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Designer Olamide Agunloye of Iconola opens up about her Experience with Domestic Violence in Emotional “Dang Monologues” Episode | Watch on BN TV

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Is it a truism to say that talk is cheap? Because no matter how cliche it sounds, it remains true: it’s way easier to say things that to put them to action.

Olamide Agunloye of Iconola shared her story, how she stayed in an abusive marriage for 7 years.

One thing about her story nags: how before her marriage she was one who advocated, passionately, against domestic violence. How she’d say If he touches me just once I’m leaving him. How all that became history after he beat her the first time after he continued to beat her, how she became a different person.

It’s a horrifying story. It’s truly horrifying. She comes much too close to death too many times. As these things go, the beating gets intense every new time he beats her. The quantity and quality, if that word qualifies, intensifies. It truly is a horrifying story.

Watch her share her story below, on Dang Networks and we hope it’s exactly what those living in similar conditions need to make the decision to get out of it. Because no one’s ego, no one’s pride, no one’s reputation is worth your pain.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

87 Comments

  1. anon

    November 8, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    Source?! Credit your source!!!

    • Lilo

      November 9, 2018 at 2:04 pm

      Finally watched the clips. With women ‘s intuition, we know a lot of things even before anyone tells us. But societal pressure to be married and fear of loneliness often times render us helpless to the point of justifying our irrational choices. I remember while on a 2nd date with this bastard (yeah I’m still angry I ever met him) who randomly hands me his car phone charger (ladies and gentlemen, my battery wasn’t low nor did I ask to charge my phone) and said here charge your phone. I said thanks, but my battery has some juice In it. He replies “but yeah, I’m saying just charge it”. Then I started laughing like no. It’s ok but thanks. He goes so you are like that. I asked like what? He says you are the type of girl that doesn’t do what her man tells you to do. That statement alone was the single assurance I had a sociopath on my hands. This is the controlling guy that won’t even deny that as a man he is in charge. He owned the fact that, he will dominate his woman and she has to submit. I was like are you joking. He said no. And there the argument ensued. 2nd date pere and I was seeing an epic form of madness and imminent violence right in front of me.

      I thought I was in a poorly scripted Tyler perry movie. I’m telling you folks that some of these stories we see/hear may seem far fetched until it happens to you and you are like “holy crap you mean someone will marry this vagabond “? Even worse is that some of your social media perfect couples are living this sort of madness day in, day out.

      Olamide- I believe you from kpali to kpali. I know some women are violent however I can only speak to guys(never dated a woman) and affirm that there are organically crazy men out there who will get violent when they can’t control you.

      1
    • Enitan

      April 26, 2019 at 10:11 am

      Hello all.

      Has it occurred to any of you here that this girl May be doing a hatchet job? (A distortion of a turbulent marriage and troubled relationship between 2 people and in no way near any of the wickedness from the husband as described by the girl? As such, a deliberate attempt to destroy a guy and advance her own promotion as a victim?).

      Please guys, know that there are two sides to this. One has told stories about almost a demented other half. But I am pressed to say that if this guy was or is so bad, how come he has been more or less raising their 3 beautiful sons singlehandedly?

      Guys….please…note my word…there is a venom in this girl hidden to those who are fooled by her beautiful seemingly grieved face.

      When I see distortions like this, it pains me because it belittles the authenticity of true and valid abuse,

      Warning Olamide – God is watching. He is the Ultimate Judge. He will judge.

      1
  2. word

    November 8, 2018 at 9:53 pm

    If i comment what is on my mind now, BN will swallow it. So use Google to figure out who the monster is, etc. Thank God Olamide came out alive. Parents need to focus on raising male children better.

    • Anon

      November 8, 2018 at 10:22 pm

      Mind reader.

      BN, you know who she married right? Her ex-husband’s sister is one of your favourites. You “stan” for her big time.

      I had previously asked elsewhere, where was her Dad when she was going through all the abuse? He’s a tough guy – top P.C member like his mentor, our own Nobel Laureate.

