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Toolz’ Thoughts: Nah! Don’t Wear That To A Wedding

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This topic almost kicked off another world war at my friend’s birthday dinner a few weeks ago. Her cousin Marie*, was showing us a picture of what she planned to wear to a wedding. Another friend Sarah* felt the dress was way too raunchy. Marie had made her aso-ebi into a very fitted mid thigh dress.

Now, Marie is built like a black amazon: fairly tall, ‘buxom’ with a traffic stopping derriere.So you can imagine how she would look in a super-fitted short dress. Sarah felt that the outfit was perfect for clubbing, but not for a wedding. I listened to both of them arguing for a while, deciding not to get involved because hey it’s not like Tom Ford is my cousin. Also, if I was built like Marie, I probably would want to show off every chance I got.

Things got a bit heated when Sarah said ‘You are only wearing that outfit to the wedding to find a man, and I’m not sure what kind of man you think you will find with that outfit’.
Marie branded Sarah a hater, turned to me and said ‘Do you think the dress is too sexy for a wedding Tolu?’.
I looked at the picture again, and answered ‘Well, I think that because of your figure, you would get a huge amount of attention. It’s beautiful, but to be honest it is quite short’

The conversation moved on to wedding outfit etiquette. What ARE the rules for dressing for a wedding?

I recently went to a wedding where the invitation included a dress code – women shouldn’t wear white, and should refrain from short dresses. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw this on an invitation; but I thought, it is what the couple wants, so it’s best to be respectful and stick to their rules (and I feared getting bounced)

Anyway, back to my personal wedding outfit rules. I personally do my best to look nice – but generally refrain from wearing something that would be ‘too anything’ i.e: too loud, too sexy, basically anything that would have too much attention on me. I read this in a magazine somewhere: ‘It’s not your day, it’s all about the bride (couple)….respect that and dress appropriately’.

I remember going to a wedding a few years ago, and the groom’s ex girlfriend walked past in a dress with a slit so high, we almost caught a glimpse of her ovaries. Her outfit got a lot of attention, and at one point I thought the bride’s mother was going to tackle her and drag her out because she kept walking up and down the venue.

Different cultures may mean different rules, but every culture has what is considered to be an ‘acceptable’ way to dress as a guest to wedding.

I came across this hilarious list of “Things to Never, Ever Wear to a Wedding” by Cosmopolitan Magazine:

– A White Dress
Maybe it’s an old-fashioned, old-school rule. Maybe the bride is super cool, but wearing a white dress to a wedding just makes you look like an a**hole. Really, you couldn’t choose any other dress?

– A Super Short Dress
When you’re attending a wedding single—and you’re ready to mingle with some hot groomsmen—you might feel tempted to throw on your tiniest mini-dress, but you should definitely resist that temptation.

– A Red Dress
Wearing red is an attention-grabber, and it is rude to try to take attention from the bride.

– A Super Tight Dress
If we can see your belly button, areola, and/or cameltoe outline through your dress—newsflash!—it’s too tight to wear to a wedding.

– More Makeup Than a Cirque Du Soleil Acrobat
Your friend/family members/frenemy’s wedding may seem like a theatrical event. But you are not its star.

– Head-to-Toe Black
Unless you’re crashing your ex’s nuptials hoping to make a “statement,” it’s better not to dress as if you’re heading to a funeral.

– Club Attire to a Wedding
This just screams TACKY! Clubwear, overtly sexy clothing (see-through etc) doesn’t belong at a wedding and shouldn’t be worn out of respect for your hosts .

– A dress with a plunging neckline

– Jeans

The list is tongue-in-cheek, but do you agree/disagree with it? Are there any additional rules you think should be added? Most importantly, what do you consider to be a ‘tasteful’ wedding outfit?

*Names have been changed to prevent me from being lynched by friends.

ToolzO is an award-winning on-air personality who currently presents ‘The Midday Show with Toolz’ on the Beat 99.9FM (Lagos), 'Afrobeat News' on Capital Xtra (UK) and Ndani TV’s The Juice on DSTV Africa Magic Entertainment. You can find out more about Toolz by visiting www.ToolzO.net and @ToolzO on Twitter and Instagram.

108 Comments

  1. Fashionista

    August 6, 2014 at 10:14 am

    When you dress up for a wedding, like you’re going to the club, its just tacky! I ve seen many iterations of this worrying “sex on a stick” trend at weddings and its just wrong – nothing “sexy” about it at all!

