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The Married Woman’s Guide To Eliminating Pesky Single Girls from Le Hubs’ Radar

Atoke

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Have you noticed how several married women fall over themselves trying to protect their husbands from us thieving, single, husband snatchers? With everything I’ve heard in the past week, I’m convinced that the single woman is completely without any sense of responsibility and as such, all she desires to do is to party. As a result of her being completely unhinged to any kind of masculine presence, she is a free agent whose sole life ambition is to snag any available married man irrespective of whether he’s got anything for himself… oh no! All that matters is that he belongs to someone else and that in itself makes him the catch of ALL catches.

I mean, this can be the only justification for statements like this:

Single girls are always out for married men. They like the idea of a man who is well settled. They like to reap where they didn’t sow

I’ve heard this so often that after my initial indignation, I began to attempt to analyze how some women may have come to this conclusion. I tried to rationalize the idea that a husband is a “fertile soil” where one has sowed and the marriage is in fact the harvesting period.

In my attempt to think it through, my thoughts went to the stages of the attainment of this status of “The Married Woman.” First, you have dated this guy for almost 2 years (give or take). You have been nice to him, forgiven some of his bad behavior, tolerated his irritating second cousin who lives with him and you have bought his baby brother a nice leather wallet for Christmas.

Then, he proposed. You were overjoyed; heaved a sigh of relief and took a picture of your ring sitting on a perfectly (or not so perfectly) manicured finger and excitedly sent to your friends. Every one is congratulating you. You have hit the mother lode with this one. So you work hard, hope and pray that the wedding day comes without incident.

You’ve worked so hard to clinch this very elusive rank of “Mrs”. You beat a long line of girls who were vying for your man’s attention and then, like a ray of hope at the end of a dark tunnel of Spinsterhood, you finally get married. Indeed, I can understand why you’d think any one would want to oust you from your coveted position. If this is your story, then I’d like to give you a gift.

The Married Woman’s Guide To Keeping Pesky Single Girls From Your Man

1. On that day when you were joined with your man; you were told that the two had become one. It is important that you don’t take this instruction lightly.Remember that your life is completely and inextricably tied to your husband’s and so you must immerse yourself in his life and work. It is important that you constantly call him, I’d suggest every hour. It doesn’t matter that he may be in a meeting. Remember those secretaries and girls in his office need to be reminded that he is married.

2. Seeing as your lives are inextricably tied together, (you have a marriage certificate to establish this crucial point) you must never.. and I mean NEVER,  let Le Hubs go to a club or a social event without you. Remember, it is folly to cast your bread before the swine! Watch him like a hawk! You must be constantly draped  across his arm and shoulder, slightly touching him in that way that is akin to a little mutt peeing around a tree. It is important to set boundaries. Single girls need to be shown that this one is off the market.

3. Le Hubs may be the generous, kind, compassionate guy who likes to help ferry work mates in his car. Make sure that the girls he gives a ride to and from work are in active relationships or they are married. Remember that relationships find a way of restraining those pesky girls from poaching. There is a template form for assessment of potential people who would like to ride with him. Make sure that all prospective single girls are not smart or chatty – you don’t want him getting any kind of intellectual stimulation from someone else. Then, ensure that they look as bland as bland comes. This is essential to your task.

4. It is the age of social media and like everything that is a blessing and a curse, you must ensure you work hard to maximize the blessing part of it. Ensure that your picture is up as his display picture and profile picture. Or make sure he uses one of you as a perfect smiling happy unit of perfection. You might think that this is just tempting the pesky single girl into seeing your beautiful home as a target, no, it is not. It is a warning sign that “if the chips ever come down, he’ll never leave this for you”.

5. Still on the issue of social media – if he’s on Twitter…make sure you are following, right behind him.  Constantly observe the RTs and the LOLs. If you find that a particular handle keeps cheesing at his tweets, fear not. You can follow her too and retweet stuff, emphasizing that he is Husband of  Thee. When the LOLs get uncomfortable  you might be tempted to go-a-snooping but no… don’t do that. That’s just debasing. You’re after all extremely confident in yourself and your status as the “Uwar Gida”.  Play it cool. However, if you find that the red flags keep popping up, just delete the app! What does he need social networking for anyway?

6. Pesky single girls like dapper guys. You worked so hard to get this one and you need those girls to back away from your prize. It is quite simple, when he is not with you, encourage him to wear the shabbiest of his clothes. Why does he need to look good to go play Squash in Ikoyi Club? Remember that pair of leather slippers, hanging on its last thread in the closet? Yep, that one! Have him wear those for his evening drive to buy Glover Court suya. Why does he need to look good and fresh?

7.Rings! The rings which symbolize your status as an esteemed member of the MRS club. Those things can be very effective. Unfortunately they can get stolen or even worse, fall off. Do not fear that Le Hubs will go about without his Bond Band! Get matching tattoos on your fingers. Indelible marks of possession which establish your status without question.

8. Buy a blood pressure monitor. It is important that you constantly check your blood pressure. Remember, nothing good comes easy. You have to work yourself up to a hissy fit to keep your marriage. Just make sure your blood pressure is at the doctor’s approved level and all will be well.

Have a fabulous week ahead. Remember that you have JUST one life to live so LIVE and be happy. Live strong, live free, live well.

Photo Credit: blackloveandmarriage.com

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

178 Comments

  1. Jumzy

    April 2, 2013 at 9:13 am

    lollll

    • A.D

      April 5, 2013 at 11:29 am

      Ahhhhh, you ain’t seen anything yet. This is to anyone just reading this, I know this post might have been….maybe a tad bit too long for you, buh Biko, pls, si-vous plais (I hope I got that right), abeg, scroll down for the comments, you will thank me later

      I hope this isn’t against any rules BN, just had to do this, some serious something going on, looooool

  2. TPepper

    April 2, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Hahahahahaha. We sure do need a blood pressure monitor to keep up with all of these! Nice one Atoke.

  3. Let it flow...

    April 2, 2013 at 9:17 am

    Ignoramus.

    • gem ma

      April 2, 2013 at 10:40 am

      odenigbo!loool

    • ACDC

      April 2, 2013 at 9:11 pm

      TWAT!

  4. Style Cravings

    April 2, 2013 at 9:19 am

    hahaha! Very whimsical approach I must add to make light of how married women deal with their insecurities.
    http://uberchicmichi.com

  5. divea

    April 2, 2013 at 9:25 am

    pesky indeed

  6. amah

    April 2, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Hhahaahahahah….see me laughing like a deranged woman in the office. This is soo hilarious. Don’t mind some of those yeye married women out there who think the life ambition of all single girls is to snatch their husbands, even the smelliest and poorest of the lot, as if single guys don finish for this life.

    • AMA

      April 5, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      LOOL UNFORTUNATELY URE MY NAMESAKE ..NOT ALL SINGLE GIRLS, BUT MOST OF THEM! ALOT OF THEM ACTUALLY..JUST VERY FEW SINGLE LADIES HAVE FOUND THEIR ULTIMATE REASON FOR EXISTENCE.. AND THE OTHERS, BLEH……..GET MARRIED AND SEE IF U’D NOT BE GUARDING UR HUBBY LIKE A HAWK.

    • slice

      April 5, 2013 at 4:12 pm

      OMG so your reason for existing is your family. No wonder some women want to kill themselves when a man leaves them. Find your reason for existing in God

  7. Ozed

    April 2, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Couldn’t stop laughing at the subtle sarcasm. Nice one!

  8. Somebody

    April 2, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Abeg what’s all this silly single girl vs married girl ish u guys have been playing at? It’s getting old and boring to be honest. Painting married women like some insecure bunch whose lives revolve around their husbands and whose sole achievement was getting married and painting single women like unfortunate sad women with no morals is really beginning to irk the hell out of me! Women…..we r really our worst enemies. Petty silliness

    • Neo

      April 2, 2013 at 11:13 am

      You need to laugh more often, its very liberating. Go ahead and try it, while u’re at it loosen the knots in ur panties. U’re welcome!

