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BN Reader Sochi shares the Sweet Uplifting Story of the Birth of His Son After 5 Miscarriages in 5 Years of Marriage

BellaNaija.com

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***

Where do I begin?

We met in that pernicious year of youth service and having built a friendship through every moment over that year, we decided to take the dive before we threw our frayed corper shun caps in the air upon passing out. I’d like to say we started planning our lives together from then. We got married in 2010, having been friends and dated for four years.
Months went fast after the wedding – we had planned to not have a child till after six months so that we could spend that time getting to know each other in our new role as husband and wife before a baby could change us faster than we could imagine. Within a matter of three months my wife took in and we experienced a flurry of emotions over our first child-to-be.

We went through the motions:medical check-up to confirm the pregnancy, making lifestyle changes – so she ate right and wasn’t stressed by work at home or the office. We couldn’t have been more careful. Then, one day, we went on a routine check-up and scan. My wife lay on the table while the doctor ran his scanner over her belly. He asked questions he already had answers to, wiped his scanner clean and began again, asking the same questions and finally ended by contradicting himself before breaking the news to us that the foetus was not growing.

This was new terrain to us: we had never lost a baby before. It was easier, perhaps for my wife. Forgive me, but by this I mean that, unlike me, she could identify the emotions that came over her when met with this circumstance. She had a handle on her emotions and faced them without denial. She wept, grieved and shopped while I watched.

By the fifth year of our marriage, one failed (painfully expensive) IVF procedure and four more miscarriages, the pain had sunk to where succour could hardly reach. We turned to God in self-examination and prayers. I’ve learnt that it is easy to wax evangelical in the face of adversities or despair; the truth, however, is that over this time our hearts and minds were unison in finding the same answers to the same questions.

After our fifth miscarriage last year, we decided to stop. Stop crying. Stop blaming ourselves. Stop asking God why or why not. Stop fussing over what we ate or didn’t eat. Stop blaming our life choices. We resolved to live as God wanted us to live and maybe even go on a vacation this year.

The New Year brought new targets and new experiences with a job change and a focus to make the planned vacation a reality. However, one morning in February, my wife woke before me, so that by the time I turned over in my waking, I saw her standing over me with a pregnancy test stick and two pink stripes. Why was this announcement different from the rest? Not much. Before that day, I would have congratulated her blandly and mechanically gone through the check-ups and hospital visits expecting to hear the same result. But not this time.
I only said “This is the one!” and I refused to have this conviction swayed by any doctor’s doom report or signs. I refused to believe anything that did not support this conviction. We passed the 12-week mark and every week after passed slowly, leading to this moment.

***
The moment when I held my son in my arms and a flux of awe-inspired words flowing through my head:
The first thing I said when I looked upon your face was: “So much hair!” The nurse wouldn’t let me carry you as she hustled you from room to room between tasks of taking measurements and wiping fluid off your body.
God knows I wanted to smell you. The mat of hair on your head and suggestions still on your face. I watched while you drew your first breaths of oxygen through your nostril. You didn’t give any trouble. But you cried! Oh, you cried. All babies cry but you’re my first and your cry moved me. Like none I had ever heard could. Tut-tut-tut! Don’t cry!
My first words to you then were: “It’s okay. What do you need?”

I needed the words I could speak to you to bring warmth, confidence and love closer to your skin than that amniotic fluid that stuck to your skin the colour of goat cheese; I needed the words to say you’re a man now. You made it. YOU made it.

I couldn’t stop staring…hold you in my stare…a little longer. It’s the same way I will when words begin to drop from your lips like pearls. I’ll rub your head, if you’ll let me… listen to you when you find words to shape your wishes like plucking an apple mid-air.

My breath will become yours. I’ll carry your name over mine. I’ll see you as you are now even when spot your first grey.
I remember this giddiness in my knees and the vacuum in my head. You found your finger to suck and I couldn’t help but laugh. And when you find my finger to hold, I pray you never let go.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Hongqi Zhang (aka Michael Zhang) 

***Image used for illustrative purposes only

67 Comments

  1. Queen B

    October 25, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    Wow. Very touching story. God is NEVER late.

