Till Food Does Us Part! Is Your Marriage Defined By Your Culinary Skills?

Posted on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013 at 11:30 AM

By Ruby Suze

They say the way to man’s heart is through the stomach, if that’s the case I need a gastric SAT NAV. Somehow, I’ve taken a left and ended up in confusing culinary junction.

Tradition stipulates that the perfect wife has an apron permanently pinned to her chest, smiling beside her perfectly clean cooker, that churns out scrumptious plates and plates of tantalizing meals. All this has to be done with the poise of a gazelle and the hair and face of a goddess.

Before getting married, I prayed for a man who wasn’t fussy about food. He so graciously answered. I have a beloved who is happy to eat whatever I put on the plate (bar Turkey – too much of a good thing during childhood is definitely a bad thing). I am aware that this paints the picture of woman who refuses to touch the cooker for fear her foundation may melt. Truth is, I am not that woman. I simply prefer other tasks to cooking. I’d quite happily organise a sock drawer according to colour and fabric, iron ten crumpled linen shirts and wash food encrusted plates than cook.

Growing up in a fairly big family, I was ‘encouraged’ to cook for the family, so much so that it became a chore rather than a past time. The only thing I am happy to slave over to cook is cake. And to be fair, that’s not cooking – it’s baking. I am amazed by and strongly admire women who run home to cook, developing culinary delights whilst journeying home from work. When hunger strikes, the first thing that comes to mind is: what is the quickest thing to make. My meals are selected on how much time I have.

And since my meals are selected purely on the time factor you can imagine that Nigerian food is the furthest from my menu. In fact, I think the traditional ‘red stew’ has only been cooked in my home a couple of times…by my husband. Everything about Nigerian food feels long. The purchase of the ingredients requires lengthy treks to negotiate rates with brash market traders and the selecting of the best leaves and herbs based on their colour and smell. Its preparation robs women of their Saturdays and leaves their hands smelling like the gut of a fish. The cooking of this cuisine, generates aromas that fill the house and beckon your beloved to the kitchen…though this aroma will also hang on your clothing and curtains…mmm…eau de naija.

Left to me, I would survive on a couple of slices of toast, spinach salad and pizza. Had it not been for my bestie at Uni, I would have either wasted away into a round size zero or I would have developed a healthy deficiency. During the day, I have to force myself to eat which is always a bone of contention between my beloved and I. I have to program myself to ensure that I peel myself away from the laundry or playing baby entertainer, to make an edible hot meal for my beloved.

When we’re out with our married friends and the subject of food/cooking comes up, you should see the horror when they hear that I’ve not made many traditional Nigerian meals since I got married. The eyes widen and jaws drop as though I’d said I would pose nude.
‘So…what do you cook?!’
Food; meat filled pasta, roasted sweet potatoes, Thai and Indian curry, brown basmati rice, fennel seasoned salmon, spinach and feta cheese salads and Sunday roasts. Our cuisine is made up of a blend of cultures which are just as quickly and easily prepared and they are eaten!

For some, this is an indictment on my upbringing perhaps, a mother who didn’t adequately train their daughter in the delights of Nigerian cuisine. This couldn’t be further from the truth. My mother regularly hauled us (I’m one of 4 girls) into the kitchen to take notes on what she was brewing and to ‘help’ her to cook. From peeling dusty gigantic yams to sifting through beans to pick out stones, we did it all. My naija bestie would say that my asaro (yam porridge) was and is the best she’s ever had. I just couldn’t turn my hand to pounding yam, I don’t think my twig like arms could quite transform the powder into the cream coloured light fluffy mounds my mother did. Others would reason that my reluctance to rustle up something more African is that I grew up in the UK. This may be so, perhaps if I’d grown up in Nigeria I would have a greater affinity to that type of food. It certainly may have been far less socially acceptable to plate up Quinoa to your in laws.

There will be women who will argue that my reluctance to cook will only expose my hubby to those who will. That he will be tempted by the hot pot of ‘efo’ soup cushioned with a mound of ‘amala’. I would argue that my sweet potatoes with peppered mackerel served with a warm spinach, mushroom and walnut salad, is doing a good of keeping him at home. The absence of ‘shaki’ and ‘cow foot’ has not caused any arguments though, the occasional whinge can be heard from family members when they visit.

