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“I Really Didn’t Expect Anyone to Believe Me” – Writer & Radio Personality Ese Walter speaks on Criticism on Alleged Affair with Nigerian Pastor



Ese Walter - August 2013 - BellaNaija

After writing a tell-all on her blog on her alleged affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA (Common Wealth of Zion Assembly) – Click Here to Read, Ese Walter has written another article which she titled “Going Forward”

The Nigerian writer and radio personality speaks on moving forward, thanking those who supported her and that her evidence is with a minister in a Christian body.

Read it here;

The past week has ‘killed’ me. It has stripped me of whatever ‘self-importance’ I nursed in the corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened me up to my real self. It has brought me to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most grateful for.

When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog, I never imagined it would generate the kind of attention it did and continues to. I have one last thing to say on this issue before I lay it to rest and move on. (I also hope others can move on too, we have too much going on in this Country to continue to peddle one for longer than necessary.)

A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it necessary to talk about this issue and spread it throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read every email sent to me with awe that people would take the time out to reach a total stranger like me.

Some were cursing, calling me a witch from the pit of hell sent to destroy the church as though one individual/church is bigger than the body of Christ. As though God is mere man and would cringe in heaven saying, “Ese don did it this time.” Or as if the good Book didn’t state clearly that ALL things work out for good for those that love God.

Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL turn around for good.

Some people say, ‘I support you, you are brave and courageous’ and I wonder if those terms really define me. I do not think I am brave or courageous. I do know, however that after decades of sleepwalking through life, I am now becoming aware not just of myself but also of my environment, my world, and the universe.

Some say, put out the evidence and we will believe you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write that post, I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. Well, apart from those involved. And my motive was simple, let one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its responsibilities as God’s legal representatives here in the earth realm.

A copy of the ‘evidence’ is with a respected minister of the gospel should the christian body decide to deal with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am not looking to have a ‘me against them’ case where I need to prove I’m right and someone is wrong. I am far from right, but I have used the only means available to me to free myself of the bondage I put myself in.

Lastly, to all the media people seeking interviews and whatever else mailing me, I have nothing more to say on this issue. I cannot reply every email as reading them is beginning to seem like a new job.

I remember asking a friend once while reading the book of Acts, “Why do we no longer operate in the power the disciples did in Jesus day?” What has changed? How do we ‘unchange’ it?

God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let’s serve Him. We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the ME ME ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said, ‘no one is free until we are all free.’

Things have got to change and it begins with us. It begins with each and every one of us borrowing courage to stand for what we believe in. Fela Durotoye once said, ‘that thing that annoys you most in society is a sign that you carry its solution.’ (I’m paraphrasing)

Nothing has called out to me more than people, especially women, suffering in some way and hiding the pain. Whatever we cover doesn’t go away. It grows and it finds different outlets to rear its ugly head until we deal with it.

I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves.

At the end of the day, we agree that ‘men of God’ are firstly men, right? This means it’s needless expecting them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a ‘man of God’ is equated to God and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.

How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that but we live in a generation/Country where people don’t want to study for themselves. They don’t want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don’t want to read, period. They want to pursue things instead and have somebody do the praying and studying for them. If you fall in that category, you need to repent.

I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given equal access to the Father. No matter how long you may have been in church, if you don’t know what that means you better ask somebody. And seek a real relationship with the God you claim to serve.

That is what I am spending most of my time doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I did what I needed to do to the best of my

My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way or another.

Firstly, my family: I don’t know how you guys aren’t sick of me yet 😉

Secondly, ‘the body of Christ,’ my intention was never to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt might spread and become worse if nobody spoke up about it.

Lastly, to those who said I shouldn’t blog again, I respect and understand your concerns but the truth is, writing is not just my gift, it is also my ‘curse’. I cannot ‘NOT’ write but I PROMISE, this is the last I will say on this issue except the christian body needs to see me.

God is building His church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. No sin is too big to wreck anyone’s faith. If it does, then it means it’s working out a greater good for you. You will definitely come out stronger and better in the end. Like my best friend says “in the end, it will be all right and if it ain’t alright, it’s not the end.”


  1. Abiola

    August 31, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    I hope everyone will move on now and allow this matter to rest. I expect all to have learnt one or two things from this whole mess.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 31, 2013 at 1:24 pm

      Move on to where? When COZA’s leadership have been preparing a “robust reply” since last week?? I still dey wait to hear am oh…

    • Cynthia

      August 31, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      Hahaha, mz socially awkward u got me laffing, [email protected] robust reply.

    • YungFab

      August 31, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      Lol! You already know that the said pastor did it. Robust reply that we will never get.

    • Person

      August 31, 2013 at 2:12 pm

      Me sef dey await robust reply from Biodun o! La taaro!

    • Juba

      August 31, 2013 at 3:56 pm


    • nene

      August 31, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      lol, you are crazy. i think Christians should listen to ese, and seek God for themselves, instead of glorifying human beings like yourselves, who are called pastors/priests/deacons/bishops

  2. dami

    August 31, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Didn’t want to comment on this issue,but i daresay that Ese has raised major points d end,if there us truth in her accusation, her actions r justified n commendable for she has freed herself from d world’s standard.pastor biodun shld do same a young lady of 19/20,i ynder influence of his charisma dated a Redeem pastor who was married wit kids.i stopped it cos i knew it was wrong but convincing him to accept my position was quite tough.he still wanted us to continue. Lets tell our selves d truth cos indeed God is not mocked.he knws his people not all dat say lord lord are his.

    • Just saying...

      September 2, 2013 at 4:43 pm

      ‘And my motive was simple, let one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its responsibilities as God’s legal representatives here in the earth realm.’

      A word is enough for the wise….