    • Anon

      November 8, 2018 at 10:23 pm

      Keep on moderating.

    • lpp

      November 9, 2018 at 7:48 pm

      Not my fave. All these church pastors are something else… I’ll just leave it as that.

    • Vivienne

      November 12, 2018 at 1:49 pm

      But what is your point in referencing his sister? Why visit his own “sins” on his sister or other family members??

    • Agbeke

      November 16, 2018 at 4:13 pm

      but what has the guy’s sister have to do with it now?

    • Ibi

      November 21, 2018 at 6:03 pm

      Some. Google it.

    • abby

      November 10, 2018 at 5:17 am

      The guy appears to be mentally ill in addition to being a wife abuser or, maybe drugs. He wiped his b*tt on her after…. The shameful thing is that Ibidun was part of the great injustice against her. Separated her from her children for years. Ibidun cannot say she does not know her brother is a weyrey. She needs to apologize to this lady.

    • DLP

      November 10, 2018 at 7:00 am

      Exactly what i did too,went to Google.

  3. Ohbaby

    November 8, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    Ladiessssss please eductate yourselves ! We have daughters who are watching. Stop ignoring signsssss if you watch NPD narcissistic personality disorder videos online you will be shocked to find that you are living with a crazy human being. Please self awareness is sooooooo important, know thyself, trust your gut! The first instance you have to question a person’s character is a sign to bolt!!!! These people do not change, it is not your job to save a sociopath. Save yourself before you think of saving someone. I have just ended a relationship where i questioned my sanity. I couldn’t believe i was becoming a shadow of myself. Everything was always my fault, if you confront him he will say you are a coward. You cant laugh too much or make jokes, if i painted my nail a certain colour he will say why didnt i paint it another colour ha! the list is endlesss, i ran for my dear life after i googled and found out i was dealing with a crazy fellow. Ladies please stay informed to avoid years of abuse and torment . BN PLEASE POST MY COMMENT

    1
  4. up

    November 8, 2018 at 10:19 pm

    Hmm. Two sides to every story. Heard she was notorious in Abuja while the cat was away.. We thank God ALL parties are alive today to speak.

    • Nnenna

      November 8, 2018 at 11:32 pm

      So that warrants abuse? You are obtuse.

      1
    • adeanon

      November 8, 2018 at 11:35 pm

      Three sides actually

      But to the side you purport to know-And even if she was shagging everyone she deserves to be beaten every day abi?

      1
    • Sky Blu

      November 8, 2018 at 11:39 pm

      What other side of the story exactly is there to hear? I don’t understand how someone being “notorious” justifies another putting their hands on them. Smh.

      1
    • No excuses

      November 8, 2018 at 11:50 pm

      That does not justify domestic violence and abuse on his part.
      He could have walked away from the marriage without abusing her for almost 7 years!!!

      1
    • No excuses

      November 8, 2018 at 11:51 pm

      @up
      That does not justify domestic violence and abuse on his part.
      He could have walked away from the marriage without abusing her for almost 7 years!!!

      1
    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      November 8, 2018 at 11:59 pm

      So he’s allowed to kill her, for that reason? Just do away with human life, okwa ya, because he’s become her one true God, Alpha and Omega and bestower of her life?

      1
    • Dami

      November 9, 2018 at 12:03 am

      And as such deserved being killed! Haha!
      Olamide….thank God for your victory. You are truly blessed

      1
    • anon

      November 9, 2018 at 12:25 am

      meaning she deserved it? are u sick???

      1
    • Abi

      November 9, 2018 at 12:57 am

      Notorious or not, violence is wrong.

      1
    • word

      November 9, 2018 at 1:22 am

      Oh please! NOTHING should make him batter her like this. NOTHING!!!
      He should have dissolved the marriage. She might have had her faults, but that does not negate the obvious fact that the guy was a narcissistic monster. Period!

