Anike Afolabi: 5 Valuable Lessons Every Parent Should Imbibe

A few minutes of valuable parenting everyday can help you raise great kids!

We can’t deny how crazily busy our lives can get. There’s always a lot to get through: tasks, deadlines, targets, goals, ambitions, etc. But, I know most parents do not desire that their children get caught in the middle or become the victims of their busyness. So, what can be done? In the midst of life’s busyness, how can we ensure we raise great kids?

Below are suggestions of vital investments we can make in our children, despite our tight schedules. These tips would help us stay connected to our children in ways that matter, validating them and fortifying their esteem. This is not to encourage us to persist in not doing our best to spend quality time with our children, but to highlight ways we can make our ‘short’ everyday interactions meaningful.

Say Something Positive to Your Children Daily
Words often never fade. You might not always have the time for lengthy discussions with your children, but make sure you give your children positive words to remember. Children don’t forget what we do; neither do they easily forget what we say to them. Have a positive line you say to your children practically every day, words that can easily sink into their hearts and influence their lives for good. It could be as simple as- ‘I believe in you’, ‘I am proud of you’, ‘You can do anything’, etc. Tell them every day- make sure you do, no matter how busy you are. You’ve probably heard stories of people who say- ‘my parents always told me I could do anything’, and who indeed achieved great feats. You can pick a line for every month or as you like. Just make sure there is a positive thought you are consistently sinking into your children that can help them think and act better.

Always Ask: ‘Is There Something You’d Like to Tell Me?’
What this does, is that it opens the line of communication. It tells them you are willing to listen if there’s anything they are willing to share. It tells them ‘I am important to Daddy or Mommy, she wants to hear about me and things happening to me’. This is an important question we should always ask our children. And, you can prod further by asking about school, friends, teachers, home, needs, etc. This just might reveal some important things you need to know.
Also, never neglect asking them how they are feeling. It’s ok to clothe, feed, provide shelter and educate our children, but we should never neglect their emotional well-being. Make it a point of duty to ask your children how they are feeling.

Leave Notes for Your Children
Drop surprise notes for them, especially when you don’t get to see them most part of the day. Leaving notes expresses thoughtfulness. It tells them: I’m being thought about. It leaves memories of you around them. It keeps you in their mind for good. The notes could be on anything. Its content could range from compliments, gratitude, to expression of love and faith in them. It could be an opportunity to tell them how much you love them, what you are grateful for about them, inspiring lessons or quotes you would like to share with them, encouraging thoughts, what you want them to believe about themselves, etc. It could be as simple as – ‘Mommy is thinking of you’.

Never Ignore Physical Contact
Be sure to hug, pat, and cuddle with your kids as often as you can. Physical embrace spells love for some children more than others, but no child should be without it. Physical show of affection further validates children, and strengthens their esteem. It makes them feel loved, accepted and validated.

Give Positive Pet Names
There’s something about having affectionate name for kids, even as adults we react better when referred to as sweetheart, dear, etc. There’s just something boosting and empowering about endearing pet names. It creates good vibes and a feeling of being special. The names could be as empowering as referring to them as my champion, my hero, my superhero, honey, princess, precious, etc. Use empowering and uplifting names that would make them feel good about themselves. You don’t need all the time in the world to call these names. It takes only a sec but the impact can be far reaching. Treat them accordingly. Don’t call them queens and kings and treat them like pest. Don’t counter the good work of the names with contradictory actions. Call them who you want them to be.

These tips will take less of your time, but will have amazing impact. You can be a highly effective parent, despite all else you have to do, if you set your mind to it and fill your child’s life with as much positivity as possible.

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