  3. Gistyinka Blog

    August 31, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Have being waiting for her to write like this ,but finally she broke the silence…

  4. maob2nyc

    August 31, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    **drum roll**

  5. Cynthia

    August 31, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Plssssssssss READ well before you comment, and also to the end. Ese thank you because this is also a call for me to check myself in Christ. No one is without sin. But we strive daily to be blameless and acceptable before the lord, lord pls have mercy. For we cannot continue in sin, that grace will be abundant.

  6. Titi

    August 31, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Ese, you are indeed a splendid writer, surely a gift from God! best article i have read this morning! I pray that your story will help free those in bondage from their so-called pastors and churches. Indeed, we all have equal access to God! Even the bible talks about the last days when there would be false preachers etc. we are in the last days……….know the truth and it will set you free. God bless you Ese and I wish you a good life. May His Grace be with you always.

  7. slice

    August 31, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Ms. Walter’s “proof with man of God” response to the request for evidence is just as convenient as the pastor’s waiting to provide “robust reply” response. Maybe these two are actually meant for each other

    • Wow

      September 1, 2013 at 3:18 am

      Abi oh! Thank you oh!

    • jcsgrl

      September 3, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      Slice common on naa…no need to go there. Moving on we shall…he who has ear let him hear

    • jcsgrl

      September 3, 2013 at 3:46 pm

      My primary concern is that due to how this story has died a slow death like I predicted, another abusive leader or pastor in authority will manipulate another young woman with these words, “Remember what happened to Ese Walters. Everybody bashed her and nobody believed her story. I won’t say anything and the whole thing will die down in a few days. The same thing will happen if you dare speak about our affair.” sighs

    • jcsgrl

      September 3, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      Slice common naa, no need to go there

  8. O'Kel

    August 31, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    Thank you Ese for your courage.
    Now it takes courage to stand up in a congregation and own up to your fart.
    I thank you because you have touched a spot in my heart by your confession. I admire your selflessness in not hiding behind a veil of silence on the matter.
    Sin has pervaded the very core of our beings and is threatening to destroy the foundations of the church, sin, especially sin that is covered. Your coming out will, shall we say, inject a much needed dose of self-awareness and discipline that is in great want in Christendom, and perhaps bring those of us still cowering in fear and shame of past misdeeds to our knees in true repentance. Amen!
    But beyond your courage and selflessness, I like what you’re doing with your gift. There’s a reason why God made writers, why He made some and put within them the crazy need to write! You are not hiding your gift, you are not wasting it either. What you’re doing is putting it to its rightful use – speaking the truth, God bless you girl.
    And you are right to draw the curtain on the whole affair here. You have done your bit, God’s good with you, so keep the focus ok.
    1 love!

    • i no send

      August 31, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      @ O Kel….. i say Gba be..nothing to add

  9. Timi

    August 31, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    This lady strikes me as an attention seeker. I personally don’t want to hear any more from her. I genuinely don’t know what to believe regarding this fiasco and I’ll be interested to see how the accused pastor responds. In the mean time , this girl has achieved her attention seeking purpose.

    • Juba

      August 31, 2013 at 4:48 pm

      You call Ese Attention seeker? Yet robust reply hasn’t been finalized by COZA?

    • dem

      August 31, 2013 at 5:04 pm

      @Blacky,as learned as you claimed to be , after reading ur epistle, i realised that you areone of those educated illiterTe. You are so myopic i n ur thinking.NOt much different from Femi FALANA. whatever happens , with your intelligence you never judge people. I guess you are one of the followerz of Coza,until your daughter brcomes a victim , u will understand that devil are in th church.Even, my GOD said judgement will start from the church. My dear no sin to the body of christ. Stop turning bible upside down

  10. Person

    August 31, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    Thank you Ese. I remember you from law school. I believe you were trying to find your way to God when Biodun took advantage of you. You are free now. Him who the Son sets free is free indeed. For those saying you weren’t a victim, they don’t know what you and I both know about Pentecostal churches. I was a ‘leader’ in my fellowship in one of the Universities in South West Nigeria, this uni is extremely famous for religious fanaticism and what I saw in those brief years almost made me lose my faith. So called MOGs using God as a witness to their lies and fleshy excesses. Men that will say God said something and then say God didn’t say so again. My eyes finally opened when a group of Christians I respected so much followed their pastor into the bush to await the second coming of Christ. In the FREAKING bush. These were brilliant students, at the top of their classes, students with 1st class grades (if you know the school I am talking about, this is NOT an easy feat AT ALL), presumably solid Christians fell for psychological manipulation from their ‘Pastor’ to wait for Jesus in the bush. Many missed their exams and failed a whole year. When they were finally found in the bush by hunters after about 2 months, they were emaciated and acted like animals. In NIGERIA o! And people are here yarning dust about what they don’t know. Read the Bible for your self! The rule is follow me as I FOLLOW CHRIST. How do you know if someone is following Christ? Check their character against the Word of God. It is the only way to stand and grow in your faith. Come away from itching ears!!! I pray that you come to the knowledge of God in Christ Jesus for yourself.

    P.S. I am still waiting for Biodun’s robust response o! Lati last week! Buroda yiii!!!! E de beru Olorun!!! Hmmn! Jesu a ri ejo da o!

    • goldfinch

      August 31, 2013 at 3:25 pm

      I think I know the uni you are talking about. OAU?

    • bell dama

      September 9, 2013 at 4:30 pm

      yes it s OAU…i know this

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      August 31, 2013 at 11:49 pm

      gbam! Well said.

    • She's not a victim

      September 2, 2013 at 6:09 am

      She was finding her way to God in the hotel room, an adult sitting on a lap and doesn’t know what that means.. Yes it’s true she was taking advantage indeed… Please don’t confuse real victims with this! What they had must have been consensual, he forced to continue to go back to the hotel abi? Someone’s husband.. And she feels guilty now to everything but doesn’t feel the need to apologize to the wife. Please don’t make real victims feel stupid. If she was a virgin different case, she’s been there done dat and knew the consequences. I don’t attend coza and I am not a Christian! They both committed adultery and they sud be ashamed. Instead of looking for pity and setting the other party up.

