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Seun Akinlosotu: Eating Like a Glutton is a Relationship Deal Breaker For Me! What’s Yours?

Seun Akinlosotu

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dreamstime_l_8754628Let’s just dive in here, people; what could turn you off from an intended spouse during the dating process?
We all date with a purpose; for some it is just for companionship, and for others it is to find the ideal partner to spend the rest of their lives with. Some people just even want a steady person to hit the sheets with, no strings attached. The common thing here, regardless of the purpose, is that we all do the dating thing. This might be another over flogged topic so let me apologise in advance, and ask that you indulge me and those reading for the first time.

There are a million and one things that irk people or just make you know ‘naaaa, she/he ain’t the one”. It could be a major thing and in some cases very little things. I am one of those who doesn’t pay attention to big things; like the value of a gift I’ve been given, but I will notice how your mouth moves while eating.

About 5 years ago, a pastor friend of mine started showing more than usual interest in me and had talked about possibly dating. Now, he used to live in the same State as me,  and during that time I never saw him as more than a True Religion wearing hip Pastor (fine boy Pastor things), therefore, I did not pay attention to other non spiri-koko behaviour. Then he moved to another State and started talking “I had been eyeing you from a distance” talk. Anyway, he wanted to come visit me, spend the weekend hanging out and getting to know each other.
On the said day he was to arrive, we were to go to dinner after he had settled in at his hotel. Unfortunately there were multiple delays of his flight and would not arrive until much later at night when most restaurants would be closed. I then decided to buy food from an African restaurant for both of us before they closed, and bring it to his hotel when he landed instead. I didn’t know what he liked, so I decided to buy 3 different plates of food – Jollof Rice, Yam Porridge, Poundo Yam and Efo Riro. Each plate came with 3 pieces of assorted meat/fish/chicken. I figured he could not eat 3 plates of food now, and since I didn’t have a particular preference I would just let him make his choice and I would settle for the last plate standing.
I arrived at his hotel just as he arrived as well. After all the small talk and greetings, he noticed me tugging the plates of food and he beamed in delight. He said “mehnn I’m so happy you did this, how thoughtful of you, I’m so hungry…etc.”

He proceeded to spread out all 3 plates in front of him; I sat on the chair there and was like oh I wasn’t sure what you liked but one of those is for me sha. He said “oh ok, this is all so good I can’t even decide”. Then he dipped one hand into one plate to grab a piece of meat, and he continued like that until he was done with 6 pieces of meat/chicken and the plate of Poundo Yam and Jollof. I sat there staring at him like a deer facing a head light. He was talking the whole time.

At this point, there was stew on every corner of his mouth/beard/moustache, and I was struggling to keep a straight face. Then, he belched loudly and then dipped his hand into the yam porridge to grab some fish!

That’s it, I was done! Arghhhhhh, I couldn’t stand the scene anymore. I was so nauseated I was sure I would throw up. I grabbed my sling bag and told him I’ll be right back, I need to get something from my car. He nodded his head and did not even lift his head up.

I got to my car and drove straight home. I never saw him after that, and even though we spoke on the phone a few times after that I never told him what turned me off. I just gently gave him the “I want to go and climb Mount Kilimanjaro first so I am not ready for a relationship” speech.
Even till now, when I remember the stew/oil/mouth and the obvious gluttony behavior I get nauseated. I can’t deal abeg….I can’t.

Table manners is a deal breaker for me. I’m not asking for Stepford wives/husband kind of table manners but abeg use some napkins. If you must talk while eating (which we all do), please make sure most of the content in your mouth is gone before talking. In addition, if the food is not meant for just you, please be considerate.

So what’s a dating deal breaker for you, or what has an intended done that turned you off completely?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Seun Akinlosotu is a Tech Analyst by day and an aspiring Writer by midnight. She's a self proclaimed Romanticist who likes to write light heartedly. Her write ups are geared at a cross mix of audience, none of which will need an Oxford Dictionary to understand her. There's more to read from her at www.lovedeyshackme.blogspot.com. & on IG @Chechecosmos

82 Comments

  1. brunofiercetwo

    July 18, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Naa men, this is more than being a glutton, it shows greed and other things. Eeewwww what rubbish! For me I have a lot, Someone who isnt clean, wears no deodorant, unkept and LIES! aaarrggghh I hate people who lie easily… God help us.

