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Isio Knows Better: Baddest Babes Ever Liveth

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imageIt seemed she had been sitting there for hours, on that rickety stool. She sat with her palms on her face, staring unseeing into space. Most times she ignored whatever activities were done in the kitchen (and we cooked a lot in my family) and just sat there. My siblings and I were told to walk/work around her and not to disturb her. She was fine, just having a bit of a nervous thingy.

We wondered why she wouldn’t go to any of the rooms but had to sit in that corner of the kitchen on that particular rickety stool. We were told not to ask stupid questions and let her have her peace.

One day I couldn’t help myself, and I walked to the kitchen and asked her if she would fry eggs with me. In an instant, her eyes lit up with a light I had never seen in her before. In that moment, it felt like she was seeing me for the first time.

And so I ate the crunchy-burnt mass that my Aunty Tope had created from perfectly good eggs without judgement. In truth, those eggs turned out to be the worst I had ever had, bar none. But something about making them had done wonders to Aunty Tope’s spirits so I couldn’t complain.

Suddenly she started to share with me the story of the death of her “once great love”. It had hurt her deeply that she had been used and abused in spite of the fact that she had given it her best. Therefore she was convinced that “good girls carried last…”

“Ah, Aunty, why are you telling me all these things? I have not even started dating anybody o!” I quickly interjected.

“You think I don’t know that you like that boy… the one that has been toasting you, the Yoruba boy from the next street? What his name sef?” she chuckled without looking up from her plate.

She continued, “Anyway, you are still young… you can’t help yourself and will likely not believe or listen to me anyway, just remember what I am telling you today, GOOD GIRLS CARRY LAST.” She finished off soundly.

That night I thought about what she had said. I told myself she was just talking through the pain of her recently broken heart. I reckoned that there was no law that said great love couldn’t succeed at the first try. I was sure mine would… (I quickly added “In Jesus name” to that).

As far as I was concerned, good people “carried” first, and bad people carried last. That was what was right, it was only logical. End of discussion.

Many, many years later, as a Unilag student, I saw that many people believed as Aunty Tope did. That statement Good Girls Carry Last seemed to drive many people to alarming behaviours that were both fascinating and perplexing. What was more, it astounded, greatly. Because it seemed the worst of the worst (AKA Baddest Babes Ever Liveth AKA BABEL) were rewarded for their bad behaviours, while the good ones were treated shabbily for their audacity. And then it became tiring- listening to the BEBEL (AKA Best Babes Ever Liveth) bitch about the good life the BABEL seemed to have.

Once I shared a hostel with a BABEL. She was a good person and in time, we became friends in the way introverts and extroverts interact best. We had just one magic formula – she didn’t try to force me to live life her way, and I didn’t try to force her to sit her ass down, and live life my way. And so, we got along great, and shared many meals together.

She was the shrewdest BABEL I have ever met. And the men came in droves. Millionaires, billionaires, reformed play-boys and many, many good men. She handled her legions of admirers with such clarity, precision and strategy that the most advanced player with a PHD in Player-o-logy would give her seven tuales for her excellent “handlement” skills. And she said no a lot. Which only made them desire her more and intensify their efforts to please her.

Imagine my opolo-eyed surprise when she said to me one morning (very, very casually) that she had decided to get married. The conversation went thus:

Her: In six months, I will be married. It will either be Mr. A or B.

Me: What about Mr X? I thought he was the one you loved?

Her: (She laughs) Yeah, I love him, but I can’t marry Mr X na. Do you want me to suffer? Why should I marry someone I love more (who doesn’t treat me so well) instead of someone who loves me so much more?

Me: Ohhhh… I thought you would have gone for one of the richest ones?

Her: Nope, I would rather have the averagely rich, most sensible one. I have had money, and spent money. I just want peace and a stable home.

Me: (Still blinking…) But aren’t you worried about your future husband finding out that you’ve been a very bad girl?

Her: (She laughs again). Not really, good girls carry last na. Anyway, it’s time to settle down, I am done with this life.

And just like that, she got married four months later, became a mother and dropped off the face of the earth.

Gbam.

Phew… so, is it more than just a myth? Do good girls really carry last?

After all this time, I have to say that I think it is one of those things in life that either/or doesn’t quite cut it. It is more like a this-and-that-and-those-ones-too; one outcome no truer than the other. Yes, good girls carry last. But bad girls sef dey carry last. It is not mutually exclusive. And no, it’s not just about girls. Ever wondered why bad-boys seem to magnetize all the good girls, and good guys seem to struggle to keep/please one? (Emphasis on “seem”).

