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Today’s Man with Toba Aboyeji: Who Is Teaching Our Boys to Become Good Men?

Toba Aboyeji

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OfficeEveryday, especially with the rise of social media, the menfolk are bashed and branded “evil”. We often make generalisations about the whole “specie” based on isolated experiences.

Recently, a Nollywood actress wrote that “all men cheat”. My intention is not to write a rejoinder to the referenced article, neither is it an attempt to repudiate the assertion. However, in my moment of solitude, I asked if truly something is wrong with us as men.

Before making my case, please permit me to share three independent events that will help connect the dots with you.

Event 1
Recently, at a party, I was having a conversation with a group of childhood girlfriends. One of them, Omolara, was deeply concerned about the posture her nine-year-old son is beginning to assume in life. According to her, he is becoming too “SWEET” for a man, (Sweetness in her dictionary is a lovey-dovey, soft, simple and good man). She was actually seeking my opinion on how to help him ‘toughen up’. As I struggled to make sense of her request, I asked why she wanted to alter the poor boy’s personality and to my utmost bewilderment, Bidemi, Shewa and Zainab, all other three ladies sitting with us attacked me with an intense “Jezebelic” venom. I left the party wondering to myself if I was some sort of a novice, probably naïve or worse still, archaic in my thinking.

Event 2
A few months ago, I got a phone call from a very dear friend. She asked if I could recommend the service of a good lawyer for her. Since she worked in my former constituency (i.e. the Nigerian banking industry), I erroneously assumed that she was about to resign her job to register and start a new business, Alas, my very good-natured, homely gentle and caring Bolanle wants to get a divorce. The reason: Bros has been cheating on her with two of his ex-es and a new kid on the block in his office.

Disturbed at the distraught sound of her voice, we agreed to meet up at a nearby restaurant on my invitation. As she walked towards me, the pain from her countenance would best be described as the percussion to the symphony of a shattered heart; in one word: BROKEN.
I watched as she broke down in tears whilst she narrated her experience. She had led a chaste and responsible life as a single chic and had been a faithful and dutiful wife. Her world was tearing apart not only because she caught Le-boo red-handed, but, because he rubbed his affairs in her face and was too prideful to show any form of remorse.
Secondly, because NOBODY was in support of her divorce. Everyone, including her darling mum and numero uno confidante, encouraged her to her stay on in the marriage and their unanimous reason is that, all over the world and particularly in Africa, philandering is in the DNA of men.

As I listened to the societal justification for her to remain in the marriage, I realised that, somehow in our social construct, we may have bought into an unconscious “conspiracy theory” that has no empirical, cognitive, scriptural, or moral validation.

Event 3
The first time I saw Iyanya’s ‘Oreo’ music video, (no disrespect to the talented dude) my first instinct was fear for the ‘boy child’. I reckoned that excessive exposure to those sort of videos in his formative years can catalyse his inclination towards a ‘vulgar’ future expressed in poor character traits such as objectifying women, multiple dating, infidelity, lack of respect for women, cheating, polygamy et al. You can then imagine the emotion I felt when I walked into a friend’s house as the video was playing on one of the music channels on DSTV and right before Daddy and Mummy, was their six-year-old son watching and singing along without parental check.

Here’s my pain:
In most cases, all through her life, the girl child was trained to be contrite, to be meek, to cook, to serve the king as a queen, she was generally prepared for life. The question is, who prepared the boy child for life? Who bothered to help him discover his theme and guide him on how to navigate his way through the tides of life? Who spent time to teach him how to care for a pregnant wife? Who counselled him on how to be a gentleman?

As a teenager, I recall listening to a conversation about the girl child losing her innocence. For the girl child it is a taboo, but in most cases, for the boy child it is acceptable. I have seen where an African mother defended her boy child in a case of fornication gone wrong, but the girl child was stigmatized for the same “crime”.
In some homes, the boy child finished eating his meals and the Mother ensured that the girl child packed up his plate and washed them. It was forbidden for him to do the dishes because he was either the only son, the last boy or the first boy (as some Yoruba mothers will say, “Baba yin ni”).

