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Mz Chizzy: Loving The One Who Got Away

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Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away” is one helluva sad song. In the video, Katy, with her deep wrinkles, weathered skin and white-washed hair, is a sad old woman who aches over the love she lost in her youth. Both of them were truly, madly and deeply in love…Jack-and-Rose-kind-of-love and then the worst thing that could possibly happen, happened. The dude died in a car wreck after a fight and Katy was never the same afterwards. You should watch the video…thank me later.

For so many of us though, ‘the one who got away’ didn’t get away because death happened. No. They got away because of certain circumstances that were totally beyond your control. They got away because you weren’t of the same religious denomination. They got away because the timing was all shades of wrong. They got away because you both had the same genotype – AS. They got away because…life is just not fair.

Admit it or not, we have all been cursed with the experience of losing someone we were once certain would hold value in our lives forever…that one person that will always have our heart…the one we envisioned marrying, living with and growing old together with…the person that you could have and should have ended up with but didn’t… that person you remember with a wistful sigh and wish everyday that things ended differently.
With this person, everything was great, everything was perfect, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way. Even after 2, 5, 10 years of dating or marrying someone else, you still think ‘one who got away’ is/was The One and the only true love of your life. When you accomplish a big feat and celebrating with friends, you suddenly remember him/her and wish he/she was there to celebrate with you.

As much as it sucks, truth is ‘the one that got away’ will literally never go away. He/she is someone that you will forever regret. They will always pop up at inopportune moments in your life. Deal with it. Make do with your second-best and stop making comparisons.
A school of thought would argue that ‘settling’ for second-bests is probably the singular reason for the inflated rate of divorce…*big sigh* if only ‘the one that got away’ never got away.

So how exactly did the one that got away, get away? What could you have done differently? Has your life changed for better or for worse? Would you gladly leave your current partner if given the chance? Do share!

Photo Credit: wifefinder.skyrock.com
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MzChizzy is the writer behind bottleforthepain.wordpress.com. She thinks for a living. She can simultaneously be the nicest and meanest person you’d ever meet. She loves fufu more than life itself and hates taking pictures with a passion. Follow her on Twitter @Mzz_Chizzy ‘cos you won’t find her on Instagram.

MzChizzy is the writer behind bottleforthepain.wordpress.com. She thinks for a living. She can simultaneously be the nicest and meanest person you’d ever meet. She loves fufu more than life itself and hates taking pictures with a passion. Follow her on twitter @Mzz_Chizzy ‘cos you won’t find her on Instagram.

68 Comments

  1. njideka

    April 19, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Ok the one who got away isn’t the one that was meant for me,yeah he pops into my head everynow and then but all I feel is a deep sense of gratitude to him,cos if he didn’t treat me wrong,i wouldn’t know how being treated right would look like,if he didn’t walk out on me and leave me broken hearted, I wouldn’t have found the love of my life… so(the one who got away) thanks for going away and breaking my heart cos if u didn’t I won’t have found the true me and found my love

  2. chicadimples

    April 19, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    sigh….
    lemme just save the story for another day but it hurts, yeah really deep down it hurts.

  3. Interesting Piece! Loving the one who got away could be disastrous I think!

  4. iyke

    April 19, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    I can perfectly relate to the ‘One that got away …… thoughts that present themselves …… that belong only to ME. Thoughts that birth expressions and reactions that sting and stimulate the senses …. desire…and considered contemplation.
    But I will share …..; My case, she was everything. In fact, she was the part of me that I aspired to be …… imagine that! Then came the shocker …… we both are AS ……. hopes shattered …… dreams derailed ….. relationship ended and became toxic.
    How did I move on? HEAL!!
    Much as LOVE IS FAR FROM ALL WE NEED, we have to keep believing and falling in love with LOVE because nothing else in life is more satisfying ….. invigorating or able to set your soul and spirit ….on fire but LOVE!
    Happy Easter Holiday Folks!