So, if you want to be good, please be good, if you want to be bad, be bad – just bear in mind that every choice has its consequence and that someone will love you for/in spite of it. It becomes a problem when you are only acting good/bad just to get a reward. (Please don’t be a complaining BEBEL if you decide to be good *chuckles*) There is a very good chance that you will carry last sha, but hey, that is just how life is sometimes.

So what is your story? Do you believe that good girls carry last? Please share.

Big e-hugs and kisses to you all! (Oh, and this is for you @jcsgrl!)

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

63 Comments

  1. omoobanta

    February 3, 2015 at 10:31 am

    yes.

  2. ada

    February 3, 2015 at 10:34 am

    Thank you Isi for this artice. nice one. It is the truth though, good girls carry last in our society. men tend to marry the crazy or razz babes as they say.

    • olu

      February 3, 2015 at 11:48 am

      Who is ‘razz’?

  3. Ginika

    February 3, 2015 at 10:43 am

    If you want to be good, be good and if you want to be bad, be bad. The point is choose a way you want to go, fully conscious of the pros and cons and run with you! I believe if you want to be successful at whatever you do, choose it and run with it but before you run with it make sure it is what you are ready for, being aware of the pros and cons.

  4. serene

    February 3, 2015 at 10:54 am

    With all the happenings around me…good girls dey carry last. Bad girls dey carry last too sha. I think its fate. Be that as it may, its important to be happy with whatever u choose to be

  5. Jo!

    February 3, 2015 at 10:55 am

    Kai, Isio has done it! Let the comments (and stories) roll in
    Yea, good girls carry last (I’m a good girl so I know :P) I think most women should try and have a healthy mix of bad in there, Guys find it “intriguing”

    • Susan

      February 3, 2015 at 9:09 pm

      You carry last, please speak for yourself. Many thanks.
      I feel completely sorry for people that read articles and totally agree with them instantly or feel it’s 100% legit in real life. So many people aren’t living their lives well are confused because of silly magazines and articles they believe and try to emulate.

  6. BEB

    February 3, 2015 at 10:58 am

    ‘So, if you want to be good, please be good, if you want to be bad, be bad – just bear in mind that every choice has its consequence and that someone will love you for/in spite of it”. This statement is so on point and i feel like if more people get this, people will just live their lives free, without fear or judgement. Just be who you are and I promise you someone will love you just like that. God bless you Isio.

  7. Glo

    February 3, 2015 at 11:00 am

    Nice one Isi….funny i woke up this morning with this thoughts ( you are what you are, whatever it is, be good at it ) in my head and i really don’t how it got there. You BABEL friend was the best at what she was.

  8. just me

    February 3, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Good Girl carry last every time. Check the ladies who are not married and who are in their 50’s they were all good girls, hardly will you ever see a bad girl carrying last. However once you are good, it is very difficult changing to becoming bad. In all we should apply wisdom

    • iyke

      February 3, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      Men like bad girls just like women like bad boys. The difference is that men don’t stupidly fall in love with them…unless the guy is stupid. lol
      On the other hand, women want a hot,sexy, bad-boy who is NICE TO HER. It’s not the niceness that makes him attractive…No, if you are a nice boy, she puts you on a friend zone and make you her special adviser.
      Instead, it’s his hotness,sexiness and bad-boyness that does that for her ( makes him attractive). She just desires this hot, sexy, bad boy to be NICE to her. (lol)
      On a more thoughtful note, everything falls away when you focus on what you really want. If you are a good girl, don’t settle,don’t be deceived by the bad girl – good girl argument. Be yourself and believe that you will find the one who will watch every sun rise with you until the sunset of your life.
      DO YOU!

    • Que

      February 3, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      @Iyke I will differ small and say ‘girls’ not ‘women’ like bad boys biko…..women like grown men! who has time to be wondering why he won’t return your calls or be nice…because of flimsy sexiness…. mm mm biko… plenty sexy fish out there….
      I speak from my personal experience…. friend zoned the ‘bad boy’ for a few years, while dating others casually, till he understood d meaning of woman! I don’t get stood up or ignored at will….. know and treat yourself with value, and he’ll follow suit! I must admit though as a girl I once fell for sexiness…. but thats what growing is for.

      As for the article… I personally believe in being well rounded…. I can’t be the stereotypical ‘BABEL’ if I tried, but I believe that if the so called bad girls are winning at a game you like to play, get out of ur zone and inquire….learn a few things and personalise them…. if the good girls are winning in your chosen field, learn what they’re doing right…. define your boundaries and give your best, believing in whoever you believe in….if you get some fish you don’t like, toss em out and cast your nets again…. try and keep trying and stretching beyond your comfort zone till you get what you’ll be happy with….noone says it must be perfect for the world…it just has to be perfect for you…..that’s enough!

