The ringing of my phone jolted me out of my reverie as I sat at my desk staring blankly at the computer. I looked at the phone screen. It was Jess, one of my best friends.
“Hiya.” I tried to sound upbeat but it didn’t work.
“Hey guess what?” she chirped.
“What?” I asked feigning interest.
“Mike has asked me to move in with him!”
My first thought was, “And how’s that news?” But I knew better so I bit my tongue and said, “Oh wow really?”
“Yes really.” She drew out the ‘really’ and I could tell she was truly excited.
Jess and Mike got engaged a few weeks ago and Jess has been the happiest girl since then. They had dated for five years and when Mike finally proposed most of us were not surprised, but Jess being a good sport still managed to feign the mother of all surprised looks by nearly passing out when she saw the ring.
Just out of the corner of my eye, I could see my boss coming towards me so I had to tell Jess we would talk more over lunch. As soon my watch hit 1 o’clock, I grabbed my bag and dashed out of the office. I half-walked and half-ran to our favourite Aroma cafe which was just a few blocks away. Jess was already there.
“Hey!” she yelled in her usual cheery voice as she waved me over to where she sat.
We hugged as we exchanged pleasantries. Jess knowing me so well had ordered for me. Our food arrived and before I could get a fork of salad into my mouth, Jess blurted, “Should I do it?”
“Move in with Mike?”
“Hmmm, good question?” I chewed thoughtfully on my food trying to buy time wondering what answer I was supposed to give. “Well, do you want to?” I asked.
“I do. I really do!” she nodded eagerly .
“Well, I guess you’ve answered your own question then.”
“But what do you think? What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
“Honestly? I wouldn’t even think about it. I’ll just do it!”
At first, she thought I was serious until she saw the look on my face and we both burst out laughing. “But seriously, I continued, “think about it carefully before giving him an answer. For me, moving in with my boyfriend or fiancé is a big no–no with my folks so I won’t really have a say in the matter.”
“Yeah I know. But I’ve really thought about it and I think I’d give it a go. I know my parents wouldn’t mind.” Jess’s parents never minded anything. In their books, you are the captain of your own ship and you choose which direction you wish to sail.
“But do you think that’s a good idea? Considering you guys are going to get married and live together for the rest of your lives anyway. Don’t you want to enjoy having your own space before then?”
“Exactly! That‘s why I want to move in with him so I have a picture of what I’ll be dealing with when we get married. Besides, my space is getting rather boring.” She giggled.
I could see where she was coming from. I once had a boyfriend who practically begged me to move in with him, but I refused even though we spent more time at each other’s flat than we did in our individual flats. He thought it was practical and more economical. His reasoning was why should we pay two rents when we can pay one jointly? Why come and leave when you can always be the first person I see in the morning and the last person I see at night? But I couldn’t for a number of reasons. One, what if the relationship didn’t work out? Secondly, what if he never got around to proposing because he had gotten so comfortable with our arrangement that he felt marriage would ruin it. Also, I’m a quite a traditional girl at heart and I believe some things should be done the right way and at the right time. Needless to say that relationship didn’t work out. Even though I know other factors led to the break-up, I still feel the moving in together was a deal breaker for my ex. Or maybe, it simply wasn’t meant to be.
So, single ladies what do you say, would you move in with him or not? And for the married ladies, do you sometimes wish you lived together before marriage?
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