  5. Anon

    April 19, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    I got pregnant, I vehemently didn’t want the baby because I wasn’t ready and he was going through a messy divorce, he wanted the baby anyway. I lost the baby because of this stress, coupled with the fact that he was away for 6 months and I had problems at work. He thinks till date that I willed the baby away, and maybe even aborted and lied about it. How do you pick up the pieces after that?

  6. D

    April 19, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Good topic but your writing style can be greatly improved on, less over generalization next time. You may have had that experience and concluded that’s how everyone sees it. Wrong! This should be solely from your perspective with assumptions that ppl can relate to your experience. Your advice at the end is equally off as well…….it may surprise that there are ppl out there who have the capacity to completely let go of this kind of love, after all there is still a reason it didn’t work out, and are thus able to move on to a greater love and not settle for ‘second best’. It is a thing of the mind. A key to letting go is that one should focus on the positives and not on regret and acknowledge that the said person was meant to be in your life for only a season. How did this person make you better etc?

    • Sazzyt

      April 19, 2014 at 11:35 pm

      D!!! Well said!

  7. Akubeze

    April 19, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Ok. So I ended my r/ship with this guy and few weeks later, I started chatting with his friend. (my ex friend). I know people thought it was wrong. I had no feelings fr him then. We were just friends. Then days, months passed we chatted. Feeling grew… And all of a sudden he just stopped calling and answering bbm. God knows he was a nice person, and a bestie. The timing was wrong. Hurts once in awhile. Wish I could have known the reason why he stopped communicating.
    I’m married now with a son. Happier though….but there’s still a BUT….lol

  8. iyke

    April 19, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    I can perfectly relate to the ‘One that got away …… thoughts that present themselves …… that belong only to ME. Thoughts that birth expressions and reactions that sting and stimulate the senses …. desire…and considered contemplation.
    But I will share …..; My case, she was everything. In fact, she was the part of me that I aspired to be …… imagine that! Then came the shocker …… we both are AS ……. hopes shattered …… dreams derailed ….. relationship ended and became toxic.
    How did I move on? Much as LOVE IS FAR FROM ALL WE NEED, we have to keep believing and falling in love with LOVE because nothing else in life is more satisfying ….. invigorating or able to set your soul and spirit ….on fire but LOVE!
    Happy Easter Holiday Folks!

    • slice

      April 20, 2014 at 6:10 am

      selective abortion?

    • iyke

      April 23, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      No need for that. Am pro lifer!

  9. Anonymous

    April 19, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Lovely article. My “the one who got away” ended just like Katys about 3yrs ago and i swear i havent ever seen anyone like him since he passed on. I still cant stop comparing because once in a while when i meet a guy and he does sth i dont like, i always feel like, i wont be treated this way if he was still here. Time does heal. I thank God for strength. I’m a much better person now though. Continually rest in peace Onyeka.

  10. Eclectic

    April 19, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Very true. Its situations like this that me do everything I can and should when necessary, speak my mind and swallow my pride so that if it should happen that I have to let go, I can tell myself “I tried” but circumstances were beyond my control. And it becomes easier to deal with and I dont go longing for what what COULD have been and enjoy WHAT IS

  11. Commentrina

    April 19, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    I’ve been married for 9years and the one that got away still holds my heart and soul firmly in his grasp. I still get breathless when I hear his name.

    He shakes me to my core. I see him and everything changes from black and white to living colour. I have maybe 47 different laughs when he’s near me. His voice turns my insides to unrecognisable mush. A simple text from him is like a vitamin boost for the rest of my day. I could stand and watch paint dry…as long as it’s with him.

    I die a little whenever I remember the chain of events that made us not be together. I have been in love with this negro for 10years, 3 months and 19days. I love my husband in a certain dear and deep way. But the one that got away? He is my true owner.

    Please don’t judge me. For I have already judged myself. And sentenced myself. To this thirsty life I will continue to live.
    #ParkAvenue #Done

    • mizz curly

      April 19, 2014 at 8:21 pm

      awwww!!! i dont,,,,,i just.,.,.,*sighs*!! hugss darling

    • Phobelove

      April 20, 2014 at 8:01 am

      Commentrina, I feel u dear.. Been holding this inside for almost 6 years now and the thought of not having him still breaks my heart, although am happily married, I stopped all form of communication with him, so I don’t get distracted in anyway.
      Well, life sucks, I will just have to live with it for the rest of my life.

