Memoirs of a Fashionista: My Heels & I

I am done. Really, I mean it this time for good. My days as the shoe diva are officially over. It was all fine when the Visa Card bore the brunt of it but now the pain is actually taking its toll on me. I can’t anymore, I just can’t.

In the hey days, when I set out to buy what would be my first pair of heels, the fashion world was mine, mine for the taking… or so I thought. I was raised around all the glam and sophistication of fashion. You see, rather than exploit her single parent status with promiscuity or alcoholism, my mother indulged in a somewhat different form of substance abuse: fashion shopping. It’s a surprise that we didn’t get bankrupt. She shopped so much we could have run a boutique. Needless to say I was flipping through the high end pages of Vogue way before I wore braces. So little wonder I grew up with an obsession for shoes, which is the irony of the gist. As early as age 14, I was already causing a stir with my skyscraper tall shoes, a figure of envy among peers. Men drool at the sight of my long legs and accentuated bum all thanks to my stilettos. I enjoy and crave the attention, even though I have to exhaust my life savings.

To garner better attention, I make it a point of duty to add drama into the mix. I flip my bangs, which usually covers my face, in a conscious-effortless way each time I catch a whiff of drooling testosterone and that always did it. The men love me, girlfriends don’t. Men claim I intimidate them with my height; African men and their shallow, Neanderthal way of thinking. Who needs a man when I have my shoes? I know my shoes can’t warm me up on cold nights; a certain battery powered toy does the trick every now and then thank you very much.

But oh the sacrifices I have to make *sigh* Nobody has a clue how much I pay at the weekend spa for regular feet massages or any idea how many sleepless nights I have as a result of a hurting ankle.

I am a fashion diva and no price is too high to pay.

Fashion is a huge pain. A high profiled job, single status, socialite friends and 100 pairs of shoes later, I know this for a fact. In order to look the part, I continue to put up the facade that I’m a fashionista, therefore I spend a lot on shoes, so that I come off top notch when I show up at work and get photographed in my red-soled stilettos at red carpet events that I can care less about, never mind the excruciating pain I put up with in these sky high heels.

Just the other day, I cramped so bad at the shin donning a pair of Aldo heels and I could have sworn I was passing gas intermittently but people were complimenting my look so much I continued to force a smile. I left the shoes on ignoring the fact that the entire nerve system in my legs was screaming for help. Though I have been wearing heels for the past 15 years, the doctor says I present symptoms of foot arthritis and any further strain portends grave consequences; meanwhile I haven’t even hit middle age. How am I to survive now without my heels? How? The thought of me in ballet flats and flip flops is simply unimaginable!

With an exotic total of 302 pairs of shoes— Louboutins, Aldos, Ferragamos, Manolos, Choos among a host of faux, I sit here with my bandaged feet, staring longingly with mixed feeling at my collections. I can’t wear them neither do I intend to give them out.  My boyfriend wants me to donate them to charity and seek help. How dare he blaspheme against my shoes and insinuate I’m an addict? Apparently, he doesn’t know that one pair of my Louboutins can pay his peanut of a salary. Anyway I have changed the locks; I hope he catches a hint when next he comes visiting his ex-girlfriend.  I guess it’s back to flip flops after all.

I’m gonna pretend to rock it.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

70 Comments on Memoirs of a Fashionista: My Heels & I
  • Abi Abidekun June 7, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Gal after my own heart, i refuse to give up even though the pain is so excrutiating. I am sooo glad i’m not alone. Will grin and bear it……

  • Merciful June 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    We lovers of high heels, dis is our story we feel d pain but we keep on smiling, sme night after walikng on highest heel my feet, ankles n toes hurt! Kai I have learnt to balnce it wit flats too , cos I dnt wanna end up like u babe! Sorry sha!
    Lastly wat size do u wear* devilish grin on***

  • cathy June 7, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    hahahahahahahaha babes want hear that one? sorry oh

  • Oma June 7, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Hahaha…. Anyone who attempts to wean me off my heels now is a joker o. I can rock dem flats, but pls I need my heels. Those are comfort gifts in times of heartbreaks and all the drama in d world. I go to my happy place and just smile because of my collection of babies.

    • Neema June 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      Oma i congratulate you….My mom makes me feel so guilty but every day that passes by, i realize i dont have a problem…..So lets keep rocking em….More worse, i live in a country where i have access to almost any pair of shoes that i like….

  • Zee June 7, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    looooool. Commitment to fashion.

