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BN Prose: In the Hands of Love (Part 2) by Shola Pacheco

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The weeks that followed were the most difficult of my life. Uche did his best to console me, but the prognosis from the doctor seemed to get worse and my own ability to stay hopeful waned under the pressure of it all. My oncologist decided that the best line of treatment was to undergo a course of chemotherapy to shrink the tumor and then operate to remove whatever was left. I reacted badly to the chemotherapy from the start. My skin became incredibly pale and my hair was falling off in clumps. My best friend Lola had bought me a very nice wig, but my scalp had developed a rash so I couldn’t wear it. I had also lost all my appetite. Even when I did manage to eat anything, my stomach would immediately force me to throw it all up again. The only thing I had strength for was sleep. I could tell that everything was beginning to take its toll on Uche because he got more and more withdrawn. At first he would accompany me to the hospital for each chemotherapy session but as the weeks progressed he gave more and more excuses why he couldn’t come. Even when he did come he stared at me like I was some strange creature.

The other morning I caught him staring at me as I dressed up to go the hospital. The look on his face a mixture of both  fear and disgust. I knew he would need time to process all that was happening. It couldn’t be easy for him either. But I could literally feel him moving away from me both physically and emotionally. We hardly spoke a word to each other, even on the days when I felt like my old self conversation between us still seemed strained. I discussed this with Lola and she told me to concentrate on getting well and give Uche time to process his thoughts.

On the day of my operation Lola and her mother had arrived first thing in the morning with members of their prayer group. They came armed with various bible passages and prayer points. It was like a mini church. I felt so overwhelmed as Lola’s mother held my hand and prayed for me like I was her own daughter. But there was no Uche. No phone call, no flowers – nothing. I wasn’t sure which was worse, the pain of his absence or the fear of my pending operation. But I willed myself to concentrate on the goodwill of Lola’s mother’s church members and their prayers. Tears of fear rolled down my eyes as the nurse wheeled me into the theatre. I was happy to see the familiar face of Dr Smith. He and my father had been good friends but I was still surprised that he had come to see me.

“Don’t worry Didi, you will be just fine”, he whispered as he took my hand. The anesthetists stood on my left. “Okay Didi he said in a calm voice. I want you to count from 1-10 backwards….”

I began to count….“10, 9, 8, 7, 3…….”

………………………………………………..

When I opened my eyes I wasn’t exactly sure where I was. The faint smell of cleaning products and the beeping of machines invaded my memory and I realized I was in the hospital. Had my operation been successful? Where there any complications? I immediately reached for my breasts and although I winched at the soreness I was glad to find them still intact.

“Praise the Lord, praise Jesus!”

I opened my eyes wide enough to see Lola’s mother standing over me praying. Tears began to well up in my eyes as it finally dawned on me that I was alive. God had saved me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he had saved me from cancer as well. Lola squeezed my hand gently.

“Its good to have you back Didi, I have missed you. Mama has been praying for you since they wheeled you out of the theatre. I am surprised you didn’t wake up sooner. Even the nurses have been complaining”

I smiled. Its good to be back.

Dr Smith entered the room then. I was glad to see him. Both he and Lola”s mother had acted like my parents through out my ordeal.

“The operation was very successful Didi. Your doctor will soon be here to give you more details. But you should get some rest and no distractions” he said as he shot Lola’s mother a quizzical look.

“You call prayer distraction?” She said shooting him back her own version of a quizzical look.

“Mummy its okay! Didi needs her rest. Let us go”. Said Lola.

I was glad to have them here with me. But where was Uche? As if sensing my thoughts Lola said, “he didn’t come dear, but don’t focus on that, focus on getting better”, she said as she kissed me on my cheek and left with mama and Dr Smith. I was afraid of being alone with my thoughts, afraid of the impending pain that would materialize if Uche never showed up. But my body would not allow me think, instead it craved sleep and for the next 3 days that was all I did. Often I would wake up to the sound of both Lola and her mother arguing in the room or when the doctors or nurses came to check on me. But not once did the sound of Uche’s voice wake me up.

After two weeks in the hospital I was finally discharged. Although I was told that I still had a long road to getting back to my former self, the doctors were adamant that I would make a full recovery. Lola’s mother attributed it all to her prayers and I was only too glad to agree with her. On the day I was discharged, both Lola and her mother came to pick me up with Dr Smith. As they wheeled me to the car park, I couldn’t help but feel my lungs enlarge as I felt the fresh air cascade through my nostrils. It felt good to be alive and I looked up towards heaven with silent prayer of thanks.

Lola had moved into my apartment to stay with me while I recovered. Some of my other cousins and friends had also dropped by to say hello. It really did feel good to see them all. But yet there was no Uche. No phone call , no flowers, nothing. I kept expecting him to walk through the door and take me in his arms, God knew I missed being in those arms. But he never came. After all the guests had gone, Lola started clearing up the house, no matter how much I begged her she wouldn’t let me help. Instead she instructed me to go and sleep. I decided to put some of my clothes I had taken with me to the hospital back in to my wardrobe when I saw it. It was my sleep over bag. The bag where I kept all my toiletries and extra clothing for staying over at Uche’s house. I always kept it at Uche’s house incase I slept over at his. What was it doing here? I brought the bag out of the wardrobe and began looking through its content half hoping to find some reason why the bag had mysteriously reappeared at my house.

