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Nneze Eluka: Dos & Don’ts of Handling Rejection



So, you didn’t get that promotion at work, or maybe you didn’t get into medical school, or you’ve finished your degree and made your parents super-proud, but still haven’t found a job. Or perhaps, your self-esteem could use a boost, especially after making that brave life decision that isn’t quite working out as you had imagined. Whatever the case might be, here are a few dos and don’ts of dealing with rejection.

Do Get ready to Climb
Of all the successful people I know and have read about, success did not come easy for them. Look it up for yourself. From musicians (Mary J. Blige) to talk show hosts (Oprah) to movie directors (Tyler Perry), to world-renowned physicians (Dr. Ben Carson), they all had to work hard. They did not give up, instead, they persisted and kept pushing forward. So…you may not have secured that entry level position at your dream company; no worries, start as an intern, then move up.

Do Get Your hands Moving Everyday
In this fast-paced 21st century, we are equipped with tons of information at our fingertips, literally. So, start dialing, texting, composing emails, editing your resume, organizing your portfolio, etc. Do a little research everyday so that you won’t feel overwhelmed, but be consistent.

Don’t be Perfect, Be a perfectionist
You may not be perfect, surprise surprise…no one is! BUT you can definitely aim for perfection. When it comes to chasing your dreams, be meticulous and pay close attention to detail. For example, always address the person you’re emailing with the correct title, and please use spell-check.

Do Believe in Your Faith and Fate
During my 2007 summer at Yale, I met a teaching assistant who told us that he was almost a high school dropout. I found it difficult to believe, seeing that he was nearing the completion of his PhD at Yale. I’m a firm believer that each one of us has a purpose in life. Sometimes though, we allow one disappointment to define who we are, simply because we cannot see the complete picture. Bet on yourself, trust your faith, and oh, believe that what is truly yours will get to you. Besides, if you quit now, what stories would you tell when you your dreams come true?

 Do Script Your Own Reality
While you may thoroughly enjoy watching your favorite reality t.v. show, someone who is not familiar with the show may not find it interesting. In the same way, people who know you, already know how (presumably) awesome you are. However, someone who does not know you, in a pool of other applicants, probably needs to be convinced to pick you. So, before you begin networking at the cocktail party, the annual company holiday dinner, school fair—plan what you would say, and always have something to offer. Whether or not you want to anticipate what the other person might say- that’s completely up to you.

Don’t Accept defeat
A few years ago, I came across an anonymous quote. It went like this- “falling down doesn’t make you a loser, but staying down does”. So, when you fall, pick yourself up and keep moving. After all, nobody knows tomorrow. And, that person saying “no” to you today might be begging for your time and attention tomorrow.

Do Take a Sneak Peek
What ever dream you’re chasing, make sure that what you imagine is actually what it is in reality. For example, if you want to be an emergency room physician, go ahead and shadow one. If after that experience you swear to stay away from blood —be happy, because you’ve saved yourself time, money and years of regret. However, if you loved the experience and can’t wait to go back again, kudos!

Do Be Happy
We all have that one friend who seemingly has everything, but somehow somehow always has something to complain about. Get the picture? Now, don’t be that person! Happiness does not mean that you have everything, are exactly where you want to be, or that everything is going as you planned. No, happiness is more of a state of mind, and it is quite liberating! Instead of mortgaging your happiness until you get that car or fit into those skinny jeans or be a CEO, be happy where you are. Go out with friends, see a movie, etc. Smile, and take care.

Photo Credit:

Nneze is a trained nutritionist and biologist. She graduated from North Carolina State University. In her free time, she loves to play tennis, walk her dog and practice yoga. She is addicted to traveling, and trying new foods.


  1. Busola Obayomi

    December 8, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Wonderful Piece! Right on point. Rejection is not defeat
    but a moment of reflection and get back on track. I love it. Thanks
    for sharing.

  2. me

    December 8, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Tanx Nnezeni learnt alot

  3. Slimzy Jackson

    December 8, 2013 at 10:15 am

    Thanks for these tips. Indeed they’ll be helpful.

  4. DocDeola

    December 8, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Just what I needed. Thanks.

  5. CarliforniaBawlar

    December 8, 2013 at 10:56 am

    Besides, if you quit now, what stories would you tell when
    you your dreams come true?…….. Thanks BN!!!

  6. Thelma

    December 8, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Great advice. Just what I needed for the coming week.
    Thanks Nneze.

  7. Shona

    December 8, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Amazing write up…It brighthened my

  8. Confidence

    December 8, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Very true, educative and inspiring too

  9. Bogho El

    December 8, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Nneze, this is a wonderful piece. Great tips! So proud of you sis 🙂

  10. Nonye

    December 8, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Tanks for dis word of inspiration,is so inspiring,

  11. frances

    December 8, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    So inspiring.thanks for this and yes,I’ll be happy!

  12. Emmanuel

    December 8, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    Quite an intresting piece from Nneze! Highly commendable.
    Nne jisiike.

  13. Adaku Hendrix

    December 8, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    Wow , beautiful Article , right on point…….i will love toread more of your article .

  14. nene

    December 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    if u r a perfectionist, it’s really hard for you to handle rejection.

    • Blessmyheart

      December 9, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      So true.

  15. India Eche

    December 8, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Very interesting and I can relate to the stress that every rejection brings on ,after all we all want to be accepted and not rejected regardless of the area in life ….

  16. akay

    December 8, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Good one Nneze! You definitely hit the nail.

  17. Ify

    December 9, 2013 at 12:14 am

    Well said Nneze, this is such a great piece. Like Bogho said we r proud of u. Keep it up girl

  18. Leah

    December 9, 2013 at 1:30 am

    *Yale* Nice one!

  19. Adeleke

    December 9, 2013 at 9:13 am

    Awesome article Nneze!

  20. 2X

    December 9, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Wow you have just addressed every inch of me at my present state. Thanks for the write up…sure picking myself up.

  21. tmc

    December 9, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    excellent article

  22. @ify_eva

    January 11, 2014 at 1:20 am

    Wow, I like!

  23. Valerie

    March 28, 2014 at 2:56 am

    I love the fact that you wrote this straight from your heart Nneze. God will certainly make all your dreams come. Don’t forget to give all the glory to him though. Love you Cuz!

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