      Cheers…

    • iyke

      February 3, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      @Que,
      my comment ‘ On a more thoughtful note, everything falls away when you focus on what you really want” explains my position. We are both on the same page hun!

    • di

      February 3, 2015 at 5:10 pm

      Your entire write-up is mostly on what woman think/want. Sorry lad, if you are NOT A FEMALE you cann’t truly know. Your knowledge is based off assumptions and your comments are dripping of bad experiences. Believe me, you don’t know; you only know what men think/want. You cann’t speak for women too; unless you have a v*ginaa and think like a woman. You donn’t have that closure, even women don’t have that enough closure with themselves to know their truth.

    • Susan

      February 3, 2015 at 9:17 pm

      Just me, please pardon me, but your comment is the most stupid comment I’ve ever read on BN. Goodness gracious me! Many women are also in their 50s, “bad ones” and are single. I really cannot stand shallow comments or people that generalise life on a few situations, or even much worse, try to give insight to justify how to they live their lives.

  9. Ocean Beauty

    February 3, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Sometimes with the way things are one can’t help but believe in predestination. I have never been a bad girl or a good girl. I see myself as a smart sensible girl. If waka waka no go pay u, e no go pay u. If u like hang out in Aso Rock daily, if oil no dey your head, e no dey. Just pray for grace and favor each day. Things will work out for you. My own philosophy abeg

  10. bb

    February 3, 2015 at 11:03 am

    The part I still do not understand is how it seems that those girls who had the most abortions and are retired “sharers” are the ones who give birth to children so easily the moment they get married while the so called good girls stay ‘looking for the fruit of the womb’.

    • life

      February 3, 2015 at 11:20 am

      well thats because the abortion girls know the best hospital so they visit the best doctors to take care of their business. the good girls if they do fall pregnant once and decide to have an abortion go to the wrong doctors. lol.. i feel its all fate. my friend who had a child before marriage and was around quite alot ended up marrying a rich man who adores her alot. now she has another child. And her hubby takes care of the three of them. spends money on her anyhow. me im still here looking for BAE. i dont have a child. i havent been around

  11. Neo

    February 3, 2015 at 11:07 am

    To answer this question, I must understand what the “finish line” is in this race between the BEBELs, BABELs and EL OH ELs. On a serious note though i think the assumption is that we are all striving for the same goal. I cannot be running a race to end up in Ogbomosho (blame Atoke) and I have reached Lagos and I am looking at someone that is running to Kafanchan. It appears that the ideal goal for the woman is to “settle down and marry a prize man and birth cute babies with a full head of hair” What if i’m thinking CEO, Forbes magazine, using dollars to blow my nose?

    Now i am not playing the femnist card oh, i dont even have it in my deck. My point is that we are so innately judgmental that we feel that the path we have placed ourselves on AKA our personal journey is the road to El dorado so we judge anyone on a different path. Career women judging lazy stay at home mothers, stay at home mothers judging selfish career women. I know this beacuse i have been guilty of it, I’ve also looked at wedding and family pictures of ex classmates in shock. This one fit marry? this one fit born??? Hian! The truth about it is that life isnt handing out medals for good behaviour (in this context) because as long as we are here on earth, human beings like us are the judge, the jury and the executioner. I never reach heaven before so i dont know what will happen there. I have grown up a lot since i last “believed in karma” and just taken life as “it is what it is” handle each phase as gracefully as one can and move on to the next. Some people in Uni had abortionists on speed dial, some knew home made concoctions that could vaporise foetuses and today they have 7 cute babies, some saw the “green eyed monster” for the first time 3 months after their wedding night and years later they are looking for child. Some BABELs marry the day after graduation, yet president of Womens fellowship is on the “wrong side of 30” doing fasting and prayer for Mr. Right.

    Sorry for the long post, my friends and I had a similar discussion recently so i have an arsenal of talking points. My point is that life itself is a journey of self discovery, many of us find ourselves along the way, some of us are still searching, we dont know where will end up and in the interim my advice is DO YOU and have strong reasons for your choices!

    • TA

      February 3, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      This right here is my point too. I wish Isio had included what the ‘destination or finish line’ is, in reference to the ‘carry last’ maxim. For all you know, one girl’s definition of ‘carry last’ is not to be left behind in the ‘find husband’ business while another girl’s own definition of carry last is not to find that job she has laboured for all her life, yet another’s definition of ‘carry last’ is to end up poor so said girl will do ‘runs’ and all sorts just to have money.
      If the question is ‘why do ‘good girls’ not get ‘good men’ to marry and instead is the bad girl sthat keep getting them? I think it is because most times, the ‘bad girls’ know how to attract a man and keep him…
      If you not in a race with anyone in this life so to carry last nor go reach your side because you weren’t even running with anyone in the first place. 🙂

    • chu girl

      February 3, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      my goodness!! I love ur choice of words…..made ur comment worth reading

    • Magz

      February 4, 2015 at 8:40 am

      Neo, thanks for this! Everybody has their own “finish line” (bad girls & good girls). For some, it is a good career, for some, it is a good marriage and for some, it is a combination of the two. However, it seems that it is quite easy for us to judge other people based on our own finish line.