I turned round and saw Lola in the room. She had a sad look on her face.

“Didi please leave that bag alone. Just try and get some rest”.

“Lola what is this bag doing here. It isn’t meant to be here”. My heart was willing her to give me any other explanation than the obvious. She led me to sit on the bed and brought out an envelope from one of the side pockets of the bag. I anxiously took the envelope from her and tore it open, inside it where a spare set of keys and a letter. I glanced at her quickly as I hurriedly scanned through the letter. It was written with Uche’s hand writing. I gulped a handful of saliva. Tears automatically began flowing from my eyes even before I finished reading the letter. The wording of the letter was straight to the point.

Dear Didi

I am so sorry to do this to you but I don’t think I can continue with our relationship. I will always love you and I wish you a speedy recovery.

Love

Uche

I read the words of the letter over again and again, the pieces of my world crashing down as I reread each word. Lola put her arms round me. I couldn’t stop crying, how could Uche do this to me? How could he leave me when I needed him most? How could he? Where was I going to start from? I cried painful tears until inaudible words began escaping from my lips. I tried to articulate how I was feeling to Lola but instead tear stained words was all I could muster. Lola looked at me with a knowing smile and held me until I fell asleep in her arms.

Months went by and there was no Uche. He didn’t return my phone calls neither did he reply my emails or text messages. He was gone, just like my cancer.

————————————————————–

Six months later, on my way to lunch after Sunday service I bumped into Jay Jay. He was his usual corny self.

“Hello angel” remember me? But I was no longer the same Didi he met at the airport that day.

“I smiled but in my head I thought, this was the same guy who called me angel the day my life became a nightmare” I wasn’t in the mood to carry the conversation further. Ignoring my rather unfriendly attitude, Jay Jay proceeded to ask for my number. I promptly refused, without even bothering to give him any reasonable excuse for my refusal but he persisted. I finally gave in and his smile seemed to extend to the back of his ears. He really did seem like a happy chap! But my heart was closed off to any romantic possibilities. I still wanted Uche. Lola thought I was crazy but I didn’t care. I loved him. This Jay Jay fellow was nothing more than a distraction.

But no matter how much I tried Jay Jay wouldn’t give up. He was there for me no matter what I needed. He surprised me at work with flowers, drove me around when my car was at the mechanics, helped me redecorate my house and even followed me for my regular check up at the hospital. But my heart was closed. I wanted Uche not Jay Jay. Even though Lola knew how I felt about Uche, she continued to tease me about Jay Jay. It really did irritate me how she would make kissing noises anytime Jay Jay phoned or how she would start singing ‘Iyawo Jay Jay” anytime he sent flowers or chocolates over.

My car finally gave up on me and I decided to buy a new one. Jay Jay had been kind enough to drive me round all week but I felt he was getting too close, so one day during my lunch break, I went over to the Honda Place close to work to shop for a new car. I had barely taken five steps into the show room when I heard someone call out my name

“Ndidi”! My feet froze to the ground as the familiar voice of Uche washed over my body like a bucket of ice water.

“Ndidi is that you?” The voice was getting closer. I contemplated turning and running straight through the door but my feet would not move. I just stood there like a frozen ice sculpture threatening to melt at the mere sight of the man.

“Ndidi! Oh my God you look amazing. It’s been so long!” He was now standing right in front of me hugging me. I had rehearsed in my mind over a hundred times all the things I would say to Uche if I ever saw him again, but today, standing here looking at him, his smile, it was all I could do to keep myself from fainting. My mind was suddenly entangled with a multitude of emotions, anger, pain, fear and even love.

“I have missed you” he said looking at me. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you”, I finally said.

“What are you doing here, don’t tell me you are buying a new car?”

“Yes I am” I whispered in return.

“Oh, you should have told me! The manager here is my good friend I can get you some good discounts”.

And that was how it happened. In less than an hour I was the owner of a brand new car which Uche had financed under his name using his credit. I felt like God had taken away my ability to speak. I just sat there as Uche did all the negotiating with the Show Room manager. We met up later that night at his apartment for a celebratory dinner. I tried my hardest to remain angry. I tried to conjure up a host of angry emotions that would enable me fight the yearning my heart felt towards him but it was pointless. One kiss was all it took. Just one sweet tender kiss and I found myself naked in Uche’s bed, moaning at the feel of his touch. But this time it was different. It wasn’t like previous times when I could feel every part of him inside me, I didn’t feel the usual tingling feeling in my stomach when his hands caressed my breast, the space in-between my legs didn’t erupt with pleasure from the intensity of his trusts. Instead I felt numb and dry, almost like the parts of car engine that needed oiling. I went home later that night feeling like a sinner. When I saw Lola in the kitchen the following morning I could barley look her in the eye, and I ignored all her usual morning teasing about why I had come home late the previous night.

