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Ali Baba wants to know…Does the Guy Always have to go on his Knees with a Big Proposal?

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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Comedian Ali Baba is one to speak his mind as candidly as possible and in his latest Instagram post he goes on about proposals and the whole “razzmatazz” surrounding it.

He wrote:

It’s not every man that goes on one knee to propose. Some do the two knees. And I have seen many men who did not even kneel at all. I have known couples who had dated and become soooooo embedded that when the time came they just knew. There was no “will you marry me?” Question. The guy got the ring, it fitted. They fixed dates and every body was happy. I agree, what is what doing is worth doing well. I had a good laugh when I thought about my own proposal… Because asking will you marry me would have just been an overkill. Yes ke! I don ask tire. So when the day came, it’s me SEF that now said Ehen, you didn’t even say anything again about that marriage talk. May be its just me, some relationships get to a point, it just awards different waivers. And that is what I am about today. There are some people who are still sticking to, he must go down on one knee. It must be at a waterfront… You be mammie water? Others say he must not do it at home. It must be at a cinema, market square, concert, mama put, just after church service, at a bus stop… ( NA conductor you wan marry?) I take beg GOD you, if you have checked out the vitals, and they all checked out in your list, waive some cosmetic stuff. Stuff like he must have 6 packs, stay on the island, have broad shoulders, pedigree, have a mustache, Mohawk, always in suit, drive an SUV, have a Ph.D., speak spree spree and have pointed nose… Waivers don’t mean you don’t know what’s up. Or that you don’t have standards. You just look ahead for the overall good of all concerned. So if he is lying on the bed or in the bathroom having a bath and says KEMI, there is a box there on the dresser, is you ring. Check if it fits. So we can start the other arrangements, my sister, if he is a good man, forget going down on one knee. The man is already down for you, heads shoulders knees and toes. Don’t humble him any further. BTW, does going on one knee when he proposed guarantee anything? I think it’s up to you. Even people who are on their knees daily as pastors, sometimes don’t em em,,, never mind. So my dear brothers, anyhow you can, once she qualifies, just do it. And to my sisters when he does do it, take your thing jare.

 Icsnaps | Dreamstime.com

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

48 Comments

  1. Rrrrrrr

    November 25, 2015 at 12:37 pm

    Yessssssss

  2. Gerry

    November 25, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    Well I didn’t get proposed to. After dating for a couple of months, I asked where we were headed and he said marriage of course and that was it! Happily Married 4 years this December.

    • Ola Wally

      November 26, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      Beautiful! God bless your marriage the more.
      Wally

  3. Lee

    November 25, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    This got me laughing and thinking at the same time.. As much as i am a lady and i want that special guy to go on his knees, i wont mind getting my Ring in any form ooooo… The Good thing and news is that Am going to spend the rest of my Life with that special Person that Crack and pisses the hell out of me.. Alibaba God Bless you for this… Ladies Wise Up..

  4. gurl_wendy

    November 25, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Sorry to digress but this article brought to mind something that’s been on my mind, why must the bride kneel down when she’s feeding the groom the cake, when did that start?, white people that brought the tradition of feeding each other the cake and brought the whole wedding cake idea sef don’t kneel down ha ha ha; so where did this one now come from, and why do people all accept it as if it’s the norm?

    • frank

      November 25, 2015 at 1:43 pm

      why do you also want to be head of the family. The answer to your question is simple there can only be one head of the family. Normally homage is paid by kneeling. it doesnt make u stupid or anything

    • gurl_wendy

      November 25, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      Errrmm, who said anything about wanting to be head of the family what does that have to do with cake, in your bid to establish your male dominance you missed what the question was, please can someone else give a more intelligent answer, thanks.

