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Diaspora Chronicles: Why Won’t You Come Back Home?

Diaspora Chronicles

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This question has become a recurring decimal in my life, as family and friends continue to hound me. They go on to point out my peer group in similar careers that have returned home to Nigeria and are excelling. Their belief is that with my brains and success abroad, I should be able to climb to even greater heights in Nigeria. To defend their argument, my well-wishers go on to explain how the Nigeria I left is better and how development is on the rise and then after the conversation I start wondering if I should really return home.

I then mull over the issues that are hindering me from taking that step.  I will share them with you as below:

Employment
As a Doctor in the US, the sky is the limit in terms of professional growth. When I visit Nigeria and go to the neonatal department and see that many of them do not even have an incubator, I shudder. It is like practicing medicine in the dark ages. However, I do give kudos to my peers in Nigeria who are doing phenomenal work with little or no resources; after living in the US, I cannot thrive in that environment any more.

The same can be said for other diasporan professionals like engineers, chemist etc. When I discuss with friends in those fields they equally confirm that the materials for their trade are lacking and the conditions they are forced to work with are at best sub-optimal. The only ones who seem not to suffer are those who are lucky to get employed in the Oil and Gas sector, but how many people can they absorb?

Power Generation Issues
NEPA!!! When I return to the US after a visit from Nigeria, I still have that humming sound of generator in my head, and it takes a couple of days for it to completely clear. The fact that we do not have an increase in mental sickness is a miracle – that noise can drive one mad.
When I encounter schizophrenics in my line of duty who say they are hearing something in their heads, I wish I could send them to live in Nigeria, so they can really hear something in their heads. It would probably cure the non-existent voices.

Expensive schools for kids
The schools that are comparative to the ones my children attend in the US cost an arm and a leg – what with the American International School in Abuja costing N4.3M and the one in Lagos costing over $27,000 in tuition. This is for the same tutoring standard that is free in the public schools of America. As I cannot afford that yet, I am staying put where I am.

Stress/Abuse from Domestic Staff
The stress that comes with managing support staff and the issues that come with having them live and interact at close proximity with your children, sometimes negates the joys of having them at all.
It is not that abuse does not happen in America, but the sheer number of abuse on children from these staff is staggering. The sad part of it is that, a high number of these cases go unreported. As kids do not get help for fear of social stigma, they remain scarred for life.

Respectful Distance from Intrusive Family Members
Living in the US means that I get to know when you will visit and how long you plan to stay for. In Nigeria, need I say more? In fact, I will just say it!!! Anyone from my village or my husband’s village is automatically a cousin and will think they have a right to my home and to stay as long as they want.
I am not allowed to voice my displeasure either by action or inaction.

Another advantage of not living at home is that there is a limit to the number of family functions you will be expected to attend.

Health Care Provision for People with Special Needs and Disability
I have a friend whose son was born at 23 weeks in the US and was given a prognosis that the baby will not walk, talk or function properly, as he even had stroke at birth. This same child now a young man is off to college this year on pre-med with the hope of studying medicine after graduation.

I have another friend who lived in Canada and has a special needs child. She returned to Nigeria for personal reasons but unfortunately this affected her child’s development due to lack of professional support. She has since returned to Canada with her son, leaving her other family members behind. I don’t even want to mention the lack of health care for things like cancer and the likes.
We do not have the right facility, properly trained and motivated medical personnel and other ancillary services that make healthcare in the Western world second to none.

Well for what it is worth, I would love to relocate to Nigeria as my parents are aging, and a majority of my siblings live there.

I constantly monitor the papers and when I visit, I do a forensic investigation to see if things are really improving.

Yes, things are improving but not to the extent to which will make me want to relocate just yet hence, I am sitting tight where I am for now. How about you? Why are you still living abroad?

For more articles like this see our blog – www.diasporachronicles.com; Instagram – @diasporachr; Facebook – diaspora chronicles.

Story written by Kiki Daniel of Diaspora Chronicles.

Photo Credit: Syda Productions | Dreamstime.com

Diaspora Chronicles specialises in insightful stories, articles and news that will help the newbie settle abroad. On the occasion we do write stories that border on entertainment. Our differentiating factor is that we will not share gossip hence our tag line "gossip is so last year"! Check us out on our blog www.diasporachronicles.com, [email protected], Facebook -Diaspora Chronicles and [email protected]

66 Comments

  1. Deleke

    June 5, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    All your reasons echo my sentiments exactly and need I add that the peace of mind I get living in the US is immeasurable. Since 2003 when I left, I only visited once in 2012 and it was the worst 2 weeks of my life. The noise pollution from generators and the cluster of churches on my little street (imagine Cele, deeper life, redeem and CAC) on one street with their loud speakers, no light, the mosquitoes etc. The worst part was the constant nagging and curfew by my folks for me not to go out or constantly calling to know where I am at. Imagine moi, at my age being told to come home by 7pm. That is when happy hour starts in Manhattan. Sorry peeps, I am staying in this my abroad.

    • Fear God

      June 5, 2017 at 3:42 pm

      I’m not sure it is entirely noble that you’ve only been home once in a 14 year period. Unless of course you have other ways of seeing family members. You sound as if you were home for 2 years and not 2 weeks! Surely the inconvenience of generator noise or concerned parents looking out for you can’t be so bad as to deter you from visiting home and loved ones. Those of us here have not yet died of ear ache!

