Connect with us

News

Isio Knows Better: Bad Belle, Witchcraft or Just Coincidence?

Published

 on

Isio-Knows-Better-May-2014-Bellanaija

I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, but I do confess that I know better than I did yesterday, last year and a decade ago.

Isio Knows Better is an attempt to capture the shocking and highly entertaining conversation within myself. The conversations between my mind (the sharp witty one), my soul (the lover and the spiritual one) and my body (the playful one concerned with the more mundane things of life). She is the eternal referee between the caustic mind and the sensitive soul. This is Isio. So, here’s to making private conversations public.

Enjoy!

***

I used to have one Oyinbo friend like that in Design school in Italy.  She was a French girl in love with a French boy and was in the same Masters programme as I. She had come all the way from Paris. It was evident how thoroughly in love they were with each other and they didn’t hide it.

Even though they were apart, he was with her all the time and she with him. Phone calls, Facebook and the whole slew of connecting and communication options that the internet gave us were theirs and they utilised them well. They were all over each other’s comments anywhere online, that if it wasn’t so sweet, it would have been alarming.

Meeting to discuss our “group assignment” at Penelopé’s house meant Olivier was there through her computer screen via Skype beaming at us while the coffee drinkers amongst us drank coffee, ate biscuits and we all cackled about everything BUT the assignment we were supposed to be doing.

3 hours later, we were still cackling.

3 weeks later, he came to Florence to be with her.

3 months later he was still in Florence, having decided to look for a job near our school so they wouldn’t have to be apart.

3 years later, they are still together, stronger than ever. Still brandishing their love on Facebook and Instagram. They were living their “happily ever after” everyday. It is refreshing to see their love thrive… there are too many sad love stories around.

It really does warm my heart to see them make it, because it seems like the opposite formula is the case to sustaining your relationship in Naija (where you have to hide your precious love before it pafukas  inexplicably before your eyes) So my question is, is this just bad-belle, witchcraft (winchi tinz) or just coincidence that this is so in our society – to a higher degree-  than it is with our Western peers?

Ever notice how the moment you decide to brandish your love on social media,  scratch that, even from the moment you start talking about how amazing your partner is, once awon-aye can testify to the butterflies in your tummy and see the stars in your eyes,  you start having problems in that relationship? Abi Is it not a beautiful thing to celebrate your commitment to another openly without fear, retribution or skeletons yet undead reaching for you with bony fingers dripping of decaying flesh? Without the fear of your precious relationship being jinxed or without a side chic/ past sprouting like a resistant weed determined to dethrone you?

It would seem like here/ back home (for our people in the Diaspora), putting up your love’s picture up on BBM/Instagram EVERYTIME is at your own risk. Keep talking about him like he is the next best thing to sliced bread to the world and you just might not be eating that sliced bread in peace ever again. Inexplicable fights and misunderstandings, friends and enemies will rise up and whisper. Whisperers and monitoring spirits. Whispering about things they know about you and things they wished they knew. Lies they wished were true and truths you wished no one knew but you. The question of who is to blame and the trust that should exist between two people in love that makes them unshakable to such wickedness is a GRAND topic for another day.

I won’t lie, I do wonder about this.  Look at me, I am a creative person, I live for artisic expression.  Love is the most precious of gifts and I like to celebrate it, especially since I express my emotions better in writing than through speech. Tell me you love me and I would either say, “Awww/ Okay/ Heeya/ Thank you” or simply grunt in reply (depending on how full of poopoo that person is, the  proven value of their words, the history of their actions and why they are telling me that in the first place). For someone I love who tells me such, I would rather show you, but if you insist I write it, well, you get a masterpiece. Hehehheheeee!  Tell me to write how I feel; especially regarding love or when I’m upset, you get an accurate picture of my state of mind (or heart as the case might be).

And so some of us have learnt to hide our love, we hide our lovers from social media, we hide the one we plan to get married to, hide the news of our pregnancy,  hide the good news of a new and great job, hide that we are travelling abroad, hide things that we should celebrate until we are well past the “danger-zone” or “honeymoon period”.

Are we crazy to think people care enough about us to even want to tamper with us and ours? Are we not arrogant to think people want what we have, which makes us want to hide it?  Are we so faithless in human beings that we do not believe that people can be content with their lives enough to be happy for us- that is if they even care about us anyway? Perhaps  some of us are just afraid to publicly “mark” our lovers and beloved online because we cannot say without unwavering confidence that we will be unchallenged.  Maybe it’s just coincidence after all.

Or maybe we just don’t want to expose ourselves to bad belle. Perhaps we are simply wise, because we have learnt from experience that it is better to be safe than sorry. We have learnt that we do not need to prove to the world what we feel is real. Perhaps we are simply private people and want to enjoy the people we cherish most without the interference of people who probably have miserable lives but who decide they are authorities on what yours should be like. Perhaps we just want a chance to share in love, knowing that even if it fails, we did once win in love. Perhaps we are just secretive.

Or perhaps all this grammar no consign all those witches and wizards who have vowed to show you pepper.

Perhaps it is witchcraft after all.

______________________________________________________________________________________________
Isio Wanogho is a top-model, TV Personality and entrepreneur. She is conversant in five languages and has 12 years of experience in the Nigerian entertainment industry. Isio, popularly known by her brand name Isio De-laVega, captivates audiences with her signature wide smile and relatable, quirky personality which endears her to many. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @isiodelavega

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

94 Comments

  1. devious maids

    June 3, 2014 at 10:59 am

    I have asked my self that question times without number and my conclusion is “na witchcraft”

  2. Thatgidigirl

    June 3, 2014 at 11:05 am

    A wise man once told me that if you have 10, make people believe you have 2….ok, it wasn’t a wise man it was just my annoying ex bf, however it sounded wise to me. I stopped discussing my relationship with my friends in december and learnt to use all the nigerian evasive religious cliches “it is well o, we thank God oh, God has been faithful o”, I have had 5 months of calm in my relationship since then! No silly malicious advice etc. Isio, its not about being superstitious or secretive but wisdom is the principal thing. Warri ppl say “if pikin never get step brother, e no dey get sense” in other words until you have experienced winchy winchy first hand, people that have taken it upon themselves to relax on top your matter, then you would know that silence is truly golden. Be like a shot gun, let people not see you coming but feel your impact.

