Hawaii or Alaska…Where are you headed?

Posted on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 at 5:59 AM

By Ekene Onu

01-woman-in-airport-090409-lg-28757773The other day I was speaking to a dear friend who is waiting for her life partner. She is of age and has everything going for her and she is currently single. I understand her angst, I know people may think yeah, yeah, you are already married how can you relate? Well while I may not fully grasp the depth of her concern, rest assured I myself felt it at times.

We had an interesting conversation. She was telling me about a man who had come on the scene but he had a few hiccups or commas or red flags. She had asked me for advice about whether or not she should proceed with this man. He had many of the qualities that she wanted but he also had many of the flaws she desperately wanted to avoid. I listened to her, this brilliant, compassionate, solid woman, someone who I often turned to for counsel, tell me her reasons for considering this man. She kept talking and I kept asking questions and then she said something that I love her for. She broke it down honestly. “I am not getting any younger and it’s not like I have a lot of prospects, so maybe I should just take what is in front of me”. I was so glad when she put it plainly because here was something we could deal with.

I couldn’t tell her whether or not he would be a good man because only God knows a man’s heart…and even the bible tells us it can be desperately wicked.
I couldn’t tell her if she would be happy with him, even couples who profess undying love at the wedding day sometimes hate each other later.

I could tell her though that the smoke one sees when dating, typically becomes a well stoked fire in marriage.
I could tell her that those red flags usually become flashing sirens later on.
I could tell her that I loved her enough not to want her to suffer unnecessarily.

I asked her to picture herself in an airport and her marriage a destination. Where would she like to go? Perhaps she thought of a picturesque place like Hawaii; a destination known for its beaches and tropical flavor. Perhaps she had packed a bikini and sunglasses for her trip.
Now I wanted her to picture the departure board. All the flights to Hawaii were delayed until further notice. None of the airline staff had any information, except that they knew that corporate planned to send the planes. People seemed to be boarding planes all around her, but when she looked the only available flight she could get on was headed directly to Alaska and it was leaving soon.

What to do? She is not packed for Alaska. She doesn’t even like snow. But it’s the only available flight. Maybe she could learn to like snow, maybe she could buy a parka over there. Don’t they have like a month of summer?
All these thoughts rush through her head.

I asked her, is there some apocalyptic event happening at the airport. If you don’t board the plane, is your life in danger?
Because there was one other thing I knew for sure. The plane to Alaska will never go to Hawaii.
As for her questions, well she could maybe buy a parka. I know many women (and men for that matter) who are in marriages that are difficult because the parties involved were prepared for different experiences and somehow found themselves on the wrong plane. She could learn to like snow, certainly probably after many cold nights, after all I also know marriages that seemed doomed from the start eventually after much heartache and God’s intervention become sweet and loving.

The point of all this is simply this. I love my friend and so I shared with her what I want to share with you. Marriage is not a simple, uncomplicated affair. Even when you are perfectly matched you may find challenges and when you are not if can be a Herculean task to make it work and it will not come without a great deal of heartache and pain. So I know the wait may seem endless and it seems like your partner isn’t out there. I want to encourage you to wait for what you know in your heart that you want and need, as long as those wants are not based on superficial nonsense but rooted in reality and come from true introspection, then wait.

I know the screen says delayed. I know you don’t have any information as to when it is coming. I know you have a wave of panic welling up inside of you.
But please know this, if you get on the plane bound for the wrong destination, that’s it. You are on the plane. The pilot will not stop and let you get off. And you may be thinking well I’ll just get divorced. Not as easy as folks make it look, like two pieces of paper that are stuck together can rarely be separated without one or both of them ripping, most people do not get out of divorces completely intact and without some serious and possibly life changing pain and consequences.

Please wait for what you want. Yes, I’m on the other side. So I should have credibility, I know exactly what shade of green the grass is here and I know just how many weeds there are too.
Wait, and while you are waiting, look around you…it’s a nice airport, state of the art, they have a lounge where you can get facials and massages, the best restaurants and the shopping is freaking awesome!

Love you. Be well.

Photo Credit: Esquire

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  • 60 Comments on “Hawaii or Alaska…Where are you headed?”

    Comments
    • Enyinna November 22, 2009 at 6:39 AM

      Excellent analogy.

    • Kiki November 22, 2009 at 6:44 AM

      Woow! Thanks for your words of encouragement…..
      I’m single and perfectly understand your friends’ concerns.