  2. BM

    July 18, 2016 at 11:01 am

    Great post Seun

  3. Cindy

    July 18, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Ego I think is the major deal breaker for me. I love humble people generally so I can’t stand a proud man. I’d know from how he relates with people around, how he talks about the third person, what he says about his exes (I’m not a fan of demonizing people), how he views women in general etc. When he starts saying things like “you women sha……..”, I start getting turned off. I don’t like it when people make noise with their mouth so much that you can hear them chew from the other end of the room or men who eat a lot in general. All that’ll be on my mind is that this one will definitely have a problem with me the day I don’t cook. Then, I can’t stand dirty men. The type that’ll use toilet and pee on the seat or leave skid marks in the toilet bowl, those that can’t clean up after themselves, can’t wash the plate they used to eat or at least leave it neatly on the sink, can’t bath properly, fling things here and there. I don’t like clusters and I don’t like looking for things. And I don’t intend to be cleaning up after someone for the rest of my life. No babies needed.

    • Dee

      July 18, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      You just described my ex!!!! All of the above and then proceeds to stick his finger in his mouth after eating. “Oh I don’t like blowing my nose in public” Loudly swallows phlegm! ???

    • LemmeRant

      July 18, 2016 at 8:54 pm

      But then we are supposed to love you ladies for “who you are”.

      Lol. just lol.

    • Tobigirl

      July 20, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Lady, I don’t even need to write my own deal breakers, you have spoken my mind! i kept saying oh my God, oh my God. ? (Grimace face)

  4. truetalk

    July 18, 2016 at 11:42 am

    @cindy Jesus is coming a second time he will definately meet u at ur point of need..

    • Cindy

      July 18, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      I’m trying to get the point of your comment. Everyone has standards I think and I don’t think mine is too much yet. It’s a free world please, no need for your sacarsm. You have your deal breakers too and I don’t intend to judge you for them ?

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:26 pm

      lol.. why so mean now. Cindy don’t mind him o.

  5. S

    July 18, 2016 at 11:54 am

    LOL. Ayamaaa!

    On a first date with this dude on my birthday, he started off by saying, ”I’m usually finer than this, work got me looking this way blah blah…”. He ordered a bottle of Star Lager for the sake of ”being real”, asked to finish up his bottle after I told him I was set to leave and saw no sense in studying Accounting in sch.

    I knew there and then, that was the end of the beginning.

    Another was the guy who said that he ”gave” me missed call. You know I repeated his statement thinking twas a slip, dude reaffirmed and said it again.
    T0h! Adieu son! .

    • Princess P

      July 18, 2016 at 12:36 pm

      lol @ gave you missed call…..did you collect the missed call?

    • Sarah

      July 18, 2016 at 6:59 pm

      They use that in England a lot tho
      “Give me a missed call when you get to my place”

    • emeraldish

      July 18, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      lmao

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:26 pm

      lmaooooooo @ gave you missed call. loll I swear you guys have the funnies stories ever.

    • Peaches77

      July 18, 2016 at 6:05 pm

      Not sure there’s anything wrong with the missed call sentence. Heard it a lot with Indians when they meant to say “i flashed you” or “flash me” (Nigerian style) especially for the purpose of exchanging contacts. At first, it sounded like bad English but i thought about it and It didn’t seem so baad. Well accepted by me now.

    • Wanderlust _Trekeffect?

      July 19, 2016 at 5:15 am

      Gave you a missed call is not incorrect, it’s a slang which is pretty common in a lot of places including US, if someone told you to “hit me up” would you also say adieu because the literal translation doesn’t make much sense? Hmm

  6. Princess P

    July 18, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Dirty and Stingy people turn me off completely

  7. Beard gang

    July 18, 2016 at 12:13 pm

    Haba Seun that was harsh lol! proper table etiquettes can be taught. i can’t ditch somebody just because of bad table manners i’d rather correct the person. some bad habits can be straightened out, its not like he was a gambler or an alcoholic or diabolic or violent or had lascivious habits. Anyway your life your principles

    • nwa nna

      July 18, 2016 at 12:51 pm

      @Beard gang, I think you missed the point.. The table manners can be corrected, but he was being a glutton and I’m a believer that everything we do affects everything else.. So, chances are if he eats that way then there’s more to come. I couldn’t be wrong, but it’s those subtle signs that we miss or ignore earlier on in relationships that typically comes back to bite us.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:25 pm

      Lolll…it wasn’t just the etiquette part nau, the guy was greedy.

