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‘You don’t have to be a victim’ – Toke Makinwa Reaches Out to Women going through Difficult and Heartbreaking Situations

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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Toke MakinwaToke Makinwa has reached out to women who are going through difficult situations around the world.

According to her, the amount of emails she has received in the past few days with women sharing their stories has been heartbreaking.

She posted a message to everyone on Instagram:

The amount of emails I have received from women across the world going thru difficult situations is heartbreaking. (Thank you all for sharing). In a world where the popular belief out there is that women hate eachother, women can’t stand each other, etc. I have gotten emails/calls from women sharing their own personal pain and that is courageous. I can’t reply everyone, (even though i honestly wish i could.)It is Funny how God uses even the most unbelievable things to bless you. I have been given a voice, a platform, (i don’t even know how it’s all happened) but I woke up one day and I found God and with that came purpose. It’s never about you, as hard as it seems, sometimes you go thru things not for you but for the people around you who need direction, a word of prayer or more. May God heal every broken heart out there, may his light give you the courage to begin to love yourself. It is tough being a woman, the preasure is real. You don’t have to be a victim, you can rise above it all. Do not let society tell you otherwise. Be Bold, Be Strong. Trust God’s purpose for your life and keep shinning. *And Yes, to all the people asking, there is a Vlog this week *
Good Morning
TM

Photo Credit: Instagram/Tokemakinwa

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

113 Comments

  1. Toks the opportunist!!

    June 16, 2015 at 9:55 am

    Toke, posts like this validate accusations about you being an opportunist/strategist or whatever. You just love to keep the buzz going.

    In the end, this post is to advertise your next vlog abi? So you can hit 1 million views cos’ some curious cats will go looking …. SMH

    • Thatgidigirl

      June 16, 2015 at 10:16 am

      She’s a business woman and a logical thinker not an opportunist. I’m not for or against anybody in this whole issue, but i think you guys need to cut the lady some slack. Its quite an embarrassing situation to be in, but do you want her to put a bullet in her head? Why does she have to be remorseful or sober for a sin she didn’t commit? if she goes into hiding you would be the first to laugh and call her a coward. I would be so mad at Toke if she doesn’t milk the hell out of this situation, run with it to the bank and cash out like crazy.

    • me

      June 16, 2015 at 11:15 am

      My dear, this is a serious family issue, no one is saying she should not do business, but every human needs to reflect then come back with a bang..

    • Chidi

      June 16, 2015 at 11:44 am

      I disagree with you, Life is not about money! And she says she loves the man, yeh right! This should be a time for reflection for her. A time to think and be REAL, dont live out your life in public, that’s why celebrities breakdown eventually. Everything about her is fake and forced and perhaps she should rethink, maybe she is not what he wants. Moreover, this is what you get when you drag a man kicking and screaming down the alter! Ladies learn from this………

    • Que

      June 16, 2015 at 11:50 am

      @ me, she will be reflecting while moving…. #multitasking noni.

      Beeeettttttt all these advisers, I didnt hear u people shouting when anita psquare’s wife decided to wife him after babymama-ing another lady in the course of their loooonnngggg rship….. I also didnt see her jumping from event to event either- so by some accusations on here, it would appear she had his time…..yet she still got a stepbaby….so do these blame games really make sense??? ….. #foodforthought. Cheers.

    • FasholasLover

      June 16, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      The girl has been embarrassed big time and you say whaaaaat? Toke sef no try, l would get a management coy and do a short video on this whole whahala and run to the bank heartbroken or not. Even if Maje did not impregnate anybody, I can only imagine the trauma these last 24hrs must have been. I beg l no send.

    • Babylicious

      June 19, 2015 at 6:37 pm

      Yes, its a pretty difficult situation 2be in…seriously! ! Dnt pray2ever be caught up between a man n his ex….
      Now that d babe is handling the matter somewhat maturedly pple r calling her an opportunist, whereas if she was throwin tantrums n calling d dude names n swearing4him dey wld abuse her for not moving on n being childish n being an “abokoku! “…na wa to una oooo

    • Angie

      June 16, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Baby, she’s allowed to even shoot that man and be a murderer. I’m not saying it is right but allow her to handle this situation her way. Same you will call her an opportunist if she wallows in depression and does something drastic. You will say she did it for attention. Y’all be acting like a man you loved never hurt y’all before. *Smh*

    • nnenne

      June 17, 2015 at 1:49 am

      @ Que… Psquare’s is innocent of the accusation.
      It was a false story.

    • Onyeka

      June 16, 2015 at 1:45 pm

      Errr you want her to kill herself. Haters sha. My respect for her has grown. She is strong! When life throws you lemons… Make some lemonade.

    • RIFF RAFF

      June 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      Karrueche things! Abeg, she knew about the whole situation a long time ago, way before us and has probably taken time to cry herself out, strategize and is now milking her predicament to the max. Smart ass gal. Even though i feel she does not deserve this kind of disgrace, the gal has probably dusted herself and while you all awwwwing and crying “as if it happened to you”, chica is waiting to cash in big bucks resulting from this buzz. and guess what? she won’t give any to you.
      And to all of u abusing Maje, what if she stays with him? Y’all be looking like complete idiots while they be enjoying the moni you helped them make. Only those involved in that funny love triangle know what’s really up.

