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Sandra Dairo: What To Do With a Jumbo-Sized P*

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Long before I had an active sex life, I had heard ladies go and on about the orgasmic bliss that should be expected when sleeping with a man with a big junk. The guys would either talk about how big they were (you would think they were packing yam tubers) or whine that they wished they were bigger. So, at the back of my mind, for a long time, I wondered what ‘big’ was.

For years after my sex life ‘took off’ I was with guys who I had to admit were just average sized. I say they were average because when the big D’ discussion came up among my friends, I knew I have never come close to having the enormous member they described. For a long time, I believed I was missing out. My sex partners satisfied me fine, but imagine spending years eating a cake at a particular store where you believed they sold the best cakes, and then loads of people come to tell you there is a better store that sold the best cake somewhere else; you know the cake you have been having is awesome, but you immediately begin to doubt it. At the very least, you will be curious. That was what this was like for me. I was fine with what I had, but I was curious. Apparently, when you are really curious about something, the universe gives you what you want.

When I met Femi, it was a pretty interesting encounter. Femi was over 6ft tall and I could not believe he was interested in me. Did I mention I was barely 5ft tall? I am extremely attracted to tall guys but they hardly ever approached me so when Femi did, it was a big surprise. I won’t bore you with the ‘how we met’ story because that is not the point of this piece. Let’s skip over to the bedroom part.

So, when Femi and I got to the dating stage where we were going to do the deed, I did what any girl who knows she will be getting laid would do. I was shaved, primped and plucked. I wore pretty and matching underwear. And I made sure my *ahem* parts are ready for action.

After a hot and heavy makeout session in his bedroom, it was time for the clothes to come off. Mine came off first, then his. He pulled down his pants and underwear. I did a double take.

You know how I said something about a yam tuber earlier? This was pretty darn close. I literally gasped in shock as I lay there in nothing but my panties. This kind of package should come with a warning. I could not decide if I wanted to flee, or if I should touch it to see if it was real. I went with the latter.

“Wow,” I said. “You should have at least given me some sort of heads up.”

He gave me that smile. You know that one guys give you that says “yeah baby, you know you want it.”

Did I want it? I was not sure. Heck, I was not even sure what to do with it. Was I supposed to bow? (It was really intimidating) Do I pitch a tent underneath it (It was big enough to serve as a shade) or do I just admit that I was way in over my head and make my escape? Nope. I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

I continued stroking with my hands until I figured I should go about it another way. Then I went with fellatio, (sorry for the clinical term, guys, but I have to keep things PG) but when my jaw started to protest, I gave up.

‘What in the world do you do with a massive penis?’ I found myself wondering. Anyway, after a little bit of awkwardness, I figured we should get down to business.

Have you tried trying to stick a pen in a keyhole? I mean, you can get the tip in but the rest is almost impossible. Yes, that was what this was. I tried everything. I turned this way and that. Bent over forward and backwards. Legs so wide apart that I was basically doing an air split (if there were any such thing). Perhaps it was due to my nervousness, but somehow, I could not “receive” him. We even tried lube just in case this was my fault. Nothing.

“Seriously, this is not working,” I said, after about 30 minutes of maneuvering my body and his. If you kept trying to stick a pen in the keyhole, you will give up, eventually, right? So, after he saw me off to the taxi park, we shared an awkward good bye and I never saw him again. I mean, really, what was I supposed to say? “Your duck (switch vowels, please) is way too big, but can we be buddies?”

Since then, I wondered, was it just me? Did I go about it wrong? Or does my biological make-up come with a size limit? The ladies that love the big ones, how do they do it? Or are they just lying?

Anyway, from then on, I make sure to preach to my friends that I will take an average Joe over big Jon any day. Sex is supposed to be fun, not a damn assignment.

So, kudos to the ladies who enjoy these jumbo-sized john thomases and extra kudos to the men who have to lug it around.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Wavebreakmedia Ltd

Sandra Dairo is a creative writer and content creator. She finds humour in everything and believes life should not be taken so seriously. You can check out her adult-themed blog at thefiercelane.wordpress.com where she writes erotic stories, sex tips and more.

111 Comments

  1. whocares

    December 22, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    clearly you don’t use “pako” (chewing stick) . Invest in a sizeable one, you will be able to answer your own question.
    looool. I have not read the article. responding solely to the question asked on the caption. I will be back to read.

    • Me

      December 22, 2015 at 6:02 pm

      All these northern men, na so one wanted to date me back then, after I saw the size of his something. Till today I have never seen him again and I’m probably sure he was wondering what happened. It was even bigger than my whole arm. I’m not joking cheeeei…. Abeg a reasonable size makes the world a better place.

  2. Chic

    December 22, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    For me, I really don’t think it’s about the hugeness., but how well u can use ur tool. Most times u don’t even need a penetration to make a woman have an orgasm. Most guys don’t understand this. I stand with the average sized dudes that can do other things other than relying mainly on the size. Sex is an art!