    1
  2. Houston Bey

    August 6, 2014 at 10:20 am

    hmm Toke wore red dress with a high slit to the last wedding she attended (not appropriate) and TIWA SAVAGE wore cream to Dr Sid’s wedding, both inappropriate and bitchie toward the bride…I agree 100% with Toolz!

    1
    • corolla

      August 6, 2014 at 1:03 pm

      Sigh! your venom towards this girl is repulsive and disgusting! Ask yourself, what has Toke personally done to you?Abi is she responsible for the spread of ebola?

      1
    • Hurperyeahmie

      August 6, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      you have serious issues haba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, biko choose between MFM and T.B Joshua for deliverance ‘cos you need it

      1
    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 6:32 pm

      @Houston Bey: did you hear the bride complaining? she took photos with them..u ppl should stop taking panadol for headache someone else doesn’t even have…Tiwa looked stunning…Tania looked gorg and Toke was glam..y’all let them be pls!!!

      1
    • Anon

      August 6, 2014 at 7:50 pm

      Tiwa’s dress wasn’t cream. It looked like hues of gold and champagne.

      1
    • J

      August 7, 2014 at 12:27 am

      besides the top of Toke’s attire. I tire!

      1
    • iba

      August 7, 2014 at 2:07 am

      hehehehehe
      Toolz good write up there.

      1
  3. Zama

    August 6, 2014 at 10:21 am

    I totally agree with the above mentioned. People need to dress appropriately for different functions. You should of added a NO for takkies/sneakers and t-shirts for boys/men.

    1
  4. BlueEyed

    August 6, 2014 at 10:22 am

    I think the list is true, however cool or non chalant u think the bride (couple) is, be respectful not to steal her thunder. Esp with women who got a lot going than an NBA all star game.

    1
  5. Mz. Beehave

    August 6, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Thank you Toolz!! I swear some of the outfits you see at weddings these days can leave one speechless. Girls seem to have lost the plot. And the lateness to wedding venues… Tjo!! Can make one scream… The whole idea of going to a friend’s wedding is to celebrate and witness the union from beginning to end; not only when it’s time to party. Thank you for highlighting the dress-code bit tho.

    1
  6. sum1special

    August 6, 2014 at 10:24 am

    very spot on with the wedding rules..Always thought to myself why people come to a wedding with the intention to upstage the pride…like why?tacky much

    1
  7. TANTRA

    August 6, 2014 at 10:33 am

    There is nothing wrong with red. Most times, it is listed among the colours of the day. I agree with the other points. If I were a bride, i don’t see anything wrong with my friend wearing a white dress, as long as it is not a wedding gown. What of the aunties who wear white blouses with beautiful wrappers? Most brides wear cream colour and not even white. Should we also restrict cream for the bride? What of the groom? He even dresses almost the same with his bestman. That’s bride’s inhumanity to the groom. So many other men are dressed in the same colour and pattern of suit with the groom. How do we then make the groom feel special?

    1
    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      Thanks Tantra… I wouldn’t wear white because it seems like it offends quite a number of people BUT I see absolutely nothing wrong with anyone wearing white to my wedding,..I even plan on making my white wedding a black and white dress code ting…and red, I WILL wear red to a wedding…I see nothing wrong with it…
      I don’t understand all this fuss..sometimes ppl dress up to look good for a wedding which I see nothing wrong with and it’s not their fault if they attract attention..some brides too are very simple and subtle with their makeup and attires and whose fault is that?

      and those who wear super tight revealing clothes, that I do not agree with.. everyone with their taste and style but I believe we should all use our discretion….even the most profane and unholy know what dressing modestly is..

      1
  8. 1 + The One

    August 6, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Lol @ slit was so high you could almost see her ovaries!!
    Love the post, agree with it..

    1
  9. Jenni

    August 6, 2014 at 10:45 am

    Now CC in Tiwa Savage. Better yet forward this as an email to her. What was that thigh/bum exposer she wore to Dr. Sid’s wedding. Security would’ve have turned her back wearing that ish to mine.

    1
    • Goya

      August 6, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      Women take weddings a little too seriously. It is a day to enjoy with loved ones. All these stupid rules. Yes, dress appropriately to a wedding like you would to church, party, or an interview. But I have no problem with anyone wearing white, short dress, red outfit, dress with long slit etc. I am not wearing white as a bride unless I see a white dress that I love. I will be having fun while looking too beautiful to be worried about someone’s attention grabbing outfit.

