“In Nigeria, You’re Either Somebody or Nobody” by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani
Posted on Sunday, February 10th, 2013 at 7:55 PMBy BellaNaija.com
Published in the New York Times Opinion Section on the 9th of February 2013 {Link}
In America, all men are believed to be created equal and endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. But Nigerians are brought up to believe that our society consists of higher and lesser beings. Some are born to own and enjoy, while others are born to toil and endure.
The earliest indoctrination many of us have to this mind-set happens at home. Throughout my childhood, “househelps” — usually teenagers from poor families — came to live with my family, sometimes up to three or four of them at a time. In exchange for scrubbing, laundering, cooking, baby-sitting and everything else that brawn could accomplish, either they were sent to school, or their parents were sent regular cash.
My father detested it when our househelps sang. Each time a new one arrived, my siblings and I spent the first few evenings as emissaries from the living room, where our family watched TV after dinner, to the kitchen, where the househelps washed dishes or waited to be summoned.
“My daddy said I should tell you to stop singing.”
Immediately, they would shush. Often, they forgot and started again — if not that same evening, on a subsequent one. Finally, my father would lose his imperial cool, stomp over to the kitchen and stand by the door.
“Stop singing!” he would command.
That usually settled the matter.
I honestly cannot blame my father. Although they hailed from different villages across the land, their melodies were always the same: The most lugubrious tunes in the most piercing tones, which made you think of death.
Melancholic singing was not the only trait they had in common. They all gave off a feral scent, which never failed to tell the tale each time they abandoned the wooden stools set aside for them and relaxed on our sofas while we were out. They all displayed a bottomless hunger that could never be satisfied, no matter how much you heaped on their plates or what quantity of our leftovers they cleaned out.
And they all suffered from endless tribulations, in which they always wanted to get you involved.
The roof of their family house got blown off by a rainstorm. Their mother just had her 11th baby and the doctor had seized mum and newborn, pending payment of the hospital bill. Their brother, an apprentice trader in Aba, was wrongfully accused of stealing from his boss and needed to be bailed out. A farmland tussle had left their father lying half-dead in hospital, riddled with machete wounds. Their mother’s auntie, a renowned witch, had cursed their sister so that she could no longer hear or speak. They were pregnant but the carpenter responsible was claiming he had never met them before … Always one calamity after the other.
Househelps were widely believed to be scoundrels and carriers of disease. The first thing to do when a new one arrived was drag him off to the laboratory for blood tests, the results of which would determine whether he should be allowed into your haven. The last thing to do when one was leaving was to search him for stolen items. In one memorable incident, the help in my friend’s house, knowing that her luggage would be searched, donned all the children’s underwear she had stolen. And she nearly got away with it. But just as she stepped out the door, my friend’s mother noticed that the girl’s hips had broadened beyond what food could afflict on the human anatomy in such little time, and insisted that she raise her skirt.
Every family we knew had similar stories about their domestic staff. With time, we children learned to think of them as figures depressed by the hand of nature below the level of the human species, as if they had been created only as a useful backdrop against which we were to shine.
Not much has changed since I was a child. My friend’s daughter, who attends one of those schools where all the students are children of either well-off Nigerians or well-paid expatriates, recently captured this attitude while summarizing the plot of my novel to her mother. “Three people died,” the 11-year-old said, “but one of them was a poor man.”
It reminded me of the conversation in Mark Twain’s “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” when Huck tries to explain a delay in a journey:
“It warn’t the grounding — that didn’t keep us back but a little. We blowed out a cylinder-head.”
“Good gracious! anybody hurt?”
“No’m. Killed a nigger.”
“Well, it’s lucky; because sometimes people do get hurt.”
BIGOTS and racists exist in America, without a doubt, but America today is a more civilized place than Nigeria. Not because of its infrastructure or schools or welfare system. But because the principle of equality was laid out way back in its Declaration of Independence. The Nigerian Constitution states, in Section 17(2)(a), that “every citizen shall have equality of rights, obligations and opportunities before the law.” However, this provision is in a portion of the document that contains “objectives” of the Nigerian state. It is not enforceable; it certainly isn’t reality.
The average Nigerian’s best hope for dignified treatment is to acquire the right props. Flashy cars. Praise singers. Elite group membership. British or American accent. Armed escort. These ensure that you will get efficient service at banks and hospitals. If the props prove insufficient, a properly bellowed “Do you know who I am?” could very well do the trick.
This somebody-nobody mind-set is at the root of corruption and underdevelopment: ingenuity that could be invested in moving society forward is instead expended on individuals’ rising just one rung higher, and immediately claiming their license to disparage and abuse those below. Even when one househelp is made supervisor over the rest, he ends up being more callous than the owners of the house.
Some years ago, I made a decision to start treating domestic workers as “somebodys.” I said “please” and “thank you” and “if you don’t mind.” I smiled for no reason. But I was only confusing them; they knew how society worked. They knew that somebodys gave orders and kicked them around. Anyone who related to them as an equal was no longer deserving of respect. Thus, the vicious cycle of oppression goes on and on.
Nigeria is one of Africa’s largest economies; it produces around two million barrels of crude oil per day. And yet, in 2010, 61 percent of Nigerians were living in “absolute poverty” — able to afford only the bare essentials of shelter, food and clothing. In one state in northern Nigeria, where extremist groups like Boko Haram originate, poverty levels that year were as high as 86.4 percent.
Economic growth will continue to bypass the majority, the gap between rich and poor will continue to widen, so long as we see ourselves as divided between somebodys and nobodys. Only when that changes will the househelps sing more cheerful tunes.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani is the author of the novel “I Do Not Come to You by Chance” and a fellow with the African Leadership Institute. This article was first published by New York Times
Tags: Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani
And the point of this article is…
You took that question right out of my mouth…don’t make sense
Hey BN, you didn’t complete the article, hence my previous comment
Honestly, in America, they are taught that all men are equal in school. But reality does in America contradicts that. At least in Nigeria, people are not deceived to believe that society is fair. I don understand however what you mean. Human life is human life. All of it is precious.