      Choose whoever you want to be and know the pros and cons! Do you!

  12. Nahum

    February 3, 2015 at 11:16 am

    I think this is not about good girls/bad girls carrying last. Everyone has their own destiny and each human must walk their own path. The problem starts from when a person wants to walk down the path of another, expecting the same result. For example, if you had decided to follow in your room mates footsteps, you might have ended up badly. Life is all about contentment, just be content with your life and don’t envy the lives of others.

  13. Radiant

    February 3, 2015 at 11:24 am

    I am guessing the sentences need completion – ‘good girls carry last in getting married’? or not. Marriage is kinda like the Bermuda triangle where everything intersects. 😛

  14. ijerinma

    February 3, 2015 at 11:37 am

    To all the Ladies-know thy self

  15. One Girl

    February 3, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Isio, great write up as usual, its about time someone talked about this, good girls vs bad girl and who wins or loses, most self acclaimed bad girls were once good o, I’ll use myself as an example. I used to be a good girl o(not that I’m that bad now either) I was those kinda babes that was brought up with good moral values, always facing my book and never had time for boys, till I turned 18. Was in a relationship with this guy who totally drove me crazy(not crazy good), I loved him and he loved me, but he loved his friends more, cos their opinion mattered more, they kept portraying me like I was one really bad girl, but I wasn’t, and he was buying, but it became worse when he started accusing me of wanting to sleep with his friends(which has never crossed my mind…….. until he started with accusations) it was really painful, cos I gave the relationship my everything, but was getting almost nothing, and so we broke it off, and to get back @ him, I slept with his friend( make una no abuse me o, it wasn’t a very smart move, if only I knew then what I know now) , but it felt goooooood! I did not regret it, the guy sef wan begin form serious o, which led to a fight between him and ex in a beer parlour!( Aim accomplished! It got to him) I continued seeing the friend wey don fall completely, but I didn’t attach any string, I would freely pick other people’s call in front of him (I no send am), it was fun watching a guy want u for keeps while u couldn’t care less about his feelings, besides the fact that he was one of the friends that was against my relationship with my ex, I felt I was on a revenge mission against all men( which was stupid then), I told myself that having feelings was very expensive, and I couldn’t afford it! Instead I was all for the fun! U had to have a certain standard to roll with me, I didn’t do small boys no more, later I graduated to doing strictly married men,(see wetin heartbreak dey cause), but no matter how bad I was, it was always one person @ a time, so it was more like dating someone with terms and conditions applied, but body no be firewood, and these feelings have a mind of their own, they just overtake u when u r not looking and when u least expected. But the problem was that u will like/love someone who already thinks u r a bad girl incapable of feeling, and he would not reciprocate ur feelings, and u dare not make him see through u, so u pretend, and u suffer till it ends, or u meet someone who likes/loves you despite ur bad girl credentials but u don’t feel same way, he tries everything to be with u, but u r too busy doing you. It changed when I got admission into school, and met bad girls that are on a different level, the real desperate ones( wey bad from mama belle), I know say I dey learn, It changed me because I didn’t want to be that far gone, I saw things differently in school, I was no longer thirsty for irrelevant things and I was willing to be my good self again, I met a guy, he was a classmate(ha! Me? Date a bloody student?) But it was worth it, and I didn’t feel like I was dropping standard or anything like that, I was comfortable with him, I loved him, and we understood each other, he’s not perfect, he’s growing, and I’m learning daily. Abeg e do! Make I go baff!

  16. its a learning process!

    February 3, 2015 at 11:50 am

    Moral of the story, DO YOU! I have been there but I think its not meant for me o. So I carry my leg to d good girls dept. Lets see what ds holds

  17. funmilola

    February 3, 2015 at 11:54 am

    We all need wisdom……..

  18. Tuu

    February 3, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    Same discussion I had with my colleagues yesterday, I really want to read the comments and see other people’s opinions, I know a Lady that ‘baddest girl ever liveth’ she had done so many abortions with no remorse, but she got married in time and took in sharply, on the other hand,she had a cousin that was a good girl,got married a virgin when she was 30,but couldnt get pregnant,anytime she even gets pregnant,she miscarries, so please tell me, should i say God is unfair or what, or does it pay to be bad?

