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Aunty Bella: Miss. Broken Hymen

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Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice as well.
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I am a 28-years-old, based in Canada and I am a virgin.

Recently, I developed some itching down there and I decided to visit the hospital for check up. The doctor examined me and said I had yeast infection and prescribed some drugs. Out of curiosity, I asked the female doctor to check if i still have an hymen, I got the shock of my life when she told me, “your hymen has been broken”.

It’s being over 3 months or thereabout since I saw the doctor and those words keeps ringing inside my head. I have never had sex, although, I was a school runner back then in boarding school and for over a year now, I have been involved in all sort of exercise to keep fit.

My question is, “is it possible for one to be born without an hymen?”

Second, will it be painful the first time since the doctor said, “there is no hymen”? and third, will I bleed?

PS: Please no bashing please. I am as confused as anything and I sincerely hope your comments will make me feel a lot better. Thank you all.

Photo Credit: Luminastock | Dreamstime.com

57 Comments

  1. raphael

    January 19, 2015 at 9:43 am

    It’s been proven that engaging in rigorous exercises can break your hymen even if you don’t engage in any sexual activities so you have nothing to worry about or be scared about.

    Depending on how tight you still are or your body, you might bleed or you might not bleed. There are people that have sex frequently but there vijayjay’s still return to being as tight as before that it hurts bad each time they have sex and they sometimes bleed again.

    So for the pain, I would just advice you to make sure you are turned on before you have sex, make sure to have enough foreplay so you can get very wet. Talk to your guy about getting lubrications and make sure they are water based lubes and not oil based.

    so don’t be scared. I would have dropped my web address but bella naija won’t post my message. so you can always write to me if you need any advice. [email protected] is my email.. Have a nice day dear…

    • D Main Man

      January 19, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      Posts relating to VAGINA, VIRGINITY, SEXTUALITY always rank in more comments. and VIRGINS are still holding in there not minding the KONJI. Please pop that cherry and berry. Life means more that holding it back.

  2. TANTRA

    January 19, 2015 at 9:51 am

    Forget the hymen. Live your life happily. Some of the questions you are asking us should have been directed to the/a doctor.

    • Pomegranate

      January 19, 2015 at 10:39 am

      So you bypassed your doctors and came to bellanaija to find medical answers?
      Something else must be broken, not just the hymen. Hiss.

    • Ade

      January 19, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      That’s not nice c’mon.

    • Tee

      January 19, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      How would we learn from her experience if she had just kept the information only between herself and the doctor…. Always think before you post

    • sade

      January 21, 2015 at 9:11 pm

      lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo ahn ahn

    • Mama

      February 5, 2015 at 3:09 am

      Has it occurred to your myopic and retarded mind that the doctor could also be speaking from a limited experience? The medical books might say yes or no but someone out there could have an experience different from what the doctor or medical books says………oversabi I too know mscheeeew

    • www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com

      January 19, 2015 at 1:24 pm

      My thoughts exactly. Ask a doctor.

  3. ferrare

    January 19, 2015 at 9:51 am

    You should have just asked the doctor all these questions but i know someone who got their hymen broken from riding a bike (at least that is what she was told) and yes, the first time was just as painful for her too.

    • Colour Purple

      January 19, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      My first time wasn’t painful and I didn’t not bleed. I used to play a lot of sports when I was younger so I guess that is why.

  4. Golden Geh

    January 19, 2015 at 9:55 am

    Babe no cause for alarm. It’s a normal thing that happens when you are a sports woman. Mine broke at 16. You need to see my fears. It doesn’t mean when it’s time for sex you won’t feel pain or you wont bleed. Hope I was able to disperse your small fear with my small experience.

  5. bruno

    January 19, 2015 at 9:56 am

    we are not doctors so we can’t answer ur questions correctly. but since u haven’t been penetrated by a guy (or girl, as the case may be *wink*) before, u are still a virgin.

  6. blow

    January 19, 2015 at 9:57 am

    It is ok babe, first time will still be painful,
    U may bleed if you still have crauncles (bits of the hymen membrane)
    Sometimes nature jokes wt the body, some even have imperforate hymen, whilst some have really elastic ones,,,,, probably yours got ripped through exercise,,,, but if u have not had sex,,, (including fingerings o,,, cos dat can tear ur hymen),,,u will still have ur crauncles

  7. CoconutPineapple

    January 19, 2015 at 10:05 am

    *speechless*

    Dear Lady, you need to go back to the Hospital and have a sit down with your Doctor and ask him all these questions, not Aunty Bella.

    You also need to get a routine Pap Smear exam, whether you’re sexually active or not.
    Because you are of age.

    Your Vagina is a part of your body, you need to learn about it, look at it, read up about it, don’t negate it because you’re NOT having sex.