      My aunt got married at 36, when all her friends were married with kids. She is a very pretty lady and then everyone used to say she was just been picky and knowing my aunt, that was far from the truth. She said all the men that came her way, had one issue or another that people kept telling her to ignore, but she wouldn’t. Today she’s married and has a lovely family.

      Last year, my boyfriend and I broke up after 2years and plans of marriage were on the way. I cried endlessly to my mom telling her that “I’m getting old, all my friend’s are married with their families”. She said “look at your fingers not all are equal, you’ll get married in God’s time and when the time is right”.

      Although my mother’s words didnt help then, it’s now a source of consolation to me anytime I find myself thinking helplessly. It’s important to constantly pray for God’s guidance and mostly especially be patient. Because ladies tend to be most vulnerable at times like this. And while you wait; have fun, improve yourself and just don’t sit down wallow in self pity:-)

    • dubaisands November 22, 2009 at 7:12 AM

      Well written. It is very true that every marriage should be based on a foundation rooted in fiery LOVE. Its the only thing that will keep you going when all the challenges come along (and they will – plenty)… A marriage based on anything else – superficial, transitory, is bound to fail. Wait for it, it usually comes when one isn’t looking..

    • bm November 22, 2009 at 8:36 AM

      its true oh! I think my generation (early twenties) places too much emphasis on physical things in marriage rather than true ‘fiery’ love as you say.

      The article and its analogy is spot on!!!!

    • Sia November 22, 2009 at 9:19 AM

      I do not know why there is so much pressure on women to get married because their friends are married. How many married people are happy in their marriage. I am just 23 and I pray to God concerning this issue.

      I think women should fight this pressure/ desperation because it taking over us. Should wearing a ring or bearing someone’s name determine our happiness? I get angry when I think about this.

    • EvaNkechi November 22, 2009 at 12:45 PM

      You don’t know how you have helped me with this article. It’s like you are talking to me. Thank you so much,

    • enkay November 22, 2009 at 3:09 PM

      I am most definitely in the same boat of feeling as you. After marriage what next? I am 26 and presently without a bf and tho i get angry at the pressure,i feel them sometimes. Seems like all our friends are getting married but truly, really truly I’ll wait for THE flight to Hawaii. Am sure i can have a make-over while am waiting. So girls, RELAX!!! and don’t forget the one who made you and made someone to complete you,GOD.

    • Miss Chinedu November 22, 2009 at 4:42 PM

      Ekene, this is brilliant…

    • bebe November 22, 2009 at 5:33 PM

      God bless you for this ananlogy. Very inspiring!!!

    • Dee November 22, 2009 at 5:36 PM

      This is such an inspiration to me. I dated a guy that I would not normally have considered because I wanted to get married by 24 or 25. I thank God that He opened my eyes to see that marriage is not something to rush into because of time, but something to wait on the Lord for. I am 24 and single, patiently waiting for my flight to Hawaii. :)

    • BABI U November 22, 2009 at 6:01 PM

      lovely lovely article….am so under pressure but this article is forcing me to do a re-think…to go back and re-assess what am doing and whether the relationship am with now is a result of a knee jerk reaction to that pressure….

      i especially love kiki’s comment……
      especially be grateful that your mother is understanding and able to encourage you rather than force you into a bad situation….

    • chiquita November 22, 2009 at 6:40 PM

      Sia and Enkay, I really agree with you 2, what i see around me is many girls hurrying into marriages. And if that dont work they make babies to cover up. Although pressure surrounds me I will not settle with a man I dont wholeheartedly love, and I dont think any female should. Trust me ladies its worth the wait.

    • Dee November 22, 2009 at 6:40 PM

      Wow………..this has to be one of the best analogies I’ve heard on this whole marriage issue. Like several other people have already mentioned, there’s so much pressure for females to get married that at one point I was really feeling the pressure and had to re-assess alot of things. You don’t want to have ”manage a relationship”……..you’re obviously not going to meet or marry the perfect person, cos we’re not perfect either, but there are certain things we know are are crucial and fundamental……………we shouldnt have to compromise on these.
      Prayer is the key!!!

    • Myne Whitman November 22, 2009 at 7:17 PM

      I saw this on Ekene’s blog and liked it a lot.