    • GirlFromIpanema

      December 22, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Amen sistah…before someborri come and destroy my intestines in the name of sex..choi!

    • Thatgidigirl

      December 22, 2015 at 5:01 pm

      Lmao @ destroy intestines!!!! Not just intestines, plus all your ofals!

    • seriously

      December 22, 2015 at 6:58 pm

      Sex is overrated. Big penis is highly overrated. Its just a facade, to keep people talking. Before I became sexually active, i was looking forward to everything I read in books,heard people say and my imagination was wild. None of my personal experience met the expectation. I’ve had average and big. I beIieve, vaginas are different and what women enjoy vvaries. Big penis, no matter what skills they have, is not for me. Pleasure for me issubtle, not wondering if my intestines to my uterus is still intact. To the feeling of nauseated or feeling like doing number two. Anyway, average penis has more flexibility. Front, top, back, side, whatever position, you will not feel pressured or drowned.
      I compare, big penis to a popular place people rave about but when you get there, you ask yourself? Am i missing smth? No, its just all talk.
      The pleasure in sex comes from the connection, comfortability, chemistry, attraction between two people not size or shape.

    • radiogirlnelo

      December 23, 2015 at 5:31 pm

      This—> The pleasure in sex comes from the connection, comfortability, chemistry, attraction between two people not size or shape.

    • Seriously

      December 22, 2015 at 7:27 pm

      In addition, I’m convinced it’s more of talk, illusion than action/reality. With the way, society is obsessed with sex and big penis. Statistics show only a small percentage are actually truly having sex minus paid or free sex workers, experiment, adrenaline rush and temporary gratification. But happily having and enjoying sex is only few people in a world where sex is the number one discussion. The shocking part, only a small percentage are getting the right pleasure, satisfaction they desire. In the African American community, where big D is a norm, black men judge their worth based on that, some black women are open with only wanting a man with big D. In a candid conversation, many of these women have never experienced proper orgasm. These men just walk around with big D, stick it into several girls and that’s it. Some women just want a taste of it, and that’s it. It becomes more of f*cking than making love. But to each is own. Women loving big D, kudos. Women loving average, kudos.

    • Chic_hijabi

      December 22, 2015 at 7:45 pm

      Yes, a guy needs to know how to use more than his “thing” to give pleasure. I agree, but what about the guy’s pleasure in this particular situation? She doesn’t even know how to begin to work with”him” to put it subtly…So like many sexually selfish guys she gets the pleasure and he gets nada..

    • dami

      December 23, 2015 at 4:51 am

      Man there is this guy nycsocialmayor , his penis is the devil himself!!! the type that would make an experienced girl feel like she’s being disvirgined all over again… never seen such before in my entire life and boy he knows so he warns you before hand. and i think he knows how to use it too. amazing right?? sigh

    • radiogirlnelo

      December 23, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      On point like kilode!!!

  3. LereRose

    December 22, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    lmaooo. Literally in tears. i’m with you there. Ill take an average anytime over jumbo. Experience speaking.

  4. Okay now

    December 22, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    nice one……. feel the same. Mehn! some Jumbo sized 9 inches fat —– can be hard work oooh lol. sorry , pls excuse my language . Recently saw this 9inch didlo on Lovehoney.co.uk. Damn I had to scream and wonder how that would fit in . They even had 10 inch ones .
    Omo I no fit shout in tuface voice…..
    it will be interesting to know women that have dealt with such situations , & how they succeded in handling it all . ??

    • pinopino

      December 22, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      I’m a fan of massive boners and I would never go for an average size bits. I love the bitter sweet thrusts!

  5. Speakout

    December 22, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    The fist time I saw an “over-sized” JT, I was really really scared. and even sef the show was not fantastic too. I go with your tot Sandra. One can choke trying to “sock” the biggie. Aseju ni irun aya to n fa singlet ya jo!

  6. Caligula

    December 22, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    Big as a Tuba of yam is too big oooo!! Gbese ni yen ooo! Years ago, i saw one similar to the one you described, looked like a third leg. The guy and I were just friends but he wanted more. I went to his place so we could go grab pizza down the street and he walked out of his room naked (I think he wanted to show me what I was missing ?). I almost fainted at what I saw and realized that’s why so many of the African-American girls liked him…. That type of d**k needs to come with a warning ??

    • whocares

      December 22, 2015 at 3:46 pm

      @ Caligula- na where him go plaster the warning na? LMAOOOO. I read this book, and apparently, scientifically, all a guy needs is 5 inches as the g-spot is most times located 5 inches into the vagina (if your own is not, I said most times o).. From that, we can sefely say that any other size is just showing off jare. My aunt and I had this conversation the other day in yoruba… she said to be “oko toba ti tobi ju o kin da, o le pa obinrin” (big dick can literally kill a woman) she wore such a solemn expression as she said it as well and I was wondering where this came from. According to her, she has a friend who died from too much dickin… (it took all effort, all human effort to not laugh) her friend probably “came and went”. lool. get it? I still don’t know what lesson she was trying to teach me.. does it show on the face that a person may be disposed to like big penis that she is warning me off it? Anyhow sha, only a person knows their limit (literally) so if a person can take it, carry go with your badself.. the vajayjay is a muscle so no fear, no shaking. The same big man that created these monster penises knew what he was doing and so he made those vajs well resilient. They take a pounding and keep on floording (ok i am done with my puns. lool. ) If it stretches, with regular exercise it will always err remain intact (kegels ladies, kegels)

    • Matilda

      December 22, 2015 at 4:13 pm

      hahahahahahahahahahahaha she sure ‘came and went’! don’t know why I found that too funny but it brought tears!

