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Seun Akinlosotu: Would You Return Extravagant Gifts From a Suitor?

Seun Akinlosotu

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It’s October 15, and it’s my birthday. I wake up to see a barrage of birthday messages on my phone; mbok, Naija people una no dey sleep? Ahn…ahn, it’s all love though and I love you all back. Among the birthday shout outs was a message from a toaster. Now this toaster is a little bit on the older side, around the 10-15 years range, but was a single man looking to settle down again.
Let’s call him Kashamaawo. Kashamawo has been on my case for donkey years and my response has always been “bros, you are a bros and I want it to remain that way. I cannot venture into that age gap, too much for me plus I don’t want to be that boo that’s got a boo.” Bros, will always say, “okay I hear you.” He will go date someone else to my relief, and since they all don’t work out he will come back saying, “Seun now, I won’t be going through all this heartbreak if only you would say yes to me.”

Anyway, this is my birthday and I have to go to work as usual so I get ready, in high spirit, fielding phone calls and texting as I open my door to leave my house. Right in front of my house is a big ass red bow on top of something. The bow is so big I can barely tell what’s underneath it. It turns out to be a car. A brand new, ochara, chassis Toyota Camry. My handbag flies off my hand as I walk towards the car in shock and apprehension, wondering who, where, how, for who. A man comes out of another car parked in my neighbor’s parking spot; he’s holding a white envelope and walks towards me. Are you Miss Akinsolo/Akinlo/Akinsoro/, I’m sorry Miss I don’t know how to pronounce your name. I turned and gave him that – “is it my father’s name you just butchered like that” look – then said “why are you asking?”
I be Naija girl now, we don’t claim our own selves until we know why. Too much stories that touch the heart these days.
The man proceeds to say well if you are, this brand new car is for you courtesy of Mr. Kashamaawo, Happy Birthday.

I freeze where I am, not sure if I should cry, scream, be happy, be frustrated, I mean how do I explain this to people. Why on earth has Bros Kashamaawo resulted in using such an expensive gift in winning me over? I then tell the car man, biko I do not want. Please take it back and tell Kashamaawo thanks but no thanks. I get into my Passat and drive to work, still wondering if my head is correct for sending the car back. I mean, can’t I just accept it and still maintain the bros\sis relationship? Would this sit well with my parents? The boo? Abi over reading of the Bible is worrying me? Because any normal thinking young woman would not return this gift.

Kashamaawo calls but I refuse to pick up. He pings but I don’t bother opening BBM. More and more calls but I refuse to answer.

Fast forward to the afternoon, I leave work early and get home only to find another big ass bow on another thing again in front of my house! This time it’s a Mercedes E400 4MATIC! If you know this car, you’ll know it’s a badass car.

The same car sales man comes out of his own car with that envelope again; Miss Akinlo/Akinsoro/ Akinsolotu, I am so sorry ma’am; I will get your name right soon. Mr. Kashamaawo felt you were offended with the Toyota so he decided to send this Mercedes instead. I hope we got it right this time around.
At this point, I’m weak. I just walked around the car in amazement; I opened the door to see the inside, and mehnnnn it’s the fully loaded version. I quickly shut the car door and walked towards the entrance of my house, turned and told the sales man, No thanks, please take it away. I quickly entered my house before I changed my mind.
2 minutes later bros Kashamawo starts calling incessantly but I refuse to pick up.

2 hours later, my doorbell rings, and I open it only to see the car sales man outside my house again! Behind him was an even bigger bow on a Range Rover Sport. I immediately started shouting ohhhh myyyyy Lordddd; next thing I felt was someone (my mum) shaking me and talking: Seun, Seun, Seunnnnnn, won’t you wake up? It’s past 7am o, what kind of sleep are you sleeping like that…ahn..ahn, come and help me look at this picture I want to use as my Facebook profile picture.

Mcheww, so wait o, I was just dreaming this entire time? No Kashamaawo, no Range? Mehnnnn….

