The Great Hair Debate! From Rockin Your ‘Real’ Hair to ‘Good Hair’
Posted on Thursday, September 10th, 2009 at 9:24 amBy Bella
When Tyra Banks announced that she was going extension-free, people of all races paid attention. Tyra – the self-proclaimed lace front queen was going to be filming the entire season of the Tyra Banks Show with no wigs or hair extensions. Just her hair. Call it a gimmick but it definitely sparked the debate.
Personally, I have had a love-hate relationship with my hair. For years, no one saw it, it was just weave-in, weave-out and it worked for me just fine. It is not as though I especially hated my hair, its just that with an extremely busy school, work and travel schedule; that was basically the easiest option.
Even in my predominantly white university, my classmates were so convinced that my weave was my hair that during a drive to donate hair – they tried to convince me to donate to Locks of Love. That gave me a hearty laugh!
Despite pleas from my mum to ‘let my hair breath’, I simply ignored those! – it is easy to let your hair ‘breathe’ when you have long locks flowing with the wind like she does. After relocating to Nigeria last year, I got a hair stylist who I trusted even though she told me that my sister and mum have ‘good hair’ while my hair is ‘too thick’. Even with my ‘too thick’ hair, she advised me to give the weaves a break and after months of badgering and pleading from her. I finally did it! – I stepped out ‘weave free’. Seriously, I have never felt more naked, I was tempted to run back and say ‘Kemi, please just fix a quick weave’ or go straight home but instead I went to a get-together with BN Beauty Editor, Azara and guess what? A couple of people actually complimented my hair! To say I was shocked and awed would be an understatement. Another thing surprised me, lots of my male friends and colleagues told me to stick with it. Most men claim they love the ‘real hair’ look…Not sure if I believe them but it’s their opinion.
After my first weave-free experience, I don’t think I will ever tick to just ‘my hair’ permanently so I still rock my weaves but now give it a break much more often.
Will love to hair your weave vs. real hair stories. Guys, we want to hear from you as well. Any preferences? Plus what do you think about the whole ‘good hair’ thing – what is ‘good hair’ anyway? Check out the trailer to the new Chris Rock movie on the topic below – looks hilarious!
Tyra Weave – Free in Motion: Think she looks much better with her hair but its her choice!
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i got tired of my relaxed hair a few months back when it started breaking. i had just removed a weave and was combing my hair when i noticed the breakage and realized my hair looked worse than it used to back in my secondary school days. That same evening, i was at the barbers and i have enjoyed carrying my natural hair ever since. I was pleasantly suprised when i got so many compliments. The good part is that when i get tired and desire another look, i wear wigs or as i did once, a lace wig.
Its sad that many women spend so much money on hair extensions et al at the expense of their hair. Do whatever you like but take good care of your hair. Buy good hair products for your hair, drink lots of water etc but whatever the case, look beautiful….
you guys are funny……lol
I think how you choose to wear your hair should depend what makes you feel comfortable. Getting a perm does not make you less African unless going through pain every time you have to comb or restyle your hair is “African”. On the flip side, perms and weaves are convenient for a lot of women but personally i dont think it makes them anymore glamorous than the next person with natural hair. It’s just hair nobody should be judged by how they choose to wear it.
I dont think it’s bad if black women want to deviate from their natural hair…It is okay to experiment with different looks…I like to have curly,straight and any other type of hair when i choose to …The problem however, is that a lot of black women think their hair is bad and that caucasian hair is the standard hair type…this obviously means something is wrong somewhere…It isnt just hair when we think that only Caucasian type hair (weave n relaxed hair) is sexy!!!It’d be nice if we rocked our own hair as often as other type hair we rock.I blame our mothers sa…they just slapped chemicals on our hair and didnt let us know any different, while growing up i really thought everyone had to have permed hair…now that our generation knows better we should encourage our daughters …we should let them know that their natural hair is their own hair standard and it is even more beautiful than the other hair options they have.