    • Thatgidigirl

      December 22, 2015 at 5:04 pm

      Abeg where did you keep your face/ eyes when u were having this conversation with your aunt? Shiooor! Imagine discussing dick with my aunt…… 😐

    • pocah

      December 22, 2015 at 5:36 pm

      Loooooooool. “She came and went” #fullyunderstood.

    • Nonye

      December 22, 2015 at 5:37 pm

      OMG! You got me cracking with this …. “oko toba ti tobi ju o kin da, o le pa obinrin” (big dick can literally kill a woman) she wore such a solemn expression as she said it as well and I was wondering where this came from”.

      Someone once told me that she knows a prince whose d**k was so long that if he enters you from your vj, na your mouth e go reach. lol

    • whocares

      December 22, 2015 at 6:35 pm

      @Gidigirl. lool. putting my face aside is not even the problem. She is so open, I have come to expect just about anything from her and so does everyone. The problem with the convo on that day was I had to murmur such things like “Olorun a fi orun ke won – (may she rest in peace) with the holiest facial expression I could muster at that point ‘cos she seemed truly upset. looool.. Really it was surreal.

    • Atoke

      Atoke

      December 22, 2015 at 10:46 pm

      “Olorun af’Orun ke won”

      I legit CAN NOT breathe. *dead and gone*

    • Californiabawlar

      December 22, 2015 at 8:24 pm

      Haaaa! Lmaooo! I can even gather my thoughts! I’m screenshoting this for my bffs!
      Oko to pa’yan?! Emo lukutu pebepebe! For realz though, how did y’all end up talking about that? How did you keep a straight face? How did SHE keep a straight face?! Lmaooo!??? I can’t stop laughing, someone help me!

    • Californiabawlar

      December 22, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      Lmao! Hahahaha! I just read the ‘Olohun a fi orun ke won’ comment…omg!! I swear I’m now officially in tears! So you had to give an obligatory solemn RIP response?!?? Na wah oh….may we not jam agbako prick!
      Staggering away singing…”ha o ma she, ile n je eniyan”

    • o

      December 22, 2015 at 8:41 pm

      I read this while eating, and rice almost flew out of my nose………lol.

    • pocah

      December 22, 2015 at 9:22 pm

      @whocares , hahahahaha. you gan sef are very unwell. Your response cracked me bad “olohun a forun ke won” oh my God. LooooooL .
      Of all things to say “olohun a forun kw won” hahahahha

    • Atoke

      Atoke

      December 22, 2015 at 10:31 pm

      Lolllllllllll I am typing this from the floor where I rolled on to after reading your comment. LoLllll I don’t even know where to start.

  7. kenitola

    December 22, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    sipping my zobo and waiting for comments

  8. Cynical

    December 22, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    This should be interesting….let’s hear from those with experience pls. For me,average joe that knows work,lol……anything that is too much can’t be good.

  9. Tolu

    December 22, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Interesting topic?

  10. LadyWithTheAfroLocs

    December 22, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    i am literally in stitches..Ms Sandra o you wont kill somebody jor..
    but yes it’s not about the size but what u can do with it. i had a boyfriend who was half delta ibo half yoruba and i bled all thru sex with him…why i decided to stick with him for 5 years i honestly dont know! he was jst big for nothing!! he didnt know how to use it at all..total waste of a huge duck(switch the vowels please)…fast forward a couple of years down…i dated another yoruba guy who had the length and the breadth…Jesus H. Christ!!!!!! i was in #duckheaven for the 3 years i dated him….i dont think he knew he was endowed(or if he did, he never showed it)…very “humble” guy….gaddemit!!! mo wa alright mehn…fit like a glove*coveringmyface*
    my partner now is well above average and shit he can werk it out….i am happy…very happy…this is 15 years down the line…
    so yes, u need to know how to work you stuff…and strut that walk…otherwise, please gerrarahere with your big duck mehn shiiiiiiiii

  11. Mz_daniels

    December 22, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    I have these silly thoughts where I think a very big ‘bros’ will expand that area uncontrollably.

    I know, I know, no scientific basis but it’s how I think and I’ve been told I hv a tight ‘sis’ *winks*

  12. rita

    December 22, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    i have had quite some guys around me. but what i saw one day shocked me. i pity the guy’s wife. it was too massiave that my mouth can’t even take it. smh. i can’t shout

  13. Abena

    December 22, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    If its huge and its hurt,what does it matter? As has already being stated, you dont even need penetration to get there…. Most clueless men think its penetration that makes a woman come:WRONG!!!