I felt really bad about keeping my relationship with Uche a secret from both Lola and Jay Jay but it was my life and I was entitled to do what I pleased. But everything done in the dark always has a way of coming to light. One evening Uche had come to see me at the apartment. I was so frightened that Lola would see him I suggested we stayed in the car park. Just as he was leaving, he leaned in to give me a kiss just as Jay Jay was parking his car. The look on Jay Jay’s face needed no explanation. My heart missed several beats as I waved Uche good bye and walked towards Jay Jay. But he didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to. He had come by to drop some DVD’s he’d borrowed the previous week. He handed the DVD’s over to me and left. Two days later, Lola and I had a huge fight about it all. She told me she thought I was making a huge mistake and couldn’t believe how stupid I was being. In return I told her to keep her nose out of my business.

I really was upset about how much pain my relationship with Uche was causing and I started experiencing a longing for the peace and serenity that my friendship with Jay Jay had brought. I caught myself staring at one of the pictures we had taken together and I was shocked about how fond of him I had become. He was the steady hand i needed, a reliable friend and a very sweet person. I really did miss him. But I was with Uche now and there was no more room for Jay Jay.

Three weeks after my fight with Lola, I got home from work to find Jay Jay standing in front of my door. He didn’t have his usual warm smile but my heart still leapt at the sight of his face. I opened the door and he came in. At first we talked about random things, work, my health, Lola and then he got straight to the point.

“Didi, I’m in love with you”.

My eyes widened in surprise. Not at what he said by the sheer intensity of his words.

“You know I love you”. He continued. “I know I have no right to ask you to feel the same way I feel but I love you too much to let you be with someone who doesn’t deserve you. I want to make you happy. Even if you choose to be with someone else, I want you to be happy with him. But I know for a fact that that Uche guy can never make you happy”.

Somewhere deep down inside I knew he was right. I wanted to tell him I loved him too. I wanted to reach out and hold him and tell him how much I missed him, but my tongue couldn’t form the words. Instead I mumbled a half hearted “thank you” in reply. Thinking he had said all he had come to say I offered him a drink hoping that the alcohol would help settle the awkwardness I was beginning to feel, but he had more to say.

“Ndidi, I cant wait for you forever. I have been offered a job in Nigeria. I leave in 3 days that was what I came to tell you the other day when I saw you kissing him. I want a family Ndidi. I have been alone for a long time. I want a wife….I want us to get married”.

I laughed. “You are joking right? I can’t marry you! I barely know you!”

“How well do you know Uche?” He said matter-of-factly.

“That’s none of your business”. I replied angrily. It really wasn’t his business, who did he think he was anyway!

Sensing I was beginning to get angry. He got up and walked to the door. I followed behind, half of me hoped he wouldn’t leave. When he got to the door, he turned and hugged me and then placed a small piece of paper in my hand and whispered “think about it, that’s all I ask”. Inside the small paper were details of the registry downtown. He had booked a wedding date for us. I was livid! I slammed the door behind him. Later that night when I told Lola all that had happened, she said I was foolish not to marry Jay Jay. I couldn’t believe the kind of advice she was giving me! Leave a man I had dated for 4 years to marry another man that I had known for barely 6 months. She must be mad!

The next day I decided to visit Uche. I needed to rest in the comfort of his arms, the madness of the previous day was getting to much and the tension between Lola and I was beginning to ruin our friendship. Throughout the day at work I couldn’t wait to see Uche, after all it was Uche I loved and Uche who had proposed to me first. I had been calling Uche all day but his phone had been switched off, I assumed he was in a meeting and would be very hungry when he got home. So after work I went to the supermarket to get some groceries, I was going to make him a fantastic meal and forget all about Jay Jay. I walked into Uche’s flat placed all the groceries in the kitchen and then went into the bedroom to change my clothes. And there I saw it. Uche in bed with another woman. For a second I thought my cancer had returned and I was undergoing chemotherapy, all my emotions gathered at the base of my throat threatening to over flow through my mouth.

Uche immediately got out of bed and began to plead with me. I couldn’t even hear a word of what he was saying. My mind had suddenly entered a place of peace as I saw again flashes of the piece of paper Jay Jay had handed me the previous day. I looked at my watch it was 6.22pm, I had barely an hour to make it across town to where the registry was. I stormed out of Uche’s room grabbed my car keys and hand bag and ran straight to my car. I was going to marry Jay Jay!

……………………………………

I got to the registry at exactly 7.15. I was 15 minutes late. I took a quick look at myself using my rearview mirror. I looked a hot mess. My hair was all out of place and my makeup was now almost non existent. But I didn’t care. I just hoped Jay Jay was still there waiting for me.

