Connect with us

Features

Isio Knows Better: Faking Orgasms

Isio De-laVega

Published

 on

I noticed off the bat that something was wrong with Caroline when I met her at her house.

First of all, we were supposed to go out for lunch when she called me that morning to cancel unexpectedly. She wasn’t up to leaving the house- and asked if I could come over instead? I had no problems with that. I brought the ingredients to cook jollof rice and beamed my “hellooooo” when she opened the door.

Almost immediately, I noticed something was different with her. She was… walking funny, and when she tried to sit down, she angled her hips so that she landed on the chair with the side of her bum.

“Caroline, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” I asked her.

She winced as she got up. She couldn’t even walk straight to and from the kitchen.

“Why are you walking like that?” I questioned her, chuckling.

Mehnnn, Isio, na wa o. If I tell you what happened to me eh, I don’t even know whether to laugh or cry. The whole thing just tayah me sef!”

And so she told me why she was walking like she had a mermaid-tail between her thighs; why she had had to cancel our going out that day… It was so alarming, and yet so funny that (it is with her permission) I share it with you now.

Apparently, she was sore. But why was she sore? A few days ago, she and her spouse had just completed a record-breaking marathon gbenshing session. And while Oga Spartacus was descending from the heavenly heights of a roaring orgasm, he decided to ask her the question,

“Did you come, babe?”

“No” answered Caro, truthfully and bitterly. The whole thing was so marathonic, the fore-play non-existent. PLUS Oga Spartacus had taken so long to arrive that not only had her muscles gan-kpa, her legs were shaking so violently – it felt like as if their bones would dislocate from their joints any second.

I tried not to laugh. Caro winced as she shuffled in her seat as she continued. As it turned out, telling Oga Spartacus that she didn’t arrive that day was a bad idea. He became moody, which was stressful and upsetting for both of them.

Then one night he came home from an outing with the boys, and even though she already lay in bed asleep, he whispered to her about all the marvellous things he would do to her to ensure that would arrive this time. Na im bros start. He chook his whole head “there” and started revving up her engine. So determined was he to send her to heaven, he took it up a notch by jacking her (cough-cough) little lily with his teeth! He chopped the lily so teyyyyyyyy, it turned into a stone. No joke.

Just when Caro thought her life was over, Oga Spartacus lifted up the pillow she had used to cover her face to whisper, “That was just an appetizer, bay-beeeeeeee…”

Then, BAM!

He switched lanes and went to town with the finger moves like an Energizer bunny. At this point, already-sore Caro knew she had only two choices. She could either start wailing out in pain, or fake her “arrival”.

She chose to fake it.

And they lived happily ever after.

But this is not the end of this story. Well, it just happened that a few weeks later, five of us (Caro, Oga Spartacus and myself included) were chilling together when the two guys amongst us swore that no woman they had been with had ever faked it with them. We (the ladies) laughed and said they shouldn’t go there as they would never know if a woman was faking it. The men said lai-lai o, they would know. The idea that a woman, any woman had ever faked it with them was met with fierce rejection.

They said things like…

“Maybe it’s those other guys…”

“Do I look like I don’t know how to please a woman, listen I know what a woman likes!”

“When I do-this and do-that, confirmed, she will ARRIVE sharply!”

The debate got very heated. Caro and I just looked at each other and sipped our teas jejely.

TRUTH – Bros, you kennat know. Don’t let anybody deceive you. Everything about a woman’s orgasm is fake-able. And most women (at one point or the other) have faked it, yet most men swear that they’ve ever been faked-on.

Don’t believe me? Okay, consider this question from a concerned boyfriend and the answer given, presumably from an “expert”…

Q: I’m worried that my girlfriend is faking her orgasms. How can I tell?

A: There are some sure-fire signs she’s actually coming…

(Really? please tell us more, mbok).

– Her face and chest will be flush…

(Fake-able… but then we (Nigerians) are black, good luck trying to find that “flush”…)

– Her muscles all over her body—and inside her vagina—will tense up

(Fake-able… Any woman who can do Kegel exercises can fake “that” And every woman – half alive and half-dead- can do Kegels).

– Her eyes will close…

(Psstchewwwwww, what is this? Very, very fake-able)

– And then she’ll release and relax.

(Release what? A scream? I laugh in Tanzanian Pidgin.Very easily fake-able).

– Q/A Source: mensfitness.com

Okay o.

Now that we have put it out there that many women “fake it”, why would a woman want to “fake-it” instead of confronting the issue with her man? Well, some women admit that confronting the issue means exposing themselves to sexist backlash.

But as most men don’t know when/if a woman is faking, perhaps it will be helpful to help them understand why. If someone does not know that something is wrong, how can you expect them to act differently? Abi na?

Okay, listed below (but not limited to) are common reasons why women fake it.

  • To get it over with, because the guy stays too long.
  • To get it over with, because it’s beginning to hurt.
  • Because the woman is tired/not in the mood, but he insisted anyway, and No 1/ No 2 is beginning to happen.
  • Because she doesn’t want to be termed “broken” or “frigid”, so she will give her best fake performance, every-time.
  • Some women fake it to END foreplay. (Especially if bobo does not seem to know what he is doing there).
  • Some men are supersensitive to any hint of criticism – constructive or not – regarding their sexual skills. So she will fake it to boost his ego and sustain the peace.
  • Because most men do not understand that with women… great, memorable sex does not always end with the earth-shattering, bed-shaking big “O” , nor does having an “O” mean that the sex was above average.

At the end of the day, dearest male-folk, the only person who can tell you if she is “faking-it” is the person you suspect of faking it. So, ask – if you care. Communication is key, and ladies, faking is lying. No one likes being lied to.

So what do you guys think? As a guy, have you known/suspected a girl of faking it? As a girl, have you ever faked it and why? No judgement biko. It is for all of us to learn. Hehehheheeeee.

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

226 Comments

  1. Ada

    June 16, 2015 at 9:19 am

    I just tell him “Babe please come for me”, he comes and he rests and I rest too. We don’t talk about if I come or not and I don’t get sore. When I want to come, I ….

    • Priscy

      June 16, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      hmmm Ada
      Complete the statement o….what do you do when you want to cum?

    • D Main Man

      June 16, 2015 at 8:15 pm

      Masturbation i guess? a good number of women are sexually-richly-deprived.

      1
    • nira

      June 16, 2015 at 8:50 pm

      @ priscy……,she masturbates!

    • sd

      June 17, 2015 at 1:42 am

      You can only fake to an armateur. On arriving the honey pot produces juices and a man will feel this with his manhood. You cannot fake an orgasmic facial cringe. An a man who knows his job has enough manhood control, only then would he release. Those without manhood control can be faked coz if he would have released, it then becomes difficult to feel the woman’s release.

      Without knowledge impartation from elderly uncles, a man would probably do it very badly at the start.

    • cocozee

      August 15, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      Are you for real ..wish I can send a pic of my face cringe. .I can cringe that face at the drop of a hat.abeggi

      1
    • TobbiePeters

      December 30, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      mature!

  2. Daizzy

    June 16, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Isio dearie why would you be talking about orgasm this Tuesday morning! I’m in a meeting and thinking all sort of erotic thoughts! Choi! Not fair!

    • funmi oguns

      June 16, 2015 at 10:03 am

      @daizzy try concertrate and make sure ur trouser dosent swell up.lol

    • Daizzy

      June 16, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      I’m a she ooo…Thankfully I’m wearing a skirt today. Straight face.

    • aleesha

      June 16, 2015 at 10:57 am

      Serves you right for reading Isio while in a meeting! hehe!!

    • george ikwele

      June 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      I feel u derie…but if that mtg is what puts food on ur table, then i suggest to please please face it and leave coming to the comers…just messing with yu…holla

    • yolaine

      June 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      hahaaaaaa

    • tobechi

      June 18, 2015 at 2:02 pm

      honestly i agree with u,it had me thinking crazy and erotic stuff at work. when i was with my ex who is way older than me, i didnt enjoy sex with him. his style was very old fashioned and i had to make my self come by myself. he wld keep twisting and whinning his waist. and that hurt a lot. then i wld have to fake it or start to scream out of pain. he would tell me that i was frigid. that was part of the reasons why i left him. most women do not have vaginal orgasm , they have clitorial orgasms. and this is achieved from through rubbing the clits gently,

    • ZoeL

      April 25, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      You aint alone..i do that all the time in meetings….smh

  3. Mrs A

    June 16, 2015 at 9:37 am

    Isio you are the best. Biko i can like to fake it before the “place” starts to overheat like a bad radiator and dear hubby is not ready to stop, especially when I am not in the mood and the man wants to use kpenshing to kill me, of cos i go just lock up after the fake arrival, but i almost got caught once o, i cannot come and die

    • Authentic Sunshine

      June 16, 2015 at 5:31 pm

      I have laughed out loud in my life….but this…this is all shades of crazy rib cracking. Isioooooohhh just kiii miii for my mother. From the writing style to the message. Why though??? Why do African struggle with orgasm. Can we thrash this issue and share tips abeg.

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:05 pm

      Africans Struggle with orgasm? Do we? I don’t think so; rather I think we’re just like every other wo(men) in the world. That is why faking an orgasm is is an art that must be learnt and mastered by a woman before any Arnold Shwashnigger kills her with ‘gbenshing’. Just like Isio said; the length of the lovemaking or sex is not necessarily equal to a woman’s satisfaction. Sometimes, hubbys and bfs just don’t want to understand that thier ladies don’t feel up to it. And that is when ‘faking it’ is key for the survival of the pussy

  4. T.Girl

    June 16, 2015 at 9:37 am

    LOL this cracked me up, very funny but TRUE, some guys do think they know it all, I have faked it before because NO2 above happened, and trust me .. it hurts but I told him afterwards and we talkd about it and I told him things he wasn’t doing right and he actually apologised, some guys are all about themselves, leaving d babe behind and to avoid stuffs like dis the man has to know her turn on spots and how she likes it.

    • Lotana

      June 16, 2015 at 3:46 pm

      Yes o, some bobos can be sensitive. That was how one was playing me like guitar. I was so frustrated l told him l want to wee. Na so relationship take end. You don’t know what u ar doing, yet you dey form sensitive on top. Nonsense

  5. Alem

    June 16, 2015 at 9:40 am

    Bwahahahaha! LOL! Really like this article and I have been guilty of this.Main reasons are 1,2 and 3 as listed above. Sometimes too its so I dont hurt bobo’s feelings.