  • Beediva June 7, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    despite d fact that i’m tall(5’8) i can’t do without my heels…i love ’em…i always av dis confidence in me whenevr im on heels. dough my boo doesnt like it but he gat no choice.*wink*

  • Neema June 7, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    This is so so me…i have shoes and i can never get enough of them…ALDO is my favorite…i think i am almost reaching 3o0 pairs–..The higher the better. My goal is 1000 shoes–Secondly, i plan to build a closet that looks like Aldo(Esp the Aldo Store In Miami) and put in all my shoes so when i wake up every morning, i can see all of them and smile.
    My mom freaks out but all my life, i have waited to buy myself everything that i deserve….As long as i don’t get into debt trouble and can afford the shoes–Why not?i save every month and i never go back on my savings…….
    In a nut shell–i love shoes and as Oma says, they are the only comfort gifts in times of heartbreaks and all the drama in the world—Our happy place..

  • Gimmer June 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    fun read and soooo true! my boyfriend saw the price tag on one of my shoe boxes and literally gasped! “this is my car note + cable bill in one month” ahhahahha

  • Renny Vonne June 7, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Is this a real story? I like this article, because in a way it can be interpreted to portray a woman who is so obsessed with her material things that she is willing to sacrifice friends and dating. It is a good interpretation of how our materialistic obsessions can leave us in pain and alone! Nice job!

  • T.S. June 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Heels are powerful, they add confidence to the woman wearing them. I love my heels but I choose to only wear them to places that I can sit down after a short period of time. I’ve learned to always have a pair of flats nearby so after a while if I feel uncomfortable, I can slip into my flats. People barely notice anyway.

  • HRS June 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    Totally defines the regular fashionistas like us!!!!!!! After wearing a sexy glittery silver -extremely -high heels as my friend’s bridesmaid, I moped my ankle with hot water and rubbed it for weeks! All for looking fab for a day!!!! I have shoes I’m not comfortable in but I refuse to get rid of them, instead I buy more!!!! But now, I’ve curbed that habit and I purchase reasonable shoes….

  • chinco June 7, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    I’m d exact opposite, I believe fashion should be simple and classy which usually involves an easy going look. Anyway TMI @ bat3 operated toy that ‘does d job’, lol

  • Uloma June 7, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    almost funny…i wish it had been better written. BN you are slacking!

  • Larahbee June 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    I’m so in love with ma heels and can’t get enough either. Anyman that wants me just have to accept that part of me*wink*

  • partyrider June 7, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Sneakers All day time to stress myself abeg.
    I am most comfortable in them,and i rock them WELL.from nike to espirit to puma , nike being my favorite 😀

  • faith June 7, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    I av J̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊t̲̥̅̊ 1(one) very high heels shoe n climbed it J̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊t̲̥̅̊ once τ̅☺ ♍γ̲̣̣̥ bestfriend’s wedding…couldn’t wear it for up to 10mins bcos of d pains…♍γ̲̣̣̥ hrt still flips weneva I think of wearing it.

    • neon June 8, 2012 at 12:17 am

      you climbed it??? *cries hot tears* the world is coming to an end!

      • notaplayerhater June 8, 2012 at 3:35 pm

        lolol…..ur a riot!!!!

      • Aku June 8, 2012 at 10:37 pm

        lmaoooooooooo *rolllingggggggggggg in the deep*

  • Ewurafua June 7, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    Why does anyone who owns Louboutins, Ferragamos, Manolos and Choos have a host of faux??? Why buy the ‘real’ in some labels/ brands, and the fake in others??
    It doesn’t make sense!! At all!!

    • DuChess O June 8, 2012 at 2:47 pm

      Umm, it’s called “not being a label snob.” The fact that you own brand name shoes doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in the regular labels aka aldo… even celebs wear “not so expensive brands” all the time… pleazze, how many times have we seen Angela and Vanessa Simmons rocking Steve Madden shoes and dresses from Virgos Lounge?!?

      • Ewurafua June 8, 2012 at 9:01 pm

        Did you read my comment?? Judging from your response, you clearly did not!! I never made a remark about her owning what are deemed “high street” brands; I made a moment about her owning FAKE designer shoes. The lady that wrote the article stated that she owned several pairs of designer shoes with a host of faux (aka fakes). I just didn’t, and still don’t, understand why someone would buy eg. real Louboutins, but fake Pradas/ Guccis etc.

