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Jennifer Nagu: Making Time For Things That Matter Most

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Salamatu Zachary starts excitedly at giggling daughter, ‘’Happy Birthday my baby girl! How you’ve grown. Mummy Loves you dearly.’’ Planting several kisses on Sara’s forehead, Salamatu dials Ishaku’s number. It’s her daughter’s third birthday party. The whole house is packed full of happy kids; Mums and Dads chit-chatting about happy family moments. Her husband as usual is out. Work, work and more work. When he is not working, he spends more time sitting with the guys at City square Peppersoup joint.

Honey, were are you? Everyone is here, but you. ‘’Sally, I said I am on the way. You people should begin without me. I would join the party…. what difference does it make? Ishaku Said sounding annoyed. ‘’Haba Ishaku, you are her Father, and you should be……’’ Click click, the line goes off. This had been the trend ever since they got married. Salamatu was worried that this could continue.

How much quality one on one time do you spend with your spouse, children, loved ones? Thirty minutes, Five minutes? Well, no wonder you don’t love each other any more! Well no wonder, your children do not recognize you anymore.

Adequate time for loved ones is something we all want at some level. But when push comes to shove, it’s easy to prioritize everything else over it – work, social time, our problem.

Statistics have shown that two-thirds of the parents in Britain, have attributed spending too much time away from their kids as the biggest regret. We live in a world where many children are left at the mercy of house-helps, nannies. What is most annoying is that some families play the blame game as to whose core responsibilities it is to cater to their kids – Mum or Dad?

Wives and husbands are also not left out in this. Some couples live in the same house but remain unbearably lonely. When you ask a loved one why he/she couldn’t make it for movie night, he gives certain excuses like, ‘’Oh I had so much to do at work today’’ or , ‘’ There was so much traffic, I couldn’t make it out in time’’.

The Nigerian Factor takes this to a higher level. With the hard times getting harder, many spend more and more time in the hustle. The need to survive has further dragged a lot of our loves ones away. A friend months ago confessed to me, ‘’My girlfriend ended our relationship’’. Startled by this reveal, I asked him why, and he said ‘’She says I do not make out adequate time for her, but who could blame me? I have to keep hustling, so I can make more money to spend on her’’.

Over 40% of problems in relationships revolve around these factors. If only you can sit, listen to your kids babble about all their problems at school. If only you can take a chill pill; listen to that wife that needs a listening ear, that friend that needs talking too, then the world would be a better place.

As legitimate as all our reasons may be. We must make out time for what matters most in our lives, family, friends and those who love you.

Please remember:

  • At least 1 person in the world loves you very much.
  • At least 15 people in the world love you in some way.
  • You have got Family and family is everything.
  • You mean the world to someone.
  • When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a moment, look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
  • Always remember the compliments you received, they have probably come from people who love you.
  • Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know and you’ll both be happy.
  • If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
  • You are most important to somebody out there.
  • Quit Chasing the irrelevancies of life, and make time for what is important.
  • Time passes faster than you think, take out quality time for loved ones

To everyone who has read this, thanks for your time!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime |  Andres Rodriguez 

Jennifer Nagu is a Lagos based Freelance-writer, editor and Aviation professional, specializing in Aviation, wellness and travel related matters. She has published work with notable media platforms across Africa, like Ynaija of the Red media group, Guardian Nigeria Newspaper, New York based wellness publication Thrive global, founded by mogul Arianna Huffington and Ndalo media's Habari Magazine. She holds a degree in communications from Covenant univerity and an IATA diploma in Airline Quality diploma from Geneva.

11 Comments

  1. The Lingerie City

    November 14, 2015 at 12:35 am

    Nice analysis

  2. Truth!

    November 14, 2015 at 12:53 am

    This is so true! Funny was having dinner with my husband and he was on his phone checking the markets….I jokingly said “if you were still single at this age, e for hard you to date” and he said “we have to hustle” lol

    I don’t know if its even just about the need to make enough to provide for your family or the constant hunger for more, more, more…..something always has to give unfortunately but Family time is KEY!!!! Cant stress that enough.

    Money can’t buy home instilled positive values……TIME!!!!! is what is needed….An analogy to back this, growing healthy crops is not purely based on buying good quality fertiliser, you also have to spend time watering the crops……

    May God help us all

  3. Lily

    November 14, 2015 at 6:36 am

    One of the best things I have read ever! This is what I keep telling bf, I will forward to him.
    Thanks a million

  4. FunB

    November 14, 2015 at 10:09 am

    soo true,,,

  5. Tosin

    November 14, 2015 at 10:53 am

    one lovely elderly person i know who is campaigning for me to marry, he said to me,
    you may not need anybody, but somebody needs you.

    i think people just try to use all sorts of psych to get us to do the “correct” thing. i sha still listen to all of them, but my own voice, the voice of God, will be the decider in the end. abi, somebody can not need me and i’ll be the one chasing them again.

    this comment is off-point.
    😛

  6. gmonee

    November 15, 2015 at 11:00 am

    wow this is really nice…

  7. Jennifer Nagu

    November 15, 2015 at 11:18 am

    Thank you all for your kind contributions. Its so sad that something as little as “time” can be so hard to give at times…Lily! Your boyfriend has to read this indeed….lol

  8. yaksIdisir

    November 15, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    This article is surgical in its diagnosis, sagacious in its prognosis and seminal in its ability to reach out to many guilty of this. Truly awesome

  9. yaksIdisir

    November 15, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    The article is surgical in its diagnosis. sagacious in its prognosis and seminal in its ability to reach out to pple guilty of this. Truly awesome

  10. Citizen's comprehensive college

    November 15, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Well Done Jenny 🙂

  11. McAllister David D.

    November 24, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    Man must learn to love and have a feeling of contempt at all times… Nice piece

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