  8. Pablo

    July 18, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    I once tried to date a guy who was good looking, spoke well and financially stable but I just couldn’t go past the fact that he did not know the difference between I’m and am, there and their, and other minor grammatical errors. I was so turned off by his text messages that I just couldn’t pursue the relationship.

    • Esther Dan

      July 18, 2016 at 2:09 pm

      I have a lot of friends like the guy you once dated who do the same mistakes over and over again. I always reply them using the correct consonants, vowels and grammatical functions. Many yoruba guys make these mistakes but guess what? No one is perfect and English is our borrowed language our L2.

    • Anonymous

      July 18, 2016 at 11:58 pm

      Madam esther i bow for you oh!! Yo make a mistake not do a mistake. horrible sentence construction, infact you are the queen of yoruba english. Oversabi pepeye. i pity whomever’s grammar you are correcting, that person is doomed..
      As an aside, i am not usually this way, but some people rub me the wrong way. apologies

    • Wanderlust _Trekeffect?

      July 19, 2016 at 5:19 am

      “Who DO the same mistakes” talk about foot in mouth????? y’all giving me life tonight

  9. iyke

    July 18, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    While women may have many ‘Deal-Breakers’ on whether to date or marry a man, there is one ‘Super-Deal-breaker’ that men (MYSELF) carry around in my own unconscious mind, often outside my awareness ……..I hate to be lost in the labyrinth of life and love – hence the need for Ariadne’s thread to save myself..… to give me the best shot at survival in my heroic ambitions – a thread of such strength and length that I could unravel as I walked my maze with the confidence that I will indeed get out after my battle with the Minotaur.
    So dear future girlfriend/wifey, I don’t NEED YOU to wield a sword or to fight in my place. All I need is a thin string of connection to you, your creativity, and the subtle act of hidden support that Ariadne (if you know her story) embodied.
    And if I can’t get that from you….and if am dating you and still feel lost, what then your majesty is the purpose of my relationship with you?
    #support

    • Dee

      July 18, 2016 at 12:46 pm

      Iyke nwa nna, bikonu just kowakene edemede gi a nke oma.

      Daalu.

    • Mama

      July 19, 2016 at 5:58 am

      I don’t even understand your language but I concur??

    • "changing moniker"

      July 18, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      I don’t even understand this deal breaker sef, how i wan take avoid am???
      Bros Iyke pls, abeg, biko, communicate….
      i’m single sha….if you can look beyond the deal breaker of not being able to comprehend what you say…lmao!!!

    • iyke

      July 18, 2016 at 4:43 pm

      @Dee and @ changing Moniker
      Refer you to the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur so as to understand Ariadne’s Thread and a Path Through the Labyrinth…that explains my deal breaker.
      BTW,off to Greece for a few days hols ….Any BN COMING this wkend?

    • californiabawlar

      July 18, 2016 at 7:56 pm

      Bros abeg na who go folo you go Greece after all these abstract grammatical mythology yarns? Hian! Before somebody will come and use me to practice ancient rituals.
      Safe journey!

    • Irene (@Irynxoxo)

      July 18, 2016 at 4:40 pm

      Too much grammar man!!! its not dat serious…

    • iyke

      July 18, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      Body just dey bite you on top of my grammar and your lack of comprehension.
      Ngwanu stay for your lane.

    • MEE

      August 3, 2016 at 8:37 pm

      HUH??

    • MEE

      August 3, 2016 at 8:38 pm

      HUH?

  10. nwa nna

    July 18, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    For me, I cannot dealer with a person that habitually nags or complains.. Sure, there’s room for some complaining, but when right of the bat all someone does is complain about any & everything out of habit I will not want that person in my life period!

  11. Yeyeperry

    July 18, 2016 at 1:03 pm

    I can’t deal with a partner who dresses shabbily to important places.
    I am not much of a dresser but i would never embarrass anyone by visiting their workplace dressed like the maid.
    If love was blind it’s at that point a miracle will happen and it will SEE clearly.