Ah!!!black women…its almost like we actively seek anything that can divide us and run with it. Your hair is permed, natural, weaves, wig etc…SO WHAT. In the large scheme of things, there are bigger things to worry about. Our communities are rotting away and we find time to sit and talk about our lack of self esteem when our hair is “straight” or our Afrocentrism when our hair is in an afro. Give it a rest jo, focus this energy (sugarbelly & co…no hard feelings girl
) on the real issues of life. It surprises me how, a culture that is blessed with such versatile hair spends half the time bashing on each other. When our white sisters get perms to get curly hair or vice versa, no one shouts…when you see a white guy with locks, no one says anything…its only us that have to focus on something so trivial. Rock the style you like and live your life. Work to make sure our daughters grow up with good self esteem and they can love themselves with whatever hair they have. Teach our sons to appreciate women and seek for higher heights in life. Not to be a downer but AIDS, cancer and all sorts are ravaging our communities and we are spending time talking about natural vs permed hair. Let us really get it together, our priorities are out of wack.
O and whatever hairstyle you rock…biko, take care of your hair…trim and wash that bad boy…natural hair does not mean it is low maintenance and permed hair does not mean you can just put it in a ponytail and just go o.
God bless!!!
Saw this comment on another blog and it pretty much sums up how I feel about this issue-
”The fact that black women are the only women in the entire world for whom such a large number DON’T wear their hair in its natural texture (for most of their entire lives!) is tragic. I don’t see how you all don’t see that or grasp the gravity of that. And the line “it’s just hair” is so disingenuous and the logic of it could easily be turned back on itself: if it’s just hair, why NOT wear it natural?”
if it’s just hair, why NOT wear it natural?”
Mimi will be a great line for going natural ad campaign!
yes!why dont we do everything natural then…Lets not wear make-up, lets not use body lotions, mascara nko? let us stop trying to lengthen and thicken our eye lashes…Why do we GO NATURAL all the way!!!!why choose one over the other!!
You can’t compare wearing mascara or makeup to having natural hair. It’s not even close. Those things you mentioned fingy will only cause temporary changes and at the end you can wash them off. However relaxers are PERMANENT. It’s not like a cream you put in your hair to straighten it that you can wash off at the end of the day. It’s akin to bleaching your skin in that it is permanent and it damages and weakens your hair. Going natural is better for hair in the long run because when people get older and their hair starts to thin and fall off, and they start to suffer from pattern baldness like men, they’ll wonder why. I wish people could understand that. Besides, if you’re natural and want to have straight hair, there are flat irons and pressing combs. None of these will cause as much damage as relaxers. I mean when my hair was relaxed, I STILL had to flat iron to make it really straight. Why not just cut out the middle man and go from curly to straight, instead of from frizzy, neither straight nor curly to straight?
uhhhhh….. iono about you but i hate waking up in the morning and i cant put my hair in a ponytail and have it look good. at least with a perm, i dont spend hours trying to put it in a bun. a perm is convenient and if you straightened your hair properly, youd only have to do it like once every two weeks.. which is what i do. unlike natural hair… you sweat.. its over.
I wear my hair natural and although I am in the growing stages, I have a wash and go method for my hair. I can wash it whenever I want (only conditioner though). with my natural hair I don’t hesitate to go to the gym, or that when rain is falling have to be like “oh my hair”. all the chemical straightening and weaves makes it difficult to just live like people of other races are doing.
Good 1 I like ur comment…
First, Tyra showed her real hair as a copy of the mighty O: Oprah. Back in April when Oprah did an episode about twitter & joined twitter she wore her real hair for a few episodes: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/24/oprah-defends-her-hair-th_n_191287.html . . . Cant Tyra ever do anything original?
As Tyra said, as the mighty O Oprah has said, RELAXERS KILL HAIR. Tyra’s broke off, and the mighty O’s beautiful afro fell out. If from childhood our mother’s didnt relax our hair, we would all know how to manage it. Bc of the work that Oprah & Tyra do, wigs and weaves are a must. & for so many professional ladies they feel the same.
