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Princess Simysola: Letter to the Royals

Princess Simysola

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At age 11 I had my first boyfriend, I thought I’d found love; I was young, intelligent, petite and adventurous. I had felt alone and lost in the world and almost seemed like in the midst of the entire crowd, He found me; he called me “his ebony cutey’, he said he loved my smallish body; he said I was sweet, caring and fun to be with; he spoke sweet nonsense to my ears, and I loved every bit of it, I thought he was my kind of man, 3 times my size, six packs, eloquent and a charmer.

I thought we shared something special and magical, but it did not take long (about a month to be precise) before I found out I was just another girl on the queue.

What could I have been thinking, sad but true; that was the beginning of my boyfriend tale.

As years go by, I have fallen in love, been hurt so badly, cried all night long, woken up with swollen eyes, gone into rebound, depression, letting go and moving on.

I have gone round that cycle over and over again, just as a lot of girls have, which makes it seem normal, but then suddenly it dawns on me.

It is not normal to cling to a guy that obviously doesn’t give a heck about you,

It is not normal to stoop your standards low because of some dude,

It is not normal to be in an abusive relationship and show a happy face to the world,

It is not normal to stay with the guy that cheats hoping he’ll pick you,

It is not normal to stay with a guy, who would not support your dreams and aspirations,

It is not normal to live your life waiting for the “ONE”.

The truth is if you do not know whose daughter you are, what values you stand for, your worth as a woman of worth, there is every likelihood you’ll fall for absolutely anything and take whatever crap is thrown at your face.

Like they say, if you would not stand for anything, you’ll fall for everything.

Many times, the root of it all is simply not knowing our worth, we let the world draft our standard and put a price on us.

And so, every day we go through life yearning and searching all of the wrong places for Love & Affection, demeaning our standards to fit in when we have been born to STAND OUT.

The truth is:

Nobody can love you like you do.

Nobody can demean you unless you let them to.

Nobody can take you for granted, unless you give them the opportunity.

It’s time to arise, feel beautiful, sexy, smart and gifted.

We are extremely special in the sight of our “Daddy”

When He created us, He took a step back, sighed and said: “VERY GOOD”.

And so who are we to walk like slaves, when we are princesses in our father’s palace.

Inside of each one of us, is royalty.

We have all been born royals.

Don’t ever let the world lie to you.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime |  Photoeuphoria 

I am Princess Simisola, a lady on a mission with a burning desire to help leaders overcome the scourge of low self esteem & lack of self confidence as it is prevalent in the land today. My Role is to give Hope, that notwithstanding how low the World has made you to feel, you are worth more than a thousand rubies, and there is greatness inside of you that the World requires, that Nigeria is in dire need of. My Message is Simple, In every uniqueness, therein lies greatness.Visit my blog : http://princesssimysola.wordpress.com , or follow me on twitter @princessimysola Instagram; @princesssimysolaNb: I write like I talk…. My styleGod Bless you real good.

24 Comments

  1. tttttt

    June 7, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    I totally aagree with you on this;the first thing is knowing your worth!

  2. biske

    June 7, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    Beautiful piece!

  3. jayda

    June 7, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    Two words princess :

    THANK YOU!
    I think I’m gonna read again. *smiles*

  4. Lois

    June 7, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    A boyfriend at 11 years old? That was form 1 or JSS1… Ok, not to be judgemental. 11 years old ?

  5. A Real Nigerian

    June 7, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    Whenever I read this kind of article, it just reminds me that men are pigs. At least, most of them are. Nigerian men in particular.

  6. PurpleiciousBabe

    June 7, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Well said!!!
    If you know your worth, stick by it.
    Though you may never be respected or applauded by society but stick by it nonetheless.
    After all, your worth i.e. your dignity is the one thing you can hold on to. If you don’t place value on yourself nobody else will.
    I recall a while back I met a dude. We got on well. We liked each others vibe until this dude who only knew me for couple of hours proceeded to invite me… to his house lol. not only that but to chill for 4 days???? 4 whole days??? I can’t get over the fact he only met me couple of hours deep but invited me to his yard(personal space ooo) but for us chil.l.. Chill noni
    I felt insulted sha. .I will leave the rest of you to conclude.
    Dude I only just met you. Like warra heck lol. Its might not be a big deal to most infact it is widely accepted but seriously?your house are we 16?

    Point is: each to their own but pls do not, I repeat invite me to yours house. Bet y???

    • Frances Okoro

      June 9, 2015 at 1:22 pm

      H, I know I am not alone in this absolute “wonder” at naija men “come to my house, come to my house”
      *annoying*

      Already working on an article on it sef…

  7. moni

    June 7, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Great……….

  8. Nenalicious

    June 7, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    @ princess simysola, great job o…. UA misses u o

  9. EllesarisEllendil

    June 7, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    “I thought he was my kind of man, 3 times my size, six packs, eloquent and a charmer.” At 11?????????????? your first love was a Paedophile????

    Ehm, might want to fix that.

    • EllesarisEllendil

      June 7, 2015 at 11:15 pm

      “he said he loved my smallish body”- Hilarious!!!!.

      Aside from the beginning which was very weird!! and the cliche boo hoo boys dumps me, much tears part, I find no problems with this. I really can’t relate with the writers sentiments though seeing as I am Male and the only child with all the positive validation that has given throughout my life. I’ll be mature and keep my thoughts poking fun at this to myself.