    • Engoz

      November 25, 2015 at 3:12 pm

      It is important to separate the African tradition from the Christian religion. And I find out we tend to intertwine the two together. Since headship is biblical, this is what is required of the biblical head and that is to love the wife. Biblical love is one of a purposeful sacrifice to the other. Christian religion requires a sacrificial position of the head exemplary of Jesus Christ who washed the feet of his disciples. In John 13:15, after he washed the disciples feet, He said, I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. If you require your wife to kneel for you, you have to do that first as the man. What you expect your wife to do for you, you have to do it first. Christ is the example of headship and John makes it clear that We love each other because He loved us first.

      Now in the African tradition, love as sacrifice is what women do.
      In Christian religion love as sacrifice is expected from men.
      Now depending on your beliefs, you need to ask yourself a question does my christian faith trump my traditional beliefs? Or does my traditional belief trump my christian faith?

    • Ekine

      November 25, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      Its amazing how in a dating relationship, the guy and girl are cool with everything then ..when they marry, the man suddenly becomes husband and leaves friendship behind…..and now expects to be served by his girlfriend..i mean wife.. on her knees….what changed?..not that its morally wrong..or right #justsaying

    • gurl_wendy

      November 25, 2015 at 7:50 pm

      @ekine I wish I could give your comment a thousand likes.

    • Edu

      November 25, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      So i witnessed something i thought was cute at a wedding. When this part of the reception came up, the bride cut out a rectangular chunk of the cake and put in her mouth, with one end outside. Groom leaned forward as if to collect a kiss, and bit off the off the other end.

      Thing is, we need to start taking control of our weddings and cutting out some of these things that are unnecessary. For me, guests should come in, eat and drink and merry and go home. Those who can should stay behind and party.

    • gurl_wendy

      November 25, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      Abi o, must people keep on copying things and saying it’s the norm, I like living life outside the box, try to switch things up a bit. Must it be the whole I’m doing this because everybody does it.

    • Drknite

      November 25, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      It started in Lagos. It’s a long story and I don’t have the time to explain it all. Basically it’s symbolic that the bride will submit her “cakes” only to her husband and satisfy his libido.

    • Loopingly Made

      November 25, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      haha. Thank you gurl-wendy. When I was single, I asked myself this question lots of times, and I just came to the conclusion that it was all for show (maybe, maybe not). I reasoned that after the whole ceremony, when the wife wants to give the husband food at home, will she kneel every time?

    • Diuto

      November 25, 2015 at 11:00 pm

      I didn’t kneel cos I won’t do that at home so y d unnecessary show. I put the cake in my mouth and fed him the other half and we kissed. The end.

  5. frank teacher

    November 25, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    the topic had me at; “ah-ah wat hapind nah”,
    but its well-laced with humour, and from a comedian, I LIKE

  6. nd

    November 25, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    its their moment,y not?

  7. ElessarisEllendil

    November 25, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    Stuff like he must have 6 packs: Nope
    stay on the island: Nope
    have broad shoulders: Jesu thank Sir
    pedigree: Nope
    have a mustache: Nope
    Mohawk: Huh?
    always in suit: For where
    drive an SUV: Environmentally conscious.
    have a Ph.D: Not yet
    speak spree spree: Mba nah
    have pointed nose: Do Africans have pointed nose?

    1/11???. Phew, good thing I ain’t getting married to Ali Baba. See STANDARDS!

    I’m taking proposal classes from the Francis Underwood school. Nobody got time for PDAs on top proposal, take it or leave it.

  8. Chynwa

    November 25, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    As hard as it is for me to admit, he’s right. U know he loves u and he wants to spend the rest of his life wt u… it doesn’t matter how and where he does it. Just lets proceed wt the arrangements already 🙂
    As for the kneeling down @gurl_wendy, I think it entered thru d darling Yoruba tradition of kneeling to show respect and is gradually seeping into other trads. As for me, it’s a no no. Ain’t nobody gat tym for dat. #okbye

    • gurl_wendy

      November 25, 2015 at 2:51 pm

      Thanks for your reply, just thought it was odd, what’s wrong with the bride standing or sitting on his lap to do so, they’ll now say she doesn’t have respect, abegi, ain’t nobody got no time for that.