All his life, the boy child has been told that he is the champion and that it is a sign of weakness to be vulnerable. In some parts of Africa, he is the preferred gender, the one to carry on the family name (‘o ma se o’). There is nothing wrong with building up a child’s self-esteem but there must be a balanced approach to it, the sad effect of these alpha-male doctrines and masculine philosophies is that it messes up the child’s belief system and often times he loses the power of believing right. (The Bible says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word).

The world tells the boy child that he is the VICTOR whereas he is actually the VICTIM.
He is the victim of a society that lied to him that he is superior to the girl child (that is probably why some men may never be able to handle a super successful, upwardly- mobile woman).
He is the victim of a system that deceived him; that it is a sign of weakness for a man to cry.
He is the victim of a system that gave him a false sense of dominance over his female counterpart.
He is the victim of a system where his own mother concurred to the sinister doctrine that polygamist tendencies is an innate trait of the masculine gender.
He is the victim of a system that had no strict boundaries for his social conduct and contriteness whereas the girl was prepared for life and marriage.
He is the victim of our cultural flaws and idiosyncrasies.
He is the victim of a faulty foundation of a failed society.

Here’s how I see it:
It is our responsibility to show him (the boy child) the masterplan of his creator.
To be strong at heart yet not afraid to admit his weaknesses and cry if need be
To be a leader yet with the humility to be a servant and have control over himself
To be courageous yet not afraid to open to his errors in the days of adversity
To be strong yet meek
To be swift yet patient
To be sweet yet wise
To be kind yet firm
To be wise, prudent, caring and focused
To be honourable in the place of chastity
To build the capacity to commit to his words and not renege on his promise of love
To respect the WOMAN, her GOD, her will and her body
To demonize feminine abuse and revere her emotions, her spirit and her essence
To own his story, his will, his calling, his purpose, his family and his life
A man who will treat all women with dignity and not exploit her vulnerabilities even when the latter so easily give in.

Let’s help develop a breed of perfect gentlemen
Let’s help the boys grow to become Men after God’s heart!

To young mothers with growing boys, teach them how to handle the needs of a woman from a woman’s perspective, it is obvious that men don’t get it as much……(Family Customer Service 101)

We may not be able to change the global stock of men, but in our little corner, with our sons, our nephews, our cousins, our protégées, our godsons, our neighbour’s sons. We can build ONE man that will affect a nation.
A sage once told me: it is easier to build up growing children than to repair broken adults.

Photo Credit: Foto.com.ng

57 Comments

  1. Phoebe

    May 6, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    “but in our little corner, with our sons, our nephews, our cousins, our protégées, our godsons, our neighbour’s sons. We can build ONE man that will affect a nation” – This sums it up nicely. Thank You Toba!!
    I sincerely wish this article could reach the ends of Africa and the World.

  2. Anonymous

    May 6, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Kudos Toba, well written article.. This is definitely a breath of fresh air

  3. Mr. Egghead

    May 6, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    | “In some homes, the boy child finished eating his meals and the Mother ensured that the girl child packed up his plate and washed them.”

    Everybody has roles in a responsible family. If it is the role of the girl-child to wash plates, let her wash plates. Nobody calls her when it is time to pound cassava, cut firewood or change the car-tire.

    | “According to her, he is becoming too “SWEET” for a man, (Sweetness in her dictionary is a lovey-dovey, soft, simple and good man).

    Men and Women symbolise different things in a family. They must radiate different characteristics to give a child the proper balance. Men: strength; Women: care. Which child will thrive in a family where both father and mother are soft, sweet and lovey-dovey? Who will be there to thunder at the boy-child when he goes out of line?
    Say what you like, but men have to be tough.

    • Laila

      May 6, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Cleaning up after yourself is not a sign of weakness – you Egghead!!!

    • Bleed Blue

      May 6, 2016 at 3:25 pm

      @Mr Egghead

      Newsflash! All the things you listed, aside from tyre changing (because we always had a driver) were my sole responsibility.

      My mum felt she had to groom me to be a good wife and daughter-in-law from when I hit age 6. If I had a penny for every time I heard:
      “So is this how you want to behave in your husband’s house?”…sigh…

      I would cook, clean (including cleaning up after my brothers), wash, sweep (who dash me vacuum cleaner), fetch water, pound yam, lift heavy things like gas cylinders or whatever really, open the gate when they honk the horn, shut the garage when it’s bed time, and all of these while my brothers would be in and out of Club 2000 loaning movies and watching them…

      My brothers are married now. They don’t live in Nigeria so domestic help is scarce and expensive. They expect their wives to do EVERYTHING for them and the kids, because EVERYTHING domestic is the job of a female. They know no other way.