    • Person

      September 2, 2013 at 3:23 pm

      I hate sanctimonious people. What does being an adult have to do with being a victim of abuse/manipulation? She’s admitted her fault. We are still waiting for Biodun’s robust response.

    • Inosendanyman

      September 20, 2013 at 1:30 pm

      stupid people like you continue to amaze me……am sure you did not read her article and if you read it and still did not comprehend it i pity you……cos you will never get wisdom again….now, to help you understand her story..she is not asking for pity oh, yes she was manipulated but she agreed she carried herself there so she is not absolving herself of the blame…..the issue here is THE MAN OF GOD STILL CLAIMING HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG AND STILL GIVING PEOPLE THE IMPRESSION THAT HE IS STILL HOLY AND HIS ACTIONS ARE HOLY……so please this is for people like you to learn and shine your eyes……stop elevating men of God to a pedestal where you do not know this God for yourself and anything they say goes…….if there was any award for brave woman of the year it should go to this Ese girl….well done

  11. C nayas chika

    August 31, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Ese am happy u hv freed ur mind…. Anoda tin z dat u hv also givn me a ground 2 b free too….god bless u 4 diz….

  12. Su

    August 31, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Pastors sha!!! Happens on d reg,they try to use spirituality to blackmail u,u go to church for salvation and they pick on u,God will expose them soon.Ese is brave though.

  13. Blacky

    August 31, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    I took the time to read your post and you have succeeded in confirming the opinion I formed about you. It was easy to tell that you are an attention seeker and yes, you got the attention of the gullible Nigerian populace. You played the victim, you told your story with sugar coated words and choose words which portrayed you as a vulnerable girl who was taken advantage of. Well done! However, I want you to know two things. First, your allegations are too strong to be a figment of your imagination or an exhibition of your creative abilities. You probably are feeling like a great story teller who knows how to utilize twists and suspense to get the attention you so desperately desire. But you should know that your allegations were about real people and the motive behind your story would be revealed in the nick of time.
    Secondly, as a lawyer I believe you know about the twin pillars of justice – both parties to a dispute should always be heard and you cannot be a judge in your own case. From your latest post, I believe that while your mates were reading to pass their bar exams, you were sowing your royal oaths and did not learn how it applies. Your allegation is still fresh in our minds and we haven’t heard from the other side. You have not even given sufficient evidence to support your case that silence from the other party means acceptance of your allegations. But you have acted like the judge and you feel you have had your final say. Well….no you haven’t. You have rushed to cover up things so that Nigerians who are quick to believe every/anything and even quicker to forget would believe your shabby explanation and move on. You forget that what you sow, you would most assuredly reap.
    Contrary to what any clown may think, you are a girl of no worth. I cannot even classify you as one of low self worth because it would give room for people to look at you as a mini hero which you are not by the way. Quit lying to yourself that you are an example to other girls who were abused. If you wanted to talk about abuse, you should have told the world about how your boyfriend in school used to beat you up. But no! You choose your story too well…a story that would catapult you to fame…a story that would give you the platform which Project Fame failed to give to you.
    If I had the faintest inclination to believe your story, these are my responses to you. I have maintained that if Pastor Biodun made advances to you, it would have been your place to dish out a few slaps and run away. As a believer which you claim that you are, you should have fled every appearance of evil. You were not cajoled neither were you forced. If your story is by any means true, you should know that the bible says temptations would always come….but woe unto him through which the temptations come. You continued in sin for over a week and you have the effrontery to tell us you were manipulated…..jisike! You went back to church and once you were not getting the attention you desperately craved after returning to Nigeria from your masters programme (as a London big girl), you decided to go to social media for them to mend your broken heart…..May twitter, blogs, facebook etc mend your heart….
    Ese, the damage you have done is not just to an individual….it is to the body of Christ….To the Christians who believe this is not an indictment, wake up! Are you not sick and tired of the vile of the evil one? Are you not tired of the branding which stories like this give us? Are you not tired of having stories like this which shift our focus from Christ to an individual? Are you not tired of being told that there is no difference between Christians and an unbelievers? Don’t we know that stories like this are a sign that the end is here? Can’t we see that men have become lovers of themselves more than they are lovers of God? Can’t we understand that this is a ploy to make the bride of Christ unprepared for his return? Can’t we see that the enemy would stop at nothing to ensure that he populates hell and depopulates Heaven?
    Ese, you took up a full time job by reading all the mails that were sent to you. I hope you will take up the same job when the truth is revealed….

    • dlapikin

      August 31, 2013 at 5:14 pm

      LOL You know the truth to be revealed because you are???… lol Church sheeps..

    • Iris

      August 31, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      “If your story is by any means true, you should know that the bible says temptations would always come….but woe unto him through which the temptations come. ” And the pastor nko? He’s not supposed to resist temptation either? Take several seats with your epistle abeg. Rubbish.

    • Flabbergasted

      August 31, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      You’re unfortunately delusional. I hope you are able to get treatment soon.

    • Nene Leakes

      September 1, 2013 at 2:14 am

      Wow Blacky, are you related to Pastor Biodun. I don’t think Ese claimed to be innocent. This girl as clearly come out to say she equally made a mistake by giving in. As christians we are not perfect. Peter sinned, Moses sinned, David sinned. But they were all able to accept their fault, confess their sins and continue living in grace. I believe that’s what Ese has done. The bible says we should confess our sins. Joyce Meyers stands on the pulpit and tells her congregation about her old life. She confesses her sin.
      Ese talking about her affair with this pastor dude as more than anything drawn attention to our relationship with Christ, who exactly we worship and/or idolize and more than anything helped all those women and men who have had the same experience to get some sort of closure and freedom from the shame and guilt they might have experienced or experiencing.