    • swagg1

      June 5, 2017 at 4:20 pm

      SMH!!!! Deleke continue with the self- loathing behavior and lets see how far it gets you. You need to be part of the solution instead of whinning like a baby. Trump will sure make your on going stay very comfortable with the way that country is going into a dumpster.

  2. Wife in Diaspora

    June 5, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    I moved abroad to be with my husband. It took me a while to realise that there is always electricity and so i dont have to constantly keep my phone plugged to its charger or iron one month’s worth of clothes in case ‘NEPA takes light for long’. I appreciate that the roads are not pothole ridden and that the transport system works for the most part.
    But I am struggling to find friends in my age group and who subscribe to a similar value system and who understand naija humour. I am struggling to adapt to the weather and all the imbalance the different seasons bring. In winter the sun set at 3pm, now it is spring and the sun is in the sky till almost 9pm.
    Mostly I miss my family and friends and the small pleasures like asun and small chops!

    • T

      June 5, 2017 at 8:18 pm

      Where in the states do you live?

    • Red

      June 6, 2017 at 12:49 am

      Gilllll, me too!!! Especially the naija humor. They just don’t get it over here.

    • Me too

      June 10, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      @ Wife in Diaspora. so true…..especially the naija humor part. I did not even find their jokes funny either. I can so relate because I was in your exact situation when I initially moved to the UK. It took me over a year to adjust, but I finally did. Give it some time and you’ll get used to everything. XX

  3. Sunshiney

    June 5, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Hope you’re not an illegal.

  4. just what i think

    June 5, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    hey sis! there is no rush in returning home….things are trying but we still need major improvement. you’ve made some valid points here for ur purpose of staying back and i agree with you esp in relations with kids growing up and the ever increasing school fees with poor facilities that dont measure up.
    i attended private uni in Nigeria and paid so much for so less an education that woulda been better if i attended cheap colleges abroad.
    after that they’ll still tell the youth do NYSC for a year! like the job is sure after the nonsense NYSC.

    most youths leave in confusion until after NYSC when the spec falls and there is no job………that’s when the depression and sadness kicks in. (which l

    i can only advice you to try and grow a business in Naija has u juggle ur life btwn the overseas and naija…..at-least that’s what im doing cuz naija na untapped market. with heavy potentials,

    STAY BLESSED

  5. ab

    June 5, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    To those who return back to Nigeria I truely respect! Nigeria is one of those places where you have to be beastly in order to survive ! You talk about health care, the state run medical facilities yes are a tad or like you say is like practicing in the dark ages But there are I believe doctors for example who have left the comfort of the west to set up better equipped hospitals (albeit private and ofcourse more expensive that perphaps the below belt Nigerian cannot afford) but my point is that they have taken the step to help build Nigeria however little.. The west is a safe place and I mean that in the sense of all round life security whether for your employment, kids, education etc, where as with Nigeria, no, you have to be beasty, tenacious and mentally prepared for the heavy knock backs! But I genuinely believe that the satisfaction and the gain gotten after all the craziness of one’s hustle, fights, tears etc in nigeria is far more enormous than what you get when you in your safe place aka west ( be it USA, Canada etc) (Again this might not ring true for all but I believe for most)…For instance my dad went to school in America & to be honest he wouldn’t have left had an uncle not promised to set him up, he came and like he always tells us boy my children ‘it was difficult’ as no help came but as a fully qualified accountant and a business inclined man he was determined to make it and make it all to the glory of God did he! I glean a lot from that cause God knows I desire to be wealthier than my father bcos there’s work to be done for the needy and I will love to chuck money to most helpless…I don’t think my dad would have trained 5 children in UK, no not USA , Uk where tuition and living for one person is like so high but he did because he was determined to make it in Nigeria (and no he ain’t no politician either) and he decided to stay and do it! I thank God for him and his hustling spirit and hence why I said in the beginning ‘Any man or woman who hangs their boot of comfort & decides to come rattle it out in Nigeria ,I give major respecK (lol) cause sh*t ain’t easy but the gain? Damn, when you realise how much you have helped contribute to your own nation’s growth amongst other things and how much you have achieved because of the tears and sweats, there’s no greater joy! And No I ain’t knocking those who choose to stay away, to each their own, continue to excel in whatever you doing abroad it’s all good too! But always remember any move to Nigeria has to somewhat bear what you have mentioned above in mind but be exceedingly ready to make it work regardless! Well done though, you make great points !