  2. mrs chidukane

    October 25, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    I’m deeply moved by this. God bless your family and I pray everyone who desires this amazing gift receives it. It truly is one of the best things in life, words cannot describe it.

    • Uche

      October 25, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      Amen

  3. Gap

    October 25, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Awwwwww. God be praised. Shld I pray dis way”u shall recover all you have lost”? Hahahahahaha. That’s up to you both. I celebrate with ur family.#happymood#

  4. junie

    October 25, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    this has to be the most beautiful thing i have heard and read this week. May this child bring you s much joy. May he love and know love.

  5. Happy!

    October 25, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    I’m so grateful to God for you two! God really did redeem all that time.
    Welcome little A***! May you give your parents joy and pride all your days. Amen.

  6. FitMrsfats

    October 25, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    Oh my! This made me cry! What a beautiful surprise and lovely experience to go through. I pray that the Lord bless your family. Started writing about mine on aprillaugh.net. You should read too. xx

  7. nene+

    October 25, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Congrats and many more siblings for your baby!

  8. Pat

    October 25, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    Awww this is so sweet and Congrats 🙂

  9. Oprah

    October 25, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    Oh my! This is so so beautiful.

  10. hauwa

    October 25, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    Oh my. This is very touching. May God bless you and ur family. Wish my hubby cld be dat supportive and emotional. Sometimes I feel like am alone in ds journey to motherhood.

  11. bibi

    October 25, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    congratulations anne and sochi.so happy for you guys.God bless your family

  12. Cherry

    October 25, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    Oh wow! How could you be going through this much and still be strong for all of us???? We never knew. Everyone, I know this guy and he was like a father to even grown ass men and women like us during our Msc days. Sochi had an answer to everything and even when it seemed like the world was coming to an end, he had this calm reassuring smile that made everything fine. Still don’t know how you managed to listen to all our ramblings and ventings without telling us to just shut it. Where did you draw all that strength from? You knew even our ‘personal’ problems but we didn’t even know this about you. You’re amazing! God bless you and Anne. God’s restoration has only just started?

  13. Vortex

    October 25, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    The things people have to go through… Big congrats! Nothing will take away your joy and this beautiful gift will be followed by many more. May God also grant all others seeking for the fruit of the womb their desires.

  14. oyinda

    October 25, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    Congrats Sochi,

    I am happy for you. May God make him a source of joy to you always.

    And i pray for mine too, Been TTC for over 7 years.

  15. Tosin

    October 25, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    ohun t’o ba dara n’maa ra f’omo mi (who remembers that song, omo l’aso)

    what joy! congrats.

    • sultana

      October 25, 2015 at 8:24 pm

      I do! Golden oldies

  16. Fifi

    October 25, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    I’m still crying. Can’t believe Sochi was going through this and beaming at all of us when we came to trouble him with our “woes”. I still don’t believe this. Sochi and Anne, I’m deliriously happy for you both. God bless you!

    This is encouraging for everyone out there who is beginning to give up on a dream. There’s an appointed time. It may tarry. But all you need to do is hold on. WAIT. Just a little longer…

  17. Bimb

    October 25, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    Am so happy for you guys, God still exists. This is my journey unfortunately. My reality. All BN family, please pray for me, am 5years in marriage by July. It’s just me and hubby, no children yet. Am believing that come July next year, I’ll have a joy and girl for the long wait. Please put me in your prayers, it has not been easy @ all but this God has been faithful. Everything after marriage has been positive, except a pregnancy test.nits a long lonely road to go through but am still hoping and believing amidst doubts and curious eyes looking at me and wondering what is happening.
    It will happen for me I know and come July I’ll testify and make reference to today. This post just talked to me. Thanks again for sharing. God bless us all

    • Pastor O

      October 25, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      For you and everyone else looking up to God, he has heard your prayers and you shall testify by this time next year. I have never posted my comment but I felt led in my spirit to reassure you that God has heard your cry…

    • Eke

      October 25, 2015 at 6:16 pm

      Amen. Standing with you in prayer, joining my faith to yours and thanking God in advance because YOUR TIME IS HERE.