    • jide

      June 16, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      Don’t mind her. She is always advising other women and will do anything to stay trending. Haha. Toke the joke is on you. Take a breather and go sort your life. If you keep this attention whoorism up, you will always attract miscreants like Maje. This your penchant to always be in the news is rather repulsive. Media mogul Mo Abudu sef no iriitate us like you do. Omo oju orolari. It’s hard to feel sorry for this girl. I swear

    • nnenne

      June 17, 2015 at 1:43 am

      Love me some Toke.
      You are really a business woman.

  2. Tosan

    June 16, 2015 at 10:00 am

    I am so proud of Toke and the way she is handling this situation!! God bless her heart and the millions of women out there going through similar situations.

    • Itiswell

      June 16, 2015 at 10:37 am

      Nothing to be truly proud of ….I am angry about this. I am a fan but I would not be a blind supporter…. I was feeling her till

      ‘It’s never about you, as hard as it seems, sometimes you go thru things not for you but for the people around you who need direction,’ ———This is true BUT when you experience the same shit over and over, God and life/universe is telling you that YOU are the one that needs the change and direction not the people around you

      ‘It is tough being a woman, the preasure is real. You don’t have to be a victim, you can rise above it all.’…….. thank you very much Toke, you do not have to be a victim so why are you still there….#14years and counting….na victim mentality be that

      Yes I have been in a complicated or mumu relationship before but I woke and did not stay pass a year…. I pray for every insecure women out there that God would guide them to know their value. If you are already married and your husband is a constant cheat, you have kids and don’t want to leave, well I pray for you too, Get busy with yourself, look beautiful, travel with your kids and don’t let him mess your mind

    • Anon

      June 16, 2015 at 1:56 pm

      I love your comment. You made really good points here! And gave her a little tough love 🙂

    • Babylicious

      June 19, 2015 at 6:46 pm

      In ur mind now u have made sense! ! U dnt ono d intricate details of this issue, u pple r just judgin n analysing…so u feel u av a right2air ur opinion jst coz u r a fan? Just so u kno sha its not necessarily insecurity dt makes one stay in such relationships, its prolly d hpe dt things wld get better….

  3. bruno FIERCE

    June 16, 2015 at 10:02 am

    JON SNOW IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

    stannis baratheon from house baratheon, the one true king and rightful heir to the throne, lord of the 7 kingdoms and protector of the realm is DEAD!!!!!!.
    stannis is so stupid.he messed up big time. that lady of the light (the wicked bitch with red hair) is a fraud. she deserted stannis.

    ahyah spark is blind. she disobeyed the many faced god.

    sansah spark and theon grey joy a.k.a rick, have escaped from the boltons. where are tgey running to thats the first thing I asked my self.

    I watched the game of thrones season finale last night, I nearly died of high B.P.

    • Disguised

      June 16, 2015 at 11:09 am

      I think that witch will bring JON SNOW back to life. We will have to wait till next year.

      Toke knew about this all along or she didn’t really love her husband. Who moves on so quickly with something like this? Please just like linda used our head when a friend abi someone shut her blog down and then got all the publicity she wanted.

      We don hear!!! Your guy (because I don’t believe that wedding una do, surprise wedding yet your dress was a perfect fit )cheated it’s happens after all you were together for 12 years you must have seen his in and out in 12 YEARS. Case closed …..

    • nne007

      June 16, 2015 at 3:05 pm

      Idi very stupid beyond imagination BRUNO…… You are here feeling like someone that watches Game of thrones and know the names of the actors and actresses and yet can’t even spell their names correctly……. its Arya Stark and not Ahyah Spark, Sansa Stark and not Sansah Spark. mtchewwwwwwwww. Your comments are always stupid and irrelevant like you.

    • Fyfi Salty

      June 17, 2015 at 2:02 pm

      @ Disguised: JON SNOW have left the show… I heard he was sacked!! ?

    • Tanya

      June 16, 2015 at 11:14 am

      What is wrong with you?

    • FasholasLover

      June 16, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      She smoke Igbo.

    • me

      June 16, 2015 at 11:18 am

      I almost want to flog shege out of you Bruno, but for some reason I am laughing instead.

    • SomewhereInTexas

      June 16, 2015 at 11:39 am

      Why!!!!!??? Ahn. Ahn. I’ve been avoiding spoilers now.

    • CurvesAndEdges

      June 16, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      This Bruno person is a very unlikeable character. Meanwhile, Bella Naija please please do not post comments like this – people shouldn’t be allowed to post spoilers and spoil the show for other people. Could you delete it pretty please??

    • bliss...

      June 16, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      YOU ARE JUST A SILLY FOOL. Abe na who ask you question.
      after avoiding spoilers ….just negodu how you spoiled the show for me in the middle of a TOKE post. long hiss.

    • gabi

      June 16, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      Today is ubi franklin and lilian esoros wedding introduction.

    • Psalm

      June 16, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      Lol! Bruno.

    • IjeUSA

      June 16, 2015 at 1:02 pm

      You are a BIG FOOL!

    • NEKS

      June 16, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      GOT has got me emotionally distressed! I keep telling my self i’m done with this show but I keep coming back! after the red wedding, i was assured i was truly done…. but here I am again sad and depressed cursing all the old and new gods and that stupid lord of light. see ehn, i don’t care what George RR Martin thinks he’s doing, my own is Jon better just resurrect next season, i don’t care whether its Melissandre or the white walkers that will help but Jon better wake uppppppp or im penning an open letter. GRRM please leave the Starks alone!! its enough, we understand, please face another house, leave my “family” the starkssssss! officially depressed this week

    • Bemi L.