    • Fashionista

      April 21, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      I can’t judge you, for I am you.

    • Sunshine

      April 22, 2014 at 6:41 pm

      Hugs and kisses. I feel you sooo much. In between BN, why do we need to re- enter our details to leave a new comment or am I the only one terrorised by BN?

    • Serendipity

      April 22, 2014 at 10:30 pm

      Sunshine, not only do we need to re-enter our details b4 we leave a comment, sometimes even after ‘comment awaiting moderation’, said comment never shows up. BN, worisgoingon?

    • Swish

      April 24, 2014 at 11:04 pm

      This your comment got me all mushy ,emotionally . My sister you are trying O…Pls what happened?

  12. Gorgeous

    April 19, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    I am always the one that got away. Hehe. I don’t miss anyone that much mehn. Because if we were so in love and broke up, then it wasn’t meant to be. With time I see all their flaws and thank my stars and totally turn off. When I see them in future it’s like looking at wood.

  13. Lol

    April 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    He’s getting married next weekend, to a beautiful lady who was born on the same day as me. I remember that day after church, you were with your friends and I with my cousins over from UK on hols, I knew immediately you were important. Your rich deep voice, your clever head, I loved you with my head and heart till it ached. I was a coward, love called but I dulled my ears, I stilled my heart but I have to live, yet you are everywhere and nowhere, you are 5mins away from Whitechapel but we couldn’t be further apart. She is so beautiful and smart, I couldn’t be prouder, I am so happy because I know she will make you happy. There’s no sadness here, just a dull ache, a wound that won’t heal.

    • onye Ara

      April 21, 2014 at 10:01 am

      The wound will not heal because you don’t want it to.

  14. AfroFab

    April 19, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    I actually thought about this for a moment, I may be one of the few that actually DONT have one that got away. I married my high school sweetheart and before that, I never really dated anyone who I ever thought will always be in my life. That being said, as I get older, my single friends have more and more of those stories. There is that one guy who may have been the one but now is just a distant memory.

  15. Lovelorn

    April 19, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    At least people, who were in relationships have an excuse for holding on. What excuse do I have for holding on to someone I was never in a relationship with? Its been a year and I am still madly in love with him. Even as I have not seen or spoken to him all this while. As much as I love him, I long for the day, I would wake up and realise that I feel nothing for him. I am tired of the mixed feelings that come with thinking of him constantly. I really want to move on from this, but it seems I am mentally imprisoned……..It gets as bad as mentioning his name when I intended to mention someone else’s……Oh dear… I am thinking of seeing a therapist.

    • Me

      April 19, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      Wow … This sounds like me!! Sometimes i just wish i could scan my brain and delete everything that has him in it!! SIGH!

    • omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com

      April 19, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      Why can’t you tell him how you feel? Is he in a relationship/married or you are just too embarrassed to tell him? If he’s unattached why don’t to speak up….though by now you may have crossed into the friend zone.

  16. Amiee

    April 19, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    He got shot by armed robbers. He had dropped me off at home, we kissed and talked about going to the beach the next day. He then drove home. He dint know there was a robbery going on in his compound. It wasn’t even late, around 9pm. He was driving in while they were about to drive off. They saw his car and shot at it. Two bullets pierced him in the chest and he died instantly. I felt it. The moment he died, I felt it. A cold shiver ran down my body. I will never forget it. Called him by 8am the next morning, his line was switched off. I kept trying and trying his number until his younger brother called me around 1pm and told me that he had had an accident and was in the hospital but that he was fine and asking for me but I knew. Even as I raced out of the and jumped on a bike, I knew I was never going to see Tee again. I got to the hospital and his while family and friends were there. His mom was rolling on the ground and his father was gnashing his teeth. I couldn’t cry. Even on the day he was buried, I dint cry cos I kept thinking it was a bad dream and that I will soon wake up from it. Four years and two relationships later, im yet to awaken. I think about him every minute of the day. I want to do something and the first thing I think about is what would Tee say or do? I love you Tee, I will always do.