      Ese, WELL DONE! You had absolutely nothing to gain by telling the world how you slept with a married pastor with kids. Yet you managed to tell your story while still remembering God’s mercy, freedom, peace and glory.

    • 'Mide

      September 1, 2013 at 4:17 am

      Suddenly, and somehow the vulnerable and abused girl received magical powers that made her see the light. Clearly, in her script to the gullible Nigerians, she is their new saviour that has resolved to save the church from the abuse of its women by pastor -predators. Using just her mac book , she resolved to own the head nigga. Poor Biodun was owned dick and all. His dick would forever shrivel to oblivion in the sight of any church damsel if the church weathers the storm and continues to carry on.

    • 'Mide

      September 1, 2013 at 4:25 am

      And can we say up Ese ! The saintly saviour that cares for the human race and the women of the church. May the battery of your Mac book never go dead. Amen. May the world of activism continue to be yours. Amen. And move on to fight more corruption in high places. The men that love to terrorize women with their WMD are in trouble.

    • She's not a victim

      September 2, 2013 at 6:16 am

      Thank you Mide and Blacky!! She claimed she need to set her self free, and within one week of coming to social media she is free! That’s not her purpose of doing this!

    • KarmenSimms

      September 1, 2013 at 11:38 am

      May be this is the robust reply we’ve been expecting from the Church…I’m very sure u’re a member and got tired of waiting for your Church to compose the reply so u took it upon yourself…bitter much?!

    • bellmoi

      September 1, 2013 at 12:07 pm

      You are so right. Most nigerians are really cluless and its a shame how christians talk bad about fellow christians. We serve God. not man. Do you know how many christian souls this crazy scam has crushed?

    • Commenting!

      September 2, 2013 at 8:58 am

      @Blacky…May God reward you for your sensible talk….for you haters,you all talk with blasphemy because you speak ignorantly. The end is truly near and you have been caught up in this twist….d devil will use all his strategies to shift our focus from expecting His Coming. I do not know Pastor Biodun or Ese but i would concur with Blacky that Ese’s stories are attention-driven. A man would always be a man,as a woman you have the right to say NO! You went to school and no one brainwashed you like that example someone gave about the pastor from a Southwest Uni…(mind you,i went to that school too and i’ve heard the guy talked but when i communed with the Holy Spirit about it,He asked to flee from such a man)….A true christian would flee and if you fall (which I have done before) pick up my pieces and ask God for mercies to mend you back and do my best in ensuring younger ones don’t indulge themselves…imagine you are waiting for the Church Authority to call you(How Arrogant)!!! I love Christianity for ONE thing-TOLERANCE….we are most tolerant for any issue but remember Moses,Aaron and Miriam(his sister),God’s wrath does not consider family!

      Ese,hardly do you know it that you have succeeded in giving the unbelievers,the unsaved reasons not to believe in God’s servants and His words He speaks through them…who have the anointing but were not able to control their flesh. I am worried (especially your loved ones) that the end of your motive would not be good because all the so-called supporters of your stories would back off from you when that time comes….MARK THESE WORDS!!!

      God bless the Church….The Church of Christ shall match on and the gates of hell shall never prevail against HER irrespective of their strategies….

  14. dem

    August 31, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    @Blacky,as learned as you claimed to be , after reading ur epistle, i realised that you areone of those educated illiterTe. You are so myopic i n ur thinking.NOt much different from Femi FALANA. whatever happens , with your intelligence you never judge people. I guess you are one of the followerz of Coza,until your daughter brcomes a victim , u will understand that devil are in th church.Even, my GOD said judgement will start from the church. My dear no sin to the body of christ. Stop turning bible upside

  15. Diva

    August 31, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    @Blacky… Well done oh, Heaven’s PR Agent! Poor deluded thing, blaming Ese and the enemy as usual… Forgetting we are all accountable for our actions. My friend, please wake up! Talking thrash about ‘Christian and Unbelievers’ – is that what Jesus preached? In fact, Jesus hobnobbed with all sorts of people… Your righteousness in nothing but filthy rags, so keep being blinded by religion. Leave Ese and everyone else alone for God to judge and quietly keep your thoughts to yourself! Let God fight His battles and please: you all speaking on God’s behalf should just can it! On ‘THAT’ day, your eye go clear.

    PS. This is my first comment on here and I couldn’t help it… Some people don’t realize that this blinding religion issue is pandemic! #Hiss!

  16. Nikky

    August 31, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Is it possible her allegations are true? Absolutely!!! No be today, these kind things dey happen. Yes, I have heard stories similar to this, I have seen stuff like this.

    My problem with this girl and her write up is that she tried to paint a picture of a “victim”. Girl, you are not a victim. Women are sensitive and can always tell when a guy is into them even before anything happens. You knew this pastor was into you, it doesnt matter how you sugar coat. Accept your own mistakes and quit pushing the whole blame to the pastor. YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. “He told me to come to his room, i thought pastor. he told me to come sit down on his laps. i thot pastor but i went and sat. next thing we are going at it”…….lil girl, you are not a victim hon. You should have written this objectively, accepting your own mistakes. I have read another story like this where the girl did write objectively.

    I love us christians. Always quick to quote the bible passages that please us and neglect the ones that call us out. If you are gonna comment, be sure to objectively look at the stories. Did pastor do what he was accused of? I am sure he did (at least some of it). Is our dear Ese a victim? NOPE!. Its left to his church to either fire him or put him on administrative duty or “retreat” as most do.