    • Lacey

      June 5, 2017 at 8:29 pm

      Thank you ab and Californiabrawlar. I lived in Europe, England and moved to America and back in Nigeria ??!!! Proudly Nja!!!
      For me America has lost its lush!!! Even London looks very rural to me, except you are in central London!!! In some part of London you will think you are in the middle east!!! My dear reasons are really funny!!! People die in hospitals in London and America everyday!!! That is why I ❤️ them Chinese!!! Because I have noticed that Nigerians and Indians have a lot in common!!! They like luxuries they can replicate in their own countries, so they stay put in another man’s country and continue to moan!!! I lived all around America and until I moved to Northern California, San Francisco Bay Area that I would say I enjoyed living in America!!! But it cost arm and leg to even live there, compared to post places in Nigeria !!! Europe has always been tops for me!!! Most of America compared to English country side , I would choose the English country side, but to think of it I believe Nigeria is very posh and if we professionals can think out of the box , and ensure that the regions are developed with green house technology!!! If you ask me, I would rather live up Country in Nigeria, than in the major cities!!! God that put us in Africa knows why? As per sending kids in primary and kindergarten to 2.5 million schools a term is crazy!!! I will home school my children from 2-5 and look for a nice standard but cheap school for primary , as this days, they hardly teach anything, they send everything home to parents as homework!!!my dears no need to praise Technology in America or Europe,it can be done here in Nigeria!!! That is why Chinese students return to China once they finish their studies to make China number one in the World!!! Africans , especially Nigerian professionals in diaspora should quit the flimsy excuses and think of how they can add value, for those that are passionate about Nigeria!!! For those who want to stay abroad because of the cozy feeling of comfort!!! Good luck ?? and have fun!!! But stop the rants!!!

    • layolomo

      June 5, 2017 at 10:01 pm

      Please dont give out false information. School fees in UK is totally free from primary level well up to college .. except you purposely choose to send your child to the very few private schools (which often turns out pointless at the end)
      When its time for university, you get a student loan which you only pay back gradually once you get a full-time job earning over a certain amount.

  6. Californiabawlar

    June 5, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    If you live in the south AND work in a predominantly white field, my sister you will be the one asking yourself why you’re not going back home ?

    • Snazzy

      June 5, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      Hey Sis, it might be time to come to the North. We will love to have you.

  7. Akara Pancake

    June 5, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    I know someone who moved back to Nigeria some years back after more than 15 years in Yankee, and only last about 5 months.

    When I asked him why, his answer was this: I could deal with the epileptic power supply, I could deal with the corruption and having to sort people to do their job. I could even deal with the mind-numbing traffic that made a short trip between Ajah and Surulere become like the Israelite 40 year trek to Canaan. I could even bear the general insecurity, and the relative lack of regard for human life, such that someone jejely sitting at home eating roasted corn in the evening could catch a stray bullet without any repercussion to his killer. But, Akara Pancake, I could not deal with the unstable internet. That was the last fucking straw!!”

    He continued “I dont ask for much in this life. I am not interested in amassing billions of naira, or buying the biggest house in Ikoyi, or driving a Mercedes truck on Lagos’s pot holed riddled streets. I am a humble guy who wants simple things. So when I get back home from a hard day’s hustle of busting my ass, I expect to be able to use stable internet that does not cost an arm and a leg, and does not crash once you start to stream anything. Internet is what separates humans from animals. It is a necessity in modern life. I put it above food, clothing and shelter”

    Without knowing, he had started shouting.

    I agreed with him: without internet, there is no Netflix and chill, no Tinder, no Amazon etc. Without internet, there is no escape from one’s deary existence.

    Look man, everybody should live and do what works for them. I love Nigeria to the moon and back (no pun intended), but personally I am a world traveler at heart. I do not see myself living in Nigeria year in year out. I like the arrangement of going 2-3 months out of the year to the motherland to handle some family business, and so that my youngins absorb the culture, and eat my grandma’s palm oil stir fried rice. So that I can change the few dollars I have into naira, and watch runs girls fall over themselves in a bid to attract my attention. So I can buy cheap beer and asun, and still collect change.

    • Uloma

      June 5, 2017 at 8:44 pm

      My tummy hurts, you are a very funny pelzin. There is something quite familiar about what you said. I have attended quite a few going home parties. When the celebrants return (to the abroad) it is done quietly but that is another article. Lol.

    • Cynical

      June 5, 2017 at 10:16 pm

      @ Akara Pancake, ROTFL…. Your comment made my night. But I understand the guy sha.

  8. Snazzy

    June 5, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    I am staying put in these budo oyinbo for all the reasons you have above. I love the access to quality healthcare, the fact that I dont have to buy aso ebi for a party every other weekend, opportunities to grow in my career, good schools and distance from extended family members. Having all my siblings here in the US is a blessing. I have my support system in place. I miss naija from time to time and I am looking forward to visiting soon. I am a Nigerian girl at heart . You can take snazzy out of Nigeria, but you can’t take Nigeria out of snazzy!

  9. ButtercuP

    June 5, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    Please stay.. honest truth is, Nigeria is not better and I really don’t see it getting better (p.s just because ikoyi, lekki, Vi, gra ikeja, some areas in Abuja ‘seem’ to be better doesn’t make Nigeria better) I mean there are 36 states in the country and majority of those states are an eye sore.
    I don’t see it getting better because most of us In Nigeria are traveling to give birth to our kids abroad, the truth is most of these kids are not gonna come back after schooling.(I mean what’s there to come back to anyway? They are not like us 80’s and 90’s kids who still feel some sort of attachment to naija hence the pull to come back) so in the next 20-50 years guess who’s gonna be ruling? Same ol thieves (just In another form) with their crappy shitty mentality.

  10. SoniaPaloma

    June 5, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    I think relocating anywhere is a big step and requires a lot of planning and even worse when it is a country that the law does not protect you or you literally have little or no right

    Now, to your question of why i haven’t relocated: I feel I do not have the required skills/mental tolerance yet to enable me make a change and thrive in Nigeria. If you are fixating on a drastic improvement to push you towards moving back home, then unfortunately that is not happening anytime soon. The system is corrupt and the only way to thrive is to fight back which unfortunately many are not ready to.