My point exactly.
Perhaps the author hasn’t lived in America for a long time or is trying to appease Americans but honestly, the same thing happens here. There is no difference.
In fact, I’d argue that this happens all over the world.
Thank you! The only difference is Americans do theirs with a fake facade. Besides you can not compare Nigeria to USA,it’s like comparing an infant to an old man! Try comparing with another third world country. I don’t remember Househelps in my house then treated as such, they were treated equally like the rest of us, they blended in seamlessly, no lab tests nor search conducted upon entry or exit. We were NEVER to call them helps nor see them as such, I even used to tutor some of them on Math, Physics & Chemistry, the ones I was older than, as some of them had good academic potentials.
You made househelps sound like a bad system, but I believe differently, my family impacted greatly on the families of these individuals, gave these teenagers the exposure, they can leave when they want. One was brought in at age 9, he is 36 now and still with us as family, another person was brought in to replace him. This is a way for mid-class families to aid the lower class who wants to. No family here in USA would take in a live-in-maid and send that person to school while taking care of their family financially. It’s a good system but both parties must investigate before starting the relationship.
I would rather these teenagers be employed as helps than them turning into robbers & prostitutes out of poverty level!
SO MUCH ON POINT! MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR THE COMMENT!
That is a lie. Americans treat each other with more respect.
The person that is serving burgers at McDonalds has way more respect and gets way more respect than the person serving burgers at Sweetsensation or Mr.Biggs #fact
Very true Ofili!
Please thank you. people’s reaction to this piece shows that they are excatly the type of people Adaobi writes about: they see no wrong in their attitude and then go on to defend it giving reasons why they think its not entirely true. It is true. All of it. Accept it and make a change today. Using your P’s and Q’s wont kill anyone.
Errr, looks like you’re mixing respect with good/bad customer service.
Word. Don’t mind them…talking nonsense.
—->what “just saying” said!! America is not as equal as y’all think
BTW, i have written a couple of comments that do not insult anybody or include vulgar language that were not posted by your moderators, pray tell, what are your “terms and conditions” for posting comments?
I think you should have a section/segment or a note that clearly states what you will post and what you wont, for transparency and accountability both by the BN team and commenters, like moi.
and the aim of this article is..?
The article is not complete. BN should have stated that. You guys need to click on the link on top to read the full article.
It has been updated. Please refresh your page. Thank you.
i love adaobi can’t wait for her next book….
me too. She is soo talented. Her article is on-point. the Average househelp in Nigeria is seen as non-human. Dirty. Often they have to use their own plate , fork, cup and arent allowed to use the one that the family uses. I mean seriously lets call a spade a spade! Nigeria is an extremely classist society!
America has not always been the way she described. It took the Women’s right movement and then the Civil rights movement to get to this point. And it is still far from perfect.
“BIGOTS and racists exist in America, without a doubt, but America today is a more civilized place than Nigeria.”
This is not the right place to start a discussion on “equality”. I would love to know what makes America more ‘civilized’ than Nigeria and that person’s definition of ‘civilization’. Is it when someone walks into an elementary school and blows away twenty innocent children and six adults. Is that civilized?
As I mentioned earlier, this happens all over the world, not just Nigeria. What I detest is when a Nigerian enforces the idea that Nigeria is somehow a less ‘civilized’ place because it doesn’t operate like America.
Let’s be careful of idolizing the US and making sweeping comparisons rooted in fantasy and half-truths.
this woman though she tries is naive about reality in america. Am an american born of nigerian parents, but no matter my education the first thing that is noticed is my skin, and that is the truth. granted in america newly coming africans try not to fit into the stereotype of the typical african american. We have the nigerian and cultural upbringing that forces us to stay above the stereotype of most ppl of our color. What am trying to say is that the constitution was there when slavery and segragation existed in america. women suffrage,civil wars and so many people have died to make sure equality is carried out as the constitution dictates, but even today nothing is perfect. Now on to nigeria, i believe naija’s biggest problem is its leaders and the constitution. We need a constitution for the people by the people, and where no one religion will have a sector that is superior to another as shariah does in the north. In my view nigeria is more than three countries of many different ideologies trying to work together, and unfortunately it is not working. Adaobi, i feel like you have fallen inlove with the fantasy of america in this age that you forgot it took years, decades to centuries even for americans to get and exercise what their constitution said. Nigeria’s constitution and judicial level in government is a joke that is no longer funny. Admire America all you must but dont ever compare america’s past and servitude to nigeria’s tradition of househelps. Have you heard of mexican immigrant workers, did you know why africans were brought to america… yes to work, except that some of the african slaves thought they were only going to serve seven years as indentured servants. Unfortunately the reality was different. Now in most nigerian homes, the domestic staff or maid is sent to school with the children,and most of the time are relatives of the employer one way or the other. Growing up in naija my family had a maid, whom my father gave housing and fed and catered to her children’s education all the way to uni and paid her salary. They lived in our house rent free, and growing up we saw the kids as our friends or even cousins since they were from our village. We respected our maid like our aunty and even called her aunty, we never truly saw her as a maid, for our parents made us to understand that this life is not perfect. It is how you are brought up that dictates how you treat others. most of the time she became more like mother to us than our own mother. Today her children have successfully finished uni and have good jobs courtesy of my parents kindness. Adaobi reading what you wrote, it sounds like your parents forgot or you decided not to respect your maid or people who worked for your family. Even in america the ideology of fingers not being equal is appearant in every society. That is life, and it isnt fair. There are even families that abuse their maids, but that never happened in my family. So my dear sister, your story is a single story, not that of everyone that had maids. In nigeria we are taught that no matter where you come from as long as your parents can pay for your school fees and you work had to study that the sky is your limit. I dont know what you were taught in your family, but my parents always told us Echi ndi ime, as in no one knows tomorrow, for the beggar that you give money today might be your helping hand tomorrow. No condition in life is permanent. We as NIGERIANS are taught that growing up. Basically you learn not to look down on people for tomorrow your fortunes might change, so adaobi please try next time not to generalize, for you just showed us the danger that can come from a single story. Yes nigeria is not perfect, but if our judicial branch was stronger and we had less corrupt politicians, nigeria would have been a government to reckon with. Dont try to appease others view of nigeria by also being ignorant of the potential of what makes us great. A maid or even a beggar might one day be your president, nothing is permanent in this life but change, you adaobi should know that very well.
