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Nkem Says: The Perfect Man May Not be Perfect for Me

Nkem Ndem

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“Nkem, I have found the perfect man for you!” Of course, you can imagine the excitement that surged through my veins the moment one of my close friends sent me a message with those very words. Having been without a man for some time now, I have had everyone –family, friends, colleagues- try to hook me up with some man they thought would be perfect or ideal for me. In fact, during an interview with some presenters for BBC, my sister actually asked the interviewer to take me out on a date… since he too was single.

While I have never been remotely interested or excited about most of the people introduced to me, I was particularly excited about this one though. I felt the friend, who planned to introduce us, was one of the few who knew me well enough to actually tell when someone could be perfect for me.

Sure, send him my number. He can contact me.” I said. I have never been one to hit up a guy or make the first move -even if it was a do-or-die situation, so I didn’t expect it would be a problem. “Nkem, this guy is different. You have to come out of your comfort zone for this one. None of that your woo-me-to-get-me MO please. I believe he has a thing for confident women and I think you hitting him up will let him see that you are one and will spark things up”. In my mind, I was already saying “Hell, No!” I mean, I don’t need to make the first move to show that I am confident. Besides, what kind of man would want a woman to make the first move on him anyway? It all reeked of “fuckboyry” and as I opened my mouth to counter her suggestion, a voice in my head halted me saying: Why not try something different, you never know…what is the worst that could happen?

Sure, I took the guy’s number…but it took me 2 whole days to convince myself I was not being a fool. Finally, I took out my phone and typed: Hi. So…my friend tells me you are the perfect man for me.

He did not take long to reply and before I could say ‘Jack Robinson’, we were on a good flow.

After about a week of texting and chatting every day, we agreed to meet up for lunch. He was more handsome than his photos; his breath was fresh; he was well-dressed and he wore a really nice perfume. He also seemed charming, smart, confident, smooth, successful, fit and well… perfect in every way. He was the ideal man… he had everything a girl could possibly check off her fantasy wish list. I was very well impressed.

Over the next 6 weeks, we got closer. He had jokes (though they were mostly dry humour), he would call me at least 4 times a day, invite me out on great dates, listen attentively … he always did what I asked of him – even when he didn’t necessarily have the time or the resources. Even more, there was no drama, he never upset me. He seemed to know to say the right thing at all times or concede to keep me “happy”. The effort and struggle to be the perfect man was quite evident. Now, an outside observer would think I was on the path to forming a long lasting, deep connection with him… but at some point, I became bored and cynical. It was a mix of not wanting to deal with that level of perfection, and not being able to relate to him really.

No one can relate to “perfect” because as humans, that is not what we are. Being human means being flawed, impulsive and emotional… and when things are perfect, they become devoid of these things. In the course of being perfect, he had become a people-pleaser…the kind of guy who lived his life for the sake of other people, making sure that everyone always has the best opinion of him. He made sure that he never made the wrong move… and that was utterly unattractive and boring.

Again, it occurred to me that my suspicion of him being a “f*ckboy” was probably true after all. He was a different kind of f*ckboy…the kind who went after women confident (desperate) enough to reach out to them as they are the only ones that can swallow their “perfect man” act without any cynicism. They do not have a sense of self, but would be whatever they thought the woman perceived as the perfect man to get them(the women) to be with him. The thing about these “perfect” f*ckboys though is that, they eventually become the caricature of a man that no normal or grown woman can truly relate to or understand in the long run. No one woman/girl wants a man who likes every single thing they like, and agrees with them on everything, and never challenges them in any way. It just is unrealistic and tedious. It has nothing to do with girls not wanting “nice guys” either.

The concept of the ideal or perfect man is great, but in the end, a girl does not want a man who sets unrealistic standards. She just wants a normal guy: someone who is unique, spontaneous, has a little mystery and maintains qualities and values that he does not compromise for anyone. Yes?

Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for copywriting, editing and proofreading. She is also a content creator (web, T.V, radio) who has had stints with Jumia and SpiceTV Africa e.t.c. Now she works at Glam Africa as Online editor and BellaNaija as Features writer. E-mail: [email protected]; IG: @kem_dem; Twitter: @ndemv

63 Comments

  1. bitumen

    July 22, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    Interesting point of view but most of these things are relatively. There’s no almighty formula when it comes to matters of the heart. This is further evident in your definition of normal in the last sentence;I think most of us would have different definitions of what we consider as normal. That being said, this article is bad business for the so called f%%k boys who will do everything and turn to Mr perfect just to “Mark register”. You will be shocked the extent some guys go to get some .