  12. Amy

    July 18, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    LOL Seun, I think I am one of the few people who don’t have an immediate deal breaker. I believe humans are not perfect so I try to help people I am in a relationship with get past things I do not like. However, where I am tried and tried but the person is beyond redemption, then I know that I am not your savior and I cut my losses. eg my Ex. He had very bad table manners when we first met but I helped him correct his eating habits. The first time we had a date, he was talking so loudly and had food flying out of his mouth. I gently told him to take a napkin and clean his mouth and that he shouldn’t talk when he was eating. That was how little by little, I was able to help him have good table manners. My deal breaker with him was when he mistakenly saw the bank alert I received when my fixed deposit was liquidated. Dude wanted to turn me to his ATM. Dont get me wrong, I help my men when they are in need but this one saw N7M in my account and decided he should have at least half of it. He started by asking me to borrow him 100k today, he will pay back 30k then proceed to ask for 50k and pay back 10k. On and on until he colluded with his friend and came up with a bogus business proposal, asking me to lend him N4M and that I would get my money back with 35% interest within 3 months. I took it to one of my friend who went through the proposal with a fine tooth comb and he advised me not to invest in it. I went back to dude and told him I dint think the business was viable, besides I dint have that kind of money. All hell was let loose. He told me he knew I had the money because he had gone through my bank alerts and saw my account balance. He tried everything, pleading, blackmailing and when that dint work, he became downright mean and called me a whore. Told me I got the money from ashawo work. Toh, I did not kukuma answer. I picked up my things and left. That was the end of the relationship but till now, dude goes about telling people that I was a lawyer by day and an aristo by night.

    • FasholasLover

      July 18, 2016 at 1:42 pm

      Haa! Tif man. You are a lucky girl.
      My deal breaker is lack of structure. I hv a bit of OCD. Things have to be tidy, neat, clean and orderly. If You can’t get with the programme, l’m out. And a man should not be borrowing money from me. There is something irky about that. It reduces your husband/BF stock in your portfolio.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:24 pm

      OMGGG………..girrrrl, be thankful o. You dodged a bullet there. Ole oshi…

    • Jamila E

      July 19, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      Shior!!! You dodged a bullet girl!! He is a gold digger by night and day. When boo starts asking for money for one stupid business after another, I’m out.

  13. BadEnglish

    July 18, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    I really don’t fancy dudes who can’t write or speak good English but recently I met a guy who graduated with a 2.1 in a good course from a federal university. He did his masters abroad and got a distinction and has a very good job abroad (even got a best employee award at work)…. but his English is a problem. He always make mistakes whenever we chat or text. His talking is fair enough. I keep thinking how he made it this far with such plenty mistakes when writing. Thing just amazes me and I am really attracted to other things about him asides this English issue. Many people think it doesn’t matter but I really dunno if I can cope I swear. Is it really possible that someone can have all this accolades to his name and still not be fluent in English? Is poor English enough deal breaker not to marry a guy? What do u guys think? I need opinions abeg. Be honest in your replies. No insults please. Thanks and God bless

    • ogeAdiro

      July 18, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Is poor Igbo enough not to marry a guy? Is poor Yoruba enough not to marry a guy? Is poor Hausa enough not to marry a guy? Is poor [insert language] enough not to marry a guy? I was going to get mad at you for your question but I also know a man who refused to marry a woman because the woman couldn’t speak Igbo. And I don’t remember being mad at the him. So, just do you.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      Could it be that he’s just into this current way of writing or speaking? Maybe he does write and speak properly when he’s in school or at work. If I were you, and I like everything else about him, I would have a conversation with him about it and see how it goes.

    • ElessarisElendil

      July 19, 2016 at 6:08 am

      Going through your write-up, I just want to point out that for such a grammar Nazi, you don’t pass the English purity test.

      Errors happen in writing, often our brains move faster than our hands and if like me you lack the patience to go back and edit, your writing may be full of errors. If you want to be all psychological of course, impatience likely points to other character flaws but then again who is perfect. Isn’t marriage meant to be the coming together of two imperfect halves to make one perfect piece?