      The wives are not happy. I feel their pain. My mum realizes she made a HUGE mistake. But it’s too late Ma’.

      I have sons who are keen on football, swimming, martial arts, video games…the “cool” things most boys like to do.
      But in the middle of these activities, they’ve been made to understand why they have to behave respectfully and take part in domestic chores…because being considerate is cool too.

    • Nnenna

      May 6, 2016 at 3:18 pm

      Sir, I’m an only girl… Two older brothers.. I pound yam and cassava(akpu). My dad taught me to change a car tyre. My older brothers clean the house, go to market and cook whether I’m there or not. I fetch water even if they’re around. My mother raised us equally. Clearing and washing plates was not and is still not seen as a girl’s job in my famiky.; just as pounding yam, cutting firewood or changing a car tyre is not seen as a man’s job.
      We should learn to raise our kids right. Some things are not gender based.

    • Allergic to Iberibe

      May 6, 2016 at 4:59 pm

      Here you go again with your sexist bullshit. The problem here isn’t washing the plate, it’s the fact that she has to pack it up for him.

      1
    • Samantha

      May 7, 2016 at 1:11 pm

      Nd bin sweet nd nice isnt a sign of weekness @egghead.

    • Joy

      May 13, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      Uhm..Mr. Egghead u sd “Nobody calls her when its time to pound cassava” Well women POUND cassava & Yam; cut firewood? I cut & I’ve seen many women cut firewood; change car tyre? My dad prefers me washing his car cos I do it better than my brodas. And u can be a sweet good man yet firm or “tough”. Pls try to get d point d writer is making and uhm..ur name kinda complement ur statement!

    • Ikhide

      May 14, 2016 at 8:45 am

      I think the point of this article is that he can be both strong and caring. Those are not mutually exclusive traits.

    • Yemi

      May 15, 2016 at 12:43 am

      Mr Egghead,

      My brother and I had the same responsibility while growing up. We both pounded yam, washed plates and our parents’s cars. No particular role in the house is meant for a particular gender. A girl packing plates after meals is very wrong, she can do that if she wishes and not to be part of her responsibility even if she is to wash up the dishes. Let’s all make families heaven on earth. I have a son and I would want his wife to be happy she married the right man and I know you wouldn’t mind too.

    • Ade

      September 23, 2016 at 5:13 pm

      I guess you missed the word ‘firm’………….. Obviously you did…. Just so you know some women are so tough that they can set a child straight so if despite (according to you programmed for care)can do such, I don’t see why a man won’t do better even after being trained up to be compassionate……

  4. Draken

    May 6, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Thank you so much for this article! I had a conversation with my sister the other day where I informed her that it might be too late to change hubby’s behavior but her 4 year old son is still mouldable. I always tell mothers of sons to remember that someday, he will be somebody’s husband so proper values need to be instilled.
    However, my only gripe with the article is that it put the burden squarely on the mother. What responsibility does a modern Dad have towards raising his son the right way? Or have we totally written off this generation of men, lol. Anyway, thanks for the sober self reflection on behalf of your “specie”. Your insight should be commended and emulated.

  5. Babym

    May 6, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Very very lovely and on point. I completely agree with u. However I will just like to add that fathers need to take an active role in raising their sons right. ( who better to learn from right) Most articles seem to allude that it’s the mothers job alone.

    • Draken

      May 6, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      @Babym, Looks like we had the exact thoughts at the same time…. Hmmm…

    • Bleed Blue

      May 6, 2016 at 3:03 pm

      @Draken and @Babym
      I think Toba appreciates that the majority of this current generation of fathers may still be holding onto the “alpha male” syndrome and therefore won’t be of much use in the molding a male child to become a “good man”.

      We mothers are the one who have felt the pinch from our nuclear to conjugal families and with general social interaction at work and at play. So he may feel we know better and should use what we know to instill better standards in our young boys.

      This is the way I imagine Toba’s thought process….I may be wrong.