Dear Bella Naijarians, what kind of extravagant gifts have you received from toasters, even from the sugar and splenda types.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Ron Chapple

Seun Akinlosotu is a Tech Analyst by day and an aspiring Writer by midnight. She's a self proclaimed Romanticist who likes to write light heartedly. Her write ups are geared at a cross mix of audience, none of which will need an Oxford Dictionary to understand her. There's more to read from her at www.lovedeyshackme.blogspot.com. & on IG @Chechecosmos

56 Comments

  1. beauty

    December 4, 2015 at 10:25 am

    Lool, Seun you gat me, nice one! Having said that, if I know deep down in my heart that I don’t want anything serious, special and intimate with a guy, I would not collect a huge gift such as a Range!!!

    • ATL's finest

      December 4, 2015 at 4:30 pm

      @ Beauty same here! If it ain’t serious and I know I really don’t want u, nah I will pass. I have returned a nice gift before (not a car tho) lol but it was mailed back to me ; Oh well my luck. Come to think of if, Ciara never returned the half a million dollar ring she got from Future so why so I return a huge gift??? Well it will be in a Consignment store till I figure out what to do with it…

    • emma

      December 4, 2015 at 6:08 pm

      She returned the ring and he posted photos of himself wearing the ring on his IG.

    • Nkechi

      December 6, 2015 at 7:53 pm

      I will return it o even if it is a house. Don’t like putting myself in an uncomfortable situation. You need to know that many men are not stupid. He gave for a purpose, you told him you were not interested initially and then if he realizes that all he needed to do to buy you was a Mercedes or Range, your own is finished in that relationship. If you change your mind about a man, let it not be because he gave a car.You have sold your dignity and respect. Remember you did not give in because of the age bracket not because he did not have a car. Will money buy out your reason? Are you so fickle, not strong enough to stand by your decision. Finally, how will the guy view you after getting you. He will see you as someone money can buy just name your price. The man may eventually leave you and go for a woman he can respect.

  2. DanKalion

    December 4, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Mscheeeew… And here I was drooling with envy. Wedone.

  3. Puzzles

    December 4, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Men! I thought your dream was real o! I was shouting FATHER LORD!!!! when you said you saw the Range Rove Sport! Chai! See dream!!!

    On a serious note, I would have returned the Range o. E go pain me sha but I’ve always had this motto: if you no like the guy, no collect ANYTHING from am, not even recharge card.

    Adopted it ever since I heard some guys actually keep a list of things they buy for a girl so that they can tell “after I bought her this and that…..” story. This motto has kept me free from any drama from any toaster.

    Some people think my motto is silly. Like my sis would say “I put hand for him pocket????” Everyone with their way sha. Whatever your conscience agrees with.

    • whocares

      December 4, 2015 at 11:45 am

      @ puzzles – a guy buys you a car and you dont want him? all the better for you to lengthen the distance. If you cant run far enough, drive far. loool. But I agree with you. I do not accept gifts from guys I do not like. In fact I can count on one hand the amount of times I have accepted a gift from a guy. It makes me feel indebted. I hate that feeling. I have never been able to accept extravagant gifts and gifts as such do not do much for me (service oriented person ). My favourite types of gifts are the small ones. For example a person goes out, sees a bar soap he thinks I might like and buy it. I actually got teary.. over a bar of soap (it was those natural home made ones) . Its a random gift yes but it lets you know that at that time whilst they were walking around shopping for milk or whatever it was he was doing, he had you in mind or you came to mind. (or it might mean that maybe I stink. one can’t be too sure with these things. I delicately sniffed myself and confirmed that nooo it cant be that. Fresh as a baby’s newly powdered buttocks yo) extravagant gifts do not necessarily convey that to me, beht anywalz diamonds are a girl’s best friend. I suppose with enough diamonds, and maybe a bugatti I will manage, and allow myself to be persuaded that extravagant gifts are ok. I’d rather think about my feelings for a guy in a range rover than a keke napep. lool.

    • matilda

      December 4, 2015 at 1:59 pm

      hahaha @whocares….. I love the way to think…like me…. coz the first thing I thought about the soap bit was awwwww….. and then immediately thought haha what if it was because you stunk! LOL… we’d become friends if we met

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      December 4, 2015 at 7:09 pm

      Lmaooo I imagined the expression on your face when shouting Father Lord, and literally burst out laughing. Sorry ehn… it was just a dream

  4. Joy

    December 4, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Wao!!! you got me,,,, hahahah just a dream abi.. okay.
    so i def wont collect such extravagant gifts from someone i know that i m not interested in like that, but a range sha!!! kai!!! God give me strenght to say NAY!!! WWJD..