      June 16, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Number 1, you’re two days behind. Number 2, your reason for posting these spoilers is beyond me. Why are human beings like this?

  4. Anon

    June 16, 2015 at 10:04 am

    All the best to you as you keep milking your social media “clout.”

  5. Charles

    June 16, 2015 at 10:05 am

    Oh yeah! the fame hunter is still dishing out “words of wisdom”.

    • jide

      June 16, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      Lmao. She was busy saving the world when suddenly hers came crumbling in front of the world. I am convinced Toke has a disorder.

    • sigh!

      June 16, 2015 at 7:41 pm

      Try walking a mile in her shoes….

    • Black Coffee

      June 18, 2015 at 1:20 pm

      I think you toasted Toke and she dissed you cos you stalk posts about her talking rubbish.

  6. oy

    June 16, 2015 at 10:06 am

    yes girl!!!

  7. TEEE

    June 16, 2015 at 10:09 am

    Toke is my new BFF in my head.
    stay strong Babe Jesus got u

  8. miss Pynk

    June 16, 2015 at 10:11 am

    Na wa oh. See politcal statement on adultery allegations. Interesting.

    Pynk360.com

  9. itiswell

    June 16, 2015 at 10:14 am

    My dear toke …I say a Big Amen to this your prayer. May God heal yours and every broken heart. Amen

    My only issue with you is that you deserve so much better, that I am truly Angry and disgusted for/by you. I hate seeing women treated with no regards from men. Yes relationships are not easy and there are a few arguments and complication here and there but this one has passed it now.

    Toke you did not even do ‘first come first serve dating/marriage with Maje’, ‘trial and error dating’, ‘maximum 3-5 years dating’, ‘friends with benefits’ ‘I don’t want to be lonely dating’, ‘I was a mumu but the love juju has cleared dating ( a la Karreuche)’ etc….

    No you guys were in an actual relationship and instead of directing a sweet movie for yourself, you chose to play the role and star in ’12 years a slave’ ,’living in misery’, ‘heartache’, ‘the boy is mine’ etc.

    You are valuable and its alright to make mistakes but your goal should have been to star ‘love is sweet’. ‘peaceful marriage’, ‘soulmate’ , ‘Understanding husband’ etc

    I am glad you are a believer of God, and if you have decided to stay, please pray that May God direct your life to what you truly deserve, pray for your husband etc…. you don’t even have kids to tie you down and you are already going through something like this.
    Don’t forget that God gave us wisdom to make great decisions, but man no gree.

    I am also glad that you know you have a platform and I pray that with Gods guidance you would use it well…. please do not go and be teaching girls to stay in fruitless, miserable, abusive relationships for years and think they have won or will be at peace when they finally get the ring. They can do trial and error for 2years, learn from the mistake and move on.

    I love men, infact I am the only daughter in my family but if there is one thing my father and brothers taught me, is that I am too valuable to be treated like shit by a man. Any man who constantly disrespects you is only showing you his own insecurities.

    Even if all men cheat, a man that outright does it on the face of his wife does not have respect. Smh…. #itiswell

  10. Fatimah

    June 16, 2015 at 10:15 am

    I sincerely pray Toke doesn’t get carried away by this whole strong woman ish and lose herself. It is okay to be vulnerable, get hurt and heal.

    I honestly do hope she is not bottling all that hurt inside to keep up with the strong woman image.

    • Tosin

      June 16, 2015 at 10:35 am

      this is funny.
      hope she doesn’t lose herself. lol. my dear.

    • Tosan

      June 16, 2015 at 10:41 am

      So what is she is?? People deal with their issues in different ways, so don’t be so judgmental.. How do you know what she does in private?? When you are going through difficult situations, people just want to see you cry and be vulnerable so they can tell you sorry to your face and laugh at you when you are not there… You don’t need to know how she is dealing with her issues.. Its really her business… If she publicizes her misery, you people will criticize, if she keeps it within closed doors, you will still criticize, Just let the woman be…

    • Alert!

      June 16, 2015 at 11:21 am

      Take it easy dear Tosan. You don’t have to attack like a roaring lion. lol. That said. Yes! her response is full of deceit. Oh well she could have choosed to be silent or just address HER issues instead of trying to drag so called “other” victims into her situation.

      Yes! I hope she is not trying to put up an image. Same thing I commented about fronting a picture perfect image on social media. People hurt, people fall, people make mistakes, but then people could still rise from it up. How much you deal with it goes a long way to determine how well you will rise. So Toke should STOP! Stop putting up this “I got it all under control” type of image. Well in the end its up to her..

    • Iris

      June 16, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      Lol I doubt it.
      I always thought this girl was an idiot. I thought ‘Pretty, decent fashion sense, excellent choice in weaves, even someone I would take seriously in a campaign for women’s rights, but pretty idiotic with the annoying expressions in these blogs I can never finish watching and selectively applied accent’ (didn’t even care about the bleaching thing as it is a personal choice). Today, I stand corrected.
      This girl is a bloody genius.
      She has admitted to nothing and yet has managed garner everyone’s sympathy (including mine) to the point that she can now be in solidarity with women going through what she’s going through (meanwhile she has not said what it is she’s going through). Carry go my dear and I’m not even saying this tongue-in-cheek. You’ve found a way to take a situation that hurts and turn it into big business sharpish using a forum you’re clearly obsessed with. If the story is true, maybe you found out before the rest of the country did and had your ‘freak out’ moment and have already decided what you’re going to do, i.e walk or stay. Now you’re just dealing with the situation to maximize any gains.
      I officially have mad respect for you.