Truth is, I am not defined by my culinary skills nor the repertoire of the dishes I can prepare. We are no better ‘wives’ by our ability to blend chopped tomatoes and soak beans. It is just a part of a much wider role as a wife. The way to my beloveds heart is not through a plate, it’s…now that would be telling wouldn’t it?!

Photo Credit: 123rf.com
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Ruby Suze is a yummy mummy who has been married for 5 years. She is passionate about using her life experiences to help others especially, youth. Follow her blog: Forever Newlywed and on Twitter@cr8tivrubysuze.

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  • 68 Comments on “Till Food Does Us Part! Is Your Marriage Defined By Your Culinary Skills?”

    Comments
    • tito September 25, 2013 at 11:38 AM

      THANKING GOD FPR MY MAN O.ANYTHING GOES

      • Plato September 26, 2013 at 11:13 AM

        Seems like d writer has a food complex , i.e. oyibo food is better than Naija food.
        Some of the “quick” things u mentioned r not so quick. U think making a pizza from scratch is easy??? It takes a LONG time! Don’t blame Naija food on time, etc. There r many many contemporary home cooks n chefs who teach u d easiest ways to prepare ur favorite dishes.
        Also, d way u described Nigerian markets like they’re d only way to shop. Go to Shoprite if that’s ur specs. Ain’t nobody mad at that.

        It’s as if you’re one of the many Nigerians with a complex when it comes to our cuisine and obviously confused about ur cultural identity when it comes to food.

        • omada September 28, 2013 at 12:31 AM

          Sorry but you’re talking nonsense.

        • EE October 9, 2013 at 8:58 AM

          couldnt have said it better

      • tee October 25, 2013 at 6:57 PM

        That thing they say about all men being different. if you have it easy, be thankful. i interview new wives weekly and no two stories are ever similar. allthingztiana.blogspot.com

    • Gistyinka Blog September 25, 2013 at 11:39 AM

      Na true you talk.. till food does us apart.. More trending news , entertainment news and celebrity lifestyle here at Gistyinka Blog

    • mdevaan September 25, 2013 at 11:53 AM

      one of my best pieces so far on this site … too many women are judged based on this and it shouldn’t be so ,there’s a reason we are all different,much love heading to your site now!

    • Phatymah September 25, 2013 at 12:08 PM

      Mine doesn’t mind! Sometimes we rda eat outside trying out dises and he asks if I am tired or not before asking for food not that I take it for granted I try my best to cook something new and makes it tste the best of the very best since I have the time! What we eat is way out of what you can think of. We are so foreign that it hurts! 10 years of marrigae and ntn spoil…..who wants to do the chinese fight with pot all in the name of fufu not that it is bad but trying out dishes is a sure way of getn to a mans heart. You shouldn’t only learn fuf and dose oda soup…try out oda tinx cuz I bet you a man hardly goes out to eat fuf outside he rather eats sometin new….try out something you have neva served him…please ladies let us be versatile

    • Mami September 25, 2013 at 12:14 PM

      “I simply prefer other tasks to cooking. I’lld quite happily organise a sock drawer according to colour and fabric,iron ten crumpled shirts and wash food encrusted plates than cook”. That’s a perfect description of myself. My sister always says I should pray I marry a man who understands that his wife does not love to cook. It doesn’t mean I can’t cook or I don’t cook but on a very good day I could do without cooking.

      • Trey September 25, 2013 at 1:04 PM

        Marry me already…

        • Eve82 September 26, 2013 at 8:41 AM

          It is well!

