Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.
We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.
I went against every principle I hold myself to. For 23 years I had life easy…until my dad died in April. Saying it’s been hard is a raging understatement. But I had been managing fine. Then bills came and kept coming, and while mum and I worked harder to meet up, they kept coming. The last one that broke the camel’s back would lead to me dropping out of the university and I’m in my final semester. I had a whooping bill of 150,000 naira. I sold my phone, did cleaning jobs, to try meet up and got a total of 57000 naira, (with money mum raised). I was happy. Kept cleaning but there were fewer jobs and I was fast approaching the deadline. So I started to solicit for funds on social media. No help was forthcoming.
Then a certain married man who was interested in me 3 years back sent a message to me. I had refused his advances in the past, rudely, telling him I dont date married men. He was interested in news about my dad, expressed his condolences and asked to see me. I knew it was a temptation, I just knew.
You see, that day was a Saturday, deadline for fees was wednesday. So I went to see him and told him of my worries. He promised to help with the remaining fee. I, however, had to pay a price. He was still interested in me. I left that day telling myself I would rather be a drop out, but then I remembered my dad selling his car and the plenty sacrifices my mum went through to see me through school. So I went back on a Monday and I slept with him.
I have not been able to forgive myself and he still didn’t give me the money because he didn’t enjoy my behaviour. He said I acted like he raped me. So I am officially out of school, but that is the least of my worries. I am depressed and unable to eat or talk, in a sudden catatonic state. I have no friends and no boyfriend and my mum, who is my best friend, I can’t tell. So I am sharing this burden with you, in hopes that I will feel light.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Andrii Kobryn