    • Yumz

      July 21, 2016 at 12:48 am

      Girl!!! This is my dilemma rn. The guy im dating right now is literally the best. He treats me well, respects me and is easily the best I’ve ever dated. But the english! Bruh the english. His spoken english is fair but his written English is very poor. This guy has two degrees, has lived in the US for over 15 years but sounds like he just came from Abeokuta yesterday. Like correct yoruba to the bloody core. Even his way of thinking is traditional yoruba thinking. ‘I can’t eat outside my babe must cook for me’ typa thing. That’s honestly the thing in my way and like you I’ve been wondering if poor English is honestly a good enough deal breaker when everything else seems fine. I try to correct him gently sometimes and I try to get him to read more (he doesn’t like reading) so that way he can learn certain words and basic grammatical construction. I’m trying to look beyond it though but for someone like me whose pet peeve is horrible english, you can imagine how hard it is for me. Sometimes I just wish I could reform his whole tongue lol other times I just accept and look at his other endearing qualities.

  14. Puzzles

    July 18, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Wow, Seun, where have you been? Welcome back. Missed your articles. Let me go and read it now

  15. A

    July 18, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Cheating is my deal breaker. I hate it, it’s destroyed so many lives around me, I can’t stand it. I prayed to God and I believed He answered my prayer with the SO he blessed me with. He ain’t perfect, but at least he also hates cheating- gives me all his passwords, doesn’t go out, works from home etc I don’t know or want to know why people tolerate or trivialize cheating in Nigeria, but me I can’t stand it

    • Oyinlola

      July 18, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      This is so me and my friends say that’s why I’m still single because I keep saying my man has to be faithful. I don’t understand why everyone says cheating should not be a dealbreaker for me. If I can be faithful, my man must be too. The question I ask my male friends is “if I was your wife and I cheated, will you still stay married to me?” Nobody’s got time for a man who’s got double standards about fidelity

  16. Esther Dan

    July 18, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    Hmmm…. Seun, I support you 85% . Some people can be corrected on table manners, eating habits and etc. What matters most is if they decide to take correction or not. African culture and most notably is our 9ja tradition that is deeply rooted in respect to seniors and special people. Imagine Mike Adenuga or Aliko Dangote was the one you went on a date with and he was chewing so loud and smacking his mouth so disgustingly and eating all kinds of foods without remorse for tomorrow, would you walk away? I guess not. You will think of ways to present your issues or your dislikes before or after the wedding. I know of a friend whose husband after doing number 2 will not flush. I know of another friend whose husband snores so loudly like an elephant, she hardly gets a nap at night but gradually everything changed. The both had to say something and things changed.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      Hummm, I actually would walk away because money has never influenced my choice of men. If the man is a Dangote or Otedola I think of that as a bonus. This is just me though. I have to be physically attracted to whom I’m with. So if there’s any habit that could put me off physically, chances are I would pass on that relationship. And also, it wasn’t about the manners per se, it was more about the gluttony. That could be a red flag indicating more unsightly behavior. But then I’m just a “special” child. A guy once kissed me and I started throwing up the moment I could shove him off me. I told my friends his tongue was slithery like a snake’s would probably be. Again, I’m just a special human being. 🙂

    • LemmeRant

      July 18, 2016 at 9:05 pm

      Na so.

  17. Abuja Bored Girl

    July 18, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    @Seun that guy is not only a glutton but a greed. Anyway my deal breakers are;a man who doesn’t know God, a man who doesn’t have a vision for his life. A man who eats anyhow, or doesn’t know how to speak good english or even write it.
    memoirsofanabujaboredgirl.blogspot.com

    • hell no

      July 18, 2016 at 3:19 pm

      Girl am with you on that, a man without vision is a deal breaker for me!

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      Exactly @greed!

  18. Spunky

    July 18, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    I believe most deal breakers can be remedied with time and are sometimes excusable. There’s just no excuse when a potential bae is rocking a smelling wig or hairdo with pride and prestige. How am I suppose to tell her the hair stinks to high heaven?

  19. AceOfSpade

    July 18, 2016 at 2:26 pm

    Those girls that will fight okada man or taxi man over NGN20 or NGN30…you know those types?? Ehn hen I can’t deal abeg! Be gone!