    • Naveah

      April 2, 2013 at 2:44 pm

      Abeg, take advise number 8 and get a blood pressure monitor. I think the author was being satirical, I don’t think think the write up was meant to be taken serious so relax, relate, release it all to the universe.

    • Teni

      April 2, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      Indeed, advise number 8 is good for you… take a chill pill and find the humor in the write up. This life na jeje

  9. ditto

    April 2, 2013 at 9:31 am

    this is too funny!! esp the bit about giving him tatters to wear and then heart monitor! lmao! But really life should not be this harddd. ki lode!

  10. Will

    April 2, 2013 at 9:31 am

    STALKER 101. A paranoid married woman’s guide on how to scrutinize your husband

  11. Andrea

    April 2, 2013 at 9:35 am

    lol…This totally cracked me up…Nice write up..Don’t agree much on the shabby clothing tho..God forbid my man goes out looking shabby..even if its to get the papers..He would think I am high if i even suggest he wears something shabby to a club..lol
    On all other things….its bumper to bumper Oooo..no dulling..
    I make a pretty handbag too*BBM LASHES* so he doesn’t mind @all

  12. Single Diva

    April 2, 2013 at 9:36 am

    OK…..Atoke darling, i usually enjoyyyyyy your articles but today..uhm girl, it seems like you’re the one in need of a blood pressure monitor.Lol…. As witty as the article was, the disdain and resentment was evident. To each, his or her own though. There are married women out there and people, in general, who think along the above stated lines but there are also those who do not. Not all single ladies are out to snag a “dishy married man” and we all know this….. 99% of us are looking for dapper single fellas *big smile*. I understand your frustration over the matter but i would have loved the article if you had given the married ladies some good old sarcasm free advice. We all plan to get married someday (at least most single girls i know, do) and i guess when we do, we’ll kinda (and thats a big KINDA) understand how they feel. My point is, I sincerely feel the individuals who think along this line, need therapy, not sarcasm……My 5kobo *patiently waiting to be attacked by the voltrons*

    • Lilian

      April 2, 2013 at 10:03 am

      Thank God i’m not the only one who feels this way. I found it very harsh, to say the least.

    • Let it flow...

      April 2, 2013 at 12:52 pm

      @ Single Diva – Thank you pls rewrite the article and do justice to it. Atoke is the one who is feeling desperate and somewhat resentful towards the married women. May I add a bit of jealousy going on there… She would probably do all these and more when she finally obtain the M.R.S certificate. Good Luck Girl. May you find the ‘best’ of all men that will treat you like a queen and let’s hear back from you then. heeeeheeheee

    • Purpleicious Babe

      April 4, 2013 at 3:21 am

      To be fair… it did have an element of wittiness and strong sarcasm but I didn’t find it funny. I just felt it was unnecessary and uncalled for. I am sort of aware of the battle of the singles vs married, but I totally block stuffs like that out.. wetin concern me?

      I live in the part of the world where they are deeper issues to solve and life is quite hectic as it is. Sure some people engage in a bunch of nonsense but am sure some reasonable people do actually have a healthy mental state with a sense of maturity.

      My point: only certain people with a certain mental state and attitude do engage in certain activities. In a nutshell, each to their own……

      lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

    • Sugabelly

      April 2, 2013 at 11:08 am

      You can’t tell someone what to write. However if you don’t like it you have the option of not reading or commenting.

      And why is it that every time someone writes a long awaited article about some glaringly obvious social ill, people always come and claim thr person is frustrated or bitter?

      Married women in Nigeria DO treat single women like the enemy. In fact, everyone treats single women like shit. Women are not respected until they are attached to a man. And it stems from the ridiculous mentality of many married women that their husbands are not responsible for their own foolish behaviour.

    • Bee

      April 2, 2013 at 11:39 am

      Na wa o , I don’t think married women treat single women anyhow o. When I wasn’t married , my married friends were nice to me , I stayed over and we always had fun. Now I am married , I treat my single friends the way I have always treated them and we are all friends with my husband. If anything has change, I think its the way some of my single friends treat me like I have done something wrong. Also, I think I was well respected by most people based on my achievements before I got married ( though I got married at 25 ) and I don’t think anyone ever disrespected me or treated me less than I deserved because I was unmarried.
      Oh well

    • Sarah

      April 2, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      Actually Sugabelly she can criticise if she so wishes. Is that not the point of Atoke writing articles? To get divergent views? What’s the point of writing if she can’t be criticised. If I don’t like it, I will tell her how I feel. Seriously we need to let people speak their minds even when we don’t agree with it.

    • Anon+1

      April 2, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      I’m with you on the behaviors of society regarding marriage in Nigeria!
      But people should be allowed to give their opinion whether in support or not

    • SASSYCASSIE

      April 2, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      WORDS OF WISDOM!

    • Aminawon

      April 2, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      So true. Atoke, take a chill pill…

  13. Molade

    April 2, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Lol! When I read the title I thought it was going to be one self righteous BS written by one silly life ambition newlywed. Happy that it was so lighthearted and tongue in cheek.

  14. Ms lala

    April 2, 2013 at 9:38 am

    dang yo..this to do list will give a sister heartattack choiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!…but i feel the writers angle..especially married guys in lagos smh.

  15. Temizzy

    April 2, 2013 at 9:39 am

    hahahahaahahahaha sooo funny, I think is the recipee to die young in marriage. i wish you all luck as you do this *strolls out*

  16. Non professional opinion

    April 2, 2013 at 9:44 am

    Wow. The author sounds single and not very happy about it or why else would you dedicate time to this snide little piece. I don’t know many married women who have time for even the unexaggerated version of this.
    Is there a new agenda on Bella to draw battle lines between single and married women because this topic seems to be never ending.

    • ME

      April 2, 2013 at 9:57 am

      My thoughts exactly

    • Bunmi

      April 2, 2013 at 10:29 am

      We are already divided.

    • lady

      April 2, 2013 at 11:34 am

      pls shut up already……cold fishes like you always look for an opportunity to dampen any mood…….she does not even have to be single to write a tongue -in-cheek article……gosh, must your likes always link a writers article to their private lives/ haven’t u heard of the word fiction?….cant speak for atoke but can jolly well say she is not frustrated so your comment here is just so super duper annoying….

    • sylvy

      April 2, 2013 at 12:56 pm

      Gosh haven’t you heard of the word fiction…must u relate every article written to the writers private life….my honest advice is that you get a life, and quick.

    • taiwo akin

      April 4, 2013 at 1:28 am

      calm down…sarcasm is all over the article sef

  17. omolola

    April 2, 2013 at 9:57 am

    LMAO…wahala dey…Atoke, I loooveeeee you to bits

  18. whocares

    April 2, 2013 at 9:59 am

    loool. this is probably my favourite article so far this year. lool.

  19. Hahahaha

    April 2, 2013 at 10:00 am

    #dead

    • karma

      April 16, 2013 at 11:21 am

      for some funny reason, ur comment sent me rolling on the floor above all others! dead indees lol

  20. Ngozi

    April 2, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Lol! Loved the sarcastic tone!!!! Lol

  21. Jenny

    April 2, 2013 at 10:03 am

    Exhausting guidelines Atoke. This is a passport to an early grave or a life of depression. Lol. I have been married for close to twelve years . More of the ups and less of the downs. A long distance relationship bc he works off shore. Imagine what could happen when he has to pass a night or two in Lagos bf he gets to Enugu where we leave*mouth aghast* hmm…na today??More to my advantage bc I have some precious alone time. My man loves me ‘babying him’. We love each other and that’s what matters. I feel most Nigerian women are insecure in marriage bc trust was non existent in their relatiotionship bf they got married. Men do change as they say but so do women. Over the years I have matured in marriage and so believe that if you don’t sincerely love each other don’t ever try to get married. Love conquers all is a FACT.