      But………But……….

    • beebee

      June 8, 2015 at 9:28 am

      The “I like your smallish body”what the heck?!!!!!!!! and 11 yrs? body 3 times bigger with packs and all. if you are a mother on this platform and don’t teach your girl child she and God have the power to rule, you must burn in hell. the scourge of giving men all the power to abuse a women is enough……

    • Lois

      June 8, 2015 at 9:38 am

      Also to buttress on your point, to the writer and some of us here on this forum; there is time for everything. An 11 year old is a child who should have absolutely nothing to do with love, romance and sexual issues. The mind of a child is not even ready for love and lust , and can be easily influenced to believe in those things that may lead to low self esteem. And we all know the consequence(s) of low self esteem. It could be from mild to extremely fatal. As parents or parents to be or even guidians, we need to let our young girls and ladies know this. What happens most of the time is that when girls gets involved with non-age (or emotional) appropriate relationship, situations arises that girls cannot handle, that in effect starts to chip off gradually emotional strongholds and self esteem. They are easily taken advantage of. Handling that can be painful and exhausting. Let us protect our younger girls and ladies so they don’t have to learn the ‘worth of self-worth’ before they learn in the very hard way

  10. CurvesAndEdges

    June 8, 2015 at 3:24 am

    Wait, you were 11? He was 3 times your size, he had a six pack, he spoke sweet nonsense to your ears and said he loved your smallish body? This is worrisome… Or did you mean to write age 21?

  11. Tosin

    June 8, 2015 at 7:38 am

    This one is not for me. I think it’s for girly girls. Well done tho’

  12. Ready

    June 8, 2015 at 8:17 am

    Yeeeaahh, you lost me at:”,..he said he loved my smallish body; he said I was sweet, caring and fun to be with.. I thought he was my kind of man, 3 times my size, six packs, eloquent and a charmer.”
    Beyond your stating your relationship with a pedophile as though it were normal (please talk to somebody about that), punctuation and wrong use of capital letters made this a bit hard to read.

  13. Californiabawlar

    June 8, 2015 at 10:11 am

    Una even try to reach smallish body, i’m stuck at ‘felt alone in the world at 11’ really? Errrmm…did you mean 17? I’m here trying to figure out what I was up to at eleven, all I can think of is needing the love and validation of my parents/family & friends…yeah I knew about boys, but not at a level where I’d think they’d be the solution to my woes…. Woes? What woes sef? If wanting an extra ‘set of provisions’ counts as woes sha ?

  14. Bimpe

    June 8, 2015 at 10:28 am

    “Many times, the root of it all is simply not knowing our worth, we let the world draft our standard and put a price on us.”

    This doesn’t have to be just for “girly girls”, it is for everyone. For years, I let my father’s view of me determine my self-worth. And let me tell you, his view went up and down depending on his mood, not depending on who or what I am.

    Even my youngest brother also took a cheap shot last week. I fired back so hard, anytime he thinks about me, he will shake small.

    We don’t have to be aggressive as women, but it is important to not allow people use their mouths and their actions to relegate us to somewhere we don’t belong.

    <3

  15. A writers mind

    June 8, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    y”all should take pills that will help u chill. dont bite me but i believe she did not say he was 3x her age, she also said she had a petite body. so lets say they were both in jss2, he could be d tallest boy in class and she is a very smallish girl. what is wrong with peoples reading skills and their imagination?? dont act like a boy never said sweet words to u in secondary schhol and u did not believe it or almost fall for it! well i didnt have my first bf till almost 200l bet please dont judge so u wont be judged! Jesus! people sha! Yea she might have self esteem issues and she has to listen to peoples nonsense to feel good about herself but thats like 60% of nigerian girls, so please read with ur brain opened down like ur palms on ur keyboards.

    • Californiabawlar

      June 9, 2015 at 2:08 am

      Type properly first and then come back to tell us how to think. Yeye fowl wey no fit capitalize or punctuate dey tell us to think as we dey type…how you dey type show wella for your body…hmmmn hmmn.

    • A writers mind

      June 9, 2015 at 11:07 am

      @Californiabawlar really? how old are u? scratch that im probably younger than u are but ure still a no no. sigh. Nigerians! as usual miss d point and insult the person making d point(not that i feel insulted or anything) *yawns* i now resume eating my amala and enjoying the sound of d rain. kindly resume being an ass. ciao

  16. Psychic

    June 8, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Perhaps she had her first crush @ 11…her older cousin who liked to say nice things to make her blush,who called her princess and made her giggle,whom she missed when when he had to go back to uni because daddy n mummy were always too busy to have her time……

  17. Frances Okoro

    June 9, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    And perhaps she made a lot of mistakes, rushing into love when she was 11.
    These things happen you know? Listen to young kids talk these days and you will be amazed.
    Either ways, you can judge someone based on their past, all what happened-mistakes and all culminated in where she is right now.
    Lessons learnt and purpose set.
    Yes, some little 11year old also needs to know that now isn’t the time for a boyfriend. Who’d better tell them than someone who’s been there before?

    God bless you for sharing your story Princess.
    Our worth is only found in God, never in men.

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