What to Do When you Have Extremely Playful Friends Who Don’t know When to Stop

It’s Jane’s birthday and she’s got a 3-tiered beautiful cake to celebrate her day. People gather around to sing a happy birthday song while clapping and cheering. After the rendition, her friend, grinning from ear to ear, playfully slams her face into the cake. One of the sticks that make the cakes steady pierce her left eye. Blood gushes out of its socket, she’s rushed to the hospital but the eye is gone. Forever.

We’ve heard stories like this many times; they are like those little horror tales meant to frighten young children. Except that in this case, it is true: people are losing body parts because of their extremely playful friends.

Many of us have that friend who never takes life seriously. The one who would find every opportunity to play, even when the world is burning to the ground. They are the life of parties too; they bring the right energy and ginger. But they are also rough, insensitive to certain situations, people, or places, and don’t know when to stop. They are the ones who would yank the chair from your buttocks when you’re about to sit, watch you hit your bum on the edge of the tiles and roar in laughter. Or pull your wig when your okada is about to move, swirl it around their fingers, doubling down in laughter as they watch you try to cover your rough hair with your hands. These friends are precious. With them, you create memorable experiences that will stay with you for a long, long time. 

But what do you do when you have a friend who doesn’t understand when to stop or is blind to danger signs? Or when actions like this can cost lasting damage to you? Here is an example:

Here is the tiktok guys pic.twitter.com/JuPq2yXSsr

— blondboygigi (@blondboygigi) October 30, 2022

In this TikTok video, Rachelle Friedman shared how her best friend shoved her into a pool, causing her to suffer a spine injury and become paralysed from the chest down.

Rachelle was a physically fit 24-year-old woman who was engaged and set to wed, but at her bachelorette celebration in May 2010, her best friend pushed her into the pool. She hit her head, sustained injury on her spine and became paralysed. 12 years later, Rachelle has a beautiful family but is still in a wheelchair. In situations like this, there are lots of “OMG, I’m awfully sorry, I didn’t mean it, oh dear,” but there’s only one person who may never walk again: Rachelle. Years of apologies would not bring back her spine.

There is a lot of see-finish in friendships. Familiarity, they say, breeds contempt. People get overly attached to their friends and start to disrespect their preferences or think that an apology would quickly fix things. Removing your friend’s wig in public is irreverent and distasteful, still, it is forgivable. But there are things that should never be jokes – like spiking your friend’s drink with drugs, feeding your friend cookies laced with weed, hiding your friend’s inhaler, coughing into your friend’s face, pushing your friend down the stairs or into the pool. Or like Mary who needed an emergency epinephrine injection because her coworkers didn’t believe she was allergic to fish.

Extremely playful people have a reputation for causing chaos and leaving a trail of havoc in their wake. They are rash and thoughtless, and the effects of their actions are typically felt by others while they walk away, apologising.

Sometimes, this play isn’t even just physical. This also extends to friends who jokingly disrespect you in public. Friends who jokingly say things you told them in confidence. Friends who body-shame you because – hey, I’m just playing.