I agree with you. The author did make sweeping generalizations. The only part of the article i agree with is where she mentions this mindset as it relates to leadership/political responsibilities and being the ‘root cause of corruption and underdevelopment’
very well said
take a high five !
Please thank you. people’s reaction to this piece shows that they are excatly the type of people Adaobi writes about: they see no wrong in their attitude and then go on to defend it giving reasons why they think its not entirely true. It is true. All of it. Accept it and make a change today. Using your P’s and Q’s wont kill anyone.
Which single story? How thick is that glass surrounding the rich/middle class bubble you live in? Are you kidding me? The majority of helps in Nigeria are treated like slaves. FACT. Your story and those suddenly crawling out of the woodwork on BN, are the one’s that are single stories. What Adaobi wrote is the norm. As I was reading this piece, I had flashbacks to the way I saw helps being treated in the homes of family and friends. I didn’t start speaking up and challenging till I was much older, and respect to an elderly person who is doing wrong, means jack to me. I don’t respect age per se, I respect actions. if your age cannot confer wisdom on you, don’t expect respect from me. Let’s not pretend please, Adaobi did not write fiction. You are only angry because it made us look bad, and so freaking what. You think the maid being maltreated as we speak cares about the image of Nigeria. Why are we so shallow like this. If we channel this anger we feel about our country being insulted into the government and its looting,w e will get somewhere. We seat back and hear this governor, that president wife, this aide flown abroad for treatment, and we keep quiet, meanwhile Iya Basira in general hospital has no access to medical care, or Uncle Chinedu’s son just died because there were no doctors or medical facilities to cure his disease. Nigerians disgust me, I swear. You would rather be angered that a foreign media printed this article, than do something about the ones under your nose. You sit behind the comfort of your computer, displaying your anger. You should feel very small, this article should shame us all, myself included that we’ve kept quiet and let so much injustice take place, but because we are comfortable, we basically don’t send the aboki down the road. Forget personal ego, or country loyalty. How much more can you tarnish Nigeria’s image, the situation of the country, is doing a good job of that. This article is meant to provoke us into clamouring for change, and not to feel personally insulted because this issue is bigger than any personal affront we feel. America may not be perfect, but it has gotten to where it is today to an extent because groups of people have refused to accept status quo, people fought for the rights and liberties enjoyed in America today. Blood was spilled, there were riots in the streets. Rich and middle class people didn’t sit in their homes, feeling insulted that someone made them look bad. Look at the French Revolution. I watched Les Miserables a few days ago, and I left there sad, thinking this story written about the fight for liberation of the French people, will never happen in Nigeria. Like never, and let us be afraid, because the day the masses will rise up, they will attack us, we the comfortable ones, and take us down with them.
True Word.
amen to all you’ve said…thank you for saying it as it is
Like i said in LIB, this article annoys me. This author is talking out of her ass, how many families did she interview before writing this rubbish? What research did she do before coming to this conclusion. There are lots of families out there that treat their helps great (my family is a great example)! Just because she, her friends and their families treated their helps like slaves doesn’t give her the right to extrapolate their unruly behavior as the “norm” in other families that had/have house helps. MSTEEEW!
And to think this article was publish in New York Times! We in the diaspora are trying to change the negative reputation people have of Nigeria and Nigerians while you write this “unfounded” nonsensical of a story and even have the audacity to submit it for publishing! unbelievable! So annoyed with this author, seriously!
so you,a spoiled rich kid grew up treating your helps like scum , then you go the states, grow a conscience and all of a sudden want to give moral lessons. it’s folks like you and your friends that make naija difficult for the average joe on the streets
Oh and mistreatment of helps and workers is not a nigerian phenomenon. it happens everywhere in the world- even in America! just ask the mexicans and philipinos who work as domestic helps
Perhaps, but in the US the houshelps have legal recourse that househelps in Naija don’t have.
Now u r talking. D lack of legal recourse is something for, not just househelps but every employment. But, tell me something tho. Will d illegal immigrant who is running from d law seek legal recourse? Yes, in dat ur America, u imagine they do? Do u know what they are paid? How many hours they work?????? U imagine they are not treated like lepers as Adaobi’s family treated their slaves? Dat there aren’t wicked pple taking advantage of d system????? Lol. I laugh in Igbo. Na slave mentality dey worry all of una; massa massa. Massa is good & kind & fair. Where laws don’t operate or implemented, mean spirited pple take advantage, no matter d society.
Please, Nigeria is not run by Nigerians. The government of Nigeria is a front for Shell Oil who is the real government of Nigeria. This is another multinational corporation backed by European Might running one of Africa’s richest countries and allowing this caste system to continue and to flourish . It is the only way for them to exploit through deep seated humiliating division. But Blacks are self hatred treacherous to their brothers and sisters and so they gleefully comply to their masters.
I didn’t understand the article but I think some comments made more sense than the article..
What is more annoying is how some of those commenting are trying to act brand new; as if what the author wrote does not actually occur in Nigeria. I have witnessed many of these things myself in Nigeria and read about others here on BN and other media outlets. The fact is that there is generally a different system of justice/treatment for well-off Nigerians and another for poor Nigerians. That is the truth and there are numerous reports/features on BN that highlight this. I think what is bothering some people is that the author aired Nigeria’s dirty laundry on the NY Times and dared to compare Nigeria to the US (with Nigeria falling short). All I can say to those of you that are pissed is “ndo”.
