Money is such a touchy subject to talk about. Whether it is the earning, spending or lending of it, it is never a walk in the park. Okay, maybe the spending is not that difficult actually but you get my point. During my first year at Unilag, I lived in a cramped room with at least 14 other girls and our beds were understandably squashed together. Trust me, it was quite a lesson in human behaviour.
There was this girl whose bed was beside mine and she LOVED clothes; luckily there was never a shortage of Yaba traders swarming the rooms of Newest Hall. She was a special customer of “Mr. Jeans” but she was ALWAYS owing the man! Mr Jeans would pull out his book “Na, 5,500 remain oh”; she wouldn’t even look bothered. She’d just look around the room and ask one of the other room mates to “quickly borrow” her money.
So here we are three weeks later and my roomie still hasn’t paid back the money. When asked again, she’d either pick a quarrel or beg someone nearby to “quickly borrow” her to repay this “annoying girl disturbing her for ORDINARY 5k”.
Over time, I’d noticed this trend. It was a continuous cycle of debt and repayment and the quarrels that ensued from the non-repayment of loans. It taught me a valuable lesson, money and friendships don’t mix very well. However, as I grew older, I forgot that lesson and just assumed that because a person earned an income, they’d be able to pay back loans as and when they promised because they had an income. WRONG!
I’ve been wanting to write about this for months and I talked about it with some of my friends and they said “Ah! do you want XYZ to say you’re subbing him/her in public?” To that I responded, “why is it okay to have righteous indignation when you’re the one who is owing and have failed to keep your word?”.
It is understandable that a lot of times, things don’t go as we plan. If we plan to pay back and the expected funds fall through we are stuck. But, is there anything wrong with telling your creditor that you’re unable to deliver as promised? Someone said that “close friends” are the most culpable in this “Onigbese” malaise. There’s also the group of people who assume that you have lots of money and as such they can hold on to that 35k they borrowed since November 2011. Some people will actually pick a fight with you “Is it because of ordinary 7k that you’re burning up my phone? Please I don’t have the money”.
I think this habit kills the kindness in people because if I’ve been stung more than once, the chances are that no matter how sad your sob story or emergency is, I am unlikely to help out. I’ll probably just say “Eeeya, I don’t have money right now oh”. My friend, Femi, is even more devious, she turns around and spins a more pathetic tale of her own. Her response “My 500k is still hanging with that silly girl. My milk of human kindness is all dried out”
Guys, what do you think? How does one handle this case of money lending? If you’ve borrowed money from someone, is there a particular way you want to be asked for the money? Is there a delicate way to approach money matters without ruining a relationship? Do you agree that money that can’t be given up shouldn’t be lent out at all? What’s the best way to handle some of these tricky situations?
Let’s discuss… lots of friendships are relying on this!
Photo Credit: romancemeetslife.com