  19. nwanyi na aga aga

    February 3, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    isio, this is just something i discussed with a friend recently, all the BABELS in my uni class are married. babes that were trooping in and out of Lag and Abj like they were strolling thru their backyard. Nne I dont know o, but BABELS in our generation are surely coming out well. Loool! But then I know a lot of BEBELS who have it good too, Its a matter of destiny, what will be , will be.

  20. anonymous

    February 3, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Some people just have that annoying good girl gene. No matter what I do. even if I sleep with a whole community, people still see me as a good girl

    • 2015

      February 3, 2015 at 3:15 pm

      Oh my …this got me rolling .Am on the other side of the divide ,even when am not dating ,people tend to feel am a veryyyyy bad girl and the truth is i am a recluse and so bad that my social life is ZERO.

  21. bolatito

    February 3, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    Wateva rocks your boat. Ask God for guidance ,whether u choose to be a BABEL or BEBEL,

  22. TA

    February 3, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    This right here is my point too. I wish Isio had included what the ‘destination or finish line’ is, in reference to the ‘carry last’ maxim. For all you know, one girl’s definition of ‘carry last’ is not to be left behind in the ‘find husband’ business while another girl’s own definition of carry last is not to find that job she has laboured for all her life, yet another’s definition of ‘carry last’ is to end up poor so said girl will do ‘runs’ and all sorts just to have money.
    If the question is ‘why do ‘good girls’ not get ‘good men’ to marry and instead is the bad girl sthat keep getting them? I think it is because most times, the ‘bad girls’ know how to attract a man and keep him…
    If you not in a race with anyone in this life so to carry last nor go reach your side because you weren’t even running with anyone in the first place. 🙂

  23. pseudosaby

    February 3, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    On point as usual Isio…!
    Still thought of this yesterday.. was a BEBEL and got married early last year, no show yet whereas my BABEL coz who got married in December is already down with morning sickness…
    I personally think what makes it seem like the BABELs have the best of men or marriage is that their exposure makes them see through and analyze men easily and objectively as opposed to a BEBELs who are more likely to get carried away by the façade and charms of men they come across. And as them BABELs eye don tear, common sense and not emotions usually comes to play in their decision making, thus the reason for the results which are abound..(them no like audio money and no get time for stories that touch!)
    But it should be noted that BABELs “gbagaun” too o!! its just that they easily pick themselves up and resume hustling till they get their desires.(which should be a normal attitude to life for anyone).
    BEBELs should also brace themselves up for life/relationship and all it entails. u don’t have to be a BABEL to learn and know some things that will help you make rational decisions in life.. no man is being created or upgraded for the number of years you keep yourself (I am not saying anyone should be loose, but we need to learn more) . know and improve yourself and whoever you are getting down with…Choose your path and try to get the best of it., the prize at the end of the race might be a function of some lessons learnt in the process of the race and not for how long you have run the race……

    • derhmy

      February 4, 2015 at 9:45 am

      Audio money! ROTFL..actually hearing dat one for the first time

    • anonymous

      February 4, 2015 at 11:17 am

      That part of BABELS gbagauning too is so on point. Even the so called Playboys get heartbroken, but they move on.

      The thing to learn from BABELS is this, babes, be open to everyone who comes around; date, spend their money and invest your own or if it’s just hang out you want, please go out and don’t beat yourself up about anything.

      Live your best life, enjoy the people around you, don’t try too hard to show that you’re good and the right guy will find you.

      A good girl will cry for months about a break up telling everyone around her while a baddo will just move on.

      My people, enjoy this thing called Life abeg.

  24. Dr N

    February 3, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Let’s assume d finish line is marriage. Everything in life is about strategy, wise planning, timing and seizing opportunity. So called bad girls learn d way men think n use it to manipulate d man they want into marrying them. Good girls leave things to chance. Read d book of Ruth and notice d advice her BABEL of a mother in law gave her. She for farm for Boaz tire! He would have married someone else.
    As for bad girls conceiving easily, that is not proven. Fertility issues can happen to anyone. Sometimes bad girls seek medical a ttention earlier while good girls are busy accusing God.
    “God, I kept my virginity? Why?”
    Rather, than go for help, they will try every other thing.
    If u are a good girl and still single don’t envy d BABEL! Why? You no get d liver for what they MAY be enduring. Do u know if they married a man who likes threesomes, is actually a closet gay, a wife beater, or worse? You may have met similar men but chose to wait for a man who will treat u right.