  6. Scared Homosapien

    June 16, 2015 at 9:41 am

    I have faked and will continue to fake orgasms with my partner, though not always, sha. Some days are not it and you want to do and just sleep off, but still manage to make him feel like a spartacus.
    My dear, i can’t get bruised and walk around like a spaghetti becos i want to ‘come’ abi na ‘cum.

    • Debo

      June 17, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Which one be “waka lik indomie again. LMAO!!!

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 17, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      Walk like spaghetti! LMAO!..I hardly ever have to fake cause I know the angles I need to be poked at to come! If dude is taking time to come, I start talking mad dirty while using my hands as well as my other mouth to finish the work fast…it works after a few strokes

    • Danny

      July 5, 2015 at 10:01 am

      Are u kidding

  7. Ace

    June 16, 2015 at 9:42 am

    If she’ had an orgasm the juice will be all over! Just like sperm but less sticky. Why even worry if she does? If you’ve done a pretty good job through kissing and all that foreplay she’ll probably cum even before penetration. So if you don’t see no white sticky juice and she told you she came then you the fool. How many men these days even care about that? Looking for self glorification from that?

    • Neo

      June 16, 2015 at 10:37 am

      Women come from kissing? Akwukwo!

    • lovey

      June 16, 2015 at 11:23 am

      hmmm…. not all female orgasms come with ejaculates. in fact most women have never cum but have had orgasms.

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:07 pm

      Really? Abeg explain, I am taking notes

    • Dee

      July 26, 2016 at 9:54 am

      true true

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 7:29 pm

      Oh lord! Not everything you see in porn is real!

  8. Personal Signature

    June 16, 2015 at 9:42 am

    Isio, many of the girls on BN are young and single.

    This article presupposes everyone is involved in the act. In as much as we all have personal struggles we are fighting (no doubt), articles like this shouldn’t be encouraged.

    We are a product of everything around us including what we see, read, listen to and watch. Now that a single guy and single girl has read this, what do you think will be on their mind?

    For them to find someone to sleep with? For them to remember the sinful act of the past they had sought forgiveness for?

    Lets not completely throw away our morality into the Mediterranean sea like that. Plenty damaging and heart breaking stories of recent. Sometimes we need heart lifting, encouraging or at least neutral, though provoking articles.

    How can the youths get it right? Must sex be involved in relationships? A guy may be beclouded by the sex and marry the girl cos of that not cos he loves her. After the marriage, we come back to Toke & Maje kinda stories. Sex, orgasm…is just 1 aspect of relationship/marriage. There are many other aspects to it. A guy can go do one night stand without attaching any feelings to it….so this shouldnt be a subject matter given so much concentration

    Weldone

    • Personal Signature

      June 16, 2015 at 9:44 am

      Read what @Daizzy just said up there!

    • Daizzy

      June 16, 2015 at 10:16 am

      @Aunty self righteous, you know you had the option of not clicking the story and even going further to read and comment? You know right?

      Eh heh just incase you didn’t know! Sometimes I don’t get you guys!

    • Thatgidigirl

      June 16, 2015 at 10:26 am

      A lot of women on bella naija are married too, should they be neglected? When you opened a post titled “Faking Orgasms” what were you expecting, an article on how to speak in tongues?” Bella Naija is a well rounded website with something for everyone, they post everything ranging from gossip to inspiration….for the youth especially.

    • NIRA

      June 16, 2015 at 10:45 am

      “an article on how to speak in tongues?” LMAO!!!!

    • Bow down

      June 16, 2015 at 11:36 am

      Was the pun intended? Lol

    • Hadassah

      June 16, 2015 at 12:46 pm

      Hahahahahahahahahaha…@speaking in tongues….. Falls off chair from Laughter…
      @Personal Signature… You had the option of not clicking and reading ‘Biko”
      After enjoying the article… You now wanna form with your comments

    • Lois

      June 17, 2015 at 11:56 pm

      Buhahahahaha……”…what were you expecting? How to speak in tongues?…”hehehehe

    • Neo

      June 16, 2015 at 10:45 am

      Na waaaaa ooooo. So all it takes for one to return to sinful acts is to read an article about faking orgasms? If your desires are that easily triggered then you shouldnt even be on the internet. If you see the title and still read the article then you alone are responsible for whatever desires come up. Please let us chill with this self righteousness, you are responsible for controlling what gets into your own consciousness biko.

      While i am on the matter can we just let Toke rest! Her issues being dragged into every publication. Buhari says NNPC has multiple accounts. Oh thats probably how Toke’s husband has multiple girlfriends. You are criticising Isio for writing an article on orgasms in a world of single people, yet you are speaking on a marriage you know nothing about from the comfort of your keyboard.

    • Bayowilson

      June 16, 2015 at 3:46 pm

      Ahahahaahaa! This comments are really making my day. 100 comments in just a short while, wow! i have a lot to burn gala with.

    • Mohammad

      June 16, 2015 at 10:47 am

      Where will all this stop? Very soon we will be advocating dress standards and hijabs will become compulsory because exposing hair will cause “the youth” to sin. I’m laughing in Ugandan broken at this parody of your comment.
      Who needs ISIS when the Nigerian morality police are about?

    • Ann

      June 16, 2015 at 10:59 am

      Oh God, shut up! You’re not the morality police. It’s not isio’s responsibility to raise your kids. If you look the article and it’s not for you, waka pass! Obviously it’s for a lot of people.

    • whocares

      June 16, 2015 at 11:02 am

      OMG. Calm the feck down! Many people on BN are also married and can relate to this, and many young girls on BN have a frolicking sex life that will put these married women to shame. So let us all calm down. Young people are not so influenced, and if you happen to be, then there is something seriously wrong with this generation. I am a young lady. Do I have plans to go and fake orgasm? No! Do I have plans to yansh in the nearest future? 😀 (that one is for my pocket) Do I enjoy reading everyone’s opinion and coming down from my “may gods never let me fake an orgasm” high horse? YES! Their experiences are eye opening for a lady that has little experience in these matter.
      Must sex be involved in a relationship? No! Bet if you are seeing someone you are into, na so body go dey do you one kain two kain. So it has to be discussed. It is not a taboo. Our bodies, and sexual experiences should not be hidden. Let the young girls learn too that if they find the uncle and he wants to panel beat their “toto” communication is not always the key. Sometimes faking it will preserve the peace. So please, ma wa fi ti e di emi lowo o, i am learning.

    • Bayowilson

      June 16, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      @whocares……………………. Ahahahahahaaaa! Bad girl.

    • bola

      June 16, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Its actually kind of difficult this days to get guy that’s ready to stay without sex being single since bcos of that. I just want to settle down but it seem every body want to test before marriage. Rubish people

    • chee

      June 16, 2015 at 11:43 am

      My dear don’t mind them ooo,keep urself for your own self esteem,one day d deserving man will come and u’ll be glad u did,dont drop ur standards for riff raffs so u don’t wallow in regret!

    • Personal Signature

      June 16, 2015 at 11:46 am

      My dear, no it is not because of that you are still single.
      I am a guy and can tell you that guys go after girls for different reasons
      If a guy likes you enough to marry you, he wouldn’t say bcos you didn’t give in he would back off.
      Don’t be deceived dear. Many are just after the pants. Those guys that came your way and left because you didn’t sleep with them weren’t meant to be yours. You know how many girls they have slept with all in the name of i want to marry you? What if you give in and they still run away-double tragedy right?

    • ACE

      June 16, 2015 at 1:13 pm

      Am telling darling. Don’t mind them, don’t compromise too. It will all be worth it at the end.
      Back to Isio #idonlaughdie

    • Bayowilson

      June 16, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      If you stay strong enough to still keep yourself intact till the right man comes, you would be glad. I meet my girlfriend while she was struggling with low self-esteem because she’s losing guys for refusing to zip down. She’s now happy with the kind of man she has now (ME), being the best of all the guys to her in all ramifications as she always say. Have been holding on too for so long. We are getting married soon and we are happy about our sexuality. Can’t imagine my so clean valuable pen*s inside just one yeye person vjay. For what?

    • Evanescence

      June 19, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      Don’t worry Bola. I think you will meet the right man one day. Before I started to date my husband, we had been friends for a few months. When he told me that he would like for us to start dating, I explained that I didn’t have a problem with that but that I wanted to save sex for after I was married. He said he was fine with that and that he was actually proud of me for standing by my beliefs. We dated for 3 years before we got married, he stayed true to his word and didn’t pressure me for sex. We didn’t have sex until our honeymoon. Now we have a really great sex life. He told me later (after we were married) that he did not feel the need to pressure me for sex bc as at the time I first told him that I wanted to wait, he already knew that he wanted to marry me and so why walk away from a relationship with me bc of that when if things went according to plan, he could have a lifetime of sex with me? Don’t get me wrong, we both struggled with trying to control ourselves during that period and it even created some friction between us on a couple of occasions. But the bottom line was that he chose to wait for me because he respected my views and feelings and he wanted to marry me. So, it is not impossible. Be encouraged.

    • Iris

      June 16, 2015 at 11:51 am

      Actually, it is a choice. If a single person reads it and does whatever it is you think they’re not supposed to do, they have made a personal choice and that’s their decision. They don’t have sense to scroll past when they see the title? In this world you are responsible for your own life decisions. Believe me, if you read the article and start having sex before marriage because of it and Jesus comes down smack in the middle of you screaming your way into ecstasy, He wont be looking for Isio to judge on your behalf. Besides, there are married people commenting too.

    • cindy

      June 16, 2015 at 12:34 pm

      Hello dear. I’m a youth o but nothing in this article makes me want to run and have sex. If this article affects anyone that much, the person is the one with the issues o. In fact, I laughed through this and it’s actually an eye-opener. Maybe it’s just me but this is far from stimulating. Not with all the silhouette, blaze and harlequin I read as a teenager.

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:18 pm

      @PersonalSignature: You should bear to heart too that there are numerous married people on this platform seeking to know a thing or two that will better their lives and marriages. It is better to look a the topic and avoid the content because they may likely ‘corrupt’ you or other singles on the platform. Personally, I have chosen not to read many articles published on BN because I feel or felt they may not be edifying so I advise single s or other sensitive persons to avoid the content and move on to other topics that may be okay for their minds. I have 3 sisters very close in age and 2 out of 4 chose not to read the ‘Mills and Boons’, ‘Temptations’ and ‘Jackie Collins’ those day to avoid being polluted while the other 2 had dozens and dozens of those novels right in the room we all shared growing up. They chose thier Biology text books and John Grisham at most. It is called discipline.

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 7:31 pm

      So do you run out and buy maggi everytime you see the add on tV?