    I was on a date with a girl sometime. I was planning this show for African Magic Yooba and I had to work with one girl. I invited her to lunch and we talked. Maybe she thought I was interested (I must agree she is fine like that tho) so she made some outrageous orders. I didn’t want my story to land on BN or LIB so I just smiled through the 5k order (at TFC). When we were about to leave, she wanted take home things for her friend (I thought that stuff got killed when anyone graduates from Uni). If I was a toaster, now that’s a deal breaker. I can spend a million on my girl or even more…..but if it looks exploiting is where the problem is.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      July 18, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      Lolll @ fighting over 20 naira. And errrr my darling girls, please, please, please, even if you are in Uni, you have to stop that whole take away for my village people behavior. That behavior should have expired by now, shay? Except the guy offers on his own, even then try not to go over board.

  20. Teesha

    July 18, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    My deal breaker is lying and living a fake life. These two I can’t deal with even in friendship. Just be yourself and be honest.

  21. geeee

    July 18, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    Eating with a spoon and it be jamming gian gian gian with your teeth…Chai..such a deal breaker.

    • Tru

      July 19, 2016 at 10:06 am

      ewwwwwww

  22. OA

    July 18, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    @AceofSpade…LOL! Me sef dey wonder oh. We used to do that one in Uni well, well!

    My deal breaker is definitely the “spoken” English thing. If you can’t speak it well, chai, it will make me cringe and will ultimately lead to me being just downright mean. Fortunately, after dating a few guys (that I knew I could never marry), I ended up marrying someone who went to the same high school with me and whose background is very similar to mine so whew! Thank God no issues there. However, at times, my husband still says some things and I look at him like, “hunh?…did you mean so and so?” followed by a chuckle/snigger. He will immediately say it the way it is supposed to be said but always follows it with a “whatever!” which makes me laugh even more. But it’s done in fond jest. This is also someone who despite his health-related profession, has analyzed some court cases better than me even though I am the one in the legal field, so trust me he has corrected me too several times. So, give and take, bitter with the sweet, etc.!

    Don’t like dirty men either, but most men are untidy period! To resolve that issue, I have the master bathroom while he has the guest bathroom. But a few days ago, he sprinkled and left the toilet seat up in the powder room. I was thrown into a fit of rage, but I kuku cleaned it up, gave him attitude for a couple of hours and moved on hereafter! Wetin persin go do?

  23. Yummychickcummummy

    July 18, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    Wow. Lmao! So funny!! Selfishness is a huge turnoff.

  24. Seun Akinlosotu

    Seun Akinlosotu

    July 18, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Thanks BM!

  25. Kemzee

    July 18, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Arrogance in any way is my biggest deal breaker

  26. *Real* Nice Anon

    July 18, 2016 at 4:22 pm

    Everyone is flawed but my biggest deal breaker is unwillingness to learn. Men who take correction as a slight to their “manhood”. Open up your mind to being better. The more you know the better off you are. Men who write in abbreviated English when there’s no limit to written characters that’s a bit daft. People who use their career as a talking point. I mean if you’re over a certain age, it is beyond stupid not to have a career going for you BUT that shouldn’t be what you bring up first thing. There should be more to you than what you do for a living.

  27. Gorgeous

    July 18, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    Mins is definitely eating with your mouth open, selfishness, lack of focus or being unrealistic. You can’t imagine how many Nigerian man are sooo delusional. I don’t know what is going on. As in, they are devoid of facing reality. Someone else is always to blame for their failures, short term view, instant gratification, poor money management. When I met my boo that is even more realistic than me, I bow o. Reason why his other flaws are easily worked through by me. As I know he is not stupid.

    • Oprah

      July 18, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      We are dealbreaker twins!

  28. alwayshappy

    July 18, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    Fantastic topic, here are my deal breakers because its every mallam and their kettle.

    – Any man that finds it difficult to apologize – Na ego/pride goes before a fall tings
    – Any man who is emotionally sick/ lost, does not pay attention : zero physical and emotional awareness and incapable of holding down his wife’s back, front, side, left right be it to aprokos, family members, and bullies or his kids even. – Thou shall not be a waste? why are you in my life if you are not voltron defender of our universe.
    – Any man whose most important relationship isn’t God, nor his pursuit of God of foremost priority to him

    These 3 apply to women too, no partiality – Gurl you fit fine pass mammy water , but who you epp if you can’t help yourself.

    Some things money can’t buy and these 3 above are a few of those things. Be you #billionaire by day or uber driver by night , the content of your character na the loudest soundsystem.