    • Person

      April 20, 2014 at 1:18 am

      Kai. Jesus. I have no words for you, my sister. My heart breaks for you. May God comfort you and wipe your tears away.

    • memebaby

      April 20, 2014 at 5:16 am

      i feel sad.. sigh.. don’t worry, God is helping you heal <3.

    • Asake-Okin

      April 20, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      May his soul rest in peace… I hope one day you will be able to move on… someday you will.. it will surely take time

    • Daii

      April 21, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      mehn…. may u alwaz find peace! God sure loves him more

    • Qu33n

      April 22, 2014 at 11:31 am

      dis story brought tears to my eyes….may God heal you (amen)

  17. Chi

    April 19, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    I beg to differ. What is the point of this. So that married people will start reflecting on a situation that was never what God meant for them. Serious no bueno for this piece.

  18. Author Unknown

    April 19, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    That’s how life goes. Loving someone new has to be a commitment…and one that you keep at that.

  19. Brussels wanderer

    April 19, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    Well this is a very good write up and also one that hit me hard. It is very much true that “the one that got away” will always remain in our hearts and we never truly get over them

  20. private vikky

    April 19, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    Hmmmm……mcchizzy ,it seems u know me. I broke up with that “one” November of last year n I hv not been the same….I thought I was doing a good job getting over him until ard february when I wished he never left….stuff wud happen to me and I wud instantly remember what it wud hv been like with him ard…he was everything I needed in a partner until he messed us up…..u shud hv seen t he way I ran my mouth to my friends that he will never hurt me the way he did only for him to turn ard and do exactly that…..I hv been so hung up on him that I hv been on three dates since the break up but I always find myself comparing the other guys to him and they never measure up….so I thought I wud just let myself b and accept my fate until yesterday…this one that got away came back and says he is sorry and wants us to start over…..I was happy at first…heck a part of me is still jubilating that he realized how good we were n decided to come back but another part of me is confused….I love this dude like crazy but am not sure what the right thing to do is…..I want to get back with him but am scared of repeat history and I am in no rush for a relationship but I fear I may never find a man who understands me the way he does…..he gets me…completely…if there was a school to study your partner to get them….he definitely went there and we had a lot a lot of really good time together.I cud hv forgiven anything else but what he did completely shattered me and it is one of the rules I hv for a relationship….so I don’t know whether to go back on my rule or what the future looks like going back to him….nways…waiting to see where this recent talking gets us to…

    • Plush

      April 19, 2014 at 10:03 pm

      Toh Bad o…..Na you get my heart! (Niyola’s song)
      Pele.

  21. Her

    April 19, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    They got away because you both had the same blood type – AS. <—– thats how He got away SIGH! I thought ''the One'' had found me, until we had the ''genotype talk''. 🙁 Its hard not to compare him to every other guy that comes. Its sad that sometimes it seems like its the one you connect the most with, you cant have…. 🙁 🙁 🙁 but then again only God sees the full picture… They might not be right in the end… So… I WILL WAIT.. *shrug* God is NEVER Late and He EVERYTHING He does is good! I WILL WAIT!!!!!!!!

  22. Tru

    April 19, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    I’ve learned the hard way that life’s too short to weep for lost loves and might-have-beens. Truth is, it takes two to tango. Being the one doing all the loving and wishing and blah is the biggest energy drainer there is. So, tough as it is, i let go and get on with life

    • John de Beloved

      April 22, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      Simple! Finally some one says something i concur with. What isnt meant to be wont be. #thatsall. Forget all this lovey dovey responses jari, Live for the Moment, forget the past, and ignore the future.