    Until christians get to that place where they seek to know God for themselves and by themselves, to know him personally. Until they come to that place where they realize that Church/pastor/BISHOP etc is not GOD, Until you get to that point where you understand the meaning of “my children perish for ignorance”. QUIT PURSUING PASTORS AND CHURCHES AND PURSUE GOD. They are human and prone to the same things you go through. pursue God ooooooo

    • Omamofe Ugboma

      August 31, 2013 at 6:32 pm

      Thanks alot. You took the words out of my mouth.

    • jinkelele

      August 31, 2013 at 6:55 pm

      Did you read her posts at all – no victim play her. I suppose you think the fact that she said anything in public makes her present herself as a victim. Her coming out to talk shows this was not about her but a wake-up call to others doing the same and not looking for God for themselves but worship others even into sin.

    • iba

      September 1, 2013 at 9:22 pm

      Ese has never said she is not to blame. I have read both her articles twice and she is quite honest about the fact that she shares in the blame. I know Ese was not abused sexually because she said so and she was also given into temptation like her ex pastor. However i stand by the fact Ese was abused and manipulated by one in a higher authority who should have known better. What i always say is, if Mrs A told her doctor she has a sexual symptom and its later discovered to be something devastating and incurable. And Mr ITK doctor tells Mrs A’s husband for fear he may catch the disease, that is an abuse ot trust. It is the same for a lawyer/client and this will be applicable in a pastor/member relationship. Now i dont care if Ese waited by the gates of the hotel and dragged herself in. Her pastor by virtue of his privileged position, who perhaps may or may not have counseled her (thus knowing her strength and weakness) should have walked her out of the room. He is not super human of course, but he is a ”guardian, Shepard, care taker” (permit me colorful words) over the sheep God has given him. Like someone said, in this instance, he ATE THE SHEEP.
      I see Ese as a very brave young lady. Too many of us (me included) would have kept quiet in shame but she has broken the mold and has given people a voice. I see alot of people writing she is an attention seeker or her motive for exposing the pastor was wrong or even going as far as asking other ridiculous questions on her personal life. Me i don’t care about that, and neither should you. May her story teach us a lesson at the end of the day, we are mere mortals and ultimately our trust should rest solely on our maker.

      NB: i want to say this is my last on Ese Walter topic but something tell me i will always defend her online when i see people slamming her. oops

    • bellastrada

      September 2, 2013 at 9:05 am

      i rest my case.# Until they come to that place where they realize that Church/pastor/BISHOP etc is not GOD, Until you get to that point where you understand the meaning of “my children perish for ignorance”. QUIT PURSUING PASTORS AND CHURCHES AND PURSUE GOD. They are human and prone to the same things you go through. pursue God ooooooo#

  17. Timma

    August 31, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Only God knows the real truth and all I can say is when one is on D side of truth just stick to it no matter what,D truth will indeed set U free

  18. Iris

    August 31, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    There will always be people who call her names and will exhibit selective judgement and many of these people will be women. This story is likely going to die here whether or not COZA’s response will ever become ‘robust’ enough to be released We all know the kind of place we live in where chauvinism and adopting “religion” to the point of blindness prevail. All I can say is that this should be a warning to other women. The same God that people are using to fool you gave you a brain and made you in HIS image, not just the pastor’s. NO Spirit will ask you to go into a room with a man, pastor or not. If you wouldn’t do it for an ordinary man, don’t do it for a pastor. But I’m sure there are women who will have heard this story, insulted her, then tomorrow will follow the next pastor into his room or his remote office thinking “God’s anointed’ until you’re naked and beyond.

  19. No Long Thing

    August 31, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Cool story bro… But, did you really have to tell us that you were using a Macbook to type that piece?

    • Partyrider

      August 31, 2013 at 7:10 pm


    • jennietobbie

      August 31, 2013 at 10:13 pm

      Hot story sis, since you are so smart, you should have researched more to know why. Don’t you think? Maybe find out where bellanaija got this excerpt from. Does she have a blog? You’re welcome.!

  20. Ladyijd

    August 31, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    All these peeps saying she is looking for fame should try to be a little bit more objective. She tried Xfactor and failed does not mean she saw this as a means to become a celebrity. From her write ups it is clear she is well educated, informed and deep. Ese Walters knows that Nigerians are not going to give her a pat on the back or ask for her autograph after these personal and shocking revelations. she is aware that she will not be offered her own reality show or talk show or even a spot on Tinsle so which fame are u guys on about. abet make una wake up. even if you don’t believe her quit the shallow thinking.

  21. Partyrider

    August 31, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    She made some valid points though..

  22. paulmirabilis

    August 31, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    @Blacky: thanks so much for that comment;you just spoke my mind. The attention-seeking whore should just stop this rubbish.

    • KarmenSimms

      September 1, 2013 at 11:43 am

      Wow! More name calling…how mature…bitter much?!

  23. Bemused

    August 31, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    Interesting. Both parties are to blame and it seems like they actually deserve each other. Is that a photo of ‘the victim’ in the article – nearly naked in a studio shot? Looks like she’s milking the publicity for all it’s worth. Lord have mercy on us all. I have long learnt that many of the people who complain the most about pastors and the rot in the church are not willing to live the Christian life either. It is so true that people get the leaders they deserve.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      August 31, 2013 at 11:50 pm

      lol…nearly naked. You wan make she wear trouser…no wait…women are not allowed to wear trousers…yikes

    • Bemused

      September 1, 2013 at 11:25 am

      You said it, dear. Not me. Doesn’t matter what she wears as long as she is decently covered up. Be honest. Isn’t that what we all expect from those who claim to be Christians? By their fruits we shall know them indeed. I agree that most pastors are corrupt but apparently most people don’t want to hear the truth so the flock have gotten the leaders they deserve.

