So last time I was on here I was talking about relationships.
This time, I am taking it a step further and I am talking about marriage…ok I take that back;
I am discussing weddings not marriage.
Today, the focus is not on the couple but on those very important people who supposedly make the day special – The Wedding Guests!
I travelled back to Nigeria for 3 weddings in May; 2 in Lagos and 1 in Abuja. I had lots of fun and caught up with old friends. I also marvelled at the advances that have been made on the Nigerian wedding scene. As P-Square would say “E No Easy O”.
Anyway, back to the guests, I witnessed so much bad behaviour that I just had to talk about it. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Bringing Uninvited Guests
One of the weddings I attended was a small (and very beautiful) invite-only wedding. The couple chose a small venue and ensured that their chosen guests were lavishly entertained. During the course of the event, one of the young ladies that was seated on my table, let’s call her Hauwa, went to “get her friends from the door”, what she failed to mention was that her friends were uninvited. Before we knew what was happening, raised voices could be heard from the door. She was having a shouting match with the bouncers because they “had the effrontery not to” let her friends in. It took several of the groom’s friends to calm her down, while the negotiations were taking place, she insisted that they call the bride so she could tell her about the situation, at that point, everyone just gave up and her friends were eventually let in. Since there were no seats from them, the waiters had to run around looking for seats! It was just too much. I just thought to myself…But HABA It’s Not Your Wedding!
Getting Drunk! Champers ALERT
Yes, I saw this one too many times. Young ladies, young men, aunties, uncles – all drinking way too much at weddings! I know that there is a certain level of excitement that comes when we see “free for all” champagne and other choice beverages. I confess that I was caught up at some point. That said, drunk dancing/drunk flirting/drunk speeches at a wedding is just not right.
This should probably have been number one! One of the weddings I attended was a big society “do” and that day, I saw outfits that I just cannot fathom how and why that seemed like a good choice for a wedding. I sincerely wish I could put up some of the photographs. Extremely short, extremely tight and many ill-fitting choices. I am definitely not a prude but this was just too much. There was a particular lady who was my schoolmate from secondary school in Nigeria, I actually saw her at the church ceremony and she had to ask to use someone’s pashmina to cover her thighs because of the church officials asked her to leave. This also applies to men. Please adhere to the dress code of the wedding. Jeans and worn-out shoes do not cut it. Thank you.
This is a special sub-section of the Dressing Inappropriately bit –
Competing with the bride – No it is not ok for you to wear a white/ivory flowing or floaty dress to a wedding. All I have to say is …But HABA It’s Not Your Wedding!
Joining the train “by force” – This one is actually very funny. I heard a story about a girl who saw BB photos of one of the bridesmaids from her fitting and then went to make an almost identical dress! It’s Not Right, It’s Just Not Ok. I will also like to add the Aso Ebi by force people.
Though it seems as though Aso Ebi is now for the “masses” rather than close friends and family; you do not have to obtain yours by dodgy means. I have heard numerous tales about people begging friends (or even tailors) for scraps of the aso ebi fabric to ensure their outfit is aso ebi complaint. Need I Say More?
Overfamilarity with the Bride & Groom aka Famzing
A few years ago, when my sister got engaged and leading up to her wedding, her popularity soared! I do not know what it is about weddings but I find that within our society, many just want to be close to the action. That is all well and good but on the wedding day, please celebrate but give the couple space!
I was on the bridal train for one of the weddings that I attended in Nigeria and there was this guest who – yes indeed is a friend of the bride but seriously she was not on the bridal train for a reason. On the wedding day, she basically tailed the bride – followed her to change outfits, carried her train, kept going to the gazebo to check on the couple. It was just too much! I know she meant well but my friend mentioned that she felt smothered by the unwelcome attention.
This is very important. Why attend a wedding if you are not happy for the couple. I spotted more than a few “side eye” glances to the couples. I also heard whispers like “Uhhh this decor is so 90s”, “They didn’t use enough fresh flowers”, “What sort of cheap champagne is this?”, “Eyahh I am so happy for the bride ooo, after all her runs in school, she has found a guy”, “Hmmm her dress is nice, she looks pregnant sha!”…All sorts! Please stay away if you are not happy.
Posting Inappropriate or unflattering photos on Facebook/Twitter/BB
Yes oooo we know you were at the wedding of the year. Yes oooo, we know you are so close to Mr and Mrs that you were at their hotel when they were getting ready. Photo sharing is great but please consider your “friend”. I have seen so many examples of this. Sweaty photos of the couple on Facebook, Cleavage shot of the bride on BB etc…
Its is great to share photos…But HABA It’s Not Your Wedding!
That’s it! If you have any to add please do so via the comment box.
I will add this before I leave.
How to be a Great Wedding Guest
- Arrive On Time (& Bring Your Invitation)
- Pray for the Couple
- Buy a Gift for the Couple
- Dress Appropriately
- Be Courteous (Ushers, Waiters & Bouncers Inclusive)
- Have Fun!!