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LofeMide: Yo, Suspicious Partners… There’s a New Tattletale Mattress That Detects Cheating!



dreamstime_m_2770311I saw this on a news blog the other day and I found it quite hilarious.

So, Durmet, a Spanish company recently created the world’s first ever cheater catching mattress that is capable of detecting unusual actions on the bed through installed censors and a contact zone detector.

This means if your husband or wife executed some action while you are away, your bed will tell you when you return. Talk about technological aproko!

I wonder if that thing will work in a place like Nigeria though. I mean, there are so many options to explore, if you have cheating in your blood. What are the odds that you will take your cheating partner home to your matrimonial bed? We need a more personal detector that is probably attached to the person’s body- a chip or something. A device that can tell you where your spouse is and what s/he is doing right now. Like a mobile CCTV installed on your spouse’s body.

It was just last week some lady on one of Jerry Springer’s ‘let-me-help-you-scatter-your-home’ shows confessed to installing an app on her baby daddy’s phone that allows her see his text messages as he types and receives them. I thought, the hustle is real mehn!

Don’t be surprised, this expensive smarttress will enjoy an amazing welcome. Many will buy it because it is now cheaper to spend hard end money monitoring your better half than it is to trust the person you pledged your life to.

It got me wondering, why is trust such an expensive thing to invest in today’s world? Why can’t we just believe each other and leave it at that? Why do we go to such great lengths to prove that the people that claim to love us actually don’t. The first thinking is to suggest that people should not bother to marry people they can not trust. But then again, trust has been broken so many times one has to be careful before offering such advice.

What I have found to be true though, a secret that has worked for those who have gone ahead and will keep working for me. At the moment of truth when you want to make a choice of who to trust with your love and life, don’t decide for that man because you are sure he loves you. Nah, decide for him because you are sure he loves God.

I have hurt the people I love timelessly, so I know it’s possible to love someone and hurt them. I also know you can love someone this minute and hate them the next. Think about all the exes you once thought you could not live without. But I know God’s love is inexhaustible such that any one enveloped by it will be consumed so much that to do anything that will reduce the fellowship will be difficult for him. It’s such men that can say like Joseph, how can I do this grievous thing and sin against God!

Then it won’t matter whether the spouse is good to him or not or how attractive the offer is or how lonely he is on that business trip, he won’t want any bridge between him and the God he loves, It’s that love that will keep him.

As it goes, those kind of people naturally partner with people like them. So you want a spouse you can guarantee will never cheat? Fall in love with God, He’ll give you one of His sons or daughters and s/he will do you good all the days of your life.

Back to the matter, what do you think? Is the smarttress a welcome invention?
Who’s likely to get caught more, wives or husbands? Share your opinion in the comment box.


Photo Credit: Ron Chapple |

Lofemide is a deep-thinker, detail-finder and word-smith‎. She is particular about details, hence her writings are mostly musings and conversations. Especially conversations with herself and her God who she loves to no end. Read more of her musings at or tweet at her @lofemide.


  1. shaday

    August 11, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Abeg it’s not that serious.

  2. IJS

    August 11, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    Be careful tho. Only try to find out about cheating if u instend to leave the relationship afterwards

  3. Nawah

    August 11, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    Na wah oh as the bird has decided to fly without landing, the hunter will have to learn how to shot without missing. The bed is not the only place that needs this sensors.

  4. ayi

    August 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm

    may be the help…a cheeky relative…..

  5. pete

    August 12, 2016 at 8:06 am

    Wow. Great piece. Funny how something you already still manages to sound new and refreshing in the mouth of a great speaker or in this case, the hand of a great writer

  6. Jade

    August 12, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    What about the pastors that love God but still go ahead and cheat on their spouses???

  7. twscards

    August 13, 2016 at 9:22 am


  8. Reliy

    September 1, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Very informative & detailed review i appreciate the effort. This will definitely helps me to select my next mattress. Please keep updating in future.

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