      1
    • nwa babii

      August 6, 2014 at 3:09 pm

      @Goya…thank you!!!!seriously I don’t understand ….though I want decently dressd but I won’t send anybody back if they don’t dress modestly…as long as u are not coming in your birthday suit..lol…My plan is to just have a good time with my friends…my friends just like to dress up and look good and I don’t begrudge them if they come to my wedding looking like a million $$$$$$$ like gwwaaaaaarnn gyalfren

      1
    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 6:33 pm

      @Goya…thank you!!!!seriously I don’t understand ….though I want decently dressd but I won’t send anybody back if they don’t dress modestly…as long as u are not coming in your birthday suit..lol…My plan is to just have a good time with my friends…my friends just like to dress up and look good and I don’t begrudge them if they come to my wedding looking like a million $$$$$$$ like gwwaaaaaarnn gyalfren

      why does my name keep changing to nwa babii? smh

      2
    • idomagirl

      August 6, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      It wasn’t her skin, it was a nude coloured lining.

      1
  10. deola

    August 6, 2014 at 10:51 am

    This post is thump- up for me. Since I saw the official album of Simi Osomo and Dr. Sid wedding. I have feeling somehow with the chief bridesmaid dress. I just feel that the colour of her dress is inappropriate. .. For God’s sake, one can mistake her for the bride…she ought to have worn another colour of dress that is way different from that of the bride………just my thought sha!

    1
    • Doro me

      August 6, 2014 at 11:38 am

      Deola, is it your wedding? Wasn’t it the bride that approved it?
      Despite the fact that they were white, din’t simi still stand out?
      If you dont know her personally, we have seen her bridal shower and prewedding so we cant mistake the chief bride for the bride

      Too many in-secured people on this planet!

      1
    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      @Doro me…thank u…I don’t understand all this fuss oh…I consider it insecurity too…I would not even smirk if my friends looked good like that to my wedding..hell I’d be happy..why should u think ppl coming to share your joy are coming to steal your shine???it is absurd to me…but then again maybe I’m not meant to understand

      1
    • BlueEyed

      August 6, 2014 at 12:18 pm

      Most brides actually favor white for their bridal party a la kim kardashian and royal wedding circa 2011, it’s a classic concept for the bridal party alone, wedding guests not so much

      1
    • ICANTDEAL

      August 6, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      I’m pretty sure the bride saw the maid of honor’s dress before the wedding. Why are you taking panadol for another person’s headache?

      1
    • idomagirl

      August 6, 2014 at 5:16 pm

      Did it occur to you that as the chief bridesmaid the bride picked out that colour and dress for her?

      1
  11. Mz Socially Awkward...

    August 6, 2014 at 10:55 am

    Toolz, say it again, mbok. Draw their ears and holler at ’em, “It’s not your day, IT IS NOT YOUR DAY OOOOO!! STOP TRYING TO OUTSHINE THE BRIDE!”.

    It just speaks of extreme tackiness and an absolute lack of sel-awareness when people turn the wedding of their supposed “friends” into an opportunity to shine like the brightest lit christmas tree in the room. And a special message goes out to those of you who commit the ultimate social gaffe of wearing all-white ensembles to someone else’s wedding – Please, Stop It.

    1
  12. daisy

    August 6, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Totally agree! The height is those who wear club atire to weddings! God help anybody who wears that nonsense 2 mine, I’m bouncing yo ass forget friendship!

    1
  13. Tacky

    August 6, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Reminds me of Aunty Toke’s outfit,. dress showing red bra. im not even against the color, but babe puleaase! have some courtesy, dats a wedding not ur attention seeking talent shows. and u can trust naija babes, dey go dey waka the full length of that hall to be noticed, smh. Totally agree wit Toolz

    1
  14. eesha

    August 6, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Lol, i still can’t get over the groom’s ex-girlfriend part. What was she looking for there, moving up and down at that.

    1
  15. JoanOfArc

    August 6, 2014 at 11:18 am

    Thanks, Toolz. I agree with that list apart from the colour red. If the red dress is conservative its ok. Its sexy red that’s wrong for a wedding. I heard 2 girls abusing a woman who told them to cover up at a wedding Church service but I’m sorry, she was right. They shouldn’t walk into Church in a strapless short dress. Even for the reception it was too sexy.

    1
  16. RED is OK for a Wedding!

