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BN Prose: Nearly Dumped at Christmas by Ugochi V. Ukah

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The festive season was around and just like everyone else, Ngozi was preparing to travel to her hometown in Port-Harcourt to celebrate with her family. She was hurriedly packing up her clothes because she had to catch up with her friends, Vivian and Mercy, by 5pm before taking off the next morning. Her phone began to ring; it was Chuka calling. She was a little surprised because he had not called her in about a week. Remembering their last conversation which had ended up in an argument made her a little hesitant to pick up. She silently prayed that this phone call would go peacefully because she was already stressed out from the day.

“Hello Chuka, how are you doing?” She answered calmly.
“I’m doing well. I hope you’re fine too.” Chuka responded.
“Yes, I’m fine; thanks. I’m just rushing to finish up my packing for tomorrow.”
“Ok, no problem. In that case, I won’t take much of your time. I was just calling to say that I am breaking up with you officially since we have already broken up, unofficially.”
“Er…sorry what?” Ngozi was taken aback.
“Yeah, we have not spoken for a week now so I suppose that we were off and I just called to make it official.”
“Ok. First of all, I have been very busy all week so I have not had the chance to call you. Secondly, you cannot break up with me because we were not exactly in a relationship!” She said, trying to salvage whatever pride she had left in her.
“Fine, I did not know you were busy. I just assumed that since we quarrelled the last time and we stopped talking to each other, then you were no longer interested. But if you say so, then forget about the break up.”
“So if you were still interested, why did you not call?”
“But I am the one calling now…”
“Yes but you were calling to end things…”

And they began arguing again which was exactly what Ngozi had feared. After about an hour of reaching no compromise, she told him that she needed to cut the call because it was almost time for her to hang out. They both eventually agreed on one thing; that their conversations were no longer as delightful as they used to be at the beginning, when they started talking a month and half ago.

Ngozi had been introduced to Chuka at a family friend’s wedding and the pair exchanged phone numbers. They began to speak daily on the phone and things seemed to be clicking for both of them. Even though they lived in different cities and had tight work schedules, they were making plans to visit each other immediately after the Christmas holidays.

However, things turned around the previous week when Ngozi described herself as a feminist during one of their conversations. It was then that Chuka began to pick arguments with her and no matter how much she tried to convince him that feminism had nothing to do with hatred or disrespect for men; rather a concern for the wellbeing and equal opportunities for women. Chuka was not swayed. He asked her to renounce her stand as a feminist and when she refused to oblige, every conversation of theirs turned from sweet to sour.

Every statement she made henceforth, he claimed was absurd and due to her feminist nature. She was confused because prior to her confession, he had never thought or made any mention about her conversations being abnormal. In fact, he used to say that she was probably one of the smartest ladies he had ever spoken to and that was one of the reasons why he liked her. But now, she was almost scared to air her opinions on any topic, as he was quick to blame her perceptions on her schooling abroad and feminism. It was one of such statements of his, the last time they spoke a week ago, that made her beg him not to refer to her school, family or feminism again as they had nothing to do with the current topic. However, his response was that she did not behave like a true African woman if not she would not have told him or any man what not to do. Ngozi felt insulted and this led to a heated argument and no call for a week. And after the awful conversation they just had, she really wished that he had not bothered to call at all.

By the time, she got to the bar, Vivian and Mercy were already there. Ngozi told them about the phone call and they laughed at her.
“So let me get this straight. You don’t have a boyfriend but somehow you still managed to get dumped” Mercy started.
“I know right, how pathetic can my life be? And during the Christmas season for that matter.” Ngozi shook her head.
“This is news to me; I thought guys preferred Valentine’s season break up. Now I feel better about being alone this Christmas. At least, I did the breaking up.” Vivian, who had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years, said.
“Yes o; even if mine breaks up with me now, it would be more legit. I would know that it was a real boyfriend that ended things” Mercy added; she was currently having issues with her relationship and was considering ending it.
They all laughed and Ngozi took it in good faith, even though somewhere in her mind, she wondered how things had gotten this way. She was a very pretty and bright girl and yet, always managed not to get into a real relationship no matter how hard she tried. Maybe it was God answering her prayers and chasing away all the men that were not meant for her until that special one found her. She only hoped that he would find her sooner than later because she was getting weary of waiting.

Before the ladies left the bar that night, they made a toast.
“Merry Christmas! To a blessed and prosperous new year!” Mercy said
“With our special men finding us” Ngozi added
“Yes, yes! To happy and fulfilled relationships.” Mercy agreed.
“And marriages” Vivian also added.
“And no more dumping!” Ngozi whispered.
“Whether by or with real or nearly boyfriends” Mercy squealed.
“Amen!” They all chorused.
And with that they laughed loudly and departed for their respective vacations.

***
Big thank you to you all for reading my stories. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Sam74100

Ugochi V Ukah is a student and loves writing in her spare time; using sarcasm, humour and wit to relay her thoughts. Visit her blog for more stories at: www.ugochivukah.blogspot.com and follow her on twitter @vivio_gogo and IG: @ugochiukah

7 Comments

  1. Green

    December 29, 2015 at 9:37 am

    Lmao @ renounce feminism, as though it were a secret cult, or the devil itself. Some men sef. Iranu!
    Another thing, how do females sit down and start discussing ‘I’m a feminist’ ‘I’m not a feminist’? If you are one, let your actions speak for itself.

  2. thow___lou

    December 29, 2015 at 11:02 am

    @green honestly I am tired of hearing females say they are feminist … I would know when I see one, you don’t need to announce it

  3. Ready

    December 29, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    You would know when you see one?

    Dem dey carry am for head or is it a badge?

  4. Nkiruka

    December 29, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    Not a very interesting story. Looks like something written in a rush, just for want of something to write.

  5. Mz_danielz

    December 30, 2015 at 5:50 am

    A friend’s little on when asked about his parent’s religion said ‘my father is a Christian while my mother is a feminist’. The little one had heard his mother refer to herself as a feminist a lot he thought it was her religion.

  6. Fortune

    January 1, 2016 at 11:40 am

    I think any man who thinks feminism is absurd is small minded. Good story.

  7. Kender

    January 4, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Both men and women could be feminists

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