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Is there a Bias against Smart, Successful but Single People? Watch Frank Donga, Dabota Lawson, Toke Makinwa, Bolanle Olukanni & Michelle Dede talk about it



MomentsIt’s an all new episode of “Moments” with hosts Bolanle Olukanni, Michelle Dede and Toke Makinwa joined by Dabota Lawson and Frank Donga (Kunle Idowu) as they talk about the lifestyle of smart, successful and single men and women in Nigeria.

Watch below


  1. Mannie

    August 19, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    You would think that with a session title like “Is there a Bias against Smart, Successful but Single People?”, these folks would discuss about something to do with the economic situation in the country and how people are affected by it. Instead they choose to go off on a tangent, discussing marriage palaver. The marriage story is overly flogged, and there is a more enriching discussion we can make without the need to correlate everything with marriage prospects malarkey.

    • me no send beans oh

      August 19, 2016 at 3:24 pm

      have you forgotten that every topic must start with marriage palaver….Naija mentality!!

    • Eliot

      August 20, 2016 at 6:36 am

      God bless you, marriage , marriage , marriage. The topic is hot cake in our society.

  2. Sharon Ifeoma

    August 19, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Hmmm na here I go sleep today.
    Dabota, why was it difficult for you to say you would rather have a family? Girl. you have tasted both world and you know the truth. Thank you for saying your truth gurl … May God bless you with a good man and beautiful children.

    Frank!!! you will not kill somebody oo. A honest mind is like white rice LMAO!!!

    At the end of the day yeah we all need someone special to share all our career success with and having a family to me is a career of some sort. People are turning their kitchen into an office this days.

    Family over everything else.

  3. Sharon Ifeoma

    August 19, 2016 at 3:16 pm


  4. TeamJenny

    August 19, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    Whoever is pushing marriage gist on BN should stop it..

    Frank Donga is just a magnificent bastard. Even when he’s serious; he still funny.

    Bolinto is bae, any day

  5. Felicia

    August 19, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    Bolanle you look so regal xxxxxx. That guy ur jokes are so dry…. kmt

  6. Mr. Egghead

    August 19, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    What I learnt:
    Frank Donga is really very intelligent
    Toke is actually . . . a man-basher, a very talented denigrator of possesors of testicular tissue. She’s a really smart woman but there’s no doubt she’s been cut deep.
    Her question about why men are ‘unwilling’ to step up to successful single women is something to talk about

    What I want to learn:
    How did Dabota Lawson get invited? Things were just flying above her head

    • Good girl

      August 19, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      lol @ egghead….but really why is every topic connected to marriage …if some people will only ignore this topic maybe just maybe it will fade away ..but No..there is always a reference to it more these days by we the makes me question if it means more to some of us than we readily admit

    • Lucinda

      August 19, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      This video actually made me see Dabota in a different (and good) light. I liked her comportment. @ Tayo below. She was making sense. She made the most sense to me. Every other person was just bants. You can’t put out a different personality and be a different person entirely, then expect someone real to take you seriously. Case in point: Toke is always on about Ciara and Russell. No sex before marriage, mfm born again. Next week, what we’ll see is a picture of her nipples in plain sight all over the place.

    • FasholasLover

      August 19, 2016 at 5:18 pm

      I don’t think Dabota did poorly really. Don’t forget that she was in the company of professional speakers.
      In trying to explain why single, successful girls do not have guys step up to them, she unfortunately was unable to articulate her thots properly but, l understood her still. I guess she meant girls pretend a lot. You put out this image of a successful self sufficient person while in actual fact, in your church heart, what you crave is a man to go home to. A man to complete you (Ain’t nothing wrong in that if that is your desire). While you put out this image of “l can do bad all by myself”, regular guys will put you on a pedestal or be too intimidated to come close to you. The successful/wealthy ones “like you”, are either looking for Tinubu and Dangote’s daughters or are looking for very young girls who will worship/look up to them.

      There is nothing wrong with being female, single and successful. Just be your authentic self and a deserving partner will locate you.

  7. Tayo

    August 19, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    Lol what was Dabota talking about, i’m still confused. I don’t want to insult anyone today, but seriously???