    • bitumen

      July 22, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      Relative not relatively.

    • Grey

      July 22, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      The smart one would create artificial flaws, for the flaws brings the perfection. A woman/girl likes to see they can change their man or influence the man. A perfect scam must be flawed to be perfect

  2. bitumen

    July 22, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    Relative not relatively.

  3. Ada

    July 22, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    I’m really confused here. A man makes effort, he is a fuck boy. He doesn’t, he is a normal guy. This is the most confusing article from you. Why not have an independent third party look at your article before sending for posting cause I can’t believe that a man who makes an effort is a fuck boy. A person might have dated terrible men that a good man may seem alien to her. That’s understandable. And that’s what this article reeks of.

    • Muyiwa

      September 11, 2017 at 6:25 pm

      I’m with you on this

  4. Kanni

    July 22, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Another one of these stories sha.

    • Shizzle

      July 22, 2017 at 11:09 pm

      Another one you took the time to read.

  5. Alterego

    July 22, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    I met someone 3 weeks ago.
    Got talking and I said to myself: this one seems different. He was smart, good looking and very intelligent. He got my jokes. Made me look like a learner when I toyed with sarcasm and dry humor. We lived in different parts of the world so we mostly communicated via email, chats and so. Boy was fine too. Tall, dark, bearded and dimpled. One in each cheek! Told me initially that he was very sexual. I didn’t wanna go that way so didn’t ask what he meant. Did it mean he preferred swinging from the chandelier? He liked it with goats? He wanted it 50 times a day? He was hung like a stallion on steroids? I ignored that statement but we got on like a house on fire.
    One day, he asked me to describe a typical day with my man. I was busy blowing grammar talking about making breakfast together, croissants and coffee, on the sofa watching a movie…regular stuff. Bobo said no na, he meant in a sexual way. My alarm button went off. Another time, he asked what I was wearing to bed. Innocently, I said jammies. Uncle flipped o. Said I should let my hair down and be sexy for once and respond in a sensual way. Was I supposed to deepen my voice and speak with a sexy ,husky drawl and say: jaaaamies? See me fa trouble. I should be doing sexy? When we aren’t dating, when we haven’t defined what we’ve got, when I haven’t even seen you, we should slide into sexting? I realised that this thing wouldn’t work.

    Anyways, he seemed perfect on paper. And he was yoruba. My very first yoruba attempt. Such a f*ckboy.
    Eyaa.

    • Californiabawlar

      July 22, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      ?

    • Mr Man

      July 22, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      …and @Alterego is back! Yay! You have been missing in action. Kept coming to BN to see if any latest comments came from you. but nada. You seem smart and funny. Chuckled while I read through your witty write-up. A good man will come your way soon. Apologies on behalf of that dude. I’m Yoruba too but definitely not a f*ckboy.

    • marvel

      July 22, 2017 at 10:15 pm

      oh boy!!! alterego ehnn… this is the funniest comment ever!!! especially the way you said ‘jaaaamiesss’… super funny…

    • le coco

      July 23, 2017 at 5:07 am

      I actually read the “jaamies” with a deep voice hahaha

    • Queen

      July 23, 2017 at 8:53 pm

      My dear, there is this guy I just blocked too. He started with wanting me to come visit him, then night wears then lingerie even when what we were discussing has absolutely nothing to do with those things. He didn’t even ask me out o, I just labeled him bad market and blocked his du*b a**

  6. Anonymous

    July 22, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    What does a woman want?

    • Alterego

      July 24, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      What does a man want?

  7. ***

    July 22, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Okay this article floored me completely
    What truly defines a man worthy of forever? Can anybody please help out?

  8. bey

    July 22, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    The poster of this story is confused.
    And I’m sorry to say, your single days are far from over.
    What happened to not over-thinking things and just letting things flow. There is no one single recipe for love. You are not ready for love or a relationship, not to talk of marriage.
    Someone treats a woman well………He is too nice and he’s a fuckboy. Okkkkk
    .