    • Daniel

      June 17, 2015 at 6:33 am

      Abeg stop deluding yasef, sex is so important that issues of sex have the potential to rend a home. We should not in the name of morality hide ourselves from the truth, and if I recall properly the ladies in the article are married. Understanding Sex and communication will go a long way to help the future marriages of the young and single ladies (and guys) you are so concerned about. I have watched the issues of sex disrupt and destroy the family of a close relation (an Uncle – who is a Pastor). When it comes to Sex education, let’s leave “morality” out, it would only stop you becoming a better you.
      I believe the issue of sex mastery is a very prickly issue for almost every man( or guy), no man wants to be told he unable to satisfy his woman , we all don’t want to be told we are otondos, but the truth is almost everything we guys know about sex, most of us got it from unorthodox sources and it turns out, most of it is partly or totally wrong. I guess the best thing for every man is to know his woman, study her like a 3 unit course and listen to her (what and what works or doesn’t work for her) like you are at a seminar you paid millions to attend (which in some cases, some probably did).

    • Madam Zero Patience

      June 17, 2015 at 8:22 am

      Holier-than-thou BS like this is why women find it hard to enjoy sex. Why do you have to bring your judgement here? Clearly the readers of her blog are adults and pre-supposing that this article will make someone go “looking for someone to sleep with”, is not only insulting to the readers but demeaning as well. As per everyone indulges in the monkey-see, monkey-do behaviour abi? And we don’t have sense? Anyone who reads an article like this and goes off to find someone to sleep with (hilarious mental image there by the way), was not raised well. Can your judgement and don’t blame a well-meaning blog post for deficiencies in society and lousy parenting. Please and thank you.

      TLDR: Aunty, please park well. Oshey.

    • correct

      June 17, 2015 at 6:06 pm

      cosigned.

  9. Taiwo

    June 16, 2015 at 9:43 am

    “The whole thing was so marathonic, the fore-play non-existent. PLUS Oga Spartacus had taken so long to arrive that not only had her muscles gan-kpa, her legs were shaking so violently – it felt like as if their bones would dislocate from their joints any second.”

    Im laughing like a loon here!! Isio will not kill me!!!

  10. Mixed Race

    June 16, 2015 at 9:44 am

    Looooooooool.. I have been in that situation o. In fact ehn, when Oga decides to get his acrobatic game on (especially after taking a bottle or 2 of Orijin), i become sore. ?I always have to beg him to stop. Biko, I can’t come and die. Most of the time, I have my satisfaction but he doesnt so the pounding doesnt stop until he gets it. The only good thing is that when I say im sore he stops to continue another time. I have faked with previous relationship but with my husband i have never faked.

    • Bow down

      June 16, 2015 at 11:36 am

      Origin for the Friggin WIN!

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      Really that drink helps with sex drive for men? Choi

  11. Taiwo

    June 16, 2015 at 9:46 am

    But seriously, I’ve had to fake it sometimes for peace’s sake, otherwise gbege go happen and his ego will be majorly bruised.

  12. FinchleysFinest

    June 16, 2015 at 9:50 am

    I wish there’s a sex shop people (especially) men can go to for practicals…(Not necessarily for those men with extra abilities to satisfy their WIVES) But for the one suffering in bed..

    Loads of sexual problems in Marriages nowadays…..

  13. xxx

    June 16, 2015 at 9:50 am

    i have faked it b4 o, i was too dry and becoming sleepy and oga dint seem to be cuming anytime soon, so i faked the thing…you should have seen the proud smile on his face, my inner goddess shook her head. my only regret was that i dint fake it earlier coz the next morning i was sore.

    • Teris

      June 17, 2015 at 12:06 pm

      OMG!! LOL!!! “…you should have seen the proud smile on his face, my inner goddess shook her head….”

  14. le coco

    June 16, 2015 at 9:51 am

    haaaaaa isio wont kill someone this tuesday morning… choii.. faking it sha!!!! to add to your list tho.. some women fake it to spare the partner.. some men get genuinely hurt nd discouraged that they r unable to satisfy their woman.

  15. Mandem

    June 16, 2015 at 9:52 am

    While i would love my lady to come all the time i don’t really bother myself with what i cannot control. I just look out for a few things. If my babe is wet then i go on a little longer. If she isn;t then i dont take so long else she would be sore. Also the unspoken clues like rubbing on my man nipples excessively can mean that she wants me to do already and i comply jejely. I will not come and go and kill myself, I am not Trey Songz.

    • Tru

      June 17, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      “Come and go and -” “Not Trey Songz” EL-OH-Frigging-ELLLLLLL”

    • trey

      June 17, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      Ewo tu ni trey songs ..I.laugh in Swahili

  16. Chinma Eke

    June 16, 2015 at 9:54 am

    Rotfl! Isio! Its an early Tuesday morning!

  17. Californiabawlar

    June 16, 2015 at 9:54 am

    Ah ah! This one should get the Bellanaija men out of the woods….come and tell us about your Sango oko Oya skills o! Hian! I join Isio’s laugh in Tanzanian pidgin….

    I think women are born to know how to fake it…my last full make out session (making out lasan o) was filled with fake moans. A whole totori body like me! The guy was just cluelessly doing my twins anyhow….as I was ‘moaning’, I come dey ask myself, babe, what is this? Why are you doing this? These sounds don’t match what you’re feeling….but I couldn’t stop, it’s like I had been preprogrammed to provide that soundtrack/background music ??? ….it’s not like you can get up halfway through an intimate session and say, “yo bro! Whatever you’re doing is not werking for me, time to pack up and go” hehehe…but these things can be very frustrating sha, especially if you don’t get around much….you now come mess up a sister’s carefully preplanned carnal session….You mean I have to ask God for forgiveness for this?!

    Anywhoozies, while I doubt I’ll need it as I said I think faking it COMES 😉 😉 naturally to women, I shall judiciously follow this thread and take notes on how to improve my acting skills…. I trust my Bellanaija fam to deliver quality scripts 😀

    • T.Girl

      June 16, 2015 at 10:13 am

      Babe your very very funny !!!!!! am laughing like I want to fall off my chair, you just made my day

    • Ocean Beauty

      June 16, 2015 at 10:42 am

      I been think say na only me fake pass.
      Some guys will pound and pound so tay the little lily will look like 100 naira kpomo. In fact you will be so afraid to urinate.
      Babe, am here to please you. leave the pleasing me to myself.
      BN, una for post this kind topic for evening na………

    • Taiwo

      June 16, 2015 at 10:44 am

      Lmaooooooooo!!! Sango Oko Oya Skills!

    • NIRA

      June 16, 2015 at 10:48 am

      I’m laughing soo hard!!! You’re just hilarious, and I completely understand the scenario.

    • whocares

      June 16, 2015 at 11:10 am

      LMAOOOO. ME TOO! I need to up my acting skills. I have such a low pain threshold which is funny cos I have some pretty painful piercings. But when it comes to it, and our uncle is doing our body anyhow I just start to twist away. The problem is, he thinks im twisting like snake because I enjoy it. And this is only making out!

    • Carliforniabawlar

      June 16, 2015 at 11:35 am

      hahahaha!! between the ‘panel beating toto’ comment up there and bros misinterpreting your twisting away like snake…you almost made me spit out the water I’m drinking!! lmao still!

    • Iris

      June 16, 2015 at 12:06 pm

      Lmao. I thought I was bad faking things for phone sex, but making out! He was all ‘Yea you’re feeling it baby. I love those noises you make…’
      Home girl was thinking ‘Ehn yes do and let me sleep abeg. I need to wake up and beat traffic to work tomorrow’ And this was me with no sexual experience ever. We gats stop this behavior; I’m starting to think it’s in-built like you said. However, I don’t plan to be suffering like that in the future. It will take some serious kind of love for me to say absolutely nothing and pretend while you beat your chest because in your mind you are an achiever.

    • whocares

      June 16, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      I agree! The next day I engineered the conversation to what women like and then I narrowed it down to what I liked or think I might like or not like (you cant be knocking things until you try them abi?) . Maybe full on lecture while it is happening is not the way to go, but sometimes I can like to grab the hand or direct things to suit me. And then the next day I will just direct the conversation to where I want to go.

    • Que

      June 16, 2015 at 12:40 pm

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA…….!… Absolutely died at “… you men I have to beg God forgiveness for this…..” sisteehhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

    • Easy n Gentle

      June 16, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      That line had me, LMAO!!!

    • Hadassah

      June 16, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      hahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      I cant even comment again…..
      Am just laughing silly here

    • Oma

      June 16, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      CB oooooooooo leave me abeg..you sef don join the rough handling twins crew…my dear i feel you, my own experience i con dey shout yessss…oooohhhhhh…. for just the twins and the fingers down south o…..before them kill me for my Mama…. i cannot come and go and die

    • Authentic Sunshine

      June 16, 2015 at 5:43 pm

      My dear am with on this one. Some of them are so poor…no point going for confession.

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:44 pm

      Thank God o didn’t read this piece at work. I would have landed myself in hot peppersoup. Everybody’s been forming busy with Oga breathing down our necks and for me to be laughing hysterically will mean i would have gotten extra loads of work to do. I am enjoying this gistsssss…?

    • Agro

      June 16, 2015 at 6:48 pm

      Hehehehehehe!!!! what will I do without my Bellanaija family.omg! This is so off topic but this 25yrs old geh here is very single and ready to mingle(godly way o). Chartered Accountant turned Agro entrepreneur. Amazing guys only pls send mail to [email protected].

  18. dazzle

    June 16, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Am a faker,been faking for 8 months now. Beginning to think it has got nothing to do with the bobo.

  19. penny

    June 16, 2015 at 9:58 am

    I have never had a penetrative/vaginal orgasm EVER in my life; so its self-service most of the time. I have faked orgasm countless times with my hubby, his cunulingus is lame, all I feel is saliva dripping through my anus, ewww, i fake it just to get him outta there. he is a great guy and a good father and once in a while we have great sex with lots of passion and am content he we share that bond my, no orgasm. I fake or masturbate.

    • Authentic Sunshine

      June 16, 2015 at 5:51 pm

      “Saliva dripping through my anus”….I go laff die today. BN ladies let’s just group cyber hug. We are just too funny and darn cynical.

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 7:53 pm

      As much as i want to laugh this just makes me sad. LOL. I would be depressed oloun!