  8. Mahka

    August 19, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    Anuty Toke, defender of the unmarried,successful women, I hope she can see when a good man comes her way, she sounds really worked up.
    This topic has been done,dealt with in various forms on this show, pls make it stop. Half of the negative commenters on social media cannot come up to your faces n spew their vile so don’t know why anyone takes stuffs seriously.
    Dabota is so calm, I think she uses lavender essential oil-love her spirit sha.
    Women can really have it all;a successful career,a great Man and a wonderful family. Hilary Clinton or Michelle Obama.

    • ElessarisElendil

      August 19, 2016 at 6:26 pm

      Your examples are terrible (sorry). Hilary does not have a “great” man (he’s great literally but…….. “the blue dress” e.t.c) and Michele’s greatest achievement is literally due to being Barack’s wife. She sacrificed her career for him. Conversely, people like Merkel’s husband and Denis Thatcher sacrificed theirs for their wives success or Sheryl Sandberg’s late husband or going to fiction Bergitte Nyborg’s husband.

      Looks like one side has to sacrifice for one to succeed. Unless you can think up other examples?

    • Mahka

      August 19, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      Wow girl, I guess it’s success with chipped edges…
      I meant the quote was from either women.You should dish out the examples,love to hear them.
      BTW,your name is quite hard to pronounce(tongue twisted)

    • Damilola

      August 20, 2016 at 3:09 pm

      It’s inaccurate rather an insult to say Michelle Obama’s achievement is being Barack Obama’s wife. Michelle is an Ivy League trained lawyer, she worked as Vice President for Chicago hospitals, she made more money than Barack Obama as a senate during that time. She has always emphasized that any job that will take time away from her daughters is not for her. And she negotiated with her job, so she can spend more time with her daughters. Then Barack decided to run for presidency which meant she had to campaign too not just as a wife but a potential First Lady of her country. America fell in love with her and she’s done a great job as First Lady fighting obesity, making sure children have healthy foods in schools, the importance of exercise and fight for education for girls around the world.. She’s not just inactive sitting around doing nothing. I believe, a woman sacrificing her career will be one who was previously a housewife, she couldn’t further her education or career, so she can dedicate her whole life catering to her husband, be trophy wife, popping out kids. Melanie Trump, Barbara Bush and many others fall in that category. And many women who are forefront, their husbands or partners are not house husbands. They have their own jobs, businesses that they do.
      Hilary Clinton doesn’t fall into that category either. If she’s just Clinton’s wife, she will stay behind the scene and live her life. This woman is a presidential candidate, prior to that a senator and also a lawyer.

    • EesE

      August 20, 2016 at 3:40 am

      “Wow girl [guy], I guess it’s success with chipped edges,”

      Sorry about the name, mean’t to be an inside joke for Tolkien fans, why not go with EE?

    • ElessarisElendil

      August 22, 2016 at 1:43 am

      Insult??? Really. Was I insulting the men by stating they sacrificed for their wives’s success?

      By all metrics, her greatest achievement (so far) is being first lady. If Obama isn’t President, I think its safe to say that isn’t happening. I never said she’s inactive, try to contextualize my initial comment i.e showing that nobody can have it all. One has to give. Thank you for proving my point, the First lady had to sacrifice her career to spend time with her daughters, had to sacrifice again so the President could run. Read Game Change, she absolutely hated campaigning, she did it though for her husband.

      Ironically you insult Barbara Bush, (something something women kicking other women) anyways, she campaigned for dyslexic kids as second lady, pushed for family literacy as first and gave one of the most iconic commencement speeches of all time. Did I mention she lost her kid to cancer? Melania speaks what 3 languages, escaped poverty e,t,c You didn’t need to kick them to prop up the First Lady.

      A, Clinton’s political success made full use of the Clinton political machine……built by Bill, not just that he gave her the most important cachet in American Politics, i.e name recognition.

      B. Again, did you read the comment I was replying too, her husband humiliated her publicly, (again read game change, its basically a book about the 2008 campaign. There too his indiscretions cost her, they even thought he was doing it on purpose at a point). Due to the court bills from his actions, he left them in debt. SO she lost something too, her family life isn’t as perfect as I’m sure she’d like. Despite all that she derives a ton of political capital from him. His popularity compared to hers and again his political contacts, when Obama hits the trail for her, he’ll in large part be repaying Bill’s DNC speech.

      Basically I wasn’t insulting anybody. Merely indulging my pessimism about perfect lives.