    There is big demarcation between the poor and the rich in Nigeria which is not so obvious over here. You literally can eat in the same restaurant as the millionaires, wear the same designers, live comfortably 85% of the time. In Nigeria, when you are rich, you are automatically above the law. In Nigeria, you can get slapped by an employer or fired on the spot for no reason and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, but try that here, you will end up sipping Mojito on an island from the check awarded to you by court

    Heaven knows I really do want to move back to invest and impact positively in Nigeria but the truth is, the government and citizens are too corrupt and will easily break down ones spirit. Never the less, the goal is still to try to move back in 2/3 years, hopefully I don’t develop cold feet lol

    • Uloma

      June 5, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      Wish you well. I totally agree with your point. Un professionalism in the work place kept me quite frustrated back in day. Almost lost my confidence. Now I am recognised for the effort I put in. The weather is cold mostly, senior management is predominantly white, I have no one to fetch and carry for me. There are a few issues which pale in comparison to what I experienced in Nigeria. My father’s kidnap was the height of it all. My mum had joined me in the UK for omugwo and when the kidnappers called she returned to Nigeria in her pj’s. It still hunts me till tomorrow. If I had no choice would stay in Naija and stomach it but I had a choice. I searched the Internet found a way out and grabbed it with both hands. Kudos to those that are breaking frontiers in Naija like BN. I really do wish everyone well whatever you decide.

  11. Glow

    June 5, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    I can understand all that the writer said. One of MY biggest deterrents is security. I can stomach the noise, air pollution and other things but all the robbery and kidnapping stories get to me. We need real police. I am still believing God for Nigeria though, I know things ARE changing for the better. In fact I’m hoping to be a small part of the change. One day, I will move back home because every place has its shortcomings. Even after 20+ years away my heart is always with Nigeria.

    • Uloma

      June 5, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      We continue to pray Glow, we continue. Bless your plans!

  12. Linda

    June 5, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    And don’t let the constant showcase of FAKE LIFE S ON BELLANAIJA or shows from. Ebony life TV FOOL YOU. ALL OF THEM ARE FAKING THE Funk.

    • Idealist

      June 5, 2017 at 9:47 pm

      And this right here is the realest & most sensible comment. I think people in the diaspora are misguided by this “New Nigeria” or ” New Lagos” … Y’ know the one
      where every one is posh,
      Folks drink smoothies
      Folks visit art galleries
      Folks do brunch
      Ladies display their birkin and loub closets
      Folks drive range rover cars
      Work out/ run on Ikoyi bridge
      Owambes every Saturday…..etc, etc..
      All na wash, that’s not the reality of Nigeria. Think Twice!

  13. Lol

    June 5, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    The roads that are so bad, having to collude with corruption by giving egunje and bribes at any corner. Knowing if there was a murder or robbery, there’d be no due diligence, the criminals would go scot free as the politicians go Scot free. Having to look at young children begging and suffering whilst sitting in air condition when I know it was luck of birth that I’m not one of them. Having to watch an innocent baby die of an operation that costs N50,000 because his tomato seller parents can’t afford it as they are barely making rent. Having to smile and mix with people that are stealing, scamming and or living off the proceeds of stealing, scamming, murder. Not been able to ask people what they truly do for a living.
    People looking down on you because you are not a walking salesman for hair extensions, MAC cosmetics and fake birkin handbags. Irrational mentality of so called educated people who still defer to shamanism and traditional doctors and love to abuse things in name of ‘culture’.

    • Mohammad

      June 5, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      E be like say you read my mind write this ya comment. Add to the fact that I am an atheist and Naija peeps no go free me rest.??‍♂️ And worst of all I come add being one of those gays join!! Shock! horror!!! ??

  14. Mama Charlie loyalist and proud

    June 5, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    For me, it is the semblance of fairness. You see how i wrote semblance, because no where in the world are things 100% fair, but at least here you have a level playing field to an extent, and when nepotism and old school tie show up it’s not glaringly obvious like you have in 9ja where you’ll be working for years, no promotion, or trying to look for job no luck then one smallie will come fresh from masters and get CBN job as your oga. Life is never fair but in nigeria, it defines that statement. if you are a nobody, to a large extent, you can continue like that for decades, have children too and cycle continues. the need to know someone or come from money to get a leg up in life is what disgusts me about our society and why i will never move back.

    The kind of job i have now, i got on merit. I did my masters, applied like everyone else, in less than five years, i have two properties and nobody knows who the heck my father is. I tell my parents that the same electricity in buckingham palace is the same electricity in Brixton. People living in Chelsea will turn on their taps the same way people in Peckham will do so. Even with things like food, every social class have the same access, you can now choose to shop in Lidl or harrods food hall, but you’ll be able to eat. they have developed their societies where the basic things are available for everyone, if you work hard, then you get the extras and fine things. There is Primark and there’s Gucci. You don’t have to feel inhuman and wear rags. There is Mc Donalds and there are Michelin Star restaurants. You want to to treat your family, whichever class you are, you’ll get something. You can go on holiday within the uk or go skiing abroad. whatever your pocket can afford, it’s available. What the poor face in nigeria bring tears to my eyes. How they can’t even eat. I heard meat is so expensive some families can’t afford to feed their children meat. even eggs, are out of their reach. There are many dirty disgusting neighbourhoods here, but it’s down to the people that live there, and not the government not caring. You will find that it’s immigrants that live mostly in such neighbourhoods because they brought that bad habit with them from their countries with structures and societies like ours. Even at that, electricity is working, water is working, they have access to NHS, they have school for their children. Government can’t force you to be clean and tidy or not engage in crime.