    • Bibi

      April 8, 2013 at 10:36 am

      Wish I could like the comment

  22. Thatgidigirl

    April 2, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Atoke i’m a big fan, but for the first time your article does not appeal to even my sense of humor. The topic has been over flogged just like the “oga at the top” joke, plus inbetween the intended humor i can sense a bit of resentment towards married women. A lot of married women are actually happy, and have husbands who love them to the moon and back. Stories of abuse and cheating husbands are true sometimes, but i just think alot of single girls use those tales to console themselves. Calm down and enjoy ur singlehood, turn by turn plc
    ps: I’m not married, but i don’t loathe married women

    • ladytobadgan

      April 2, 2013 at 11:37 am

      if it doesn’t appeal to you that is your cup of tea abeg…..second base jo

    • OH WELL

      April 3, 2013 at 8:02 am

      As in, your comment was TOTALLY IRRELEVANT!

    • SASSYCASSIE

      April 2, 2013 at 12:19 pm

      Please, preach it!

  23. Amazeballs!

    April 2, 2013 at 10:11 am

    yawn!

  24. NELLIEDIVA

    April 2, 2013 at 10:14 am

    This article killed me. The sarcasm. . . lol. Anyhoo, I think Lagos wives are learning to look d oda way when it comes to the cheating Le Hubs

  25. jay

    April 2, 2013 at 10:20 am

    this terrible list just cracked me up! lol

  26. PT

    April 2, 2013 at 10:27 am

    This was obviously a sarcastic post! loolz

  27. Tinkerbella

    April 2, 2013 at 10:29 am

    lol. even tho it is the husbands running after innocent young ladies, trying to blind them with gifts

  28. Amiphat

    April 2, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Really amusing article Atoke. Sadly there are crazies on both sides of the single v married divide. (Very obvious by some of the comments here). Let each woman work out her salvation (and the salvation of her emotional life- with husband or boyfriend) with fear and trembling.

    This drama will continue playing out till the world ends – people need to remember that.

    Peace.

  29. Autoprincess

    April 2, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Fool’s day must have stolen my sense of humour, ‘cos I don’t this witty at all. Atoke, I did not think you would be one of those “marriedwomenhating” gals.

  30. Mimz

    April 2, 2013 at 10:44 am

    A lot of you don’t get the joke, do you? Well let me spell it out she is being sarcastic. In a nutshell take chill pill. If he is gon’ cheat he will even if you get a cage for his you know what. Stop being bunny boilers and spend more of your energy being good to him and yourselves. End of!

    • bee

      April 2, 2013 at 11:42 am

      Yea I think.some didn’t get the joke

    • Tolu

      April 2, 2013 at 11:43 am

      My dear, a lot of them got the joke. The point is this single lady vs married lady topic is now stale gist and not that amusing any more. Doesn’t matter how Atoke tried to make it sound funny. This is now stale gist biko lets move on.

      I must say this one the first Article by Atoke that I just breezed thru and didn’t take time to read everything. I usually look forward to her articles. I was bored….

      It’s all good tho, looking forward to the next one. Lets just move on to interesting topics.

    • Ready

      April 2, 2013 at 2:57 pm

      +1. Love Atoke, but nah…sumn was off with this one. It’s okay though…can’t always be great.

  31. GTB and Me

    April 2, 2013 at 10:55 am

    Loved it!!!!! Atoke is just brilliant! To those of you who wrote the story of her destiny and therefore can tell she’s single (and unhappy) at this time, sanu!! Invest in some education, it will do you a world of good, and probably prevent your own husbands from running off with someone with an appreciation for satire and humor.

    GTB and Me: short story – http://wp.me/pW4qk-PT

    • Oma

      April 3, 2013 at 9:50 am

      Loooool

  32. hanny

    April 2, 2013 at 10:57 am

    This article should be titled; “A sure Fire Way to drive your Husband into the arms of a Single Lady” .Oh and by the way, carry yor man in your handbag always if you want,he’ll cheat if he feels the need to do so. Best plan is pray&hope for a respectable cheater,atleast he’ll be sensible enough to hide it from you,cos whether you like it or not,all men cheat,yeah including yours too!

    • Msunderstood

      April 3, 2013 at 3:48 am

      Nope, my man doesn’t cheat.

  33. pretty eyes

    April 2, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Hmmm in as much as I admire the sarcasm and wittiness of the article, I still cannot get beyond the Married woman vs Single woman undertone.

    Are there single girls who chase after married women? YES
    Are there married men who do the chasing? YES

    Why do we make the married women feel paranoid as if some of their insecurities are unfounded? Look around you babe, look around you and see how single girls flock after married men. That is not exempting the men from the blame as any man who wants to cheat will cheat regardless of if the babe chases him but common, several single girls do it.

    My deark when you eventually get married, you would understand how it feels when a single girl pings your hubby unnecessarily or acts irrationally.

    Is it not just few weeks ago that an actress was reported to have said that if its a married man that makes you happy, go for it?

    you’re still single sha so you can’t understand. Grow up and realize that some single girls are from hell.

    p.s The use of SOME and not ALL is evident in my comment. Also, some married women take things too far. Finally, the husbands are not exempted from any blame if they cheat.

    • Inosendanymanoh

      April 2, 2013 at 12:03 pm

      sisi pretty eyes how do the single men flock around married men biko? pls dont make me laff abeg, is it the dogs you call husbands? alot of them cant even keep their zippers down for one minute…..panting around town like dogs in heat and chasing every amaka, iyabo and ekaette in the neighborhood…..some ples house helps are not safe…..its a shame they have no regards for their wives cos society has drummed it into their stupid heads that its only the woman that must slave, sacrifice and shed her blood for a marriage to work……abeg no let me vex, any married man that comes my way and does not respect himself i will first chop all his money and milk him dry if he does not know he needs to take care of his family…Men think they are a big deal and its we women folk i dare say who give them that effontry….mmssheeeeeewww

    • Pink

      April 5, 2013 at 9:22 am

      seconded!!!!! most of these stupid married men, am even the one that pick out gifts for their wives when we go shoppin!. if they cant respect their marriages and keep chasing after me, i will keep chopping their money till thy kingdom comes.

    • Ada Nnewi

      April 9, 2013 at 10:24 am

      The number of married men i’ve had to insult in Lagos because they don’t respect themselves i can’t even count anymore…really women should hold their husbands more accountable for their bad behaivour and stop antagonizing single women that are not interested in “second hand goods” that won’t leave them alone.

    • SASSYCASSIE

      April 2, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      I am single but I actually agree with you .

  34. Lulu

    April 2, 2013 at 11:05 am

    There are no married women hating girls. It is just the height of arrogance and the sense of superiority to think that single girls hate married women. Oh, single girls must hate me, because I’m married and they are not, so they beef me. Like Seriously. LMAO. Is it a PhD, or are you heading the World Bank? Hate for what na. Egbami. Who are the single friends you have that hate you, or you are imagining the hate in your head, since you feel superior. Nigerian women and their penchant for drama. If there’s a battle line, two guesses who created the line or the barrier. Atoke, you should have added a caution to the husbands too. Women KEEP YOUR HUSBANDS IN CHECK. Abeg. They are the ones that are chasing single girls. Make no mistake. It is usually the other way around. I can’t count many nonsense propositions I’ve gotten. Some even with their wedding rings on, and I’m thinking, are you kidding me, I can see that you are clearly married. WTH!!!!. So, this article was meant to be taken with humour abeg. If it is pinching you, maybe Atoke hit a nerve, cos I can’t see why this article will offend you. Seeing yourself in print, sure can’t be pretty. Lol

  35. Adaeze

    April 2, 2013 at 11:06 am

    I love this! I totally love this! I haff laughed louder dan ever. Keep this up please! You are so right!

