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Toby Nwazor: The Subtle Freedom Lie

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It all started as freedom propaganda. The lie was told so subtly that we didn’t notice. To gain popularity, they convinced us that it was all about gender equality. Then they preached to us, saying it was a human rights and child rights agenda. To draw the attention of women, they hid under Women Empowerment Campaigns.

We saw everything they did as part of civilization. Because of this, we applauded them and blindly sang their praises.

We were so blind that we did not notice when they went from equality to role reversal, and from ‘rights’ to ‘wrongs’. They told us it was all a matter of understanding. I mean, if she earns more than he does, why can’t she be the head while he submits?

They told us we had the right to our bodies. They told us that if the guys can do ‘it’ anytime with anybody, so can the girls. They introduced free love, and ‘friends with benefits’, and convinced us that we were just exercising our rights to enjoy our bodies. We agreed. Which youth wouldn’t?

When we complained about STDs, they introduced condoms, and even started sharing it to us free of charge in our secondary schools. They told us that from the age of 16, we had the right to do whatever we wanted to. This made us to start seeing our parents and school teachers as toothless bulldogs as they no longer had the right to discipline us. Talk of sweet freedom!

When we complained about teenage pregnancies, they told our parents to educate us about contraceptives as early as possible. Then they introduced the reformed sex education in our school as a guise to give us more condoms.

Some of us still got pregnant, and we complained yet again. So they decided to legalize abortions. This was in a bid to help us. You see, they really cared about our future, and wanted to ensure that we live a free life.

Abortion made sense to us. So we accepted it. I mean, why bring a child you don’t want or can’t take care of into the world? We felt a bit guilty because it seemed like murder. But they told us not to worry. According to them, what we were doing was merely taking out an unwanted foetus, and not killing a child. Yet again, we accepted it, and got pacified.

They said that we weren’t supposed to be accountable to any deity, religion, our parents or the society. Next, they told us we had the freedom to do what we wanted with our lives, so far as we weren’t hurting other people or trampling on their rights.

Almost immediately, we stopped going to church, and found excuses to skip going to the mosque. We rather chose to play football, hang out, or watch seasonal movies on Fridays and Sundays.

We also decided to experiment with homosexuality. It seemed like fun, and they encouraged us. When we told them that the society frowned against our choice, they legalized it and told us we can get married too.

We decided to go further and experiment with drugs. They frowned against it publicly, but we still had access to it. Moreover, we were minors, and the law enforcement agents couldn’t really punish us.

We looked for role models and they gave us Hollywood stars with multiple divorce stories, musical icons addicted to drugs/alcohol, and sports stars with numerous extra marital affair scandals.

They told us, that those celebrities were successful and free and we should aspire to be like them. Some of us started pumping iron, getting tattoos, and injecting steroids in order to look as manly and as ‘successful’ as our role models.

We started seeing fidelity as a sign of weakness. And just like our ‘role-models’, we started going after everything in skirt.

We equally tore off pictures of our successful and ‘sexy’ looking role models off celebrity magazines, and pasted them on our mirrors. We started dieting like mad so we can lose weight and look like them. We noticed that they hardly wore any clothes, so we followed suit.

When we became bored, they introduced us to their clubs and night parties. They told us to throw caution to the winds and just have fun. Even when some of us got raped, they encouraged us to shut up and keep having fun.

Some of us became addicted to alcohol, but we were told not to worry that it was one way to prove our manhood, so we continued.

At a time we noticed that we had lost our will. We had become their slaves without knowing it. We noticed that we didn’t have any reason to live again, and life was no longer purposeful.

In the bid to look sexy, some of us became victims of anorexia nervosa. Those of us in relationships found it impossible to be faithful. Many started contemplating suicide. Many more had STDs. Some of us experienced series of psychological traumas and mental breakdowns.  A lot more dropped out of school as a result of unwanted pregnancies, drugs, or an abortion that went wrong.

At this point we saw our future get dashed before our faces. We started looking for whom to blame. After a fruitless search, we had to admit that we didn’t even know who ‘they’ were. Then reality dawned on us.