    They also have their differences in class but you aren’t made to feel worthless or inhumane because you don’t have money. You insult a shop keeper here and they’ll walk you out of the store and prosecute if necessary. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. They publicly shame rich people misbehaving. We, we praise the same people who have robbed us off out future. I’m not painting a perfect society, but painting one that is at least striving for good for everyone. Our government doesn’t care, the big men don’t care. Nigerians at large are inherently selfish. Their children don’t school in nigeria, so they let the schools go to hell. Same for our hospitals.

    If they manage to build an airport on the island, watch how MMA will become worse. Student loans are available. You can be born on a council estate and go to Oxford if you get the right grades. Even if your school isn’t as good as Eton for example, but you have access to the internet to improve yourself, study hard and get good enough grades to go to Oxford. You can get a job in Morgan Stanley and come from Peckham if you study hard and go to University. Their society is designed for upward mobility if you put in the effort. Where are the children from Ajegunle going? What’s their future. Even public schools, education that has always been the tool for social mobility, they let rot because they want only them and their cronies and their children to be at the top. They left the populace largely uneducated. Here we have OFSTED regulations. You have the option of relocating to live in an area to get better schools for your children. my friends have moved from London to kent, Essex, even midlands to get great schools for their children.

    Access to healthcare should be a right as a human being but if you don’t have money you get the dregs of healthcare. The NHS may not be perfect, and if you live in big cities you may not get the best, but their worst is still better than what the average man gets at general hospitals in nigeria. What’s up with that. People dying in their Lord knows how many numbers, for something as basic as health. maternal mortality rates in nigeria is scary, even in private hospitals. the fact that life has no meaning to a large extent in nigeria.

    You can be living in the best neighbourhood in Lekki, it is the day your car crashes on awolowo way in ikeja that you realise, your high brow neighbourhood can’t save you. your posh car, your money in bank account can’t save you because there are no functioning ambulances, or air ambulances that will get you to a hospital regardless of your social standing. Here, 999 and an ambulance is on it’s way, whether you are a millionaire or a street sweeper. Your life is valued. the day i watched this reality tv shows about the A and E, i didn’t realise i was crying, till i wiped my face. Nobody cared who these patients were or are or whatever, the way they were scrambling to save a life. Nobody was asking whether they had paid or telling their families to go and buy drugs or pay for beds or dehumanising treatment metted to family members. or is it an episode that i watched where a little girl fell off a cliff. There was an air ambulance, rescue services, fire engine, and ground ambulances just to save ONE person. One person. they didn’t give up till that girl was pulled out. Doctors are not gods that they play with human life and no recourse under the law.

    Me, Me, Me, Me is the greatest problem we have as Nigerians, it’s not the government. It’s US that’s the problem. The government came from US. That’s why i’m not moving back. If my child can go to private school, i have generator, my car has AC, me me me, i don’t care if my gateman’s child can’t eat well because the 10k i am paying as salary is what everyone pays. He should manage it, but you’ll go out to eat and spend 10k at a sitting or 300k on a weave or sunglasses, and not consider how you expect your gateman to feed his children from his paltry salary. You don’t care that the house maid you employ at age 15 is going to have a future one day and should be in school not watching your ajebutter children 24/7. You don’t care that your tailor’s child died at LUTH because your own children have access to Lagoon hospital. I am HAPPY to pay my taxes. I’m a higher rate tax payer and i am happy to contribute to a communal pot, because tomorrow my child could be the one that has an accident, or it could be me that needs medical care, or me that needs the police or other social services. I’ll continue paying my taxes. even if it reach to 50%, i’ll pay it. I’m not moving back o. Epistle/rant over

    • Mohammad

      June 5, 2017 at 7:27 pm

      I hope you are voting Labour on Thursday Aunty. Thanks very much in advance.

    • Uloma

      June 5, 2017 at 8:21 pm

      It is not an epistle neither a rant but the sheer truth. I love you and your mind. I love all things Nigerian. Had a job offer last year but when I put it all on the table, I thought i better remain where I am. At least the pounds I send home is salvaging some. God help us!