    • UGO

      November 25, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      Kneeling ke? Who does that. I got married recently and never did such. I find it extremely strange too.

  9. Somtoo

    November 25, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    I keep saying i want my future fiance to propose when its just the both of us. I want us lying in each other’s arms, a movie playing in the background, playing and giggling then boo slips me my ring. That is a memory i will treasure.
    Dont come and gather family and friends and spoil the intimacy and privacy of the moment with all the awwwws and awuuuhhhh and jumping up n down arms waving “rolls eyes. Its our moment, let me enjoy it before i begin to share the news.

  10. lola

    November 25, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    Una don abuse Alibaba finish? Now it’s I like…..
    Human beans abi na beings….smh

  11. Engoz

    November 25, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Same way it is irrelevant to kneel for the husband during the marriage ceremony.

  12. Engoz

    November 25, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    It is important to separate the African tradition from the Christian religion. And I find out we tend to intertwine the two together. Since headship is biblical, this is what is required of the biblical head and that is to love the wife. Biblical love is one of a purposeful sacrifice to the other. Christian religion requires a sacrificial position of the head exemplary of Jesus Christ who washed the feet of his disciples. In John 13:15, after he washed the disciples feet, He said, I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. If you require your wife to kneel for you, you have to do that first as the man. What you expect your wife to do for you, you have to do it first. Christ is the example of headship and John makes it clear that We love each other because He loved us first.

    Now in the African tradition, love as sacrifice is what women do.
    In Christian religion love as sacrifice is expected from men.
    Now depending on your beliefs, you need to ask yourself a question does my christian faith trump my traditional beliefs? Or does my traditional belief trump my christian faith?

    • Tosin

      November 26, 2015 at 6:45 am

      deep. some deep comments here.

  13. Edu

    November 25, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    Social pressure is very strong. Extremely strong and shapes peoples ideas of what they want. Naturally, some of us are not demanding. Naturally relationships aren’t really that hard. But because we have seen something and feel like we want something, we unconsciously enter an imaginary competition or race with someone who may or may not even know you are trying to play catch up. We put our partners under pressure to give us what we want without knowing we are causing damage. Our celebrities including Alibaba no dey help. With all the glossy images, we go come begin reason am say, na so life be. By the time the scorpion of life wire your black nyash, your head go dey dia!

    Man know thy self. Know what your abilities are. Imagine say you dey date a shy guy wey want marry you or an introvert, and you want a public display of proposal? You don kill the guy/lady finish.

    So like he said, bikonu, know where you stand in life and humbly possess your possession. Say him go cinema go propose, or in front of elegushi beach, no mean say your marriage go outlive HID Awolowo.

    Let him/she that has ear, let him hear. Ka Chineke mezie okwu! #OkBye

  14. chi!

    November 25, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    N to u,Ali baba,did any man tell u he was forced to kneel down while proposing to his girl,did any man tell u a girl rejected his proposal becos he didn’t kneel down,where is dis mindset coming from.it seems u’re out of beta things to talk abt.n by d way,where r d men dat kneel down to propose sef or u’re judging from d foreign movies u watch,cos dats mostly done by white men.nigerian men aint dat romantic.they sit down to propose.do ur research well b4 yarning.dry yarn.

    • Tosin

      November 26, 2015 at 6:42 am

      dead, rotfl at “sit down to propose”
      Igbo men ain’t gat time….

  15. peptalk

    November 25, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    Social media and movies painted that image in our head, he must propose… my husband didn’t propose to me and we are happily married. The struggle z so real for some. I know someone who had done family introduction but still asked the guy for a public proposal, all for now sake of social media. Instagram especially. Why do always like to outdo ourselves?

  16. Kaeto

    November 25, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    Yesssssss, please, please is it by force. No no men you are not having your way in this one. You must beg me, convince me by your two bended knees and sincerity that you choose, desire, need, and want me. Because I have other very good suitable options and you just might be the lucky one. At the end it depends on the content of the relationship, after a good, generous man to his woman can propose in the biggest, glamorous, amazing ways without kneeling down. I think it’s shows humility for one to kneel no matter how big it is.