    August 6, 2014 at 11:20 am

    It just depends on the style!

    1
  17. Doro me

    August 6, 2014 at 11:25 am

    If all these is about the bride, she lacks self confidence and got complex to think someone may want to outshine her.

    Let the guest wear heavenly white or royal white or white with stones, that doesnt make the guest “the bride”. Infact she is lost among the crowd of witnesses (lol). Everyone’s gaze is on the stage and the duo dancing in…..

    Everything about ladies na wa. Never wanting any other lady to look good or be up to them. Sizing their colleagues from head to toe, …..

    If you like wear coat of many colors to my wedding, if you like wear Royal garment, its still all about me!

    1
    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 6, 2014 at 12:20 pm

      I highly doubt that it’s a question of the bride’s mental state of mind. I think it speaks a lot more to the very evident fact that many Nigerians don’t have a tenth of a clue when it comes to what dressing is appropriate for what occasion.

      We see it everyday on the BN “Red Carpet” pages: people wearing formal evening dresses to concerts and then wearing jeans to the opera (the last part was figurative, you know what I mean). Nigerians are stylish people when we set our minds to it but we’re often consumed with the “kill ’em with my loubs and herve ledger” mentality, which obscures the normal thought processes we should be going through when picking out an outfit for an event.

      Thigh-high slits and an gaping decolletage which promises a wink of nipple every now and again are all very well for that roaring dinner party where you’ll surely be beating the men off with a stick by the end of the night (actually, I lie, it’s never okay for your nipples to wink at any one)… however, a wedding is a celebration of 2 people’s love and union. All brides want their friends to look good – if nothing else, for those photos which will last for posterity – but please remember it’s her and her husband’s day. They deserve to shine. They are entitled to be the subject of cynosure by everyone who they’ve kindly forked up unknown amounts so that we can all eat, drink and be merry. It is not a market square for displaying anyone’s wares.

      Finally, yes, women have to make this fundamental observation to other women because men don’t seem to be as hell bent as we seem to be slapping everyone’s faces with that fashion statement we MUST-TO make during those 5-7 hours of matrimonial celebrations. However, I haven’t been to a Naija wedding in Naija for a couple of years and could be dead wrong…

      1
    • TA

      August 6, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      You are not dead wrong darling. Some.chics actually make midriff baring dresses from the aso-ebi!!! As in eh…indecent exposures at wedding are getting worse. More like a trend now.

    • Virtuous woman

      August 6, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      Drop Tiwa well done. You don’t need to defend your outfit at the wedding. If you felt good with yourself and honestly didn’t have any ulterior motive wearing the dress, then it’s okay. Our actions will be ultimately justified by our motives and not our arguments and attacks of people’s comments.

    • Virtuous woman

      August 6, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      *Doro*

  18. Abiose

    August 6, 2014 at 11:27 am

    “a slit so high we could almost catch a glimpse of her ovaries”… That killlled me :'(. Toolz, enu e mu!

  19. UCHE

    August 6, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Thanks is so true

  20. Cést Moi

    August 6, 2014 at 11:36 am

    This article was written as an opinion (nicely concealed) of Tiwa’s outfit to Dr Sid’s Traditional weeding. Well thought up and written. That red outfit Toke wore to the white wedding was in everyday a disaster! SMH. The bra showing right through was highly inappropriate.
    my 2cents

    • Virtuous woman

      August 6, 2014 at 1:08 pm

      Right on point. There is no need for all these use of social media to communicate to supposed friends. If you are friends, then do what friends do – talk to each other and not talk at or about yourselves or reply via one form of social media or the other.

  21. aha

    August 6, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Another thing I don’t understand is why some guys propose to their girlfriends at weddings. Is that really the right time and place for something like that? Is it cool to just divert attention from the couple on their day? Do they ask for permission from the couple before trying to upstage them on their own show. It seems disrespectful if you ask me.

    • Fashionista

      August 6, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      You know, I’ve always hated proposals at weddings as well. What are you trying to prove?!