    Celebrate your decision while u strategize on how to make d right choice cos believe me, Mr. Right is coming

  25. D

    February 3, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    I met my first baddest girl 3 years into my career, I am a good girl and everyone knows and everyone knows that this girl is one of them baddddd a*** babes , so bad I told her I had a 3 Months rule with her, if she can stay interested in any 1 guy for more than 3 Months then he is worth me meeting him, as in there is potential (she has only tried to introduce me to 1 guy and I know that guy is the one that she still loves and although he loves her, it can’t just work for them) and she does not feel any shame about it. The only thing I know she does not really talk about is the 1 abortion she has had and although we are close and she tells me EVERRRRY Thing, this is the one thing she has never really come out to tell me but has alluded to it when we talk. People have asked us how we ended up being BFW (Best friends at Work) because we are extreme opposites in personalities (introvert vs extrovert, Bad girl vs good girl). Like Isio and her roomie, I made it clear to her that I would never judge her no matter what she says, I am allowed to be shocked and to express my shock but I will not say anything judgmental or act judgmental towards her ( That was her biggest fear and she made it clear to me) and as long she does not try to make me one of her bad girlfriends then we are good and it works for us. What’s interesting is that one of her biggest wishes is to be married and that has eluded her so far but yet she is the one that gets the promotions and job opportunities with a snap of a finger because of her outgoing nature. For me my own dream is to be successful career wise and I gots to fight tooth and nail for my promotions and job opportunities. See Life!!!!

  26. Me

    February 3, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    what makes you term a girl as good or bad, we forget that life rewards all sins equally,so we look at a girl sleeping around and then the one who gossips around and lies around but you don’t know about it,you term her a good girl and wen she dsnt get a husband early, you say life is not fair. Most of these ‘bad girls’ are so much nicer than the ‘good girls’,majority of wat they earn they spend it on people around, have you ever wondered why these girls have so much friends and people who depend on them. ive been bad in the past,i didn’t like it but shit happens,people were quick 2 judge me. Today am in a very gud place and am dating a very very gud guy,he knws abt my past but luvs me scatter.i don’t encourage anybody 2 live the kind of life I did because it can come wit a lot of bad experiences,bad girls wont tell you about, all u see is the glamour.It also helps u know a bad guy from a good guy, dats why most bad girls end up with good guys, they can smell good guys from a distance and they settle down once they find one.Greediness is the major reason why girls become bad, nt being contented with wat u hv. Look beyond the glamour they are a lot of pains behind the ‘wealthy runs girl image’ you just dnt knw abt it.The suffering can even be more than wat the ‘good girls’ suffer sef,just choose your own walk in life,take responsibility for your actions so u dnt regret anytin done and be happy, life is nt all about marriage, having children and all dose minor tins, achieve your purpose in life and be fulfilled in what ever way u deem fit. Life goes on jare

  27. niola

    February 3, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    Yup! good girls they carry last o! but me i definitely came first sha… cause as a good girl, though i live in the world i am not of the world..heh hehh ehhh :LOL

  28. 2015

    February 3, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    The BABEL knows how ,where and when to meet , socialise and hook up the so called good boys ,The good buys werent soo good way back in school but because they cldnt mingle or afford the BABELS in school ,they face their studies and nurse their feelings over the years .the moment the good boy goes clubbing and meets BABEL,he feels excited to talk to BABEL because he can now impress her with money and dang …the good boy is HOOKED.

  29. mee

    February 3, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    its not only the BABELS that get it all good i knw lotssss of gals who were good nd decent nd re married with kids and succesfful careers. infact plenty of them nd i also knw the chief BABELS in my uni who is desperately wanting to settle down already in late 30s nd now a strong church woman some of her CO_BABELS re already married with kids. I think its different strokes for different folks choose the path that suit u best and pray u prosper in it

  30. Menoword

    February 3, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    Sometimes the reason why it seems like BABELs carry first is because they learn early what the rules are, and they make the rules work for them, the most successful create their own rules and the world falls in line. BEBELS many times find themselves conforming to what society defies as a good girl. So they don’t grow, find their voice, find themselves. They trust only in their “good girl” energy to get them that perfect man/perfect life. It doesn’t happen.

    We define a BABEL by her lifestyle, but we also acknowledge with grudging pride that they grab life by the horns and take what they want. That kind of confidence is always attractive. Many times, what good girls grumble about is the audacity with which these girls ignore the “rules” and still come out tops. But what are the rules really?

    To me, there is no such thing as a Bad or good girl, there are girls who have decided to go off the conventional path (with the consequences attached) and girls who stay on it (and hope for the best). Each one can learn from the other.

    • Tru

      February 3, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      Gurl, your comment rocks. Totally.

    • Easy n Gentle

      February 3, 2015 at 8:00 pm

      I appreciate that your comment was based totally on logic and you didn’t try to “God” or “destiny”-Ize your point.