      1
  6. Queen

    May 6, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    Nice article Toba. A must read for all mothers. Especially African mothers. We need to address these issues from the cradle.

  7. Tunmi

    May 6, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    “the girl child was trained to be contrite, to be meek, to cook, to serve the king as a queen, she was generally prepared for life” ??????????????????

  8. Joyce

    May 6, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    insightful

  9. Halima Tanko

    May 6, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    Very deep; this does not happen in all cases but a lot of guys bottle stuff up because they have been told by parents, uncles, aunties and even the odd ‘iya ile okan’ friend to ‘shut up’ when they cry and ‘common behave like a big boy’; meanwhile he is hurting and just wants to be held and told that everything will be alright. Everyone needs an outlet and this is why I think a lot of men, or even women for that matter, remain friends/in relationships with people that they can be vulnerable with and still be respected and not judged. Well done Toba, love it.

  10. Allergic to Iberibe

    May 6, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Here you go again with your sexist bullshit. The problem here isn’t washing the plate, it’s the fact that she has to pack it up for him.

  11. Emmanuel

    May 6, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    I agree 100%. I recently asked women why they are afraid of raising their sons to be kind and loving (especially to women)?

    It maybe the difficult for today’s fathers to raise their sons right (in relation to women) because they were wrongly raised but its the women that are hurting. How can a woman who was cheated on tell her daughter in-law to be patient with her cheating son?

  12. BlackBoy

    May 6, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    It is not a hopeless case, we can do it, although it’s not going to be easy. Alot of people, like Mr. Egghead, were told being a sweet/soft/responsible man is a sign of weakness; many parents don’t even have the right values, wrong is right to them, they can only give what they have, so alot of men have been poorly raised. Did you say neighbour’s sons? I’m sure neighbour is as defined in the Bible – anyone I can help – because I don’t even know the full names of my neighbours. We no longer live in a community, we have either deliberately isolated or have been forced by insecurity to isolate ourselves, and really, it takes a community/village to raise a child. However, that a boy is poorly raised is not a justification for remaining poorly raised; that a man grew up seeing his father beat/cheat on/maltreat women does not justify being irresponsible. Men must begin to unlearn the trash we were taught and relearn the good qualities of real men. God bless you Toba.

    • Mr. Egghead

      May 6, 2016 at 7:28 pm

      Please read my post again and tell me where I said that being a responsible man is a sign of weakness.You contaminated my post to prove your point.

  13. Mrs Oke

    May 6, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    My darling Toba you have echoed my exact thoughts… This is yet another reminder that I have a lot of work to do in ensuring my son grows up a responsible man…

  14. Yomi Nikoro

    May 6, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    We should rise to the task and raise real men out of our boys. Very well said Toba

  15. Chi

    May 6, 2016 at 4:38 pm

    Toba, you’ve echoed my thoughts for the past months. I think our parents made a mistake not raisin our sons, nephews, uncles, brothers, husbands etc. The way I see men, they are the victims not victors. They are becoming more and more incompetent to handle normal things of life because no one taught them how to be a living being. Most of them can’t even think for themselves. They follow what others say and do.

  16. miini

    May 6, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Lovely article Toba. My heart beats for this issue. It really saddens me to see d depth of the nonsense our men have bought into from a society so messed up it can’t even see that something aint right. I’m currently in d process of ‘defriending’ my friend coz he told me my ‘feminist’ approach was going to make me end up like Tiwa, and why? Coz I told him that the summary of a woman’s life aint a man. It’s so sad and painful how shallow the men of these generation are, just coz society has told them as long as u are macho, being shallow is cool. I weep.

    Yes, iv given up on d men of this generation coz I believe this cancer has eaten so deep into our societal fibre, so I believe it is left to us women to raise the next generation of deep and responsible men who do not take pride in knowing nothing abt life. I believe it is left to us to raise our sons right, to squash this phony idea of gender roles that breeds lazy and thoughtless men, to teach our sons to be kind, considerate and thoughtful; to respect women, to care for their sisters and to look forward to loving their wives the way they ought to.

    Thumbs up to all the men who have unlearned the wrong and imbibed the right. Blackboy, u offer a ray of hope.

