“Mr. Fantastic!” – After 10 Years in Marriage, Fela Durotoye’s New Book reveals “How to Know If He Is The Right Man For You”

Posted on Tuesday, August 16th, 2011 at 4:01 PM

By Gbenga Awomodu

Many marriages have crashed after fabulous weddings and many people have ended up in ‘a manage’ as opposed to a happy marriage.

Motivational speaker and management consultant, Fela Durotoye, in his latest offering, “Mr. Fantastic” seeks to address the questions raised by many women who are rather doubtful if they are in relationship with the RIGHT man.

Fela, whose marriage is ten years old this year opines, “You are better off not getting married than getting divorced… The purpose of this book (Mr. Fantastic) is to ensure that fewer marriages are dissolved because the link between strong marriages and strong nations is so critical. For me, this book is an important tool in ensuring that fewer marriages break up because the family unit is the smallest unit in a nation.

For the hundreds of thousands who keep asking, “Fela, how do I know if the guy I’m with is THE RIGHT MAN?”, in a similar fashion to his last book, he outlines seventeen (17) key areas to help readers discover so many things about their man.

God has helped me to develop the 17 qualities of this dream guy. I’m sure you’ll be totally blown away by this Mr. Fantastic!” he says.

In this publication he recognizes that there’s no WRONG man, but the one you’re with may not be the RIGHT ONE FOR YOU.

Here are excerpts from “Mr. Fantastic”:

“In a successful marriage, home is your favourite place to be. Please note that ‘home’ here is not the same thing as ‘house.’ House is where you live; home is what you live in. A house is built by sand, cement and water while a home is built by Love, peace and joy….

So, how do we go from having ‘manages’ to have ‘marriages?’ It is not just the capacity to get people to stay together that is the important thing ,but also the capacity to get people to love being together. And so, if we can build strong marriages, we will build strong families; if we build strong families, we will have strong generations.

It is sad that some people tend to take their careers more seriously than their marriage, but the truth be told; there can hardly be any true career success if your marriage has failed. Marital challenges have been known to ruin the best career opportunities.
As you read this book, it is one thing for you to know how to assess this guy; it is another thing not only to be able to assess yourself, but also to be able to ask yourself if he finds you intolerable or compatible?

I think that in the course of marriage, there is nothing that cannot change. But to bet that something will change may be asking for much. Always ask yourself, what if it doesn’t change? If the situation remains the same, what are you going to do? One of the most interesting things people say after marriage is, ‘He saw me the way I was and he married me that way, now he is demanding that I change.’

It is unthinkable how strong the link between successful marriages and national development is, yet more people still go into marriage thinking, ‘I think he loves me,’ ‘He is just so fine,’ and all those superficial things. And then when its ‘crying time’ as they say, they begin to talk about the things that they knew were there but they didn’t think were important enough.

A broken marriage does not just hurt the persons involved, it hurts everyone; their children (if they do have children), their parents, their siblings and even their friends. This is the reason why parents need to buy this book for their children; it is the reason why friends need to give this book as a gift to a friend who is dating or considering a serious relationship – this is the guide.

This is the most critical time to stand in integrity and ask, ‘Can I really live with this?’ Marriages do not fail because of the things you can live with, marriages fail because of the things you can’t live with. Most times, people knew they couldn’t live with certain things but they said maybe they could.

So as you read, ladies, evaluate the qualities your guy has and guys, (you thought I didn’t expect you to read it?) check yourself to determine how well you rate and make sure you give scores and determine where you fit in at the end of the book. I have developed a model which we will use to effectively assess your relationship. Are you ready to find out if you’re with Mr. Fantastic? Let’s go!” – FelaDUROTOYE, 2011

The book will be launched in Lagos on Sunday 11 September 2011, though interested readers can pre-order copies to get a double relationship autograph from Fela and, his wife, Tara. Thereafter, there will be book signings at leading bookshops across the country. To pre-order, call +234 805 561 7348.

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  • 55 Comments on ““Mr. Fantastic!” – After 10 Years in Marriage, Fela Durotoye’s New Book reveals “How to Know If He Is The Right Man For You””

    Comments
    • cathy August 16, 2011 at 4:05 PM

      fantastic read

    • adaeze August 16, 2011 at 4:06 PM

      can’t wait to read it

    • Kemchi August 16, 2011 at 4:06 PM

      Lol at the book cover. Any chance those of us outside Naija can buy? I totally agree with the fact that marriages fail not because of the things you can live with but because of the things you cannot live with! Gbam, sooooooo very true. There is no managing what you cannot stand. Let it go if you cannot live with it o.

    • adaeze August 16, 2011 at 4:07 PM

      those are my kind of books……….especially since we are still waitn…lol

      • moinmoin bangs August 16, 2011 at 7:03 PM

        maiii deaaar….lol!