  17. Olabisi

    November 25, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    My husband proposed with a card and necklace. By Gods grace we are happily married. I rocked my necklace and just the necessary people had to know I was engaged until we started wedding prep. The ring brings attention at times and people keep wondering when is the wedding. I know someone who had a ring on for four year after proposal, no marriage. Lord of the ring things

    • Tosin

      November 26, 2015 at 6:40 am

      I don’t get how people see/notice rings. It never occurs to me to look at a person’s hands. I’ve had people wave it in my face all excited before I now notice and pull up the correct reaction that omg so exciting so exciting act. (i can also go months without looking at my face, so maybe that’s just me hehehe, so I sorta don’t understand selfies either. Museums, yes, selfies, I don’t know what to look for.)

  18. Cindy

    November 25, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    The one time we ask you to kneel you cannot save your life. Kneeling or not does not really mean anything in the real sense. It is just once, it won’t kill you. So Ali baba and Ko, stop looking for unnecessary excuses. It is not that deep.

  19. daisy

    November 25, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    Nice write up.
    Kneeling down to propose is an imported culture.
    My husband didn’t propose. Just Told me, ‘I told my mum about you and she wants to meet you.’
    I met the mum and she was like, ask your parents when we can come to meet them.. shikena.
    I’ve been married nine years now.

    • adea

      December 23, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      i really want this for my self … tired of being single bo

  20. Lady

    November 25, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Well, for me there was no go-down -on -one knee proposal.we had dated for about 2 years and he kept telling me he needed to get me my engagement ring..but he wasnt sure of where to get.We just knew by the grace of God that we wanted to be with each other.trust me naw, i started hunting for jewellry stores in abuja and when i found he picked me from work and we went to select my choice of ring he paid asked to wear it on my finger myself as he doesnt believe in the one knee thing. We r happily married today.

  21. *curious*

    November 25, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Preach Engoz!!

  22. Sadia

    November 25, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    Ahem *clears throat*hubby of mine wherever are , I like going all out oh,i like really nice not necessarily extravagant but lovely things in life. So plss I dont need anybody to witness it,but take me somewhere intimate,get on one knee and show me that diamond symbol of commitment

    • truthbtold

      November 26, 2015 at 9:37 am

      ole

  23. purpliciousbabe

    November 25, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    I am happy for him to kneel down propose…. As long as he has good intentions.

  24. Viv

    November 26, 2015 at 4:49 am

    Hahahhahaha,my husband gave me a ring after we had gone to pay for the hall of the reception.didn’t go on his kneels either

  25. Tosin

    November 26, 2015 at 6:35 am

    I don’t need the drama and I don’t want a ring. I don’t even really care for weddings. I’ll probably ask first. As long as it’ll be a beautiful life together, why try to pack all the best parts in at the beginning?

  26. SS

    November 26, 2015 at 9:28 am

    I already told him my ring size,he bought it and brought it to see me when I got to the states,so unromantic…..he gave me in the car and I wore it myself…,,shikena

  27. wedding wtout proposing

    November 26, 2015 at 10:12 am

    my hubby didn’t propose, we just knew we are meant for each other and he took me home, now we are married but i wear a ring as i av so many suitors coming my way

  28. Princess JB

    November 26, 2015 at 10:14 am

    Just throw the Ring, I will catch it. Kneel down kwa!

  29. Mz Titilitious

    November 26, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    My bf doesnt believe in it too… he says he wont kneel ooo ;(, i jt think it wont be romantic nii jare no biggy but i wish he would kneel lol 😀

  30. Ummumaryam

    November 26, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    My hubby didn’t go on his knees for me, I spent years doing shakara for him & deceiving my self that were just friends, so when d time came we just knew it and to the glory of God we’ve been married for five years now.

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