    • neli November 22, 2009 at 7:20 PM

      ‘ll wait for my flight to hawaii

    • Penzifinder November 22, 2009 at 8:30 PM

      I have just stumbled on this site, I like alot I shall become a follower for real. Good work

    • NK November 22, 2009 at 8:58 PM

      Wonderful analogue.

    • Molly November 22, 2009 at 9:34 PM

      Love it, love it, LOVE IT.

      A well thought out honest piece…i love the bit about the facials, massages, shopping and restaurants. Hey its not easy but you could do a lot worse than being single and there are some perks which come with being single, that are not in as much abundance when you are married and have other people to think about, you might have the cash but not the time.

    • black nubia November 22, 2009 at 10:47 PM

      marriage is not something to rush into,women nowadays are being rushed,and its not the best,intentions of family and friends especially family are geniuine,but they have to understand that it is a lifetime commitment.

    • Olivia November 23, 2009 at 1:40 AM

      Beautiful piece. Very deep and insightful. Ekene, I’m digging your blog big time. And you can be in Hawaii and realize that you REALLY are an Alaskan at heart…..lol
      May God help us all! Ko easy rara o!

    • beezy November 23, 2009 at 10:40 AM

      Amazing piece…… you have a gift!!

    • Missy November 23, 2009 at 12:34 PM

      Dee, that’s exactly what im doing now. dating a guy that I wouldnt simply because I dont want to get married late.
      All this ‘patiently waiting’ is easier said than done.
      :-(

    • jaybee November 23, 2009 at 1:50 PM

      thank God 4 dis eye-opener of an article,am 24 and am def goin to wait 4 d flight to hawaii,i tot i was d only one dt gave myself d ultimatum of gettn married by 24,dt was y earlier in d year i got involved wit someone i wldnt date on a gud day,cos he was tlkn about gettn married by d end of d year or early next yr….funny enuf i changed my mind som months back,and decided to find my way out of a relatnship with som1 i am not in love with

    • kole November 23, 2009 at 2:03 PM

      Beautiful article, perseverance and prayer will see us through.

    • laide o November 23, 2009 at 3:00 PM

      lovely piece. well told.

    • onyinye November 23, 2009 at 3:43 PM

      Touching piece. It pays to wait, but at the same time, time waits for no one.

    • Jade82 November 23, 2009 at 4:13 PM

      Wonderful article. Definitely prayers and perseverance will lead us to the right person. There is no need to rush because marriage is more complicated than dating. I think about it, and say to myself i cannot spend the rest of my life with someone tat will make me miserable.

      This article touches every corner to alert those that become blind due to pressure of by now i should be this……guess what the rush will only get one to board any plane heading in the wrong direction.

      Patience is key….a lot of us lack it because when u wait as Ekene said ” Wait, and while you are waiting, look around you…it’s a nice airport, state of the art, they have a lounge where you can get facials and massages, the best restaurants and the shopping is freaking awesome!”

      You won’t be disappointed…….Relax God is in control…

    • vivian o November 23, 2009 at 4:46 PM

      I like the analogy that the author of this article employs to get her point across. It’s very relatable. As for my opinion on marriage, I think it is a beautiful institution when done RIGHT. In other words, marriage is easy to get into and very hard to leave and, therefore, people need to be very careful about jumping into this institution. Marriage is not for everyone and that is something that is not emphasized enough. People must honestly consider whether they are good candidates for marriage. Also, people need to remember, especially females, that the wedding festivities and all the glamour that comes with it, is not the marriage. Society – that means us – also needs to stop being judgmental when someone expresses that they do not wish to marry and respect that some people are unwilling to expend the energy needed to sustain a marriage.

    • Great November 23, 2009 at 5:40 PM

      Oh my, this so on point!!! I’m invitng all my single friends to read this.

    • Abeni Ebony November 23, 2009 at 6:19 PM

      well written…

    • luvlife November 23, 2009 at 6:48 PM

      I fail to understand what you mean by marriage is not for everyone? Can you please explain?

    • Enorueno November 23, 2009 at 7:44 PM

      Whatever yr destination, the plane can crash. We all take chances sometimes, the people that are worse off and who never achieve anything are those who don’t take a chance. Hey, I’m not saying jump on whatever plane and take whatever BS is tossed yr way. I’m saying, we are all so imperfect and two people coming together to live as one can be so challenging, but a marriage for the right reasons and on a solid foundation is what we should all pray and work towards. If you say you’re on the other side and you see the weeds, have they sent you packing? Your advice, while good and solid, is hard for an African woman to take in completely, we may never admit it, but at some point we’re crying in our hearts daily because our society is cruel (explicitly or implicitly) to the single unmarried woman.