  3. uche

    June 3, 2014 at 11:06 am

    lol.

  4. Fisa

    June 3, 2014 at 11:11 am

    My 6 year relationship was flaunted everywhere FB, twitter, BB, all his friends knew me……. The relationship eventually broke, the guy met anoda babe and he left.lol i cried my eyes out the same people who admired our pixs together all started consoling me some were even gossiping behind me. How SAD and Now av promised myself if i get into a new relationship i wont show it off anywhere, the pix people will see is when am Engaged. Nothing like show off again I have learnt my lesson in the very hard way.

    • Annie

      June 3, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      My dear, when you are engaged? my sister, the picture they should see is when you are married, oh unless you are Yoruba where the engagement means trad. marriage then fine, i no dey for awon whisperers and all….when am in a relationship or break up, no one gets to know on social media..lols..only few friends are even allowed into my personal business

    • Wake

      June 3, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      No ooo! I’d rather wait till after the kids are born and have completed their education before letting anyone know. Better to move my family abroad and hide them in one quaint Tuscan village and nurture them until they are college graduates and I am retired and achieved all my lie goals before letting anyone in Nigeria know what I am upto. The bad belle in that country is just too MUCH!

    • Igbeyinadun

      June 3, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      Sorry to hear this oo, i really do feel your pain. In my case, I have just always been private and paranoid. Before my husband proposed, he had all my pics on his facebook, bb, twitter, instagram ati gbo gbo, but even with consistent pressures from him, i refused to put his pic on any of mine. I knew we were going to get married but I wanted it to be confirmed before announcing it to the world. I eventually put his pic up a couple of weeks before our wedding and got a lot of “haa and you kept it a secret” “ooo and nobody knew” etc.
      On the contrary, my cousin who was engaged for about 2 years, had flaunted all her fiances pic on all the social media sites and she had to answer a lot of “haa what happened” questions when they had call off the engagement when he cheated on her.
      In my opinion, I believe people should keep things like these private until its sealed. #justsaying.

  5. 5'5

    June 3, 2014 at 11:15 am

    hahahah! na winch

  6. Wonder

    June 3, 2014 at 11:17 am

    Thank you Isio for this topic. I have been thinking about this lately and this is my conclusion: the level of jealousy and hatred among we Nigerians is just too much! We easily despise each other for no reason, highly competitive and lack genuine love. I relocated to d UK last year and wow! d level of content and love shown among d locals almost drew me to tears….contentment is a virtue we also lack, all these vices lead people to get easily involved in witchcraft, betrayal and other forms of evil. Of course people will hide their new boo, pregnancy and all sorts for d fear of jealousy.

  7. Been There

    June 3, 2014 at 11:18 am

    Thank you so much for this write up Isio. I think a growing population of Nigerians are so full of bitterness and spite that they always find the “bad” in others’ relationships. So, no!!! its not a figment of one’s imagination, there are jinxes in this country. They feel the need to ‘put it to you’ that your love life isn’t better than theirs, for reasons best known to them. Heaven forbid that you had pictures on instagram, facebook et al and the relationship ends…lol… some of those pictures would be saved by winch people to be sent to the next guy you date with a “THIS IS HER EX BF..THE GUY EVEN DUMPED HER” note.I have had some encounters with winch people, so i know.. lol.. Lets start with the friend who goes out of her way to track down all the people your bf has dated for them to tell you how he is no good and then, the one who introduces you to a guy telling you he is oh so amazing….the minute she sees you have both caught the lovebug, she starts telling you how he is a cheat and telling him how you are no good… hahaha.. my dearest Isio, in Nigeria, hiding your relationship is the best way to go because i now honestly believe that there are a lot of people out there who have been so burnt by love that they cannot stand anyone else being “happy in love”. They just need to burst your bubble and tell you it is not perfect……as if love would be fun if it was perfect to begin with… I hid my relationship all the way to the altar and im happy because there are truly winch people out there . SORRY FOR THE LONG WRITE UP…and yes, i have changed friends..haha

    • TA

      June 3, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      @ Been There,how about situations where the minute you made the relationship public,it developed problems that hitherto were not there but surfaced for some strange reason other than third party interference?
      My own explanation for the seeming jinx is that ‘It could be that the minute you make the relationship public,we unconsciously expect more from our partners and project same need to them. The other party not used to this ‘new you’ suddenly starts to question the rationale or lack of it of being with you…and the rest as they say is history. Am not discrediting the fact that there are malicious ‘frenemies’ who will stop at nothing to sabotage a growing relationship but in some instances it could just be us expecting more or beginning to act ‘one kain’ after the relationship is made public that often leads such relationship to doom.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      June 3, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      @TA
      I align myself with your reasoning. Sometimes we are the originators of the subsequent strife. Its more than having a gadget and internet connection. So many people are not socially mature enough to handle having their business on sharing media and the responsibility that comes along with it. There is an unconscious pressure to be, look, and keep fantastic all the time . What is your reason for putting pictures of yourself and your love interest up ? Your underlying motive will always follow through. To Isio’s (hey babe) couple, it was just one more way to be together. To most, it is an opportunity to show off and while there may be nothing wrong with that, you can attract the foul kind who are equally socially immature to be using such devices in the first place no matter how old they are.

      You can hide her/him under a bushel and things may still go awry. We need to be responsible and truthful to ourselves at all times.

    • slice

      June 3, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      i agree with you. sharing can bring pressure. even though most of the time i’m not sure whether to share or not to share. how many things can i share before i start sounding like i think my life is better than other people’s lives. but i’ve often thought sharing may make me feel like i have to maintain that “miracle” even if i’d rather get rid of it. the more annoying part of sharing for me has got to be the people that can’t let go of the thing when i’ve let it go. ah ah why are you asking about the guy i broke up with 3 years ago when i told you the whole gist then. now you want to ask so why did you guys break up again.

    • Jane Public

      June 3, 2014 at 3:21 pm

      Can I buy both you ladies a drink? TA, WORD!!!!! Bobosteke, motive, motive, motive, motive. You only invite in what you opened the door for. Some albeit unintentionally, being naive and all that, but check the larger percentage. Motive, motive, motive.