  5. Bukky

    December 4, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Lmaoo me I’m sorry o. I will collect o. What ya say ? Reject Range Rover? Lmaoo I will so collect.

  6. Fifi

    December 4, 2015 at 10:41 am

    Lol i would have taken the first car God knows, he already knows i see him as a Bro, as far as im concerned he buying me a car or showering me with gifts is his brotherky duty

  7. NewToThis

    December 4, 2015 at 10:50 am

    I received a Celine bag not from a toaster but from a young man who was already involved with someone else

  8. Queen of Everything

    December 4, 2015 at 11:01 am

    I will return it.
    I am a fiercely independent spirit, any OTT attempt sets off a red flag because my affection simply cannot be bought.
    That’s how in uni I was dating this guy, he would drive all the way from London to Portsmouth to “surprise” me. My yeye housemates would let him in because they think he was nice, I knew from how he was raised that his parents spoilt him and for him gifting = affection/love. But he did not see the error of his ways… That’s how he wanted to buy me a double bed because the house I lived in had just single beds as we were all students. Needless to say I told him he needed to re-evaluate what love is and come correct.
    I did not hold my breath, he did not come back, I guess he found someone else that could be bought. Each to their own.

    • SugaMama

      December 4, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      That could have been his love language and not him trying to buy your love, you know. There is nothing wrong with that. Not everytime fiercely independent spirit, sometimes understand people’s personalities.

  9. Chic

    December 4, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Same here. wouldn’t accept any gifts from someone i have no intention to be intimate with (apart from cash gifts directly wired into my account without pre-informing me…#shinesTeeth.. That one is out of your own stubbornness). Don’t want any guy bragging over my assets., or how he’s done this and that for me.. Dude, keep the gifts, I’ll make do with what I have.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      December 4, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Loll @wired money… aii… I hear you

  10. Le coco

    December 4, 2015 at 11:08 am

    hmmm seun nice one oo.. as for toasters.. biko no buy me anything.. I will not collect even if na Ferrari…. partly because opulence doesn’t sway me.. I’m the kinda person tht will have millions nd still buy a mini.. lol.. anyway.. All these toasters head can spark sha.. The moment you take things from them.. its like they own you.. I don’t need tht kinda of thing hanging over me biko…

  11. Rosie

    December 4, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Well, I once collected an expensive gift from a guy who pressured me into dating him, few months into the relationship I realized I just couldn’t stand the presence of the guy (weird). He was a good guy but not meant for me, when i broke up with him, I returned his expensive gift just to lessen the blow I dealt him…. for me, these are material things that can be gotten anytime, if not now, at least later in the future, so why accept a gift from a suitor/toaster if you have no plans for him.

  12. I knew

    December 4, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Before getting to the dream part, i knew it was a fiction!

    Having said that, there are too many greedy human beings out there. If you don’t want him, stay away completely. There are these set of ladies they call USERS.

    Using the man for everything when you knew he wants you and you know you can’t date him.

    Whatever you find at the end of the tunnel, just take it like that

  13. The girl who drinks kai kai

    December 4, 2015 at 11:16 am

    I have never ever returned gifts to suitors!
    Whether its phones, cars, fine jewellery, handbags, watches,Tickets, apartments.
    I always keep them or sell them and buy something else without the givers knowledge.
    Did i ask for it? NO. You gave me.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      December 4, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Lol @ Did I ask you. I like the idea of repurposing the gifts..

  14. Yemisi

    December 4, 2015 at 11:16 am

    Hehehe, you totally got me Seun!! But I wouldn’t accept such extravagant gifts oo.

  15. zeal

    December 4, 2015 at 11:27 am

    it depends on the gift. if it is a gift i loveeeeee, return am unto which level na, never!

  16. Zeeebby

    December 4, 2015 at 11:30 am

    JOSEPHINE ALALA…..LMA

  17. ziti

    December 4, 2015 at 11:31 am

    I am not keen on receiving gifts so I try not to create opportunities for people/suitors to even consider getting me anything #subliminal messaging #issues 🙂

  18. The Buttery Hotness

    December 4, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Loool! You are a scallywag, for real! I was just like, ahn ahn, did this babe dip her face in diamonds? Where can one get this manner of toaster?
    Nne, I always say, dreaming is free, so if you are going to dream, dream big.

