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Nicole the Fertile Chick Says Goodbye!… And Finally, You Get Your B.F.P

Nicole The Fertile Chick

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What better way to wrap up this series than to talk about that moment every TTC woman dreams about, when she gets her BFP!!! For those who don’t know, that’s Big Fat Positive! That magical moment when you finally get a positive pregnancy test result!
For a lot of us, on those cold and dreary TTC nights, we would have dreamt of seeing those 2 pink lines, or hearing the “You’re pregnant” pronouncement from our doctor(s). We would have imagined all the emotions we would feel on that wonderful and joyous day…and how we would literally levitate upon receiving such wonderful news. With each failed cycle, the BFP dreams would become more and more vivid, deepening alongside our longing and desire. All we would long for is for the day the prolonged TTC journey would come to end…Until one day, it finally does. And, for many of us, the anticipated delirious joy and happiness are instead replaced by fear and anxiety!
When I got my own positive pregnancy result, shock was my initial reaction. It was my 2nd IVF cycle, and I didn’t realize how jaded I had become, as a result of my failed earlier cycle, until the day before I had decided to test, when I went to buy the pregnancy test kits. As I stared at the various brands at the grocery store, a part of me wondered if I was not just wasting my money. The tests weren’t cheap, and I pondered over the wisdom of spending so much on purchasing these sticks, when it might just lead to disappointment, like the last time. But I bought them anyway. At about 4am the next morning, I walked groggy eyed to the toilet, test stick in hand, and then waited for the 2nd line not to show…as usual. I almost fell of the toilet seat when that ever-so-elusive 2nd line popped up, bold and strong. I immediately ran to get the digital test I had, and for the first time, there it was…Pregnant! For the first few minutes, I just stood there, my entire body shaking, and my heart racing! I didn’t believe this was finally me! After almost 3 years, there I was standing with a positive pregnancy test result. Soon, the shock passed and I found my voice, and motion, and immediately went to wake up my husband, with our wonderful news! And for the next 48 hours, I was on cloud 9…until 2 mornings later, when I woke up to find I was spotting. And that was when the fear took over!

I had no more pregnancy test sticks, so I decided to go for a quantitative beta pregnancy test, which would tell me exactly the level of hCG there was in my blood (hCG is a hormone produced in pregnancy). I had obsessed enough about it to know what would be a healthy number, and what wouldn’t. Luckily, I had a strong number, and the 20 odd home pregnancy tests I subsequently took gave stronger and stronger lines. But I had my heart in my mouth almost the entire pregnancy; first of all worrying about the spotting (which was recurrent almost all through my 1st trimester), then my cervical stitch, then worrying about premature labour, worrying about passing my gestational diabetes test, worrying about how much the girls did or didn’t move, worrying about the actual delivery…For almost every day of those 37 weeks, I had something to worry about…but I really shouldn’t have bothered, because God had everything totally under control and, save for the girls remaining in a breech position, I had an almost textbook pregnancy, and delivery.

A lot of the other TTC women I know had similar panic attacks right from the onset of their pregnancies. A friend of mine, who had had recurrent miscarriages in the past, point blank refused to emotionally connect with her pregnancy, until literally when she was in the delivery theatre. Another one was a teary mess almost from the day her pregnancy was confirmed. She was never short of several morbid “what if” scenarios, and was always waiting for that one bad thing to happen. I’m glad that her premonitions proved unfounded, and she was soon able to settle down and enjoy her pregnancy.

It is not surprising for TTC women to be afraid when they finally get this wonderful thing they have been praying for. After so many cycles of heartbreak and getting their hopes dashed, it can sometimes be difficult to believe that, yes indeed, they are well and truly pregnant!

However, whatever emotions you might have, it is important to see your doctor as soon as it is possible. Whilst it might be too early for a scan, or to listen to the heartbeat, your doctor can decide whether one needs to be on any form of hormone support, specifically progesterone, as it is a very important hormone for sustaining a pregnancy (until the placenta starts producing enough of it, towards the end of the 1st trimester), and is deficient in a good number of women with fertility issues. Also, those first few weeks are the best time to agree with your doctor on whether, or not, you will be getting a cervical stitch (cerclage) at the end of your 1st trimester (this is important especially for women with a history of late term miscarriages, who are classified as having an “incompetent uterus”). It is important to have your doctor monitor you all the way, and God willing, you will have your beautiful baby/babies in the end!

I’ve really loved every minute of the 42 weeks of this column, and am so grateful for the acceptance and support with which it was received. Everything I know about TTC, I learnt from the school of life, so I feel that it is time to give way for a more expert, and less subjective, view on fertility issues. From the bottom of my heart, I would love to thank every single one of you, for all your support, all your comments, and all your criticism…all of which have been well received! I have met so many wonderful women from this platform…many of whom are now members of our community, and a few of whom have even become personal friends of mine. But I want to say a very special thank you to the wonderful Doctor Chige! If you’re reading this Doc, thank you! You always backed up my own layman perspective with your medical point of view, and I’m so grateful for that! I hope to be able to meet you one day…you’re a real star!