    • Bleed Blue

      June 16, 2015 at 1:05 pm

      I was going to type my comment….and then I saw yours.

      No further typing required.

  11. Personal Signature

    June 16, 2015 at 10:19 am

    I haven’t seen a man/woman who will have this kind of public disgrace/embarrassment who wouldn’t be affected or go for a retreat.

    Even dirty politicians who have their names dented will go abroad or hide somewhere for the whole thing to die down and reflect about their lives. Emmanuel Adebayor who was having family issues (not even divorce) had to be given a period of leave from his club.

    Toke, you are not affected/moved by what happened? If you are not moved by what your husband did, you are not moved by the amount of public involvement also?

    Wow, am speechless! A boyfriend/girlfriend breaking up even takes time before they get over it.. Even a man would be totally thrown off balance not to talk of a lady.

    Were you ever in love?
    Did you marry for status?
    Did you marry for some reasons we don’t know
    do you have a heart? or is it a stony heart?

    Posts upon posts of pictures, encouraging others….
    It is well with you
    just thinking like a human being (with a heart), that i am

    • TanaWole

      June 16, 2015 at 10:55 am

      Don’t mind her, only decieving herself.

    • NIRA

      June 16, 2015 at 11:03 am

      Maybe she knew of this before the news became public, have you thought of that? So, she’s probably gone through the moment of grieving privately. She knew about Anita before now, I don’t believe otherwise.

    • ellim

      June 16, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      So you want her to cry and wail on Twitter and Instagram so that SDK, LIB and co. can then type “Is Toke depressed? See what she typed on Instagram.”
      It’s pissing all you enemies of her peace of mind that she’s handling it well (in public), innit?

    • iloveToke

      June 16, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      This probably did not come as a surprise to her.. it is possible she knew months before and was prepared for the reaction from the world. Because you are hearing about it now.. does not mean she just knew too.

  12. fga

    June 16, 2015 at 10:22 am

    She’s really milking this thing for all its worth. Funny how women are always the victim of something or the other in this Nigeria wey we dey.

  13. james

    June 16, 2015 at 10:26 am

    lol…….self deceit….cry in private and deceive yourself in public

    • Tosan

      June 16, 2015 at 12:57 pm

      Would you be happier if she cried in public?

  14. Eve82

    June 16, 2015 at 10:31 am

    Dear BN,

    We have exhausted this topic. Please let’s move on abeg.

    Love,
    Eve82

  15. peopleoftheworld

    June 16, 2015 at 10:32 am

    If she makes a statement and says I am divorcing— you go talk

    If she makes a statement saying the allegations are true or untrue– you go talk

    If she makes a statement saying she is taking a break– you go talk

    If she makes a statement saying she will make a statement –you go talk.

    Chai Chai Chai

  16. OD

    June 16, 2015 at 10:37 am

    I am not your fan, but i like your courage. You have just proven that you have better things to focus on. Ride on Toke. Its not a do or die affair.

  17. fga

    June 16, 2015 at 10:40 am

    Meanwhile have you all read how the late Chinx’s babymama and his wife are doing birthday shower and celebrating his life together? Make Toke go find that Anita babe hold her hand o. After all they’ve been sharing the same thing for a decade, no need for drama.

  18. Andrew

    June 16, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Stop portraying men as devils. There are millions of men going through terrible situations caused by women too.

  19. TanaWole

    June 16, 2015 at 10:52 am

    As much as I feel sorry for Toke, Its just so glaring this lady is an insecure attention seeker who constantly needs reassurance from faceless personalities online. Even during this trial and tribulation, you are still on social media posting selfies, tweeting that you are laughing, writing speeches .. all to form “strong woman”.

    All this shenanigans is exactly what makes you weak. You are weak because you do not have the strength enough to show your vulnerability.. You rely so heavily on your false public persona for validation. Instead of you to take a break from social media, you are still milking this storyline for attention towards your silly vlogs. It’s clear you want your situation to remain in the news all week. Quit playing victim whilst your irrational fans hurl curses at your husband as if he’s the first man to get a chick pregnant. We all know he never wanted to marry you in the first place.

    So pathetic.. see what social media has turned us to 🙁

    • peopleoftheworld

      June 16, 2015 at 11:01 am

      you are the pathetic one. Her work is Social media. She needs to promote her brand that’s what her work is about. So she should leave her means of livelihood just so she can satisfy you and her man?

      During your bad times, did you stop working? Did you cut out your means of livelihood. Please be sincere and stop throwing stones.

    • TanaWole

      June 16, 2015 at 11:56 am

      Get real sweetheart. NO ONE gets paid for taking countless selfies .. ok? .. damn. I guess you also believe she gets paid to attend parties.. Hahaha because she’s Beyonce abi? you guys will believe anything these yeyebrities post online. its a shame.

      I ain’t knocking her hustle but pls open your eyes to see that Toke isn’t as innocent as you’d like to believe.

    • Colour Purple

      June 16, 2015 at 11:12 am

      I hope you are not a woman, I’m so disgusted by what you wrote down. Social Media is her livelihood, abi you stopped going to work when your ex dumped you ba? Don’t worry when your husband gets his side dish pregnant , people will also tell you he never wanted to marry you in the first place. Taaaaa!

    • TanaWole

      June 16, 2015 at 11:52 am

      Nowhere in my post did I wish Toke evil. . Therefore your ridiculous statement is directed back at you. Whatever you wish for me, back to sender.