    • Blessed

      October 25, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Laye laye, it cant be your reality o because your reality is Christ and
      He that has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ, is Faithful. Just settle that in your heart

      Have you ever heard about the Healing School by Pastor Chris. Its amazing, words cant even begin to describe it and its free too. You can check the website and watch inspiring testimonies. they will certainly fire up your faith and assurance in the one you serve.
      You might even make up your mind to attend.
      enterthehealingschool.org/home/itv/index.php?c=HSL#

      If you have questions, please drop your mail and i’ll write you.
      May you bask in Gods joy that is unspeakable and full of glory, God bless you.

    • Tari

      October 25, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      May you carry seed and bring forth in due season. May the sound of rejoicing at the arrival of a sound healthy baby visit your home.
      While you await answers to your prayers, kindly revel in the many positives and blessings that surround you and your husband.

    • chu

      October 26, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      God will do it for you, you shall testify.

    • Idomagirl

      October 27, 2015 at 2:21 am

      We are praying for you. God will grant you your heart’s desires and meet you at your point of need.

  18. chizzy

    October 25, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    Am so happy for you Sochi. May u and your wife experience more bundles of joy in the years to come

  19. The Buttery Hotness

    October 25, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Oh my goodness. You guys, I know Sochi on personal level and it’s amazing how you never know what kind of struggles your friends may be going through. Funny enough, I was chatting with him last month and asked after his wife…then I wanted to ask if they’d had a child yet but thought it would have been awkward if they hadn’t. So I asked nothing. A few days ago, he put up a photo of his son and I was like, welp, I should have gone ahead and asked. Today, he puts this link up and I just…i don’t know, I’m just torn between elation and sadness. Sadness for the ones lost and happiness for this one who will one day change the world.
    Sochi, I pray for every good thing for this child. He will be a great man and a source of never ending blessings to you and the Mrs. God bless this little one scatter. Thank you for sharing this story so that people going through this can draw stength from it.
    God will forever be a boss. Thank you so much, Daddy and You have done for my friend, please do for others in the same situation. Amen

  20. Hotchick

    October 25, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Hi Bimb,

    It took my sister 4 /5 years to have her first baby. She had a couple miscarriages over the years. But, she just had her 3rd baby this year, so I completely empathize.

    I was at DayStar today (honestly I’m so not the best Christian but I love God) and the message resonated with me so I’d share with you.

    It was on faith and believing.. i.e. truly seeing or having 100% confidence in something which you don’t see in fact, and then acting on it. Also he said, “what you believe is what you attract”, “what you believe is what you become” and ” what you believe is what you get”.

    I know God is still in the business of doing miracles. and in so many different ways. I’d join you in believing for that baby. Have a great Sunday with tons of big hugs from me.. and if you’d like additional support, happy to connect you with my sister.

    • sultana

      October 25, 2015 at 8:24 pm

      Thanks for this message. God bless you

  21. Enitan

    October 25, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Wow. A very big congratulations. This is a true attestation that delay isn’t denial. I celebrate you both and pray for God’s Grace to guide you both and provide necessary resources.
    Where is the parry happening?

  22. Tari

    October 25, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    Well crafted words aptly matching a touching story of triumph over adversity.
    May you continually rise above and may your offspirng never bring you sorrow.

  23. ChidiEbere

    October 25, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    Wow!Wow!!Wow!!!
    I’m awe-stricken….God bless you Sochi…
    Reading this testimony…all I can say is Thank you Lord!

  24. Dr K

    October 25, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Congratulations! Amazing testimony. God is always good.

  25. Olayemi

    October 25, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    I’m going through a lot now and all I can read through this is “God is still in the business of miracles”. That is all I can see. I have learnt a lot from this, to carry on without faze and to help others even in our own desperation. I repeat – “God is still in the business of miracles”. God bless you for this post.

  26. Seundaniels

    October 25, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    Thank God for the grace to stand firm in Him thru the years of wait. May your faith be stronger in Jesus name. @ hauwa, am sure your hubby loves you more than you know, he is just overwhelmed by the situation. Remember, we are stronger than eachother. Pray for him More. Cheers.

  27. Mizzy

    October 25, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    Wow. Amazing r his deeds only if we we kip n hold on to faith. May d desires of yerning mothers be granted in Jesus name.