      • CarliforniaBawlar September 26, 2013 at 9:29 AM

        To be honest, I wish I had your ‘talent’ or is it a strength now? I can’t arrange things to save my life, I’m such a scatter-brain…..You see, I can cook up a storm (literally), in fact funny thing is, I laying up here at 3am watching Martha Stewart cooking on TV….I have HBO o, na Martha Stewart I dey watch,lol….I just love love love to cook. From Nigerian cuisines to Indian to oyinbo oyinbo food, just give me a dish, I do the research on the best recipes and i’ll make it!! On the other hand, I’m scared to get married because of my tendency to clutter. My mum tried everything possible, from whooping to emotional abuse to most recently, calmly advising me on the necessity to be a neat woman…… I’ve managed to get the art of cleanliness but it just seems my hands don’t agree with my brain to keep things in order….I’m just messy and that’s it. My mum says I must have gotten it from my dad (who passed when I was 5 o). Trust me,as a single chick I still appreciate a clean and well arranged house, in fact once I reach the next pay grade, I would be able to afford maid and cleaning services and I’m sure getting one. Anyways, I believe we all have our strengths, and should just run with whatever we have jare. I still can’t make up my mind if I’d prefer my husband to be neat, so he can help my weakness (but that could backfire to someone who might end up criticizing me and i’d end up hating) or someone just like me, who wouldn’t notice my jagajaga ways but then, I don’t think need anymore mess than I make by myself, lol.

    • i no send September 25, 2013 at 12:24 PM

      i don’t like to cook but i do to keep the peace

    • M September 25, 2013 at 12:24 PM

      You are right, you are not defined by your culinary skills or the repertoire of the dishes you can prepare. However, every man is different so while some are indifferent to the types of food their wives cook, others pay attention to it. Therfore what works for you may be diffrent from someone else. Ive met men who would gladly cook for themselves, while others refuse to eat food cooked by other women, except fo their wives (because of the quality).I have also seen ladies get jealous when their men compliment other ladies food, beause it is far better than what they cook for their husbands. I guess what this means is you find what you man likes and you become the best at it. for some it is food, for others, well its something else

      • Bim September 25, 2013 at 12:55 PM

        Tell me about it. I was at a married friend’s house recently and with her own mouth she said Bim please cook Ofada Sauce for me and I obliged. Unbeknown to her husband, he did not know about our arrangement and when he came home he just kept raving and raving about the stew and asking for more. The poor guy just thought she must have picked up a new trick somewhere. Shey she should have jejely mentioned that I cooked it and simply say Sweetheart as from now on my ofada suace will be like this. She kept quiet and me too I kept quiet and din’t want to cause trouble. It was her 5 year old son that blurted out loud Aunty Bim cooked it. You are simply the best. Can you cook more before you go. It didn’t help matters that her husband said the same thing too. The daggers that my friend shot at me that day I couldn’t believe it. She was so cold I couldn’t wait to leave and nicely go back to my house. Someone that used to call me before when she is cooking and ask for tips and help doesn’t anymore. We don’t even talk as much and she has not mentioned that incident even to joke about it. Me sef I hold my peace. If i ever go to house again I will never step near her kitchen. Ladies if your husband is particular about food but has not complained about yours because hey he loves you and din’t marry you for your culinary skills, make the time and effort to improve your culinary skills before you get embarassed. Dont let me even mention one funny cousin of mine who tells his wife to bring huge plastic containers when they are coming to visit me so they can take food home. Or my Aunty who lost her husband to a Calabar woman. You may say it is not because of food, you may be right but the guy is a happy camper with a pot belly now.

        • M September 25, 2013 at 1:23 PM

          ah well you see, i no talk am
          sit there de do SJP ladies who lunch while one babe just come take almumunium pot snatch your husband. nobody said they married you to be a housewife/cook o, but hun it really doesnt hurt to throw it down where it matters once in a while. see all these african women who cook their husbands favourite dishes when the have a special request, noto manual labor de attract them o. shine your eyes well well. i nor say oyibo o or all these new mordern day men wae de spring up once in a while o, but if you say na correct african bpobor you get, beta begin blow firewood

        • kiki October 24, 2013 at 12:46 PM

          lol. hilarious. Note to married women, dont let your single female friend cook in your house for your family. No matter the goood intentions, you just cant handle it if your hubby or kids prefers her food to yours. Everyone to his own. their tastebuds should and would adapt to your own food by force and pls always upgrade ur cooking skills

    • Iyke September 25, 2013 at 12:31 PM

      I cook and therefore don’t really care if she cooks or not, as long as she gives me PEACE.
      Ladies, not that it’s a bad thing if you know how to cook, but don’t let people/society put you in a box and tell me who I am or ought to be.!Knowing how or how not to cook shouldn’t define you.