    • enkay November 23, 2009 at 8:05 PM

      Please note: This comment is not from enkay, the BN contributor.

    • Glory Edozien November 23, 2009 at 9:13 PM

      I love the line ” If you don’t board the plane, is your life in danger?”….perfectly depicted!…

    • Cha November 23, 2009 at 9:38 PM

      While this is all well written, and consoling. In my opinion, as someone who knows where the shoe hurts. If waiting was such an easy thing to do, nobody will be in the wrong marriage. One of the things that come with waiting in the “fry” is that you are expected to be happy while you “roast”, you become a branded object of riducle and people’s tongue will attribute all sorts of things to you, including thinking you are a hideous gay..or bewitched from a village relative. Again, if waiting was so easy and natural, nobody will go to Alaska, and the airport environment can become uncomfortable still after all the facials and massage. C.C

    • luvlife November 23, 2009 at 10:06 PM

      That’s why you pray before going on any journey and you have the faith that God is directing you. With marriage you have to be absolutely convinced that you are led by God to make the decision to settle with whomever you choose. Having said that, there are forces of Good and evil and we humans have to unfortunately contend with evil. A child of God is however comforted that he/she is on the right foundation and that foundation is unshakable. This goes for the single unmarried woman; once you love yourself and embrace who you are, people will come to you. You just have to hold on to faith as strongly as you cling to life. (sorry didn’t mean to write a sermon)

    • Deedee November 23, 2009 at 10:38 PM

      loved this piece, loved the analogy, will definitely by (prayerfully) waiting for my first-class flight to hawaii!

    • Tope November 23, 2009 at 11:44 PM

      God bless you Enorueno. Your response is the perfect balance that this article needs. Nigerian society in particular is inexplicably and explicity cruel to the single woman. Ask any single woman in her 30s and she will have stories to tell.

      Ekene, your heart is in the right place and you make some very solid and valid points. It’s just that reading this article, even before you admit to being married, one can tell that you are, and so, while you may think you can relate, the truth is that you really can’t. To be honest, I fear you may have oversimplified this very complex issue. I am not advocating that women should jump and marry the first guy that asks, but the reality is, as time wears on, it will be naive to assume that a woman for whom marriage is important can afford to simply continue to wait, possibly in perpetuity for some ideal. With the onset of age, our options and prospects for marriage as African women dwindle because of our societal values, and of course, there’s the stubborn issue of our biological clocks. Unlike men, our reproductive capabilities decline significantly with age. Unlike men, we do not have the power dynamic in our favour when it comes to initiating relationships.

      When a man goes after a woman, it is because he has seen in that woman something to which he is attracted, and so from the start, a man has far better odds of getting the mate he wants because from the onset he doesnt ever have to go after someone he’s not interested in – he can almost literally choose and select as it were. A woman however doesnt always have this luxury and is usually left at the mercy of the men who happen to find her desirable, men who she may or may not feel the same way about. This happens frequently enough and a woman will at some point have to address the gulf between what she wants and what is available to her. To suggest that if we all wait long enough, what we want will eventually come to us makes for a nice fairytale but in reality is hardly ever the case. Life isn’t always fair, we don’t always get our prayers answered, things don’t always work out in the end, and not every single woman out there will marry her prince charming if she waits long enough. Most married women I know have compromised in some way or the other, and this isn’t always necessarily a bad thing.

      I’m not sure that it is helpful to continue to perpetuate this idea which we as females have been raised on, of this knight in shining armour that will come to us and give us some utopian Hawaiian picture of marriage. The truth is, in life I have found that even those that thought they were marrying the man of their dreams woke up sometime into their marriage and the dream had turned into a nightmare. So if one then waits and waits and waits for this plane bound for Hawaii and the plan finally lands, purportedly headed to Hawaii but enroute, encounters some severe turbulence and has to head to Alaska? What then?

      And more importantly, is there really someone who can promise another a Hawaii of marriage? Isnt every single marriage laden with the potential to be either Hawaii or Alaska, depending on what the travellers make of it?