    • Sayo

      June 5, 2017 at 9:29 pm

      Nothing to add. Wow is all I can say. Well said. Let me put small jara. You will employ a driver and pay him 20k to be driving a 10 million naira car and you have the nerve to complain about the system. Thunder fire you. Yes I said so. This same driver will pick your children from their millions of naira school. Drive you to shop and restaurants and parties dripping in gold and designers. He will drop you at the airport and watch as you fly away to enjoy but you can’t pay him a living wage. Where he lives, you don’t know. You expect him to be at your house by 7am sharp. Poor man probably woke up at 4am to be able to get to your house in Lekki for 7 and will get home 12am because you won’t release him on time. At least there’s social housing in london for the low paid and those that move out they can take the train or bus and they have set opening and closing time. Your house maid that you watch over your million naira houses and possessions, you pay 15k and expect to do everything and more. Why won’t they sleep with your randy husbands. Who no like better thing. Who poverty epp? The way we treat people we see beneath us is what like you said disgusts me. I thought my mama raised me with respect but mehn I was re raised about respect. My neighbours husband drives a truck. Ordinarily if it was nigeria he shouldn’t even be on the same “social class” as me. Guess what. He is my neighbour. As I got a mortgage, he too got a mortgage. We share a fence. He earns way more than many office workers. Truck driver o. Gowan on holidays to Spain and France at will. Even if you are not university educated the system has skills you can acquire to survive and earn a living. Call out charge for electcian £95. See plumbers balling. Let me not talk too much. We just collected salary last week. Chancellor of the Ex chequer don collect their own. I don’t mind. What’s left is still plenty and I have peace of mind

    • Lacey

      June 5, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      @ Mama Charlie!!! Your comment just made my day!!! We must take Nigeria out of hands of selfish leaders!!! They will cook live chicken stew and ask their maids to cook that cheap fish stew for themselves, giving your children bacon and eggs with bread and tell house maid to eat bread and Lipton!!! The Noveau rich in Nigeria are the most wicked human beings on earth!!! They steal funds and turn around to carry themselves like peacocks and still not take care of their drivers and security!!!

    • I no dey come

      June 6, 2017 at 3:19 am

      Now this is a well-written piece! That is it. I left Nigeria because my yellow paw-paw self was not ready to climb thte corporate latter on my back – and yes, that was literally the demand everywhere I went. I this Amreeka, I climb when I have the buzz to climb. I research what I need for the next level, I work towards it, and bingo. I may have a few hiccups but they are EXPLAINABLE. Even racism is more humane than the sexual assault women are subjected to in Nigeria. There was not a single place I went to that I was not solicited. No, I am not the finest girl on earth. I was just YELLOW. God will punish all those men. I was lucky though, I had passport. So I was able to run. I still wonder -if I was from a poor family and I had no way out of poverty, would I be forced into sleeping with bosses to get ahead? Thank God for mercies. That is why I dont judge the runs girls.

    • misskay

      June 6, 2017 at 12:59 pm

      a standing ovation the best rant ever!!! my intestines were clapping as u typed

    • lala

      June 7, 2017 at 2:05 pm

      I am a die hard fan of the country Nigeria. I love it here and I am prosperous (My love for Naija started even in my hustling days), but you made so much sense I wish i could love your comment 1000 times. Thanks for talking about the me, me, me syndrome. You so ministered to me. Although I do a lot within my sphere of influence but with you analysis I will be more intentional in seeking avenues to do a lot more outside my immediate circle.

      I will consciously make these improvements because every time Nigerian in diaspora talk ill of the nation my heart genuinely bleeds. I wish we will all see the good in the nation and work together to make it greater.

      I fear that in the next generation, there will be too many foreigners in this nation ruling its affairs. let us remember the future of the nation in all our decision making processes

    • cherry

      June 9, 2017 at 7:34 am

      I wish I can like your comment a million times, let me not even start my own epistle, you have said it all, the domestic staff in my place of work drive their own cars and live in their own houses, even if d car is on finance or mortgaged properties, at least it’s there’s at d long run, in naija only d rich can use a car or an average person…… Dats y u can hardly see a difference between d rich n poor here in uk, I had my 2 kids @ a normal nhs hospital without paying a dime, cos I have paid my tax and NI, plus you will even get smp from your employer or maternity pay from uk govt, without you being a citizen yet, but naija ontop d tax u pay one can have hypertension when u think of getting pregnant, private hospitals in Ikeja axis be asking you to pay 350k just because I want to have a baby, needless talk of all those ones on the island, hospital bills can make you run away. There is access to every thing here so I am staying.

  15. Spunky

    June 5, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    Very true. However, we will get there(slowly but surely.) There should be an open mind to taking decisions like this. Look at the big picture and not just for selfish reasons. Who said you can’t live the life here? Take a look at Toke ( lol, pun intended.)

    • californiabawlar

      June 5, 2017 at 6:34 pm

      Hmmn. The big picture is much more selfless and sacrificial, and should even make you stay! We low key resented my parents for ever moving back in the 80s! Pops died in a car crash (bad roads) within a few years of moving back home. We were broke af through the military regime as my mum raised 6 children working for peanuts. We used to just sit around looking at old family photos thinking of what could have been if my dad hadn’t bundled everyone back in the name of coming build a better Nigeria. And you can modify my story to fit several thousands of families that made a similar decision back then.

      I’m a proponent for a better Naija o! It won’t build itself BUT often times the wise words of J Cole “…don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved…” resonates too well with the situation

    • Gina

      June 6, 2017 at 10:25 am

      I hate it when people say “pun intended” when they did not make a pun.

      Go and research the meaning or don’t use it! Ugh!

  16. Gbemi

    June 5, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    I think we all relocate to the USA because of all the reasons stated above or what’s the purpose of this write up ?

  17. Gbemi

    June 5, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    Pls help me put the “should”

  18. Nene

    June 5, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    Nigeria is terrible. If you are doing ok wherever you are, stay put. Don’t jump to pressure.