      • Bleed blue September 25, 2013 at 1:20 PM

        Wow! Iyke! You typed using everyday English grammar.

        #RoundOfApplause

        • Ready September 25, 2013 at 7:17 PM

          Right??! No endless ….. and disjointed phrases.

        • bella dama October 3, 2013 at 11:49 AM

          looool i noticed same tooo. pls more of this from you.thnks

      • hot mama September 25, 2013 at 7:58 PM

        Hallelujah…Let’s clap for Iyke…pa pa pa pa pa Jesus I love you!!!

        • Two Shillings September 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM

          Laughing so hard my tummy hurts!

    • Iny September 25, 2013 at 1:02 PM

      I love cooking but can’t be bothered sometimes. Mine doesn’t mind but can become fixated on a particular dish if he discovers he likes it, so I eventually would have to beg him to eat something different or make what he loves in different ways.

      dahliaweddings.blogspot.com

    • Annie September 25, 2013 at 1:02 PM

      apparently my ex bf left me coz i didn’t cook for him…he told his friends so. so i guess food plays a big role when it comes to men.

      • Kostas September 26, 2013 at 1:52 AM

        Sweetie the man would have left you one way or the other.

        It’s total foolishness to think food/sex/whatever will KEEP a man. You can do everything and be everything in this world, and a man can still see fit to leave you. Women really need to stop deceiving themselves about this KEEPING a man business.

        • Mz Socially Awkward... September 27, 2013 at 6:09 PM

          @Kostas, too right. However, either you or some other well-meaning female will need to send out that memo to Stella D ASAP….

    • Nnenna September 25, 2013 at 1:11 PM

      *sigh* This is me, EXACTLY! I pray for someone who will understand that Nigerian culinary dishes are not my style! I can survive cooking stew but soup? I just can’t! The smell just takes over your entire being! Stock fish and goat meat make me want to throw up on first smell! We should not be defined by our prowess in the kitchen. There are far more important qualities a man should look for in a woman than if her amala and ewedu makes him catch the holy ghost! I don’t eat “Naija” food i.e. “swallow” and “soup” and I don’t intend on learning and I highly doubt it will be served frequently in my household! Have I reduced my African man market?! LOL!

    • Ese September 25, 2013 at 1:20 PM

      Am so not really friend with all my married friends still I get married n that pretty soon … Cos I no get power for their wahala n looking at me like cos I no va marry I no get say for d matter

    • my love September 25, 2013 at 1:26 PM

      God bless you Ruby. You shared my sentiments exactly. I also pray for a man who doesn’t bother about cooking. I truly do not like cooking, i can do just about anything, but certainly not cooking.

    • Joey Akan September 25, 2013 at 2:30 PM

      for me, anything goes. Who cares about a gigantic swallow of ‘eba’ if the lady doesn’t complement other areas. Culinary prowess always has its place, but ladies never should be judged by this. I don’t want my woman to have the eau de naija, or go through insane stress to churn out pretty edibles, rolling down the conveyor belt, begging to be adored and eaten. For me, anything works.

    • Limoges September 25, 2013 at 3:10 PM

      Different strokes for different folks. One man would say “there is no point if she can’t cook” while another would say “if she can’t cook, I’ll do the cooking”. Such is life

    • Amama September 25, 2013 at 3:17 PM

      Many guys will pretend it doesnt matter to them whether their wives can cook but at least weekend it is very wise to go out of your way to make him something nice. My own doesnt care but i make sure that at weekends i make special treat so he knows there is a woman in his life.If there is no difference in the house when you are in it and when you are not , you can be sure that there will be problem on day. Even if he doesnt tell you he longs for a homemade treat once in a while.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian September 25, 2013 at 3:33 PM

      she did not talk about her kids, just herself and her
      husband. What happens when they join the equation? Would she raise
      them on the same diet or encourage them to explore their taste
      horizon with traditional meals? I am not judging, considering i
      always tell people i cant boil water to save my life. I say that
      because i believe cooking should be an equal opportunity task to be
      shared by parties concerned. I always feel mischievous when i whip
      up some really lovely dish. Next thing i am claiming that’s the
      only thing i can cook with a very solemn look. Fact is i can cook.
      Very well. Only I will not permit it to be a criteria for the
      prefix “Mrs”.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian September 25, 2013 at 3:34 PM