We remembered our fathers telling us that “unlimited liberty is slavery in disguise”. We also remembered when our mothers told us that “freedom without checks and balances is tantamount to advanced bondage”. By then it was too late for us. We had bought ‘their’ freedom lie.

Maybe for you, it is not yet late. Then please don’t be deceived by their lies and evil propaganda. Do not be swayed by their subtle message of freedom. They’re all lies! We can prove it with our failed relationships, drug addictions, unwanted pregnancies, violent tendencies etc.

Beware, and please warn other youths so they won’t end up like us.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Lunamarina

Toby Nwazor is a free lance writer and motivational speaker who believes that life is meant to be lived and not just existed in. He is equally an entrepreneur with a lot of hands-on experience in business start-ups, marketing, and customer service. He passionately writes every Monday and Wednesday on www.mystartupceo.com about helping entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs build successful start-ups

58 Comments

  1. Ross

    December 4, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Such a beautiful piece. WOW….This should be in a pamphlet and passed round in schools.

    • Jasmine

      December 5, 2015 at 12:26 pm

      One of the BEST articles I have ever read!

  2. Chic

    December 4, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Is there a way of saving articles here so u could read them over again when u want to?

    • new bride

      December 4, 2015 at 6:24 pm

      You can bookmark the page ans save on your phone or laptop

    • Jaymz

      December 8, 2015 at 7:12 pm

      Download the Pocket App, or get the extension for your browser.

  3. Ufedo

    December 4, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Wow!!! So on point!

  4. dee

    December 4, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    love this, so so true!

  5. Adeola

    December 4, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    This is really nice and well thought of unlimited freedom life as we now know it with trailing emptiness.

  6. Zandyzay

    December 4, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Wow! Just so wow!!! Maker truth yet so subtle and DEEP! God bless you bro

  7. True talk

    December 4, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    This is so true! Best thing you’ve written Toby+

  8. Frances

    December 4, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    I have never commented on BN before although I am an ardent reader. This is an amazingly inspiring piece… I am proud to see the wisdom that we as Nigerians posses. BEAUTIFUL. Thanks Toby Nwazor.

  9. Lou

    December 4, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Beautiful piece, this is a good article for every parent like myself to read and share

  10. tamy

    December 4, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    Wow,dis is beautiful and straight to the point…would try and share with someone. You’re a great writer Toby

  11. Puzzles

    December 4, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Toby Nwazor! You’re getting close to replacing Isio as my favourite BN Writer. This is the BEST I have read from you.

    PREACH!!!!! People are not FREE but SLAVES to the world’s desires.

    In other news…
    “Freedom is coming tomorrow” – who remembers the song from Sarafina? I do. *humming away*

  12. Hm

    December 4, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Is this a way to debase gender equality? Very well written but you should not debase an entire movement aiming at emancipation because SOME people use it perversely. Slightly hurtful

  13. Hm

    December 4, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    Sorry I read it again. Still sad you used gender equality but I understand now. My sincere apologies (You could have used something else shaaaaa) lol

  14. Mz Titilitious

    December 4, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    nice!

  15. molarah

    December 4, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Mwah! Over-deepness is disturbing this post. But it’s RIGHT on the mark.

    Let’s hope that it makes us think – really think! – about the choices we are making and the future we are building for the next generation.

  16. bruno

    December 4, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    “experiment with homosexuality”

    pls who encouraged u or who is encouraging u to experiment with homosexuality? just mention the name of the person who encouraged u to experiment with homosexuality.

    pls watch the nonsense u say. I wrote a very long comment putting u on blast but I just decided to shorten it. take ur time oh. u dont like gay people, fine but pls stop spreading lies about them

    • Pretty girl

      December 5, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      Burno u have come back.where have u been all these while I miss u small.

  17. HasInEh

    December 4, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    You get am jare!!! The tin wey pain me na the way some people go call you “demon” if you no follow them do all this freedom thing. They just shove it down your throat like…choke or die.
    And too…. The way the other side just take am personal, like….. Y’all are going to the hottest part of hell!!!
    Wetin man go do nah??