  20. Thatgidigirl

    June 16, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Some of our naija men are like Nigerian police, they would get a confession out of you by hook or crook. If you mistakenly date the “panti or bar beach division”, ha ga kuru gi ihie tinker kuru pan, you must confess to an orgasm or that area would catch fire.
    Some women also fake their orgasms because they have become somewhat insatiable due to over reliance on toys, no flesh and blood can do it for them again. Before my friend packs her toothbrush to go on a trip, her “bullet” goes in first, and she’s married o. A lot of men do not realise that a larger percentage of women do not come from penetration but mostly from clitoral stimulation, plus the porn industry has created unrealistic expectations from men and women alike. I used to belong to the school of thought that you should not polish a guy’s ego by faking an orgasm, hold him accountable but then at the end of the day, your body and relationship may suffer….if he doesn’t give you bow legs or dislocate your hips, he would call you a nympho, or question your past.

    • Tika

      June 16, 2015 at 11:07 am

      Flesh and blood did not reveal this wisdom to you.
      You have spoken truth. Stuffed in your comment are like three complete topics that need to bee unraveled and discussed. The issue of insatiable desires, the issue of excessive dependency on toys and the issue of porn addiction and dependency.
      You are highly blessed Thatgidigirl.

    • Curious

      June 16, 2015 at 11:13 am

      May I ask the name and model of the said “Bullet”? 🙂 Help a sister out 🙂

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:46 pm

      Eeeeeeewoooooo! We got to be friends babe. You got me in stitches ?

  21. Fashionista

    June 16, 2015 at 10:01 am

    LMAOOOOO! That was funny. I have definitely faked an orgasm before for the reasons you mentioned, although I was scared I might get caught as I wasn’t sure I was “faking” it right lol..

  22. buhari's son

    June 16, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Some people shouldn’t be forming any holy holy here
    Isio has written the article already and nothing can be done about it.this article doesn’t affect any youth mind,anybody that will sin will surely sin with or without this article..youth of nowadays have even gone beyond this.we don’t want any form of preaching here ,I’m not yet married and I don’t see anything bad in this article ,if u aren’t okay with the heading pls don’t read it,the heading has given u the clue of what u will meet in the article..so no be my force
    People just use the word “moral” any how and they don’t know when it is really needed to be used.
    Isio good job jare
    As for me no babe can deceive me ,if u fake it I will surely know

    • Daizzy

      June 16, 2015 at 10:23 am

      Are you sure you ain’t my ex? Hehehheee cus I know an ex who swore no girl could fake with him. Oh well whatever makes him sleep well at night.

    • Babytohcute

      June 16, 2015 at 10:25 am

      Please how will you know?

    • khamila

      June 16, 2015 at 10:50 am

      tah!! bros you lie. you havent met me.

    • Tkum

      June 16, 2015 at 11:53 am

      chisos!! na competition now?

    • cristen

      June 16, 2015 at 10:53 am

      U lie, u can neva dictate a good fake. So just calm down with the’ nobody can decieve me iss’ . I bet if u ask ur woman,she may open up the truth on countless times she has done it.

    • Iris

      June 16, 2015 at 11:55 am

      ‘If you fake it I will surely know’
      Hahahahahahaha
      Hahahahahahaha
      I’m not done….haha hahaha hahaha
      Okay now
      Lol

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      Ta! A begi, goan sit down. Women are born to fake it. Nah today? Isio mentioned your type sef in the article. Sure your future wife will be nominated for the OSCARS of faking orgasm

    • minlovewtdcoco

      June 18, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      Yinmu…you have not met with the best

  23. miss Pynk

    June 16, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Forget what you think, every sexually active woman has faked a few if not a lot of orgasms. Sometimes its futile trying to explain to a partner that you didnt oragsm.

    Pynk360.com – a pair of shoes up this week

  24. Sweeties

    June 16, 2015 at 10:23 am

    LOL!… these comments got me rolling.. After faking it for the longest time possible, I decided to be honest with myself. If he’s in and I’m dry, I’d just beg him to stop (headgame is weak too). No orgasm for me, No orgasm for you. Having cuts during/ after gbeshing isnt the life I came here for. Now, He’s saying I dont find him attractive anymore. Because I decided to be truthful. Men and wahala. Communication is Important. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about…and yes, I find him extremely attractive but when I think of the pain, I just zone out. I cannot coman die.

    • magh

      June 16, 2015 at 9:52 pm

      i sometimes have that dryness you speak of.. try having lubes ..Ky Jelly.. it helps..A LOT

  25. Tk

    June 16, 2015 at 10:29 am

    If you think your underage girl is here reading this then I think you’re not doing a good job as a parent.
    Back to Isio, thanks for bringing this up. I think I need to step up my game because I think my babe is faking something for me thou not all the time

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 6:50 pm

      She loves you all the same

  26. mot

    June 16, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Lovely write up.not bad to fake it atimes.a man should pay attention to foreplay.tongue and fingers play good role. Be gentle wt ur woman also but some like it hard.

  27. sum1special

    June 16, 2015 at 10:40 am

    okay…my own case is somewhat different. I have never come abi cum…What advise do you have for people like me? i enjoy sex so much, a kiss alone has made me so wet…so i am not frigid or anything i just havent experienced orgasm whatsoever, i love and enjoy sex so much with maximum turn on. is it posible that there are some women who would never experience orgasm because they just cant? Mind you my bobo have tried everything but it still doesnt work. i cant have an orgasm…helpppp

    • Ann

      June 16, 2015 at 11:08 am

      Some women cannot ever orgasm, ever! Maybe you’re one of them. But these women are a small percentage, so hopefully you’re not one of them.
      Secondly, 75% of all women do not come through vaginal penetration. Yup! 75%!!! So oral sex and oral stimulation might be your best bet for an orgasm and next time you go see your gynecologist, bring it up to him.

    • Ocean Beauty

      June 16, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Bebe, you have hands, help yaself

    • Confuzzled

      June 16, 2015 at 5:02 pm

      In the words of the late, great Whitney Houston:

      Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of allllllll 🙂

    • whocares

      June 16, 2015 at 11:26 am

      Is it possible to enjoy sex as much as you do and not have a orgasm? (this is actually a legitimate question and I am curious as to the responses) You dont have to squirt all over the place to orgasm you know so long as you find it pleasurable which you do. For some people its just a slow release of tension. So if you have been with someone and felt the pressure build up and then releases, that is your orgasm o. In reality, all the screaming and fireworks does not necessarily happen. Or you could just go solo without your oga on top (literally. lool. see what I did there? ) and see what happens. Those are the best times to be fair. There is no performance anxiety, or audience etc.

    • loving this

      June 17, 2015 at 9:30 am

      lol @ all the screaming and fireworks… true though.

    • anonnnn

      June 16, 2015 at 4:27 pm

      while giving you ahead let your hubby stimulate your anus gently. it may sound dirty to you but that gave me my first orgasm and squirt. bodies maybe different but give this a try. and cutting masturbation for a while makes you more sensitive and easier to please

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 7:58 pm

      No one can make you orgasm if you haven’t orgasmed yourself.

      Get to know your own body. Find a quiet and safe place, if you live with others, treat yourself to a relaxing weekend alone in a hotel room. Get some wine, watch a romance move or read a book that will get you in the mood and start from there.

    • minlovewtdcoco

      June 18, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Hotel room kwa…on top orgasm…biko no be kingdom of God na…lool

    • UGO

      June 16, 2015 at 8:51 pm

      You and your partner can also apply the use of a vibrator to make it easier. For me the use of the vibrator/bullet (as called by some) with my hubby makes it faster and quicker to orgasm, while oral stimulation could take forever. But the important thing is that the goal is achieved. Also most women don’t squirt when they cum, but most would jerk.

  28. DAME

    June 16, 2015 at 10:41 am

    ISIO rocks all year long forever…see me laughing like a cow in the office.

    “He chook his whole head “there” and started revving up her engine. So determined was he to send her to heaven, he took it up a notch by jacking her (cough-cough) little lily with his teeth! He chopped the lily so teyyyyyyyy, it turned into a stone. No joke.
    There needs to be a manual for guys to learn head from…and they wud be bragging that their “head: game is strong…Guy…girls fake it half the time o…don’t be deceived or dismayed when we tell you the truth…learn learn learn , after all girls learn all the news acts and styles just for you.
    Am out

  29. khamila

    June 16, 2015 at 10:49 am

    sometimes these men think the longer they stay pumping makes them a strong man or spartacus as you call it.me sha,i dont hesistate to tell him to cum if i begin to feel any slight pain,dryness or tired. he can then proceed to pleasure me in another way till i cum.why would i wanna walk with my legs spread out cos im afraid to hurt his ego? abeg park well

  30. NIRA

    June 16, 2015 at 10:54 am

    @Thatgidigirl and @Californiabawlar will not kill me with laughter in this office. I guess every woman have had to fake either moaning or orgasm, usually cos the man is rearing to go and she is tired. I have done that too especially when he’s waiting for me before he climaxes and I’m tired or distracted sef.

  31. Teecee

    June 16, 2015 at 10:56 am

    guys fake it too…..

  32. honey

    June 16, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Hmm. This is the first time i am coming out to say this.
    I HAVE NEVER CUM DURING SEX.
    I love sex and yearn for it but I have never reached orgasm. like someone said, it is not about the orgasm sometimes, its the pleasure you derive during sex and i derive pleasure and soft tingling sensations.
    I tried to talk to my hubby, we both tried to get it on, I just end up being so sore and tired. About some years into marriage, I just learnt to fake it each time.
    And before someone start volunteering their self-proclaimed magic dick, i dont think its about the size because he is endowed, and he competes favourable when it comes to using it.
    But the good thing his, he is my one and only experience with sex, so i dont have a benchmark, as to how a good sex should be.
    Funniest part is that i reach the powerful O on my own. I don’t know how i discovered it, but i did. So whenever we finish and he is asleep , i just help myself and everybody is happy.

    • natu

      June 16, 2015 at 10:17 pm

      How about you teach him how to pleasure you. Communication is key. Ain’t nobody got time for wack sex!!!

  33. honey

    June 16, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Hmm. This is the first time i am coming out to say this.
    I HAVE NEVER CUM DURING SEX.
    I love sex and yearn for it but I have never reached orgasm. like someone said, it is not about the orgasm sometimes, its the pleasure you derive during sex and i derive pleasure and soft tingling sensations.
    I tried to talk to my hubby, we both tried to get it on, I just end up being so sore and tired. About some years into marriage, I just learnt to fake it each time.
    And before someone start volunteering their self-proclaimed magic dick, i dont think its about the size because he is endowed, and he competes favourable when it comes to using it.
    But the good thing his, he is my one and only experience with sex, so i dont have a benchmark, as to how a good sex should be.
    Funniest part is that i reach the powerful O on my own. I don’t know how i discovered it, but i did. So whenever we finish and he is asleep , i just help myself and everybody is happy.