  14. tamunotonye

    December 22, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    My sister, I encountered one some years back. I did the deed with lube of cos and didn’t walk straight for a whole week, It was such a painful experience . I was no virgin o… but it felt like I was being disvirgined for a second time, Omo I ran for my dear life. I liked him tho but not enough to suffer in the name of pleasure, he kept calling and got the message after a while. Never again will I go thru that, maka y sef?

  15. drknite

    December 22, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    With the proper foreplay, any girl can take a jumbo package.

  16. BlueEyed

    December 22, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    Whatever rocks your boat ladies, don’t try them all to know what works but work with the ones you have tried and find your rhythm.
    Plus let’s note that a lot of ladies exaggerate this whole size thing, don’t go knocking your guy’s game because your home girl is yapping about her guy’s size which 90% of the time is just average, or you even get it better than she does.
    Lastly, anybody who knows what good sex is (I mean amazing sex) would tell you that it’s not about the size of the tool, a lot of this big sized dudes just rely on the size, more grease to the ladies that steady hang onto them.

  17. DEENN

    December 22, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    MEHN….no hungry man size for me ooo…i remember an almost encounter wit an “hungry man size” guy…d tin nor gree enter o…nd for d next 3 days i was walking wit d feeling dat d tin was still der…mehn…i fear my head o….”hail d hungry man sizers”

    • Idomagirl

      December 22, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      “Hungry man size”. ??????

  18. Larz

    December 22, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    It sounds like you were doing all the work to try and accomodate him. Broda doesnt even seem like he is trying. When you are very endowed, you need to work at pleasing that woman. Your foreplay better be on point and you will be amazed by just how accomodating even the tiniest woman can be

  19. onyx

    December 22, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Hahahaha. Dang @Deen. Hungry man size? That got me in stitches

  20. adaku

    December 22, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    To me it’s the workability of the JT, I will opt for an average size as long the owner can work it, but my sisters a small size or very small size not matter the workability u wouldn’t feeel anything, Whn I was single like so I dated on fine guy tall dark n handsome great job n career live in a nice area drive very good cars, good education even known Jesus but with a my pinky finger size JT, long story short it didn’t work but not cos of the JT o lol, big size that is not workable, what’s the point, Na big for nothing b that nah,those two was my ex, God finally gave my average size that knows the work, not like am crazy abt sex Thou, my hubby is a good size average n very very workable, I always joke with him that, if he is bigger than his normal size with the way he work it I will just run…

  21. lexira

    December 22, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    Most guys with big D don’t know how to make use of it from my experience
    I have dated three guys with huge D n trust me it was not funny
    But the current guy that handles Jane is huge but rarely use it to make me cum
    It took Jane two weeks before I could finally swallow his huge D but during mock trials I felt orgasim like never before so it’s not really about the size but how good u n ur man flow but size follow sha oh
    After the few initial trials I could not walk well hence I lied at the office that it was boil

    • Drknite

      December 22, 2015 at 9:34 pm

      Sounds like Jane has been through some rough times. Glad to know she is now being handled with care.

    • Ay

      January 23, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      Lol @ Lied at the office dat it was boil!!! Chai Women and Big D

  22. iyke

    December 22, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    Hmmm,another penis project!
    Yes size matters to some women.They are more likely to desire a larger penis in their partner, relative to a smaller one.Nobody wants an average or below average penis.
    Fellas, if you want to do well for yourself in the mating world, you would do well to possess above-average penis.If you don’t have them, all the worse for your prospects of attracting and retaining someone desirable.
    Agreed,majority of women may not care as they’d rather be with men who are warm, kind,caring, and funny than with a whimp with a massive penis.
    But then again, how about possessing all these qualities and topping it up with an above average penis? That will be self fulfilling for the men.
    So ladies, while you may not really care about the size, the FELLAS DO and it worries us.
    Doubt me???Tell your man/husband that he has a small penis – He will never recover again.

    • Easy n Gentle

      December 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Iyke’s comment sometimes sha; as if anyone has a say in the size they get like “God, no ooo, I don’t want average 5inches. I need that 9inch plus at the top right there” ?

  23. Oceanné

    December 22, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Oh God, I hate big whatever!!!!! I’m in a serious dilemma myself! I’m partially in and out of my current relationship because of this big whatever. Oh God, I can’t! My present SO/soon to be ex insisted we wait till marriage, lol. Mind you he is in his early 30s and has been sexually active before he met me, but according to him, the relationships never last because when sex is involved, things go wrong. Me as a girl of 23, been in two previous committed sexual relationships before ours that didn’t end well, I was kind of glad, he was on the same side with me.