      I think the real issue we need to address is this. For too long, we women have over romanticised the institution of marriage. I am a hopeless romantic myself and I want what I want. I am starting to realise though that as with everything else in life, chasing perfection is bound to be a futile exercise, so I have to take stock and assess my options. Determine what my real needs are. What my motivation for marriage is based on. The picture perfect, the pragmatic or a combination of both? What must I absolutely have in a partner and what would be nice to have? What have I always thought I must have, which in reality I really could do without. What are my deal makers and deal breakers. Pretty much the exercise that you say your friend was engaging in. The man she was considering had by your own admission a lot of qualities she had wanted, and some too that she had hoped to do without. She needed to determine what she could and couldnt live with and off the back of that analysis chart her next step with that man, not dismiss him off hand. No woman should dive into a situation she has assessed will lead to trouble, but every woman who has been waiting I believe owes herself an honest reappraisal of her options, and her wish list. Without this, I fear we are setting ourselves up for some major disillusionment because it may well turn out that Mr Right whom we had all assumed would show up as a matter of course if we waited long enough may never turn up afterall, and we’d have waited only to never marry, or to end up marrying the Mr not so Right we had despised 10 years before…

    • Friend of Zara November 24, 2009 at 2:52 AM

      brilliantly written. i couldnt have done it better myself.

    • Mina November 24, 2009 at 5:10 AM

      Love Love Love it!!!

    • ngozi November 24, 2009 at 5:17 AM

      i couldn’t have said it any better.bravo

    • Komi November 24, 2009 at 5:59 AM

      I understand and somewhat agree with your point, however, you’re stating what society has always practiced. The message (as I comprehend it) is that we need to move on from these societal norms of a woman’s romantic future being decided by a man, and have just as much power to decide who and what we want. This piece is not about waiting for a knight in shining armor or prince charming, it’s about waiting for what you believe you truly deserve (and like she said, as long as your expectations are not based on superficial nonsense, but on solid, Godly values). Concerning the biological clock part, this is becoming less of an issue everyday, because more and more women are able and are having healthy babies in their later years thanks to healthcare.

      No one ever said marriage was easy, but once again, if you’re starting out on a not so level ground, by compromising yourself just to say “i’m married” or for your family to be happy, imagine just how much more difficult that marriage will be. It may or may not always be beautiful Hawaii forever, only God knows, but we have to allow ourselves the best possible beginning that we can.

    • winneR November 24, 2009 at 4:53 PM

      Is this the author of that novel:The Mrs Club?
      I found the book( d cover art was quite hilarious)quite interesting.
      This write up is truly insightful.Bin single’s quite manageable,but on some days(esp aft a beautiful BellaNaija wedding feature),i jus feel like tearing my hair out,wonderin WHEN WIL I QUIT DIS JOINT!!!!!!!!!.
      But posts like these bring me solace & hope in the tot of a blissful marriage that is sure 2 come 2 me…SOON,Insha Allah.Amin.
      Tanx Ekene,we truly appreciate d pep talk.
      There was a similar write up a while ago on dis forum,many tanx 2 dat writer as wel.
      I’m gonna save dis & peruse wit all d others i hav,wen i have my off days.

    • winneR November 24, 2009 at 5:25 PM

      Hello Cha,
      I totally agree dat it is no walk in d park playin d waitin game(actually,it can b a downright TORTURE FEST)
      Nothing good comes easy+pple wil ALWAYS talk!!!
      D only person who shd matter is U!!!
      Dont let any1 goad u into an economy class,one way ticket 2 ALASKA!
      U owe it 2 ur sef 2 look out 4 ur se,act in d best interest of U!!no mata wat any1 says.

    • me November 24, 2009 at 7:56 PM

      OK i dont think the artcile is saying wait and do nothing. Like she menntioned while waiting shop (plug in “casually date people”), get a massage (plug in “agree to go on dates your friends set up”), get a facial (plug in “attend singles fellowships”)

      So you see, waiting for your flight to Hawaii does not mean you will sit in your chair and wait for prince charming to come and scoop you up on his provate jet.

      The truth is “I can do bad on my own”. I will rather be single dealing with heartache from only my issues, than married dealing with double trouble. And when i say heartache, i am not refering to the trails of marriage, i am refering to the major issues you can encouter because you didnt wait on the Lord (abusive husband to you and your children, cheating husband,blah blah blah)

    • zibar November 24, 2009 at 9:02 PM

      ooh lala…and to think i just had one of those “oh woe is me”conversations with a friend….God must have wanted to tap me..lightly..so on point…..and i am seconding that InshaAllahu…AMIN!