  18. Aisha

    December 4, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Could any thing be more true than this written piece?
    I shall print it out and keep it safely to read out to my daughters when they are old enough to appreciate the message.
    Simply beautiful!

  19. Rose

    December 4, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    Just one word for this piece…. BEAUTIFUL

  20. Evab

    December 4, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    I still don’t understand for the life of me why people are overly concerned with what other people do with their lives.
    As an adult, no constitution or law should govern your actions, what should is the content of your heart what YOU believe to be moral and expedient.
    Murder is illegal in every country in the world, yet people are murdered every single day… who ever wants to do evil will, regardless of the laws governments put in place.
    If you wanna make a difference writer, focus more on helping people make the right decisions, regardless of what freedoms exist. That way no matter what laws exist or don’t exist, we can be comforted the world will be a better place because people will act out of their hearts, not following what lows exist.
    Somehow implying that freedom is a bad thing from our article is overly petulant. After all even God that made us gave us free will, BUT, he still expects us to follow the right path.

  21. Cindy

    December 4, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    I can’t get over the undercut tone in which you are pained about gender equality. Your first few lines spoilt your rather impressive write up. I have always been an advocate of freedom without selfishness. If your liberty is selfish, then I’m not taking you seriously. But guy honestly, who is asking for role reversal? You just can’t eat your cake and have it. Deal with it.

  22. bruno

    December 4, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    I was wondering oh. I’m so glad people have started seeing something wrong with this article.i thought it was only me. this piece is problematic and to think majority of the commenters are applauding the writer, this is troubling to me.

    one thing about nigerians is they get excited when someone uses big grammer or writes eloquently. They easily get hypnotised by the writers words that they forget the message and miss valuable points. majority of u are applauding the writer but do u really know what he is saying indirectly.

    • larz

      December 4, 2015 at 9:05 pm

      I think the few people that wanted to comment against it are probably worried that they would be seem as promiscuous. I read a lot of condemnation in this message. Condemnation for the modern society, condemnation for those who dare to have different values / opinion than the writer. Everytime I read about ppl that hate the modern society so much, I am tempted to ask them to build a time machine and go back a few generations where they really belong

    • nikky

      December 4, 2015 at 10:33 pm

      Lol @ building a time machine. But seriously if the writer of this article goes back in time history will not be kind to him. The black man’s freedom was stolen during the transatlantic slave trade. I don’t think Africa has fully recovered. The burden we bear as black people (people of African decent) is to defend whatever individual freedom we have, and not to give it up because it does not live up to another person’s moral code.

    • uini

      December 6, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      lmaaoooo, and here you talk about equality but you’re quick to stereotype Nigerians as being excited about big grammar,that is very degrading and insulting. Nigerians are sufficienlty educated enough to understand what he’s saying. If u see a problem with holding on to values and morals,you could have stopped reading. don’t come on here and start spouting whitewashed information. Isn’t it the west that encouraged homosexuality? u want to claim it’s a freee world and yet someone presents an opinion and its to come here with unconstructive criticism. lmaoo

  23. Oluwaseun

    December 4, 2015 at 10:42 pm

    Total crap. The article is ridiculous and misleading. The writer tends to take away the rights of everyone and his views of the world is one dimensional, selfish and regressive..

  24. Nahum

    December 4, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    This article is stupid. I know a lot of people are praising it, but it is a completely stupid article. So, you feel that the rights of the oppressed minority should be ignored to make the majority feel good about their “Christian values “. No one is forcing feminism, homosexual is mor even atheism on you, but the beautiful thing about freedom is exactly what the word denotes. It gives everyone in society the right to CHOOSE their path. Why should women be enslaved in abusive marriages just so that society can judge them as godly, submissive wives? Why should homosexuals trap themselves in loveless marriages just so that society does not know their “deep, dark secrets”? Why should people who have chosen not to believe in God be silenced and made to live in fear in order to please the majority? Truly, as long as your freedom does no harm to another e.g paedophiles, then society needs to learn to shut its big, fat trap and allow people to live their lives to please THEMSELVES!!!