      I am not judging, considering i always tell people i cant
      boil water to save my life. I say that because i believe cooking
      should be an equal opportunity task to be shared by parties
      concerned. I always feel mischievous when i whip up some really
      lovely dish. Next thing i am claiming that’s the only thing i can
      cook with a very solemn look. Fact is i can cook. Very well. Only I
      will not permit it to be a criteria for the prefix “Mrs”.

    • Smallie September 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

      Cooking or not cooking only breaks a marriage or a home
      when people have been deluding themelves from the get go. A man is
      toasting a babe who doesn’t cook. She has told you she doesn’t
      cook. You have seen that she doesn’t cook. Then you marry her and
      all of a sudden expect her to start cooking just because “that’s
      what married women do”. Shior! Marriages/Relationships have a lot
      of problems already. Why look for more? If cooking is
      uncompromisable issue for you, look for a woman that cooks for her
      single self. If you don’t care about it and like to cook as a
      single man, then date a girl who cooks, enjoys your cooking or
      cooks a little bit. Let’s stop making decisions with our eyes open
      then crying foul when reality sets in.

      • Two Shillings September 26, 2013 at 7:26 PM

        WORD!

      • Fashionista October 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM

        You are a wise women! that’s exactly what happened to me, never cooked while dating. All of a sudden I should become a chef because I got married, hian!

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian September 25, 2013 at 4:50 PM

      I am not judging, considering i always tell people i meet
      that i cant boil water to save my life. Not because i cant cook,
      but because i believe it should be an equal opportunity thing. I
      often feel mischievous when i get into the kitchen and whip up
      something truly delicious and remark quite solemnly that it is the
      only thing i can cook. I can cook, only that i will not permit it
      to be a criteria for the prefix “Mrs.”

    • MO September 25, 2013 at 4:51 PM

      Uhmmm… Read through the whole thread …. Well, I
      appreciate the writers opinion but every man loves GOOD food … U
      don’t have to make eba /amala or cook soups all the time due to
      busy schedule. Indulge your spouse … Food is essential, visit
      Google or other credible websites for recipes that dont consume
      tyme and yet a palatable dish is made and served , we have all this
      basic ingredients here in 9ja which does not cost a fortune ….
      Once, u are married, u need to satisfy your spouse and FOOD is
      major role…..If you dont make it, some one else will and they
      would eat !

    • meme September 25, 2013 at 5:23 PM

      Well maybe because we are still dating but my boo doesn’t
      really bother or disturb me to make too much.. well he LOVES dodo
      and egg sauce too much which he knows how to make but he prefers I
      make them for him coz he said he makes it too basic lol. apart for
      stew, egusi, veg soup, and ogbono with turkey, beef, chicken and
      sea food that is about it.. why will I go and start fetching for
      pomo or shaki and all those mede medes ? Since this my generation
      is all about fitness and nutritious eating. Bobo and I tend to keep
      it basic because of the waist line..I know how to cook but that
      does not define if I am wife material or not. There is so much to
      try other than the regular naija HEFTY meals which in my opinion
      should not be eaten every week. Especially when you do not reside
      in Nigeria, how do I intend to get these ingredients or should
      money finish in african store because I want to show “wife
      material” skill..

    • tatafo September 25, 2013 at 5:37 PM

      If you’re cooking, open the windows and boil a pot of 1/2
      vinegar and 1/2 water to help neutralize the odors. The prep time
      issue is a major reason why I was turned off from cooking Nigerian
      food for a long time. Until I learned to plan ahead to help cut
      down on some of the time. As far as prep work goes, you can help
      yourself by prepping ahead of time. I know say for Naija, light is
      an issue but peeps with constant electricity, buy frozen spinach,
      pre-boil your meats and store in the freezer. And for peeps in
      naija, do the method of our mothers which turned a lot of us girls
      from cooking lol, ask your daughters or stewards to prep the
      ingredients.

