Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.
We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.
Dear BNers, I need your help. I’m slowly becoming a hater and I don’t know what to do about it.
I have a friend (we’ve been friends for 5 years). At the beginning of our friendship, you would say she was a bimbo; I’m talking real life bimbo, eye lashes fluttering, long nails, etc and she slept around a bit too. I started talking to her because I was fascinated by her, I was coming in contact with a real life bimbo. I, on the other hand, you could describe as a Jennifer Aniston at that time: playful, sarcastic, down to earth. We both attracted masculine attention for different reasons: hers for just sex, mine for friendship/long term relationships.
Over time, we evolved; I into some kind of Olivia Pope and she into Kim Kardashian and the friendship was still good; she attracted her guys (the Kanye types), I attracted the men who were leaders. We were different and distinct.
The challenge now is that this girl started an affair and the man began to school her on the difference between trashy and classy and she became a fast learner. I was happy for her, because I thought, finally…. but alas, it was not to be.
I evolved too into some kind of Marilyn Munroe and she too is evolving into that and for once I can’t stand her. She now has goals, dreams, etc and she is no longer a bimbo. When people compliment her confidence and grace, I want to scream ‘she is a bimbo, a walking, real life bimbo’ but I don’t.
She, on the other hand, loves me to death, she celebrates all my achievements. There was a day someone commented on how we could pass for twins, because even though we don’t look alike, we had the same aura. I wanted to respond by saying ‘oh please, this bimbo and I?’ but she spoke 1st saying ‘We have come a long way, I have learnt so much from her and I love her. We complement each other positively’. BNers, I felt ashamed.
I have no reason to be jealous of her at all, I am extremely more successful than she is; I have an accelerated career, business on the side and I’m engaged to an alpha male yet she is happy for me. She has never been ambitious ( I mean, she was a runs girl) but she is always happy for me.
I didn’t tell her when I started my business but when she found out, she promoted it everywhere. I’m in a loving relationship, yet I’m happy when a date doesn’t go well for her. Her growth annoys me and I wish she had stayed the bimbo that she was.
I’ve blocked her on Instagram, cut her off my life, yet I hate her and secretly wish something bad happens to her. Please advise me on what to do, I’m a hater and I don’t want to be this person.
Photo Credit: Сергей Толмачев | Dreamstime