    • Mmesoma

      July 22, 2017 at 7:41 pm

      i just wonder ..this mindset is sometimes got from listening to to many online opinions and trying to act them out…if you don’t like a guy ..fine ..look for the one you like and stop unfairly giving him a derogatory title ..its not by force ..he will find his queen also

    • BlueEyed

      July 23, 2017 at 4:17 am

      I agree with you and I see where nkem is coming from also , I got out of a bad relationship with an egocentric man who behaved like he was the alpha and I should thank God that he deemed me worthy for his love (good guy if you’re into that sorta thing) but not the one for me. I left him quicker than I could spell my name. I moved on feeling quite let down with the whole love and relationship saga but just only after a few months I met this same kinda man nkem just described, lived abroad perfect on paper, intelligent, fit, successful, better looking than his photos (he always tried to downplay himself and not over sell). We also never fought, always knew the right things to say, the right time to concede, always knew how to make me happy (seemingly effortlessly). Just like Nkem I had initial doubts coming from the fuck boy I had just dated (proper douchebag with money to throw and a terrible attitude) but I didn’t write this new guy off, I too decided to beat him at his own game and act so perfect, turns out it was really who he was and he wasn’t faking it, dude was just a really great guy, not saying he didn’t have flaws, I just needed to be patient enough for him to reveal his layers and down the line we’re still together and he’s still as perfect as day one (only more perfect for me)

  9. king bey

    July 22, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    @ Alter ego lemme laugh kikikkikikikkikimikikkikiki..some men are pervert sha,una never even start sef ,they are already talking sex…kikikikikikikiki

  10. Hmmn...

    July 22, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    Nkem, I’m a fan of your work but this your perspective get k-leg! Like “bitumen” said in his/her comment, there is no magic formula for love. Relationships are multi-dimensional. I’d rather have a man who aims to please than one who doesn’t. Because I know with time, things will ebb and flow and I may be the one trying to please him as well. Besides, if we are truly compatible, we should aim to outdo each other with pleasing acts. For the record, “normal” is overrated. Been there done that. Be careful what you ask for.

  11. Papacy

    July 22, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    I’m reading this and thinking…what’s a man to frigging do? Please whoever is going through this kind of self inflicted mental torture, deliverance fall on you. Amen.

    • Alterego

      July 22, 2017 at 8:01 pm

      Amen!

  12. barrister lawyer

    July 22, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    What do women want?

    • Alterego

      July 22, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      Oh, I want a considerate man. It is easy to overlook that quality. It is way underrated. Until I met someone who was crass, coarse, and insensitive. I had to run to include ‘considerate’ in my vocabulary. Someone intuitive. Smart as a whip. Sensible. Someone with ambition and goals with loads of personality and individuality. Wouldn’t hurt if he was easy on the eye. Nah, if wouldn’t hurt at all. ?. Now, this might not work for other women, but it would work for me. Simple stuff.
      You can see that I didn’t mention bearded, 6ft, dimpled, wealthy, obsessed about me, speaks 5 international languages, knowledgeable about art…. ?

  13. Meee

    July 22, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    Oh common!!! Nkem has a very valid point. It’s not about him being nice but always wanting to go over and beyond to please in words and gestures. It’s not just in dudes but ladies as well. No one wants a friend/girl or boy friend who seems ‘perfect’ i.e always trying to please the other person to their own detriment and never ever having contrary opinions. I was that person once. A people pleaser, I never knew how to say no and I always agreed to whatever people were saying. The result? People either used me or got bored with me very fast. Someone later pointed it out to me that I need to be myself be an individual with unique opinions because you can never ever please people totally and those people you want to please would become suspicious of your intentions or just use you for rubbish. I worked on myself and became better for it. So I can totally relate to what Nkem is talking about.

  14. old soul

    July 22, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Okay Alter Ego, I totally get your point but is it weird tho that I kinda dig that guy you described, lol.
    Am a Freak!!, I know.
    PS: Nkem, you sha is confused, since you don’t want the nigga, hit my bio and gimme the number. Bless you sister.
    #flipshair&catwalksout……

  15. MP3

    July 22, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    A lady I recently met told me she prefers a bad boy. A very bad boy. We had met in church and I have been a true gentleman. We’ve kept friendship going for 6 weeks over the phone and have asked for date twice, she cancelled on both occasions. She text every morning & video call sometimes at night time. She kept hinting me she wants a bad boy. I did everything a gentleman has to do to show genuine interest, yet she placed me on a “waiting list” with her manipulative game. At week 7, I opted out. Now reading this article, I think a gentleman in her head, just as that of the writer, is a fuckboy. I may seem perfect but sorry, I’m not a fuckboy.