      • CarliforniaBawlar September 26, 2013 at 9:35 AM

        ooooooooo!!!! tip of the century!! thanks!!!!
        I neutralize ammonia odors from cleaning my carpet with the vinegar thing, it never occurred to me for cooking. I hate my house smelling like food (any type of food,lol), especially when i’m having a dinner party.

    • jcsgrl September 25, 2013 at 6:27 PM

      Yeah a topic after my heart. Don’t like cooking either. Told Le Boo before we got married and he was ok with it. I throw down in the kitchen once in a while though but I’m a eat out person. But nja men shaa, after bobo said he was ok with it, na em one time in the middle of intense fellowship, he blurts out my non cookingness. Na em I blurt out but you knew that when I married you. Then he kept quiet and we went back to status quo…lol. He will not say I no warn am. I told him I’m hiring a cook cos I’m literally sick of cooking…

    • ty September 25, 2013 at 6:58 PM

      lol, it doesnt really matter to my boo whether i can cook or not but one thing i know is that he hates eating out, however he is a very good cook so i am trying to enjoy cooking as much as possible these days, if not wen we get married..hmmm! things will change and i know it

    • Modella September 25, 2013 at 7:31 PM

      I love Iyke former writeup..are you listening to those haters??

    • Anengeana September 25, 2013 at 8:54 PM

      Cooking is a gender neutral skill as far as I’m concerned. Some of the best cooks in the world are males.My elder brother used to say if he married a lady and realized she wasn’t good at cooking,he would make the stew and soup while she boiled the white rice and made the fufu plus I was discussing with a guy who said if a girl can’t cook he won’t marry her and I asked him “even if she met every other criteria?” And he said yes so if you want to marry a wife,cooking/culinary skills should be discussed and agreement should be signed to avoid wahala.

      • Mz Socially Awkward... September 27, 2013 at 6:23 PM

        That man must be a thief. So what’s his own selling point, as he get criteria of 1000% out of 100% that he’s setting for the future wifey?

        And the women are being encouraged to stop setting their own benchmarks (see certain comments to that Aunty Bella post on “Miss 35″) & just settle…

    • nunu September 25, 2013 at 9:36 PM

      I love cooking and trying new things in the kitchen. But
      ,sometimes I just want to sit down and look without cooking
      anything! That’s my worry for marriage,but he can eat anything as
      far as I cook it.

    • Blessmyheart September 25, 2013 at 9:39 PM

      I’ve been told my food taste good (by my hubby and siblings
      though *shrugs*) but I don’t particularly like cooking. Infact, I’m
      not really a domestic person. Thankfully, I have a very
      understanding husband and he knows what his options are on
      weekdays. Lol. I try to put in some effort on weekends though
      asides the mandatory soup and stew cooking. All I can say is thank
      God for my husband.

    • satisfiedWIFEofOYIBOman September 26, 2013 at 11:00 AM

      I can’t cook to save my life! I was never interested. When I met my husband, he used to cook and I thought it was a phase! 1 year later, I don’t even know where the spices are kept, we go shopping and all I do is push the trolley, if he allows me to! I prayed for a man who can cook, and God gave me one. Anytime I complain that he is spoiling me, he says, he can’t clean to save his life, so we are a team! He cooks! I clean! I don’t even want to cook sef, his food is so DELICIOUS he knows now to always keep 2nd helpings by the side.