  9. Omoh

    August 19, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    Dabota was eloquent enough to me, even though her example of someone’s cutlery was petty.

    • sika

      August 19, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      petty af!!! As in…im still in shock that came out. damn!

  10. ada

    August 19, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    Dabota is definitely away with the fairies, The only thing that saved her looking like a total airhead is that she was very chill and calm.

  11. ladym

    August 19, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    Dabota made so much sense. “A lot of us are lost”
    The truth is only Christ can help us live consistent lifestyles. Not even in this age of packaging, branding, PR….

  12. Toks

    August 19, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    Are you guys watching the same show?!! Dabota was actually the realist on here and made the most sense, whatttt! I never hexperredit!

  13. Observer

    August 20, 2016 at 12:00 am

    Wow! My opinion of Dabota has changed! I actually like her! She didn’t come across as the air headed, gold digging and arrogant girl that I thought she was. She is actually quite likeable and calm. Only God knows what that old papa put her through.

  14. Tosin

    August 20, 2016 at 1:52 am

    before doing a show like this next time, please look up the word “successful” – i presume a lot of people are thinking certain outward markers of success imply success – maybe income or phoneh or money or a car or having escaped debilitating poverty like many Africans unfortunately have had to do because the basics are not provided for everybody (sooo saaad).

    what is success?

    then Dabota said something that should not be ignored: many of us are lost, she said. hmm, many people are actually blind, they can’t tell a wogowogo face if there’s enough makeup on, they can’t tell a sad person if there’s a fake smile on, can’t tell an olodo if there’s a website stating they’re brilliant, can’t tell a broke scammer if they have the right costume on…
    and yet, this lady says open your eyes, many are lost. i wish we could talk, because it doesn’t have to be so. everybody deserves to find herself/himself and not be lost. every adult especially. and do you know, not only 20 and 30 year olds are lost, many 40 and 50 year olds. Hmmm.

    • Mz_Danielz

      August 20, 2016 at 8:10 am

      Thanks dear, I saw the title and thought ‘smart, successful’, we really need to define those words..
      Is smartness the ability to speak eloquently or the ability to apply wisdom is dealing with life’s unique challenges in a way that you earn respect from God, man and even ‘haters’?
      Is success, wealth as seen on Instagram or the achievement of worthwhile goals? When we define these two words then we can fully discuss the topic.

  15. Mz_Danielz

    August 20, 2016 at 8:44 am

    Toke; methinks she needs to take our time to heal in her own way, the current message on STV by Pastor Poju will help really.

    Bolanle and Mitchelle; templated answers

    Dabota; spoke from an honest place

    Frank/Kunle; you are funny.

    Let’s not overflog this issue, if someone sees a successful woman or man, they might bring the marriage gist to feel better about themselves. Pple are warped like that.

    I’m 26, single, seemingly successful (driving and SUV, a good career and being a power dresser should qualify you as such abi?, if only people knew), tall, fair and slim, I look like an international model. I’ve had people try to make themselves feel better by trying to put me down. There was a day a colleague called me opelenge Just after a visitor to the office asked why I never considered full time Modelling. When some people tried to apologize on her behalf, I responded that her yabbing me was my charitable deed for the day. she said it to feel better about herself.

    That said, potential spouses do not run away from people because they are successful, some do not have a warm and inviting aura. I’ve met men in their late 30s and early 40s who are single and five minutes with them, you can tell why and there are others who are wonderful, they have just been unlucky. Just remember, most people who look for flaws to put you down with are in a sad place and to it to feel better about themselves, ignore them (or pray for them if you like) and move on

    • ladym

      August 20, 2016 at 11:33 am

      Your head is correct babe.

  16. ElessarisElendil

    August 20, 2016 at 9:43 am

    “Successful, tall, fair and slim, looks like an international model.”

    If this is a proposal, I’ve got an ironed suit ready?

    But seriously, congratulations on your achievements and yes, we seek to put down those we envy most. A coping mechanism I think, its that or see yourself as inferior.

  17. nene

    August 21, 2016 at 5:36 am

    they need a married woman on that panel, so we can get a balanced view. all of them are single.

  18. Anon

    August 21, 2016 at 6:32 am

    na pregnancy hormones dey worry Dabota na

  19. shade

    August 21, 2016 at 7:11 am

    Yeah…marriage is just so necessary, just like other necesity of life

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