    • Kofo August 16, 2011 at 4:09 PM

      Can’t wait to get my hands on a copy

    • miss o August 16, 2011 at 4:20 PM

      Mrand Mrs Durotoye better stick together………….they better not breakup i repeat

      • tatafo August 16, 2011 at 6:18 PM

        bad belle is not good for your health.

    • oluwatosin August 16, 2011 at 4:23 PM

      Really lookin forward to buying a copy!

    • Teena August 16, 2011 at 4:46 PM

      How much is the book? seems interesting.

    • love-me-jeje August 16, 2011 at 4:54 PM

      married. but must read this! some men are made in heaven while others are made in oven. sikina!

    • Jay1 August 16, 2011 at 5:03 PM

      Nice name for the book also the write up ‘Fantastic’ Looking forward to read my mentors book

    • Chinwe August 16, 2011 at 6:22 PM

      I look forward to grabbing my copy too. Trust it will in deed be “fantastic”

    • Babe August 16, 2011 at 6:23 PM

      FD posted some excerpts of this book on facebook sometime ago…I remember copying it then and storing it safely in my archive. Can’t wait for the full book! Well done FD..such an inspiration to Nigerian youths.

    • Lamzy August 16, 2011 at 6:26 PM

      Will definately be reading dis 1…’Mr Fantastic’,lol

    • Disbabe August 16, 2011 at 6:38 PM

      cant wait, he speaks regularly at my church here.. The guys has wisdom

    • aosgrl August 16, 2011 at 6:39 PM

      He should consider self publishing to Amazon’s kindle for those of us outside the country.

    • Purpleicious Babe August 16, 2011 at 6:48 PM

      I

    • Purpleicious Babe August 16, 2011 at 6:50 PM

      I want some ( OK, MAYBE ONE OR TWO)…. pls put on AMAZON OHH… OR A website that is legit to purchase from.

      I pray their marriage will be stronger each day and they will be example to millions of GENERATIONS….

    • Aibee August 16, 2011 at 7:24 PM

      Hurray! ?I read the series when FD made the Facebook Notes sometime last year. The tests he set still guide my assessment of guides till date. Definitely grabbing my copies NooooooooooW!

      • Sandy April 2, 2012 at 5:13 AM

        pls can i get d guides? winks

    • Damilola Oluwatoyinbo August 16, 2011 at 7:24 PM

      Awesome. It’s great to know that this book will soon be available to the public.
      A fantastic book written by a fantastic man with the support of a fantastic wife.
      Reading this book will be a fantastic decision.

      • Lolo October 18, 2011 at 5:00 AM

        I agree pastor Dami!

    • na so August 16, 2011 at 7:49 PM

      wow!!!!!!!!! this is what am talking about! similar to td jakes the lady her lover n her lord but mr fantastic hits reality on the head no preaching! tell it like it is!….lol across the country book signing should reach asaba too *wink*

    • AJCiti August 16, 2011 at 9:43 PM

      I hope the book contains more substance than the exercpt above. I found the points in the exercpt to be really obvious and things that I’ve read before/ already knew on my own like thinking you can live with something when really you cant, duh.

      Anyways, anyone who has been maried successfully for 10 years must have some value to offer so I won’t rule out reading the book. Has anyone read “What Daddy Should have Told [his little girl]” by Tony Gaskins? The book is more targeted to Black American woman but it’s a good read nonetheless. I think people need to work on developing their relationship skills as much as any other life skills.

      • ugowoundo August 17, 2011 at 5:06 PM

        i like this sister…are u a life coach or something?

    • pynk August 17, 2011 at 9:05 AM

      hmm another relationship book. wouldnt mind reading it sha, since its from a Nigerian POV.

    • Kathryn Cage August 17, 2011 at 9:07 AM

      In all things good there must be some person telling us they have seen it or read it before, why did you not share it, rubbish! Is this Ajcity person trying to discredit Mr. Durotoye’s work? Don’t even go there Aj, you are so annoying….

      • Naveah August 18, 2011 at 4:16 PM

        Kathryn,
        Haba abeg, relax:) AJCiti is not trying to discredit the author’s work, what she is saying is true to her perspective. The excerpt is not providing any original insight, she’s right. If you’ve watched Oprah or Dr. Phil or read any self help books on relationships you can read the same things even if it’s worded differently. All that AJC is saying is that she hopes the rest of the book provides an original point of view and insight into relationships especially since it’s coming from a MAN’s view point AND said man as been married for 10 years, a life time these days. There is nothing wrong in questioning things, no be her money she go take go buy the book? When people buy these types of books, they are looking to read something extraordinary, nobody wants to spend money on ideas they’ve already possessed or glimpse from another book or a night out with the girls.

    • uzor August 17, 2011 at 10:11 AM

      sounds interesting…………………. can’t wait to read the complete book.@ Aibee could u please send the link for the assessment guide.