  23. avuekwe

    April 19, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    @lovelorn, my dear, we are almost in the same position. For me, he was and is still my first love. We have been dating for 6 years but this year a lot of infidelity issues came up, things that have never happened before. We have fixed the date for marriage at the end of this year, rented an apartment, pooled resources together but i’m no longer sure that I want to settle wit this guy. How do I break the news to my single parent mum, my siblings, etc? I’m also scared, what will happen to me after then?will I ever find someone who completes me the way he does? Btw I’m 26.

    • omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com

      April 19, 2014 at 8:11 pm

      “avuekwe….before you take the huge step into marriage, I suggest you do a through reassessment of your relationship. Who cheated, him or u? Once infidelity has come into the sphere, it’s not likely to go away. Don’t settle for less or make excuses. I find it hard to understand how someone who’s cheated on you or someone you’ve cheated on completes you.
      Your mum and siblings are not going to be in the marriage with you, you are the one who’s wearing the shoes and knows better than anyone where it hurts- make decisions based on YOUR happiness and peace of mind not based on what people think.
      You are still young, there’s absolutely no need to rush into marriage- don’t allow the fact that you’ve made financial commitments in the relationship hold you back. You can always make more money- if you are having doubts, I suggest you cut your losses and retreat.

    • omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com

      April 20, 2014 at 11:12 pm

      @avuekwe once infidelity comes into the sphere of a relationship, it’s not likely to go away. I find it difficult to understand how someone who cheated on you completes you. Its seems you are already having second thots about marrying this guy. My dear your happiness should come first. Your mum and siblings will not live with you in an unhappy marriage, you are the one wearing the shoes, so you alone knows where it hurts. You are still too young to be scared of being alone. The right one will come, don’t be afraid to start over. Forget the financial commitments you’ve made in the relationship, you can always make more money. I suggest you cut your losses while you can and move on. All the best.

  24. funke

    April 19, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    Great piece. Letting go could be the most difficult thing atimes. U finally let go when someone better comes on board.

  25. ad

    April 19, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Forgetting things that are behind, I press on towards the mark of the prize of the high calling of Christ
    St Paul
    If you do not stop looking back , you cannot make progress
    Love yourself, love your life as it is, forget the “what could have been” and have gratitude for whatever it is right now.
    God makes all things beautiful in His time
    He will do a new thing

  26. notaplayerhater

    April 19, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    So sorry Aimee, so sorry for your loss.

  27. Person

    April 20, 2014 at 1:30 am

    His friend introduced us. He is a nerd. Nerds are not generally my type but wow, he is so SMART. I could listen to him talk all day, every day. We hung out, he took me out to breakfast, to dinner, I cooked for him, he edited my resume. And then he asked me, ‘how do you know my friend?’ And I panicked. How do I say I met your friend at a club, I was going through a bad breakup and I slept with him out of anguish? So I lied. And said, ‘i met him at work’. Which is true, technically. But that wasn’t the question, was it? I think he found out the real truth. Because well, we just stopped hanging out. I really tried, but he shut me out. And sometimes, I just think of what might have been. #dontjudgeme! #beentheredonethat!

  28. Miriam

    April 20, 2014 at 2:38 am

    Hmmm the one that got away was my everything, my ride or die, the reason I woke up in the morning, my smile. The love was too much I thought I could never ever find another like him. I broke it off. Why? Too complicated….Xgf issue, his Fam dint like me (they liked the Xgf), spiritual issues, diff church issues,we din’t care we were in too deep. I still think about him once in a blue moon. But the love I share with my hubby to be cannot be compared with the one that got away. My hubby to be is perfection, the bone of my bone & flesh of my flesh…he would lay down his life for me(n our son). I can’t even compare them because my hubby to be wins hands down. No comparison please.

    I am glad the one that got away got away because now I have my destined crown!
    I wish the one that got away all the best, but to him I am the one that got away and to him I am irreplaceable.