I opened the door of the registry my eyes scanning through the occupants of the building like a mother looking for her lost child. And there he was, smiling at me with the very same smile he had the first day I met him at the airport. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. I walked towards him only to find Lola, her mother and Dr smith all standing waiting with him. Tears began to well up in my eyes. This was my family, the people who had stood with me when it mattered most. They were here and they were the only ones I needed. I walked straight into Jay Jay’s embrace, I walked into the arms of the one I loved and that is where I intend to stay forever.

Photo credit: http://farm3.static.flickr.com

BN Prose Series is a longer section of ‘BN Prose’ where authors can send in longer submissions which would be featured on a weekly or daily basis. Its Bella Naija’s own version of a prose soap opera! If you would like your submission to be featured here please send an email to glory.edozien@bellanaija.com.

72 Comments

  1. cuteb

    September 15, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    hmmm….nice read but sounds a bit fairy tale or m&b like.

    • ufedo

      September 16, 2010 at 10:36 am

      my sentiments exactly.

  2. Ronnie

    September 15, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    Oh my days!..What a story. Don’t like that she married Jay Jay so fast though. I feel she should have waited. Seems like she married him because of what that stupid Uche did. Anyway, nice work Shola Pacheco.Totally Awesome!

  3. Pinky

    September 15, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    This is simply amazing… My eyes are all watered up… I almost want it to be a true story…
    Well done to the writer… You cannot buy this kind of talent…

  4. Tee

    September 15, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Fantastic story!!! Had me tearing up seriously in my office. Great stuff.

  5. anthonia abu

    September 15, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    wow,,,almost in tears

  6. tai

    September 15, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Omg this is d best prose I’ve read on BN,my heart was in my mouth hoping it didn’t have another part. This is d first time am commenting loved every bit of it,Great job!!!!!!! Shola

  7. phunk

    September 15, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    fantastic conclusion!!!!!!!!! well done Shola

  8. fokasibe

    September 15, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Well….I second what Ronnie said, that she rushed in to Jay jay cos she saw Uche in bed with his lover…I guess with prose you do not have the luxury of time or paragraphs….lol…Overall it was well written and I like the impulsive registry marriage bit tho!

  9. pearl

    September 15, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I had tears rolling down my face reading through. thank you for sharing this, its beautiful.

  10. Faith

    September 15, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    very moving. i was in tears as i finished this.

  11. oby

    September 15, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Mmmh,a bit too M&Bish but so are romcoms.Good grammar though but a few forgivable omissions.

  12. KOKOlet

    September 15, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    hmmmm…o me gosh…*clap CLAP clap*

  13. ego

    September 15, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    How old are you Bellanaija readers? Are you guys for real? even as a 13 year old teenager, i understood good prose and ‘crappy’ substandard prose. This story is mediocre at best… Why do you guys celebrate mediocrity so? Are you guys for real that you had tears rolling down your faces? and one claims she was in the office – i believe you mean in kindergarten class.

    @Shola, i sincerely have nothing against you. But if i am to be honest with you, you have a loooooooooooong way to go in your writing career. I will suggest you do a lot of reading ( start with the classics) and then gradually develop your style. Improve the structure of your story and of course the grammar/tenses. Secondly try as best to write realistic stories that the ordinary man can relate to except you are writing for 5 year olds. This story, is unrealistic e.g uche’s unexplained absence and her failure to make an attempt to reach him… her marriage to Jay jay and her sudden realisation of her love for him triggered only by her witnessing Uche’s betryal is laughable, a joke and very poor story telling. It does nothing for the plot. Perhaps you have or may be influenced by nollywood? if that’s the case, forgive my utterances; as this script is more suited for a very crappy nollywood movie.
    I wish you all the best in your writing.

    • shola Pacheco

      September 15, 2010 at 2:00 pm

      Thanks Ego…Ur comment is very much appreciated….Don’t forget to be an ambassador for the cause of cancer….statistics show someone we know, family or acquaintances will be affected by cancer..spread the word…

    • ego

      September 15, 2010 at 2:58 pm

      My dear Shola, you are beyond gracious. May the good lord strengthen your fingers and your thought, may you become one of the greatest writers. I sincerely wish you the very best. Look for ways to develop your plot and make the story more realistic. You do have an interesting love story to tell – go and tell it well 🙂

  14. shola Pacheco

    September 15, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Thanks everyone for the lovely comments, And a big thank you to bella and her team for posting this piece.

    Lets spread the word, examine Yourself from time to time….Cancer is no respecter of persons. Get checked it wont do any harm.

    Hopefully The next piece would be better..Thanks guys

  15. ego

    September 15, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    …and @ Bella, i believe it is time you guys hire an ‘expert’ to edit and or choose the prose that should be published on BN prose. Or don’t you guys have standards? Do you just publish whatever is submitted. Come on you have to raise your game here. I understand that it might not be your main area of interest and you want to give aspiring writers a platform for their stories to be aired.

    However, like everything else it is important you ensure that it is work worth publishing. I suspect that you suspect/know that majority of your readers are easily pleased and have better eyes for brazilian hair, lacefront and designer bags and shoes than they do for good literary works. Some of us prefer these works over trendy fashion. We want, desire and demand quality. Thank you.