So, as I retreat to my fertility community, I would like to wish everyone still trying the very best of luck! I pray you get your happy ending sooner than you think!
Baby dust to all, my good people!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang

Nicole is a woman in her late 30s, with a passion for all things fertility related. She suffered infertility for the first 3 years of her marriage, and found it extremely isolating. After she had her kids, she started The Fertile Chick (www.thefertilechickonline.com) to create a community and happy-place for all women, in various stages of the fertility journey.

28 Comments

  1. Adenike

    August 17, 2015 at 8:13 am

    I’m not TTC, but this column has given me so much useful information. God bless you tremendously for using your voice and experience to help others. That’s called shining your light!

  2. oj

    August 17, 2015 at 8:18 am

    why, Nicole, why?!!!!!

    BellaNaija, I protest!!!

    • MissSilentReader

      August 17, 2015 at 8:52 am

      I protest too. Nicole don’t go!!

  3. k

    August 17, 2015 at 8:22 am

    Nicole, are you leaving us here? Some of us wake up on Mondays to rush here to read your post oo. Anyway, since we know where to find you, all the best and thanks for your candid posts which helped some of us keep our heads above the waters

  4. tolu

    August 17, 2015 at 8:48 am

    i will miss you nicole . i always look forward to reading your article every monday morning . God bless you so mch .

  5. Anonymous

    August 17, 2015 at 9:09 am

    Adon undesten…BN, why is Nicole leaving? Are you guys stopping this column or what? I have learnt so much from this place. Please don’t go. Got married last month. My ovulation should be sometime this week but I am charting it using an OPK which I am starting today. I know maybe I shouldn’t and that I should just let nature take its course. I don’t think I have anything to fear but at least I can help nature along. I and hubby are still honeymooning so getting him to have constant sex in the next six days would not be an issue and I pray that after two weeks I would get my BFP!!!

  6. vien

    August 17, 2015 at 9:18 am

    evry monday,i made sure i read all nicoles articles ..you are indeed a blessing…baby dust to me…AMEN…….plz continue….. Uche of bella 9ja do sumthing plz

  7. Anonymous

    August 17, 2015 at 9:28 am

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time. I just got my Big Fat Positive and this explains all my emotions. I trust in God and wish all TTC couples the very best.

  8. KKKK

    August 17, 2015 at 9:31 am

    @ oj i support you. Bella Naija we protest!!!!! #bringnicoleback…………. This is my weekly best column on bellanaija. So sad we won’t hear from Nicole here again. I am TTCing. This column always encourages me with hope that it will be positive one day and very soon. Another IVF failed few days ago. I felt like my world has ended. This is the first time I am saying a word on it. The past few days have been soaked in tears and coming this morning reading this beautiful article on “POSITIVE” result. What a beautiful way to start a “new life” because I literally died last week. Thank you Nicole for putting a smile on my face and brightening up my day. Am encouraging myself this morning after reading this article with these words, ‘where there is life, there will be many many POSITIVE results very very soon’. Amen!!!!!………………….. Just wanted to talk to someone before the burden weigh me down.

    • Iwillhavechildren

      August 17, 2015 at 10:17 am

      Hey babe everything would be perfect in the right time. My aunts had 7 failed ivfs, guess what? Today she has 3 kids 2boys and a girl without trying!!! After 11 years and giving up. Yours would be different IJN because you would no 7 failed ivfs and you wouldn’t wait for that long.Calm down and say Jesus take the wheel.. God is the giver of life and ask him to direct your steps when he is ready to give you, Don’t fight it and don’t stress over it. I myself have been waiting 5 years for another one with 2mcs in between my wait. I have my daughter before though but I still understand. Smile, laugh and be happy. Youll be fine.

  9. Ngee

    August 17, 2015 at 9:42 am

    I love you Nicole. Thanks so much. I have learnt a lot from you though am not TTC,am 35 weeks gone. I pray for supernatural delivery for me and all pregnant women. I also pray God remembers those trying to conceive, Amen.

    • Ann

      August 17, 2015 at 10:08 am

      I am almost 32 weeks gone and praying for a supernatural birth too. May God grant us a supernatural birth in Jesus name. Amen!

  10. Dp

    August 17, 2015 at 9:50 am

    From all I have read I can conclude that you are such a beautiful person in and out. God bless you and i wish you all the very best in your future endeavors. Will really miss you ohhhh cos i always look forward to this article every Mondays. My love to your beautiful children

  11. olamicome

    August 17, 2015 at 10:26 am

    #bringnicoleback….nicole even though I visit your website regularly and I follow you on instagram,but you and atoke are the only thing that brings me on Bella naija every Monday morning. I just got my BFP after TTC for a year,ur article during this one year was a pillar of support and hope. Nicole please don’t go!!!!