    • NK

      January 19, 2015 at 10:39 am

      will like to know about this pap smear……i have browsed through the internet………But will like someone to elucidate more on it.

    • Fashionista

      January 19, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Dear NK, don’t just browse through the internet, make an appointment with your Doctor immediately! A pap smear is a routine test, where a swab is taken from your cervix and is tested for elements of cervical cancer. In England, once you turn 25 (when youre assumed to be active sexually), youre supposed to commence routine checks every 6 months or every year (don’t rem now). But that is changing, even children as young as 12 can take a jab to prevent it or adults who have never had sex should still do a pap smear and not wait till you are sexually active. Cervical cancer is a very common cancer in women. When caught early, your chances of beating it is very high, hence why you must do a pap smear ASAP and as young as possible self.

      Please go and do a pap smear now!

    • Slice

      January 19, 2015 at 12:57 pm

      @fashionista The requirement has been revised to three to five yrs. they sad every year before but docs now agree no need to check that often.
      webmd.com/menopause/guide/menopause-pap-smear
      mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/pap-smear/basics/why-its-done/prc-20013038

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 19, 2015 at 11:46 am

      “Your Vagina is a part of your body, you need to learn about it, look at it, read up about it, don’t negate it because you’re NOT having sex.”

      Truer words on the vagina haven’t been said in a while so thank you for that, CoconutPineapple.

      @NK, please get yourself booked for a pap smear (also known as a cervical swab) at your earliest opportunity. And there’s nothing wrong with finding out some of the basic information about the “whats” and “whys” for yourself in advance of the appointment with your doctor, who will then fill you in with the more specific medical details.

      It’s one of those intrusive and uncomfortable examinations that seem to form part of the many great joys of being a woman but the actual swab literally only takes a few minutes (nurse sticks the swab in, twists it around and then extracts) and it could save your life.

  8. Ufuoma

    January 19, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Good morning, the hymen is a very thin very flimsy layer that can be broken quite easily by sporting activities or any other thing that a woman engages in e.g riding a bike,horse back riding etc, and a good number of women are born without a hymen.HAving a broken hymen doesn’t negate the fact that you are still a virgin your fist time will still be painfull especially if your partner is bigger than average and you might not bleed but again please note that not everyone bleeds on their first time. This whole idea of you must bleed the first time coz you are a virgin has caused a lot of issues and mistrust in relationships because men expect that if you are a virgin you should bleed and that’s totally false.Live your life and enjoy yourself! Life’s too short to be worrying about things like this

    • NK

      January 19, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Thank you Ufuoma……………I like your response. I experienced that too. I married being a virgin. I think the hymen was already broken though I didn’t go for any check up. Like a drop blood was in my Virgina after the first intercourse after a lot pain!!!. To me breaking of the hymen doses not necessarily mean you are not a virgin, knowing within yourself that you have not had any intercourse.

    • C'est moi

      January 19, 2015 at 11:06 am

      VAGINA!

  9. madam

    January 19, 2015 at 10:09 am

    this is me. thank you BN

  10. jay

    January 19, 2015 at 10:10 am

    islamicgarden.com/mythhymen.html
    Hope it helps..it helped me too

  11. madam

    January 19, 2015 at 10:10 am

    YOU PROBABLY GOT FINGERED, OR DID SOME SPORTS..YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED THE BLOOD

  12. SSSS

    January 19, 2015 at 10:10 am

    true

  13. Lulu

    January 19, 2015 at 10:11 am

    “is it possible for one to be born without an hymen?”- Ok I am no gynecologist but as far as I am aware all females are born with hymens. But it can tear due to a number of reasons, as you mentioned above you were quite active in sports so this could be a reason you know longer have it.
    Will it be painful? If you are a virgin most likely, pain doesn’t just come from a penis tearing the hymen it also comes from the fact that your Virgina walls are not use to penetration, so you will feel some discomfort initially for sure.

    Not all virgins bleed, especially without a hymen. Good Luck!!!!

  14. Tweeny Tee

    January 19, 2015 at 10:27 am

    ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGY TODAY:

    Hymenal tissue is usually worn away by adolescence. During the early years, the membrane thins and widens as a result of athletics, self-exploration, cleansing and even activity as simple as walking. A little of the tissue may remain around the vaginal opening, but that’s usually it. Which means…

    The pain experienced by many women during their first time is not because the hymen is breaking. That urban legend you’ve most likely heard about? It was actually a big ol’ myth. Most of the membrane is already worn away when a woman finally has intercourse, and plays little to no role discomfort. Many gals believe their initial sexual experience is going to be unpleasant, because that is what they’ve been told, so it is. It makes sense when you think about it. When we think something will hurt, we feel anxious and tense which ultimately gives way to pain.