  29. Nammy

    July 18, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    Laziness is a major deal breaker for me, I like a man who is handy, can fix the light bulbs, minor repairs on the gen, fix a leaking sink etc, I dated a guy that hires someone to do every single thing for him, I know he can afford to pay them and they in turn would gladly do it to get paid but at least one should be self reliant at times.

    • DaddysGirl ?

      July 19, 2016 at 2:23 am

      Awwww…this reminds me of my dad. He can fix every goddamn thing in the house. Sometimes, it’s on the extreme. I think it’s very common amongst guys who are engineers though. I had to ask him one day…….daddy how do you do all this things without calling anyone to help out??? ?. He was like…it’s really simple Hun… Chei! My mum is one lucky woman sha. I actually thought being able to fix sth as easy as a light bulb, or hang a tv on the wall or fix a dripping shower or tap etc was normal for every man until I started dating and found out some guys won’t even try or dunno how to and it actually made me think of how lucky I was to have a very handy dad. I pray God blesses me with a husband that’s better than my dad. That would be a bonus. I will be the luckiest and happiest woman alive…?

  30. Ethio

    July 18, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    my deal breakers ARE:
    breathing
    walking with your legs
    calling my number
    wow!, didn’t know speaking and writing good English was such a bonus

  31. Condescending

    July 18, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    Bad grammar is not a deal breaker for me. If you can speak another language fluently and we can hold a conversation with it, you’re confident and have a good sense of humour with it, I’m fine. My pet peeve is what I call “short hand phoneh typing”. Even if you spell incorrectly, let it be in full abeg. I don’t like seeing “buh”. Type in pigin English instead.

    Major deal braker is a condescending man. My list of exes:
    1. Rambo asked me what car brand I liked the most, I told him Honda. He said I don’t know good cars. That I should have said German.
    2. Commando came visiting. I told him my housemates were doctors. He said the house doesn’t look like where doctors live.
    3. Jet li has asked me several times to change my old phone. Any time I wear a new dress, he gives me a once over, to see to see if it’s designer.

    I understand that financial stability is imperative when looking for a mate but I hate a man that makes it obvious. I do have a lil tuck away money and I’m not a miser. My parents were and are still rich but we were brought up in a very very simple environment with only the basic things and I have come appreciate and even enjoy that lifestyle.

  32. El boogie

    July 18, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    don’t be boring men….basically, no romance without humour….

  33. aj

    July 19, 2016 at 4:41 am

    deal breaker for me with men are being disrespectful and talking down to me…. cant stand it and I will make sure I serve it back to you hot! Also, taking me for granted and thinking and acting like you can outsmart me…I know of you and your mess before you even start it.

  34. justme

    July 19, 2016 at 6:01 am

    I can’t stand baby talk in any one older than 2 years let alone a grown ass man. I can’t communicate just how much it irks me. I ran from a potential boo who thought it cute to complain in baby talk when he felt neglected. I couldn’t take it. Just made me cringe. I must state that he didn’t tick other boxes as well.

    • Yeyeperry

      July 19, 2016 at 8:46 am

      Me too!

  35. ElessarisElendil

    July 19, 2016 at 6:16 am

    Personally if you’re the sort to hyperventilate over celebrities, deal breaker for me.

    Can’t accept that I can’t and refuse to learn how to use fork and knife to eat. Sorry anglophiles but it just strikes me as an inefficient way to eat. Who has time to be admiring food in the name of civilisation.

  36. christy luka

    July 19, 2016 at 11:56 am

    guys who womanise,want to follow everything in skirts,guys that have body odour and talk too much,guys who cant provide for me and use the excuse that am a worker and earn my own money.
    is well jare

  37. precious

    July 19, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    lol….some people’s deal breakers!!
    Well,my deal breakers;some one that’s rude to anyone,selfish,broke,dirty,not aware of current affairs and no sense of fashion. And ofcourse,he has to be a christian!

  38. Bukola

    July 19, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    nice one dear,thumbs up

  39. Toyin

    July 30, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    But of course we ain’t perfect, yet there are certain things a partner should measure up to. The deal breaker for me is intelligence, I expect that when my guy opens his mouth it should be something intelligible. Humility is a big turn on, how you carry yourself irrespective of being a billionaire, I can’t stand hunched back people, their ego, pride has shoulder pads…you have to treat people well.

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