    • miny June 21, 2012 at 2:54 pm

      when she was talking about faux, she didn’t necessarily mean “fake prada or gucci” or anyother designer, most shoes from cheaper brands e.g Aldo are imitations and sometimes cuter imitations of designer shoes, so it’s like any shoe she likes she gets irrespective of th price…Also, it’s possible that when she started her heel collection, she didn’t have enough money yet to buy the designers

  • Lammie June 7, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    lol.. Great write up!!!What we ladies go through just in the name of fashion.. PAIN!!!Sorry about your bandaged feet.. I hope you get better…and balance the heels with the flats.. and if you want to donate them…. just state the location…

  • lilly June 7, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    My dear i don’t blame you at all. i love my heels it makes me feel sexier and gives me more confidence. But i wear them only for an occasion or dress up party. Any other thing is flats including work cos if i fall i’m on my own…hehe
    P.S. lemme know when and where you are donating urs…lol

  • Sandi June 8, 2012 at 2:25 am

    Oh dear, I love my heels, but not enough to get a medical condition. So yes, I offset with flats. But I do wear heels a lot because to me they’re more comfortable in the long run. I’m flat footed so wearing flats all the time, gives me back pain. Heels remedy this. I just make sure that when I choose heels, I go for style definitely but comfort is important to me, can’t give up back pain for another kind of pain. But as any woman who loves heels know, it is almost impossible to avoid any kind of heels pain. Luckily for me, I can strutt in any pair of heels. While in business school, we had a dress code and for women this included heels, even if we had on a pair of jeans on Friday it was paired with heels, and we wore this all day during classes, lunch, study, and then to parties at night. Perfect practice.

    Darling hope you do get better, please listen to the doctor, your health comes first. Trust me you want to be able to walk in old age. Smooches!!!

  • minilavander June 8, 2012 at 2:36 am

    I agree with u chinco……..

  • L.A Chick June 8, 2012 at 2:42 am

    I thoroughly enjoyed your prose sweetie and I am with you 100%!
    Before working at my present job (where thank God I sit at a desk) I used to work as a VIP hostess for an airline… My colleagues used to asked me how I survived on my high heels 8 hours a day and sometimes more, when we had flight delays… I always answered “Hun, I was born on high heels” and truth be said, I love my heels!!!
    They are my super hero because they bring justice back in this world; they compensate my 5’4 inches by adding the 6 inches (I believe) were unjustly taken away from me…
    They are my best friends because they flatter my ego; they tell me that I am the super model on the runaway, fierce, graceful and untouchable…
    They are my children because like a good mother, every month, I starve myself to buy new pairs so that they won’t feel lonely…
    I pray the Almighty Lord for you and in Jesus name, may your feet be healed so that you can come back to your rightful position as Great Mistress of the Sisterhood of the High Heels Lovers lollllllllll! XOXO

  • K June 8, 2012 at 3:18 am

    @ewurafua my sentiments exactly……

  • The minority June 8, 2012 at 5:20 am

    lol more power to women who can wear heels every day. I can’t.. and I don’t want to. I might wear them to weddings/special events but that is it. In fact i am waiting for those black wide width orthopedic shos to come into style. Then I will be in heaven. lol. But seriously, I’ve had surgery to remove corns on 7 of my toes. And wearing heals brought them back again…..

    No type of fashion is worth having feet that you have to hide. Mba. No more.

  • The minority June 8, 2012 at 5:21 am

    oh gosh… typos galore. I meant orthopedic shoes, and wearing heels.

  • Anon June 8, 2012 at 6:16 am

    If i wasnt living in the US, I would have exclaimed at hearing someone owing over a 100 pairs of shoes but sadly living here has opened a part of me which i never knew existed…my love for shoes! Some weeks I buy at least 3-4 pairs. I own a lot of flats…I wear them mostly to work. I buy from everywhere…the random store across the street, ALDO, ZARA, HM, NINE WEST, DSW (I love DSW…), Goodwill everywhere. Its becoming a weakness…some sort of addiction and Im happy about this post cuz it shows i’m not alone. Hehe! @Ewurafua, i don’t see anything wrong in owning a host of faux…you cant be wearing loubs and co all the time now. i think it is even wisdom to mix and match..hehe

    • Sandi June 15, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      Good God bless the owner of DSW!!!!
      I get this tingle up my spine when I walk into DSW.
      It’s like I have arrived in shoe heaven.