    • pretty

      August 6, 2014 at 2:03 pm

      Yes oooooh. I agree with you. Na only once in a life time i go marry. Why do you ve to propose to your gfriend the day i am getting married. Then all the attention will go to you guys. That is not a really nice thing sha. If anyone tries that on my wedding na bouncer go carry am out. Una don dey hear

    • Onye

      August 6, 2014 at 4:06 pm

      Only now I’ve heard such a thing actually happens. Kai

    • ICANTDEAL

      August 6, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      It’s rude, it’s someone else’s day of celebration, save your proposal for another day

  22. +Rare Gem+

    August 6, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Never outshine the bride. Attention should be on the bride not on an invited/uninvited guests~

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 6, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      You know, I think it’s usually the non-invitees who commit the biggest crimes in this department. Those ones weren’t invited for a reason (not being friends of the couple or their families) and therefore feel no sense of loyalty or the inkling that any decorum should be applied to their dressing.

      So the big guns come out, whether we like it or nay. It’s a very valid argument for enforcing a “strictly by invitation” rule for a couple’s wedding reception .

    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      what is your definition of outshining the bride biko? because me I will not wear rags because I don’t want to outshine the bride. I like fancy clothing. I like to dress and feel good about myself. I wouldn’t wear white and I have never genuinely sat down and thought of outshining any of my lovely friends…why would I do so at their wedding? I’m still really confused about this “outshining” issue oh…
      some ppl are naturally flamboyant and some are simple.. if I wear something simple for my wedding and my friend wants to look like a Christmas tree, go ‘head girl!!! But I’d appreciate some decency and modest clothing in whatever tasteful attires ppl wear to mine.

      I think this thing is relative…some brides honestly don’t care about colours and what not that we the audience fuss about…

  23. yvonne

    August 6, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Spot on!….Iv been waiting for an article like this….most ladies go for weddings ,not to celebrate the bride or groom…but to catch “fish”.so stealing your thunder of not,they don’t curr b .man scarcefor market gatts cup your own bae

  24. Sommie

    August 6, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    I really don’t see any harm in proposing at a wedding if you are really close friends or relatives with them. That been said…I am tired of seeing girls sew dresses that the ends are longer than that of President Jonathan’s daughter’s veil…Common #IsItYourWedding

  25. Lolly

    August 6, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    a friend on my bb displayed a picture of a lady obviously dressed for an occasion…wedding to be precise….i commented on her the lovely ensemble and assumed she was the bride…i asked to confirm and my friend said said NO..hmmmm ok o. i asked again: brides mother? she said NO..ordinary guest. omo, na so my jaw drop!
    I think it is very inappropriate to dress and accessorize in a way that you can be clearly mistaken for the bride. Be modest!

  26. Ute

    August 6, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    Rabbish!

    Don’t wear white, don’t wear red, don’t wear this, don’t wear that? So which one pesin go wear nau? All these low self-esteemed gals always having night mares about someone “stealing attention” from them. So irritating! mtcheeeeeeeeeeeew

  27. Nuna

    August 6, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    I dont believe its about the bride being insecure. You visit Bella Naija daily. Have you not seen some ladies who dress like they should be on Allen at night on Asoebibella? Meanwhile they are going to a wedding. Please people should learn to dress appropriately at weddings. There is nothing as tacky as baring your whole body at a wedding all in the name of looking good. You can still dress to the nines and be wedding appropriate.
    Or are you trying to say that the lady who ‘wore a slit so high you could see her ovaries’ in the story did well?
    Doro me, please this response is for you.

    • Doro me

      August 6, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      Nuna, i stand by my words, insecurity and complex!

      Na nursery school dem dey that you will tell them to do their slit like this, their make up like that, their colour like this… just make a uniform for them then!

      i repeat from my previous comment you are responding to,
      “Let the guest wear heavenly white or royal white or white with stones, that doesnt make the guest “the bride”. Infact she is lost among the crowd of witnesses (lol). Everyone’s gaze is on the stage and the duo dancing in…..Everything about ladies na wa. Never wanting any other lady to look good or be up to them. Sizing their colleagues from head to toe, …..”

      Its because of their bad habit and attitude of sizing people up that they noticed that. You came to rejoice with someone right? rejoice with them and face your own. Most times, i see it as envy and jealousy cos you cant wear what they are wearing, they get some attention and it pains you.