    Anyways, our relationship was going fine, in fact beautiful with the normal issues, no red flags whatsoever, until my married gf told me that’s how she was deceived by her “let’s wait till marriage” over churchy husband and what she got was less(size) than she would have settled for and I should investigate. All my gfs concurred. I ended up sha doing my thing and we eventually had sex. Mehn! I had to rethink the relationship. We have since being having sex after that but I don’t think I can deal! At first I thought I was just nervous since it’s a new person, and that the vagina was made to fit all(after all babies exit it all the time) but after the other times and still the same discomfort due to size, I can’t ooo. Everything other thing is spot on, but I don’t think sex and its enjoyment should be compromised.

    Sizes are all the same when they fall within a certain spectrum. Other sizes below or above should be checked. In my own opinion, oversized tool is worse than undersized. At least for undersized one can substitute and make up but oversize, what is the remedy to the discomfort and pain??? I had never prayed about tools when it came to men before, but that’s one of my prayer point. God please give me me what I can handle and enjoy. It’s just unfortunate that I love him already ?

    • Easy n Gentle

      December 22, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      Prayer point ?. The amazing requests God gets.

    • honey

      December 22, 2015 at 8:51 pm

      I think we all grow to get used to the dick size. My hubby has a thick dick. When we first started having sex, it was painful and i was always bleeding. In fact at some point, I had to go to the Dr to be sure everything was okay. This happened for about 8-12 months of marriage. I pulled through that period with lots and lots of lubricant.
      After that period, I guess my vajayjay adjusted itself, and now, i welcome him so well. No pain whatsoever, just pleasure.

  24. Cece

    December 22, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Wow Bella Naija,! You have some young readers and this article may be too mature.

    • MyNameIsNotSusan

      December 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Surely you’re mistaken. Bella Naija has never been targeted at “young readers.” Guys, please keep the comments coming ;).

    • person

      December 23, 2015 at 12:06 pm

      I agree. Perhaps a warning of some sort in future that says : Mature Content.. but then these 14 year olds with mobile phones can just hit the scroll button and keep reading…

  25. damseldam1

    December 22, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    ahahha this made me to remember an encounter with a guy i knew back then. He was a short guy in fact am short as well but i felt a lil taller than him. i realized sometimes height can be deceiving cos that guy had a huge, long and fat JT that i was wondering if it was real because it doesn’t reflect on him cos he’s short although not skinny sha. while we were trying i had to stop halfway because it was just too much make e no go spoil me and the scaring part then i felt it looked like sausage u know how sausages are packed. after that episode i ran far far away o he was pursuing me i gave all the excuses in the world joor. whereas i met another tall fine guy but has a skinny and tiny JT unable to use it. now he has a child sometimes i wonder how he managed to impregnate somebody with his ting especially the fact it has a short life span u know what that means? u know what they say that the fun has ended before it began lol

  26. me

    December 22, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Women, If huge dicks don’t fit naturally why force it? One minute of big dip for one week of sore pussy on wobble legs is a bad combination – Stop the suffering and smiling syndrome.

    Which man would brag over a slack vagina?

  27. HMMMM

    December 22, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Let me tell you my story, It was my first sexual encounter and the guy was huuuuuuuuggggeee. Then I thought it was my lack of experience that made him seem so huge, but now I know he was too huge.
    When the horrific 5 minutes were over and I got home, I saw my period….NO it wasn’t regular bleed it was 5 whole days of bleeding. After this encounter, I dated another huge guy…the sex was just for him; it didnt do anything for me…IT WAS JUST PAIN.

    Then I met this regular joe…..AH THAT UNCLE CAN USE HIS JT…..I shook from head to toe in pleasure, orgasm was on fleek…no faking of anything…AND WHEN HE IS DONE, HE WOULD CUDDLE ME, GIVE ME A FOOT RUB AND COOK ME A MEAL….EEEVVEEERRRRYYYYTIIIMMMEE….

  28. Technical Virgin

    December 22, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    Sooooo I dated this dude with an above average jt, my problem is I wasn’t interested in being disvirgined butttttt noooooo I found myself nakid like till today I don’t know how he did it,lol but anyway then he said I could be a technical virgin, and boy I cldn’t resist another attempt, I would have given in, so I rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
    Now I look back n wonder not in regret, juxx WONDER, like waoh.

  29. elsa

    December 22, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Laughed so hard my daughter thought I was laughing at her jokes…..hilarious..

  30. Nefertiti

    December 22, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    Good enough that we run from the over sized ones. The under age ones nko? That can only penetrate with a doggy (Pls excuse my french) I don’t even know which one is better sef…Na wa!

  31. OJ

    December 22, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    women and prick shaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! hian!

  32. June

    December 22, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    Lmaoooooo! This is hilarious ! Rollinggggg! Like reallyyyy though!