  • Hadassah June 8, 2012 at 9:30 am

    heheheh.n lovely write-up…i can totally identify with you and hilarious comments.
    I’m feeling a bit poorly today (with a flu) and i’m wearing just 3 inches cos im not up to any additional pain from my feet….and i feel depressed cos those are my ‘pumps’

    All the best sistah. Health first…i’m a UK 6 …(incase God touches your heart *wink*)

  • Mashughuli blog June 8, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Tanzanian wedding & our culture to celebrate the wedding

  • Bee June 8, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    LOOOL! Amusing post! I’m 5’8…I LOVEEE SHOES but hate wearing them! When I go out, i always have a pair of flats or sandals in my purse or car. I can’t endure pain..especially since my feet arent even small at all! lai lai oh! Flats and Sandals aren’t bad my dear! It’s all in the way you rock it!

  • ihuoma ken ohiorenoya June 8, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    This is an eye opener! never new that some ladies are (for lack of better description) high heel junkies! If this is a religion,I am so a backslider.But I need to repent O.I am inspired and almost converted by an image of 300 cool high heels that are all mine!Whao!

  • onut June 9, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    The girl who wants to have a 1000 pair of shoes, that sounds so scary…. you don’t have shoes, shoes have you, on a very tight grip.

  • SO OVERRATED… June 9, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Shoes are overrated! My mum got me into d habit of wearing heels too, and frankly i love dem n have a nice collection if i do say so myself…. but please all dese sorts of stories just scream desperate to me… what’s missing in ur life dat u need so many shoes to soak urself up in, to d extent of causing urself pain…there’s nothing less sexy or elegant dan a woman limping around in heels cos of d pain… there’s a fine line between love n stupidity… if u love heels find types dat work best for ur feet n will not put u in push chairs b4 ur time! as with EVERYTHING else in life, moderation is KEY! If u own over 300 pairs of shoes i’m sure its cos u’ve refused to throw away d ones u started wearing 10 yrs ago which must b almost dead, abi u’re waiting for it to enter vintage ni?…life is not dat hard, let it go!

  • babe June 10, 2012 at 4:00 am

    kindred spirits……………. Rightly said mon ami

  • barbie June 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    i like my heels because they seem to straighten out my legs… am i right or have i been deceiving myself all these years?

  • chibugo June 10, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    ewww! such pain. for what? a few ” u look good”s. i’m not against them heels, but, for crying out loud, too much of everything is bad. are you even thinking of what your old age will look like? mtchewww!

  • essy June 10, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    You are not alone sis, i luv luv matter how much weight i lose or gain my shoe size always remains the comfort during depressing times *sighs* cant imagine a world without my heels.

  • Sisi London June 10, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    give us another update on the condition of your legs in another 20 years

  • Teefah June 11, 2012 at 2:00 am

    Shout to all the chickas rocking their 6 inch heels but still have their back up flats/flip flops in their purse/bag!

  • Amber June 11, 2012 at 4:18 am

    Well well…still hv a long way to go….but I fear my legs hurting o,so I love my comfortable shoes…and @faith…lol…..u don’t climb heels o,u can only climb hills

  • Teris June 11, 2012 at 8:46 am

    shit!! i feel so.. duped!
    so heelz are supposed to hurt?!! wth!
    i’m sneakers-slippers gal but i decided it was time for an upgrade and after three weeks of heels (nice solid shoes – in colours no less) i had a relapse and am in recovery as we speak. so i’m thinking “there’s something wrong with these shoes” Diesel? Clarks? i thot nice solid brands like these shud have got the technology right, right? rats!

  • LPS June 11, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    interesting. How come I missed this post? 🙁

  • loi June 11, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    see how sky high heels affect your health @

  • Ekom June 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    u can do a yard sale nd just inform us of the time n venue

  • OmogeNaija June 12, 2012 at 11:07 am

    I have less than ten pairs of footwears, shoes, sandals and outing slippers inclusive, 7 of them are black, I love heels, it gives a lady gait, however, as fine a they make me look, I always have a pair of flats handy. If I’m wearing it on a work day, I wear flats to and back from work, even when I’m seated at my desk, I remove my feet from my shoes. Staying in it for too long hurts and causes permanent damage.