  28. sultana

    October 25, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    This is so beautiful! Congrats guys and God bless you for sharing. Been trying to conceive for about a year now, did a myomectomy some weeks back and I believe God is still in the business of answering prayers as evidenced by your story.
    Please pray for us too, that the incomparable God will bless us with our twins in Jesus name!

  29. Toyin

    October 25, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    This year has been very tough for myself and my family,I honestly thought our lives would be in a better place now but God knows best.This story brought me to tears and I know the God that did it for you will bless my family as well.

    • Idomagirl

      October 27, 2015 at 2:22 am

      *hugs* God will do it, don’t lose faith

  30. Saint Tracy

    October 25, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    5 miscarriages in 5 years, Lord we can’t ask questions, this is an adbridged version of the story. The pain of evacuating 5 miscarriages, rhe uncertainty and midnight prayers and confessions father lord we thank you for this family and the families of others who are waiting for you .

    • Noms

      October 26, 2015 at 7:32 am

      Hmmm, I was with my sister when she evacuated her miscarried baby, I can tell you the pain can be better imagined. God bless this couple and now the children will start pouring in. God be praised.For every one prayer we have ever prayed, God heard us.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      October 26, 2015 at 11:41 am

      What you say is so true – every one of our prayers have already been heard but the pain of waiting on the answer… it can be excruciatingly hard (and I speak as one of the multitude in the waiting room)… however, our waiting doesn’t diminish His Omniscience so here’s praying that all of us in that room will find the Patience to stay grounded, even in times of great doubt.

      This was a very, very beautiful testimony. Many thanks for sharing it, Sochi.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      October 26, 2015 at 2:39 pm

      Some of us have absconded from God’s waiting room. Some of us are present in person but not in Spirit, mouthing spiritual talismans and bible quotes as is expected of us. Some us are, well… just numb in God’s waiting room.: Not caring, neither wanting. Just living our lives by rote and what is expected of us and forgetting what it is we are even waiting for. I have been all three and more of the latter these past months.

      I remember listening to Juanita Brynums “I don’t mind waiting”. There is a line, “Its a privilege God and its an honor to wait on you, Lord”. Hopefully, I would get to the point where I can appreciate that again. Right now, I live my life for people. Helping where I can and bringing unexpected smiles to faces.

      @Sochi, your comments are few but notable hereon. I remember thinking once that I wished you commented more often. Your story was evocative and I could literarily reach out and touch the emotions. Thank you for this truly memorable piece and for these tears am trying to hide from my nosy (but well meaning) colleagues.

      Now give that Breathe of God a huge kiss from all of us at BN and even if he ever lets go, he would always find his way home. True as the Gospel, daddy.

  31. Ify

    October 25, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    All I’ve learned from this experience is to stay strong and believe GOD in times of adversity…There is always an end to every problem. Congrats Sochi and Anne! God bless the Baby.

  32. Iny

    October 25, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    Brought tears to my eyes… I pray God’s blessings on your family

  33. aaewhy

    October 25, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    God is great. Congratulations

  34. Lola

    October 25, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    This is so beautiful. We thank God for this miracle and the faith you guys had. God bless you family

  35. Neene

    October 25, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    Unless u have travelled this road, you may never understand the pain of TTC or experiencing a miscarriage, not to mention five. I praise God with u my brother, friend and buddy. Your joy is my joy. God is awesome.

  36. Nnenna

    October 25, 2015 at 11:45 pm

    That day finally came. The much awaited bundle of joy. I carried Sochi’s pain while trying earnestly to encourage him as much as i could. He told me once that they were God parents to a number of kids….and I told him that God is preparing them for their own bundle….. as soon as my phone rang that faithful day, I just picked up and started shouting without even a hello…….God I awesome……Congrats Sochi and Ann…

  37. Rukayat Owolabi

    October 26, 2015 at 3:02 am

    God is great and the comments show how selfless the husband is. You don’t know what a person going through.. Congratulation Mr Sochi, I don’t know you, but I share your joy.

  38. trinity

    October 26, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Awesome! Congratulations my brother and my sweet regards to your wife and the lil man.God bless u guys. Rev,12V11

  39. Chiedu Okafor

    October 26, 2015 at 6:22 am

    Am so so proud of you dear Cuz. I remember when you called to tell me I had to leave my desk and go to the office kitchen to scream my heart out and allow my eyes moisten with joy!!! God bless y’all bro. See u soon.