  19. Engoz

    June 5, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    “Sometimes the place you are used to is not the place you belong. You belong where you believe you belong. Where is that for you?” Robert Katende, Queen of Katwe.

    This quote sums up my views. I was probably 17 when I realized I don’t belong in Nigeria. No need to intellectualize it. Home is where the heart is and for me it is NOT in Nigeria.

    • Mohammad

      June 5, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      I couldn’t agree more. I guess I had been living in a bubble of only moving in circles even among Nigerians where my atheism and homosexuality were well-received, and then I read some of the racist and islamophobic comments (that is underlined by the hypocrisy of the commenters being black and religious) on BN following Saturday’s terrorist attacks in London (and BN still refusing to post my opposing comment, despite it not being controversial in anyway). To make matter worse, seeing the abject lack of humanity in the comments on BN on the article about Chibuihe Obi’s kidnapping and even worse on other media. Man, Naija is definitely not for me. I don’t even know if I care to visit anymore.

  20. Baymax

    June 5, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    if i could, i would relocate to the US for all the reasons you highlighted. (Baba God, hear my prayer. A good job and through legal means)

    Abeg, stay where you are o. Some people who pressure you to come back will never come back if they were in your shoes.

    • Uloma

      June 5, 2017 at 8:46 pm

      Check out scholarships on our blog. It is scholarship season. Dig deep online there is always a way.

  21. TheTruth

    June 5, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    All of the points are too valid. After long consideration, I will stay where I am.

  22. Missmo

    June 5, 2017 at 8:15 pm

    Funny thing is you don’t even have to be in U.S U.K or Canada to seel that life is really hard in Nigeria. Many aftican countries like Rwanda and south africa are doing very well with basic amenities. Light..water..good roads and working systems.
    I’m headed for NG for a short visit in the next couple of weeks and i av missed feelings already. Life is not meant to be hard. Its meant to be enjoyed.

    • Irene

      June 5, 2017 at 9:03 pm

      So true. I was in SA and I was truly shocked at everything about that country. South Africa is miles ahead of Nigeria. They run a system that truly works. Light, 24hrs, clean running water (not bore holes), good roads, no pot holes, hygiene everywhere, MMA is a joke where SA’s airports are. People are genuinely helpful without wanting a bribe or anything

  23. New gurl

    June 5, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    Came back January after my masters and oh my God I miss the uk event hough I was working crazy hours and stressed most times….the stress I’m facing now is scary, I haven’t been able to get a job, engaged myself with a small office two weeks after returning cos I was tired of not working (had like 3part time jobs and occasional babysitting jobs before returning) I also accompany and assist a friend and former classmate cos the office I’m in is not a busy place; note I am not being paid in this office. The money I came bck with is almost finished, it’s exactly 5months since I returned and I wish I hadn’t (I had no choice though as I didn’t get a stable job that’ll sponsor my visa after my studies). Some days I get so down and depressed, the fact that I’m still single and in my father’s house is another baggage. I’m just soo tired of everything …….please if yo live outside naija and have a choice of staying back there please stay, don’t come back unless a better job is waiting for you here.

    • Jenny

      June 6, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Hello dear, this was my sister in June 2014 and eventually me in March 2015. Single professional women armed with UK masters degrees and picking beans for Daddy’s supper for want of employment. The story has changed
      1. Wipe your tears and roll up your sleeves you need a job that pays the bills. My sister started as a HSE worker at a construction site for 50k a month. I got work in a private hospital for 120k a month. As a house officer I earned much more. We got recommended to these peanuts jobs by calling everyone we’d worked with in Lagos previously
      2. Over deliver on that peanut job and apply to others tirelessly. My sister got promoted twice till she was earning 350k ( used all the negotiation skills she picked up in the uk). I got another job in NGO universe with better pay
      3. Decide what you really want and relentlessly pursue. I would have liked to marry and settle down in Nigeria but when no one suitable was forthcoming I shelved that plan and started searching for work in the U.K. which I got this year. My sister has continued to rise and change jobs and though in Nigeria earns same as me in U.K.
      4. The story continues….please serve God and those around you and be determined to make it work okay….cheers

  24. Dee

    June 5, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Poverty in Nigeria is really felt like unlike everywhere else its disguised.

  25. The real dee

    June 6, 2017 at 12:37 am

    In all, this is my belief, everyone has a destiny and there is a divine location where God has ordained for you to prosper.

    I won’t even start comparing the US with Nigeria, as far as I’m concerned there is no room for comparison. In terms of basic amenities alone, Nigeria is no where close, but that is not the point.

    If you believe in God, you must never forget that God has a plan even for your location. Some people will never prosper in Nigeria, no matter how much they try but if they step their feet in the US(UK, Canada etc), and legally too not through dubious means, they will ‘blow’. In the same vein, some people will move to the US and they will never make it, they’ll just keep struggling with nothing to show for it, but if they had remained in Nigeria, they would have prospered .

    Now, this is beyond the economy of the country, this is solely based on knowing God’s plan for your life and sticking to it.

    Of course, if everything is based on logic, the probability of making it in Nigeria if you are not from a rich and well connected family, is quite slim. There are always exceptions to this rule, but the gap between the rich and the poor is longer than Third mainland bridge. Nevertheless, if you’re where God has predestined you to be, lines will fall unto you in pleasany places in due time.