  33. Anon

    December 22, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    To contribute to the debate just this weekend was having the same conversation with my girlfriend. From experience I think average joe does it for me. When a guy is too small it’s sad and painful as you won’t feel anything when he is too big also (or maybe as some other commenters have pointed out- doesn’t know how to work it) it can be painful and I can’t just wait for him to come and be done with it. Best sexual experience for me has been with an average joe it was so good that even though it’s been over one year I have stayed away in the hope that the next one will be that good or better. I mean for the first time in my life I did all nighter everytime without wishing we wee done(maybe attraction to the fella helped also like I was really into him) though a friend of mine has been teasing me that God help me with all these my waiting I will now get a one minute man told him sex for women it’s about the quality not quantity but ko she bi one minute man sha this sex matter sef it’s what economists call experience goods you don’t know what you’d get until you try it and sometimes it can be disappointing or surprisingly pleasant. Majority of my friends seems to agree with the average joe been better though some say as one of one commenter points out that they prefer the bitter sweep experience. Tis well this sex matter no easy

    • Anon

      December 22, 2015 at 5:48 pm

      Han Han so many typos that’s what happens when you type from a phone and you are in a hurry as well: *were, is, seem, being, sweet.

  34. Cece

    December 22, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    @ My Name is Not Susan: So its ok for a young 14 year old to read this right?

  35. Idomagirl

    December 22, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    ??????

  36. Cece

    December 22, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Let me rephrase, Bella Naija knows there are very young readers.

    • temitope

      December 23, 2015 at 12:30 am

      If you dont want your children to read what’s on bella then tell them not to. Don’t blame others if you can’t control your kids. Mtchewwww

    • Hmmm

      December 23, 2015 at 1:48 am

      Where are the parents? And why would any child be on BN? Abeg police your children properly.

  37. Spunky

    December 22, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    Lol! Ladies…

  38. Becky

    December 22, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    What is big? Is a6 inch girth and 7.5inch length big enough? We need numbers for those who have measurements

    • Drknite

      December 22, 2015 at 7:11 pm

      Oh Becky!!!

  39. Suwa

    December 22, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Please which one is better because I’m still a virgin and don’t know much about the sizes

  40. Ocean Beauty

    December 22, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    It’s is not the size of the engine that matters but how well the captain is able to maneuver the boat to get to its destination. (Stolen).
    Some guys are womb destroyers sha. I have been lucky not to come across HERODS in my life. Many Europeans and Asians (who my path always cross theirs) are not endowed in that department. But then it’s the ability of the captain that matters.
    There’s this popular Nigerian comedian. Each time there’s a photo of the wife, I always look at here in awe. (If I give clue, BN will swallow my comments)

    • iyke

      December 22, 2015 at 8:02 pm

      @ocean Beauty Forget the ‘it’s not the size quote….men with small penis are not consoled by that.Everyman wants it big…we don’t care if it hurts you…The bigger the better for our self confidence.We may not tell you but that’s every small man’s desire.You see the way you girls are lamenting about how big your ex’s dicks were,if these men are reading these comments,they’d be giggling…We don’t care if you want it average….We want it big.
      It’s game over if a man with a small or average penis finds out that his competitor has a bigger tool.
      It’s all psychological..
      Ladies.if you love your man and he has a small penis help him on how best to use it..Teach him how to eat you up really well to compensate for what he doesn’t have otherwise your thoughts will always. be with the ass hole that has a bigger penis.
      What a disgrace for a man to have a small willie,can’t compensate by eating you up very well and upon that,can’t even last more than 45mins…yet he will be so jealous,abusive and stingy….?

    • Californiabawlar

      December 22, 2015 at 9:41 pm

      Giggling uh? It’s all fun and games until someone ends up dead! (Refer to @whocares) ?

    • Ano

      December 23, 2015 at 5:24 am

      Did you time yourself to know that you could last 45 minutes of P in V sex? Most people have no sense timing and will do only 3 mins of sex and in their minds think they have done 30 mins! Think about when you are on the treadmill, your mind and body tells you you have been running or walking for 1 hour and you check the machine timer and you have not even done 10 minutes!

      Same goes with penis size, people who have no idea of sizes or lenghts will tell you their ideal penis size is 12 inches! Measure 12 inches and decide if that is ideal or if you want that inside you.

  41. justsayying

    December 22, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    So……trying so hard not to laugh. Thanks BN for this article made my evening.
    The size gist han, personally average 6inch is just right for me. Too small…..no way!
    I dated a guy with a bigger than normal once and for a chic who likes to stay ontop, it was suicidal.
    Average 6inch is just right> For the biggies, no bj”s if you get me!