  19. janet

    December 4, 2015 at 11:47 am

    oh jeeez grrrrrr. seun you got me soo well..

  20. see them o

    December 4, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    You will see their greedy nature come out here

    Yet they shout equality, they claim the guys treat them somehow but you are laying the foundation for that

  21. Me

    December 4, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    from d moment i started reading i was like ths has to be a dream…i mean like u said who returns such gifts? (i knw ppl can return, but a range men? That one go had o….some girls go don fall mercilessy in love already! Lol

  22. divea

    December 4, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    Seriously, i will so collect if its something that i really need.

  23. cent

    December 4, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    Dope

  24. sisi

    December 4, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    Ah ah, but that’s just him showing brotherly love now.

  25. Mz Titilitious

    December 4, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    well some guys wont let u knw their intentions ….. they may send recharge cards etc and later ask u out….

  26. Blueberry

    December 4, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    lool. The last time I saw this kind of toaster was in a nollywood movie. They are a rare species in real life though.
    The highest a toaster ever offered, was a weekend trip just for two at a beach resort. Toasters these days are too shaaaaarp! Dude offers you a weekend trip for two (him included) because he has made plans to gbensh you proper. My mom didn´t give birth to a fool. I so refused that gift and gave him a solid piece of my mind. He never came back.

  27. poison ivy

    December 4, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Return gifts kwa……I dey craze,
    Which kain oyibo talk be that………..
    BNer’s, Una too dey over do sha

  28. Las

    December 4, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    Mba o! I will return each gift o. How do I know the somebori is not using my own destiny to buy me car? Or that I will ‘have to pay’ for the gifts later. No o, abeg.

    • Meah

      December 4, 2015 at 3:32 pm

      Destiny?
      Which destiny you get?lol
      Abeg go to bed

    • Las

      December 4, 2015 at 5:07 pm

      There you go, missing the humour train again.

  29. Princess P

    December 4, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    I will return it o
    Even if the ‘bros’ still maintains his lane, I will always feel indebted to him
    And that is not a feeling I like

  30. elsa

    December 4, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    lol sooo funny….when I was in uni my bf came to visit with a new car…Honda..i was like you got another car? he just said its for u….ehhhh what am I to do with it???a man got u a car and fear no catch u..he took it back ohhhh..I was so scared lol…..chai

  31. Lizzie-McJesus

    December 4, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    It ain’t nothing but a brotherly gift from a Brother in Christ. I will collect o, maybe he is God’s messenger to me to bless me. lol

    I will pick his call and tell him, – I hope there are no strings attached o, my NO is still a No. I will also ask for the papers of the car so there will be no repossession.

    God loves a cheerful giver and a cheerful receiver too….

    • ATL's finest

      December 4, 2015 at 4:32 pm

      Hahhaha McJesus I hear U.. No be only cheerful giver. These days, a lot of brother don’t do freebies. No free coffee anywhere.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      December 4, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      Lollm @cheerful receiver. Your FB comment @Heavenly Gift is soo funny.

  32. Tru

    December 4, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    Return Fire

  33. Naomi

    December 4, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    What if someone buys a more expensive gift than what your boo got you? will you return it?

  34. YUMMY CHICK CUM MUMMY

    December 4, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    damn……… wat a dream. i might fall in love o………….it take a not greedy person not to fall.

  35. AsherGenesis

    December 4, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Ahhh ahhh BN babes…You peeepu can like for Olympics ooo!!! “Yen Yen Yen I will return his gift.. Ya Ya Ya I don’t want to be indebted to him… Ye Ye Ye I can’t take gifts from a guy I don’t like” – It’s this one that I don’t even understand sef- So in essence, if a girl I’m chyking is steadily eating my money and collecting my gifts it would mean that she’s feeling the boy? I thought it was actually the other way around.