Exactly my train of thoughts.
It is different to write with intent to tell the truth, but it is distasteful when generalize. We are not saying that circumstances like this dont occur in naija, of course it happens and even worse, what am saying is that she fails to understand that america is more than 183years older than nigeria, and not until the 1960s did people, even women straight getting treated kinda of equal to their counterparts. My problem is that though there are truths that is awful, even worse than she writes, she generalized and made it seem like it happens in all house hoods that have domestic helps. Maybe her maids werent related or even from her village, but i know most of these maids or domestic helps are usually close family friends or even ones cousins, they are not strangers picked from the street or war torn places. New york time publish this to show that even in the most populous black nation that being a maid or domestic help is worst than slavery they had created. I feel they did it to say, and yall thought we were horrible, look at your own africans. Yes the truth hurt, but sadly what she told is her truth as it relates to her, not mine. As for the so called mexicans you say atleast have some kind of aid, i beg, girl most of them are illegals so they have no supposed help or rights and if treated bad will never go to police perchance they would be deported. Adaobi is free to write what she wants, but she should know when people are making jest of her, and not exactly praising her. But goodluck to her in the future, i hope she would learn not to only tell a generalized story.
Yes, your below statement was my exact sentiment.
“I feel they did it to say, and yall thought we were horrible, look at your own africans. Yes the truth hurt, but sadly what she told is her truth as it relates to her, not mine.”
The author’s article was an “opinion” piece, which was clearly stated. America’s age is irrelevant to this issue because America has always been on a progressive trend towards a more perfect Union while as Nigeria has regressed since its independence. I am sure that there are many households where the house help were treated humanely, but that is actually besides the point of the author’s article. She merely used house help scenarios to highlight a pervasive problem in Nigerian society: the disparate treatment between well-off Nigerians versus poor Nigerians. It is a huge problem in Nigeria and is contributing to the underdevelopment of the country and is a dividend of corruption (like many other social problems in Nigeria). This problem is found in various contexts. For example, well-off Nigerians (especially the political class) have the means to – and do – travel abroad to access quality healthcare in developed countries and their poorer counterparts are stuck with Nigeria’s under-developed health system…and suffer for it. Many Nigerian’s cannot even afford the healthcare that does exist in Nigeria. If well-off Nigerians were unable to travel abroad for healthcare then maybe the necessary investments would be made to improve Nigeria’s healthcare system and to make it accessible to all. See what President Obama did with The Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) in the US. He fought to ensure that millions of uninsured Americans would have access to healthcare in their own country (and not have to fly abroad to get medical care).
Exactly. My thoughts exactly. I am so mad that this Nigerian author will paint her OWN country in this kind of light. That is the least thing you will expect to come out of someone who is Nigerian considering that Nigerians have such a bad reputation abroad. I liked this author’s first book but after this article, I don’t think I will support any of her further novels. So disappointing. Makes me sad because everything she said is not true. Tell me what American lets their gardners, or the maids who clean their house seat with them after their work is complete to come watch tv and enjoy a drink with them. Or invites the begger down the road to their house for a hot meal and take a shower. Even if you follow American politics closely, you would have seen how lots of Americans were not in favor of providing healthcare to the poor or minorities or foreigners because they did not want the money to come out of their pockets. Tricia you are quite naive in thinking that Wealthy Americans treat poor people with dignity and respect. There is no place in this world were wealthy people don’t ever look down at poor people and sometimes takes advantage of them. Very disappointed Tricia that you would do this to your own country. I think you should be ashamed of yourself for this article.
AO it is so obvious you hate Nigeria because judging from your avatar, if you are a black Nigerian please explain why you have a WHITE baby has your avatar. Also you are missing the point of the people or are very mad at this article. As I have stated in a previous post. Can you tell me which wealthy American invites his or her househelp or gardner to come have dinner or watch tv with his or her family. Let’s face it majority of wealthy or middle class people no matter where they live in this world look down at poor people and don’t treat them with dignity and respect. So I am not sure why Nigeria is been called out for something every country does. And it is especially dissapointing because these words came out of a Nigerian. She disrespected her own country. And also the comment you made about Obamacare, if you had followed American politics carefully, you would have seen that before the Obamacare was finally passed into law, wealthy Americans and the republican politicians were so against the Obamacare because they did not want to pay for healthcare for poor people and people who can’t afford healthcare. So AO please tell me how your precious Americans are any different or more “civilized” than Nigerians. Face reality, although it is unfortunate but poor people are treated the same no matter which country they live in. Nigeria is not perfect but neither is America without sin either.
“AO it is so obvious you hate Nigeria because judging from your avatar, if you are a black Nigerian please explain why you have a WHITE baby has your avatar”
LMAO. Look at this ignorant sounding individual. You lost me at that.