    • DANIEL AJUMOBI August 17, 2011 at 11:02 AM

      Can’t wait to get a copy … My Mentor – You have arrived again. Kudos Sir.

    • Joksjegs August 17, 2011 at 11:23 AM

      nice one from you great mentor cant wait to have it…………congrats on your ANNIVERSARY. Rgds to ur Fantastic wife who gave me a fantastic service 4my wedding

    • pretty August 17, 2011 at 12:25 PM

      God Blesss Fela Durotoyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

    • saphya August 17, 2011 at 1:01 PM

      nice! nobody shud endure marriage,it shud be enjoyed.

    • Bolanle Shodiya August 17, 2011 at 1:06 PM

      This is mind blowing, cant wait to book my copy. This is just fact that some of us fail to see and address. I thank God for the gift he gave to you for the production of the piece. More Greece to your elbow. I wanna be in the position of telling people truth about situation.

    • chi August 17, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      Please how can i buy a copy

    • Prosper Odumodu August 17, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      This encyclopedia is simply decisive .It will go a long way to mend broken marriages and as well as re direct relatioships to marriages even at the verge of collapse.I hereinafter recommend this masterpies to be read by all and intending couples,as well as all adults.

    • tenionabanjo August 17, 2011 at 11:02 PM

      This is a very nice piece,divorce is rampant now.this wld be a life saver to many married people out there and all others courting…

    • mamav August 18, 2011 at 12:40 AM

      Fela &tara beta stick togeda till d end o.i have been marraed 10years too, i still dont kknow it all. Dont go making money on something u dont understand yet. Marriage is a school, there is no magic to it and no 2 marriages are the same.

    • Nkili August 18, 2011 at 4:13 PM

      Will definitely be buying this. it’s be nice to read a naija man’s perpective on making a marriage work.

      Check out my blog for the new Nigerian fantasy wirter making waves on blogville
      http://www.nkili.wordpress.com

    • Chika August 20, 2011 at 7:12 AM

      Hopefully, it’ll be extraordinary. Its Fela Durotoye, I would expect him to exceptional, he shows he loves his career. Why would he spoil it in a book?! As AJCiti stated ‘I hope the book contains more substance than the exercpt above.’ I hope to read it too. Nice name for a start -”Mr Fantastic”

    • Martina August 29, 2011 at 3:41 PM

      Well done! I need to buy a copy for myself, sisters and friend. Thanks

    • chubaba August 29, 2011 at 6:35 PM

      i’m Pre-Ordering already!!!

    • my generation loves to be deceived August 30, 2011 at 8:58 PM

      people like to be deceived a lot. no secret to anything than working on yourself. What works for A doesnt necessarily work for B. Humans in this age are so self centred, ego centric and selfish. Most of you have read so many relationship books buh what has come of it? Peopla have standards, high taste and personality/attitudinal problems. Thousands of single men and single ladies outside yet both gender say there is no good man, there is no good lady or all men are the same/all ladies are same. Work on yourself, get broken down by God and get to your bible.

      • Gidi October 18, 2011 at 10:38 AM

        seconded. I don’t read these self help books.They are just making money out of folks by generalizing issues from their personal perspectives.
        If Dr. Phil knew so much why did he get divorced?
        No two marriages are the same. Apply God’s word to your situation and stop patronising all these motivational gurus who are nothing but business men.

    • flakky August 31, 2011 at 12:12 PM

      God bless you….

    • timilehin September 2, 2011 at 11:47 AM

      cant wait to get it

    • omitade temitope September 7, 2011 at 11:21 AM

      How can I get a copy cos it a most for me to have one

    • Peter Obor September 9, 2011 at 1:07 PM

      That is true Sir, Thanks so Much for Helping our Youth.

    • Kemi Afolabi September 14, 2011 at 2:12 PM

      please how do one get a copy, or which bookshop should we go?. Please provide us information.

    • kem September 15, 2011 at 10:27 AM

      people get married for so many wrong reasons that seem right, God help us to marry for friendship, love, companionship, commitment. amen ohhhhh,
      must read for all, God bless you sir

    • okwusi gloria September 23, 2011 at 2:18 PM

      I THINK DAT BOOK IS D BEST BOOK 4 MI RIGHT NOW,I CNT WAIT 2 READ IT

    • olubunmi sanni September 30, 2011 at 6:05 PM

      Can’t wait to lay my hands on 2copies.

    • Oluwamayowa October 8, 2011 at 9:38 AM

      This is indeed a book for our GENERATION… You need to have the right mindsets to give it to others, Kudos to you Mr Fela Durotoye. I have read quite a number of your books and I made bold to say that they are RHEMA for the world to read. More grace and God bless you sir. CONGRATULATIONS.

    • Joyce Ochemeh November 25, 2011 at 7:30 PM

      From the excerpts, i can tell it contains more….Really cant wait to read the whole package.