    And please post my comments. I believe they are valid opinions and observations 🙂

    • Ronnie

      September 15, 2010 at 2:12 pm

      Mz Ego! your comments are a bit harsh, not just to the writer but also the readers. It’s alright to criticise but your criticism stinks if I may say. I expect to read something from you soon. Lets see how you do!

    • KOKOlet

      September 15, 2010 at 2:19 pm

      OMG! ….SEE dissing oh! chei! lolz…i shant take dis!….in d name of constructive criticsm shey?..Lmao!!!

    • Molicious

      September 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm

      Just because some people enjoy the story does not mean they are celebrating mediocrity. If you want to give Shola and BN constructive criticism, that’s perfectly fine, there’s always room for improvement but abeg leave the rest of us commentators out of it. We all have different realities and read from different perspectives; be mindful and respectful of that before you diss people in the name of “valid opinions and observations”.

    • DUDU

      September 16, 2010 at 8:52 am

      Ego, we look forward to reading your perfect prose. Why do i have a feeling that we may have to wait forever.

  16. Daba

    September 15, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Great work Shola, beautiful story!

  17. mr man

    September 15, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    fantastic write -up, so the morale of the story is dat, she pitied jay jay and married him because her darling uche cheated on her…… i tot, marriage was about love not pity…… besides if it was the other way around, am sure jay jay will be caled all sort of names

  18. dami

    September 15, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    wow this is better than those romantic books that i always read lol

  19. Demilade

    September 15, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    First and foremost, This is a lovely Piece Shola Pacheco.Cancer is one disease I wouldn’t wish on my enemy. I am so glad this piece showed the effects and impact cancer can have on any relationship.

    Secondly @ Ego. Ur comment reflects Who U are. If U didn’t like the piece U could have moved along…It might sound like a nollywood movie to U, Maybe it is, maybe not. But if U haven’t written anything then U need to keep shut.

    Shola’s reply to you shows U she is way above loud mouths like U…..Mz Ego. such comment was way out of line. What goes around comes around and I hope U don’t end up getting cancer…no hard feelings just a thot.

    • ego

      September 15, 2010 at 4:39 pm

      I am in shock as to how my comments regarding my own take on a short story as this one has led to you hoping or wishing that i get or do not get cancer. I hope you understand now why i question the age or maturity of the the readers of this blog.

      Please tell me why i should move along and not comment if i don’t like the way a story has been written. Did she write it because she expects that we will all like it? Do you understand the necessity of criticism(regardless of how harsh it comes across). Do you think Shola will ever improve her writing skills if she is only praised and not criticised?

      I still do not understand how my not liking the story will lead to me having cancer or what exactly do you mean by what goes around comes around? that all of a sudden i will suffer the same fate as the protagonist in this story just because i don’t like how the writer has told her story? Honestly you guys won’t kill me with laugher and shock!
      Did you even read my response to Shola’s response? I hope you learn from her on how to be gracious instead of writing empty threats and wishes.

      @ Bella, i see you failed to post my response to ‘ronnie’, i will repost it. I think it is a bit hypocritical of you to post comments from people like demilade and ronnie and then you censor mine. I haven’t written anything particularly horrible. I hope you will be neutral and post my responses. Tnx.

    • Ronnie

      September 15, 2010 at 6:00 pm

      Pleeeasssse Bella!! release “Ego’s” comment to me as I’m curious as to what she has to say for herself. Like I said, i don’t have a problem with criticism but when you open your loud mouth to insult people whose opinions differ from yours, then we have a problem!!…learn like Shola to be G-R-A-C-I-O-U-S!!!!

    • B!

      May 16, 2013 at 5:51 pm

      I don’t think you should bother ego. Some people are naturally vicious, control freaks who believe that everyone else’s opinion must be aligned with theirs.

      On the story itself I have to agree. This IS mediocre. And this is a public forum so readers are allowed to critique. We are all adults here (I assume) so let’s try and act like it. Anyone saying another person will get cancer for stating their opinion simply doesn’t deserve to be reckoned with.

  20. ogy

    September 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    @Shola. Nice write up. For me its the effect cancer can have on us and the pple around us. Well yes the story sounds somehow BUT BUT i get the message u tried to pass along.
    @Ego, yes a bit harsh n personal i think. Maybe u need to re-read d story to see it from a d/ff point of view.
    @Bella pls do continue with ur prose, someone of us really do enjoy it.

    thanx

  21. temi

    September 15, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Very good writeup and story. Cancer is real and we all need to be aware of that and take the necessary precautions.
    I like how you incorporated education about the realism of cancer, love and importance of having a support base all in a story.
    Not many write-ups here can claim that. I just wanted to point something out, its really not that important because it doesn’t take away from the story/lesson learned…to me. In part one you said she met Jay-jay six years ago (as she was on her way to the wedding). Then in the second one, you mentioned she had been with uche for 4 years, she knew uche before jay jay, and less than 6 months of meeting jay-jay she was getting married to him. I didn’t understand how the 6 years added up. I was a bit thrown off by the calculations so i just thought i point it out to you 🙂 Good work though, cheers!