  36. Stella Kashmoney

    April 2, 2013 at 11:07 am

    Boring.

  37. Person

    April 2, 2013 at 11:23 am

    All the married women voltrons/crazies are out in full force. Yall should take a chill pill and calm your behinds down. *marriedwomenhating*- Kai. Single girls have suffered. So because one person has decided to poke fun at yall today, you are all out here acting crazy. mschew.
    Atoke, very nice article. I like your sense of humour. I’m sure you meant ‘cast your pearls before swine’ and not ‘cast your BREAD’? 🙂

  38. Dee

    April 2, 2013 at 11:25 am

    he he he, in fact they must just back their husbands and possibly go to work with him. Lmao, no wonder some married women look old and haggard i’m sure some have been going such.

  39. libra

    April 2, 2013 at 11:33 am

    your ideas sounds so childish…lol

  40. Desire

    April 2, 2013 at 11:41 am

    Atoke, This ur sarcasm is thick and peeps need to chill and not take this serious. No one in her right mind will try this.

  41. wifeydearest

    April 2, 2013 at 11:53 am

    lol……all you married women making funny comments ya all just take a chill pill…..am sure some of you are quilty of what Atoke has said in her article though was meant to be funny……cant wrap my head round how so called educated and civilised people cant even get a joke…..must we always conclude everything a writer says is from her personal experience.. true some married women are not paranoid about their husbands but most are and are unbelievably annoying. while we also agree not all single girls ambition is to chase a married man some single girls are just whores looking for which man to bleed dry.then the worst of the lot are some married men who cant keep their zippers on cos they have no self control …i have been married 8 years and yes sometimes i get on my hubby,s case when i suspect him but no way am i going to live my life watching his every move when i have my life to enjoy……we hang out together as often as we can but sometimes he has to roll with the boys the same way i have fun with the girls….i try my best and i expect him to do his part but seriously we all know a man will cheat if he wants to so no way am i gonna give myself an early cardiac trailing after him…..

  42. HRS

    April 2, 2013 at 11:58 am

    #Hypertensiondotcom!

  43. Lady in Luv

    April 2, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Hehehe Omg! Women r incredibly screwed up I swear.

    Single Women: why do you feel the need to remind married women that their husbands will cheat on them?? Does it make y’all sleep better at night or something? Every other day you hear single women sayin hmm thank God I’m single o, these married men are terrible people, or don’t mind those married women always feeling superior that’s why all of them are living in misery with their cheating useless husbands, poor married women, I’m single and every man wants me but I don’t have to put up with their rubbish! they are not so better than us at the end of the day are they now?

    YET! It is the same single women that refresh bellanaija every other day to look for new weddings to ooh and ahhh begging God to send them their own, you hear things like God do it for me o, bring me my own Prince Charming , Chei I want oo …..so I’m confused. really? U want? U want to be married to a cheating low life? U want to become the insecure married woman you used to laugh at?? u want to follow atokes rules? hehehehehe women oo, I swear atoke I love ur sarcasm but u really have to do an article on single women as well it is clearly not only married women that are crazy, ooh while u r at it plsss pretty pls do one on the men laughing at us lool

    • Miss Eloquent

      April 11, 2013 at 10:36 pm

      lol! 😀

  44. hermosa

    April 2, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Oh em Gee! Im laughing sooo hard! but on a real note i really do feel sorry for married women sometimes. I once met this guy on wechat and we got to talkin and after many weeks of chattin we decided to meet up, he brought his brother and brother’s gf along, the night ended ok and from here we kinda started hanging out almost every night… till i got a all from his wife tellin me to back off!! so i kinda see how married woman might need a monitor to keep them in check. its not easy being married to a nigerian guy!! they always want new blood. sad

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      April 2, 2013 at 5:00 pm

      Jizox!!! He brought his brother along on your date to corroborate his “I’m-single-and-interested-in-mingling” story? Lawd have mercy on his wife if even his family members are fully supporting her man’s cheating…

  45. Que

    April 2, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    hahahahahaaaa @ d blood pressure monitor.

    Everyone needs to relax, ur opinions will not be affected just cos u laughed out loud @ d fun in it. Obviously it’ll take more than all d write ups on this website combined to address the stereotypes of the married and singles in Nigeria, that’ll take a sovereign national conference… Good day!

  46. Slinky

    April 2, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    Lmao!!!!!!!!!!! really funny thanks for the tips

  47. Mz Thang

    April 2, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    I don’t see the humor in this. This article was unnecessary

  48. pynk

    April 2, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    lol @ folks not getting the joke.

  49. Priscy

    April 2, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    lmao….

  50. MAIN

    April 2, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    Recipe for divorce.

  51. jcsgrl

    April 2, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    Mcheew! First of all BN, I’m o need you all stop with the Le Hub, le boo, le whatever decriptions. Its getting stale abeg
    Second, another silly write up. Don’t see the sarcasm or fun in it. This single vs married drama just seems to be prevalent in nja. Who has time for this rubbish?

  52. candy

    April 2, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    I think Atoke got the reaction she wanted! Single ladies applauding, the guilty single ones applauding & talking down on the married ones; married ladies defending their marriage, the guilty married ladies justifying their acts by providing explanations, the other (bitter) married ones hitting back with covert insults. The men? Enjoying the show that is all about them!

    • omototun

      April 3, 2013 at 12:36 am

      like!!….and as for me a “single but have way too many personal issues to be worried about some philosophical argument” could only be entertained as well…..Shebi na person wey chop belleful go dey bothered by inconsequential issues such as this…If a ‘friend’ woman/man pisses you off for whatever reason, just cut them off…shey Yoruba people say “eni ta ri la n mo loju” translates “you can only give some you can see the stink eye” Shey its if you see me you’d can me attitude about your husband…..moving on!

    • Purpleicious Babe

      April 4, 2013 at 3:24 am

      @ candy, my sentiment exactly.
      Based on the comments, yep I agree it does come across as such.. lol.

      lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

  53. OmogeNaija

    April 2, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Okan ma pa ra e = you go just kee yourself, lol
    Dear married lady, get busy so that you’ll stop pursuing the imaginary single girls!

  54. ema

    April 2, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    sarcasm is obviously lost on some of u!y’all need to chill……atoke ur article is great and well recieved

  55. luvbogg

    April 2, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    The headmaster was once a school boy! No one was born married so maybe some married women know what they did as single gals…and all ye single gals are hoping to marry someday let’s hope ya’ll will have this same point of view when u r wives..hehehe. While the married women are keeping their husbands in check single ladies keepur boyfriends in check too. A paranoid girlfriend today is a crazy wife tomoro. This whole single gals versus married ladies war is silly everyone should identify their real problems either. A randy husband or frustration @ being single and let us hear word biko!

  56. Jenny Craig

    April 2, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    I read the first few counsels and thought to myself, this isn’t funny, this is bitter. Whatever happened over the long weekend that caused you to write this must have been bad. I think you’re troubled. I hope you find peace.

    • Anon+1

      April 2, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      Ahn ahn, na wa o! You must be married and must indeed partake of some of the illustrations, how else can one explain your attitude over an article that the average person will see as lighthearted. Tschewwwwww

    • Jenny Craig

      April 2, 2013 at 5:26 pm

      You are “Tscheewing” at yourself! I am single, in fact VERY single. As in NOBODY (appealing to me) in sight but I still find this very OFF!!