    • remie September 26, 2013 at 2:03 PM

      Cooking for me could be fun, infact, wen i newly got married some 3years back… i had prepared a food timetable… though, we both work on the island, come n go together, i always ensured i made dinner. Fast forward to present day, i havent made dinner for the past 3months…. the only time i get to cook is in the morning when my son needs his lunch pack(his 2years), after that, nothing happens till the next morning. However, i try to make up on saturdays mostly… i prepare solids and vegetable that are his favorites… but aside that, he doesnt bug me one bit! infact, when i tell people, they hardly believe me… My man just isnt a food person, and is happy with me, weather or not a make his meal…

    • Cuter mee September 26, 2013 at 4:39 PM

      i seriously enjoyed all the comments. i love to coooooook, and hopefully my husband will enjoy eating all my tasty meals once a week [saturdays].lol

    • Ese September 26, 2013 at 5:37 PM

      I love to cook n I can almost cook anything n it will taste very good thans to my mum , that being said I Dnt want to b cooking or doing any domestic work every day …

    • annybeke September 27, 2013 at 3:27 PM

      madame cook is my 2nd name, kai! I can whip up a delicious meal, any day, any time and le boo loves to eat, we were a team (i cook, he eats and every one is happy) until the constraints of my job won’t let me. after a hard day’s job d last place i wanna find myself is a kitchen but le boo no understand oooh…..e go want make i enter kitchen continue to pound! i no fit noo and if that wil be d end of this relationship so be it cos i no wan wake up 4 hospital in d name of marriage material skills.

    • inosend September 27, 2013 at 4:46 PM

      PLATO or whatever you are i would hate to be friends with someone who reasons like you….. gosh..just hear yourself here “”"It’s as if you’re one of the many Nigerians with a complex when it comes to our cuisine and obviously confused about ur cultural identity when it comes to food”"”" what is bringing complex and confusion into this matter…..cant people read an article and see the humor in it? your type will be very difficult to live with….
      anyway back to the matter at hand joo, i think i agree with you somewhat…i grew up in a typical naija home but somehow amongst my siblings i tend to eat more of the oyibo kinda foods and i don’t apologize to anyone for that…..i love to cook, bake and try all kinda recipes from all over the world…thank God am married to a man who doesnt fret much with what i give and is content to eat pounded yam at least 2wice a week and he doesnt even insist i do it in a mortar….truth is not all men are food crazy and its about what works for both of you..me i dont like swallow much so while i cook poundo and banga for oga i can eat my spagetti or indomie life goes on…..so cos someone does not eat much of the naija food is nothing to do with complex or confusion about cultural identity…

    • inosend September 27, 2013 at 4:48 PM

      **** I agree with the writer*****

    • larz September 27, 2013 at 5:32 PM

      there is no generic answers
      - if you marry a man that loves food but hates, and you dont cook. then there is a prb
      -if you marry a man that loves his African dishes n doesnt cook n yu hate making them there is a prb
      - if u marry a man that loves italian food n u only sabi cook naija meals, wahala
      marriage is shud occur with those that you are compartible with.

    • omada September 28, 2013 at 12:30 AM

      Since I hate all forms of housework, I probably shouldn’t bother praying for a husband then….

    • Idak September 28, 2013 at 1:36 PM

      Not again!
      Before it was sex,now it is food. Enough of these lies. A man that will leave will leave. The one that will see. And find nookie outside will still do so,irrespective of whether you hang from the ceiling to Suck his D or if Jamie Oliver anoints you.
      That does not mean that women should not learn to improve their culinary skills but to be judged by that or being made to feel guilty and insecure is just not on.
      In the same way I encourage all wives to improve their BJ skills.

    • Amah September 28, 2013 at 6:06 PM

      Totally agree with this writer – there’s more to food than rice/eba/poundo/fufu/amala/starch or tuwo (did i leave any out!) and stew…! Just how I feel right now about cooking Niaja food – too much hassle and takes forever (like a whole weekend)… I just don’t have the time (too busy reading blogs…!). So now my trick is to only cook Niaja stew once a month then FREEZE it..! Growing up, we always had ground rice. My mum NEVER cooked us a Sunday roast – i don’t think she knew how. She never baked either – does that make my childhood a deprived one?..

    • Hmmm September 29, 2013 at 11:02 AM

      Thank God for my husband….. Gosh i love him, our first date was at his house and him cooking for me, ever since that day my life has never been the same again haha. My husband can cook, clean and do all sorts of house work just name it. Me in the other hand i can do it all also but God blessed me with a man that LOVES doing it for me. I am spoilt & i know it, my husband does it all for me. We only have one agreement which is when his family visit i do they cooking #dasall hehe life is good!