    • jcsgrl

      September 15, 2010 at 4:37 pm

      Ah I though I was the only one who was confused with this write up. Part 1 and 2 did not add up. Now I see why “ego” is upset. Though her comments were a bit harsh and quite personal but worth taking a note. Pls lets do a better editing job before you post bcos some of us do appreciate good literature and abhor incoherency and bad grammar.

  22. swthrt

    September 15, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    @ Ogy, Demilade and Ronnie, Why waste your breath on a teenager 13 years of age? Aint worth it…

    Shows clearly her level….

    Nice piece!

    Bella keep posting your prose… especially the ones from upcoming writers..

  23. Ty

    September 15, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    As 4 me,i enjoyed d story,its jst normal 2 ve nay sayers.Its impt to do self examination & thank u shola 4 letting us knw d effects of cancer.Good write-up i must say….WINK….

  24. anoni

    September 15, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    @ temi come on, its not like u paid for a book….its a nice piece and u guys need to rem, this story must have been edited at some point. mistakes are common place.

    As for shola, God bless you. knowing u personally I know the issue of cancer is a dear topic to U and am so glad a lot of peeps here have examined themselves at one point or the other.

    Thanks bella, Interesting or not as some would say. U are doing a great job. more grease to both Shola and bella’s elbows…

    • temi

      September 15, 2010 at 5:42 pm

      Of course i am aware i didn’t pay for a book and if one was published, i wouldn’t mind paying for it. Am sure the author didn’t post this story for us to just say thumbs up or down, but for us to give constructive criticism as well. What i noted was not a grammatical error, mistype or misspelled words but a slightly major mistake that any writer would appreciate if they were in his/her shoes. Anyways, my comments were for Shola Pacheco and i know he will definitely appreciate it.

    • Kay 1..

      October 21, 2010 at 2:41 pm

      if i might add…temi’s observation seems more constructive to me than that ego character….i hadn’t notices temi’s point before, but i must add that it is a valid one n if made on a larger scale can be damaging…just tidy up d loose ends n shola ‘ll be reaching for the skies…cheers!

  25. iyabo

    September 15, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    i like you already and i don’t even know you

  26. iyabo

    September 15, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    that’s for Shola by the way

  27. Alero

    September 15, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    i have been in tears since I started reading the enire piece.To think that there is someone, somewhere in the world going thru this.My love to all Cancer patients.

  28. Molicious

    September 15, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    @ Shola awesome story, love the cancer awareness piece. I’ve lost two loved ones to cancer this year so I really love that Nigerians are talking about it and creating awareness. Blessings!

  29. adenike

    September 15, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    @Ego,if you’ve ever lost a relative or a friend to CANCER;you’ll definitely understand why i had tears in my eyes. It’s not every article that we all like/agree with but hurling insults at the writers/readers doesn’t portray you as intelligent. Now,if you think the article was crappy;i think you’re worse!
    I know your type,scrambling for fame on Bellanaija;well you sure got it……

    • ego

      September 15, 2010 at 7:12 pm

      hahaha, this, an article on cancer? you guys never fail to amaze me. Firstly, i am not privy to what would have inspired the writer to write this story, now that aside, it clearly states BN Prose and i will presume as the writer does not state otherwise that this short STORY (not artcle) is purely fiction. Again, if you read the story, the main character DID NOT DIE from cancer but survived it. The theme of the story is not centred on cancer but on the protagonist who survived cancer and was betrayed by her lover but remained adamantly in love with him even where love was offered elsewhere. I would say here that it is more of a story on love and betrayal and how love conquers all. Her cancer was just part of the tragedies she overcame.
      Now i don’t understand why all of you sentimental so and so’s have decided that this story is about cancer. For all intent and purposes (criers) the writer actually gave it a happy ending although it was delivered poorly, hastily and unrealistacally – a HAPPY ENDING IT WAS as she did not die from cancer but survived it and survived her betrayal and found LOVE. Jeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! guys get over yourselves, this is only fiction and it was not told well enough to evoke such emotions. But i am not surprised that you guys will react this way considering you’ve been lumbered with the melodrama of nollywood!

      @Bella, keep censoring my comments, we see how fairness abounds!

  30. Bim Bim

    September 15, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    why can’t we simply enjoy a love story and take note of some of the lessons without over-analysing the story? It’s just light reading. Life is too serious as it is, if u appreciate more gritty fare, then pass on it. So what’s wrong with a little escapism? sometimes we get so cynical, we forget to enjoy the little things. Thanks Sola for the story, it made me forget some dreary happenings of the last week, while reminding me to do my self exam.

  31. Tew mad

    September 15, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    @ego im shaking my damn head at ur ignorant remarks. Bella clearly is your daily tonic. enjoy the show why dontcha and stop teaching the producer how to run it!

  32. nawa

    September 15, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    EGO baby, u try, u try… clap clap….but i think u should just let it go, shola has taken note and will improve..we aint perfect, plus whts d hard beef on Nollywood? ALLOW..