    Those “bloody sheets” are not because the hymen is tearing, either. Most young partners are not experienced love-makers. Those first times are usually less skilled and sensual, and more trial and error. Hurried, poorly-lubricated or rough sex can cause sensitive vaginal tissue to bleed, but not hymenal tissue to break.

    The intact hymenal membrane does not cover the whole vaginal opening. If it did, girls who still had bits of the hymen left at puberty would not be able to menstruate.

  15. purplegirl

    January 19, 2015 at 10:29 am

    Dear miss broken hymen,
    Yes you can break your hymen due to sporting activities. Unfortunately even with the hymen broken the first time you have sex it will still be painful. This is because well the vaginal tube will experience its first penetration. But don’t worry after a few days of lovemaking with your husband, who should know that its your first time so that he can take it easy on you, it will get easier with your vagina getting used to the penetration. So no worries. Although for the first 2 or 3 times I recommend using KY jelly after that you and your hubby should try to get used to your own natural lubrication. For more info: yahoo.com/health/8-myths-you-should-stop-believing-about-vaginas-107529347427.html

  16. straight up

    January 19, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Lol..maybe you made out with sum1 sumtym ago and got urself poked with a finger. You know all we virgins claim virgins a lot and forget all the times we’ve kissed, made out and had oral sex. But we’re still virgins aren’t we?? As long as there’s no penetration 😉 .. lmao
    On the other hand, could be a rough sport activity u had in the past and yes, some girls are born without hymen. 🙂

    • ms.b

      January 19, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      And that’s where the difference between “virginity and chastity” cums to play! Atyms I fail to know d difference between the two. A virgin is when a pennis hasn’t entered your vagina?

  17. linda

    January 19, 2015 at 10:36 am

    My dear, worry not about ur hymen, i was a virgin till 22 and thot my hymen was still intact till the first time no sign of blood and i was so surprised.

  18. Happy gal

    January 19, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Yes,it is possible to be born without an hymen,yes it will be painful d first time and u will notice stains of blood

  19. Noms

    January 19, 2015 at 10:52 am

    I laughed out loud,Another hymen issue.
    BN, you want to spoil some people’s week shey?
    I’m guessing they won’t bother reading to save themselves the fire spitting.
    No comment on the pain and all but I think it will be painful because even some non-virgins feel pains during sex due to several reasons.
    Keep Calm and be positive as much as you can. . . the mind has so much control over the outcome of issues.

  20. sass

    January 19, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Sometimes I feel like a weirdo. Was I the only person who didn’t feel any pain when she had sex for the first time?

  21. UberChick

    January 19, 2015 at 11:29 am

    Dear Canadian Virgin, stop concentrating on your hymen and have fun. You know that you have never had penetrative sex just relax please. People have real problems and you sweating over a bloody hymen (pun intended). Aunty Uber

    • Idomagirl

      January 20, 2015 at 4:20 am

      No need to be rude. It’s a part of her body and she has every right to be concerned and to ask questions.

  22. sayo

    January 19, 2015 at 11:38 am

    Miss broken hymen, why not ask Mr Google, sure you’ll see different real life answers that solve your mystery

  23. Mz Socially Awkward...

    January 19, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Dear writer, I actually read your Aunty Bella letter the first time with the assumption that you were writing from Nigeria (therefore, maybe, explaining your reluctance to pose this question to a nurse or doctor at the hospital you attended for fear of unwarranted judgement) and you were a young ‘un.

    Then the start of it caught my eye again and I realized you’re actually based in Canada. At the risk of sounding a little harsh, you’re blessed to be in a great location for making personal enquiries about sexual health and even if I was going to ascribe the reason for you being too bashful to have a face-to-face discussion on the subject with your doctor because of youthful shyness, you are not a teenager. 28 is a perfectly acceptable age to be discussing your concerns about your hymen with a medical practitioner in the comfort and privacy of his/her office. Not on BN, where you’ll be receiving unnecessary cynosure from commenters who aren’t really versed on the finer physiological details of this topic.

    Unless your question was being posed directly at Dr. Olu Craig.

    • Olivia

      January 19, 2015 at 6:19 pm

      Mehn that Dr, Olu Craig is a fine man.

    • Authentic Sunshine

      January 19, 2015 at 9:09 pm

      @ Olivia ohhh!!!!! my sister !!!!!! Chei !!!!! It is well.

    • Pat

      January 20, 2015 at 1:50 am

      lol. I wonder where he is. I asked about him yesterday to answer the Albino post

  24. Banjo

    January 19, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Tank you all

  25. nhs doctor

    January 19, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    Wow most of the people on here are really harsh.
    Hello lovely woman. Firstly yes it is possible to break you hymen without having sex. Physical activities live running horse riding and basically any exercise which requires lower body workout can break your hymen

    It comes with the territory of being an athlete.
    Secondly yes you still will feel discomfort when you become intimate and lastly depending on the size of the penis and your comfort. You will bleed during your first Sexual encounter.