      1
    • baby4u2

      November 9, 2018 at 1:44 am

      She was notorious meaning, she cheats. So he should kill her abi. An animal, we are taking about who belongs on the wild. Nonsense.

      Thank for your help honey. I grew up in this type of household and swore to kill a man that will do this to me. God gave me a calm man, so I have piece at home.

      If you are going through this, anyone, leave now. There is no shame in the grave if you are still feeling that you will be a disgrace to so called society.

      Lord help us all.

      1
    • A

      November 9, 2018 at 3:21 am

      @up, have you wondered why abusive spouses and their defenders always come up with the “she is sleeping around, she is known about town” story? Even if she slept with all her neighbors and their daddies, did it warrant such abuse???

      1
    • browngirl

      November 9, 2018 at 5:07 am

      Up please. Once violence is involved, unless it was violence on both sides then the other side of the story is not important. There is nothing for which the response should be violence!!! If someone was notorious, as you put it, leave biko.

      1
    • Candy

      November 9, 2018 at 5:51 am

      Let her ex-husband come out and speak for himself, let’s all know who is telling the truth… I believe every word Lamide said. Be sides we are talking about domestic violence here, no one has a right to hit anyone for any reason and everyone has a right to live their lives the way they want…

      1
    • are you serious?

      November 9, 2018 at 6:03 am

      Does that warrant domestic abuse?

      1
    • Boo

      November 9, 2018 at 7:13 am

      YOU ARE A VERY BIG FOOL! so if she was sleeping with all the men in Abuja does that give the man the right to almoat take her life. If you are a woman, i hope a man you trust beats you like he did her. Idiot!

    • MIA

      November 9, 2018 at 7:15 am

      Doesn’t justify beating her. If we do that most Nigeria men would be dead because them are cheating are like 5 and 5.01.

      1
    • Oma

      November 9, 2018 at 7:50 am

      Biko, she was “notorious” is NEVER an excuse to beat her. What happened to walking away?

      1
    • Bose

      November 9, 2018 at 8:20 am

      So, let’s assume you’re right and she was sleeping around. Let’s even assume she was sleeping with a member of his family, which would be deplorable. Are you implying that justifies his laying a hand on her? Isn’t the rational response to end the marriage? Please stop shaming women to justify men who are abusive and violent. It doesn’t work anymore.

      1
    • abby

      November 9, 2018 at 9:24 am

      She was notorious hence the beatings? It is never okay to hit people..whether they were ‘notorious’ or not what happened to ending it if you feel you cannot cope . Notorious indeed!

      1
    • Justmyopinion

      November 9, 2018 at 9:31 am

      @up…take a moment and think…if this were to be a guy sleeping with women around ,people will justify his attitude by blaming the wife…oh his wife was mean so she pushed the husband outside to be seeing other women.The guy was violent…This did not in any way equal to the woman hopping around.Maybe she was looking for a way to get out of the situation..Maybe she was not sleeping around…Who knows..I pray u or ur kids do not go through half of what she went tru…Know your truth!..I hope bellanaija posts this .

      1
    • Opeyemi Fowler

      November 9, 2018 at 10:01 am

      So she should be beaten up like a dog because of that? C’mon

      1
    • Bidsy

      November 9, 2018 at 11:28 am

      And that justifies being beaten? See why we still have abusers. And this your narrative is the usual narrative abusive partners spread out – they lie so convincingly.

    • Babbie

      November 9, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      Well, what you heard is wrong. This chick is one of the most respectable lady you can ever meet. Her pedigree, family background is impeccable. She indeed was married to a monster. I know their story.

      2
    • kole

      November 9, 2018 at 2:55 pm

      I see you have already been handled so I won’t join hand and flog you for you stupidity.

      1
    • Arinola

      November 10, 2018 at 5:04 pm

      Even if she is the most notorious woman..she should be killed for it abi? I don’t understand the way people think? Just walk away..simple! No one owns any human being. You are not God! Just walk away for petes sake! It’s because Nigeria is such a lawless country..try this in a developed country..the way your face will hit that jail cell eh! Your brain will reset..rubbish!!