    • Fashionista

      December 5, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Well said. Thats the one thing he completely alienated in the article, the idea of CHOICE.

  25. Yemisi

    December 5, 2015 at 2:29 am

    I have never seen so much bull- written and disguised as a sensible piece. This is just utter rubbish.

  26. Curious

    December 5, 2015 at 4:23 am

    If this article ain’t the stupidest piece of – I ever read, I don’t know what is. Trust Nigerians to come and applaud it as awon monitoring spirits that they are. Why are Nigerians always so worried and invested in other people’s lives? Why can’t you just face front? Yes you don’t like abortion, you don’t like teen pregnancy, then make sure you don’t abort or get pregnant simples! Stop policing other people. You want to go to church fine go! Leave those wey no wan go ohhhhh! It’s absolutely RIDICULOUS the way y’all spend valuable time over someone else’s palava. I can’t say this enough, it’s only when it’s time to get sanctimonious and preachy that Nigerians dey remember to be their brother’s keeper; spreading lies and untruths, but if to sey someone no get money to pay rent and they need assistance, na that time you go know sey Nigerians can mind their business true true. They will run enter house, lock door and refuse to answer their phone; e go shock you! The one that gets my goat so much is the penchant for Nigerians to resort to religious scare tactics. Religion, religion, religion yet the country is in shambles; talk about irony! Abeg miss us sensible folks with that drivel jor!

    Please Mr Writer, stop talking nonsense biko oh! If you don’t like freedom, please lock yourself in the house and stay there. While you are at it, please stop writing crap.

  27. Curious

    December 5, 2015 at 6:06 am

    BN, why would y’all even post such a useless article? Article don finish for market? Y’all can totally do better.

  28. Missappleberry

    December 5, 2015 at 10:20 am

    This article plus comments reminds of one saying I’m going to put in my own words. “The first lawyer to speak in court for his client always thinks he has killed it all, in fact he thinks he has won the case, until the second lawyer speaks. Lol. Dunno where to go with this. Everything seemed to be brilliant with this article until I read the comments of those against it. Nice try though Toby

  29. Natu

    December 5, 2015 at 11:03 am

    @Nahum and co thanks for your brilliant comments. I am glad to see that we have some few brilliant folks on this page.

  30. Mz_Daniels

    December 5, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    I’m undecided on this. On one hand I agree that this supposed YOLO ideology has messed us up and on the other hand I believe in people’s right to choose and I’m pro abortions and sexual liberation especially for women.
    I guess the key is to know who you are and be at peace with live and also live and let live

  31. Daisy

    December 5, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Nice one! Intact,let me re-read! Love it!

  32. FROSH

    December 5, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    The irony of this article is that the people in those so called religious and restricted areas commit the worst, most heinous, most atrocious of crimes, so you definitely score one point for hypocrisy. whats your excuse for those folks huh? your bible says i put before you life and death so CHOOSE life. what happened to the RIGHT of man to choose his path that even your bible gives huh? you are not the creator and its not left for you to be the judge.lastly how dare you come down on gender equality, its a crying shame to see people give props to this magnanimity of foolery displayed here. if you don’t like what you see around you focus on YOUR own life because that is the only one you are here on earth to live. in the church mosque and any religious society, young people still get pregnant, still have sex, married people still cheat, your pastors push drugs, so what are you talking about man???. if you want to pass on on a message please and please find a less judgmental less hypocritical way of passing it, thank you! Gaddem!!

  33. Tunmi

    December 5, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    It is well written and it is such an insult to people and to the concept of choice.

  34. ENNY

    December 5, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    But no one told you ANYTHING freak!! Why go to church when what you’d rather be doing is chilling at home. Nobody forced anyone to do or be like anyone they don’t really wanna be like. Your morals your life, your infidelity your business!! And they did tell you to report rape and let justice take its course!! I hate this piece!! Smh

  35. frances

    December 5, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    Wisdom is for the simple. To all detractors, all this article does is encourage you to think deeply before you follow the crowd…….