  29. Sumptuous

    April 20, 2014 at 8:18 am

    There is always a choice, it depends on how bad you both want it. People get married genotype regardless, HIV positive people also do. People from rival families can find love in one another. In my case. He got away because he wanted to be somewhere else. Took me a while but I have accepted this and we can talk and be friendly now. He is married to the love of his life and with a cute son and I truly wish him the best and I pray for my happy ending too. But if I could turn back time, I really won’t want him back cos I know I won’t make him as happy as his hearts desire. Love transcends all. If it didn’t happen, It wasn’t pure love that is equal on both sides. #my2cowries

  30. LamLam

    April 20, 2014 at 10:36 am

    He loved me more than I loved him. He was crazy about me and wud do anything for me. Unfortunately d feeling wasn’t reciprocated so he broke up with him. Though im getting engaged soon, I still think about the one that got away daily and I can’t stop comparing. I miss you Wale

  31. Grace

    April 20, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    I was with the one- so I thought. Got to see some things I didn’t like but stayed all the same eventually everything scattered.
    I was not happy with the way things were going but becos I was there so long I felt so comfy and didn’t want to let go and ready to sacrifice my happiness to be where I was not really happy cos we have known for over 10 years and he was a bestie. when it scattered I felt my world was going to crash but a surprising thing happened.

    I was hurting so badly that I could not even explain to a close friend how hurt I was and Being a Christian I just carried all my problems and hurts and bitterness, complaints and unforgiveness to God as I was becoming toxic to my own self. I asked him to help me get rid of all these emotional baggage.

    Being hurt is having an internal open injury that no one can heal because most times you think ur healed and things happen and you are back to square one.

    After crying through the night and soaking my pillow in tears with tears of a broken heart and a confused state with so much grief and shame, towards morning I felt a hand in my heart take out the pain and it went . I jumped because I knew a superpower took all my hurts and pains.

    Now am a very happy person who do not suffer from hurts and pains and disappointments from the past. am not sure time or anyone else would have been able to heal me as I wanted to be healed of hurts permanently and didn’t know how. and now found someone else whom is the right one for me.
    Anyone hurting from any kinda situation just take it to God. u will be healed and be so surprised how he works wonders with a broken heart and broken spirit.
    Happy Easter ya all.

  32. Serendipity

    April 20, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    I have had several that got away though in retrospect, Im always thankful it didnt work out. I dont go out of my way to choose toxic relationships. The last one that got away was lured away by a friend. After 2 years of no visits, he finally came to Naija. I went above and beyond myself to make his visit a resounding success. Fast forard 5 hrs later, he was screaming at me and turning red in the face bcos twice, I came home from work and saw him cosily chatting with a neighbour I had casually introduced him to and said ‘na wa ooo’ . I know that if he gone violent, would have stepped out of my trance, swerved and karate-chopped him to little pieces. No need to go into details bcos I’m still hurting. No, I dont want him back. But once in a while, on my bed, alone or in the midst of company, I hope there is nothing Im doing wrong. I hope I am not repelling these men. I hope I’m not too standoffish. I hope Im not too nerdy. I hope Im not too quiet. I dont wear weaves, been wearing an afro for 5 years, dont make conversation first unless I’m with friends, cant wear heels unless I have my car nearby (how do girls wear stiletto heels pls? I need lessons), dont know how to flick my hair the way I see girls do so effortlessly, dont know how to titter and laugh in that manner guys think is cute. I don’t know how to be like a typical girl but I know I’m fiercely loyal, I can be fun, Im intelligent (I take IQ tests all the time to remind me I’m not yet fit for a mental ward) but I really dont know what to do ‘righter’. Iv been close to despair so many times but i see girls all around me, everyday, in relationships. So, I know…it will come. End of rant….P.S…on a totally unrelated topic, I bought a painting and I’m hanging it on my wall tomorrow, a lovely painting of a village scene. Happy Easter folks.

    • Commentrina

      April 21, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      OMG Serendipity! You sound like such a cool cat! Any guy would be lucky to have you. Scratch that. He’d be a lottery winner!

      Don’t know what else to say. Just this.

    • Serendipity

      April 21, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      *Blushing to high heavens* Lol. Thanks C for the morale boost.