    • GodHaveMercy

      September 3, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      I agree with you….Christains are suppose to dress with modesty so the Bible says

  24. teetee

    August 31, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    God bless you blacky…these people will believe anything…rubbish!!

  25. jasmine beau

    August 31, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    God have mercy on us all,happy for your peace of mind,ese.

  26. Anonymous

    August 31, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    @Blacky, well said. May God, richly bless you. Let Ese Walter, or, whatever the attention seeking girl, calls herself, carry on with her devilish mandate. God, will surely uphold his church, against all odds. Ese, please, let Jesus come into your life.

  27. Beauty

    September 1, 2013 at 12:40 am

    @Person 2008 law skl set Bwari abi? i thot i recognized Ese, d girl is sha dramatic, God help us all.

  28. Rukky

    September 1, 2013 at 4:03 am

    @ ‘God will surely uphold His church against all odds’ if u read Ese’s article well,nor be dis same thing she dey talk so? For pple to know God for themselves and for the Men of God to sincerely take care of the ones God has entrusted to them instead of leading them to sin?? Nawa for some pple o,isn’t it d same article we read,where do u guys get ur own interpretations from??? Ese never played d victim,she never absolved herself from wrong,she only exposed wat these socalled pastors do with d aim of only 2tins,saving more women from falling into dis and for d pastors to check their lives and let d church of God be wat its meant to that person calling her an attention seeking whore,u sabi call names well well,so wat do u call a socalled man of God also doing wat he preaches about in church?? Like it or not,Ese has addressed an all too common happening in our churches today,d sooner u guys realise dat and stop being so appallingly selfrighteous,d better for us all.Look deeply into d issues she has raised,dats wat we should solve..though we could also look for a way to solve ur childish habit of calling people names too sha,u could actually be no better than her,and I dare say she is better than u cuz she has found herself and she’s not calling u silly names like u do her even though u claim to be a christian and want d church of God to conquer against all odds#just saying

  29. honeymix

    September 1, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    Pls o. My own is dat @person,i never heard of the story o.the gist is not complete, pls gimme gist na. I also finished from OAU 3 years ago, thats if it is OAU sha.

    • bell dama

      September 9, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      lol @honeymix, what did u spend ur years doin in ife then if u ddnt hear the gist? oh i forgot u weren’t sooo into fellowship ish…ping me 4 the gist….

  30. Amirah

    September 1, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    Nigerians HATE transparency and be exposed. This is not the first time and definitely not the last that a so called pastor or minister abuse leadership, where he manipulates and uses God to cover up. Its sad to see people curse this lady out because she spoke out about a sensitive topic that many will like to brush under the bed. I don’t know this lady personally but her story is not far from the truth. And of course, his response will be full of denial. Women are not 100% innocent but time to address these married men who go behind their wives back and chase after younger girls. Lets address pastors or minsters who use their power/money to manipulate women and use God to cover up. Lets address how people are Always quick to defend the me. And say that’s how men are, almost condoning their irresponsible behavior. Lets also address easily gullible women who fall for these type of me whether for love or money. Lets also address these wives who blame the other woman for their husband’s irresponsibility. Lets also address how church seem to not hold these ministers accountable for their actions. So many things to talk
    about than reigning insults on this lady for speaking out about an IMPORTANT issue in the church and society.

    • 'Mide

      September 2, 2013 at 2:28 am

      Na so e easy? Men will be men. Whether dey be pastor o, president o, or lecturer. Wetin you need to address na level playing ground for men and women. Ese has that. She has in her wisdom singlehandedly decided to ruin a church that is about families, faith and salvation because of a figure head that she decided she wanted a taste of his dick to pleasure herself. Of course they were both pleasured in the process. She is not been persecuted or rushed to a jail, after all she is lawyer and independent woman that lives her life and makes her own decision. There is no transparency here. This is attention seeking woman that is out for some internet business to live a lifestyle she feels entitled to. A macbook is getting her that lifestyle and notoriety well enough. Amirah, abeg make we hear word.

    • Colour Purple

      September 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      Wow! Men will be men right? More power to you, all the terrible behaviour that you think its normal for men to display, you will receive from the men in your life since you think its normal…KMT!!

  31. hope

    September 1, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Ese thanks for your write up.I learnt.
    Even a non christain without any idea of what the bible says would not roll for a week except they want it.
    I am sure your mum thought you better.Anyway i,’ve learnt.
    i like your exhortation.

  32. Timmy tim

    September 2, 2013 at 12:05 am

    whatever this chick!

  33. Blessing Alexandra

    September 2, 2013 at 5:37 am

    True repentance is when we acknowledged our sin, confesses them, makes reparation, and decide to them no more. Ese, you demonstrated true repentance and I know our Heavenly Father will surely see you through. Thanks for speaking out. May God bless you.

  34. Lecker

    September 2, 2013 at 9:20 am

    “I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves”. I love you babes and thank you so very much indeed for this one nugget.

  35. Bishop

    September 2, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    Ok so the learning point? Never hit a lady for a week and stop talking to her. Especially if you’re a married man.

    Ese, i hope you have apologized to the Pastors wife?


      September 3, 2013 at 5:39 pm

      apologise to pastor’s wife ke? thats not important o
      since she was ‘abused’ and needs to be free from ‘guilt’ through the internet cos that where God now resides
      we can not confess our sins to God in our closet and be free from sin anymore according to madam victim. mtscheeew.

    • dayo

      September 16, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      You are very right, who knows her true intentions.