  42. December Wind

    December 22, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Okay I have to activate my erotic mode on this one…. This piece and comments is quite chilling and relaxing. Ehmm get me a glass of wine please.. Ehen how many inches is it again ? We’d be needing a tape to get the exact measurement *coughs

    On a more serious note . For those of y’all craving the jumbo size , except it’s your hubby’s , don’t try it! You’d only end up stretching yourself to a point that anything average or less will no longer do sh** for you. Secondly, just because your friends fancy the big size doesn’t mean you need it . Have you seen their holes ? Ofcourse sizes of of our Janes varies as well the Johns

  43. Simplyjane

    December 22, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    Mahn, hooked up with this dude. Kinda big…dunno what I had in mind. Mebbe because he was big, i thought his duck would be normal average sized. Boy, was I wrong! I felt like a stuck pig, nowhere to wriggle. Teabagging nko, I nearly puked. Sadly that went nowhere. Just thinking about that duck shivers my timbers any day, anytime. Oi oi oi

  44. KMT

    December 22, 2015 at 7:26 pm

    Honey please, women give birth to 11 pound babies, flesh and BONE. Skull + boney shoulders. And in the same hour that hole shrinks back innocently as if no I didnt just birth that baby.Stop with the theatrics already.women don’t lay eggs , no mam! and the vagina ain’t rigid, it anit dead and frozen it expands and can contract. When a woman is in labour the obsetrician or midwife checks dilutation with finger measurements yep all five fingers disappear up that thiny tiny hole. How the hell do women get their smear test ? With a big ass metal speculum !!. Makes no difference if you’re a virgin or hoho a big d**K will fit. Except you’re an ice maiden with a dead vajaja frozen in time. In which case it will crack and split if you insert a finger.

    • ,,just saying

      December 22, 2015 at 9:51 pm

      Pele o! 10 inch dicker

    • KMT

      December 22, 2015 at 10:45 pm

      Pele o! Jail house pussy!?

    • bokun

      December 23, 2015 at 12:17 am

      LMAO at jail house pussy. looooool . My dear a guy can put 2 hands up your vagina and even clap for you. Vagina is the incredible expanding and shrinking organ. It’s elastic.

    • Zsa Zsa

      December 22, 2015 at 11:43 pm

      I see your point but c’mon now. You can’t use birth as a comparison.
      A woman has about 40 weeks of a constant supply of hormones that prepares the body for child birth, even at that the child birth still hurts. As far as smear test, a speculum its nothing compared to a penis. No theatrics here, it is what it is.

      The size thing can be a hassle, even after 3 kids i still struggle a bit with hubby size but creativity is key.

    • passinby

      December 23, 2015 at 8:40 am

      You have had three babies pass through and you have problem with your husbands d_. Choi! Nigerian women sha !Why the f_ you lying , you always lying oh my God Stop the fucking lying. Yep woman you is lying or you don hit menopause and no matter wat the man do you no dey wet.

    • abiola

      December 23, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      You must have a serious case of prickophobia . I’ve been through child birth and I will choose any size d*k any day compared to pushing out a small mammal. Through my pelvic through my cervix and then out of my vagina. Firdt child i had third degree tear .Dick only goes through vagina tunnel . Lets Just Face it. Some people don’t just enjoy sex. That’s the long and short of it.

    • vanessa

      December 23, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      ? i doubt you have given birth before maybe c/section because no amount of 9 month preparation can prepare a womans vagina to the explosive agonising pain of child birth. Trust me ive just put to bed last week. there is notting in this world to discribe child birth pain, NOTTING. that burning horrible pain when the head starts to stretch the vagina opening. na real fire. fire in the toto region. no joking oh. sometimes they now put forcepts or kiwi to pull the head out that is after using one big scissor to open up the vagina enterance. which prick i wan fear now.

    • Zsa Zsa

      December 24, 2015 at 10:40 pm

      Wow, i see reading and COMPREHENSION is an issue.

      I did say CREATIVITY IS KEY, but never mind.

      Also, how do you doubt someone else’s sex or birth experience? I had very quick labor and small babies. Read a persons view and move on.

    • Not sue

      January 10, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      I agree with @ Zsa Zsa the female body prepares you for birth for a long time even after all this hormonal preparation some women still tear (due to their small Janes not anything else) how much more a duck entering there without no preparation. Although it is an elastic muscle but it has it limit. Also even after tearing most healed parts form fibrous tissue which usually is not elastic anymore, in some cases this might make the Jane tighter or looser depending on the repair.

  45. OJ

    December 22, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    No wonder a lady once told me that two fingers is not enough for her during fingering….that her hole can take up a whole hand…what has she been hammering or what has been hammering her? o di kwa serious ooo…..madam BBC!!!

  46. Teambigdick

    December 22, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    I like it big and above average please. Guys with small dicks need not to chat to me please. The worst is the guys with skinny and long dicks it makes me feel sick. Well I’m celebate now for the past 2 years. Father Lord pls let my husband have a big dick AMEN

  47. ifepe nnennia

    December 22, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    Its so funny how the comments re pouring in without anyone commenting on the fact that most of the scenarios here re premarital sex.everybody is happy to comment but its so funny how another girl will share her story on how she kept her virginity till her wedding night and guess what almost everyone will condemn her for acting too holy.isn’t it funny how immorality is given the high lead in our society but morals is been soft peddaled

    • DIddy

      December 23, 2015 at 4:25 am

      If you don’t have anything reasonable to write just disappear and take this your poison to another place, it’s not that we know what happens with you behind closed doors, u reminding us that we are sinners is like reminding us also that u are a pharisee.

    • huh

      December 23, 2015 at 11:09 am

      What happened to freedom of speech. live and let live? Let em speak joor.