Have you considered that, that avatar could be her baby (if she’s married to a white man) or her nephew or niece. F take several seats please. If it is paining you that Nigeria was singled out, oh well, you too write your own article about the injustice that some Americans are facing and send it to the New York Times. Why it always pains us when foreign media exposes something that we all know that is going on in our country never ceases to amaze me. There is more outrage now, because it was written by a Nigerian. In fact, I am even very happy sef, that it was written by a Nigerian, because for once, we can’t accuse oyinbo people of painting us bad, when we are already bad. Whether we were singled out or not, the issue is, Adaobi didn’t write fiction. I think she is very brave, because she put her own family in a bad light, and it takes guts to do that. Americans despite their imperfections has its own people writing out and speaking out against injustice in their society. There are enough written pieces, articles, pictures, documentaries, I can go on and on, but for we Nigerians, no o, someone is not allowed to write about the crap in our society. If that someone now happens to go through foreign media, oh wow, the effrontery of that person. She disgraced her own country, F please, take several seats. She brought to light a century old and nation wide problem. When was the last time if ever, we discussed the injustice meted out to domestic helps. We gist about it in our homes and offices, but never like this, with the internet, and the popularity of BN and LIB and other blogs, this conversation is going on globally. I applaud her for this, because you know what, love her or hate her, she got us talking about this issue, and that to me is the beginning of change. We need more of such articles. Look at the CNN Interview with Christiane Amanpour. Is it today we have been complaining about power supply. Jonathan had the nerve to tell a bold faced lie on international television. Of course he could, that is the Nigerian way, lie your way through everything, present a good front. As long as you are not directly affected by the suffering, you can paint your country as an Eldorado. Remember the Rick Ross video too, it got us talking. How many times have we seen such areas played on our local TV stations, it doesn’t affect us, we even change the channel, but an American rap artists showed us to the world and we were up in arms. If you have 50 bad eggs, I don’t care if you single out just one of them, at least single out the problem, and let the people who will be shamed by it do something. So look at the bigger picture please and not just your bruised egos. This issue is bigger than you, bigger than any personal insult you may feel. There is injustice in our nation. Forget other countries please, the topic of discussion is Nigeria, yeah, yeah we were compared to America, that is by the side. Lets rise up and be angered instead that their are people in our midst who don’t have access to the things that we have and take for granted, and the government is looting away with impunity
It’s shocking how butt-ignorant you are. Ao has had that picture for as long as I can remember. It’s probably the picture of her(his) child or a relative.
Ignorance is bliss
I loved Adaobi’s book and respect her as an author but this particular article seems shallow at best. If she wanted to write an article on a cause for househelps then she should have. But using illustrations of househelp and then generalizing to say in Nigeria it’s either you’re somebody or a nobody doesn’t do anything to shed light on her topic. She should have researched well and given relevant illustrations before making an attempt to publish this internationally. Since her book, I haven’t heard from her in recent times. I hope this is not something hurriedly put together just to remain visible. I still love you her as an author but this was below par!
* I still love her
What a pointless article. I kept trying to understand the reason for this piece. Nigerians don’t need outsiders to write the ‘danger of a single story’ our writers are writing it for us.
But I have to say that, Adaobi exposes her own condescension towards Nigeria. It feels to me that she has has never been to the US or if she has, she understand the reality of that country. Nigeria is not perfect and sometimes can treat house-helps really badly, but there are lots of Nigerians who treat their help with mutual respect. I also read this essay as someone who doesn’t come real wealth (perhaps she is used to the wealth of the 419 she writes about) ‘cos the people I know who grew up in wealthy household were not trained to look down on house help. How can she refer to her fellow human being as “Feral” does she know the meaning of the word? She is clearly looking for fame as a writer but getting it wrong…. not all can get to the top . This is such a sad and shameful article. It says more about her than about Nigeria!
I couldnt agree more………..
wow, that was long…
I found part of this article rather condescending..
Secondly,true there are people who treat house helps as crap(and the house helps sometimes can be a pain),but the way a child sees and treats a help is from his/her own up bringing..#shikena
Thirdly,the generalisation in this article is painful..yes painful. This is a typical example of a single story.
Lastly,it took “your great America” wars,decades,centuries and bloodshed to get to where it is now.nigeria is not even a quarter as old as America so do not even compare them..if you want to compare Nigeria,do so with a country that is as old as we are and/or a country that was set up to fail..yes Nigeria was set up to fail,but the extent of our failure is on us.
Bye..as I’m saying this bye I still don’t get the point of the article to be sincere .
Because I loved her book so much……I am willing to forgive this momentary ‘lapse in clear, objective reasoning’. I believe she might have been intoxicated by the opportunity of writing for the NY Times
Firstly, the USA is not a society of equals.
History shows us (Civil Rights Movement, Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment etc etc)
Recent happenings confirm this (Hurricane Katrina & New Orleans…..The vitriolic attacks on Obama…..The Racial Divide in US Public Schools……The high proportion of Black Males on Death Row etc etc)
I find it sad that she sees the USA as some Utopia. No society is perfect
Make no mistake, I am not saying Nigeria is perfect.
However, regarding her description of how her househelps were treated …….I have to say the actions she described do not paint her in a good light. Not every Nigerian treats househelps badly and not every household welcomes the unfair distinction between the ‘fragrant children of the home’ and the ‘unsavoury, offensive village imports’
Some homes function with dailies (well paid helps who do not reside with the family) and some homes nurture their helps to become independent achievers.
Overall, a very sad, poorly thought out article. I expected better.
This is what I don’t get about my people. What is it that she wrote that is not true?
We r ten in my family, and my parents nerver for once employ an househelp. We were trained to clean up after ourselfs. We did not have to employ a relative as househelp or omo odo to help them financially.
Go and do ur research very well and u will find out that majority of house helps in Nigeria were trafficked.
She lost me right at “My father detested it when our househelps sang….” …so I stopped reading right there scrolled to the comments and they reaffirmed my initial inkling not to bother reading the article.
Talking about equality, why would someone have three wives, while I have only one or have eleven children while I settle on two, then expect me to take care of them.
Some kinds of poverty are man made and those who make those decisions should live with them.
I’m not quite sure what to say. The author appears to really believe that people are not “equal” in Nigeria; especially when she mentions that she tried to be civil to [her?] house-helps and risked losing respect. Being poor is not the cause of uncivilized behaviour. But then, I guess it all depends on one’s definition of civility. If civility to you involves rich folks “airs” then perhaps the poor will always be uncivil. Though I respect her views, I cannot agree with them.
Can you please adopt me and carry me come akata,i no mind do houseboy for you O.
Im sure you are missing those childhood privilages,and im tired of sleeping under bridge 4mushin.
Oya carry go.Print my comment for new york times.
EQUAL? Wait dere oyinbo neva show you,thats why u dey spoil nijah like spoilt pikin wey you be.