  57. Kanddy

    April 2, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    from the way you wrote… i can tell you are not even close to being married. whoever is dumb enough to take your advice must be married to a whitey

  58. Omo

    April 2, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    I know what the problem is. I dare anyone to correct me ooooooo. If this was written by a married woman, I wonder if the comments will be like this. So, because a single woman dared poke fun, now all the claws are out. Oya talk true someborry. Be honest with yaself.

    • Aunty Prada

      April 2, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      Don’t mind them. Very foolish set of individuals. It is really paining me that they called her bitter. Every small thing is that single women are bitter. Real nonsense!

    • Jenny Craig

      April 2, 2013 at 5:21 pm

      Abeg abeg, Atoke has written other satirical pieces that I found funny. One readily comes to mind. This one however, just sounds off!

    • Specs

      April 3, 2013 at 12:59 am

      @Jenny Craig….why won’t it sound off??? Yoruba proverb says “….the truth and foolish talk can be perceived as children of the same mother..(to the one it is directed at)”

  59. Omo

    April 2, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    All you women, una get wahala, and this is coming from a guy. I thought this was light hearted and funny, and I recognised some traits in the wives of some of my friends, plus my sis in law in my own backyard. Only to read the comments, and see you women lashing out at each other. Y’all just made my slow day after work. Clap for yourselves

    • Iphie

      April 5, 2013 at 8:44 am

      hahahahahaha

  60. Atoke's voltron

    April 2, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Wait! Did someone mention subtle sarcasm…omo mehn, the sarcasm in this article o di kwa very teek, the same way her BankyW article reeked of it as well, but no we were super comfy, this one pinches a little. We need to flog this dead horse some more cos believe it or not, the picture Atoke painted is real, some married women need to observe chill!!

  61. Aunty Prada

    April 2, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    All of you need to get your panties out of a bunch. How can you say that Atoke is bitter? Is the concept of sarcasm missing from your dictionaries? You are the ones that are bitter and resentful, nonsense. Atoke, I got your back o jare!

    You people can be here talking rubbish but the truth is that some married women are out there blaming everything on single women, or making comments like they don’t allow single women into thier homes. If you need a recent example, go and read that most recent post from Toke Makinwa and the comments that some married women like Regina and Omojeje. Let’s not fool ourselves, especially in a place like Nigeria where marriage is the most exhaulted, there is an air of superiority that some married women have other thier single counterparts. If you are not guilty of such, then why are you mad?
    That aside, I saw this post for exactly what it is – a tongue in cheek, light hearted post so you all who didn’t get it need to take a chill pill.

    • sammy

      April 2, 2013 at 3:22 pm

      My exact train of thoughts. If you people are not guilty of all these then why is your blood boiling over something that is supposed to be whimsical.

  62. Madam the Madam

    April 2, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    Look at all of them. Tomorrow they will claim to be educated, but they cannot grasp the concept of simple sarcasm. Some even had the level of ignorance to claim that Atoke must be unhappy because she is single. Ah, one even stated that she is “married women hating”…ma’am, what exactly is she hating on in that your marriage?
    Abeg you people should not even let me start with you this morning. Arrant nonsense.

    Like the guy above stated, if a married woman had written this post I wonder how many of you would have flexed your fingers to type that she is unhappy and “hating”. Single women have truly suffered in this life sha. I’m getting all of you.

  63. Chi

    April 2, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    This is such a silly write up. I’ve been married for 17 years and have never thought of or actually done any of the above. Men will do what they want to do whether you live in their pants or have them on a leash. Its only a jobless married woman that will have the time and energy to do this. I have a life that I live to the fullest so such silly things will definitely not cross my mind.

    • Italian Princess

      April 2, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      LOL I think that was the exact point the writer was trying to make. It’s a satire. A bunch of educated illiterates.

      It is well. God save this generation.

    • Omo

      April 2, 2013 at 3:40 pm

      It is sarcasm Mrs Chi. let me spell it for you S.A.R.C.A.S.M. Google the meaning please. Anyone who takes this article seriously, or verbatim needs to hand over their pali. From University degree, all the way to Primary School certificate, and refund your parents all the money they spent on your education. Nigerians don’t get humour at all, unless it is wrapped in the razz Bovi, Basket Mouth or AY skint. Atoke, you need to start writing for a European Online magazine. Let my friends who work in the media hook you up. Mrs madam, I’m a guy, so be careful with yoour claws.

    • Pd

      April 3, 2013 at 12:31 am

      Lmao………

    • Chi

      April 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm

      My dear, I do know that it is sarcasm. Some readers have tried to tagged most people who do not like the article as ” educated illiterates”. Trust me, I am well educated. Though I know she is being sarcastic, I find the article to be very offensive and fail to see any humour whatsoever in it. To each, his own.

      We all have different views and I have given mine. You really didn’t have to “shout” the words “Sarcasm” either. I get it. I still don’t like it and think it is very silly!

    • Chi

      April 3, 2013 at 5:02 pm

      @ Omo, Typo error….tag and not tagged in my reply to you.

    • shoeluv

      April 10, 2013 at 11:41 pm

      Looooool! Ur so mean on Mrs Madam

  64. Chi

    April 2, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    In fact, on the contrary, its my husband who worries that I spend too much time giggling away on social media or on my bbm. I am a confident, beautiful, married woman and I know I am all that and a bag of chips. “Flips hair and walks off”

    • A.E.I

      April 2, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      MSCHHHEEEEEEWWW!!!!!!!!! That’s all i have to say to you. You can giggle all you like, your husband aint bothered cos he knows nobody’s gonna come panting after you like a Dog in heat! ISH!!!

    • Chi

      April 3, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      My dear, I do know that it is sarcasm. Some readers have tried to tagged most people who do not like the article as ” educated illiterates”. Trust me, I am well educated. Though I know she is being sarcastic, I find the article to be very offensive and fail to see any humour whatsoever in it. To each, his own.

      Really? Hope you took your bp drugs right after this episode.
      We all have different views and I have given mine. You really didn’t have to “shout” the words “Sarcasm” either. I get it. I still don’t like it and think it is very silly!

    • AMA

      April 5, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      LOOL UNFORTUNATELY URE MY NAMESAKE ..NOT ALL SINGLE GIRLS, BUT MOST OF THEM! ALOT OF THEM ACTUALLY..JUST VERY FEW SINGLE LADIES HAVE FOUND THEIR ULTIMATE REASON FOR EXISTENCE.. AND THE OTHERS, BLEH……..GET MARRIED AND SEE IF U’D NOT BE GUARDING UR HUBBY LIKE A HAWK.

    • Msunderstood

      April 3, 2013 at 4:10 am

      Exactly my thot, confidence n a healthy self esteem is important. I go out wit my hubby n all d men r looking at me, all his friends pass comment like ” anyone will think I had my kids via surrogate”, we go to d club n d guys r checking me out. He puts my pic on his dp n all his coworkers r asking ?s, saying wow. So a beg, I ve never for one day worried my head abt one single girl.

    • Msunderstood

      April 3, 2013 at 4:14 am

      Another thing is marrying ur friend n having an honest relationship. I so trust my husband. Not all men cheat. We tease each other abt things lik dat. When I see his spec I tease him abt it, when he sees a guy checking me out he will even tell me to flaunt my cleavage more. He loves it wen dey stare. A beg, self confidence on both sides is key.

    • LOl

      April 3, 2013 at 4:31 pm

      i’m not saying your husband will cheat…in fact i pray he doesn’t. but your comment seems to imply that you think guys don’t cheat on beautiful girls.Ask Halle Berry….

  65. sugar and spice

    April 2, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    hahahahaha na wa o, there are alot of bitter single girls on BN today.

    These same people that are bashing married women would still be the ones offering prayers on every wedding post.

    Oya please o, if there is no big deal about being married, why do y”all bitter babes keep praying for it mchewwww nonsense.

    Marrried women abeg ignore them and enjoy an awesome evening with your partners!