  33. missbonnie

    September 15, 2010 at 10:48 pm

    nice write up Shola…

  34. D.O.T.M.H.

    September 15, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    ahn ahn!!! Na wa!!! Ego pls calm down now, don’t be angry. we are sorry please.

    Shola thank you for a beautiful story. I enjoyed it.
    Bless you.

  35. myra 9ja

    September 15, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    o ga o. hmmm…

  36. Cynthia

    September 16, 2010 at 3:42 am

    Ego pls before you open your mouth next time to criticize someone or something you need to review carefully how to offer criticism. Insulting someone’s work and other people who say they enjoyed it does not suddenly make you know better. So what if she is writing M&B type stories. So you want to explain to us that now you are above those high school stories and reading what ? Astrophysics abi na quantum mechanics?
    Anyway, Shola, I thought she met Uche at the airport and Jay Jay at church. So why does Jay Jay’s smile at the wedding remind her of his smile at the airport?

    • ego

      September 16, 2010 at 9:00 pm

      lol, your last sentence elicits my point… hehehe

    • saywot?

      September 22, 2010 at 4:12 am

      Actually, I think the story said she met Jay Jay at the airport. He was the manager of that Airline’s Outlet

  37. Ounje Mi

    September 16, 2010 at 3:46 am

    its nice, but why, o author of this amazing story did sex have to be in this? why couldn’t she love the uche guy without giving everything up. sex complicates things, if the boy dumped her she could her waved bye and that would have been it, so i ask, o author, is sex really that important to have in a story? reflect on it, for your next story which i will be on the look out for. you can have a perfectly wonderful story line without premarital sex.

  38. mariaah

    September 16, 2010 at 3:50 am

    Seriously ego you are just some annoying riff-raff! What’s your problem? Who are you, what have you achieved that you are trying to bring someone’s effort down! If you want to give constructive criticism this is so not the way to go about it you are insulting and being so bitchy about it.
    Anybody can see clearly that this story is centred around cancer even though she survived it like you pointed out. Some comments even showed the ladies did self-examination right where they were sat.
    You didn’t give credit for the flow and rhythm of the story, it transition from present to past to present, the use of medical terms and issues with treatment oohh yh that’s not “good enough” for miss ego ehhh. Get a grip, learn a trade, a language, take crocheting classes, read a book, just do something else rather than come here, run your mouth, bitch about someone else’s work and bang on about it being too Nollywood…

    @Shola good job! More grease to your elbow, may your ink never run dry..
    @ Bella naija… Sorry..

  39. mobvdo

    September 16, 2010 at 7:55 am

    Really nice prose Shola, well written and the message was received load and clear…….Hope you intend to churn it out into a short story, some NGO’s would back you up. God Bless

  40. Hotchocolate

    September 16, 2010 at 8:24 am

    Ego,i think u a sad and loud mouthed woman,to start with and i have through all levels of education and i learnt abt constructive criticism.if u are such an uptight perfectionist why havent you published one?you found something you didnt like u gently point it out to her and not pull her down and insult the other readers it only shows ur character as a woman.as others hhave clearliy pointed out their observation without raising dust,u shld do so too.
    Shola responded to ur criticism once and backed off thats maturity but u’ve just been ranting all over the page its very sickening .

    please Bella block her comments so we can all move on.

  41. Aibee

    September 16, 2010 at 11:21 am

    Shola, i’m really happy to read the concluding part of this story. Take the constructive criticisms in good faith and improve on your work Don’t let haters like Miss Ego -who I’m sure is still a Miss, Unmarried and very bitter at men, the world and the whole idea of love- deter you from honing your skills.
    Miss Ego, I’m looking forward to reading something more sensible from your brain than all the comments you uploaded aerlier. A short story from you would be great. I guess I’ll be a great great grandma 10 times over before that happens, right? Psschew! Bad belle dey worry you.
    @ Everyone else, early detection is key to treating cancer of ANY kind successfully. If we didnt learn anything from this story, let’s learn to do our BSEs (breast self exam) monthly, PAP smears where appropriate, dental check ups too ( mouth cancer is real, people). And guys (and the ladies who love the men in their lives – pass on the info, please) get tested for postrate cancer where appropriate.

    • ego

      September 16, 2010 at 8:53 pm

      and you somehow think that my being a miss equates to being bitter. I am not surprised as i am certain you are like the main character in this story who will rush into marriage and settle just because she was betrayed by the love of her life. I am not in a hurry to be Mrs anybody, i am perfectly fine being a miss. If and when he finds me, and i feel its right then i will take the plunge. Being a Mrs for me and unlike you is not a do or die affair nor is it a badge of honour 🙂

      In the meantime, i will suggest you guys treat this story as it is – pure fiction and stop speaking as though the characters are real people whom you can compare me with. Aside from that, i am way too sophisticated to belittle myself the way our protagonist did. Hers is not a story of love, but one of folly. I hope and pray that you’ll end up marrying like she did as you appear truly inspired by Ndidi’s love story as written by Shola

  42. Ty

    September 16, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    Miss EGO,i guess everyone will be expectin ur write up very soon, since u r perfect……(Long Hisssssssssssss).Ur mouth is so bitter & its nt gud enuf.There is a polite way 2 correct pple.
    @Shola;kip up d gud work…..