    • Sherri November 25, 2009 at 12:11 AM

      the analogy is ludicrous!
      marriage is not a destination nor is it a vacation.
      any avid traveller will attest to the fact that no matter how great the amenities it has or how nice a airport may be, you can’t wait to board your flight to your destination.

      and the “waiting for a mate” just piques me!
      that implies females putting their life on hold and waiting for the magical man to show up! in this day and age? what the heck for?
      come on ladies, we need to stand up to society and refused to be fed the age old crap about the need to be married by a certain age or the need to be married period! we can define and chart the course of our own lives.

      i am not anti marriage, as i am newly married.

    • silva November 25, 2009 at 3:46 AM

      does d true fiery love exixt sef?

    • Ashanti November 25, 2009 at 5:57 AM

      WHOEVER YOU ARE, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU!
      I WISH THE ENTIRE WORLD COULD GET A PIECE OF THIS WRITING. YOU COULD’NT HAVE PUT IT ANY BETTER.
      MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND MARRIAGE FOR THIS HONEST TRUTH.

    • Cyphii November 25, 2009 at 11:24 AM

      @ Sherri…I am male and would have to disagree with you. You say you are newly married so I’m guessing you are just into it. I’ve been married for a while and can really relate with the analogy. Marriage is a trip, it’s the rest of your life and you ain’t travelling alone. Think of the destination as what you want your marriage to be like and then you will be able to relate to the story.

      No one is saying wait and be idle…or that you have to marry at a particular age or its all over. What’s being said is if you are going to marry, best you get it right first time. Believe me there’s nothing more horrible than being stuck in an essence sucking marriage coupled with the emotional stress of maintaining a facade of all being well.

    • Jadesola November 27, 2009 at 6:15 PM

      I thought this was a brilliant article. Even though I’m in my early 20′s, many of my friends are already feeling stressed that they haven’t found “the one” yet. But at the end of the day, isn’t it worth waiting if it means you’ll find that true love? After all, when you compromise, you only cheat yourself. While I wait, I take the time to better myself and get closer to God, so that when that person comes, I am 100% complete and ready to share my love with them.

    • kiki rantngs November 29, 2009 at 5:57 PM

      so true marriage is not, has never been a destination its rather a journey you embark on and along the way you learn alot you make mistakes you correct them and for the records no one forces you into t you choose to be there.and for petes sake can we women stop giving excuses the truth is we all want to be married someday.nobody puts pressure on you if you do not want it.am at an age where they say ladies start getting pressured guess what no pressure here am not giving a hoot because if and when i marry it has to be for love and all the right reasons my parents only got seperated by death and i know what love and happiness means

    • Purpleicious babe December 8, 2009 at 4:29 AM

      I like this article. I pray the good Lord will take place in our hearts, as the bible says everything has a season. We should not be fazed by these marriage issues, instead we should invest in making ourselves available for God to perfect all the imperfections in our life and make us ready for d ONE. Marriage is not full of bed n roses, so dont get it twisted, it takes 2 tango.

    • reen April 1, 2010 at 2:44 PM

      nice piece. i think i would wait and confirm wen Hawaii flights will begin take off.who knows, while am in the waiting lounge, another equally “frustrated” Hawaiin passenger will sight his “shes d one’ (me)…(U no pple say they no it wen they see him/her) from where his seating and come chat me up and things get rolling n then i imagine askin me “now wasnt it worth d wait”? or what do u think? cos d thing is that if e no b panadol e no fit b. i wont go to any alaska cos that wasnt my destinantion in d first place pleazz. ..

    • lala April 10, 2010 at 12:12 PM

      thankyou for speaking to me

    • xyz November 10, 2010 at 3:47 PM

      @ sherri.. wats ur point?………..beautiful write up

    • desiresuzy January 30, 2011 at 2:40 PM

      dis is brillant.

    • Benny June 7, 2011 at 7:36 PM

      I agree wt you Cyphii and the article too. this union called marriage is a trip. when you pay for it and when you take off, there is no stopping along the way and if you try to stop, you may be hurt emotionally not only, your entire family. so it a LOOK B4 YOU LEAP!!!.

    • Geoff July 19, 2011 at 9:35 PM

      What a load of rubbish! Desperate, misconceived, and pandering towards indecisive middle-aged underachievers

      • Eve82 July 17, 2013 at 9:00 AM

        Geoff you lost me there…