  40. BlueEyed

    October 26, 2015 at 6:44 am

    Such an inspiring testimony, just a similar testimony was shared in church this Sunday by a member on behalf of her sister who had 9 miscarriages in the space of 5 years, but when God showed up he gave her double for her trouble (twins) and she is expecting a third baby presently. All glory returns to God, because no one but him could do this.

  41. Mimi May

    October 26, 2015 at 8:50 am

    So touching. Cried.. God can never be late. The steadfastness of the Lord never ceases. His mercy and His grace never come to an end. I celebrate you guys and I key into your blessing. Still TTC.

  42. Nneoma

    October 26, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Sochi -, my MSc Class Presido! Wow! What can I say? Where can I start? Sochi made sure we didn’t fight unnecessary battles at SMC, Sochi very calmly made sure everything was right with the class. I still don’t know how we were so lucky to have elected you. We knew Anne too and we loved her as we loved you, but we did not know you were passing through this much pain o! I am sooo sooo happy for you. So happy for Anne. It feels like FT6 baby and it feels to me like the time is right. And knowing who you are, I know that God just blessed this baby, with the best Father he could have asked for!

  43. Jacob

    October 26, 2015 at 9:33 am

    This is a beautiful song! We are witnesses. All glory be to God.

  44. Vivian

    October 26, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Faithful God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ever Faithful. I had tears in my eyes as i read. God bless your family now and always!

  45. Rita

    October 26, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Awesome God. a well deserving congratulation to our presido FT6. what a testimony! what I learnt beyond what was written is the testimony to the spirit of resilience that everyone that knew Sochi and Anne can atest to. It is not about having a baby any which way possible but a believe in God that though it tarries HE WILL SURELY DO IT. I also waited 5years and during my msc I became pregnant for the very first time in my life. I just have an assurance in my spirit that I will see my baby alive. The difference between the other miscarriages and this wonderful gift of GOD IS FAITH. FAITH without any doubt in d face of difficulty. It makes the difference. God bless Azuh’s Prince charming IJN.

  46. Nneka Okpalefe

    October 26, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    The God we serve is not a failing God! He is a miracle worker, I shared in your pain but today I witness this testimony in your life, Dear Brother Sochi and Anne the good Lord has taken away all our pains and replaced it with happiness and joy unlimited… tears will be for joy from this day forward… I love you guys so much, we welcome your son as he has come to prove the devil is a liar Amen! Welcome my great nephew!

  47. Idomagirl

    October 27, 2015 at 2:26 am

    5 miscarriages! People are really going through stuff. Kai.

    What an amazing testimony! My biggest prayer is that my faith remains unshakeable even on my darkest days. There is still a God in Zion and He changest not.

    God bless your family Sochi. May this testimony and many more remain permanent in Jesus name

  48. tevin anyali

    October 27, 2015 at 10:57 am

    Soch. Truly an inspiring story. I celebrate your family for the courage , maturity u exhibited those dark moments. U are an evidence of God’s undiluted grace. Congrats

  49. tevin anyali

    October 27, 2015 at 10:59 am

    I celebrate God for the strength He gave u guys. U exhibited great maturity, understanding and wisdom. U are a clear testimony of God’s undiluted grace. Congrats

  50. ishiodu ifeyinwa

    October 27, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Simply put, God’s time is surely d best. May God bless ur baby

  51. Ronke

    October 27, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    ……am in tears reading this wonderful testimony. Our God is ever faithful and true to His Word. He is an Impossibility Speacilaist. I know Anne very well and our wedding dates were just 2 weeks apart and am still ttc. I key into this testimony for my own bundle of joy

  52. omo naija

    October 29, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    Very inspiring….God bless you home and family.

  53. Julie

    November 7, 2015 at 12:03 am

    God is faithful, may you continue to be fruitful and multiply by his grace.

  54. mayorlopez

    December 2, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Congrats Sochi…am so happy for you…May God Bless your Bundle of Joy!!! Thanks for sharing your testimony..this will rekindle our Hope in God and further re-establish that God is never Late!!!!

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