I beg i close mouth joor.
I had too lengthy a response. So I posted on my blog: marriedwomansproblems.blogspot.com/2013/02/some-thoughts-on-tricia-nwubanis.html
okay @ao, i will tell you what she writes doesn’t portray most of the arguments you are making. If nigerian judicial and legislative branch had equal power to check the executive branch like usa does, in honesty nigeria would be better off, but the fact is that the executive branch in nigerian politics holds all or most of the power. Leaders would only stay in nigeria whether sick or in good health, when a law that is well enforced is passed and bars all politicians from leaving the country to seek healthcare or education and their families inclusive, and if they do, they must immediately abdicate the post which they hold. This would force them to change, and hopefully we have judges with morals and not devil may care types like the one that just let a man who stole billions basically walk away scott free. We need people with character and ethics and not ones who dwell in fantasy, tribalism and corrupted. Adaobi provides argument without offering a solution. Everyone has an opinion, and that was hers, and its sad that she felt respect was due to her by maltreating someone, you earn respect, that shows the upbringing her family gave her, and does not reflect most nigerian’s attitude towards their domestic workers. Yes she used it as an analogy, but it was not done correctly in my opinion.
I absolutely HATE it when Nigerians act all sanctimonious. For Gods sake she only used the househelp story to explain a situation in Nigeria and please before y’all start acting like saints..if you got your job not by merit but by knowing somebody and was picked over a more qualified candidate you are just like her father. Can we be objective for once in our lives and take the message of this post. Yes there is inequality in the US but chances are that if you use a given opportunity well, YOU WILL EXCEL. In NIGERIA, you dont even get the CHANCE! So please take several seats!
Bless you my dear. We don’t like people telling us the truth to our faces. We would rather ooh and aaah, over BN red carpet pics, and live in our comfortable world. Articles like this serve to jolt us back and examine the realities in our environment. Great that it was published in the New York Times. It is only when media from outside the country, disgrace us that we sit up, and face the facts. If it was published in The Punch or something, no one will take note, and we will just ignore it and go about our normal lives. See how much raucous the Christiane Amanpour interview caused. Oga Jonathan, looked like a fool, when Nigerians were bringing out the facts about power supply. I’m sure he must have felt ashamed of how stupid he looked. Look at the Rick Ross video. How many times have we seen such images on local TV stations. We never react to it, but the minute a foreigner brought our attention to it, we were up in arms. Look at the BBC This is Lagos documentary too. Shouldn’t we feel ashamed of ourselves, that only outsiders can elicit some kind of reaction from us, about events going on in our own country.
SOMEONE SHOULD MAKE SHALLOW MINDEDNESS A SIN!!!
Dear Adaobi,if the maids that came to your house stank like u said they did, why didnt ur mother or whosoever bought deodorants for u buy for those poor fellow human beings with feral scents?
GBAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…WE ARE FORGETTING THE YOUNG GIRLS RAPED AND MOLESTED BY THE MAN OF THE HOUSE..MIND YOU THESE KIDS ARE IN THEIR PRE ADOLESCENT AGE… DON’T FORGET THE ENDLESS SUPPLIES OF BLOWS TO THE HEAD, THE BAPTISM OF HOT SOUP OR HOT WATER. since she wanted to write about housemaids…let her kukuma tell the real horrors that these kids tend to face. you tink say na to dey hum song be dia problem for oga house….bella naija if you like don’t post my comment…gawd too dey watch una…
This is one of the most myopic,uninspiring and one sided story ever. Its a pity she inherited the cruelty of her father.
No country is perfect,and there is no need for us to be focusing on the negatives alone-this is a big generalization. It is a pity you family were unable to add value to the lives of those maids,not all Nigerians are cruel to their maids.
We had three maids,and when my dad discovered that they were smart girls,he put them in private schools up to the secondary level,and one of them got to the university level-this was not the original plan.
By law we are all equal,but some were borne into poor families,and it is our duty to help in anyway we can to add value to the lives of people around us ,not just because they are poor,but because they are humans that need the help we can offer.
The writer is needs to broaden her view of life and Nigeria.
I probably understand where the writer is coming from(errmm not sure) but I think she needs to see Chimamanda’s Ted talk titled “The dangers of a single story” cos this is a “single story”.. I don’t like when people make generalizations
Really am enjoying the crops of young enlightened educated Nigerians with constructive criticism..shout out to F and Adaobi…i think you can’t betray your country like dis just for recognition
When someone tells the truth, I don’t care if it is palatable to your eyes or not, but this temporary amnesia a lot of people commenting are suffering from, please reverse it sharp sharp, I mean now. This issue of house helps being treated like sub humans is very very correct. All you people coming out now with good stories about how your family treated house helps are a very very very very small minority. If y’all talking are so outraged, why don’t you champion the cause of domestic helps. I don’t see you starting the fight or campaigning for better treatment for house helps. Y’all just sit down in your own little bubble and think, because we treat our own house helps right, we are doing our Christian or Muslim duty. Forgetting that you are the exception to the rule. What about the rest, suffering in other people’s homes. This article is perfect, because it will shame people who treat their helps the way Adaobi described, and seeing it written in print may make some people rethink, and consider how they treat their helps. To such people it is normal, even highly educated (at least Adaobi’s parents were educated, she basically named and shamed them with this piece) ones, but to read this well articulated write up, if you are guilty of such, you will feel ashamed. Also, if you see someone you know maltreating a help, with this article fresh in your memory, you will speak up, and enlighten the person. How many of you have sat back quietly while a friend, sister, mother aunt, uncle was cruel to a help. You just blank out your mind as if you are not affected and walk away. Leaving that poor girl or boy to suffer, and you won’t defend the help that has no voice. Nigerians are such pretenders, you don’t want anything to stain the already tarnished image of the country. Who gives a shit, how much extra can you stain a dark material. The problem you people have is because it was printed in the New York Times, so shame is catching you that a fellow Nigerian wrote this. Good for her that she did. The same people outraged, are the same people who were pissed about Rick Ross’s video. As if such places didn’t exist, as if the images were CGI. All y’all living in your rich and middle class bubble, you don’t want the world to see how rotten your country is. Fakery and fake people everywhere. Sometimes change happens from disgrace and humiliation.