  17. Tunji Adedayo

    May 6, 2016 at 8:25 pm

    Again, another good write up, nice 1 Toba.

  18. Vict

    May 6, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    May God help us to raise our sons well.My mother-in-law did a very bad job with her sons.They were trained to believe they are kings so they never help their wives,they also learnt from their father that cheating on their wives is ok.Good looking guys(from a humble background o) but very poor home training.In my heart,I send curses down to their parents sometimes for raising such monsters.

  19. coniby

    May 7, 2016 at 4:34 am

    I read this article with Joy in my Spirit,alas there is a remnant. When women tell men the truth,they are seen as too heady..next thing you hear can this one stay in husband’s house?
    But the rare truth coming from a Man…Waoh I am impressed, I had to go look for you on facebook and send a friend request.
    The challenge remains getting men to read this

  20. Tru

    May 7, 2016 at 8:55 am

    Thank you so, so much for this article. I truly pray that many, men and women alike, will come round to this type of thinking. Bless you Toba

  21. Jemimah

    May 7, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    This is profound! insightful

  22. Martha

    May 7, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    A million hugs Toba! These have been my thoughts for a long time. Yes! This is the beginning of a revival in the life of today’s young male adult. It starts now…

  23. Pauline 'Lina' Ife

    May 7, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    @Yormi Nikoro, you have summarised it all. ‘we should rise to the task and raise real men outta our little boys ‘. The ‘hard house chores are not meant for the girls. Let’s raise our children alike in the proper way.

  24. Kayode

    May 7, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    Great write up. I am more concerned about event 1. That’s a typical case of a woman trying to raise a boy to be a man. Only a man can raise another man. Single mothers are doing their best but they can only raise a boy to be mushy mushy most of the time. Mothers should realize this and get that manly strength that only a man can give by every means possible.
    I trust you can do this for your friends son!

  25. Toba Odu

    May 7, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    “As a teenager, I recall listening to a conversation about the girl child losing her innocence. For the girl child it is a taboo, but in most cases, for the boy child it is acceptable. I have seen where an African mother defended her boy child in a case of fornication gone wrong, but the girl child was stigmatized for the same “crime”.”

    Toba nailed it again. I officially welcome myself to Bella Naija. I will visit this site more often.

  26. Abimbola Ayanda

    May 7, 2016 at 7:19 pm

    Mr. Toba, I want to first thank God for your life and all that makes you you. This article is long overdue. What you have put together here, I trust was a lot of effort to compress. Unless we all consciously make effort to help our boys grow into the kind of man we, the society and God especially will be proud of, we have a a very long way to go. We will be creating nightmares of men by simply conforming to trend and what the social media adjudged as acceptable. When a boy grows into a menace under our noses, the whole world suffers.
    We have a responsibility to model our boys to become men of positive impacts at all levels.

  27. ejipet

    May 7, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    I know you will always be who you are today. Just remembering those days when u cast news in jss class while we will all keep quiet and listen

  28. Yes Boss

    May 7, 2016 at 10:13 pm

    Lets not mix certain things up. Lets go to the beginning to see the intention of the creator as it is said, when purpose is not known abuse is inevitable. When God created the man, he createf him from dust. (Rough matter) but he created the woman from a rib. A fine and smooth bone. When he chased them from d garden, he told d man to till and d woman to tend. Now, in proverbs it says: children are arrows in the hands of their fathers. The question begs: where are the fathers? The responsible ones. The ones who are not only concerned about raising up sons but also concerned about bequeathing to their sons a nation with legacy. The job of tending to children is d mothers thats why a child falls and runs to d mother but when the child is in a situation, the child goes to the father(in an ideal family setting) The job of tilling the children into who God designed them to be is the fathers. So no matter how perverse the world gets, we fathers must stand up to our God given assignment in not just building our children in purpose and direction but being a model to them that they see and say it is possible because they have a father who doesnt only lead them by whipping and abusing but leads in example, love and correction in love which might also include to chastise but the underlying factor being in love. And trust me, they see it if it is in love or otherwise. So i ask: where are the fathers? The responsible ones. And its not too late for you to begin to cultivate being a responsible father for your children will also see your effort, love you for it and in return, work on themselves.

  29. Tee

    May 7, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    This write up is perfect. You hit the nail on the head. Some men should be taught how to be responsible.