      I guess in your biased mind you completely blocked out the married woman who cried all over the blogs that Toke was frolicking with her man all over Lekki. Off course you wouldn’t see that one. because you are blinded by her fame, fashion and heavily caked face. Stop worshipping celebrities and be objective. OK!

    • Chidi

      June 16, 2015 at 11:57 am

      I hope you are not a woman yourself!!! Social media is her livlihood!!!!!!!is that something to be proud of?!!!!! People are in Nepal saving lives, scientists in labs looking for the cure for diseases and someone talks about a social media as if it’s something to be proud of. It’s a perfect outlet for insecure narcissists, plain and simple. Can she use her social media platform to highlight the plight of hungry children in Nigeria then i can start to take her seriously.

    • Colour Purple

      June 16, 2015 at 1:47 pm

      Dear Chidi, defender of the hungry, acclaimed scientist! What are you doing on social media? 🙂

    • New

      June 16, 2015 at 1:32 pm

      @TanaWole -Tell em! these fools are blind. Toke is an attention seeker!

    • girl

      June 16, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      actually people get paid to take instagram photos. Google it.

  20. Radio Katanga

    June 16, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Okay o. I hope for her sake Toke applies or practices what she preaches. Seems she even had an idea what was going on (refer to her interview on Moments with Mo).
    And now she’s playing the victim abi.
    I hope this is not just one big soap opera they’re playing out for us. I don tire for the matter sef, but as per amebo, radio katanga concerned, I go dey watch to see how this thing go play out…

  21. freemind

    June 16, 2015 at 11:21 am

    I really do understand her pain. In a way God knows best. We all just found out coz of the pregnancy . I wouldn’t believe it, if , Toke says she knew nothing about her husband intimate relationship with the lady “Anita”. If she says she doesn’t then, I must say she brought this on herself. Remember the saying ” we are architect of our problems” (except you don’t regard that condition as a problem).

    Toke is here and there, every event in Lagos, you will see her there. There was a time i read on she is been paid money to attend shows (night shows abi? can’t remember) , i don’t mean to be judgemental but in reality, a married woman can’t leave a single lady’s life style. Most of these shows or events she attends are all scheduled at night. Yes! i do understand it’s the nature of her job , but come on, there are other ladies who are her friends and once single but turned the volume of events down coz they are married. I don’t consider them foolish but liken them to the five wise virgins in the bible.

    Take it or leave it, it’s a man’s world. They (Men) can do whatever they want to do any get over with it. even with the support of their family members. Now tell me, who suffers the heart ache? who goes to bed only to soak the pillow with tears? Who pretends that all is well , even when it is glaring that you are hurt? who do pple laugh at? who bears the blame for a failed marriage / relationship (esp. marriage)? (we are all entitled to our opinion, right?)

    Well! for all of you who believe in gender equality, I’m not gonna say you should change your mind set, but atleast be realistic and look around.I was told when a man (esp. hubby) says you are on your own (jokingly or not) you r really on your own.

    I hope you enjoy your new companion Toke. I was one of those who laughed at you when you said in one of your vlog or pictures with your husband , that he (husband) is the most understanding fellow, who gives you all the support you needed. I can now see how supportive he is. Have fun!

    • free mind?

      June 16, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      Freemind,
      It’s so easy for you to judge, keep in mind that she has neither confirmed nor denounced the allegations. That being said, try walking a mile in her shoes, before criticizing her, please try….

  22. me

    June 16, 2015 at 11:25 am

    Exactly… low self-esteem… that’s what put her in this shit. No self worth. I blame those who run to watch her Vblog…

  23. tani

    June 16, 2015 at 11:29 am

    Nigerians can we at least cut Toke some slack,she’s not my fan,i don’t listen to her or read any thing she posts cos am just busy not because of anything else.either she wants fame or not is not the issue,she needs support guys and strength.God will take care of you Toke,beauty they say iis in the eye of the beholder but if u ask me Maye is not a fine bobo now ,maybe he’s good in bed sha and my people trust me you do not want to drag a man with a calabar babe o ,they are trained to satsfy their men,i dated one calabar man who told me sex is his hobby and i ran for my dear life,in my closet now i tell myself i shld not have let him go ,dem no dey tire o so am so sure that babe finished Toke’s hubby in bed o .In another month we will stop talking about them ,all parties involved should be bold in the decisions they have made including Anita,

  24. FinchleysFinest

    June 16, 2015 at 11:31 am

    ” You are weak because you do not have the strength enough to show your vulnerability.”

    THIS IS SO LAME…

    So you were expecting her to take “CRYING SELFIES”

    My dear, Toke is a business woman.. I said it, she’s way ahead of us in this situation, she knew everything from the start. She’s a hustler! And I don’t blame her…

    Let her be…. At least she has spoken… I am sure she cries when she’s all alone and she is TOKE…. in her bed….

    Let her live her life…..

    Love U Toke Makinwa…

    No man should be pressured to marry and
    No woman should be treated like dirts…

    Simple!