      Live and let others live abeg
      Too many in-secured people on this planet

    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      @Doro me I stand behind u 1000000%….maka gini??My friends should show up at my wedding and sekem o jare!!!all this stealing my shine and outshining this and that I don’t understand…

    • Nuna

      August 7, 2014 at 10:12 am

      Let’s just agree to disagree then.
      I dont see anything insecure about wanting your guests to look classy and appropriate at your wedding.
      I know I wouldn’t want someone looking like a hooker at mine. Its a wedding, not show yasef time.
      Like I said, I’m all for dressing classy at a wedding. Not letting all the boobs and body parts hang out. There’s a huge difference

  28. Tuke

    August 6, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    I had no clue there was anything wrong with wearing red and I wore a red dress to a wedding last week, oh well, it’s too late to turn back the hands of time but at least now I know. Pictures up on the blog soon.

    tukesquest.blogspot.com

    • Virtuous woman

      August 6, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      It depends. If there is a colour code for the dressing and it includes red, why not. Again someone mentioned earlier that the style matters. If you are out to divert all the attention to yourself, everyone will notice and if you are inappropriately dressed, within yourself, you will know.

  29. Desert Rainbow

    August 6, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    My dears,that’s how one contractor carried her goods and services to my wedding oh.Country people,if you see breast?!?!and then,the knot wrapper she tied,we could see all the way to her tonsils…Kai! In short I think the fault was mine because I know how crazy this young lady is,I really should have included a caveat on the IV she was given.

    Mbok I was speechless.In my mind I was just pleading the blood of Jesus because even I didn’t understand what all that was for.crase dey get level naaa,that day’s own was just messy.

    To this day,my family,in-laws and friends(who didn’t know her) simply just refer to her as ‘the breasts’ that came for our wedding.

    People need to fear God oh,

    • Eyin ga ju

      August 6, 2014 at 2:02 pm

      Desert Rainbow, among all the hundreds/thousands of guests you had, amdist all the papparazzi, picture taking, dance….that girl was your only focus?

      Oshe fun e

    • Desert Rainbow

      August 6, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      She was not oh,my dear. however,amidst all the razzmatazz of the day,I did recall seeing her once or twice,plus she actually came up to the place where we sat to offer her congratulations. In person and to tell me she was leaving…In addition,she was in my wedding album,boobs almost falling out and tonsil baring slit in tow (for emphasis). I also caught a few glimpses of her in the wedding video….So there,yes I saw her. Anything else? As for the last bit of your comment….English,please?

    • she

      August 6, 2014 at 6:57 pm

      My dear, trust me there are some pple u would just notice….. and those kin pple nor dey sit down one place. They walk up and down with their naked self, u go dey wonder.

    • she

      August 6, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      Hahahahahhahahahah, Omg! I can imagine. Lol @blood of Jesus. My dear some outfits eh needs the blood of Jesus oooo. I don laugh tire

  30. corolla

    August 6, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    So what about all the agbalagba women that wear white iro and buba?

  31. Onye

    August 6, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    If I see anyone wearing anything inappropriate to my wedding, they will be frog-marched out of there. What type of nonsense is that? Are you so insecure that you have to be centre of attention even at someone else’s wedding?

  32. Queen

    August 6, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Just gotta love Toolz. Lovely write up . Iv been watching Toolz from afar and I must say, her outfits to occassions are always spot on. The girl knows how to dress appropriately even when her friends and collegues around her are all dressing tacky. One of the recent trends iv been seeing at weddings now are the crop tops. That should be a no no. There were lots of em at Jude Okoye’s wedding. I read somewhere that Tiwa Savage was the best dressed at Dr Sid’s wedding and I kept wondering if the writer was blind or something. That outfit was a zero for me. Love and agree with all your points Toolz.

  33. David Ologan

    August 6, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Life was a lot more easy (I guess) when we all weren’t attention-seeking. Over-dressing, sexy-dressing and under-dressing for a wedding event are unnecessary distractions. Cover your body well and with good clothing. Skimpy dresses, jeans etc. are childish. And, don’t propose(without your host’s consent) to your woman at someone else’s event. It’s not about you, don’t attract undue attention.

  34. sadidy

    August 6, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    like what the heck did Tania wizkid wear to Simi’s wedding? very tacky and attention seeking imo

    • chichi

      August 6, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      oh please!!.That girl looked amazing and you know it…What she wore wasn’t revealing and she looked super classy..so what is your problem??….lol..You know she looked good so just compliment and move on..yall complain too much..