    • Idomagirl

      December 23, 2015 at 8:22 am

      Abeg \___ Holy nweje, na una type do pass.

    • sultana

      December 23, 2015 at 9:57 am

      Thanks for this ifepe, you are so right! people, HIV is real!

  48. busola

    December 23, 2015 at 12:15 am

    And when my friend told me on sunday about how she cried and begged to leave when she saw the penis of a guy she hooked up with I thought she was exaggerating now I know it’s really true

  49. nekita

    December 23, 2015 at 1:58 am

    If you are not prepared for sex it will be painful because you are not naturally lubricated. If you are unfortunate enough to have a selfish lover, then sex will be a chore. If your vagina is not healthy may be from tissue damage from circumcision then it has lost elements of its elasticity so sex may become painful, hence it may be better if you had a smaller medium size penis. Otherwise if you are a healthy women with a normal mature vagina,:then size of penis should not be a problem. if you really think about it rationally if a baby can pass through there how much more a penis. I have come to realise that some women like to talk about the tightness of their vaginas as if it’s a virtue!?. It’s just a silly school girl myth. Truth be told guys can’t tell the difference:a hole is a hole.

  50. DIddy

    December 23, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Some like it big but most prefers it moderate, but u must all agree dat it comes in different shapes just as vaginas comes in different shapes and sizes, so most times its best u have a taste or feel the thing u want for yourself, if it is something you can deal with it good for u, but if it is something you can’t handle pls walk away

  51. Ano

    December 23, 2015 at 5:34 am

    I wonder if all the people commenting even knows what 5 inches, 6 inches, 7 or 12 inches really is? Get a tape measurement first before you comment. To make it easy, 12 inches is the length of a long note book or a ruler to be more precise. So people talking 9 – 12 inches most likely have no clue what they are talking about.

  52. coded deek

    December 23, 2015 at 6:22 am

    Ladies and deek eish, hmm!

    Anyways, i get am and i know how to use it.

    FYI, if you stay in Abuja and need a good coded deek this xmas break, send me a mail on codeddeek at yahoo dot com

    N.B, 1. Your life will never remain the same after an experience
    2. Nothing good is free, be ready to pay for the services.
    3. An agreement will be signed by both parties that it is consensual, no use of gadget of any sort, venue is only known to both of us….and any violation of the contract can be used against the other party in a court of law
    3. Skin to skin service is available, only that we both will present medical screening certificate done a day before the sweet encounter
    4. Other services are available at an extra cost!

    What are you waiting for? send me a mail right now!

    • Jane

      December 23, 2015 at 10:43 am

      U try!!!! skin to skin abi.. when HIV knack u, u ll be alright. medical results that can be doctored.. Olosho!! Godspeed..

  53. tobi

    December 23, 2015 at 10:17 am

    As far as I am concerned it’s Not the Size of the tool that Matters but How the tool is put to use. Also women sexuality is wired into their emotional mental wellbeing. So if you are stressed out, not emotionally connected to your partner, if you have experienced trauma in the vagina e.g you associate that area with pain then sex will not be a pleasurable experience. You need to be able to sort out your issue .,:sex is not supposed to be painful.

  54. Honey molasses

    December 23, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Mr oj you talk dirty like my ex and what would you know his name is also oj!!! In the voice of johnny depp reveal ur self !!!

  55. therealerniemac

    December 23, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    Wow!
    Women = freaks

  56. Beauty

    December 24, 2015 at 8:36 am

    My husband is big. Not huge. Just the perfect size. The First day we had sex, I knew he was a keeper. Abeg I stand for the quote “too much of ‘something’ is not good”

  57. OJ

    December 24, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Some prokos are so big that once it goes in the VJ u’ll al most think it would come out on the other side…the ASS lol!!!!!

  58. zander

    December 25, 2015 at 12:12 am

    Is it true that most Nigerian women are circumcised and is that why most of youall got ouchy vajizles. I once dated this nigerian chick she kept crying each time we try to have sex and expected me to pet her afterwards. Nawh man ditched that for a real woman.

    • ATL's finest

      December 28, 2015 at 11:31 pm

      U suck yourself and ur ass ain’t no real man either ; so DEUCES..

  59. need Dick?

    January 21, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    The Size of the Dick does not really matter but it’s better above average or big! A size 7 is perfect for most girls in my experience
    Pleasuring a Babe is an Art and Very few men understand this! U can’t want sex and tell her to remove pant, put finger in Pussy then ur Dick!!! Noooo u have to play with her, tell her sweet things, play with her ears, neckline with ur tongue then play with d back line of her head, then Suck her naval, boobs for a while, trust me at this point she is soaked down der! Then finally u give her good Head on the Clits for as long as she keeps Cumming until she begs u to come inside with ur Dick…..She will be singing Hallelujah at this level! All this could take 1 hour or All Nite depends on the ladies strength ooooo!! Every woman loves great sex unfortunately most guys don’t know how to pleasure SAD

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