  25. Tkum

    June 16, 2015 at 11:33 am

    TOKE!!!!!!!!!!! Nawa for you oo… messages all over the world ke!…o chim ooo…. seriously,the gods are not to blame at all…

  26. Thats life

    June 16, 2015 at 11:56 am

    You saw it coming but didnt want to acknowledge it. How else can one explain a 12 years along with another woman who dated him for 8 years? You shouldnt be surprise that this happened. The writing was on the wall all along though you chose not to see it. And then a secret marriage. He must have suggested that out of respect for the other lady. Now a baby is coming from his other better 1/3. Tell you the truth if you could tolerate the other woman for the 8 years he dated her along with you, then you have been in polygamous relationship all these years, ring or no ring, wedding or no wedding. You were hardly ever around anyway so let her be there because he had been able to tolerate you type of career because he had an alternative, else you probably would have had issues with many women here and there. Truly. She is the backup. The truth be told, your type of career does not work for a monogamous marriage; polygamy, yes. Or are you ready to give up your career to concentrate on your marriage? Water and oil dont blend well. Lastly, if you keep doing something in a certain way and getting a particular result, dont expect a different result without changing the way you do it. Good luck dear.

  27. Nana

    June 16, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    there’s somethin abt dis lady dat i cnt seem to put a finger on…but her latest post tells quite a lot abt her. She’s here to Win, to thrive n to conquer. She wants to use everythin she has to mke it in life even the worst thing dat cud ever happen to her. Toke is awfully smart n intelligent..pple dnt get her methods bt its wrkn fr her…she might cry behind closed doors..she might b goin thru d worst of all pains bt she wudnt give pple a morsel to chew on. she ll step out n smile thru her pain, work thru her pain…mke money thru her pain…empower herself thru her pain…if u r a woman n u dnt get this then u r weak n stupid, simple. And to those of u sayin dat Toke knew abt d other gal so she brought this on herself…u pple hv not loved bfr abi? Cuz if u hv truly loved u ll understand what being a fool fr love is! I respect u Toke…i honestly do.

    • Hakassan

      June 16, 2015 at 9:37 pm

      Her role model is Kim Kardashian, so therefore as Kim milked the hell out of her sex tape matter, so also will Toke do same… I know her game plan and chick is smart, cos it’s working. Mumu Nigerians. The more views she gets on youtube, the more Youtube will pay her. Carry go girl!

  28. Daniella

    June 16, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    Toke its not easy what you are going through. Just move on like Karrueche. Any man who doesnt respect you is not worth staying with.

    The only problem i have with you is that i think u didn’t have quality time for your husband.

    In your next attempt, all those functions you attend, make sure you move along with your man to most of them. Have time for your man and pamper him. If you have done your best and it doesn’t work, move on. You were there for too long, i don’t give more than a year to a guy. 1 year is enough for me to know if a guy is seriously and madly in love with me.

    Kisses and all the best pretty.

  29. Ebele

    June 16, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    Anita has been dating Maje for over 8 years so if toke say she doesnt know her she is a Liar. The weekend before her wedding Maje was in calabar with Anita. Toke knw anita very well. The 3 of them have shared a bed overnight before. So Toke what do you expect. Anita is 32 years and has dated maje for 10 yrs am sure the poor girl knew there was nowhere to go. Toke your hubby just married you cuz of ur fame and nothing else. His heart is with Anita. Its sad cuz u could not even help your self with your vlog. May be maje thought he wasnt getting younger and he needed a child.

    • Dee

      June 16, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      See your silly self.

      First sentence you say Anita has been dating Maje for over 8 years. After you say over 10 years. Abeg even if you’re going to spew venom, at least try and stick to one story line. Mtcheeeeeew!

  30. Mixed Race

    June 16, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    BRUNOOOO!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

  31. Yemy

    June 16, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    You go girl, that is the spirit , head held up high, nice make up and weave looking your best in your heels and keep it moving . I love your spirit . Your an inspiration for women out there never let this kind of shit bring you down . Keep it moving life is too short for us women to allow men s stupidity and waywardness fall short of ourselves . As the “stronger sex” we must not loose focus on who we are and our vision . Let the men and their whores be the ones in shame . It’s their shame if they cheat not yours so why bear the grief . Yes trust has been broken but look at it this way now that u know he can’t be trusted it’s actually he’s loss. Toke your a beautiful woman all those idiots that say u work to much are fools . Pls focus on your work and keep up the good work .

  32. nonye

    June 16, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Toke is not the goddess of sorrow, nor does she have the blueprint on how to deal with heartbreak. She is just a regular human being dealing with her own issues, but having to do so in public (whether or not her posts on social media exacerbates the situation is a different matter) and unfortunately, being in the public is how she makes her living. So people should free the girl abeg! It’s “damned if you do, damned if you don’t “

  33. Steps

    June 16, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    I wish she would let sleeping dogs lie. Its the internet age it will blow over but this post only confirms the allegations in my opinion. This could have happened to anyone…

  34. labelle

    June 16, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Here are my (inconsequential) two cents:

    1) I don’t believe there is any trouble in her home whatsoever regarding this issue. I bet you she knew about this a long time ago.

    2) Isn’t it weird how this twitter account that claims to be her husband stays coming for Linda and not the person who broke the news first?

    3) I believe either she herself or Maje leaked this news to the bloggers for attention and fire-starting. They stayed silent for a bit, let the suspense build up and then come up with all these “stay stron” stories and victim-playing..

    4) And all this crap worked, cos we are all talking about it. Nothing she does is ‘just per chance’. She’s a very calculated individual. Building up sympathy for herself, get her name in people’s mouths. I don’t think they liked the fact that, that her comment about Linda sometime ago somewhat backfired and made Linda even bigger.

    Why must she always be followed by drama? She’s not the first “IT” girl on the scene, why is hers so negative?