  33. Asake-Okin

    April 20, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    Thanks for sharing this.. Most people have the one that got away- Years ago, i had the one that got away however after analysing the situation of things then, i actually thank God he got away.

    I remember writing this exact topic couple of months ago about a lady who lost the love of her life by not waiting the first to apologize, although she got married last year, she couldnt help but think about the one that got away… What will be, will be?

  34. ether

    April 21, 2014 at 3:13 am

    @ D…sorry who died and made you the grand puba of writing?”Less over-generalization”?..sweet Jesus on a pogo stick… the writer has set her tone,which is as most bloggers who want a reaction from us mortals usually write, ..that is from an extension of the concept, to less specific criteria(generalization) …it doesn’t necessarily have to be borne from personal experience, for all we know she could have conceived of the idea whilst smoking a fag and taking a dump,..read the darn piece,ruminate over it and contribute,..if u have the urge do a critique on style of writing ,I suggest u visit,..u know what?…never mind…incidentally,while I’m still here mingling conspicuously with the crowd(lol),..I’ll just add that as long as we still refer to that person as “the one who got away”…there’ll always be a deep lying sense of regret in our subconscious,..leaving us reflecting on what could have been…I know I would.

  35. Serendipity

    April 21, 2014 at 6:54 am

    After typing my comment twice, BN still won’t publish it. Not fair

  36. cutermee

    April 21, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Hmnnnn sooooo many years gone by n I still can’t stop thinking about him. It was soooo much fun while it lasted. Till genotype did us part. Still miss u plenty my ex ride or die boo.

  37. Fade

    April 21, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    It’s 7 years now, I still think about u like it was yesterday we said goodbye. I miss you, Abiolami

  38. stillhurting.

    April 22, 2014 at 1:55 am

    im presently hurting cos of the one that got away,ours happened cos he was too manipulative and controlling even though i knew he wouldnt marry me cos hes a tribalist and still giving him my all…i tell him how much i love him but you never get those responses that makes a woman feel cared for and loved…..long story short,we havent formally ended the relationship(or whatever it is)and still want him.

  39. tumz

    April 30, 2014 at 5:01 am

    I think about “the one that got away” almost every other day,i was way too young to appreciate such a good person, it’s my one regret,i really wish I treated him better, in a relationship now and for the first time I’m not making comparisons and I’m thankful..The one that got away is always in my heart though.

  40. grace

    April 30, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    Ibrahim, he was Yoruba, I am Ibo. He was Muslim, I am Christain (Deeper life). We met when we were in school in the UK. I was willing to defy family and friends and agree to be his wife. I was willing to do many things.. then he told me he couldn’t go through with it. He couldn’t sleep at night knowing he was the reason my parents wont speak to me. We exchanged parting gifts; I gave him my virginity and he gave me a piece of gold which i still wear everyday on my neck… then he ‘walked out out of my life’. I hurt everyday. I’m sure he hurts too (hopefully lol) . He is still my very good friend but when I get married my husband will never know our ‘history’. He is planning to marry a muslim girl now. I wish him happiness but I also wish everyday we ended up together..

  41. AMY

    May 27, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    There is a saying that goes like this : ” you never fall in love once”. its a continuous process. That is if you let yourself. Stop the comparison and move on for those that fail too. ”The one that got away” would always be that totem that reminds us that we “SURVIVED” it all. We came out scathed quite alright but we know we are stronger. for what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and wiser.

  42. Ad

    May 28, 2014 at 11:44 pm

    I was the one who got away, but it always fells like he was the one who got away. He was my first, my first love, my sun, my life. I got away, but I think about him most of the time and wondered what life would have been with if I’d stayed.

    Is it weirded?

  43. Lola

    June 3, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    Woow, it’s amazing to know that am not alone in this emotional business. The one who got away has not gone finally or rather I should be his one who got away. Because I know am a good girl, well am always told that. But this my lover does not reciprocate it, even his friends feel am too good for him but I still don’t care. O how i wish. But I know God won’t make it happen if he is not mine. I can only pray that MINE comes fast and makes me happy. #Lovergirl.

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