      1
    • Serenity

      November 11, 2018 at 3:24 pm

      Even if she was notorious or worse case, prostituting does that give him the RIGHT to beat, lash, s**t on her, bite her nose, put her head down in bucket to drown her? Why can’t he send her packing jeje? Na wah o.

    • Ibi

      November 21, 2018 at 6:04 pm

      Then the cat should have divorced her not turn her to a punching bag. Lame excuse

      1
  5. adeanon

    November 8, 2018 at 11:10 pm

    This prob sounds so cliche, but when God promises beauty for ashes, he is TOO faithful to fail! Ithank God for your life Olamide.

    Did you hear her husband wiping himself on her after using the toilet? Not that the beatings were any better, but to want to degrade another human being -one you profess to love in this manner, ah! but God.

    Took me down some very dark memories,

    1
    • kole

      November 9, 2018 at 2:52 pm

      Yep. Being hit is terrible. But after enduring so much beating, my friend ended her marriage after her husband spat on her. Some things are inconceivably worse than being battered. And being battered is already as terrible as it gets.

      1
  6. Anon

    November 8, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    I think the guy had some un-diagnosed mental problems. He needs help with anger management and mental problems. We women see all the signs and go ahead and marry these monsters. The question now is as a mother of three boys, what are you doing to ensure that this cycle does not go into the next generation? Please make sure those 3 boys have positive male role models, and that from a young age, you teach them never ever to hit a woman. I cannot believe you endured 7 years of this hell, and came out on the other side. God will continue to help you as you heal from years of abuse and pain.

    1
  7. Bk

    November 8, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    So what? So that gives him the license to kill her or what are you saying. If he had a problem with whatever
    why didn’t he walk away. Mschewwe

    1
  8. AkaraBanana

    November 8, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    Olamide!!! While I was watching the video, I was carried away by your gorgeousness. I sympathize with you for the horrors that you struggled to escape.
    Your experience has given you the right to reach out to other women (young and old) in assisting them to escape domestic violence.
    It is amazing that you have laid down the burden and save yourself. I pray you succeed in mending your broken pieces through Christ.

  9. Emaka

    November 9, 2018 at 11:11 am

    I am sure the Mr Ajayi father is dead and also a great beater that use to beat wife. The wife likewise divorced him

  10. Negodu

    November 9, 2018 at 11:27 am

    I still can’t fathom how she stayed for 7 years and had 3 kids for such a man – in your shoes I’d be too traumatised to get intimate with such a person. My heart bleeds that someone loved and trusted could turn into a ‘were alaso’ . Glad you lived to tell this story and I hope someone out there learns from this.

    1
    • Judith

      November 19, 2018 at 10:22 pm

      May God forgive you all. The story is the other way round. Fear God people!
      I am a lady that knows this couple well.!!! Always two sides to a story.
      A good woman would not abandon her husband, and children at ages 3, 2 years old and few months old to cheat on her husband and travel around with sugar daddies and senators e.t.c.

  11. Anayaw

    November 9, 2018 at 11:43 am

    You don lose sense. Say that if she were your daughter, sister, aunt, mom or friend.

  12. Adizzle 4 Shizzle

    November 9, 2018 at 12:27 pm

    Unacceptable Mrs Ighodalo should not have kept the kids that were abducted by her brother. So disappointed in her.
    God Bless you Lamide. Thank God you left. Let him go and marry his sister!

    1
    • Nnechi Spicy.

      November 9, 2018 at 6:17 pm

      Wait, her children are not with her? ?

  13. Lilo

    November 9, 2018 at 1:38 pm

    Imagine if we deployed thugs to beat up every philandering married man in Lagos alone. We have have to fly some of them to Ghana and other neighboring countries cos hospitals and morgues in Nigeria will fill up fast and overflow. Mschewwwwwe radarada. So she cheats now she should be murdered. See what’s wrong with this obey your husband backward mentality?