  36. Bemused

    September 2, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    I agree that a lot of these pastors are real creepy and manipulative. Some time ago, I went through serious challenges and a pastor approached me offering to counsel and stand with me in prayer through it all. Next thing I knew, he would attend the counseling sessions without a shirt on. When I asked why, he said that it was hot and he wanted ‘breeze’. I firmly and politely told him to put and keep on his shirt else I could not continue with any such meetings. Reluctantly, he did so eventually. At the time I thought, well nobody is perfect, maybe it was just a mistake. However, I soon began to notice little things that were really ‘off’ about this pastor’s conduct. For instance, he had a terrible temper and would keep malice over petty issues. I’m talking about things like me correcting him based on the scriptures when he shared opinions that were not biblical. I soon came to the conclusion that his congregation obviously grovelled at his feet and so he did not expect to be challenged or held accountable by anyone – least of all little me. The last straw was when he asked me for a favour and I said that I wasn’t able to assist. Wow, this pastor who claimed that God had instructed him to stand with me in prayer stopped answering my phonecalls. I thank God for the experience and continue to tackle my issues alone. Meanwhile if you saw this pastor preaching you would think he was so mature. He is even one of those who expose fake churches and complain about corruption in religious circles. I am saying this so that people exercise utmost caution when dealing with pastors and also make sure that they themselves are not doing the same things they condemn in others. It’s a very sad state of affairs but the truth is that many are called but few are chosen. Not all who scream ‘Lord, Lord’ are sincere Christians.

  37. Simple

    September 2, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Go on Ese, post more pictures of yourself! You have arrived in the limelight…go on, girl. But remember, whatever goes up, must come down. Get your publicity…enjoy it…it’s a matter of time. This carefully crafted publicity strategy is such a S-H-A-M-E !

  38. 'Mide

    September 2, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    @Colour Purple, please I respect the idea that men should be faithful. But I used the phrase on the idea of many powerful men that have fallen because of sexual impropriety and the empirical evidence that suggests men are easily aroused and are more likely to initiate sexual relations unlike women who seem to have greater ability to exercise control over their bodies. That said, I think more men than women would initiate sex because of physical pleasure than emotional interest. I recognise we can argue about the religious and biblical obligations, still it is important to acknowledge the human and biological conditioning involved amongst the sexes. I hope that clears up your surprise or exclamation.

  39. 'Mide

    September 2, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    And that said also, I noticed Ese Walters is having a ball on twitter. She sure has a quick turn around and she is much smarter than we give her credit for.

    • Juba

      September 3, 2013 at 8:18 am

      Abeg free the babe. She can’t tweet anymore cos pastor biodun bouts reply hasn’t finished final review and proofread? Only God knows the truth. Olorun nikan lo mo eyin oro

  40. Niajaperson

    September 3, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    Ese sorry about all that you claim you going through. My own advice to you, YOU ARE NOT GOD. Even if Pastor Biodun is guilty of all the claims, You are not God to judge the case. Remember, you are sooo guilty too. All this media story is really not needed, you are not the first person to be abused by a pastor if the story is true and you will not be the last ( this world is polluted). Advice for you, leave all this media story and return to your maker(God) and re-dedicate yourself back to God. Ask for His mercy and ask for a new beginning. Don’t allow your so called fans deceive you, they truly are not there for you, you are just entertaining them all. You have give the world what to gossip about. As a true believer the bible says we should stay away from rubbish talk, now the whole Nigeria are involved in rubbish talk instead on working out their salvation. ESE GET OFF MEDIA AND WORK OUT YOUR SALVATION AND LET GOD BE THE JUDGE, LEAVE VENGEANCE TO GOD. THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME, YOU CAN INVEST THIS TIME ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. REMEMBER WHILE YOU DEY REPLY ALL THIS RUBBISH FANS EMAIL, GOD CAN COME AT ANY TIME AND IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE TO TRULY REPENT. HEAVEN IS REAL, HELL IS REAL. PREACH THE GOSPEL TO BRING PEOPLE CLOSER TO GOD AND NOT PULL THEM AWAY FROM CHRIST. USE YOUR CURRENT SITUATION AS AN AVENUE TO HELP YOUNG WOMEN IN SITUATIONS LIKE YOURS. YOU ARE NOT AN HERO YET UNTIL YOU CONTROL YOURSELF AND BE MORE MATURE ABOUT THIS. BE WISE, SEEK GOD FOR WISDOM. GOD HELP YOU oooo.

  41. jcsgrl

    September 3, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    My primary concern is that due to how this story has died a slow death like I predicted, another abusive leader or pastor in authority will manipulate another young woman with these words, “Remember what happened to Ese Walters. Everybody bashed her and nobody believed her story. I won’t say anything and the whole thing will die down in a few days. The same thing will happen if you dare speak about our affair.” sighs

  42. GodHaveMercy

    September 3, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    Hmm, it’s only God that know the true story! Everybody involve in kind of situation…God is watching you all o…you better repent now. Turn to God o…the only true & righteous person.

  43. Lorenz

    September 3, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Why kiss an tell? Forget manipulation, as far as I’m concerned, it was mutual. The only person that needs to know what happened between both of them is GOD. She won’t get closure from telling the whole world what she’s done; she’ll only get fame: Cheap fame. Welldone Ese, now I know your name.

  44. Anonymous

    September 3, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    hmmm… never want to comment on this topic before, but decide to comment just because of those pple defending the pastor. I be u all will be Ese if what happened to her has happened to u before. Have had a similar experience b4, but it was just once. I felt so guilty dat I cnt stand the man of God whenever i see him ,but funny enough he will still go on to the pulpit and preach. I stopped calling talking to him. he never for once ask me why i stopped talking him. He’s out there living his life, acting like nothing happened. I didn’t realize wat I did until I got home. I still live wt d guilt up till now. I feel sad n super guilty any time i see dis particular man of God.