  34. Pii

    June 16, 2015 at 11:09 am

    Try adding a vibrator a rabbit vibrator to the mix …. If. You won’t bring out ur mattress to dry to next morning

    • Tkum

      June 16, 2015 at 11:57 am

      lmaooooo

  35. chee

    June 16, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Hahahaha,i laugh In latin,my oga knows how to do the do but when he annoys me no mata what he does,i won’t come but to him it means rejection so he’ll try all he can to make d big O happen,sharp me go just sometimes fake it cos i’ve experienced all u mentioned and it’s not so funny cos naturally it took a while to match his strength and get used to “it”,not to talk of when he tries impressing me,chai na die be dat so I fake it sometimes so I can sashay to work in my heels d next day hehehe!

  36. frances

    June 16, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Hmmmmm, wr do I start from, why should I fake it, if I don’t feel up to it I will tell you o. Sex is very important oooo and I made sure my husband could give a good “Head” I no fit shout. Just the way couples discuss daily issues that is how I discuss my sexual needs with my husband cause I cant get it elsewhere na.

  37. Abyy

    June 16, 2015 at 11:22 am

    Isio of life!I have never come by penetrative sex before so yup i faked on that score just so whoever would get off the heck off me so i dont get sores..
    My Oga gives the best head and hand game!I would know because i have experienced a lot of terrible one’s who have literally chewed my clit off in all to get me to come.
    The men who swear women cant fake it on them just make me laugh in Hiddish because they are the one women fake it most on
    Women can fake for the whole world..no man should ever think he is immune to our faking ways….

  38. JAYNNE

    June 16, 2015 at 11:22 am

    LOL @ Tanzanian pidgin

  39. http://www.dakkylove.com/

    June 16, 2015 at 11:22 am

    This topic is truly cracking me up, and this comments wallahi …….eh the only thing i will add is when it comes to faking it Oscars are too small an award for women . if you have not faked it before don’t worry your time is coming it’s in built.

  40. Miss K

    June 16, 2015 at 11:23 am

    Thanks for this topic Isio… for as long as i cld remember i ddnt even know wat it meant for a lady to achieve orgasm but then i met this hausa boy that blew my mind away! its like he woke up the spirit of orgasm in me, since then i have known when and how to fake it. but thank God for my fiancee.. he is the best oh! i hvnt had less than 4 ‘real’ orgasms in any of our gbenshing session and i credit that to serious communication… before we started, he asked ‘how do u like it?’ nd i told him and he also did his own researchand the first time was fantastic but his head game wasnt there at all. afterwards, he asked how it was and i honestly told im the truth and then he asked me to show him around and how to go about it…. he accepted his errors and was willing to learn and since then its been amazing.

    the major issue with faking it is lack of communication…women have different thresholds for sex…. some like it hard and fast and they cnt cum other wise while some dnt even need penetration to achieve same… men need to communicate with the woman to know how she likes it and find out how to please her. some men need to be able to accept the fact that they are terrible at it, they need to put their ego aside and learn how to gbensh well

    another issue is the mindset… the man needs to have to mindset that pleasing the woman is the reason y they wana have sex…most guyz dont have that mindset and they are not particular about pleasing the woman and then it becomes long and painful anf the woman fakes it to get out of there….. what most men have failed to realise it that if u make it known to her that u wana please her, she is also going to ensure that she pleases u and u will have a mutually beneficial gbenshing session.some men need to be able to accept the fact that they are terrible at it, they need to put their ego aside and learn how to satify their women. they also need to swallow their pride when she say she doesnt cum but rather ask y and wat to do about it

    one more issue is that some people are just sexully incompatible and they need to accept that. some guyz are too big and some ladies cannot deal with a big sized guy and for others, the reverse is the case…the guy is too ‘small’ for her. some have veey high libido and some others have very low…u need to know if ur size and libido matches that of ur partner wch also stems from effective communication and honesty in these matters. i have a friend whose gf stopped giving bcos she complained of him being too ‘big’ for her and it was always too painful for her…. they eventually had to break up due to their incompatibility.

    please talk about this in every details and it will definitely improve the sex and ‘faking’ it will be non existent.

    my own two bits.

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 8:01 pm

      Chop knuckle. Communication is key!

  41. DiDi

    June 16, 2015 at 11:24 am

    As a proud PhD holder of Orgasmic Fakery,I insist it’s our right !must he pound me till I see stars?
    It’s an Ego thing with men …but I have to admit only my Oyibo boyfriend ever achieved the impossible…Naija men just assume you enjoy being pounded till you scream …for mercy.
    Team oyibo only here since then henceforth .if I wanna chopfrog I better chop the one with eggs Abeg.

    • xxx

      June 16, 2015 at 1:07 pm

      the only reason i wont try “”team oyinbo”” is coz most of dem are not cut…azzin circumcised. But i get that doesnt matter when it comes to getting an orgasm right?

    • BeGracious

      June 16, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      Team Oyinbo? Mbanu. ‘Hv Bn with one and that they are not cut closed dat chapter. Can’t be looking for what is not lost.

    • DiDi

      June 16, 2015 at 5:07 pm

      Don’t knock it till you try it…they trump in creativity and eagerness to please …..as for being uncut they take out time to peel back the foreskin and wash them selves I haven’t seen any nasty surprises yet ..bear in mind that by Oyinbo I don’t mean the retired geriatrics,Indians and Lebanese that abound in Lagos I mean the Caucasian guy who asks if he can hold your hand because you are someone he doesn’t want to hurt by making fast moves like asking when you will visit is house …cough! cough!

    • BeGracious

      June 16, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      @Didi, l schooled in the UK. Campus tinz. I can’t fit. I beg. Yes loving, creative etc but that thing na “food” Biko. There is no management.

    • oy

      June 16, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      @DiDi. oh noooo, you didnt just say that @must he pound me till i see stars? that’s hilarious.lolllll

    • Bae

      June 16, 2015 at 7:30 pm

      Adanna is that you?

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 8:12 pm

      Oh my! LMAO”…Naija men just assume you enjoy being pounded until you scream for mercy… Loooools?

  42. kacchiz

    June 16, 2015 at 11:33 am

    i concur wit u @miss k. my ex was too big dt i didnt enjoy sex at al not to talk of or the big o. though i regretted our break up but i keep saying atleast i didnt miss the sex. am not sure have had genuine orgasmic feeling…

  43. cheryl

    June 16, 2015 at 11:44 am

    hmmm, guilty ooo, i remebered a randavou wit a guy bck den, omo for ova 1hr dis guy didnt come, i was hurting badly, infact i wasnt feeling d sex at all, even himself was tired, he had to stop, i didnt cum, he also didnt, i was @least glad he stoped, den we slept, in d middle of d nyt, uncuu woke me up again and we continued, gusshh, i was almost crying, wen oga gave d awareness of him cumming i had to tell him, “yea i fink we r coming togther” omo na so i make orgasm sound oo, told him i was abt to come too, den faked it eventually, mio o le wa ku, i cannot comman gohan die,

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 8:03 pm

      OMG OMG OMG it was hard for me to read because of the abbreviated words but when i got it i just died!

    • Misi

      June 18, 2015 at 2:56 pm

      I just died of laughter!!!!! LMBOOOO!!!!

  44. Lady

    June 16, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Lube people… Invest in lube. I don’t have the patience to fake… If it’s not working at that moment, I speak out and we switch it up until the engine starts to humm. Mindset also helps with orgasm… As @miss k said, what works for one person might not work for anoda… Some ladies get orgasms from having their nipples sucked while some cum from sucking on their necks… We all have different erogenous spots so it takes getting to know your body and discovering those areas… Don’t always blame the man, a woman who knows her pleasure spots and communicates this to the man won’t have to fake it

  45. Takeseveralseats

    June 16, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Had to fake for 2 miserable years with my ex till I got fed up one day and ordered him to get off me. I sat him down, opened an erotica website for him to read. The dude was still clueless afterwards and just refused to improve. It got so bad I started sending not so subtle messages that i wasn’t pleased , like checking my facebook page while we were having miserable sex, yawning, asking him of he wasn’t done yet when he’d barely started. Each ordeal barely lasted 5 mins but it always wrecked my emotions and system. Resentment started setting in and we eventually had to call it off.

    Fast forward 2 years later and I met this dude who can go for hours!!! Babanla compensation!!! No more faking orgasm.

  46. William

    June 16, 2015 at 11:58 am

    Not to ruin the game or anything, but a faked orgasm can easily be spotted from an arched back. When a woman really cums, the nervous system makes it impossible to arch her back. She is more likely to lift her upper body is a straight posture. And after her orgams, the tremor carries on for a bit. And ladies, y’all need to calm down, guys fake it too #betterasksomebody…. But from what I hear, naija guys are slacking seriously with foreplay. No dirty talking, choking, spanking, biting, ear licking, blindfolding, role playing, sensual movements, even the head game I hear is nothing to write home about. Too much porn, too little erotica, almost no reading. That being said, a lot of women are also repressed when it comes to sex. It isn’t always the guy’s fault. This is just too much for a Tuesday morning, but the rate of comments speaks volumes of Nigerian perversion. Later una go enter church lmao it is well

    • Californiabawlar

      June 16, 2015 at 1:20 pm

      Haaaa!! Bros! What did we carry, what are you throwing? Choking ngwanu?! If bros shoke me and my survival instincts literally kick in and i jab him in the nuts nko? But I must confess, your methodology sounds pretty interesting….hmmn.

      And still on this faking matter…not to bust your bubble bruh, summary is just that if a woman had ever had a real orgasm, she can reenact it….simple muscle memory…in fact one of my friends told me about this one time she almost ‘arrived’ just by faking it….by the time she was doing all the gyrating, clenching and arching, the great memories actually got her turned on….ya see? The more you see, the less you know.