I hve no problem w ppl wearing wigs/weaves as long as they are realistic.
For Tyra, I found her hypocritical bc many times she had episodes on hair when she would b wearing a long *ss weave!
As far as the Chris Rock documentary, Im intersted to c it. Chris too needs to start @ home.
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CNN QUOTE :Rock couldn’t figure out why his daughters wanted straight hair, and when Lola, [one of his daughters], asked him why she didn’t have good hair, it just “ignited something in me,” Rock recalls.
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. . . His 2 daughters are crying over their hair & arent reassured as their mom Malaack stays in a weave. If Rock’s wants his daughters Lola & Zahra 2 b confident & self assured & love their hair, he needs 2 encourage his wife / their mother needs to wear her hair differently. Malaack shouldnt all the time be wearing those long long Anglo hair weaves that she does.
At the end of the day, to some people, myself included it’s just hair. I have have had my hair natural for a significant amount of time, I have permed it, I have rocked low cut, I have dyed it, I love my wigs not weaves or braids though, my point is that I enjoy playing with my hair and it is pretty much an extension of my wardrobe, I am as attached to my hair as I am to a pair of shoes, it’s really not that deep
I’m a Nigerian guy based in the States and I can tell you ladies now – many of us have learnt to differenciate between a woman’s real hair and the fake bits they buy to add in. And most guys I know definitely prefer the real deal. One of my guys told me he has never seen his fiancee’s real hair, and he is worried that she may be bald underneath all the blond, green and red wigs.
Why do you ladies think we like the fake things you put on? We can just about deal with make up and high heels. But then you wear fake hair, fake nails, false eyelashes, deceptive underwear, and the lot. It’s very scary. Imagine how a guy feels when you get to the bedroom and the fake things come off and you realise that the sexy babe was only looking that way because she had “help” from horse hair and plastic nails!
Many of us prefer a confident, woman who is not afraid of showing her true self. The only reason why we don’t complain is because we know you will get riled up when we try to give constructive criticism about your hair and appearance in general. I know some guys have totally given up on the idea of meeting a babe with no fake bits.
But I will say this: Try to take care of the body you have been given by God so you don’t need the fake stuff. Eat right, exercise, use good products, treat your hair and body with respect and let your natural beauty shine through.
I find it interesting that any black man wants to give black women “constructive criticism” about hair. Black men can never understand the challenges black women go through in society, especially western society, because of hair. All brothers have to do is get a low cut and that’s it. Imagine if your low cut was not enough and you were required to change your hair texture, length of hair, et cetera just to get a job, find a mate, or simply fit into the mainstream.
I wore natural hairstyles in a white collar position and it was not well received. My fellow black female colleagues received similar treatment. When one of my colleagues switched to weave, the warm reception that she received was sooooooo astonishing. She was rewarded for wearing “fake” hair and punished for actually wearing the hair GOD put on her head. This is what black women face in many contexts: we are shunned for wearing our own hair and when we try to conform, we are admired by the hegemony and some of our own, but on the flip side considered “fake”. My rhetorical question is “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU ALL WANT FROM US?”
Black men are busy talking crap about black women and how “fake” they are, yet they continuously demand that black women meet the beauty ideals of the hegemony. While black men are busy criticizing black women, I am sure that the natural white women with boob implants, botox, hair extensions, contacts, tans, porcelain veneers, nose jobs, lip injections, and butt injections are “real” to the average black men.
The fact is that women of all races indulge in beauty enhancements and people should stop beating down on black women for partaking of the national moi moi.
you have issues sa!which one is deceptive undewear again!!! !!pls give your wife or GF this advice…if you like tell her not to brush her teeth all in d name of natural….
God bless you…you’re an example of what a man should be
I totally agree with John. I know the truth hurts, but he’s telling the truth.
You say this but a lot of guys are more concerned with va va voom which means big hair, fake lashes they can’t help it.