    1
    • IMI

      November 9, 2018 at 7:10 pm

      Hahahahaha. Loud it so those on top can hear you.

      1
  14. kole

    November 9, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    You know if you look at Olamide and Ibidun, they could pass for sisters (complexion aside) I m talking about their facial features and mannerisms. Why is this relevant – psychopath and sociopaths tend to have a method to selecting their victims. Studies have shown that targets of abuse are never random. There is a sick and twisted appeal of their abusers to them. Their either remind them of someone they love, hate, wish they were, wish they were, etc. As I watched Olamide, I kept seeing her SIL.

    1
    • Bose

      November 9, 2018 at 5:26 pm

      I felt the exact same way when I was watching her speak! There must be layers to the psychological issues he’s dealing with.

      1
    • adeanon

      November 9, 2018 at 7:10 pm

      You are absolutely right. They even sound the same. There is definetely more to it,

    • Bussy

      November 11, 2018 at 5:50 pm

      I noticed the resemblance too. I am almost certain that the abuser’s dad treated his mom the same way. That might explain why Ibidun was said to be withdrawn in FGGC Oyo

      1
  15. Nike

    November 9, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    Lamide.waoh thanks for sharing.learnt one or two here.God bless you

    1
  16. Random

    November 9, 2018 at 10:26 pm

    It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like this. I hope she finds complete healing after this experience. Regardless of what the other side of the story is, nothing warrants such psychopathic treatment.
    He needs help. I hope this family will see this and do something instead of lingering in denial. He really needs help.

    1
  17. sherri

    November 9, 2018 at 10:42 pm

    I am so proud of the girl!

    1
  18. Femi

    November 9, 2018 at 11:02 pm

    Well, after all said and done, all I can see is a very very very very beautiful woman. She look pretty young like never being married. Lol

    1
  19. Mimi

    November 10, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Thanks for sharing your story. It’s so sad. Thank God you out, strong and strengthened by God. You’re so beautiful, kai! I’m wondering what will make a man wipe himself on his wife. What degree of hatred would that be?

    1
  20. Grace

    November 10, 2018 at 8:16 am

    Please when Is a woman actually abused. Is it in till she comes out and says that she’s abused that she is actually abused. Toke was in an abusive relationship and people still hailed her when she got married and call all those who warned haters untill she came out openly to talk of the abuse. Not too long ago, we watched a show of shame by the Idibia’s where a man was obviously more in love with another woman in front of his wife. Leaning on her breast and all with the wife looking like an outsider and apologizing but we hailed it as one love, a strong woman seeking peace. Well, at least that show of shame is the least disgraceful we have seen from that family. From beating her in her teens, to openly dating and impregnating other women to cheating in the marriage. Let’s not forget the incidence with Dokpesi’s niece. We now have a woman with a Stockholm syndrome living in a fantasy world and relying on public praise for survival but she is not being abused because she hasn’t come out to say she is abi? and the hubby gets away with it because he’s ‘humble’ and “simple. Let’s be honest with ourselves, the number one reason abuse continues is that women are judged on the ability to keep a man and those who date to be themselves risk being social pariahs.
    BN, please post this. I know you like being politically correct but abeg just post

    • jaguarnana

      November 11, 2018 at 7:25 am

      Thank you!!!!!, i have never understood our society’s fascination with that couples relationship for the life of me, I’m thinking this giraffe slept around the world then came back to propose to you and you accepted it then the media did not let us hear word again, harping on and on about the new power couple & i’m scratching my head still thinking she took him back,,,she really took him back…tufia! (everytime i see her that’s all that rings in my ears – she took him back?!)