    • cos I say so

      August 9, 2014 at 6:48 pm

      It was white,before I saw the picture before the story and I genuinely thought it was her wedding

  35. sadidy

    August 6, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    seeing as Toke didnt have her own wedding day, shes been trying to recreate one in every other person’s shes been to lately. its all so tacky. people even more made up than the bride herself. people saying stuff like ”if they see me ehn, all attention will be on me”

    • corolla

      August 6, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      I guess people are to contact the bride to find out the type of makeup she plans to wear,abi? Mcheww

  36. chichi

    August 6, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    @Doro me…omg,I love you…Too many unnecessary rules…All i care about is that you dont show up looking like a hooker…I dont appreciate super revealing outfits cos i dont need you offending my guests..Other than that, who gives two cents?. I want my guest to show up looking GLAMOROUS!!!…I plan on slaying as well okay…Besides no one would be able to resist my charm that day and my joy would be the talk of the night…And i dont need my guests worrying about someone else stealing my thunder cos for one i can afford to share a lil and secondly, FACE YOUR WORK!!!…And if you mistake a guest for me, it means you dont know me like that and you have no business being at my wedding..You are a wedding crasher.lol..If you see someone looking good, compliment the person and that is a good way to start off a conversation and you never know, yall might end up being friends.. I really want my guests to interact with each other…That is something i strive to do at weddings and no im not holier than thou.. I compliment strangers and most times they are shocked at first..Need i say why…
    Now, this whole talk about colour…Im sorry but that makes no sense…

    • chichi

      August 6, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      WHO CARES?!..It is only a colour… Dont you know who is getting married at the end of the day??…Ladies please, sometimes, its not that serious!!!…Love me some toolz btw..

    • chichi

      August 6, 2014 at 3:09 pm

      hehe..forgive grammatical errors oh..lol..clicked “post” mistakenly so i didnt get the chance to proofread..oh well

    • Doro me

      August 6, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      E-hugs baby

      People making life complex for themselves

    • Nuna

      August 7, 2014 at 10:16 am

      Exactly what I’m saying.
      Dont show up looking like a hooker. Maintain a level of class. Doro me, I’m sure you wouldnt want half naked girls at your wedding. That’s my only ish. I dont give a rats ass about all these rules. Just dont show up looking like a 2 dollar hooker

  37. Ohgawd

    August 6, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    Le sigh*

    Once again glorifying the wedding and not the marriage…the real intent
    Come in whatever makes you happy, it doesn’t matter to me as long as many years down the line I am still loved up with my boo in a happy union…and we can watch our throwback wedding video and laugh at all the foolery that went down…

  38. Rhodalistar

    August 6, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    Nice article but for me I don’t think there is anything wrong with the colour one decides to wear to a wedding as long as u are moderately dressed.

  39. Grace E

    August 6, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    I barely hear of men complaining how one of the groom’s friends dressed to outshine the groom…y’all saw Papa Omisore? man’s always GQ ready..Dr Sid did not complain neither did any of his friends..when people come to celebrate with u, let frivolities out the door and SEKEM for me!! 🙂

  40. idomagirl

    August 6, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Some of those women that have been featured on asoebibella should read this article.

  41. corolla

    August 6, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    We women are so damn petty, its effing ridiculous. what is it to anyone what another woman wears! Why are articles like this still bein published? Do you see men debating over such frivolous crap? such a shame!

    • Grace E

      August 6, 2014 at 6:27 pm

      the EXACT same question I asked myself biko….maybe someone can explain to me because the way it is looking, odikwa very very serious!! somebody wore red to a wedding so what???make I remove my bra and use as binoculars? abi use engine oil fry dodo?
      side note: my friends better show up at my wedding looking STUNNING oh!!

    • Dora the explorer

      August 6, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      women are special, sensitive and petty.. Its just the way we are.
      That said I must commend Toolz for this post, it is timely and yet another controversial topic (going by the above commentary).

      My take on the issues is for guests to respect themselves really.. The idea of up-staging hmmmm sounds unnecessary to think that way, surely the other guest can see whom and whom invited them or see the couple’s pictures here and there at the venue etc in essence that is not an issue tbh..

      On colour and colour codes: They are just colours!!! I think anyone can wear any colour they please. White or red can be in the colour scheme for the day (and we see that a lot on asoebi bella, dont we?) I personally might not wear white (of my own accord) for fear of getting stained..

      On club-type attires to the wedding, well just remember that there are people of varying generations at a wedding and your might be inappropriate to the older generations and send the wrong message about yourself..

      This rules would apply to the people whom are clueless and really dunno where to draw the line.. Even in the bid to “out do” other guest you can achieve this and not be offensive..

      The next wedding post should feature the prices of asoebi et al.. I am hearing these things go for pocket scrapping prices.. would be quite an interesting debate..