    • Been There

      June 3, 2014 at 6:48 pm

      I totally agree with the scenario you’ve mentioned. I never stated that the demise of ALL relationships is due to the interference of “winch people”….of course various factors can constitute to a breakup. In my comment, I simply focused on the role spiteful third parties often play pre and post breakup

  8. Just me

    June 3, 2014 at 11:24 am

    Thought Provoking piece, there is a proverbial saying “Do not count your chicks until they are hatched”. If there is one thing I have observed in Africa, It is better to hide things first until you are 100% completely sure that it will be fruitful before you front it. I believe there is an evil lurking behind to ensure that things dont work once you start announcing it.

  9. MOI

    June 3, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Very true that lots of people don’t wish people well but we should not dwell so much on stuff like that, that we forget to enjoy God’s blessings. Moderation is key.

  10. Nanya

    June 3, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Isio…….I totally love the fusion of ur mind, body and soul……..fast becoming my fave. For me, when it comes to sharing good news, I just keep it to my self so I avoid answering dumb questions also just in case my plans flop. And am not a huge fan of showing of ur Boo on social network………

  11. Jade

    June 3, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Pele o Fisa, I think it’s just that most Nigerians are superstitious in nature, like my colleague and good friend who confides in me about a lot of things suddenly became secretive about his wife’s pregnancy. I even asked him point blank and he denied the pregnancy until she needed emergency treatment and he needed to borrow money from me. When I asked him why he was hiding it he said the walls have ears, that the wrong person may hear and who knows what will happen then. On another note I think something may be wrong with me emotionally as I never seem to really care about things and people, I’d really love to experience a heartbreak u known, just to know what it feels like but none of my break ups lead to tears or sadness or breakdowns, I have just ended a five year r/ship and I have been waiting for the tears et al but none is coming. Do I need help or what? :s

    • girl

      June 4, 2014 at 1:31 am

      i’m crying with laughter because this is so me. Very emotionless when it comes to relationships after all na only me waka come.

  12. Tola

    June 3, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Am currently in a relationship(engaged) and as a rule between the two of us, we don’t flaunt it..Not for anytin but because we are both quiet people.
    Ps: @ Fisa, take heart dear.. You will have reasons- I mean mega reasons to smile soon

  13. Shazy

    June 3, 2014 at 11:39 am

    I think it’s different strokes for different folks and depends on the two people involved. Before and even after marriage, we still flaunt our relationship and “awon aye” can go hug transformer for all we care…. sharonogunleye.blogspot.co.uk

  14. JK

    June 3, 2014 at 11:40 am

    I BELIEVE THE BEST THING IS TO HIDE ANY PROMISING RELATIONSHIP FROM SOCIAL MEDIA, PRYING EYES AND EVEN FRIENDS. NOWADAYS PEOPLE ARE NO LONGER CONTENT WITH WHAT THEY HAVE, FLAUNT YOURS AND YOU’RE DONE FOR. LEARNT THE HARD WAY. MY NEXT RELATIONSHIP, NO ONE WILL HEAR OR SEE HIM, UNTIL MARRIAGE.

  15. mrs chidukane

    June 3, 2014 at 11:49 am

    The reason I never put up any of my relationship pictures is to prevent tagging. So that when we break up and I move on,very few people know the relationship ever existed. However, when I knew I and my husband were destined for the altar,i put up our pictures on bbm and we went to functions together. I put up my pregnancy pics on bbm and i’m still pregnant. My friend has hers all over fb and she’s still pregnant.
    These things are superstitions that people have, though it’s not wise to put every aspect of your life out there. That being said, I don’t believe anyone can jinx me.Its just not possible. What is mine is mine. No winchi winchi can derail it

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      June 4, 2014 at 3:24 am

      You and Bobosteke & Lara…. are RIGHT ON THAT $$$!!!
      Naija people are extreme. They either flaunt it (calling each other husband and wife even before the wedding) OR they hide it like chlamydia. As if people have not been breaking up before social media. 2 things I think people need to get in their heads from what you guys said:

      1. Motive: You can’t be putting pix to act like y’all are perfect, not saying you should put pix of you guys fighting either lol, but if your motives are pure, then whatever happens, you won’t regret it…

      2. Someone’s bad belle cannot affect you if you don’t let it. Buy yourself and eye or wear mirrors to send that odeshi back to them. Or pray and have a pure heart. If you see someone who loves to make negative comments about good things in your life, X them. Simple. Be around supportive people and fuel the fire for all things good.

      Another thing I’ll add is: I 100% disagree with putting new relationships online. That’s just me.

  16. WoW!!!

    June 3, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    Isio!!! I’ll be back to comment. I need to digest this. I have done all the above, hidden boyfriend, then fiancé, then husband (no famzing with l’hubs please), hidden pregnancy and now I’m hiding… a lot!
    Chei!
    I’ll be back

  17. Fabulicious

    June 3, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    I am always the girl some of my social media friends have eventually seen and are dumbfounded to see me with two small kids following mummy about.They are always shocked.I don’t show,I don’t put family pix,I don’t mention,I don’t flaunt.If you see it in real life,no problem whatsoever.This is just my style.We have allowed social media to consume us so much that It’s just scary.The scariest part for me was following a family blogger who posted ultrasound pics of the tiny foetus and ended up loosing the baby some weeks later.Me I even cry for house sef.I felt so sad for her cos it was too much information.

  18. sum1special

    June 3, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    I personally do not feel it is bad belle,witchcraft or coincidence. If you love and trust someone enough to flaunt pictures of you two on social media and afterwards the relationship doesn’t work out,well shit happens. Keeping a relationship secret or flaunting it,none of that guarantees it will work out. Before i flaunt any relationship anywhere, i am always sure where it is headed and if the person is worth it. It also has to be a two-way thing. We should be flaunting each other and not just me. Any serious relationship would be flaunted because you want the world to know you are taken.

    • TA

      June 3, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      @sum1special,thank you,thank you and thank you. Please folks,its not always bad belle witch craft or coincidence,let us be honest with ourselves; sometimes it just was not meant to be anyways.

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 3, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      You just spoke my mind!

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      June 4, 2014 at 3:27 am

      Why do you “want the world to know you are taken”? What’s the point of that?