    • LemmeRant

      July 22, 2017 at 10:03 pm

      You’re actually taking this girl seriously. Guy you’re falling hand o.

      I even used to bother with her articles. Now I don’t stress myself to comment. The babe is confused. A vast majority of women are confused. Even the one up there describing the kind of man she wants – I can bet she’s also confused, she doesn’t just know it yet.

      What’s funny to me is when babes like this Nkem get older and start talking about by they’ve not been able to find a man, they won’t tell you that they were judging nice guys as f**cbois o. They won’t tell you how they were walking around believing the world revolves around them, all they’ll say is that all men at scum, men are bad, men are this, men are that.
      Don’t just let them confuse you. That’s my own.

    • Ephi

      July 22, 2017 at 10:10 pm

      Haba! A vast majority of women are confused? ?
      Sexist much.

    • Alterego

      July 22, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      @MP3. I’m trying to get into her head here. The lady that is. Searching through my archives, I think I kinda get what she meant. I was introduced to someone sometime ago. He was a pastor in training. Very good and churcheous, but extra. One day I casually asked if he lived closed to one supermarket cos I had been seeing him there. Dude said it wasn’t right for a lady to know where a man lived so be was sorry he couldn’t tell me. We met for a couple of dates in a restaurant. I spent the majority of my time there nodding my head and moving salad across my plate, looking at the wall and thinking of interesting conversation topics. Interesting but inoffensive. Politically correct stuff. Boredom doesn’t begin to describe it.
      So, maybe she doesn’t want a bad boy per se. Just a savvy dude who has been there, done that and is retired. Someone wey sabi.
      I’m response to your question, do I even have a celebrity crush? ?. It used to be Blossom Chukwujekwu. Now, it’s the Airtel ad dude (Afolayin, I guess). Mr Eazi or Adekunle Gold for their relaxed, alternative personalities.

    • Fabulous

      July 22, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      Dude let’s meet up

    • Mp4

      July 22, 2017 at 11:30 pm

      @Alterego what you described is confusing, you either want a bad guy or you don’t. Nothing like I want a retired bad good guy. What does that even mean?

    • Strauss9ja

      July 23, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      @Ephi.
      If a comment comes up saying majority of men just want sex and nothing else to offer and they don’t know what they want in a woman, you will be here to say ‘yasssssss’. It comes to women now it’s sexist, there isn’t one sexist thing about what lemmerant said.

      As for the lady that wants bad boys. Tell her one day that if you date her, both of you won’t last so you are letting go. If she asks why, tell her you like big boobs on a woman (if she has big one, tell her you like small ones). It sounds explicit I know but I swear you will turn something on in her since your convo is already far gone. Do not apologize after saying this because she’ll bring up body shaming talk blah blah….don’t apologize. If she says she wants a big erhm in a man (they always do this to get back at you), tell her you got what she wants but she doesn’t have what you want so you guys should just be friends. She’ll make a very good friend and tell her how smart you think she is and all but don’t complement her beauty. The smarter and more educated she is, the more this will work on her.

    • Nadine

      August 17, 2017 at 9:33 am

      Hello lover!

  16. Beezer

    July 22, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    Nkem, I usually like your articles but this one I don’t get. What do you really want from men? A man does not make an effort, problem, he makes one, a bigger problem.

    There is really no pleasing you. My own is please don’t mislead young girls with all these your confused and man-hating articles.

    There are good men out there just like there are bad men. I don’t know what experience you’ve had that makes you think this way but you need to work on your mindset.

    May God help you!

    #saynotomenbashing #goodmenexist #goodwomenexist #beopen #trustGod #imperfectperfectmen

  17. Alterego

    July 22, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Oh, I want a considerate man. It is easy to overlook that quality. It is way underrated. Until I met someone who was crass, coarse, and insensitive. I had to run to include ‘considerate’ in my vocabulary. Someone intuitive. Smart as a whip. Sensible. Someone with ambition and goals with loads of personality and individuality. Wouldn’t hurt if he was easy on the eye. Nah, if wouldn’t hurt at all. ?. Now, this might not work for other women, but it would work for me. Simple stuff.
    You can see that I didn’t mention bearded, 6ft, dimpled, wealthy, obsessed about me, speaks 5 international languages, knowledgeable about art…. ?