    • Niajaperson

      September 3, 2013 at 9:22 pm

      I totally understand where you coming from @ Anonymous…but life moves on. Don’t live in guilt because of what someone did to you. Life moves on, you need to forgive the person and yourself unless you will remain bitter for the rest of your life. As you said the Pastor still goes on with his life, He has MOVED on. Ladies we should stop acting like VICTIMS, Rise up, brush off the past and MOVE ON WITH CHRIST. Alot of women have gone through this. Atleast Ese wasn’t raped, what will a lady raped by several men do. Abeg no self pity, build up Self- Control. Stop looking for people to pity you, no matter how sad your story might sound, pick yourself up. I am speaking from experience, i was once in a situation like this, until i heard the truth too.

  45. Anonymous

    September 3, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    Anonymous September 3, 2013 at 7:02 PM hmmm… never want to comment on this topic before, but decide to comment just because of those pple defending the pastor. I bet u all will believe Ese if what happened to her has happened to u before. Have had a similar experience b4, but it was just once. I felt so guilty dat I cnt stand the man of God whenever i see him ,but funny enough he will still go on to the pulpit and preach. I stopped talking to him after the incidence but he never for once ask me why i stopped talking him. He’s out there living his life, acting like nothing happened. I didn’t realize wat I did until I got home. I still live wt d guilt up till now. I feel sad n super guilty any time i see dis particular man of God. Ese thanks for speaking out!

  46. hope

    September 5, 2013 at 8:10 pm


  47. hope

    September 5, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    OK.I’M not supporting the pastor if this is true.At least christains should begin to be more disciplined.if not disgrace is wating around the corner .

  48. bell dama

    September 9, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    *reads story….lips sealed*…sees this “When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog” *looooooooooooooooooool*….like seriosly!!!?

  49. libra

    September 11, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    there is more to this story in a way…she kinda like d pastor i guess… because u weren’t under a spell before u had anything to do with him…i feel there is still something she is hiding

  50. anonymous

    September 16, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    I don’t think she prayed for God’s wisdom before coming out with such a story, she wasn’t under any spell when she met him at the hotel so immediately she should have left and by the way her picture doesn’t show she’s repentant at all. There are better and more matured ways she could have handled this whole thing if it’s actually true. Generally speaking when you go to a pastors office you find out that there are more ladies waiting to see the pastor and some of them are not even well dressed, we should not forget that these pastors are also human beings like us, do we even know if it’s the other way round and Ese tried to seduce the pastor, we should not be quick to condemn as we have only heard her part of the story and she’s capitalizing on the fact that we would believe her cos other pastors do it well I have heard of actual cases where most ladies go to see pastors in their offices with the intention of seducing them. Well as for me I feel the pastor should ignore her and the church should move on.

  51. victor

    September 17, 2013 at 12:24 am

    Well. this is a very delicate matter cos is concerning an anointed man. Remember David never condemned Saul despite all he did. we av only heard from Ese( GODS Grace) . Dont judge until we hear from both parties. let God be the Judge. Men of God are human too sister Ese and friends. this thing happen almost in everychurch and minitry.I will fault you in what you did by disgracing the Gods anointed on social media.You can ask God for mercy without going on social media. The comments from bloggers cannot forgive sin neither will sorry from blogger washed sin. Sister Ese God is not angry with you. He loves you just like He love Christ. Since you have talked to pastor flo in lagos then you would have move on seek help from outside that ministry. pastor are human. please
    my sister ask God for mercy concerning your pastor and pray for him. He don’t need to admit before you feel ok. forget about his side and focus on you. weather he admit or he doesnt. move on and live for christ. may be God is using this situation to help Him. Let Go and move on, but remember dont try top bring a man of God down cos God will judge you for that. love your Pastor as Christ loved you and pray for him. who knows God is giving you a responsible in his house.I will not blame you or him but is time to run the race that is set before you. You know what Ese God has forgiven you both. He is God talk Him and let Him handle everything. your man of God talked about greater Grace. he is right. there is Greater Grace in God. He knows about it. l am not saying we take God for granted. But. He love us most that’s why its so. love you Ese and bloggers. lets live in His grace and keep having fellowship with God through His WORD AND THE HOLYSPIRIT.AND FORGET NOT GO CHURCH. UNTIL THEN KEEP LIVING IN AND ATMOSPHERE OF GODS GREATER GRACE. pls forgive errors. I am not as good as Ese.

  52. worldholidaysdreamland

    April 30, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    “I Really Didn’t Expect Anyone to Believe Me”. Believe is something which can’t be expected.

  53. the girl

    February 1, 2016 at 8:35 am

    Girl, bye. Sorry your God’s was mentioned

  54. KC

    July 1, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    I have been reading up past articles of Ese Walters… I remember when her story first broke out. I NEVER doubted her for a min because her account was real, raw! People who came after her then failed to ask themselves why anyone in their right-minds would come out and expose her shame to the whole world, and yet still brand her a liar. It was her shame, her struggle, her darkest secrets that she exposed… knowing how much she would be judged. She wasn’t even married at the time! Today she has been vindicated, and has now won over so many who doubted her to start with. This life eh… the lessons we learn everyday no be for here…It took 6 years, in those years she went from sever abuse by people online, a broken marriage because of how broken she was by the ‘church’ who were more interested in protecting their pastor, and finally loosing her faith and becoming an atheist because the one place that should have helped in her healing process, shunned her and left her to the wolves (even after knowing she told the truth). This one loss in Christs kingdom may have been the reason for the current earth quake being felt in the body of Christ and indeed by Biodun Fatoyinbo… Christ is not happy 1 sheep was lost, after all we know he would have left the 99 to go after the 1 that had gone astray. Be you Christian, muslim, Bhudist, Aethist… one thing is clear sha… there’s something we should all be wary of… Karma, the law of ‘what goes around comes around’, the law of ‘you shall reap what you sow’… They are real and will come for you one way or another when you are found wanting. I believe God isn’t done with Ese Walters and will bring her back to the flock in due time.

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