    • Omo

      April 2, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      Now, who sounds superior here? You see yourself, you just exposed yourself just right there. Bitter single women, seriously. So, your friends that are single are bitter, or your sisters and cousins are bitter, or when you were single you are bitter. I have 2 single sisters, and i will come down hard on anyone who dares call them bitter. I think I need to get my guys together and discuss this issue, because men don’t treat or refer to their fellow men like this. Bitter is actually a very strong word to use, and as I’ve seen that we have a lot of illiterates on this comments section, it seems many people don’t know what the words means. BN, a lot of men visit your site, because it is refreshing and intellectual, compared to most blogs that pander to women. It seems you have imported a new crop of LI and Nairaland readers lately. You guys need to get back to the intellectual and sophisticated mode you started with, or you’ll lose more readers and there won’t be any difference. Set yourself apart, be the blog to aspire to. We are in a recession, yet Selfridges is still making money. They didn’t downgrade to Primark level to attract customers. May I suggest moderating more comments. If it reads out stupid, it is probably coming from a stupid person, so don’t let them taint all your hardwork.

    • sugar and spice

      April 2, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      LOL 1) You’re obviously not a guy 2) If its paining you so much go and get married toooooo 3) Sitting in front of your computer and refreshing every two minutes to reply comments shows how stupid the act is, you oh mighty one who is referring to comments from others as stupid.

    • Madam the Madam

      April 2, 2013 at 5:02 pm

      LMAO. Biko chop knuckle brother Omo.

    • Naija talk

      April 2, 2013 at 5:49 pm

      Mr. Omo whatever happened to freedom of speech. You are looking down in disdain at the some of the commenters on here, saying that some people are illiterates and do not get the sarcasm. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and variety is the spice of life. It is good to read/see/hear both sides of the argument. Please don’t come and spoil business for Bella Naija by suggesting unnecessary comment moderation. Do not get frustrated when you see opinions that don’t mesh with yours. Look at it as another point of view and move on. I do not subscribe to people calling the writer bitter. I hope she has a thick skin and overlooks the insult to her person. However, if I were in her position, I will be glad to read the debate my article has generated. You’re telling the married women it’s not that serious. For other commenters too, it’s not that serious!!!
      It must be a Nigerian thing where people find it difficult to present their point of view without insulting the opposing side. nawa!

    • A.D

      April 5, 2013 at 11:03 am

      OMG , looooool. I thought the post was funny till I started reading the comments, Chei , some people didn’t wake up on the right side of their beds o, Haba, cut Atoke some slack, I think I agree with u Omo, we ladies are our own worst enemies, I think we all need to read this piece

      memoirsofagoodnaijagurl.blogspot.com/2013/01/all-men-are-not-same.html

      *still laughing* loving this post

    • YS

      April 12, 2013 at 4:38 am

      LOL! Omo, hear, hear o jare! #OutofTheMouthsofDudes 😀

  66. AA

    April 2, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    While we are at it, the comments on this post http://www.bellanaija.com/2013/03/29/must-watch-video-media-personality-toke-makinwa-speaks-on-the-married-woman-syndrome-guidelines-for-single-ladies/ just show how elevated and refocused the married become. And peradventure while single, you did all those things now fuelling your imagination, then bikonu \__ have one on me and watch your harvest roll in.

  67. Nomy

    April 2, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Am single o and i know a satire when i see one biko! Atoke good write up, Pleasing read. That said, i take extra care not to be seen talking or gisting with another woman’s husband interestedly, i don’t even have discussions withmarried men if i can help it especially if they are young married men, next thing you know the wife will show up looking dour faced and all and ike adiro m and i also find ish like that very embarassing! A man offered me free ride before with his wife in the car but i declined because of the look on wifey’s face. In summary, wives biko take a chill pill, i follow wan marry dey like you so stop spoiling my market by accusing me of things i”ve not even imagined. Single Ladies o gini? Maintain your own lane naaaaa, no go begin befriend a married man and become his platonic and gisting partner, e no just make sense unless you get intentions o! nuff said

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      April 2, 2013 at 5:23 pm

      Nne, take five. Single ladies, learn how to maintain your lane indeed. As in, the way I dey use avoid insult na mistake only wey fit bring anyone’s wife to dey ask me “kweshon” about how I dey take relate with im hubsand.

      Once a man is married (and I apply this principle to anyone’s husband, whether na my close friend marry am or not), na with very long pole I dey use deal with you, oh, make I no become subject-matter of any couple’s disagreement.

      However, even with all the pre-caution sef, the ones wey still no like ya singleness being in the same vicinity as dem husbands go still dey give you bad eye. As one married woman told me (she imparted this jokingly but as me sef hear am, I begin use another eye dey look her, sha):- “Can you blame us? You in particular, with this your fair complexion and figure, when you enter church we know some of the men will be looking, so the women have to cover their husbands eyes.”

      AH!! Na real fear catch me but I had to rationalize it and not blame myself. I no comot from house naked, abi na charcoal and sack cloth I wan begin use dey go church? If na cover you wan cover your husbands eyes, your work plenty oh but na your work be that, no be my own. I shall continue dressing well and looking fly (as long as I no dey wear “show body” cloth) 🙂

    • jcsgrl

      April 3, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      At Nomy and Ms Socially awkward, you ladies are the best. You described me as a single girl. The moment any friend or relative of mine who be guy gets married, I give him space. No more chatting up at odd hours or hanging out. Infact I do my own sotee they come dey wonder if we quarrel. Also my married friends loved being around me and very comfortable having me around their hubbies. I spent nights at their house and what not. I find out that sometimes women who can’t trust their men around single girls either were guilty of such in their single days or see themselves in every single girl. Bcos of how they related to men, they feel every single chic is out for their man though it can be true. Me, my life is an open book. What you see is what you get. Oh and I tell the men married to my friends, if I catch you with any woman, I WILL TELL! If I even use my ear to hear, I WILL TELL. So they respect themselves around me. when they see me at any outing, fear no go gree dem. Another thing I did, if you give me something or said something when the wife is not there, I will repeat it again in her prescence. I will say something like, oh Emy and I were talking the other day and he said blah blah blah. So the wife go no say I had convo with em man. If you give me money, I will call the wife and thank her for the money u give me. So you see why those men no mess around me. I didn’t play…lol! So women biko respect yourselves o!

  68. Babym

    April 2, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Hmmm interesting comments article and comments.
    Let me tell you why a lot of ppl r not finding this funny or failing to see the sarcasm in it. This article can be perceived as written in bad taste. Having a cheating spouse is one of the most painful and heartbreaking things anyone can go through, and so to make jokes about it and expect married women to see the ‘sarcasm’ in it I personally think is in bad taste and unfair.

  69. Mimi luvy

    April 2, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    Married men,married women,single girls,we ђά̲̣̣vέ one life,S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ ђά̲̣̣vέ fun n stay protected,am married yes once i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ a while I suspect my husband buh den I say to myself,he will definately cheat n I will too,S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ wat d heck,abeg oooo…he has a life n I do,no dulling,if I die becuz of checkn up  him(hbp),he will remarry,S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ who r we kidding,too blessed to be stressed.

  70. I laugh

    April 2, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    I am a married woman and over confidence worries me. If you are single and it’s my man you want, go ahead and have him, he’ll use you but i am always his number 1. I can’t even have headache cos of any girl cos if she was worth it, he won’t have to sneak around with her anyway. So hey single girls, dont go happy thinking all a married woman thinks about is you, if you were dealing with my kinda married woman, you don’t exist. 🙂

    • Abana

      April 2, 2013 at 7:43 pm

      As long as you remember to pack condoms in his toilet case so he doesn’t give you STDs.