    So to the question, will I move back to Nigeria? As at last year I would have screamed yes with ease, just because I missed home so much as marriage made me move to the US compulsorily. But at this time my answer will be as God wills?because God has been so faithful to me in this land and I am now assured that this is where he has destined me to be. I even recall dreams I had in the past while growing attesting to this fact.

    On the other hand, my parents live in Nigeria, will I encourage them to move to the US, hell no. Why? Because Nigeria is where their destiny fulfilment lies and even with all the issues in Nigeria, God keeps blessing and elevating them. It’s like they’re not even feeling it, and they’re not politicians but they have put in almost 30 years of hardwork to be at the top of their career now. And I won’t also deny the hand of God in their lives as they started from nothing, as I remember when I was a kid.

    • Gina

      June 6, 2017 at 10:32 am

      I’m sorry the real dee, I don’t even understand what you’re on about.

      Knowing God’s plan for your life means what exactly?
      Isn’t He the all knowing God that already sees the beginning from the end? Therefore if I decide to move to Kenya, He must have already known that this is what I would do, even before I was born, or nah?

      Do we really have the power to alter God’s plan by moving to a different location that was not according to His plan? Are we that powerful to redesign what our Creator planned?

      SO if I prosper in Kenya, that means it was God’s plan and if I don’t it wasn’t His plan? What do you measure this prosperity by anyway? You know your standard might not be the same as others, right?

      Sometimes these doctrines get people more confused than anything else.

    • sun shine

      June 6, 2017 at 11:42 am

      @ Gina, please pray for understanding if you don’t understand. The real dee made a lot of sense.More or less if you are a christian and believe in God (don’t know if you do) pray to him for a divine location. Whether it is in nigeria, kenya, dubai or USA, if your destiny is in line with your divine location, you will definitely prosper.

    • Gina

      June 8, 2017 at 4:05 pm

      @sun shine, you know you’re talking in circles right?

      God owns my destiny. even before I was born, He owned it. So how can I start asking for understanding over what is already a given.

      Is my life God’s chess game that depends on what prayer moves I make?

      Does he not know that I will or will not pray even before I do or don’t do so?

      Does he not know that I will move to Timbuktu even before I do it?

      What exactly should be the prayer point here?

  26. The Good Nigerian

    June 6, 2017 at 12:38 am

    Nigeria is a lovely country with great potential. Live wherever you want to live. No qualms.

  27. Mandy

    June 6, 2017 at 1:16 am

    I left Nigeria when I was 8 years old, returned when I was 13 for 3 months, they my family and I settled in Houston Texas, I’m 23 years old and I want to be the first Nigerian female president, but I am yet to return to Nigeria to purse my dreams because my family won’t let me. They believe I have a better opportunity here in the states and I should forget my political aspirations for fear of being killed. However I believe we are the future and if we all returned home we would make Nigeria a better place. Imagine all the doctors, nurses, teachers, correctional officers who are Nigerians went back home.

  28. Shine

    June 6, 2017 at 1:20 am

    I made that mistake in 2015, got a job to join a media start up. I only spent 2years In Toronto prior to that and my friends thought I was crazy. I didnt listen, i packed my bags and gbam Lagos! Big mistake! I was already accustomed to fast internet, stable power supply, in fact availability of everything. I couldnt fit in, the salary was gone one week after pay day on fuel for generator, data, data and more data just to maintain my sanity. I didnt do it for the money because digital media was a passion of mine but oh boy when i couldnt contain the situation, i packed my bags and returned back to Toronto. I wont advice anyone to go back unless they have a support system which most rich kids do anyway. If youre planning a start up by yourself and no strong financial background, dont! I dont regret the experience though, Ive learnt a lot about starting a new business in a such a crazy terrain . Until then let me acquire my foregin accent and money then i can come back for join the crazies.

  29. Shine

    June 6, 2017 at 1:21 am

    Ignore my typos abeg

  30. cocozee

    June 6, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    I live in Ghana and.I don’t ever want.to relocate back to Nigeria because light supply, secured environmemt, good education and most importantly, the standard of living is low. This is my “abroad’…

  31. mamacita

    June 6, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    @Uloma, pls which websites can one check for the scholarships biko

    • Uloma

      June 6, 2017 at 10:08 pm

      @mamacita I put up a concise list on http://www.diasporachronicles.com. I will hunt for more too. There is the IFP one but it is for engineers. Read Odam’s story also on our site – she recently got a full scholarship for a masters in France. If you do me an email, I’lI connect you to her. She’s alway willing to encourage. Write me on [email protected]. Wishing you the very best. Please hang in there!

  32. Masters hopeful

    June 8, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Speaking of disapora, I want to do my masters in Toronto, Canada and I really need help with good and affordable schools.
    I’ll be taking a business course, not necessarily MBA just masters.
    Please let me know if you have any suggestions, I will be following this thread and it will be greatly appreciated.

    • Uloma

      June 9, 2017 at 11:40 am

      Ok dear will work on this for you. Already working on a full scholarship list. However this will be published on our blog. thanks for making me do what I love. My reward is in heaven lol!

    • Poesy

      July 4, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      Google schools/departments and read up all the information on their websites. A lot of them have Twitter accounts and you can have questions personally answered. (after you’ve done your research, of course) Some schools offer full funding (Research and thesis based Masters). You will have to teach but hey, no free lunch, right?

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