    • Alterego

      July 22, 2017 at 9:33 pm

      This is in response to Barrister lawyer. Forgot to tag you.

    • MP3

      July 22, 2017 at 10:01 pm

      Where do you live Alterego? Maybe there is love on the menu? You’ve described me, so curious to know who’s your celebrity crush. Mine is Bolanle Olukanni, And I’m a looklike of Joseph Benjamin. Is it nay or yah haha? Please reply, don’t keep a brother waiting lol

    • marvel

      July 22, 2017 at 10:29 pm

      am tempted to ask…
      what qualities will you offer?

    • le coco

      July 23, 2017 at 5:15 am

      alter ego and Mp3.. awwwwww.. You guys should meet up. … A BN wedding needs to happen

  18. john

    July 22, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    For staters ..this low self esteem girl Nkem is gradually coming out of her closet ..no more my best friend or cousin insuniations.. ..even though I still doubt that man working in bbc will toast her ( maybe in her dreams , just look at her pic above) but anyways, so,a nice man who aim to treat and respect his woman is a fuckboy and people get angry when I say women have fish brains…atleast this shows their low mentality…even though honestly, I think the poor dude had a lucky escape( if he is even real and not some made up character to garnish her delusions)..women like nkem with personal issues masked as feminism can send a man to an early grave anyway…this reminds of when My lecturer told us something during lectures…something made him deviated. He said, NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DESTINEd TO MARRY. He further said that, some women knows that no man can marry them. so they are out to destroy other people’s lives…looking back ..so true..

  19. Miss dd

    July 22, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    A woman can sense an act. A people pleaser can never stand for anything, very unattractive & quite innapropriate for a man. Thats an inconfident & insecure man. You don’t want to end up being trapped wt such a man, cos when the chase is over, the mask comes off & You never know what you’d find.

    • Dama

      July 22, 2017 at 11:37 pm

      Nope there are genuinely kind hearted people, who seek to treat everyone with respect. They also can stand for something.

  20. Sammie

    July 22, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    @Miss dd. Why do u pass your opinions as fact? Isnt a relationship reciprocal? If he denies himself to make u happy is that a bad thing? Shouldnt u do the same if u really love him? Isnt that what love is all about?

    Who are you to set standards as to how a man should act and behave? If his personality does not agree wit yours why not politely leave? We can’t all be the same. Some of the greatest inventors were weird and obnoxious people. Arent relationships meant to complement each other, surely he might have positives u could complement him with. Why are you in a relationship only from a selfish perspective?

    I think all these problems stem from poverty. Why do naija girls fantasize about marriages? Dont u have anything else better to do with ur time? All the girls i date i see this narrow minded perspective. I might follow the Mikel Obi route..

  21. Fabulous

    July 22, 2017 at 11:29 pm

    I’m just here wondering how the guy you have described in this article would feel if he reads this

  22. Ope

    July 22, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    @mr John, the lady is BEAUTIFUL! Weather lo ro obirin

  23. Alterego

    July 23, 2017 at 12:08 am

    @MP3, it’s a hmmmm. ?

  24. Sammie

    July 23, 2017 at 9:31 am

    Nkem Ndem are you professionally certified to give love advice? If not, you should issue a disclaimer stating that your articles are your opinions based on your experiences. Bella Naija, you want to be on the right side of the law on this one.

    Bella Naija used to be a safe space for intellectuals to discuss topical issues that challenge us and make us better people. What is happening?

    Bella Naija, If you want to give advice about men it is only fair that a man gives his perspective as well.

    • Smh

      July 23, 2017 at 5:57 pm

      Lol @sammie your comment just shows you are not just bitter but you also have a low IQ. Which one is “right side of the law on this one”? What do you know? 1. The title of this article alone suggests that this is an opinion article based on Nkem’s experience. And her column is even tagged “Nkem Says”…so..no need for a disclaimer. 2. How many people in Nigeria who give love advice are certified. Have you queried any of them or is it just Nkem you want to troll because you are bitter and you feel you can attack her here? 3. There are so many other articles on BN…Nkem’s articles though consistent do not even make 1/5 of the posts. You can go and read and comment on the ones you consider “topical issues that challange us and make us better people” . There are plenty on the blog. You can jump and pass this one and allow those of us who enjoy and actually learn from it to remain here. 4. If you want BN to give you a job simply say so, dont play the victim by saying “it is only fair that a man gives his perspective as well”. I doubt any man has written and BN did not publish the article. Kmt.