    • I laugh

      April 3, 2013 at 10:00 am

      Trust me Abana, me sef na Condom be my contraceptive. lol

    • ACDC

      April 2, 2013 at 9:12 pm

      Correct

    • Specs

      April 3, 2013 at 12:52 am

      You are No1?? I swear I thought you were going to say something a tad smarter like “keep him cause, that means I can do better” (at least). and then Dude!! you just addressed ALL single ladies together like that??? do you see some type of reverse psychology in your argument? anyways sha. I am single but possibly wiser, so here’s a little bit of advice you could use…I’d be worried casually dismissing my husband’s (possible)cheating ways, just cos you are his No1(what d – does that even mean??)….na wah oh, I guess it doesn’t take that much to keep you….good for you. But as previously advised, watch out for STDs and yea, the strong-willed strange woman that will push you from you prestigious number one (I follow you laugh) to number zero….

    • I laugh

      April 3, 2013 at 10:06 am

      Hey Specs; we are having fun here ain’t we. A bit of advise for you…. When you get married (If you ever do) You will realise staying number 1 or not to use the word “deceiving” psyching yourself as number 1 is the only way you can ignore the realities outside. While you are at it and still single, stop being bitter at my being number 1. I am number 1 cause i choose to be. Gerrit?

    • wendy

      April 4, 2013 at 3:44 am

      chai!! I am truly pained by your response…I think I just might cry! did you just insinuate that I might not get married? It’s not fair o! can you direct such a statement at your own sister? God will judge between you and I!…..**wailing**

      Not!!!! the truth has been told, I know its too late for you to nake a choice to marry a man that you wouldn’t have to deceive/psych yourself to have some peace(yay to me still being single now, innit?)…. deal with it or get a life and hand your husband a box of condoms. mssscheww.( Mrs somebody’s number one…what an identity!!!!)

    • Specs

      April 4, 2013 at 3:47 am

      @ Ilaugh: chai!! I am truly pained by your response…I think I just might cry! did you just insinuate that I might not get married? It’s not fair o! can you direct such a statement at your own sister? God will judge between you and I!…..**wailing**

      Not!!!! the truth has been told, I know its too late for you to nake a choice to marry a man that you wouldn’t have to deceive/psych yourself to have some peace(yay to me still being single now, innit?)…. deal with it or get a life and hand your husband a box of condoms. mssscheww.( Mrs somebody’s number one…what an identity!!!!)

  71. fashionandstylepolice

    April 2, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Married women vs Single women. The fight is on.

  72. ozed

    April 2, 2013 at 8:58 pm

    Hello people, the word “sarcasm” actually means remarks that imply the opposite of what they appear to mean and are intended upset or mock somebody. so “sarcasm” does not mean “funny”. Having pointed this out, it is also worthy to point out that this piece is not meant to be taking too seriously. Y’all relax and just have some good laugh.

  73. fade

    April 2, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    I am single yet I know this aint funny really. When atoke marries, I’m sure she’d start writing friendlier articles to support why she would chain her husband down in order to ensure no one snaatches him away (I’m just being sarcastic too). Peace.

    • Landon

      April 2, 2013 at 11:48 pm

      I think some of you need help with what sarcasm really is. Sarcasm does not mean funny. Sarcasm is basically conveying a message in an ironical way: the real message is the opposite of what the user (Atoke) means. It’s just like if my daughter was trying to step her foot on a nail and I tell her common do it you will feel ticklish afterwards. Common knowledge will let her know that nails do the opposite of what I am talking about.

  74. Chic

    April 2, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    Dayumm women need to take a chill pill on here! Atoke keep writing jor me am loving this write up hahahaha married voltrons are up in arms *sits back and enjoys the comments*

  75. ice

    April 3, 2013 at 12:15 am

    Lol, if u were once single, den ul understand better

  76. Nubian

    April 3, 2013 at 7:42 am

    If u like go to his office and give him a blow job,as soon as u wipe ur mouth to leave his secretary will be there to give him 10 cums,all dis u listed won’t make a cheating le Hub shag ur maid,gals re desperate the moment they want ur hubby wedding band or not de ll get him. My opinion is for this married women to fire prayers on him head and also beg God to blind their evil eye.shikena

  77. Annie

    April 3, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Before i continue reading the comments lemme chip in some new tactic some yeye married men use on single girls….hey and for married women vexing here, we all singles would one day in the nearest future be wives…ok back to the stupid tactic…i ve met two “married guys” in this Lasgidi that hit on me like they are single, the first one gave me stories abt having an issue in his relationship, thank goodness i advised he go sort whatever it was out, then i met his friend and his friend wondered what i was doing with him, and i told his friend we weren’t dating, good he said, cos he is married with a son..now i asked him and he lied, second guy gave stories abt wanting to marry some girl 2yrs ago but his folks didnt let him cos she is frm a different tribe, guess what? he is married and just had a second child this year…my point is..all these vexing wives, u should see the length your husbands would go to have a single girl date them…hey in both cases i was lucky, as in very lucky i didn’t fall for them, but in any case a married woman’s prayers would ve backfired on them, they too should be thanking God….wives no matter how strongly u hold on to ur husbands if they want to cheat they would, if the types that lie abt their marital status happen to jam a desperado then ayam sorry for u.

  78. tomeloma

    April 3, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Atoke, I really love this, I actually called up my single friends to say hi and chat up like we used to because I realised my self-absorption with my life after marriage could be sending the wrong signals even though I know you’re just joking really but ..ninu ere lati mo oto oro..

  79. victoria

    April 3, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    OK fine,i guess married women should take a chill pill.but let me tell you something,even with the ups n downs of marriage,its a beautiful thing.being single can be somewhat frustrating n the frustration of most single girls nearing the age of thirty can be felt here.y”all rather should take the chill pill.i see these write up as a fun article but when you comment that most married women looks so old……jeez get to that stage before u start running your mouth.

  80. queen esther

    April 3, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    OMG! I yaf die of lafta ooo. Atoke, but u left the part of feeding him FAT so he bcomes less/unattractive.

    • lizzie

      April 5, 2013 at 1:48 pm

      LOL, i like!!. Anyways, to those saying Atoke is “marriedwomenhating” y’all know her boss is a married woman right? that’s Bella herself. Come on y’all learn to take a joke abeg.
      Atoke, you are a greaaat writer, nuff said.

  81. Hyan

    April 3, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    I am not sure… I’m single and I have had some crazy ass friends. They see a wedding band as a man that’s already been broken in, ready for them to make a move on. Just marry a good man. My dad has always had more female friends than male. 24 years of marriage to my mom, never a whiff of infidelity and they still send each other off to work with a kiss. That is the marriage I want. My mom always says, I know who I married. I have seen my dad in a crowd. He’s the popular guy in the middle, all his friends call him “fine boy” but he will still remember to buy my mom her favorite suya on the way home and fill her car with fuel. Honestly, the insecurity also comes from marrying someone we feel is capable. With prayer, the married woman and single lady will share the jungle in peace one day.

  82. taiwo akin

    April 4, 2013 at 1:46 am

    there is no need to get personal nah…having fun anyway
    the Lord will help us

  83. Princess MIMI

    April 4, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    There are plenty of married women out there that did not sow anything. When they met the guy he was already loaded. I do not believe any woman should fight for a guy. If he loves you he will honour his marriage vows.

  84. Sahfeeyah

    April 5, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    Funny, annoying, silly, naive…..name it type of comments naim I don see here today..Hehehehehehe..this men won’t allow us kii ourselves oooh. Meanwhile, is it clearly stated in the religious books that one must get married, or is it a moral/cultural thing?