  • Angie June 12, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Thanks to all the sensible contributors. As much as I love heels, I wont become a slave to fashion. I love Onut’s comments, at this rate some of you don’t own the shoes, the shoes own you. I started out wearing heals quite early too and now I am in my early 40s and have what the doctors call “Planta Fasciitis” (check online/google it) which says I have torn or worn out some of the tendons in my feet. You get out of bed in the morning with such excrutiating pain in your feet that you limp about for a couple of minutes. Then throughout the day you have serious pains and sometimes spasms in your feet. The cure, medium (court shoes) heels to flat sole shoes and some exercises. I was never addicted to heels but I believe they give a woman the gait, poise and elegance needed to carry any outfit and so, sometimes a necessity. I decided to respect myself and the spirit of self preservation in me tells me I still need these legs by the grace of God for at least another 40 years and so I now do medium heel shoes daily to work and slippers and sandals in between. The heels? Once in a long while and the pain of Planta Fasciitis? Now manageable but not gone…

  • Sweet Mama Africa June 13, 2012 at 6:08 am

    Ladies I need a lesson on how to walk in heels oo sha. My leg is crooked with a bowleg.
    Just imagine those legs in hills, awful and painful sight.
    I embarrass myself everytime. I want to wear them but I come home barefoot whenever I have heels on

  • lola June 13, 2012 at 10:31 am

    @angie awwww you poor darlyn, @ d clim on heels phrase, i can totally relate to that, i remember one time when i had on an impossible high platform heel that was in the early 2000s and i was in my late teens my mum told me ” just jump down from those heels and come help with some chores” since then my sister and i have always referred to wearing heels as climbing hills, well am a sensible young lad, sometimes i think too sensible for my own good. I have the art of wearing lovely shoes without pain down to a pat! i have quiet a no of ballet flats but they are mostly pointies, elongating my short legs and giving the illusion of wearing heels, very ultra feminine i tell you, the next level are the one inch two inch wedges, they give you the illusion of heels but are as comfortable as flats , then i do a lot of kitten heels, then my 3inch heels, of cos i have the 6 inch heels but i wear them on special occasions and to church, when i see a pair of six inch must haves that i don’t need i stare at them longingly try to tell myself reasons y i don’t need it and then i walk into d store look at it some more and then take a walk. PS please don’t mind my epistle i get this way some times but the real me is an introvert!

  • lola June 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

    pardon my typo error, i meant young lady not lad, “hitting my fore head” what was i thinking

  • Bea June 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

    I find most of the things in this article interesting. Though I can’t help but feel some of it are not so true to life. I love heels, can hardly even walk long hours in flats! However, I also wear very practical shoes, e.g I don’t wear heels over a 3.75inches high unless they are platforms. I believe shoes as well as every other fashion item should things we are comfortable wearing. Can nobody hide excruciating pain! Our individual awesomeness should be highlighted with fashion not clowned. So ladies, ditch heels fast soon as you realize you’re no longer comfortable with them. You should own them and rock them not the other way round! And don’t buy overtly tilting heels just because you saw them on Kim or Bey or any other fashionista you know. Keep comfort in mind, realize your body can rebel some day. Try eat your cake and have it.

  • geenarh hally June 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    gals love shoes anytime so not excluded,my bro always threatens to start selling my shoes n its jus neva enuf but still like bea said wear em n b comfortable btw*IM A SIZE 38,i can help u wear em nw ur in bandages*LOL

  • TobechiD June 15, 2012 at 2:05 am

    Haha. Lovers of heels.

  • Bubbles June 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    I love heels. I mean given my petite 5’2 frame i definitely need ’em. and even the up coming rent bill didnt deter me from a bundle of purple suede ones smiling at me. Need i say? They were homeless and i felt charitable!!lol

  • Pleasure Chest June 18, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    You are not alone babe,me and so many girls i know.When i am pissed off,i go into a shoe shop and buy me some heels and trust me i feel better.Shoe therapy i guess.I am not gonna give up because there is this beautiful feeling that comes when i am wearing high heels,i feel on top of the world,i feel like i am all that.The pain come later but hey i think about the compliments i got during the day and i am fine.If you by any chance,wear uk4,us6.5 or eur 37 holla at me*wink*Lol

  • Redcarpetgoat June 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    women and pain are inseparable. some pains are natural others are pleasurable. heartbreaks makes some women stronger. am not surprise that ladies give out their toes 4 fashion. other pain accessories are bras, body-magic, fake eyelashes, weave-on, fake nails, girdle….the list is just endless.

  • ashi June 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    there’s this love hate thing with shoes, we love them so much and how nice they look especially if they are bad! but when wearing some of them it feels like war of the worlds10 lol

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