  19. Looking at all angles

    June 3, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Thanks Isio. I feel some of this issues need to be addressed as so many people are just unhappy for other people to be doing well.

    A lot of people have said until they get the ring or give birth etc but does it mean after you get married or give birth you are invincible or untouchable to them.

    We need to understand these so called friends or family are vultures and they will go any length to take you happiness.
    I don’t think it’s a witch thing but just wickedness and selfishness in the heart of men.

  20. Inem

    June 3, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    oh! This post relates to me. I recently got a job that is paying really well. And I couldn’t really tell my friends about it…just kept ‘twisting’ the story. I didn’t want them to know where I am working or how much I am being paid…partly bad belle and ‘airforce’ *coughs*
    Yesterday, a dream came true, and I will have to leave the country very soon….marriage and school.
    Last year, my cousin got married, posted her wedding pictures on the internet, the publicity was over the top and my mum complained that it was definitely TMI. Today, she and the hubby are divorced…The last time I posted pictures from my parents’ wedding anniversary…bad belles said to my parents ‘I wasn’t invited oh’ ‘you people are rich but stingy, see designers you are wearing’ etc. My mum was upset when she found out I posted the pictures online. She doesn’t just like too much publicity and will keep saying ‘don’t let everyone know your source of happiness’ and ‘ede dib uwem edu’ meaning ‘life is lived quietly’.
    My family is saying I shouldn’t tell anyone about the news…I am just wondering how I am going to just disappear and not even tell my friends whom I won’t see in a long while, about the goodnews. I am getting engaged, I can’t tell anyone, I can’t even put up pictures of me and my boo (who doesn’t like it too) on my social network pages, till maybe later, when I am settled, school is on and a wedding is certain. How come my oyinbo cousins get to post every story (from breakups, pregnancy, delivery, weddings, engagement, etc)….abi ‘winsh’ or ‘bad belle’ no dey their side?

    • Hurperyeahmie

      June 3, 2014 at 12:51 pm

      Their own winch no dey like our own me too don get experience and trust me na until after marriage them go know the guy, even pregnancy i go don born the children finish before people know cos i no fit shout

    • slice

      June 3, 2014 at 2:57 pm

      the one big thing you must consider is how your friends will feel if you don’t tell them. surely there are one or two that you trust. after all these years of loving and caring for you, they deserve to know and you should be able to quietly tell them why you’re leaving the country. Look at it this way: assume your friendship will take a dent if you don’t tell them and if that’s ok with you, then don’t tell

    • Dr. L

      June 3, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      Sweetheart, life indeed should be lived with wisdom. Wisdom is THE principal thing. And a wise man knows the key to success lies in a relationship with God. There are “bad belles” “in abroad” too o. Hian! So if you REALLY want to share all that wonderful news {Congrats to you :)}, sift through your list of friends with “spiritual eyes”. And if you’re still skeptical, then just keep sharing the news with all the beautiful BellaNaijarians.

      Hope the above helped 🙂

    • Ayodele

      June 3, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      My sister let only your close friends know your whereabouts( by phone)Then put up one encrypted facebook post saying ” God has been good…or He has made my dream a reality….along those lines then disappear. Work colleagues will be told on the penultimate day. When you leave no matter how abroad is sweeting you don’t change your location or put up pics. That’s what I did when I disappeared to the UK.

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      June 4, 2014 at 3:29 am

      Abegi, una too paranoid for una house…

  21. CarliforniaBawlar

    June 3, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    In as much as I don’t care for superstitious beliefs, I’ve always been a private person. I don’t tell my business not because I think you’ll jazz up my good fortune but because I don’t like to come across as proud. On the other hand….even oyinbo people recognize ‘bad energy’.
    Can we also talk about the feeling of betrayal when someone you love sincerely with all your heart doesn’t tell you some things because you are considered a potential saboteur? I think this ‘you go pour sand sand for my garri’ attitude has destroyed more friendships than actual witchcraft….I feel like its a catch 22 thing and makes it hard to find true friendships in Nigeria.
    Na real wah….on a lighter note….Every single summer growing up we had to tell friends and family alike that my (spirit-filled, never tell an untrue word) momsi was in the village, Lagos, Ibadan or she plain and simple “just went out” while she was busy globe-trotting. I guess lies told for our own ‘safety’ doesn’t count as sin against God….**side eye** 😛

    p.s. Isio I love your writing style, hope you land a newspaper column soon 🙂

    • Jane Public

      June 3, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Exactly. Someone I laughed with, cried with, prayed for, went on spa weekends which I paid for when a long term relationship ended, I tried to get her dating again, introduced to eligible work colleagues, only not to know when she started dating seriously, all i got was an email of the wedding invitation. To say that my head spun around so fast my neck hurt would be a gross understatement. The nerve of her wanted me to be a bridesmaid too. I thought wow, so you consider me as the bad belle. Sorry, I didn’t attend the wedding. I only sent a gift and my apologies. She got pregnant, didn’t tell me too only to get another email asking me if I would plan her baby shower. Girl, are you tripping on acid or high on some mind erasing drug. Lets just say we don’t talk anymore. I am also very private and only share with a selective few. I don’t do social media romance, Le boo doesn’t even have a facebook or instagram account and only uses Twitter for work. I don’t personally believe in winchy this or that just the power of jealousy. It is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. I only share my problems and joys with people who can understand or are in a similar position to either celebrate or sympathise with me genuinely. If you find those who have shared and have been bitten, check their motives. Half the time they share so you can envy them, or they are showing off, so of course when you invite the destructive power of envy into your life, don’t come complaining when it comes to bite you. People who share genuinely with no ulterior motives I have found, do fine. Well that’s just me talking from personal experience.