      BUT with all this ya erotica talk, maybe you are one of the elite few who always get the job done….in that case, a very victorian curtsy to you sur 🙂

    • William

      June 16, 2015 at 4:06 pm

      Lol, I don’t think any man is 100% a sex god that can command orgsam at any moment from any woman. If I was like that I would find employment as a gigolo lol. I’m just saying it is worth it to invest in learning about the psychology of sex and female anatomy. Women are generally very mental with sex. It usually takes more than just in and out movements to really get a woman to get with the program. Also fantasies differ depending on the woman, some don’t even know what they like until you do it. For all the female prudish behavior we see, 50 shades was the highest selling book when it dropped. Women also spend more in sex shops. The general machoistic and egotistic tendencies of African men isn’t always great in bed, though that it what some women like. Of course you can’t always tell when a woman fakes it, but if you know what to watch for, you can catch some. Not that great sex cannot exist without out an orgasm. In fact making that the sole goal of sex kinda kills the whole point. Some babes have even told me that they have been with guys that will refuse to take guided instruction. She will say faster, the man will go slower to prove he is in charge. One can only try to be as good as they can be, but at least we owe that much to ourselves. I had a Ghanaian friend that will completely ignore the clit and be licking the vulva in the name of giving head. The story girls have told me about guys that really think they are awesome but don’t know the half of it is just too funny. You know in every man’s mind they are the best thing since sliced bread. Even some women couldn’t give a blow job to save their life, so it’s a two way street. Men are just a lot more physical so no do no do, we go find way to arrive at destination lol

      P.s the general concept of a feeling of mortality increasing libidio is a scientific fact. It is evolved from the need for procreation to prevent extinction. No one will seriously choke you to lose air, but a reasonably manly grip around your neck can trigger the same feelings. Again, not for everyone, but still a thing very wildly practiced around the world….Odi egwu

    • Person

      June 16, 2015 at 9:45 pm

      A little choke never hurt anyone. Not the ‘I am killing you type of choke’, but the other one. 😉

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 17, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Get someone you trust to choke you, while he’s moving in you the right way…it’s magical especially when you’re about to come…If he’s talking dirty to you at the same time, you will ruin his sheets…

    • yeancah

      June 18, 2015 at 5:31 am

      Omg your first line tho… Kila gbe kile ju….. Lmao

    • krasavitsa

      June 16, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      Hmm hmm hmm. William William *wipes sweat from forehead*, you Sir, had me at “….dirty talking, choking, spanking, biting……..” Now that’s what I’m talking abt! I told my ex once that I wanted bondage sex and d nigga looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy. Thank God for my FWB, when I ask for something my ex would have termed crazy, this nigga just looks at me with an evil glint in his eyes and gets to work. And it goes without saying that, cumming is not a problem with d new dude.

    • whocares

      June 16, 2015 at 4:56 pm

      Your smut collection, *wipes brows* and calmly walks away.

    • UGO

      June 16, 2015 at 9:05 pm

      @Williammoore permit me to differ a bit, I do arch my back when cumming, because I go through some seconds of serious jerking when it’s ongoing. But I totally agree with the tingling sensation afterward, that to me is almost like a second orgasm LOL! I am so happy I learnt to love my body and discovered that penetration never does it for me, I simply just communicated this fact to my then BF now hubby.
      Also I agree that most women/Nigerian women are sexually repressed especially by the society, It took me letting go of all those ideas and letting myself love my body, that I discovered the best place that guarantees me my orgasm.

    • xxx

      June 17, 2015 at 9:46 am

      @william i remember i once told my bf(now ex) to choke me, blinfold me and spank me, i told him to act like he was going to rape me…the guy just looked at me like “bitch you crazy”… anyway now i’m celibate, been celibate for more than a year…hallelujah

  47. cristen

    June 16, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    I ve learnt dat foreplay also brings on orgasm, but it has never been d case for me. I ve neva had sex cos am afraid of pain, ve tried plenty times wit my soft-hearted bobo who is ‘BIg & TAll’ over dere, but weneva my ‘legs starts shakin violently & pain & tears in my eye,bobo stops. Now all we do is foreplay & he alwez gets hevenly “MAssaGe” dere frm me. But notin ever happens wit me. So is penetration d only way to ORgasm?

  48. Noms

    June 16, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    Oniovo, today na today.
    BN Fam, seeeee comments in barely 3hrs of post….
    Articles on Sex, Marriage,Relationship plus celebrity badnews can get comments sha.
    I hail ooooo
    The comments had me laughing like I was watching a comedy show.

    I have been involved in heavy petting but no penetration, (I have asked for forgiveness for the past and maybe future). Sometimes I have this shaky shaky feeling in the process…naim be cum or go?
    I hope to enjoy sex when I get married and I will tell hubby dearest how e dey do me( I will not come and die,like other people have said).
    My Pastor’s wife ones said she is a traffic warden in bed so na so I go do am too.
    Currently not in a relationship, but I met a guy that likes me and I like too. We talked about not involving sex and all. He agreed and went further to say he doesn’t really have a problem with not penetrating…which is good for the moment but bad for the future ooo. I have marked him bad for now except maybe we talk about it again and I didn’t understand what he meant. If it is what I am thinking, i nor gree . Abi is it suppose ok? Its not jor.

    • Ada

      June 16, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Heavy petting while you wait for marriage. Nne na so e dey start, then the cookie go crumble. All that touching can relax your morals. Na experience dey talk here o. Na so I start then after a while I said you know what make we finish work.

      Don’t worry, if you like the heavy petting, after your first time (2 or 3 times after) you will like and want the main event too (my experience here too). And yes, the guy has to chook the stuff in, so mark bad for the current guy until you are sure that he can chook it in when the time comes. You will want it by then.

    • Sikira Oni Ranu

      June 16, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      Don’t worry. Let him enter but tell him he shouldn’t move! (Major side eye) You had better not play with fire. If you are not ready to gbensh don’t go there o.

    • Asgrl

      June 16, 2015 at 8:06 pm

      I just peed myself!

  49. mrs chidukane

    June 16, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    Reading these comments, lol. Water is a very good lubricant for all those complaining of dryness. Some lubes break down condoms and reduce their efficiency. Some also kill off sperm for those trying to get pregnant. When you experience dryness during sex, stop and put some water generously around your lower and inner lips and you’re good to go.

    • Ann

      June 16, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Haba Mrs Chidukane, how water come be good lubricant na, water wey go make the whole thing dey sound like una dey fight down there? bikonu my sister diaris God ooo.
      To the topic, faking orgasm is one of womens oldest trick in the world to get men to get off them, who never fake never start before…come and see where babes will be begging, pls come, pls come..hehehhehehe chai!

    • Colour Purple

      June 16, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      Water?????? Don’t think so, from my experience trying to do the do in water, water causes friction o! So unless u want to walk like you have a boil down there, use a water based lubricant instead.

    • mrs chidukane

      June 16, 2015 at 3:16 pm

      My sisters I didn’t say you should create kainji dam in there. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.i actually saw it on an Amazon review of all places , tried it and it works.

    • Prec

      June 16, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      HAHAHAA Aunty, where on earth did you hear this from?

    • MC

      June 16, 2015 at 9:39 pm

      On Amazon apparently! LOL!!

  50. HELP!!!

    June 16, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    Im a very sexual person and have been sexually active for a few years,I could go on without sex for months and I will be okay.A few times I mastubate not because of urge/addiction just when I felt like doing it(once or twice a month).
    Two years ago I was mastubating and GBAM!!I tot I had a stroke(uncontrollable spasms and then pure bliss all over the body with tingling in every nerve)I was confused at first until I realised I just had my FIRST ORGASM,even though I was sexually active I never experienced something like that.I started exploring more about my body through mastubation n every time I got an orgasm,I also got orgasm through sex.
    I’m married now with twin sons,and the problem is from that day I discovered orgasm is like I want it all d time.I’m always horny and even though my husband makes me orgasm most times we make love I always want more(he said I have a supercharged libido as I m always horny)and that he likes it.I think am addicted to orgasm because I experienced this supercharge libido from the first day I got orgasm.I want to reduce my libido because i think am addicted,the least orgasm I get a day is one and I will still want more,when I don’t get more my toes and fingers starts shaking and I feel so uneasy,and I have to mastubate to ease myself.I’m so in need of HELP as how to control it and not get(shaking of my toes and fingers when I need one)

    • whocares

      June 16, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      Toh! erm direct all that sexual energy into work maybe? Like if you do things, you just forget you are horny as you are busy, and then when you stop working and you are ready you can (I have always wanted to say this line in a BN comment) RELEASE THE KRAKEN! (not that I think the vajayjay and our feelings are monstrous) wo, let me carry go.

    • Menoword

      June 17, 2015 at 12:10 am

      HELP, try starting first before your husband joins you. Some solo or duo play to make you come once or twice, and then you both can get your freak on. Some people only really get started after their first orgasm

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 17, 2015 at 7:01 pm

      Start working out…i’m like you…My appetite for sex is crazy so I exhaust myself at the gym so I don’t kill someone’s son..

  51. Jojononz

    June 16, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    BN fam…..y’all are cray cray, I have been laughing so hard that am peeing in my pant, Una no get chill @ all anyway omo girl here has been learning cos some have no idea what happens in d female genital …….i bin think say na only me dey fake ooo, I fake 4 all d reasons isio mentioned above, because I cannot come and die ontop the matter. Thumbs up oniovo, isio de la gbo gbostika, u talk dis one ooo, u really talk am. #mo shinatu meta fun awon goons mi ni BN gbosa!!!# abeg keep the comments rolling in while I grab a bottle of chilled zobo. One love

  52. Mr. W's wife!

    June 16, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    I’ve faked orgasms before oh. Plenty times sef! But my last ex always knew when I faked it! The clenching of my kegels around his penis and the “yummy” (his words) gush of warm fluid always drove him crazy. So if he didn’t get that warm gush especially, boy knew I wasn’t on the wavelength and took pains to get me there or to at least find out if something was on my mind., And boy, V was a very patient lover. He could turn me on from kissing and get me to come with his fingers before even entering me. Sometimes, he’d finger me and get me to come and just leave it there. Leaving me all warm and content for the whole day. Very selfless. Sex was never about him alone. He did everything I needed sexually, all I had to do was ask! The only thing he drew the line at was 69, which was okay seeing as 69 would be a bit awkward given the height difference. And skype sex! Haa! He’d make me strip, and touch myself, telling me where to touch and whispering in that husky voice till I came, he’d show me how hard I got him and jerk off for me! The sex was perfect. Alas! We broke up. I became celibate till marriage and believe me, na baba nla mistake.

    Le hubster is so very selfish, even in sex. And very ignorant about the female body. Always groping me through my pants. So I say dude, stop groping me and touch me. The last time he was rubbing that corner between my thighs and I said “what part of me exactly are you touching”, he said my private part! I said no such thing as a private part between a man and his wife so where are you touching, he said my vagina! I said that’s not where my vagina is, so I put his hand under my thong and showed him where to go, telling him soft touches! That’s how bros went all gangster on me, practically poking his hand in my urethra! Abeg, I just pushed him away before person go give me VVF by handjob. Pschew. I tell dude, suck my nipples, he just puts his lips there and grunts to himself. I touch my nipples when he takes his mouth off and there is no wetness or moisture whatsoever. Is it the fact that he will be trying to slide his hairy penis into my dry vagina and I say baby I’m not wet, his response is you will soon be wet. I just smile and think of happier times to get some wetness before his hairy dry thing will tear my dry vagina. I can even time his thrusts by his breathing. Breath in while shaking waist around, breath out while thrusting in with head beside mine, elbows pressing the side of my breasts and stale breath wafting into my nose. And he will be thrusting in and out of dry V for like 15 minutes. I say “baby come for me”, he says I’m enjoying it, I don’t want to stop! We only have sex at night, with the lights off and if I initiate sex, bobo go just form sleep or busy, only to wake me up at night or early morning with his groping hands. Na only missionary position we dey do. I’m even to scared to give head before someone will accuse me of cheating! I don suffer. IF na boyfriend dey do like that, we for don break up tey tey! But as na husband, what’s a girl to do?