  85. truth

    April 6, 2013 at 11:48 am

    ALL OF YOU HATING ARE NOT MARRIED. ITS A SHAME U CANT SEE BEYOND THE TRUTH THAT SOME SINGLE GIRLS ARE VERY DESPERATE( NOT ALL OF THEM , AS SOME ARE STILL GOD FEARING AND DECENT).tHEY WILL GO TO ANY LENGHT TO GET ANY MAN THEY WANT WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT. AGAIN SOME GIRLS (NOT ALL) CAN BE VERY JEALOUS AND CAN HARDLY BE TRULY HAPPY FOR OTHERS. NICE TIPS BY ATOKE , MOST OF WHICH SHOULD BE APPLIED WITH SOME SORT OF DIPLOMACY. JUST STOP HATING, BE HAPPY, FREE YOUR SPIRIT AND WHAT IS YOURS WILL COME TO YOU , AMEN. I BELIEVE THAT EVERY WOMAN MUST FIND THEIR OWN PARTNER SOMEDAY, AND HAVE THEIR OWN FAMILY TOO, FOR EVERYONE DESERVES TO EXPERIENCE THAT IN THEIR LIFE TIME.

  86. jennietobbie

    April 6, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    DamnDamn!!! it must be the weekend fever. yesterday, we wereindependent women, tomorrow we stand upfor women empowerment, but today we ooze nothing but HATE for one another. And it’s not rocket science why men treat us like a piece of flesh

    • jyde

      April 8, 2013 at 3:39 pm

      At long last,a voice of reason.

  87. jonh

    April 6, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    Making fun of a married woman’s insecurities… Nice article.. I wil get married in 6wks time, my boo has cheated twice in the past, i have forgiven him, sometimes the fear of it happening again is there but to my knowledge, he has been faithful in d last 2yrs, that said, i read this articl smiled, i saw my bestie in some lines and pray in 5yrs i dont see myself in some lines… Insecurity is not something to mock someone with.. Esp mockery laced with disdain.

  88. Spesh

    April 7, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    Interesting post. Love the sarcasm.
    if the word “Wori Gida” is supposed to be Hausa though, then it’s “Uwargida”

  89. A.D

    April 8, 2013 at 9:21 am

    MBA MBA MBA , Bella Biko, I don’t like the new wallpaper, I hope it’s an ad and will go off soon, I know change is constant , but I think this gives logic to that cos I don’t like it.
    #just my two cents

  90. TheTruth13

    April 8, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Oro nla! LOL I must take that Twitter tip -____-

  91. Life Is Serious...Or Not.

    April 9, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I come to BN once in a while and I have always enjoyed reading the comments. As a guy, it is fascinating to see women go off at each other – Single VS Married, Single VS Single & Married Vs Married. I believe this is the reason the world is still essentially governed by men – women are too busy fighting each other to challenge the status quo. What’s with the Single Vs Married divide? Single and married men mix freely without any issues. Why can’t y’all just get along?!

    As far as cheating goes, it takes two to tango. This means that regardless of who does the chasing, the man is involved – either actively or passively. So, for the married women, do your best to look after your homes (you can take some of Atoke’s advice – lol – at your own risk). For the single ones, try not to get entangled with married men if you can help it. Most importantly, for my fellow men, biko, try your best to be faithful. It’s difficult but achievable.

    Selah.

  92. Jane Doe

    April 11, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Bravo & well said to this Gentleman ^^^^^^^^^^. Though I am a woman, I too agree that us women complicate each others lives far too much. Please lets make a concious effort to emulate less emotional temperents towards one another ;). Both sides of the spectrum do have a point (The Married feeling they have to keep their radar up & the Singles feeling they are treated irrationally by their married peers). To each man/woman, his or her own responsibility to bear when it cones to infidelity. That includes those who seek other people’s “property” & the shameless yet countless MARRIED men I have seen living out the single life at the clubs under false pretenses.

  93. nwanyi na aga aga

    April 11, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    heheheheheheheehe! Chai! this married vs single ladies war. all i can say is that to the single ladies this post was funny but to the married ppl it wasnt. ngwanu Atoke dont annoy ur married fans again o.

  94. teeteewright

    April 11, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    Atoke! i totally enjoyed this article. I see the humor in it, and i wonder why some dont see it. Part of the story is true..single girls of nowadays, prefer the men married.But that is some, not all single girls..and really i dont think all married women do the above stated actions.it would be totally killing to stalk a man like this. Being married myself, i know the MRS badge is a proud achievement, howbeit, why are we attacking ourselves, when the MEN should be dealt with. For the single girls, when you attain your MRS badge you’ll know how the shoe pinches. Nice article anyways!

  95. HRHJ

    April 12, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    1. Not ALL single girls are on the hunt for married men.
    2. Not ALL married women are waiting to catch a single woman with their husbands
    3. Some married women DO married men… And not their spouses
    4. Remain focused on the crux of the matter ‘faith and commitment’
    5. I surely won’t fee better about a cheating husband just cos he’s cheating with a married woman as against a single girl
    6. An interested man would chase an available lady married or not
    7. A married man is the biggest trap any single girl can fall into… Ultimate time wasters while younthink you are having fun… They stay married to their wives 90% of the time except u introduce jazz sha…
    8. Some marriages are open… The guy can play and his wife really truly doesn’t mind… He’s not that great I bed anyway and besides, she has greater conquests to conquer
    9. The article was needlessly sarcastic and deserved a more revealing topic… I feel like I was tricked into reading it..
    10. Btw, in marriage, the weaker should help the stronger, so if a woman feels the need to drive temptation away from her hubby, she should not b ashamed in doing so..

  96. bebe

    April 15, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    ol boy! dis article ehn…. I think the most important thing for a married woman is to get a life and not to devote her whole life to her husband. aot of times married women pass off a lot to be with their men, not worth it, ”okunrin o se gbe semi” however on another note why do all your unmarried friends stop talking to when you get married? ???

  97. Kelechi

    May 3, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    oo gurrlll!! This one bad oooo. @ HRHJ, thanks so much. You just highlighted all the koko points.

  98. Cathy

    May 10, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    Interesting view, but I think that life is just what life is.You get those insecure women who think they are better than their singel sisters.Unfortunately yes, and they are people that decent single ladies don’t need as friends.There are those out ther who are sure about themselves and their relationships, so hook up with them.Unfortunately the majority of marriages these days are in trouble so those insecure ladies must be careful that their own insecurities could lead to the end of their marriages.Better go and see a psychologist if you have such a problem.

  99. AS IS

    May 27, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    This article is rubbish. It’s not even funny. If there were no desperate girls like the writer out there, perhaps the married woman wont worry. Regardless, I dont see many married women giving themselves a heart attack over guarding their husbands.. perhaps only the jobless ones who were once jobless singles like the writer of this article. The sarcasm is disgusting. Not funny at all..

  100. After reading this, I need Atoke

    May 9, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    Can’t wait until you’re married and some predatory female comes and tries to destroy your marriage and family. Wonder how funny you’ll find your “witty” writings then. (And, if you really think calling someone every hour would help ANY relationship, it’s no wonder you’re still writing from a single’s point of view.)

  101. Michelle

    February 25, 2016 at 10:06 pm

    Happily single, celibate and sick and tired of married men aggressively pursuing me–at work, socially, wherever. No matter how elusive and rude I am to the men, the wives treat me like a suspect. I’m sorry that it hurts so much when your man finds another woman attractive. More likely, some men want their wives and/or girlfriends to think they are wanted by someone else so they play games. Please don’t get me shot or stabbed in the process. Often in public, I see women looking at the man then at me to see if we’re looking at each other. News flash: I’m not leaving the planet just so you can be secure. He must be a louse if you’re that paranoid. Is any man really that important? Find something interesting to do, and stop looking over your shoulder so much. Some women are single because they don’t buy the con and refuse to DO ANYTHING trying to get in a “coveted” marriage. I hate to say there is serious truth behind the article’s dramatized statements. I laughed. I might write a song about this ’cause somebody needs to.

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