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      June 4, 2014 at 3:33 am

      Wow. She’s nasty. I think she just always used you since you were always there for her… So sorry. =(

    • Jane Public

      June 4, 2014 at 10:05 am

      Yup big user and my eyes have cleared now. If you consider me a potential bad belle and can’t share your good news with me. Okay then I am not your true friend don’t expect acts of true friendship from me too. The door swings both ways

    • Oompa Loopma

      June 3, 2014 at 3:34 pm

      Can we also talk about the feeling of betrayal when someone you love sincerely with all your heart doesn’t tell you some things because you are considered a potential saboteur?
      THIS!!!!
      The day I found out that a friend of mine I loved so dearly and trusted so much had lied about every single thing I wept. From school grades to relationships to jobs. Everything she told me was a lie. I had been faithful and truthful to her. I cried like a baby because it stung like hell. I felt stupid and betrayed because she was one person I always called to tell good news and bad news. She misrepresented everything about herself. She told me she was failing at uni and there were days I would call and pray and pray and send encouraging messages but alas graduation day came and this babe not only finished with her first class, she graduated top of her class. I was too stunned to say congrats. Even jobs. She came over to my house for a week and I was applying for jobs while she was lounging. See me begging this girl to apply and she kept saying later later. Until the day I overheard her talking to her mom on the phone. Babe had multiple job offers. There are so many other stories I could give of this babe.
      At the end of the day I didn’t confront her. I didn’t say anything. I simply cut her off.

    • slice

      June 3, 2014 at 3:47 pm

      wow that’s another level. why lie about failing in school. what’s the point of that one now. some people are just cray cray

    • oknow

      June 3, 2014 at 4:57 pm

      I didn’t want to comment before, then I read your comment. Your best friend and my cousin must be related somehow. lol. Your story and more is what a cousin did to me so I totally believe you. I don’t mean some distant cousin you rarely see or talk to o. I am talking a 1st cousin who we grew up together, slept in the same bed, wore the same clothes like twins and so on. I was even her chief bridesmaid. This is sorry was someone whom I thought was my blood sister, confidant and best friend rolled into one. someone I shared everything with from serious to silly. At the height of the recession when people were losing their jobs in the banks, I prayed with her that she wont be among those losing their jobs not knowing that she had been promoted while I was busy fearing for her (ps I did not loose my job nor work in a bank so no excuse of not wanting to hurt me). Many more stories I can’t be bothered to type. Like you the day I found out I cried, but unlike you I confronted her. Not for anything but for my own sanity. Feeling stupid and betrayed didn’t even come close when I realized the “relationship” had been one sided. Stories like this don’t surprise me anymore because if a sister can do that to you, how much more friends.

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      June 3, 2014 at 10:10 pm

      “Can we also talk about the feeling of betrayal when someone you love sincerely with all your heart doesn’t tell you some things because you are considered a potential saboteur?”

      Highest of fives, my darling co-commenter. Last year, I experienced that intense pain of knowing someone I had sincerely enfolded into my life and considered to be as dear as a blood sister, just didn’t hold me in the same esteem. At all. It hurt really, REALLY badly and I’d say the pain feels worse than what you go through after a bad break-up because (as my dearest mother said to me just 2 days ago), “men will come and men will go”. However, true female friendship take time to build and properly cement and when all of that labour of love collapses because of that secretiveness… ah ya yai. Went through an emotional rollercoaster of a period, where I was just… full of questions repeatedly asked to myself about so many things. Beht, it’s okay now, I guess there are just different kinds of people we’ll get to meet in our lifetime. 🙂

  22. TA

    June 3, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Hmmm …sometimes the jinxing is too surreal to be true so I blame it on coincidence. 🙂

  23. Fact

    June 3, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    It’s only your immediate family that wish you well and maybe a handful of others…hence the main reason for you to keep everything, i mean everything that concerns your love life, your job and your dreams a secret. When you are going for visa or job interview abeg keep it a secret, when you eventually get the visa and you are travelling also keep it a secret. People dnt want to see you do better than them, they dnt want to see you happy or even hear say you get boyfriend. If the guy is a well known notorious guy, they will be very happy for you o, because they know that guy will make your life miserable but if the reverse is the case, cool handsome and responsible dude, shows you so much love…omo, bad belle and winch things don start.

  24. Wow!

    June 3, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    Bella!! where’s my comment na 🙁 Yoruba people say ‘ti isu eni ba ta, ama fi owo bo je’ meaning, when your yam starts showing, make sure you hide to eat it. I have done all the above listed hiding and I’m still doing o.
    Personally, I don’t know what the line is between showing off and sharing so I don’t bother. Let’s be honest some people don’t share with good motives either so before someone mistakes my innocent sharing for pride and what nots? Better to keep my mouth shut. Like they say, when a women is pregnant, no one needs to tell you, you will see it. If it is so important to anyone to know, let them wait till they see it I wont be telling anyone nada!

  25. Noksis

    June 3, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    True Isio. I hide mine because i hate people poke nosing into my affairs. It annoys me. However i used to think friends were people you share your moments with until i knew better. My childhood best friend was pregnant and put to bed before she told me. And throughout her pregnancy we were chatting and gisting almost every week.
    I felt sad, and i concluded no more friends.
    I dont know why it seems like it is only naija’s that are so envious to want to spoil their neighbours joy

  26. Marie Antoinette

    June 3, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Thanks for this topic Isio. It brings Fool’s advice to King Lear to mind, “Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest, lend less than thou owest.”

    In all, living in Nigeria, it pays more to keep a low profile in every area of one’s life. Moderation is key.

    • Warri Babe

      June 3, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      #True..totality of it all

  27. Talk True

    June 3, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    The truth is that we live in a society where people prefer to say “pele” than “Congratulations”. I used to be open before…not really about flaunting but generally just open to friends- as long as you had a listening ear I wouldn’t mind sharing but these days I barely speak to anyone. It was hard to transition but I think I prefer this quiet life. I’ve been through a lot with friends abeg! No need for drama. Let me not even start to say stories before someone will put the pieces together… haha. The heart of man is wicked…actually desperately wicked.

  28. Oluwabusola Adedire

    June 3, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Personally, I believe relationships and Social Media does not mix. If you like social media, I will advice to keep the relationship part out of it. Don’t block your destiny!!

  29. akwa nwa

    June 3, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    @ fisa, I can relate with your story. Ur story is about to become My reality after 6 years and 1 month by this week sunday. But the truth is that it is because we were hiding it that the bobo used the opportunity to cheat on me. In my own case, I wished I had let everyone know how far engaged we were.