    Again, I’m not a fan, neither am I a “hater”. I’ve defended her on here when I thought she was being wrongly insulted ( The picture in the private jet) . Just saying it as I see it. Dazall

    • Below average

      June 16, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Lmao I can’t get over the fact that there are people typing essays about this woman they supposedly hate.

      You complain she likes attention yet you’re the first people to comment and contribute to the hundreds of comments on her posts. Love her or hate her but one thing remains: she is forever the topic of discussion.

  35. ACE

    June 16, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    See people drinking panadol on another persons headache. # odiegwu. Just passing

  36. papermoon

    June 16, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    I am not a fan of this girl and i ve never watched any of her vlogs yet it feels bad anyway. What do people want from her? the husband allegedly sleeps around and knocks up a mistress and we expect the wife to go into hiding and mourn, why!!!! the man is supposedly to be having the time of his life and the wife is expected to “reflect” and “retreat.”………. what is wrong with people…..why so much hate for just one person? Even if she is putting up a front, I thank God she is strong enough to hold her head high….Its as if people are angry she is not down mourning, crying, reflecting, retreating and what ever!!! People seem to be mad she is not hunched on someone’s shoulders and crying……. thats sick!!! Apologies if i sound harsh…..

  37. NERYBANTY

    June 16, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Toke should stop acting up 4 her so called vlog fans. Seriously, u need 2 face ur next r/ship & stop jumping everywhere 4 attention. U can only b a role model 2 ur so called fan, me personally don’t like ur ways.

  38. lyl

    June 16, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    Y’all are talking about her,dissing,shading so Toke is sure trending…..so in.my humble opinion she is winning.

  39. Jane Public

    June 16, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Just sitting here, rubbing my belly, drinking decaffeinated tea and flipping through a dictionary while at it. Getting to the letter N in a few seconds. Who knew dictionaries can prove to be such an interesting read. Thesaurus next, looking for synonyms and antonyms.

    • jide

      June 16, 2015 at 3:01 pm

      Hehe.

  40. Madamsofo

    June 16, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    God bless you for this post. All the hateful comments just shows how cruel people are. They hate to see others happy. Other people’s pain, sadness and tears gives them so much joy. God will not answer all you evil people’s prayers for toke. toke will continue to attain greater heights, she will never fail! Y’all will never see her downfall, she will keep winning by the grace of God and no weapon formed against her shall prosper. Amen! Y’all need God in your lives.

  41. Bliss

    June 16, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    I’m not going to rush to any conclusion on this matter until maje makes a statement. And if he loves his business and brand, he bera drop one asap. I don’t know who his PRO is, but he/she had bera be at work.

  42. faith

    June 16, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Society has become soooo fake that pple actually hate u wen they see you are REAL. Toke stays winning and she is going higher and higher. Y’all hating cant u see she is a diamond and she is unbreakable. Lol. Take a break and concentrate on your lives to make it better, cos i am sure most of u hating are facing worst situations, if half of wat happened to toke befalls on u , most of u will commit sucide. But look at her she stays smiling. If u waiting for her to break down, may u wait till u perish.

    Toke i am you numero uno fan from Ghana. Reading ur message made my morning :). Stay winning always

  43. babym

    June 16, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    buhahaha u ppl r toooo hilarious! I have tried my best to hold myself rom commenting on this issue but u ppls comments r killing me buhahahaha. I never knew toke was such a gaddam big deal in ur lives! her gist has produced the most comments ever! ahn ahhnn is she that serious to u ppl? and for you clowns chatting total rubbish telling her what she should do and not do, how she should cry and not cry, how its her fault and what not, lool u ppl r the biggest mumu’s ever liveth. If u like don’t face ur life, stay there and be chatting nonsense o.

    And for the rest of you that are getting some kind of sick twisted pleasure from seeing Toke go through all this, the karma that is coming for you is still doing press-ups. U group of ppl r just very sadddd and miserableeee, seriously ask yourself why this gist is sweeting u so much?? if u r not a witch I don’t know what u r mate. It is only witches that revel in other ppls misery.

    Atleast I have a little bit of faith in humanity from those of u decent human beings who have wished the girl well and kept it moving, God will bless u ppl. Toke Makinwa will be just fine.

  44. Pat E

    June 16, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    That’s my girl!

  45. Kim Kardashian

    June 16, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    But wait o, has anyone ever seen Toke wearing her wedding ring? BN team have you? I have seen her at events a couple of times and not once have I seen her wearing her wedding ring. #justaskingo Guys the fact is Toke lives in a lala land. The romantic novels she reads is making her crazy. I can tell you all for fact that Toke is the biggest liar on this earth. The video that recently went viral were Toke claims her husbands ex is crazy etc is either a lie or she definitely wasn’t referring to Ms Anita Solomon. Toke wasn’t it you that Maje used to beat in front of Anita? Wasn’t it you that Maje left hanging at your so called court wedding? Did you not stupidly take him back after that? Toke why did you not discuss all this on Mo Abudu’s show or on your vlog? Why not just tell the truth, admit your mistakes so you can move on cos deep down in your heart you and all your close friends know that Maje will never stop seeing Anita, secret wedding or not. I don’t feel sorry for Toke because she knew all along but decided to stay. “Guard your heart Toke” Maje does not love you!

    • Colour Purple

      June 16, 2015 at 11:07 pm

      Hi Anita, I hope you know that the broom used to sweep out the first wife would be waiting by the corner to be used for the 2nd wife 🙂

    • Manny

      June 17, 2015 at 10:29 pm

      God forbid a man beat up another girlfriend in front of me and I will feel funky with myself. I will start beating him, what nonsense.