And let the church say Amen!. Drops one dollar in the collection plate.
Take 5. You couldn’t have said it any better. You know something I have noticed is that Nigerians hate it when their nyansh with it’s dirty laundry gets exposed to the world to see. This was the same exact reaction when Rick Ross made a video in the slums. All of you acting like there are no slums in Nigeria. Plenty of them. Their defense is always everyone is doing it, America is doing it. Corruption: it happens everywhere, Bribery : it happens everywhere, housekeeper maltreatment: it happens everywhere, e.t.c. No one ever says what can we do individually or collectively to stop things like this from happening. For the first couple of years growing up we lived in an estate and every single housekeeper that worked for my parents were treated with respect. They were sent to secondary school and University. However, I can say the same about the other families that lived in that estate. I remember vividly that out of all the families that lived in that estate (approximately 40 houses) my family and 3 other families in the estate were the only ones that treated them humanely. The other houses were one horror story after another. If it’s not the housekeeper getting burnt with iron it was hot water getting poured on the housekeepers hand. It will be crazy of me to assume that every housekeeper got treated right because the ones in our house were treated with respect. To be precise, about 95% of the housekeepers I knew about growing were treated either like slaves or animals. that We are very fake in this country. Some of you need to get out of your bubble and see beyond what is happening in your household or neighborhood. With every 1 housekeeper that gets treated right there are probably about 10 that gets treated terribly. This piece is suppose to rile us up so we can do better. It should be things like: starting up a small organization or protest about fair treatment for all, going into schools to enlighten them about fair treatment, enlighten kids to always say please and thank you regardless of who it is, speaking up and voicing your opinion when you see a housekeeper, driver, gateman, or anyone treated wrong, e.t.c. All this falseness and pretense will get Nigeria no where. You all want change then you need to look beyond your nose. Be fired up, be angry and do something about it.
I had a falling out with my mother’s friend’s and she told me not to come to her house again, as I was putting ideas in the mind of her maid. What happened, she slapped a maid for using her sanitary towel, she said she bought the girl tissue paper. I asked why didn’t she buy the girl Always, she said she wont know how to use it. Aunty teach her now, this girl uses kitchen appliances, you taught her how to use it. My aunt replied, she will waste the pad anyhow, she doesn’t know the value of money. I put my hand in the bag and gave the girl 2K, to buy months supply of Always. This woman, got mad and said no, I should not undermine her authority in her own house, I am not your mum that is soft with maids, these girls need a firm hand. I argued with her, realising that I won’t win, I kept quiet. When I was leaving, I gave the aboki next door selling stuff money, and i said every month, please give this girl 2 packs of Always. If the money runs out, I’ll pay you when I come visiting. You won’t believe this woman found Always in the girls things, and beat her black and blue for stealing. The girl said it was Aunty Tope that bought it for her, and this woman called my mum and told her to warn me, and I should never step foot in her house again. My mum quarrelled with her for what she did, and those two are barely speaking now. I didn’t change status quo, but I was happy I shamed the woman. A woman in her 50′s that can’t buy her maid Always. Me the girl in her twenties, had to offer to buy it. How much is Always? There’s a part of me that hopes my confrontation taught her something. If the people that treat their maids with dignity and respect, even if they are a small minority, if such people speak out every time they see injustice, and not just practice the right thing in their homes, we would have had some change in the service industry. The way people even talk to waiters even in expensive restaurants in Nigeria is totally appalling. I went on a date with one ignoramus, and he was talking trash to this waiter in a restaurant on the Island. Politely, I put him in his place straight away he accused me of disrespecting him in public. He was yarning, do you know how much it costs to eat here, if he wants a waiter to jump, the guy should ask him how high. Suffice to say, I gave him a piece of my mind, and I never saw him again. Look at maids, nannies, au pairs abroad. I’m sure in times past, they were maltreated, but look at what is obtainable now. You cant try such. Articles like Adaobi are good to remind us of the injustice going on under our noses. Injustice that we don’t need government intervention for. This is man treating their fellow man inhumanely. We are a lawless nation, so those laws that are in place in the western world to protect workers, may never materialise in Nigeria, but at least individually, we can bring about change. Nigerians place value on what we spend money on. Lets start paying this workers hefty fees for all the work they do, maybe we’ll see them differently. Lets stop seeing them as, we are doing them a favour, taking them out of poverty (the way some silly people above have written). These helps are doing you a favour too. Rendering you a service, saving you from stress. My sister pays £2000 a month for her live in French nanny with 2 kids, 2 kids o. Despite that, she doesn’t dare talk trash to the woman Her duties are strictly to take care of the kids. She doesn’t do ANY housework, not a single thing. My sister hires a cleaning lady for that. I have told my sister to hire me, for that money I’ll be nanny and cleaning lady plus driver sef. Lol.
You’ve made so much sense.
I’m confused as to why most of you are foaming at the mouth, like Ms. Nwaubani does not have a point here. Granted, she generalized but abeg you guys should not come and act brand new. Talking about “America is not that great”…well it’s definitely greater than Nigeria, that’s for sure. Blahblahblah, the USA is not a society of equals, yeah whatever you think, but trust that folks in this country will treat you better than you will get treated in Nigeria, where they have a serious “who are you?”/ “who is your father” mentality. Seriously, you guys need to quit acting brand new and crawl out of your feelings abeg.