  30. Changing Faces

    June 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Maybe I missed something, how did flaunting on social media lead to Fisas break up? Everyone here is blaming the next person for their misfortune in love, but most people now will rather concentrate on posting pictures and flaunting relationships, wealth, possessions. What happened to privacy? How did we cope when we didn’t post our pictures in the labour room giving birth? Or in the private jet? There’s nothing wrong in displaying your happiness wherever, but let’s still keep a private life. Everything is not for public consumption. Sometimes fortunes change, and it’s not because of witches, it’s because that is life!

    • TA

      June 3, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      @ Changing faces,1000 likes for your comment.
      @ BN,please we need that like button. Long overdue if you ask me. 😉

  31. Ready

    June 3, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    I haven’t experienced this bad belle or winchi thing, and I pray never to. But I believe in that whole ‘if one person’s life can be improved by your experience, then it’s worth it’. I’m an introverted extrovert, and not prone to emotional displays so when I feel the urge to post my boo’s pictures, I do; especially as it’s long distance. I’ve noticed I never do it on huge fora like FB though…only ones with a limited contact list.
    I can understand not counting your chickens before they hatch, but I don’t think life should be lived in secrecy. I will admit to seeing pics of coupled up couples and thinking “she’s not even that pretty” but I quickly reprimand myself and wish them them well because I want to be able to say Amen if the prayer “I wish you what you wish me” ever comes up.
    Do what comes natural to you, if that’s gushing about your love, cool; if it’s springing a surprise introduction photo on us on BBM cool. But maybe I’m just saying that because I’ve never been burned.

  32. Pynk

    June 3, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Misery Loves company especially in depraved societies such as our dear Nigeria. Someone sent my fiancé text messages at 3am in the morning to tell him i had multiple abortions and was barren. And this was a relationship that wasn’t publicized in my opinion. Luckily for me i was open with him about my cancer being in remission and childhood rape. He was my bf then. He has gone with me to the Doctor once and was there when the doctor pronounced how small my uterus was and other things that would reveal i had never ever been pregnant talk less of abortion.

    I learnt how to pray very well, fast very well and talk to God. I asked God for something – whoever was behind it will be present at all my major testimony points with this man. Our wedding is in 5 months the formal. AS inconvenient as the location is, someone that i am not remotely close to, i don’t even talk to her, but she is around one of my fam members is struggling to gather ticket money and come. Now i suspected her all along, but i am waiting for a full manifestation. Maybe she is planning to come to the wedding to object when the priest asks the public. lol. meanwhile we are going to the registry in the next 2 weeks with our mothers only.

    The truth of the matter is, you may think your life is not worth wanting, but i have seen with Nigerians that they want everybody else’s life but their own. they want the perceived pieces of other peoples lives and that ends up leading to nothingness. i made up my mind a long time ago to realize that people will hurt you, some intentionally, others unintentionally. It is left to you to pick how you deal with life. I won’t let anyone determine the contents of my mind or how i treat others.

    Sorry for the epistle.

    • Idak

      June 3, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      If you continue like this you will develop high BP. Paranoia is a serious matter. Leave ‘innocent until proven guilty’ bad belles and focus on your life.

  33. Person

    June 3, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    I am Yoruba. I am one of those people ‘ti ori e o gba ariwo’ -‘my head does not like noise’ literally. I don’t tell anyone when I am making plans for anything. I have often found the plans I share do not come to fruition. It is like counting my chicks before they hatch and after one too many times, I have adopted my brother’s stance- not one person knows the complete story of my life. When my best friend was leaving for the UK, she didn’t tell me. Me too, I waited till my US Permanent Card was in my hands before I announced it. ‘Banuso, ma ba eniyan so, oju la feni, ore o ma denu o, orisisri ore loun be, e sa faye- ‘Tell it to yourself, don’t tell it to anyone else, you caan only see the surface, you can’t see what’s inside a man, there are different types of friendships, be careful.’ Wisdom is profitable to direct.

  34. kellis

    June 3, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    Thank you Isio.. You have Hit The Nail on The Head. I will say there is a Big Cloud of Darkness in the minds of Africans…The Black Race…And amongst Nigerian. I was once a jolly good fellow who shared love, happy moments, my success stories with family and friends. Not too long ago, I discovered that majority of my spiritual issues emanate from my family. Can you imagine. Now Am compelled to be Extremely Secretive even to my parents who normally will announce their joy to other relatives and close family friends. There after Kata Kata will burst. No One Teaches you life’s lesson,You learn By Force!!!

  35. Vegas

    June 3, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    In a society where we promote strength and confidence who cares what the bad belles’s say.Are they excluded from unfourtunate things happening in their life? No one is untouchable from life’s destinies these are the things that contribute to a life lived well and what in turn makes you stronger.Just as people will talk about you from seeing pictures, they will do the same without seeing pictures.They will go out of their way to piece together your life without information so whats the big deal. True not everyone is strong enough to stomach hearing bad stuff about their lives, but we all know these things are being said anyways.The Colored gene, Non-oyibo is all like this, we cannot limit it to nigerians.The solution is to grow a thick skin.I tell people to schedule their pleasures because pain and sorrow does not.So peeps carry on with heartbreaks and miscarriages.Na today? i think not.

  36. ADA

    June 3, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    Hahahaha.Great write up.My sis I don’t know what to call it but might be best described as witchcraft,as it is every where even in “Church” There are certain things that are best nurtured and groomed before we officially bring it to the open.Guarded my relationship with all diligence for almost a year and eventually got married. Whether u believe it or not,nobody really cares about ur best interest except a select few.Never give out to much,too early especially in Naija.

  37. Me

    June 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    God Bless you for this write up! I was just telling my boyfriend the same thing some weeks ago. I celebrated my birthday in April and 90% of his work colleagues called me that day, his mum, cousins, uncles, everyone! it was a great day and i felt loved but the truth is; last year i was with someone else, had the same calls from his own colleagues and family members but we couldn’t even hit the one year relationship mark. I told him i’ve learnt from past relationships, PDA and all sorts, it’s never ended well. I had to beg him to take down our picture from his BBM display picture and he still isnt happy about that Cos He sometimes feels I’m hiding “us” or not proud of “us” but I am. I was engaged once and i can categorically tell you that most of my so called friends were secretly happy it ended. I hope my present relationship leads to something greater, until then “I’m single” to all that care to ask until I’m married.

  38. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    June 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    Funny how everyone here has been on the receiving end and none on the delivering end.