  21. Cyril

    November 10, 2018 at 8:50 am

    Amazing how we are still trying to keep the identity of a psychopath cum sociopath, a brute who attempted murder on more than one occassion. I mean shouldn’t someone like Dare Ajayi, the ex husband being referred to here, be in jail or confined to a mental institution?
    I wonder what actions Mrs IBIDUNNI Igholado, the brute’s sister took about this?
    I’m happy this lady came out alive (I have a cousin who didn’t). I’m not happy Dare Ajayi seems to have gotten away with this animalistic behavior. Even if the law can’t deal with him (anymore), he should at least be regarded in the society for what he is. An animal. A sadistic brute. A psychopath with no place among sane humans.

    1
    • Toro Akinseye

      November 10, 2018 at 4:57 pm

      Dear Cyril you forget that it’s a mans world in Nigeria they’ll probably say she’s lying, she’s a pretender or where were the scars or show pictures! And to crown he belongs to the Nigerian “xtian” high society and you forget the way they twist the word to suit themselves and dispossess the ordinary person

  22. Onyin

    November 10, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    This is so sad. I almost got married to a monster like this. He is a supposed church brother. People taught we were perfect and would pray for a relationship like ours. I remember once a friend of his came to him for advice and link up as he could see how happy we were.
    He hit me 4 times and the last time his own dad told me to call the police on him cos it happened in their family house. The crazy thing is this monster till date still hopes i come back.
    One of the times we fought, we were meant to go for marriage to be counselling and sign some documents but we postponed it. The weird thing was few days after this he hit me but this time i had dreams that it would not stop. I was one of those who would say those exact words of if a man hits you once never take him back.
    I didn’t tell anyone cos who would believe that I would ever be in this situation. He was so insecure, isolated me from all my male friends.
    So much to type

    1
    • Kudi Klepto

      November 11, 2018 at 7:30 am

      I believe you.

  23. ada

    November 10, 2018 at 1:37 pm

    WOW God has a purpose for your life and you sharing your story. Am very sorry for your pain; U WILL OVERCOME.
    Please women n Men introduce your bf/gf to male figures and spiritual fathers in your life sometimes if many people see the same thing it helps. it might even be as little as slapping a waiter at a restaurant.
    All these do/die must stay in marriage culture MUST STOP.
    Please families lets check on our siblings even though they are married. They might not tell you but you can sense a change if your close. Still impose yourself. Offer to support them financially If anybody lays a hand on my sister even if she says don’t do anything; i will mess him up still; go n batter your mother. They might hate you temporary but will realize in time n thank you.
    Her ex husband family must be ashamed of themselves of raising such a man. Domestic violence is a generational cycle. Since no criminal charges can be filed in Nigeria best thing is to shame him. No job company should be hiring such a man. i pray her boys don’t become part of this cycle please put them in counselling too. Children know much more than we think.

    1
    • jaguarnana

      November 11, 2018 at 7:32 am

      Ada do we know each other as you just mentioned my story here…. yes my ex got up to go slap a waitress in a cheap ass bukkah close to our university because she didn’t bring him a spoon as he had requested. All i know is I’m eating, he gets up goes to the kitchen back room and i hear kpa! some commotion and he calmly walks back to the table with the spoon and continues eating like nothing happened…… I didn’t have the liver to give the break up speech i just disappeared & dodged him till he graduated.

      1
    • Cyril

      November 11, 2018 at 8:11 am

      I am all for this, really. Men like Dare Ajayi ought to be stigmatized. Looking forward to when corporate organizations will fire their staff for reasons like this or people lose endorsements.

      1
    • Gbemi smith

      December 12, 2018 at 11:32 am

      You can not destroy him. You have seen his potential and his future but 50 billion of you can not. One with God is a majority. Can you compare white with black? Good and evil? Happiness and sadness. Dare is a good man. I wonder how he met this useless woman. His success is not in your hands. Go and mark this down. Una go beg las las. Your Witch craft will not work