    Point is, before you fake the big O for a man, you need to be sure that dude even cares about your pleasure that he won’t come if you don’t; or that he cares about his performance such that you need to stroke his ego by faking it. But when you are married to someone who doesn’t even send you at all, why would you fake it? I just lie there and make up shopping lists in my head till he is done. If good sex is important to you, never marry a man without being sure that he knows his way around the female body or that he is at least willing to learn how yo make you happy. If not, na one chance be that.

    • Agro

      June 16, 2015 at 4:14 pm

      Your story touched me in ways no other did… I dont even know what to say. Will reply fully later…

    • Asake

      June 16, 2015 at 4:44 pm

      I honestly feel bad for you, I can’t even bear the thought of what you are going through. Please dear built up courage and talk to him about this. You are already resenting him judging from the sound of your write up above. Tell him exactly how you feel about your sex life…..Very unfair for a woman to go through this for the rest of her married life. If your selfish husband is not listening please buy sex toys and with your fingers, help and enjoy yourself. The joke will always be on him……

    • BuharisSideChick

      June 16, 2015 at 4:48 pm

      Aya W, sooo Sorrry. Unfortunately, you cannot tell your family you want to leave. How? The first question is does he beat you? Are you hungry? Does he not give u money? Does he put his cheating in your face? Is he not a good father? That thing is not food. I BEG, IT IS FOOD. Bad performance breads resentment. The society is not kind to women who play away.

      Naija women been suffering since 19gbogboro. I will rather remain single than put up with bad sex. When you know good sex, you can never go back.

    • BuharisSideChick

      June 16, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      “Breed”

    • Jane Public

      June 16, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      Oh dear, I am so sorry. Mine was the reverse. How a man can be so amazing, outside of bed, and be that terrible, I don’t understand. He was such a great guy, loved him to bits, he was my first. That experience scarred me for life and I stayed celibate with everyone else afterwards because I thought, everyone was just lying and great sex was a myth. All that stopped when Le Boo and I got engaged and I thought Whoa, so it isn’t a myth. Father forgive me, but when i found out i was pregnant, for a few seconds, I thought what is this now. I waited for this long and I am not even going to have the time to enjoy this new found experience. This baby is just going to be cutting my show. Errrrrr, pregnancy sex is even better. My word. Second trimester, I thought I was going to kill him. Missy’s head has engaged and the man is afraid of hurting her, so nothing for me. Mschew. This baby should do quick and come out, so that my office can reopen for business biko. All these comments have gotten a heavily pregnant woman horny.
      If you permit me, I think you should take time out and talk to him about it, outside of when you guys are getting busy. Leave subtle hints, not teasing hints. Rub his back when he is sitting down, or around the house, not to initiate sex or anything, just to almost get him stimulated, then once you notice that, walk away. Tease him. When you are cooking, tell him to rub your back, or massage your neck, and let it proceed from there, the intention isn’t for it to lead to sex, or you will spook him, since he only associates sex with the bedroom, so you are going to have to get crafty about it.
      Deliberately drop something or pretend to drop something on your hand when he isn’t looking and tell him to massage the pain away. Spontaneously kiss him for no good reason, like he is travelling for 1 year and you are going to miss him. If he asks why, tell him nothing, you just love him that’s all. If you don’t have any kids yet, sit on his lap while watching tv and just have him rub your back and then your boobs, guide him gently without saying a word, let your hands take the lead, with his, below yours.
      Tease him a lot at home by leaving your top half undone, make him zip up your dress every time you get dressed, and zip it down too, and when he does, hold his hands and direct him around your body. Don’t go straight to your vajayjay immediately, or you’ll scare him off. Your husband has to see you as a sexual being outside the bedroom, so educate him gradually and let him see how much you enjoy it, all the while making it look like it was his idea.
      Feed him well one evening, the kind to almost stupor, and initiate sex on the sofa, his brain will be too groggy to kick in and object, then start to work on his inhibitions. People think only women are prudes. Some men are too, and girlfriends have never called them out on their BS, so they fake it. You are his wife, you OWN his body, take charge of it, but stealthily. It may take some time, but work at it. In my case, I was the man here, cos Bros 1, had turned me off sex. Le Boo, took his time with the initiation, by the time we were engaged, I was more than READY!!!!!! All the best

    • Lois

      June 16, 2015 at 9:40 pm

      Eiyaaa… My sister, I feel you o. What can we advise you to do now? If I openly support sex before marriage, people dey say I too spoil. Now see 1st hand experience. Maybe you’ll talk to Mr. W now, Abu wetin you go do now?

    • BC

      June 16, 2015 at 11:23 pm

      Gosh woman, you had me hollering in this empty house!! Hahahaah…ewooo….why did you break with le-ex? Nothing sucks more than an unsatisfying married sex-life. I feel for you. Been in that situation before and that was more than 50% of the reason I asked for a big D. I could not picture the rest of my life in that kind of horrible sex situation. Fortunately, there were no kids. I lucked out. I got out. You post is so funny tho.

    • Personal Signature

      June 17, 2015 at 9:18 am

      This is what i am talking about
      That is why fornication is strongly advised against.
      Not only for spiritual reasons, but because of you, your partner and your marriage

      Dear wifey, even if your husband is doing it well, you can’t feel it because of your past experience. You can definitely not let go of that ex. You just said breaking up with him is “babanla mistake” and the way you treat him (as you described there) is outrageous.

      For your own good, erase the past memory and concentrate on your marriage. Nothing is beyond repair. Talk to him, be willing and all will be well

    • ngak

      June 18, 2015 at 12:15 am

      How are u making this her fault now biko?

    • xxx

      June 17, 2015 at 10:11 am

      @Mr. W’s wife… i have decided not to have sex again till marriage o…not that i am really experienced or anything…i have only had sex 3 times in my 23 years of existence and it was with one person (my ex) since that relationship ended, i have decided not to have sex again till marriage but your comment is making me question my decision…i don’t want to get married and realize my husband is bad in bed and i don’t want to go back on the vow i made to myself to remain celibate either…if i end up marrying a man that is bad in bed, i will just do plenty fasting and prayer and commit his ”sexABILITY” Into the hands of GOD!

  53. Prec

    June 16, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    Nahhhh, I’m team no Faking oh. You are not going to be feeling accomplished while I didn’t cum or have an orgasm,abi is it only men that like having orgasms? I would say each woman for their own but the problem is in this case it’s you women that fake that are causing other women’s sexual problems LMAO. Yels now, a man will leave a relationship with so many bad habits and bring it to the next woman he’s with. When i’m dry I simply whisper it into his ear, “Nna are you done, i’m getting sore or if i’m feeling generous I talk dirty to make him cum, or do something he likes. But heaven know i’m not faking for anyone’s pride, if you want to be proud improve your skills, ahn you think this is joking sturvs?

    • D Main Man

      June 16, 2015 at 8:04 pm

      Lol., I no see laugh, laugh.. \let the AFFECTATION STOP.
      most guys think the longer the “sexual bout” the better. @prec. just as you said you guys should educated them, since its your body and you want a mutually achieved pleasure. I had to cue up during my youth services days with my Calabar girl, now i serious feel infamous when thanked for a job well done. but i think i have to review my head-game serious, it shouldn’t be available on the menu for every one after the last chic made an over daring move to strangle/suffocate me with her legs and thighs, i had to tap out (UFC) Ultimate Fighting Championship. LMAO. left me gasping for breath.

      Basically i think orgasm could be achieved even before the revving of the engine. i think for single ladies achieving orgasms depends on the affection,affable with your boy o. if you with the right huge handsome hunk guy, from the hugging, inhaling of his cologne., kissing, dirty ear talk, smart sexual jokes, tickling, spanking, should go a long way even before the” foreplay stage” sets in. and then the doing the do.

      As for married women Biko sorry, you have to choose between a gigolo and a financial stable/responsible man. so try and relive that which you had lived during your single days, A man thinking of house rent how u wan make him do. LMAO.

    • SweetPea

      June 25, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      @Prec Gbam!!!

  54. Neva

    June 16, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    @Ada I and my bf av been “heavily petting” each oda for close to 2 yrs now and we’ve neva had penetrative sex o….. Wen it’s getting over board, we just stop. And u kno wat, I av “cum” plenty of times… As I av faked it plenty of tyms too 😀
    Nice one Isio!

  55. pd

    June 16, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    I can fake for Africa! I don’t wanna hurt his feelings! It’s just the ‘how many times did u come’ question kills me everything!! Phewwww!

  56. Divea

    June 16, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    I’ve done it plenty times oooo before person go tear my V. With my ex, it was fake or suffer and i no wan suffer. I can count how many times i have actually come.

  57. Divea

    June 16, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    But now I’ve sworn off sex till marriage ooo by the special grace of God

  58. Easy n Gentle

    June 16, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    to all dudes readings do feel the need to improve, I suggest you get lesbian porn (not for pleasure sakes) and study it. There’s no better teacher on how to touch a woman than a woman. it helps, it certainly helped me. it does not have to be about your pleasure all the time.