  46. o~intuition!

    June 16, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    Florid Narcissistic Personality Disorder !

  47. Girlie O

    June 16, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    This news is now being over flogged. Not a fan of Toke not a hater either I just don’t care enough. Thinking about it Toke already knew about this and they sorted it in house before the news broke Shey? She dated Maje for 12 years according to her how many pregnancies could she most likely have terminated in that period?(Hypothetically speaking). Maybe they all understand their situation (Toke Maje and Anita) so let’s not judge. Matter of fact lets all start to ignore this issue because Toke is going to try and start milking it now. It’s getting old now she needs to keep quiet take time off and reflect. That’s all.

  48. Sleeping

    June 16, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    I sympathize with Toke and do not wish his predicament on any woman… but my gawsh! Toke comes across as so forced, fake, insecure and desperate. So what if she is making money?
    In the first place, perhaps she would not need to write motivational chronicles of narnia if she had not fought, hustled and bullied a man (that clearly did not want to marry her and previously stood her up at the registry) into giving you a ring (that you allegedly bought for yourself). Women we sometimes create the problems we have. Lesson of the day: Do not seize the bae by all means! Wait for the man that worships the ground you walk on.
    *increases AC temperature and goes to bed*

    • JanePublic

      June 16, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Motivated chronicles of Narnia. #dead. ROTFLMAO. BN commenters are better than Comedy Central. Never a dull moment. Don’t go to bed jooor, sit with me and lets gist through this heartburn together. I’ll go make a fresh pot of tea

  49. LILO

    June 16, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    Let’s face it…how many of you would want your brother or relative to marry Toke? She is good for entertainment but who wants a media circus as a wife see? I don’t wish this kinda woman on any man. Whoever marries her must be willing to compromise his privacy and sanity to some extent. She probably want hugged enough as a kid for her to be seeking solidarity on the Internet. Does she not have family? Is she the first career woman? She is an OAP not a neurosurgeon…career ko, disc jockey ni.

  50. Kimberlysexy

    June 16, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    Hmmmm, i only got to know about this Toke lady recently, but with all this stories i think we ladies have to learn from this and also if the rumors i read online are correct. May God console you but you have to be real your self. This Maje guy has been shuttling you and Anita when he dated her for 8yrs and you for 12yrs, the Anitas facebook page still has vacation pictures of she and Maje ( which i saw latest post was 2011). Maje was said to have stood you up at a registry. Hmmm it is serious i know you give R/ship advice n stuff but couldnt you have applied all those techniques to somehow detect some things ( nobody is perfect). You actually thought he was a good and undertanding husband but all the surport he was giving to ur career was also inturn surporting him to be moving up and down with this Anita babe. That Maje couldnt even respect 1yr of marriage, getting some one pregnant 9months into marriage.

    Well i think you know him better and you know what you have faced, you love him really well but i dont think he feels exactly the same towards you. And in reality, him and dat Anita babe are connected for life, that child has brought a link into ur lifes and ur home, they would keep seeing / checking up on each other. calling each other, he will start sending up keep money, he becomes the next of kin and father of her baby, his first child- and dont get jealous becoz he might love dat baby before yours and even want to spend more time with babay and mama. That link is a life time bond. Its well

  51. Bimbo

    June 16, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    So she should ignore her source of livelihood because her husband got another woman pregnant? The height of stupidity!

  52. x-factor

    June 17, 2015 at 12:36 am

    Dear Toke, for a broadcaster /OAP like you, “the NUMBER of E mails” and NOT “the AMOUNT of E mails” is a more appropriate use of EnglIsh Language…..Weldone!

  53. TISH

    June 17, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    BEING STRONG IS NOT STAYING AND TAKING DISRESPECT ALWAYS. THIS IS NOT THE 1ST OR 2ND TYM DIS MAN IS CHEATING ON YOU. SOMETYMS BEING A STRONG WOMAN IS KNOWING YOUR WORTH AND WALKING AWAY. YOU KNEW HIS CHEATING WAYS I HONESTLY THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM LONG TYM. MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS MEANT TO FAIL WITH THE WRONG PERSON. LOVE YOURSELF, BE STRONG AND MOVE PASS THIS DISRESPECTFUL MAN COS DIS WONT BE HIS LAST

  54. Disgusted

    June 17, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    BRUNO! YOU ASS! WHY WOULD YOU POST A GOT Spoiler like that? Have never posted on Bellanaija before but that was cruel and cold! Aaargh!!!

  55. Sir harvey Dent

    June 23, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    You all got jokes.

    Your comments on here have me laughing.

    I just need someone to please explain what “TOKE’s” work is?

    The word “WORK” seems to have been bastardised on this chat forum.

    Quick question, if your BANK (where you save all your money, goes bankrupt, they deny you access to your money) what happens? The CEO resigns and is Jailed! E.g IBRU, Akingbola etc.

    Toke’s is meant to be a “RELATIONSHIP EXPERT”! her VLOGS, how to keep a man, how to catch a man, how to shine your eyes out for a man, BUT you FAILED to keep your OWN “HUSBAND”!

    Make una fear God naa.

    Toke Life is Life, Move on, BUT NEVER live in DENIAL!

    Take sometime out if “NEEDED”, address the situation and move on!

    YOUR NEXT WORDS SHOULD START WITH, “I DIDNT SEE THIS COMING, ITS HIT ME HARD, BUT IT SHALL NOT BREAK ME”….

    Thats a good start.

    God Bless.

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