    Thing is, I think the situations (especially with the guy involved) vary, particularly in cases where some ladies say they don’t want to feel indebted to the toaster – The kind of person I am(and I believe there are many of my kind out there) , If I buy you a gift because I’m in love with you/chyking you – I absolutely wouldn’t expect you to repay me or give me something in return or feel somewhat indebted to me, even if you don’t feel the same way towards me. If I express my love for you by sending you gifts, I really don’t think you should return it to me- Firstly it comes across as being rude and most importantly you’ll be denying me the pleasure of seeing you having something I know you truly need or love. The pleasure I refer to here is not the self-centered or subliminally narcissistic pleasure, but just that honest pleasure of knowing you’ve made someone’s life better …. Even if it’s just a pack of Tom Tom I gave you because your mouth is always in Stank mode.

  36. Oyin Folayan

    December 4, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    OMG,i was about saying chai, habana collect it dear aunty, if I hear say I return anyone of the gifts….

  37. Seun Akinlosotu

    Seun Akinlosotu

    December 4, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Lolll @ the comments. This is why I absolutely LOVE BellaNaijarians.
    The thing with accepting gifts these days has a lot to do with who’s gifting, more than the reason. A lot of us don’t want to accept gifts from someone we are not in a relationship with because we want to avoid the whole I bought for you I now own you syndrome. But even when you get a gift from the BAE, it could be with recompense. Someone told me a couple of weeks ago that when she broke up with her ex, he collected EVERY single gift he ever bought her, even the money he had given her over time. I meannnnn, who does that now! Imagine if the Range was one of those gifts, and she has no other car; she becomes automatically carless. Nah mehnn.
    In addition, how you are given a gift could speak volumes. I once had an ex who decided to buy me a new phone as a birthday gift because the one I had was really an eyesore (even I would admit – but I’ve never really cared about things like that. As long as I can type on the keyboard, and I hear\say hello, I’m all good).
    Dude brought the phone on my birthday and tossed it at me- darn near breaking my head in the process, and says “I bought that phone for you at so so amount of money because I feel if people see you using a good phone I’ll get the credit for it”. While I was initially excited at my new phone, his utterance just killed the excitement for me. I was more like biko why did you have to kill this moment for me abeg?? Your very first gift to me too… sheeesh.
    Guess who would use that phone everyday till the credit and battery ran out each day?
    Yup, you guessed right.
    So, unfortunately one has to careful with gifts from “funny” significant others. it’s just that what do you say when someone you’re dating gives you a gift that you won’t hear word for the rest of your life because of? No, thanks I don’t want?

  38. Amaka

    December 4, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Omg Seun, I am so proud of you….. Your post is so captivating.You Rock girl !

  39. Maka why

    December 4, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Seun!!!! My mouth hung open and I was already asking God why Me till I read the last part. You got me. Hook, line and sinker.
    If I don’t like a toaster I don’t collect anything from him. Not even a bottle of coke. I just can’t. I haven’t been offered a car by an ‘unliked’ toaster though. I will probably come straight out and tell him I can’t accept cos I don’t see us going anywhere. In the rare instance that he insists…..well, whats a sister to do?
    If I like I collect and reciprocate, though not always at same cost.
    As for them guys/dates who count what they spend on you, I just run from them fast. No time.

  40. Cindy

    December 4, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    The last time I checked, when you want to love, it’s about the other person’s love language and not yours.

  41. ogeAdiro

    December 4, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Gift get level, and talk is cheap. Wait until someone actually gifts you a brand new Range Rover (long wait for 99%). The difference between Bros and Boo na perception. And nothing messes with our perception of other people like money.

  42. DD

    December 6, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    Toaster or no toasted …I was engaged to a guy … preparing for marriage….paid some of the bride price … somehow along the line alot had happened too many lies and horrible stories with prove i just couldn’t imagine some one that wanted to spend forever with me will do ..i wasn’t down for it we both decided to call it off .b4 proper rites.. I stopped wearing the ring …..few days later he asked for the ring ….i was shocked so i arranged the ring in the little box with other gifts he gave me with it …and asked him to come collect it cos I was such he knew how to get it, my address et al….With no hard feelings cos I was done and till date he hasn’t come to get it or collect the little they (him and his family) had paid as part of the bridal price ….months after I heard he got married to someone else ..

  43. tomeloma

    December 7, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    Nice one, you really got me with that…

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