  30. chika nwakanma

    May 8, 2016 at 6:44 am

    Toba has some salient points, but I still maintain that a man has to be tough. Not to his woman though, but in his approach to life. The easiest way to scatter a family is to take out the man. Such pivotal roles are not meant for sissies. Its like saying a general or king or leader should always be soft. It can’t happen. Man by nature is a protector, how can one be in such role and be sweet? There has to be a balance. I don’t understand this notion of minute having to do domestic duties (not that it’s bad), but he is labelled irresponsible if he can’t provide for his family, something that can’t be said of a woman. Everybody has his role in the family.

  31. juliet samuel

    May 8, 2016 at 8:34 am

    I really love this, u dnt hav to knw your neighbor’s name to instore good values in their children, by right when u see a child doing the wrong thing u most correct that child, by so doing u hav assisted the parent. am a woman i change tyre and fix my generator wen it’s a minor case so we all need to learn how to help in the upbringing of our sons we should mk them understand that its ok to assisting their wives

  32. Sarah

    May 8, 2016 at 8:49 am

    I think Fathers have a a huge role to play here. Mother’s aren’t the only ones guilty. Children learn more from actions than from words. We need wisdom as parents and people in our different communities to help bring up our kids both male and female

  33. Juliet

    May 8, 2016 at 9:00 am

    Very spot on! Boys are not being trained to become responsible adults. The only training most young men get is a string of pornographic videos including music videos.Very unfortunate indeed! We should all work to correct this both in our homes and within the community.

  34. kemi

    May 8, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    Great words. Nice one Toba

  35. Jbaby

    May 8, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    How I wish my husband can get to read this article coming from a man like him. Honestly some parents didn’t try at all in raising their male children. They excuse them from house chores and such boys grow up without knowing just how to do anything, get married and turn their wives into slaves, making marriage hell for them. It’s very sad and annoying. God will help today’s women to raise our boys to become full grown men who are very very responsible, not all these half baked husbands we are marrying about.

  36. Jumoke

    May 8, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    We can only pray that the Almighty helps us to raise our children in a Godly way. Remember the fear of the Lord is the beginning of WISDOM! Let’s teach them the way of the Lord and they won’t depart from it. With prayers and right teachings/training , I believe we can raise boys with a difference! Nice piece Uncle Toba, I know too well that you don’t only preach this,you also practice it. We are proud of you……Thumbs up!

  37. NikeK

    May 9, 2016 at 9:25 am

    Toba! This article is spot on.

  38. kender talks

    May 9, 2016 at 11:56 am

    This is totally amazing and inspiring. Am so sorry, but I really need to share this article to educate more people. Due credit would be given. Hope am permitted?

  39. Gideon

    May 12, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    Wonderful Article sir. The world has rejected God as the sole determiner of what works best for humans. Even religious leaders who ought to teach about God teach about money, How then won’t there be moral breakdown. Kids with wrong sense of right and wrong.. thinking good is bad and bad is good… The world is lying in the power of the wicked one says the Bible(so Satan rules the world) which makes sense because he even offered to give it out for an act of obeisance. Almost every medium today promotes good as bad and bad as good . thanks again for promoting good and condemning bad.

  40. Adams bukola

    May 12, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    Toba well done, I can see a whole new world in this our generation. Keep up the good work. We actually treated this topic at a chic chat gathering in Father’s Church in Abuja. More grace and wisdom Egbon. Love u loads

  41. Kemi Odutayo

    June 14, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Pls I will like to know if Toba is on twitter. And if yes, can you kindly post? Or an email via which I can contact him. Thank you. It’s rather urgent. Thanks once again

  42. Kemi Odutayo

    June 14, 2016 at 10:52 am

    Post his twitter handle, I meant to type?

  43. john diego

    June 16, 2016 at 10:07 am

    wow, bravo!!! Nice write up. I’m also working on a similar project, the male child needs “real life” direction. Those that are applicable to the real world and not just “sweet orientation” of being a Victor, a King. a Superior specie .

  44. Ali

    July 13, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    Remarkable piece

  45. Alade J

    June 18, 2020 at 11:59 pm

    Today I remember this article as the world grows darker and the quality of men keeps dropping

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