    • Donthavetimeforrubbish September 30, 2013 at 1:25 AM

      “sweet potatoes with peppered mackerel served with a warm spinach, mushroom and walnut salad, is doing a good of keeping him at home. The absence of ‘shaki’ and ‘cow foot’ has not caused any arguments though”…………….You see this statement has me scratching my head, first of all,ur husband go dey chop one edikangkong for one corner and why in the world would I want to be eating walnut salad? Kilo’ n je be? What happened to efo riro or efo elegusi? Mackerel is fish, but spinach?Agreed, they are healthy but my taste buds need to be given work to do.On the other hand, is she sure her husband isn’t being fed efo riro with “efo” on the low low? “Keep my husband at home”…make she go one Naija catering school sharp sharp!!!

      • slice September 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM

        Hehehehe american women have been known to snatch naija men from naija women o. Maybe after eating efo riro etc at home for 5 years, they met some chick that madesalmon and spinach and u know what they say abt variety. Or maybe it was the blow job. Either way dudes moved on. And what of the calabar chicks they say women shouldn’t leave around their men. Maybe she fed him edi kain kong, blew his mind in bed and he was gone. There’s always sthg……

    • Anonymous October 1, 2013 at 9:47 AM

      I hate cooking and I get confused and nervous when I am in the kitchen. Apart from stew, yam pottage and Ogbono soup which I love and cook perhaps once in 3 years, I’d just rather fry plantain and make indomie noodles. I’ve been married for 11 years and my husband loves food and can cook. He watches the food channel and master chef, chopped, iron chef and all these programs. We’ve had lots of fights and he has reported me to various people but it is what it is. I’d rather wash his clothes and clean the house. I have someone who does the cooking. He knew I couldn’t cook before he married me.

    • ijescorner October 17, 2013 at 11:15 AM

      I love food: cooking, eating, watching it on tv (no I am not obese, a healthy UK size 8 – thank you!)

      I think cooking Nigerian dishes seems more important in Nigeria (so the women think). But in UK places like Mama Cass, 806, Presidential are full to the brim with men hungering for a taste of Nigerian food.

      To say that cooking curry is quicker than stew is a tad misleading. The good thing about Nigerian dishes is that you can actually part prepare some of the ingredients. For example you can blend a large quantity of tomato and pepper that you can cook out a bit, and you can use the mix for stew or jallof with a few more added ingredients. The same with soups, you can use the stock from the meat you boil to form the base of your soups. So once a week perhaps you could boil enough meat and stock which you can be divided into small containers. You thaw each container to make quick fresh soup daily if needed. Just add a few more spices, palm oil, and the needed veggie and you are good to go!

      ijescorner.tumblr.com

      • not the girl yoy know November 17, 2013 at 8:10 AM

        You mean 805 restaurant, rather than 806.
        In response to the article, I’ll say to each her own. I do not enjoy any form of house labour. Anything apart from noodles, rice, legumes, fruits and baked items, I order. I have maids who clean, iron and ensure my house is in sparkling condition. I have no intention of getting married as I enjoy my life the way it currently stands. However, if anybody expects me to start cooking or being Mrs House, (s)he is set up for disappointment.

    • t.man November 23, 2013 at 6:00 AM

      hehe… c a myriad of ladies confessing their cooking defects and defending it with their hubby’s inattention to their culinary skill… hmm dat one dey ohh!! but friends if am going to b sincere with you its to tell you dat poor culinary skills on d part of a woman its a no..go¿ some guyz will tell you ‘i don’t mind’and sincerely they don’t mind but wait till another person begins to satisfy him there, consciously or unconsciously he begins to warm up to her and suddenly #zap!!# its jst b basic male psychology or have’t u heard dat d road to a manz heart is his stomach. Dis brief example i gave now is equally similar to a man who goes out of his way to b nyc and caring to a lady all d tym maybe he may not ask you out or the sort but unconsciously u c ur sef warming up to such a dude. So my advice is plain;4 a healthy and scandal free relationship everybody should play their part well ohh!