  24. Toro Akinseye

    November 10, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    Thank God this lady did not get killed whilst her ex hubby was “water boarding” her. This is a torture technic used in Guantanamo bay for people suspected to be terrorists. It’s a shame that the man was not prosecuted and jailed! O I forget, it’s a mans world in Nigeria and they’ll say she’s mad or she’s lying or where are the scars? And the guy is well connected to the upper echelons of the Nigerian Christian high society. But they forget one thing God sees and the perpetrator of this evil will not go unpunished

  25. Anon

    November 12, 2018 at 5:27 am

    I know that Dare Ajayi or his friends or family will watch this video, and read the comments section. So, here are my suggestions and comments. First, I would love to give Mrs. Ighodalo the benefit of the doubt. She MIGHT have believed that it was best for the children to be TEMPORARILY in a peaceful setting, while the dust settles. Afterall, Miss Agunloye left those children behind in her marital home, on her own, and packed out, meaning the environment was truly horrible. For a woman to escape WITHOUT her children speaks volumes of the horrors she was enduring. As a mother, I hope I never get to that point, where I would run away anywhere WITHOUT my children.! I cannot speak to Mrs Ighodalo’s thought process, or what the long-term plans were for those children, but I am just giving her the benefit of the doubt. Second, I want to speak to Mr Dare Ajayi. Can you please use this phase of your life as teachable moment for the beasts and monsters in our society who abuse, beat and maul their wives or girlfriends? I think you could really redeem yourself if you go and seek proper help. Do not use the Church or some Pastor. I generally distrust many of them to be honest. Find a proper PROFESSIONAL psychologist/anger management expert. I don’t know if these are available in Nigeria. Just like Miss Agunloye was brave enough to come out and speak out about her experience. I want you (after proper counseling) to come out, admit to what you did (without blaming Miss Agunloye for ‘provoking you’, for ‘cheating’ etc…..You will lose credibility immediately if you do these things. Take ownership of your faults!!!). Talk about how you sought help, and have recovered, and then offer counseling, mentorship, help or advice to men who think it is okay to abuse, or beat their wives. I know this may never happen, but I see such an opportunity for you here. Heal yourself….you have 3 sons for God’s sake. The manliest thing you can do now is admit to your evils, and PREVENT it from happening to the next girl. Go into universities, and hold a men’s only summit. Talk to young boys/men, and tell them that it is WRONG WRONG WRONG to ever for whatsoever reason to beat your wife. I feel like, if some of these messages are taught from a very young age, we can avoid stories like this. I am not remotely suggesting a reconciliation between you and Miss Agunloye. Because, there is clearly something toxic that occurs when you are both together. In such a patriarchical society as Nigeria, I know that your instinct is to come out all guns blazing to try to destroy Miss Agunloye. Regardless of what she did or what you think she did, she never deserved the abuse you meted against her, or your attempts to discredit and de-humanize her.
    What can help your case now (if at all) is what I have suggested. You are clearly dealing with major past hurts, psychological trauma, deep insecurities, and/or frustrations. But teach these young men/next generation that it is NEVER okay to abuse your significant other. The narrative against abuse NEEDS the voice of men………and who better to serve as the best mentor for the next generation than a ‘REFORMED’ abuser! I am an eternal optimist, and sincerely, hope you consider my suggestions. I actually feel for you – someone who goes out of their way to dehumanize another human being is suffering deeply from something. I wish you good luck and healing to Mr Ajayi and Miss Agunloye and your 3 precious gifts………Miss Agunloye, I hope you have many positive role models for your sons – this is very crucial! This ‘abuse’ gene hopefully dies before the next generation come along… I am sorry that I am so vested in this matter – I do not know these people, but my sister went through something very similar, and it still breaks my heart. In her case though, there is a happy ending – She left her husband for two years, and they literally started from scratch. Her husband went to counselling for many months, took anger management courses, and they both did couples counselling, and with a lot of prayers as well. He actually mentors many young men today and is a great role model. They got back together and have been together now for 14 years (since the abuse), and I know he has never ever laid a hand on her again…..I am crying all over again – sorry Olamide – you poor thing!