    • tunmi

      February 4, 2015 at 12:36 am

      And I see this a lot in korean dramas. The “evil.woman” is the one who dares to achieve her goals while the “good woman” is the meek one waiting to be noticed. And that ish pisses me off because of the one-sided portrayal.

      And yeah, excellent logical analysis.

  31. Tru

    February 3, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    ahhhh, Isio, you never fail to make me love Tuesdays. Thank you for a lovely read.

  32. Confuzzled

    February 3, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    The moral of the story should be Wall Flowers Finish Last (WAFFL). I’m hungry so WAFFL is the acronym lol. Don’t sit at home and wait for your soulmate (snicker) to come find you…

    I’m a Best Babe sha. Only been in two relationships. Both long term, the 2nd is ongoing and very strong. Just waiting till he finishes his doctorate before we take the next step 🙂 Anyhoo. Ladies get out there, meet people. mingle, be interesting/interested. Know what you want and go after it. Don’t be a wallflower, participate!! You’ll be alright in time. I had a good three years of singledom between my last and current relationship. In that time I met many guys and dated a few. In the end none were a good fit so I kept my standards and said goodbye. And then I met my man 🙂 It took some time to realize, but we fumbled our way into something special.

    FYI Best Babes can go out dancing from time to time, Best Babes know their assets and accentuate them tastefully, Best Babes can drink wine and other adult beverages, Best Babes can even flirt sometimes lol.. Just putting it out there in case some of us are wondering.

    Best of luck to us all (including my BABELS).

  33. Peaches77

    February 3, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    For me ‘personality’ is the biggest determinant, not necessarily the good or bad girl categories. I find that hard to define anyway..

  34. loveme

    February 3, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    i so love this article. Its something which me n my girls talk on a lot of times y it has to be so. To me, i am a good girl but sincerely i tend to always be seen as a bad chick. Am a fine babe so i usually have several guys wanting me which makes folks think i am bad. I really dnt try to prove myself bc i aint looking for validation but again i hate the misconception. The bottom line is, do u and be comfortable with thyself

  35. cti

    February 3, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I went to unilag, lived off campus for 4 years in hostels that housed some of the biggest Babels ever liveth. There was Nothing I didn’t see from abortions to jazz and the list is endless. I agree that most of them are married and all, but as I read through the comments, it seems like the goal is “Marriage”
    Lets remember that marriage is not a destination, its a journey and frankly speaking, Anybody can get married, but its marrying the right person that’s the point.
    Good girls will never carry last in Gods eye, maybe in the eyes of the world. That’s why Christians should live and make decisions because they love and want to honor God and not because you think a man would cherish you better.
    I also think some good girls are not exposed and don’t like to live. You can have clean fun, travel, explore.
    I was always nice &friendly to the babels back in school and menh…. i never envied them or will ever envy one. Cause when the curtains are down, you see the real them, in pain, hurt, terrible self esteem and depression. The things they do to get what they have, you don’t wanna know.
    Do the right thing basically, Jesus didn’t die so we will not carry last , get married and give birth , he died so we can honor him with our lives and influence others to do same.

  36. chy

    February 3, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    What makes a girl, a bad girl or good girl? Who made that decision? Please, yall need to stop over analyzing why some girls make decisions (weather bad or good and for whatever reason). In my own opinion good girls seems to be the ones who don’t go after everything in life that they want. The bad girls go after everything they want. (They make so many mistakes along the way and adjust to lesson learned along the way). These bad mistakes and decisions gets these girls bad girl titles. Example: good girl wants a boyfriend – she actively does nothing but have hope. bad girl wants a boyfriend – she actively goes after her friend’s man while hoping he will follow her and he does. (Hope is good but action is required to see a product ). Now bad girl went after the closet man to her radar, her friends man (the bade decision and mistake that she may or may not learn from). The difference is clear. Those who actively seeking while hopefully get to what they want faster. They may make a lot of mistakes along the way but the do achieve what they went after. When you are active, you don’t have time to wallow in hurt emotions of something not working out; you keep going. I think this what most “bad girls” can do better than “good girls “.

    Note to women: let yourself know you. Say no to things you know on the long term you won’t be able to live with. You don’t need to be nice to an asshole. Require certain things from life, man, job, friends etc for you to stick around doing same thing. If a man does not meet your requirements 80 percent it is okay to move on and be disappointed and meet another better dude or worst dude; experience life on your own terms please.

  37. Somebody

    February 3, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    I know several ‘bad girls’ who are married today, and without too much punting I will list categorically the things I have noticed about them all, including those who are NO LONGER MARRIED. I hope this list will help to show why it helps to stay good regardless, of what you think your neighbor is gaining from her BABEL lifestyle.