    • jcsgrl

      June 3, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      ha ha ha ha ha ha ha okwa ihuru gi eh ( you see yourself). Abeg no kee me. Gosh I have truly missed you.
      Now where is @whocares o? Abeg anybody wey see her torchlight tell am say I dey hail am
      Oh and @Bleedblue @nonprofessionalopinion @Que @Ekwitosi biko puta nu o (abeg come out o)

    • Bleed Blue

      June 4, 2014 at 9:10 am

      Awww jcsgrl, I’m right here sweetie’m.

      Just observing and laughing like a hyena on helium.

    • The happy one

      June 3, 2014 at 6:00 pm

      Bobo my love, you know everyone na angel o.

  39. Idak

    June 3, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    I think these scenarios painted are just inevitable. A match between a sickening desire to expose every facet of our lives online and a increasing secretion of bitterness and bile by same persons for whom live has become a competition.
    It was bound to happen.
    The answer is not in being paranoid and hiding every bit of your live but in maintaining a middle ground and keeping that which is private,private.

    • TA

      June 3, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      Thank you!!!

  40. Simsi

    June 3, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    I usually put my bf’s picture as dp on my bbm. And I have about just 2 pictures of him on instagram. But I don’t write anything once I post the picture. There are some people that’ll write stories like ” he makes me complete”…. Bla bla. So its left to people to start guessing who this person is. Apart from the people that know he’s my bf and he’s not even the only guy on my instagram. So I guess I’m not showing off like that. I’ve learnt to start shutting my mouth tho. Especially things my bf tells me. Cos some people will still tell me to my face that they’ll steal him from me. I just tell them that they can’t take him if he doesn’t want to be taken. I just think its different stroke for different folks. But some things are best being kept private

  41. potomanto

    June 3, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    the good lord will help us, i met my ex thru a mutual friend initially we were friends before we started dating, my ex really swept me off my feet and i had no choice but to date him despite the fact i knew that he is from ontisha (ontisha people hardly marry outsiders)and being the only child his mum will want him to marry from his place. although we discussed the issue and he assured me that we will over come it. immediately we started dating, we told our mutual friend and all of a sudden she started acting weird, discussing me with his relatives, at every opportunity she would she would tell me that the relationship will never in fact that she is just laughing at me. i really felt bad bcos i couldnt understand why my friend cannot be happy for me. well at the end of the day, the relationship was already jinxed and the pressure was too much, so we had to break up. my friend hurriedly became his consoling pills. well some friends are just winchy winchy and are never happy at their friend’s happiness.

  42. Tru

    June 3, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Hi Isio, I prefer not to put my relationship status up on Social Media because I can’t stand the sympathy of well-meaning friends if things don’t work out, even though I know they may truly care.
    As per other things, like getting a new job or travelling, I don’t share because 1) Too many friends will suddenly appear with Shopping lists, and 2) Too many relatives will feel entitled to gifts that I must get for them (never mind that they didn’t join me in drinking garri while I was saving for trip 😀 )

  43. open mind

    June 3, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    my mum will say some blessings are better left unannounced, i completely agree with her, I’m not sure about this but i feel some people just have a spirit that tends to work against any good news you share whether personally or in public,some times even family members, this is unknown to some of them and unknown to the bearer of the good news. In as much i believe its safer to keep some things private, it will not stop the will of God from coming to pass in our lives, I’m one person that believes that everything happens for a reason whether you make it private or public.

    • Dr. L

      June 3, 2014 at 7:18 pm

      Truth!

  44. Just me

    June 3, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    When Herod heard from the three wise men that a King was born, and they had come afar with gifts. Herod plotted to kill baby Jesus, and it is recorded in the Bible that he ordered the death of children from ages two and below. The lesson is you don’t know who your enemies are, so while you are progressing just keep your mouth shut.

    • lah.

      June 3, 2014 at 11:36 pm

      I read all the comments they are all good everyone has a story, I’m enjoying this, however this is the wisest comment so far. God bless you because you have made me wiser by your words (just me)

  45. Pretty

    June 3, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    Just keep shut or else you go hear am. I was dating a guy and i told a close friend about this guy.My friend met this guy and i didn’t know she wanted to experience all that i had been telling her. Na so she snatch the bobo from me ooooh. I almost had heart attack. Ever since then, i no dey talk oooh. Although my friends always complain that i never say anytin about my relationship and they tell me theirs but i dont want once bitten twice shy oooooooh.

  46. Dove

    June 3, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    I would rather not spill, I remember back in college, I was in a relationship that led nowhere with people saying all sort. When I met my husband we agreed to be discreet about it. None of my friends knew him. I invited them for my wedding and they were asking “where did you get husband from and he wants to marry you” who says that on ones wedding day.

  47. Busarni

    June 3, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    All of you are now angels. Lets face it, we all have an atom of envy in us all,self denial no go gree una. Your friends are all getting married, globetrotting et al and you don’t have an atom of envy? You lie, the bad aspect of it depends on how you act on the envious thought. Please if you are not emotionally strong and mature, don’t share your life history on social network. You wan go shit you post, you want eat, you post, you go vacation; vacay tinz. Haba, na only you. Isio thank you for this topic, at least we know what our celebrities face.

    • Tola

      June 3, 2014 at 9:17 pm

      That is where you are wrong. Not all of us do envy. It is an emotion I happen not to understand. Most of my friends are married but I am not envious at all. Some I was genuinely happy for and I attended their weddings and played a huge role. The rest, I didn’t particularly care for and I didn’t bother going not to talk of ask ebi. Marriage wasn’t doing me when they were getting married, so there wasn’t anything to envy. Envy is wanting what someone else has and want to take it from them. If marriage wasn’t doing me at the time, there is nothing to envy. I had my sights on much bigger goals. You may say yimu and I will counter act it by saying my own flaw is that I am competitive and I let the successes of other push me to do more for myself, not to take away from their joy. I hear a friend got promoted, I push myself to do better at my own job. The additional degree I have gotten that is now the best decision of my life was the result of a good friend telling me she was going for further education. Not to glorify myself but me following in her footsteps got me a waaaaay better job than she has now, she is the one now envying me. Telling people that if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have gone to do my own degree. With pushing myself, I know my limits. If the good news story is not in an area I am interested in, I smile, wish them well and move on. I haven’t met one friend that I envy her marriage and that’s the truth. Not one have I seen years after and say aaaaaw, I want what she and her husband have. Many of them rushed into it and are now telling me they wished they waited. Envy isn’t something I do at all because people’s lives are like an iceberg, you only see the small part, which may shine and glisten at the top only for the mess to be beneath the surface that people don’t share. Globetrotting around the world, my Facebook page is full of my trips, I have been told by family to stop so people don’t beef me. The root behind envy is contentment or the lack of it. If you have done well for yourself within the confines of things you can control, envy will be an emotion you succumb to less and less. Okay I envied my cousin when she had twins. Hehehehehehe. Does that count? Considering she hasn’t slept well in like 18months, pregnancy included, the envy disappeared sharp sharp when I saw how tired and worn out she looks. Sorry for the epistle