    But it’s nothing to worry about because you are physically fit the pain would not be as intense.

    Hope this helps.
    Worry about something else.

    • Idomagirl

      January 20, 2015 at 4:25 am

      Honestly, I don’t get why people are being rude to her.

    • Ao

      February 19, 2015 at 12:07 am

      Honestly people can be so rude. Most time when people write things like this is because they want to see who else out there has faced the same thing. Cancer patients go to the doctor; where they find hope is by listening to other people who have overcome it. Though the two issues are not on the same scale, my point is that she is trying to reach out.

  26. Femi

    January 19, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Lol this is just ridiculous! You didn’t ask the doctor all these questions, even though it was a female doctor, and youre bringing your question to BN readers expecting intelligent or reasonable answers?

  27. Miss Jones

    January 19, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    All these na bants.

  28. Author Unknown

    January 19, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    I may be wrong, but it sounds to me like the writer is asking a socio-cultural question, and not a medical one. Basically, she wants to know if she is technically still a virgin, and whether she would be viewed as a fraud when there is no bleeding etc. the first time she has sex. As a 28-year old virgin, it is likely she is saving herself for her husband.

    • isios assistant

      January 19, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      @ author unknown. Thank God someone finally got the writers message.its like some people comment before reading and understanding the write up.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 19, 2015 at 7:05 pm

      Babes, but again, that’s a question for her to answer. The question being – since you’ve never had sex or engaged in any consensual sexual activity which led to the loss of your hymen, do you still believe that you’re a virgin or not? We can’t make up her mind for her and to be honest, you’ve raised another interesting question on the subject – is the state of virginity strictly a physical one? If your hymen gets torn because you were a child gymnast or, God forbid, you were raped as a minor then does that mean you’ve stopped being a virgin? In other words, if you lose that layer of tissue due to factors outside your control or an incident without your consent, are you now “experienced” (for lack of a better word)?

      Technically, no but in the heart of the affected person, the answer should be yes. This is my own view to the question and why I say that she won’t receive a conclusive answer to something so important to her from a panel for annonymous commenters. She needs a more personal approach to resolving the problem.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 19, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      “Technically, no but in the heart of the affected person, the answer should be yes” – for clarity, this refers to the question of whether the affected person is still a virgin.

    • Slice

      January 20, 2015 at 1:11 am

      I think u r wrong and that’s ok. Her questions r nt cultural but rather factual. Is it possible to be born without a hymen? Yes, it is rare but possible. Question two n three go together. Yes it’s possible to bleed the first time even with no hymen, but perhaps nt as likely. And yes it will likely still hurt a little as the muscle is stretched

  29. bluebell

    January 20, 2015 at 6:36 am

    Sex should be enjoyable first time or not. The only time it is a pain is when you are not ready for it or your partner is a selfish lover. It’s puts guys off you know when you start wringing about in pain and cry during sex like you are a child being abused. You will get plenty of blood, pain tearing at childbirth dont worry. you have not had sex, you know it , God knows it, guys can’t tell the Damn differences. Get over it already .28 shish!!!!!!!

  30. Mabel

    January 20, 2015 at 7:12 am

    Yes, it will still hurt when you are penetrated for the first time. You may or may not bleed,nobody knows, if for cultural reasons you need blood on your wedding night, then travel with a vial of blood, or do the surgery where they reattach the hymen(this may be pricey). All being a virgin means is that you have never had penetrative sex, having an intact hymen is not what makes you a virgin.

  31. bay

    February 27, 2015 at 10:04 am

    hmn

  32. Secondaryvirgin

    March 26, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    First of all dear gal, the whole feeling searing pain and bleeding buckets on the first time isn’t all accurate. I was 25 when I first experienced intercourse. The guy was ‘huge’ and knew nothing about foreplay. Plus I didn’t want it and was actually struggling. I think if the conditions were better lol I wouldn’t have minded the pain. Mind you if its done right and you are well lubricated it will be sweet pain lol. You will have sensations of pain mixed with pleasure. I noticed my panties were stained later but that was all.
    I had sex a few more times then went celibate. After like 6 months I had this wartish growth on my privates and my aunt referred me to a consultant gynecologist. After examinations I asked if I should do a pap smear and he said that wouldn’t really be necessary as he noticed my hymen was still intact!!!! Laugh no gree me that day….LMAO. Point is, get to know your body, including and especially your vagina. Its yours!!! Its not wrong in any way. Do not be obsessed with the whole hymen hype. I guess you are a good Christian girl, I am too, and I understand the hymen hype in church.
    Know your body, stay fit and healthy, love God and enjoy your life…….

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