Bless you my dear. We don’t like people telling us the truth to our faces. We would rather ooh and aaah, over BN red carpet pics, and live in our comfortable world. Articles like this serve to jolt us back and examine the realities in our environment. Great that it was published in the New York Times. It is only when media from outside the country, disgrace us that we sit up, and face the facts. If it was published in The Punch or something, no one will take note, and we will just ignore it and go about our normal lives. See how much raucous the Christiane Amanpour interview caused. Oga Jonathan, looked like a fool, when Nigerians were bringing out the facts about power supply. I’m sure he must have felt ashamed of how stupid he looked. Look at the Rick Ross video. How many times have we seen such images on local TV stations. We never react to it, but the minute a foreigner brought our attention to it, we were up in arms. Look at the BBC This is Lagos documentary too. Shouldn’t we feel ashamed of ourselves, that only outsiders can elicit some kind of reaction from us, about events going on in our own country.
This excerpt doesn’t paint the best picture on the author or on the subject. In trying to bring out a point of subjugacy etc…. she sizes the opportunity insult further persons she considers lesser than her. if that wasn’t the intention, then …
I have never heard other human beings being described like she has….
Don’t want to know people like that…..
I wrote what I thought about it here: theramblingsofamadman-afam.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/where-in-world-are-you-not-somebody-or.html
#77. oh well.
“…This somebody-nobody mind-set is at the root of corruption and underdevelopment…”
i do not agree with that conclusion. it is however, a reflection of our warped value system. there are several places i cud begin to count to describe the steady decline in poor stewardship at all levels of our society.
Sigh…I am so disappointed you guys don’t get this article. I feel because you don’t get it you just assume she’s bashing Nigeria. The main issue this article concentrates on is the issue of inequality in Nigeria. It is true that there will always be social classes; it’s everywhere. However what she is trying to say is we have this somebody/nobody mentality in Nigeria. The well-off people get treated better than poor people. No Nigerian can deny that fact. She’s just using the househelp practice as an example to reinforce/illustrate her point. If you guys notice, she used her family and her friends’ families in explaining her point. Doesn’t mean she is generalizing. Almost every Nigerian middle/upper class family has at least one househelp and majority of these househelps get maltreated. These househelps themselves have their own baggages that contribute to the problem. Of course there will always be an exception to a rule, so the fact your family isn’t into maltreating househelps doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. She is trying to tell us that everything all starts from the home…”charity begins at home they say”. These mini issues sip into the society. Kids grow up with that somebody/nobody attitude in their head. It all becomes a cycle. She concludes saying tackling little things like the “i am better than you” mentality helps tackle the issue of corruption. I am Nigerian by birth, British and American via immigration; I have experienced living abroad and living in Nigeria. Yes nothing is perfect; these “developed” countries have their flaws too. They have places where they fail and Nigeria excels. Yes America is not perfect but this isn’t about America, it is about Nigeria. It is about seeing our failures instead of covering it; let’s call a spade a spade.
hmm, interesting write up but lacking depth if I may say. I can understand the writer’s choice to broach the subject of class stratification from the angle of domestic helpers but her approach does not fully capture what economic of social stratification truly entail. Being a “somebody” or “nobody” truly doesn’t have much to do with whether you are from a poverty stricken village or not. There are many Nigerians that have at one point or the other served in a relative’s household and moved on in life to become a “somebody”. So I do not know if the writer is trying to address social stratification, economic segmentation, or plain and simple inter-human relations! Enough with holding America as the standard of what a civilization should be, for goodness sake we are Nigerians, Africans and have our cultures, our traditions, our laws. If one is gonna do some writing and thinking, one should try to formulate your thoughts on the subject matter before publishing on the web (me inclusive, lol). Bottom line, of course Nigerians know everyone is equal, how we treat the help, NYSC corpers, junior students in school, perceived criminals (RIP ALUU 4), etc has little to do with “somebody” or “nobody” but everything to do with empathy, love and peace as a race undivided by skin color (artificial or real) or bank account or fake-ass borrowed accent. My point is, domestic helps aren’t mistreated for being nobodys, they are mistreated because of the lack of mutual love or empathy for our fellow men. An improved economy isn’t gonna teach ppl to love, neither will it make your boss treat you better or madam shout at you less. An improved economy; education, health care, industrial growth, etc will give people EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES to become “SOMEBODIES”
Objectivity,
I think saying all we need is love is a bit idealistic. You really believe Nigerians feel everyone is equal and worth the same? I might have to ask where exactly in Nigeria you reside.
As for people shouting about validity and all, just remember its an opinion piece and take a chill pill. Its her opinion, you can either like or dislike it, but you should not discredit it.
househelp first to wake up and last to sleep….must bathe the kid(s), brush their teeth, get them dressed, serve their breakfast, wipe the floors, clean the bathrooms, wash clothes, welcome the kids back from school, serve them lunch, get dinner ingredients out for madam, serve madam/oga, serve the kids dinner, cannot stay around the living room to watch tv but instead seat on a stool in the kitchen (dozing from lack of sleep all day), might be called upon last minute at about 10pm to walk some blocks away alone (female o) to get insecticide for the house, might have to wake up middle of the night from her flimsy mattress placed on the barefloor with no pillow to switch on the generator…this was the life of the househelp at my brother’s home where we stayed during a recent visit home…..i felt sick to my stomach at the way my sophisticated banker sister in law treated this young lady….her clothes were worn in repeated successions and the entirety of her belongings could fit into a nylon bag…..bottom line i told my brother i did not fancy the way she is being treated and we (wife n kids) stayed elsewhere during our visit in december….the young househelp never returned to my brother’s home after her time away for the new year…i am sure these scenerio plays out more often than we care to acknowledge….
for every comment condemning,the author,remember how you attended corona,pampers,the best school and your well treated helps went to the jakande school close to your house!washed plates.(God save her/him if one broke)you had private lesson teachers while your well treated helps were in the kitchen helping mom!washing…..your well treated helps were the house alarm-up at 4 or 5am!!biko jare..her opinion sorry it hurts like truth