    • Busarni

      June 3, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      @Tola; well said. The point is; action you take on your envious thought will determine whether it is good or bad. You went for a degree cos of your friend; that action is positive so not necessarily envious. My point is, when friends or close relations have things happening for them, there is always a jot of envy in our minds. We will all deny it, hunnay; that’s the human mind. It is programmed to work that way. I read through most of the comments and i was just laughing cos it is typical human mind comments. Every body is now a victim. When you read books on mind programming, you will understand how the mind works.
      How come all the comments, nobody mentioned ever being the winch winch person; or is it that all blog visitors are holier than thou #yimu. The world (Nigeria ) will be a better place if it were true.

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      June 4, 2014 at 9:48 am

      You’re not envious yet you say you have a better job than your friend.
      You’re not envious yet you undermine their marriage saying you had your sight on BIGGER things. Why not OTHER things? You are actually jealous and you have a complex.

    • Jane Public

      June 4, 2014 at 10:04 am

      I think that statement is open to interpretation. To some women marriage is not the ultimate or an achievement and their are much bigger things that you can attain as a woman. It is only when you see marriage as an achievement that you will feel offended by anyone writing that they had their sights on much bigger things. Again it is open to interpretation. Bigger o, Other o, it depends on what you consider your priorities or what you set importance on. Can I take a wild guess and say you belong to camp marriage is an achievement so anyone saying they aim for bigger things is undermining it? I am just guessing, don’t bite my head off. I agree somewhat that with many Nigerian marriages today, there is really nothing to envy and that’s the truth. Is it the stress the women go through doing 5 million tasks or it is the cheating and high BP they get from policing their men all over the place or it is the no support you get from your in-laws when le hubby misbehaves and you are expected to take it like that, or the notion that it is up to you to keep your home, the man has life on easy street, or the many cases of domestic violence. Not much to envy at all if you want to be sincere. It is the married women that want you to envy them. As for having a better job. That one is clear now. If you work in an oil company as a senior executive and your friend works in the civil service, which is the better job? Can Mark Zuckerberg envy me for example?

    • Jane Public

      June 4, 2014 at 10:23 am

      *there are

    • Adah

      June 4, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      To some, marriage is a big achievement while to others it isn’t. I do not believe you should undermine anyone’s achievement simply because you do not agree it’s a laudable one. Choosing a counselling job over a managerial role in an Oil firm does not mean the former has achieved less than you for example.
      Stop comparing your self with your friends to measure your success. Full stop

  48. Tincan

    June 3, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    How very interesting. Great topic as usual Isio. I used to think Nigerians were just really paranoid but after reading some of the comments here maybe peeps are justified. As for Oompah Loopma’s story, really? Really? That’s another level, like split personality levels….

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      June 12, 2014 at 1:48 am

      @JanePublic, since you assume I’m from the camp where people think marriage is an achievement, I also safely assume that you’re unintelligent? Because you know, your comment highly suggests that you are. Please do not bite my head off either.

  49. ok

    June 4, 2014 at 11:55 am

    First tym am putting a comment on bella naija, First tym i finished reading all the comment on a post, isio u got me here……this is a very great topic and i v learnt so much.

  50. Ohgawd

    June 4, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    Matthew 10:36 – For a man’s enemies shall be the members of his own household…
    Right about sums it up.
    The people that are close to you have the power to pull it all down…
    That said i believe it sharing…not avowed excessive display of “love” all over the place…
    I once had a friend put a pic of her husbands pecs on her bbm the day to his birthday…and he is very buff, it was a fine ass pic of whatever she enjoys in her bedroom when the doors are shut…
    I responded, I will be at your house tomorrow, with my $1 bills , i hope you will let him dance for us all…
    Picture taken down…
    There is sharing and there is displaying…
    Be wise…

    • Matriarch

      June 5, 2014 at 8:23 am

      That was very rude and condescending of you to talk about her man’s pic like that. And you seem happy that she took it down. You’re self righteous and disrespectful. You need to learn to respect boundaries. It’s not like she put a pic of his baby maker. I would’ve told you to come with your dirty dollar bills., let me set my pit bulls on your ass.

    • B!

      June 24, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      Oh Gawd you are a really nasty person!

  51. XteriAyaoba

    August 28, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Ok so everyone has been commenting about being the victim. well i have been the victim and i have also dished my fair share of secrecy to very close friends. Coming from a large nuclear and extended family, I learnt very fast that envy, jealousy and winsh winsh is very real! The more of your affair you keep private, the better for you.
    When I moved abroad, only my mum and sisters knew! my close friends as in ”ti mo ti mo” did not know, one that even helped me run around Abuja while trying to attest my certificates (under the pretext that it was for my cousin going abroad), did not hear until months after he had stalked and called my sister to frustration! she started threatening to tell him my whereabouts, only then did i call to say where i was. Boy oh boy, the melt down/betrayal he suffered cannot be explained on BN. A few other of my friends are not speaking to me today because i never say anything happening in my life. when/if i post anything and you ask me ”i simply say the Lord has been good to me” woh i can’t shout! I pray and apply wisdom in keeping my affairs private., unless i see fit to do otherwise!

    oh you are free to dish the same to me as well, because i don’t care what happens in your life. If you chose to tell me of your own freewill by all means go ahead but don’t expect that gesture to be reciprocated!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tangerine Africa

Star Features

css.php