    • Amaa

      November 12, 2018 at 9:14 pm

      I love you anon honestly you just wrote my thoughts out here .The narrative needs to change Ex abusers need to start speaking out on their recovery what they lost in the process . I watched a friend go from having an abusive father whom her mum left to an abusive boyfriend and finally abusive husband who she had the courage to leave early in the relationship. It’s a vicious circle everyone needs to seek help and counseling. It’s a sad day for our culture men feeling emasculated women feeling subjugated we need to start having conversations . Our world has changed there are beautiful things about our culture and there are really terrible things about it too .God bless Nigeria. It’s good to see all the commenters back MSA etc . BN don’t screw this up again with you favourite and political correctness

  26. Truthwillprevial

    November 15, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    This lady has just made the worst mistake of her life. I know someone who says her ex has so much Dirt on her that it’s unimaginable and the only reason he is still holding on is because of his boys. Some people will use their hand to do themselves

    1
    • Bose

      November 16, 2018 at 10:34 am

      Empty threats and you’re completely missing the point. Unless he can accuse her of being an abuser, no dirt will stick. Even if she was sleeping with all the men in Abuja it doesn’t justify this horrific abuse.

      1
    • Manny

      November 20, 2018 at 12:51 am

      What else will the ex say before. Na today?

      1
  27. Truthspeaks

    November 16, 2018 at 1:55 am

    The moderator of this page is obviously biased. You are not posting other responses from the other party we hear. I have also posted 4 comments and I have not seen any one. Lamide is as guilty of abuse and she is a big fraud. But God is a patient God. You may try to spoil another man’s image but God in his infinite mercies will vindicate the innocent. 2 kobo for the wise

  28. Bunmi

    November 19, 2018 at 5:23 am

    This videos doesn’t make it right either. She has teenage boys. She wasn’t properly counseled. Besides I hear they have been apart for 10 years. Why now? Hmmm

  29. Idris

    November 21, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    This is a very bitter actresss. I don’t believe her scripted story.

  30. Simisola

    November 22, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    This is a woman scorned. She dated a friend’s brother after her marriage failed so I know her very well. Money is always her motive not loyalty and she mirrors the narrative of a naturally aggrieved and aggressive woman but disguised in a sweet and innocent voice. Poison
    My advise to the man is to protect his children. She is heartless.

  31. PD Young Billionaire

    December 1, 2018 at 6:01 am

    Her ex is nasty honestly.I wonder why his sister Ibidun calls him her twin.The guy Na monster!!!

    • Skilz

      December 5, 2018 at 6:56 pm

      You lack sense! Are you jealous of her relationship with her brother. Why don’t you go on her page to say that. All you moral less she goat in human skin supporting a cheap randy good for nothing wicked woman. If you know half, just half of the truth you will go and flog the woman. You better keep quiet if you lack objectivity. Pig

  32. Gbemi smith

    December 12, 2018 at 11:21 am

    Few questions? What did you do to warrant this beating Ma? You are obviously not an Angel or are you? Say how you provoked this man who left his job in the U.K. Just to be with you? Aunty I must have sworn I hit him first. Oh when you slap an African man “YOUR HUSBAND” what do you expect? A rub on the back? Joker? You are an accuser of the brethren! Evil and devilish in looks and appearance , we know your type. After 12 years of separation you are now pointing fingers, exaggerating lies to win public sympathy and tarnishing the image of the man that has been taking extremely good care of your children you abandoned for 6 years but went to straight to perform plastic surgery and prostitution!!!!
    Haven’t you dated other men in the last 10 years? Haven’t you swindled men of their hard earned millions in Abuja before running to Lagos to start another round of 410? Lamide STOP spreading lies! Your children will watch this video one day and guess what? You will smell pepper! They are boys and they are Ajayi’s NOT Agunloye. You obviously lack proper counsel. Seek God’s forgiveness and let go of the bitterness. No person in their right thinking mind will an ounce of respect for you with this campaign of calumny.

    1

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