  59. Misses M

    June 16, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    I orgasm most times, alot of times in short intervals. And its basically clitoral stimulation. Not penetration. Hubby and I devised a means of making both of us to cum without the penetrative thrusting. Cos of the pain I feel. For those experiencing dryness, saliva works better, especially for those trying for a baby. Lubes kill sperm. Water is not soft and gelly, so it causes friction. All these comments today sha! got me really cracking up at work! making me feel things. Hubby has got plenty work tonight! Cant wait to leave the office…. #Wink#

    • Danny

      July 5, 2015 at 10:06 am

      I feel u

  60. Aya

    June 16, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    OMG you guys are the best!
    My first time was with my boyfriend who was a bad kisser like I thought his lips were better than life itself oh so \I felt ah the knacks would be to die for..\I went all out meyne bought lingerie ati gbo gbo everything oh boom the first time which was my first time was what?HORRRRRIBLEEEE like im talking I bleed like a mufasucker sorry to get graphic and things but he said we would work it out so we would keep trying nigga just used to plough into my vajayjay like he was trying to harvest crops like he would pound and pound and \I would be so dry likw WTF he now had one dirty American accent in bed like huh? didn’t know any better as he was my first so I felt sex was always painful and sore..
    fast forward to my DICtator… he would literally eff my brains out…lick like his life depended in it and we would have sex and gist and laugh, it was so amazing like yo meyne the dictator taught me to love my body..he would treat the kitty so goooood like it was amazing and times I would be dry and ill tell him yo im dry talk to her be nice and he knew what to do (COMMUNICATION) but we decided great sex wasnt enough so we ended it, thing is we still flirt but err chapter, legs and lips closed …ive been single for a long ass while so I have had time to explore myself and I get the big O with just my fingers and its empowering meyne it is besides clitoral stimulation does it for me! GUys need to perfect their head and finger game meyne so many wack sex guys out there…
    Abeg ive had enough bad sex with mr American accent to last a life time that nope \I aint faking for nothing
    Life is too short for Wack Sex please its 2015 speak up or use your fingers!
    ALso try erotica like Mr Willy said..Kamasutra is sensual and shouldn’t be taken for granted..porn is stupid with unrealistic expectations ya know!

  61. nene

    June 16, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    a man can tell if a woman had an orgasm by feeling her cum, if it’s warm. it’s totally different from the feeling of vaginal lubrication.

  62. Lois

    June 16, 2015 at 10:22 pm

    After hubby had bumped, grind, licked and sucked, I was too exhausted from the day’s work to be in the mood to cum. My husband caught me about twice and I felt so embarrassed and silly for lying. He asked, “how many times did you cum?” I said 2ce. Chai! He just rolled off and said he couldn’t feel me cum. He said my v-jay-jay walls clutches tighter, my body tenses up and he feels my warm liquid lightly. Mehn, it was a major fuck up. The guy caught me after many years of fakeness perfection. Mr hubby just rolled over and slept. After apologizing for almost 4 days, he gave it to me 1 week later and screwed the hell out of me. I came, came, came and nearly passed out from pleasure. Anyways, won’t give up faking it, it is part of my being a woman

  63. Shannie

    June 16, 2015 at 11:46 pm

    I love this article. The comments are hilarious.

  64. M.O

    June 16, 2015 at 11:48 pm

    I am so happy I don’t have to fake orgasms anymore. I have always had to fake and then I meet this way older gentleman. First time we had sex, I was confused as to what was happening to me. I came about 4times that night and there’s been no time we had sex that I didn’t cum. He thought me how to pleasure myself too, encouraged me to get a bullet and I enjoy the spanking too. I am suddenly a sex minx and I love the freedom in knowing I can be whatever I want to be with him. No faking orgasms for this girl. The only sad thing is that I can’t marry him (age difference and he is divorced) so I get scared I won’t meet anybody like him to marry and have a happy ever after orgasm with.

  65. Lerry

    June 17, 2015 at 12:11 am

    I don laugh tire, ve learnt a lot. On my part sex rili hurts, fake orgasm is cool mine I scream out of pain lik I can’t even go 4 2 rounds b4 d end of d 1st one am already in pains. Just started dating dis cutie we haven’t had sex yet but am looking forward to it, we luv ourselves but I can’t tel him how much sex hurts nd dat I might nt b able to do it d way He wnts it. Pls I nid help, is it dat wit my ex I neva got wet or its a medical problem?

  66. Crasegirl

    June 17, 2015 at 1:32 am

    I miss my ex for one thing. The sex! Dude knows how to talk dirty, fill me up and make me cum for days. I still masturbate to the thoughts of him pounding me so hard and good. No penis is worth more than the love I have for myself so he had to go but the sex is the best I’ve ever had. Fake what?? My next dude better be good otherwise breaking up with him. I can’t stand bad sex.

  67. wantonwifey

    June 17, 2015 at 8:59 am

    How can I get a toy?help a sister out please.can’t cheat,communication didn’t work.bn married 5years,never cum yet.

    • right

      June 17, 2015 at 12:15 pm

      You don’t need a toy or even penetrative sex to get an orgasm.with clitoral massaging/stimulation u are sure to get one(that’s how I got my first),just make sure u are fully aroused or u can use ur saliva or a good lube,before u start massaging it ,because its very sensitive(u can google d drawing/anatomy of the clitoris so u know u are rubbing d right place)be patient and trust me babe when u get one u will know because ur body will vibrate and ur brain will literally spin back n front.

    • pweedyy

      June 17, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      try buying on, aliexpress or dhgate

  68. Goz

    June 17, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Lovely posts,lovely comments. I am a guy,the girl I am currently dating confessed to me that she has come only 2/3 times in her life until we met(I want to believe she is saying the truth), she has been with like 4 guys before me,she told me she fakes her orgasms with those guys. and now with me,she only comes if she is on top,with her clitoris rubbing against my pubes. Seriously , sometimes I wonder if she fakes some of the orgasms with me, but she says she doesn’t .A nd when she doesn’t come she will always tell me. I can work for 1 hour,and the young woman will look at me and say “baby I have not come Ooo” omo boy has to get back to work. But of late I have to start giving her head, though she doesn’t like it, but sometimes instead of to die,trying to make her come, I just lick her until will both fall asleep.
    I think some ladies just have problems with having orgasm,I believe she is one of such, I have been with quite a lot of girls, and my people I know I am the “orgasm bomber”,but my present girl just have issues with orgasming. The key is communication and trying until you both find out what works.

  69. Priscy

    June 17, 2015 at 11:00 am

    184 comments and counting
    chai
    Sex truly sells

    Lots of love to u Isio

  70. Teris

    June 17, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    OMG!! LOL!!! “…you should have seen the proud smile on his face, my inner goddess shook her head….”

  71. cute

    June 17, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    so much to learn.hmnnnn this post is just too much.

  72. chifire

    June 17, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    I luv luv luv luv luv u isio.

  73. Wande

    June 17, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    I have never had an orgasm before, I always fake it. However, I enjoy sex only when I don’t raise up my legs. A question for d female commenters; do u feel pain whenever you raise your legs up while having sex? Like he is hitting something like bladder or something else. I always feel pain whenever I do that. My partner is always so disappointed.

    • Redbloom

      July 20, 2015 at 4:44 pm

      Wande I thought it was only me in this world oh. My dear you are NOT alone. I just want to pee all the time when that happens.

  74. Brighton Lad

    June 17, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    I know wen my gal fakes orgasm and i do fake at tyms but wen she comes i know… Lately I have not been able to make her come as much as I will like dunno y… i feel we still have a lot to learn abt each other. Also i have ‘released’ only once from a bj…..

  75. cleo

    June 17, 2015 at 11:57 pm

    I had to fake orgasm to avoid being sore.
    sometimes he doesn’t even want to know if I have come . He just slams and ejaculates and I hear oh baby that was sweet. I sabi the thing well and feels macho for an ejaculation. i have to fantasize to feel good. I desire to encounter the orgasm soon

  76. Lois

    June 18, 2015 at 12:23 am

    Can you imagine? I read this post yesterday and I’m back today again. What Isio will cause on BN, even her hand won’t be able to handle it. Naijas, we like ‘something’ matter sha!

  77. ngak

    June 18, 2015 at 6:33 am

    I kuku have a PhD in faking. With ex boo. I faked so much on top this ego issue that the guy actually bet me 150k that he would break my resistance down in no time when I was annoyed.
    Easiest money I ever made.
    I now decided to be honest ……..drama… weeks of sulking and forming vex and emotional blackmail then a make up gbenshing that was so epic and horrid made worse for me that he thought it was the performance of the century………..so the horror and irritation in my face was a your definition of pleasure ba……..that I kuku told myself the truth….and I wakaed. I cannot suffer for a life time

  78. Tjay

    June 18, 2015 at 9:49 am

    Hold up. I actually believe that there’s no way in hell that we guys can be 100% sure that a woman is not faking it….except maybe if we connect some “Masters Of Sex” apparatus to her body to empirically verify the truth….Anything less than that, we can never know.

    That said, I still don’t understand why women will choose to undermine their sexual satisfaction because of their desire to boost our egos and keep the peace, when we men don’t seem to care about reciprocating that gesture. When a woman is frigid and a prude, we find ways to let her know (sometimes these ways are euphemistic enough, while at other times, they are just plain crude, but the point is we let her know). We don’t think in our minds that ‘mehn i don’t wanna hurt her feelings, so i’ll just settle for a good wank later’. So why should women lie not to hurt our egos and then go behind us to laugh at our poor bed skills with their friends? That’s so uncool. I’d prefer that you hurt me, we fight and somewhere in that chaos, I learn to be better for you. Women really need to change….and brothers need to loosen up and get less sensitive.

    Oh by the way, is it really true that “with women… great, memorable sex does not always end with the earth-shattering, bed-shaking big “O” , nor does having an “O” mean that the sex was above average.“O” ?” Oh boy…this life is a pot f beans oh! Lol!

    • EL

      June 18, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      Yes, it is true! For me at least.

  79. ChicadimplesNG

    June 19, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    Isio girl, u rock!
    Wat of girls like us dat don’t have clitoris cos of circumcision?? How we go do na?
    Cos vagina O is definitely not my thing

  80. whao

    June 22, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    Reading this just makes me scared. I am single. been single for the longest time. I am keeping myself for marriage but having read a lot of books while I was a teenager I had great sexual expectations. aspa my husband and I. but reading this I just like omo babe u will most likely end up marrying one man that doesn’t even want to try going down on you or worst one who does but gets saliva in your vagina (like aunty mentioned above).

    all ye sexually active ladies have spoilt it for us virgins o. quick question if a guy cant kiss does that mean he wont be good in bed or is that irrelevant when it comes to the main sexual act.

  81. ela

    August 4, 2015 at 11:19 am

    isio, u know it berra.

  82. duchess-ibkgeorge

    August 30, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    LOL.How about faking when making out .I have never had sex before but I do make out.I think attraction is key.I once had an Ex ,that just by seeing his Anaconda am dripping like watermelon.Sigh!Am so attracted to him.I pray the Man i end up marrying will be all that i want in bed. The fact that am a virgin doesn’t mean i will take trash in bed o.I don’t want to fake it when its time,I want a sizzling hot love making everytime Oga touches me.LOL

  83. Kelly

    October 15, 2015 at 10:31 am

    I believe sex is a Give and Take thing, Nothing goes for nothing. Not every time the woman wants the guy that the guy will b ready and vice versa. I love sex, not all of it is interesting,, but just have to get it over with.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php