    1. These women have low self esteem, and see men as the inevitable ingredient to their success in life. This is a kind of mental bondage if you ask me. Even when they weren’t married, men, or their admiration/ good opinion/ desire were somehow always inextricably linked to their ideals of success.

    2. Their husbands love them, but don’t respect them. The way the husbands of the ‘bad girls’ I know treat them…..it’s not worth wearing a ring for. The thing is, because of the importance they place on these mens presence in their lives they sit for this crap. And these were the women forming ‘strong babes’ before they were married. Really?

    Also these men feel a certain sort of power over these women, like ‘hey I married you didn’t I?’ Which the women I have observed respond to, as the men wish them too. Abeg marraige should not be ‘manage manage’. Our partners should feel blessed and empowered by having us in their lives.

    3. They are concealing a lot from their husbands and the outside world. There isn’t a single BABEL I know who isn’t trying to constantly manipulate husbands, friends, relationships etc just to keep certain unpleasant facts at bay. This makes them very difficult women to be friends with, because even when you mean well in all innocence they read threats to many random acts and act to neutralize those threats. It gets worse when they have children, and truly begin to care what unfavorable news gets passed onto them. Watch how they will start to shade all and sundry and even cut off old pals, just to maintain a favorable mirage for their children. BABELS are the original FRENEMIES.

    4. Contd from no 3; they wear masks until they feel it’s safe to let down their guard and lead with the real person. This can be quite an unpleasant shock to friends, acquaintances, and even husbands, but hey it’s all about reaching the ‘finishing line’ by hook or by crook right? So all is fair in love war.

  38. Bulls Eye

    February 3, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    Good girls carry first/ Bad girls carry first. I’ve been married to the same woman for 8 years. She was 17 when i met her and i was 20. (I’m 40 now). It boils down to individuals and their capacity for commitment. It’s really quite simple. Do you have a need and does that person satisfy this need…. I think it would have been the same for me whether she was a BABEL or a BEBEL. All i’m saying is that i’m happy and satisfied with what i have. She’s not a hundred percent but then, nobody is.

  39. Nwakechi

    February 4, 2015 at 3:09 am

    I’m troubled by this article and even more troubled by the comments. Please stop defining success by the act of ” getting married” I know many single girls who chose to be happy and single rather than go into a terrible Marraige, ( many people will not tell you the hell they go through in their Marraige)many of you going by your comments would define them as ” carrying last”I got married at an early age as a virgin and I will tell you guys love me to the point of obsession even after four kids and 12 years of Marraige. I was chatting with an old friend and he told me the reason for this is my confidence and personality. Please girls! Let your inner beauty shine through and you’ll be irresistible to both men and women,refuse to be labelled or defined,be the best you there could ever be and I’m sorry but I find this ” good girls dey carry last ” mantra distasteful

  40. melinda

    February 4, 2015 at 10:55 am

    *if u want to be good, be good if u want to be bad be bad* for all those pretending to get reward. nice one isio

  41. jhennique

    February 5, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Haha. Na who wan carry last go carry last. Being a good girl dont mean you shouldnt be smart. BE smart, be confident and most importantly KNOW WHAT YOU WHAT OUT OF LIFE. Marriage isnt everything. Just be happy and LIVE!!!!

  42. nkirukamary

    February 5, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    been a gud gal has open my eyes alot,ve bn there b4 n is nt nice bt gud.well,it all abt u.jst be a little nice n a little mean dt all.

  43. patsychy

    February 6, 2015 at 9:32 am

    Nice one Isio de la vega! Good girls and bad girls carry last too.no one is exempted.BABELs have their pains dat dey don’t like disclosing to anyone,de hells they went through in finding happiness and settlement.so its different strokes for different folks.Be who you wanna be and achieve good things you deserve and leave de notion…BABELs get de best out of life because of de glamour surrounding dem.as a BEBEL go to school,acquire knowledge and skills,get a decent job,earn a living and be happy married or not.life is too short to kill yourself over societal achievements and not what U want or deserve.

  44. buchi

    February 6, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    a nice mix of good and bad in one babe is very intriguing for guys

  45. Ernie

    February 21, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    The Babels of this world are intelligent, confident and smart. They know what they want and go for it. I use to know a lady then when I was in Uni… She was friendly, pretty and very nice. Everybody loved her even though she was a big time runs girl she had impeccable manners. I think their confidence is a huge turn on for guys

  46. Abominable snow girl

    September 29, 2016 at 8:25 pm

    The girls that aren’t technically “good” or “bad”, where do you place those ones?. Me, I wasn’t good, I wasn’t bad either. ?

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