  36. oyo

    December 6, 2015 at 3:20 am

    bRUNO can you just leave Bellanaija alone and mind lindaikeji. Your supporters are not here Toby Nwazor mwuah. more grace!

  37. Chukky

    December 6, 2015 at 4:08 am

    Ah at first i thought i was in a linda ikeji comment section until the last comments came in. i know there say in literature always try and be constructive in your criticism but my God What an incredibly stupid article. And reasoning that seeks to take humanity back 100 years. thought you would have gone after modern medicine next… ‘They told us twins and albinos were normal children and we believed them’…..mumu.

    there are make or break moments in ones career…this here is one of them. if i was your editor and you turned in this article…i would not only reject it i would immediately sack you. And no it wouldnt be coming after your freedom like you would come after the worlds freedoms…its just…go be stupid somewhere else.

  38. jane(the real jane)

    December 6, 2015 at 8:09 am

    The piece has its good and bad sides. I was very disgusted with the oppresive lines towards females. However, the message I see passed across is thaat Africans shld hold dia values tight. We live in a world whr we seem to be ashamed of some of our core values(respect,parenting) and want to trade it in for the western culture of (do as you like). The writer is trying to say, do as you like doesn’t always bring freedom at the end, instead it brings bondage. We can see that happening with the multiple shootings in the US. So the piece isn’t perfect but one message is clear! Africans don’t lose your heritage(the remnants left after slavetrade and colonization, because 90percent has bn lost already during this dark tym in our history).

  39. Lole Lewis

    December 6, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Lmao is this a joke?

  40. miss B

    December 6, 2015 at 9:59 am

    It might be offending to some but I think the article is just asking us to stop or pause n think about what the modern society is offering.

  41. F

    December 6, 2015 at 10:15 am

    What a load of crap

  42. Ife

    December 6, 2015 at 10:57 am

    I have never in my life left a comment on bellanaija but this deserves one. This is the most well written bullshit I’ve ever seen. It sounds like a black man mentality blaming white people for all that went wrong with his world. Also what’s your issue with equality and women’s right? This article is written from a misogynistic point of view. It reeks of entitlement of why am I not allowed to control a woman, why is she given a choice with her body. I am not saying there’s nothing wrong with our society but pls let us all be accountable for our choices. No one force anyone to make their choices, you had options and decided on going for the one that works for you.
    PS: this people that you claimed that tells you to keep quiet about rape are the ones that hv rape kit and so much Support for ppl that are affected. Blame your community that is silent about rape and stigmatised them.

  43. beautiful

    December 7, 2015 at 10:21 am

    this is really beautiful

  44. onyinye

    December 7, 2015 at 11:20 am

    sorry to digress, but the guy in the pic is doing things to my insides…..those eyes 😀

    • Swizzle

      December 7, 2015 at 3:45 pm

      Onyinye na ekwu ebe o si di ya mkpa lmao! I no blame u jare

  45. ardnas

    December 8, 2015 at 12:32 am

    but we can all say our mind without necessarily using vulgar terms @ commenters

  46. elsa

    December 8, 2015 at 7:59 am

    This is deep. One of the best things I’ve ever read in Bellanaija. Please don’t stop writing stuff like this, and of course people are bound to agree or disagree but isn’t that the whole point?

  47. X

    December 9, 2015 at 5:06 am

    ????this is pretty much a well written piece of crap. #FakeDeep smh

  48. Lily

    December 14, 2015 at 7:04 am

    Let’s call a spade what it is
    The writer is right except at the beginning part where he messed up pretty bad about gender equality
    He’s not a woman so he won’t understand the fight for gender equality, he hasn’t been looked down on just cos he’s a woman, that’s why he trivalized the movement.

  49. Jachike Chibueze

    March 16, 2017 at 6:39 am

    I’ve read the article and the ensuing comments. As a result, I have been so inspired that what I have to say cannot be exhaustively addressed in a comment. Better to just write an article (or articles) and hopefully initiate intelligent discuss without any word bashing.

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