    • ego

      September 16, 2010 at 9:26 pm

      bitter? right way to correct people? what is all this nonsensical talk eh? hehehe come on i am not correcting her, i only criticised her work. And if you all read my initial comment to her, you’ll see that i highlighted the ‘weak’ areas and provided constructive criticism

      Now i have not read a single reason why any of you like this piece except those who have chosen to use it as an advertisement for cancer awareness. If that was the writer’s aim, then again i will reiterate that she did a bad job in getting her message through.
      I doubt if any of you would expect a pass in an examination that you’ve clearly failed. Quit the sentiments and learn to be CONSTRUCTIVE in your praises 🙂

      and bella will not post the reason why you can’t read my work hmmm, i wonder why? But i assure you guys, you’ll read it someday but definitely not on these pages 🙂

    • tilly

      November 26, 2010 at 5:05 pm

      Wow! @ ego, you do sound awfully familiar.
      Could your initials be E.N?
      Take it easy babes. hmmm, no sweat. 🙂
      @Shola. Great story. I really love the flow. it could be quite hard to pull off but you did it nicely.

  43. MO

    September 17, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    sooooooooooooooo sweet,little tears
    nice prose .well doneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  44. Nne

    September 17, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Ego, I pity u… if u continue this way, u will end up been bitter and a old maid… Try and be nice and not Sad and u’re not better than the people that have there prose here… Expecting to read from you soon, cos it seems u’re always online and very sad… .. @Shola more grease to your elbow, may God give you wisdom and understanding and Bless You… We are expecting more from you and your best is yet to come…

  45. Tina

    September 17, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    You guys, Ego is just a 13 year old teenager, she is showing her age. Her lack of maturity is quite obvious with the continuation of the rantings all over this form, and I’m sure she will have something to say about my post which will further confirm her immaturity, let’s just let it go, everyone is entitled to their opinions no matter what it is…

  46. ihuoma

    September 20, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    God bless You shola Pacheco…Great write-up. Please Ignore Ppl like ego who tear others down with their mouths…Read Ur other piece. Ur a great writer in the making.

    keep writing Some day U will be perfect…Ekene onu and myne whitman too started from somewhere…@ bellanaija…God bless U for encouraging young ladies like shola in exploring their hidden talents…

  47. ihuoma

    September 20, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    @shola Pacheco Are U the same person as shola-jewel pacheco on facebook???? Omg!!! You look really pretty too…Beauty and brains. Not a bad combo..

    Just added U.

  48. saywot?

    September 21, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    orisiris!!! This miss ego self!!! all because you understand small oyinbo?…if only you werent myopic and close minded in your thoughts, you would
    1) enjoy the emotions that this essay,fictitious/not, evokes and
    2)realise that it is indeed possible.

    i doubt if you are cognizant of the fact that the plot of the essay was not in Nigeria and believe me, i know well enough to say that all it takes for a marriage to take place in the States is the bride, groom and a couple of witnesses….do your research well. also, learn more civil ways of passing across educated criticisms,afteral,to some extent, for us to relate and understand this website, we must be pretty grounded,educationally. I understand you will have something to say after this post. Just to let you know, when worst comes to worst, I can be very caustic too,yet, i understand that this is a forum..so be mindful of how you reply this, if you decide to reply.

    As for the essayist,biko, well done!!! i spend way more time reading novels (which are most definitely ficititious) and still not feel the way i felt after reading this. More power to u Miss!!!

  49. beanie

    September 22, 2010 at 4:37 am

    hehehehe @ everyone….to play the Devil’s advocate let Ego voice her opinion o, in as much as she has done it in a way to expose her sophisticated yet unpolished self. it only shows she’s an epitome of contradiction which might be a plus….
    P.S. good command of english doesnt mean intelligent expression of thoughts

  50. jaydiva

    September 25, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    Wow!!! Amazing write up shola Pacheco…So proud of you babes. keep flying,Just like ur surname..I always knew there was something unique about U…more ink to ur [email protected] bellanaija Ur doing a great job, pls don’t let hungry and mean lions like ego devour U. keep it up.

  51. bignaijababe

    October 14, 2010 at 10:47 am

    After reading the prose i must confess it came across as an average piece. Ego hit the nail on the head with her points but her method of ‘delivering’ her criticisms was in bad taste.
    @shola …there is nothing wrong with what you wrote as i believe if you continue you will mature with time and your writing will become ‘seasoned’ keep up the good work!

  52. jamal

    October 21, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Lovely Write-up !!! Saw Ur blog on Cnn, My first time here….Inspiring story, I’m just amazed Y peeps be slagging off the writer.
    Great work shola…..

  53. David O

    October 22, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    A real tear jerker !!! 9ice one.

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