    • Patty boo

      July 24, 2017 at 12:48 am

      Then a man or men shld write and you can start the movement by writing first.

  25. baby geh sipping tea

    July 23, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    Hello Nkem,
    I’m rooting for you. I read your articles and while I do not always agree with what you write, I commend your effort and peserverance even in the face of clear bullying. There is room for improvement and as you write constantly you’ll improve, practice makes perfect so continue!

    Our points of view often differ because we are different people. Our world view also differs, that’s infact what makes the world interesting, online forums inclusive. If you’ve gotten to the point where you do not like Nkem’s writing style, her point of view or her stories, that’s fine and its totally acceptable not to open the post to read. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is also always welcome as it helps everyone improve in their areas of endeavour. HOWEVER ,there is a thin line between constructive criticism done in good faith and bullying. What some of you do in response to Nkem’s articles is grossly impolite and outright bullying.SHAME ON YOU! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ HER ARTICLES, IT IS NOT COMPULSORY! if you cannot criticise constructively, keep it moving – as simple as A..B..C…

    Finally, Nkem I am rooting for you. As someone who understands the intricacies of settling into a new role, a new job, new demands, new repsonsibilities (most sensible humans do) I assure you that it does get better. Take the constructive criticisms but don’t take them personally. Write, write, write and improve your art! Best wishes with writing and improving….and yes, I’ll be in a corner rooting for you!

  26. Truth-be-told

    July 23, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Nkem is entitled to her opinion of the ideal guy she wants in her life. Two things, he was just too good to be true compared to other jerks she had dated and this scared her off, or they were just not meant for each other. Either ways, there are guys who are quick to please everyone but themselves. Not a very good trait. If we must comment at all, we can then go on to advise her to give the relationship a try. And see if that works for her. The time they have spent together may be too short to find out his true character; instead of bashing her. In the end, it’s what ever rocks her boat.

  27. Jane

    July 23, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    What did I just read? You met a guy that was nice, eager to please you and moved his schedules to be with you and you tagged him a fuckboy? You might not like him but he tried his best to please you and that brings me to a conclusion, you need to drop this finding your perfect/ ideal guy agenda. Go out have fun and fall in love, now he might not be tall and that handsome or fit but he might be the one that makes you tick. Think about it dear, But if you want that perfect/ideal dude.. you have to stick to a guy that wants to please everyone forever. Who is without flaws, are you?
    Am so happy with the comments I read ,I thought everyone would support this hogwash, as BNers sometimes like to fake.

  28. truetalk

    July 23, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    @mp3, biko hit me up on my bio lets get kicking….

    • gboko-gboko

      July 23, 2017 at 11:16 pm

      Husband snatcher…. he’s only interested in alter ego.

    • aj

      July 23, 2017 at 11:30 pm

      lol it is not you he wants na alterego!

  29. Truth-be-told

    July 23, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    LOL @aj. If mp3’s character is just as Alterego has described, who doesn’t like better thing?

  30. Patty boo

    July 24, 2017 at 12:47 am

    Amen… ?

  31. Dworldsgreatest

    July 24, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    I see where Nkem is coming from. it might be relative but it is true. If it feels too good to be true, i assure you, its mostly too good to be true. I dated one guy too briefly who seemed perfect, a little too perfect infact. He did everything and their brother right. My instincts screamed loudly but i tamped them down waiting for evidence. In less than four months, yawa gas, breeze blow, fowl yansh open. Omo boy had a wifey and two kids in lagos. no person is entlrely drama free. Dont photoshop your life for me please. Perfection, no thank you. I’ve learnt that it is not love until i can point your flaws and still love you in spite of them.

  32. Shee'ra

    August 1, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Easy to comment on the situation if you did not experience it!

  33. Uzoamaka

    August 10, 2017 at 5:48 am

    Nkem Nkem Nkem,
    I’m rooting for you. I read your articles and your peserverance even in the face of cyber bullying is commendable. There is room for improvement so don’t stop.

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