  12. oj

    August 17, 2015 at 11:02 am

    BellaNaija, I hope this is not related to some people’s negative comments regarding Nicole’s post last week concerning the boy-girl child issue o!

    I protest o!!!! Nicole has every right to express her feelings even if it came across to some people as harsh.

    I’m not married nor TTC but I appreciate Nicole’s articles. it inspires fellow feeling amongst women. it helps us who are not TTC empathize with those who are. God knows we all need to learn empathy in this cold increasingly loveless world.

  13. zeebaby

    August 17, 2015 at 11:25 am

    Oh Nicole! Pls don’t go! Am 17 weeks preg n I always read ur post. I understand d emotions. Its bn a rollercoaster ride. Starting from d constant spotting in d first 2 months n having to take progesteron. Then suddenly, having a uterine prolapse at (first pregnancy???). Bn placed on bedrest, unable to go to work! I keep asking God for a supernatural birth. I can’t wait to hold my healthy baby.

  14. protester

    August 17, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Please bring Nicole bk!! I’m not ttc but I rush here to read ur article every Monday! I have learnt a much from u Nicole. Please don’t go!!!

    I remember when I got my bfp I was sure it was going to be negative

  15. Meggi

    August 17, 2015 at 12:24 pm

    Pls Nicole don’t go. I really enjoy reading your articles every monday. I m not married but I have a sister who was TTC, so I just come here, read and give her the details and all that, I am so happy becos she just got her BFP today. I am happy. Baby dust to all TTC.

  16. Thatgidigirl

    August 17, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Aaawww Nicole pls don’t go. I got hooked after your article on PCOs, it put me at ease and made me see the condition in a different light. Whatever you go on to do next, I wish you the best and I’m sure you would impact just as many lives.

  17. missy me

    August 17, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    Nicole gave me the courage to seek extra help after diagnosis with early ovarian failure. A case of literally no eggs left. The wrost part about seeking a donor was that both my husband and I are mixed race and seeking a full Nigerian egg donor would have meant people asking me why my child looks so different etc. I contacted Nicole and without any judgement she calmed me down and actually advised me to see out a donor internationally that looked close enough to me. I followed her advice and found help at a European clinic and will be getting ivf in 1 month.

    Nicole may God bless you beyond abundance. I am heading towards my first IVF and I pray for a BFP….my very Nigerian father has been prayig and fasting for the last 3 months or so for this miracle. If for nothing I found hope, i found the love of God and i all i am grateful for the opportunity to evenattempt pregnancy.

    I know after I deliver I am going to have “an ignorant” over paparazzi filled one year party for my babies…completewith an animal petting zoo etal.

    My prayer for every woman is that we all carry our children and witness God’s love in his time.

    Nicole God bless you and your ministry.

  18. Blessedheart

    August 17, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Nicole, please don’t go. I actually thought you were starting to talk about the pregnancy period and I was looking forward to it.
    Amen to your prayers @Ngee
    I was TTC for 2and half years though the doctors didn’t find anything wrong with my husband and I, except that the lining of my womb was quite thick. It happened suddenly when I didn’t expect. Right now, the issue is dealing with the fear of miscarriage. I have cramps quite often and I have to check everytime I go to toilet to ensure no spotting. I recently realised that there is no account of miscarriage in the Bible so I’ve been holding on to that.

  19. Chige

    August 17, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Nicole……oh Lord,I am indeed honored to be associated with your article. Thanks a lot for doing what you do. I look forward to it every Monday and it has helped me in my own way even though I’m not TTC.I like every other avid reader will miss you dearly. And yes we’ll plan a meeting soon hopefully. I’m a little emotional now o….will come back to comment on the topic.

  20. fabulicious

    August 17, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    All i can say is that you have been amazing. God bless you real good. E-hugs.

  21. jinkelele

    August 17, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    Great 42 weeks Nicole

    Lots of love

  22. DDO

    August 17, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    We will miss Nicole..Thank goodness we know where to find her! http://www.thefertilechic.com

  23. Alias

    August 18, 2015 at 12:29 am

    This column has been such a breath of fresh air. An open forum to discuss issues of fertility which is such a taboo in our society. Thank you for bringing an excellent balance between your opinion and accurate medical information. This article especially describes the fear that all pregnant women feel. I didn’t realise how much worrying was involved in being pregnant until I conceived myself. Thank you Nicole for being vulnerable, your reward will be both here and in heaven.

  24. BNGeek

    August 18, 2015 at 4:18 am

    Thank you Nicole,
    U inspired and educated me with this column.
    It has helped many girls/ladies around me.
    Looking forward to continue the journey with u on ur website.
    God bless you.e- hugs

  25. IVIE

    August 18, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    HAVE BEEN A SILENT READER FOR LONG……I MUST SAY I LOOK FORWARD TO READING THIS COLUMN. TO YOUR WEBSITE I GO THEN!

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