      Sorry this is actually my longest comment ever lol!

    • adeola

      August 21, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      Men talk if a man wears run down garments to a wedding they will laugh …if his shoes are talking they will laugh. If he made up a stupid combination he will be the joke of the wedding. Men are discreet, women we don’t care we say what we want when we want and how we want. That whole red and white thing can be in your face to SOME brides others do not care its just water of a ducks back for them.
      I guess its just how some women dress to a wedding if you titties are hanging out your gonna look and say damn girl to your friend or in head could you not cover up. Its hard not to see and not comment. But like the young lady said on here what bride is going to notice until she looks back. Its if you are a guest or the brides friend then your like hmmmmmmm

  42. Dora the explorer

    August 6, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    these* Sorry for the typos!!

  43. WeGoSurvive

    August 6, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    For me it about how comfortable I am in the dress. And for any1 that cares to cause a scene, na u sabi I dnt have ya time when am busy rocking wif my boo. @ the end of the day no be u dem give presents na me. Lobatan!

  44. Anon

    August 6, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    There’s nothing wrong with wearing black to a wedding. Yes, it’s old school to wear black but fashion has evolved. Even now, people don’t always wear black to funerals. Some people have black as part of their aso ebi so what the heck?

    • cos I say so

      August 9, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      Loving this comment was a mistake,i meant to comment
      Head-to-toe black is what I bliv she said

  45. houstonboyfromlagoslol

    August 6, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    I dont like this post because you make it harder for us men to differentiate between the girls we can get away with sleeping with and never calling again and those we wanna marry. please leave the girls that wanna dress without morals alone for they shall continue to attend weddings (attract the penis their looking for) and never be in a situation to invite anyone to theirs. the girls that dress conservatively are getting married. Don’t hate on my free-willing sisters. na free world after all. power to the women

    • lollllllllllll

      August 7, 2014 at 11:08 pm

      Your customers have spoken o. Please keep up the T&A parade.

    • JENNIFER

      August 11, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      LOL…..THATS SOO MEAN.I WISH YOU WOULD SEE THIS COMMENT.BUT SHA THERE IS SOME TRUTH TO IT THOUGH.

  46. J

    August 7, 2014 at 12:25 am

    well said Toolz. I don tire the nakedness of Aso ebi at weddings. It’s disrespectful at all cost. Well I know for sure if one isn’t delivered from the spirit of ashawo! they don’t know the different between an indecent dressing or decent one.

  47. Miss Independent

    August 7, 2014 at 6:37 am

    Where is Iyke?

  48. Grown Woman

    August 7, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    Very true Tools, some people can really dress tacky.The most important thing is to dress decent i don’t mind the colors that much Lol i to can’t stand these crop tops trend business

  49. Adelaide

    August 7, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I hope Tania Omotayo reads this

  50. C/10 things to ponder on

    August 7, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    I read the article and agree to a certain extent. I have never been a fan of people wearing “club attire” to weddings. But here is my take

    1. Most weddings are not what they used to be. It is really more of a party than a “solemn” event. Planners make it that way and couples want it that way. People would rather be at a good wedding than SIP (I love SIP). So if the lady comes “after hours” when the party is just starting, she actually has dressed appropriately

    2. I also agree with Dorome. You really CANNOT outshine the bride. It is NOT possible. Even if you come naked. You will be a highlight, yes. People will notice you, yes. People will chatter, yes. Guys will want to take your number or the bouncer will throw you out. But when anyone tells the story, it will still be “At C’s wedding, this lady came naked”. Focus on C!!

    3. Just because Cosmo wrote it doesn’t mean we should live by it. Please!

    4. The only time I think wearing white is wrong is if it is a long dress. Even at that, YOU CANNOT STEAL THE ATTENTION FROM THE BRIDE

    5. I love Toolz and I think she is very fashionable but I don’t think she gets it right a lot of times (especially as she is very curvaceous). So some guests too are allowed to “not get it right”

    6. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a red dress.

    7. Note that there are some ladies, even if they came in rags, they would still get noticed a whole LOT!. What will the bride do then, start crying?

    8. Nigerians are very fashionable. As much as some dresses are VERY “RISKAY”, I admire a lot of outfits ladies now wear to weddings (decent ones…and even the not so decent ones). I have NEVER looked at it like “She is trying to steal attention from the bride”. If you think so, refer to 2.

    9. We can also argue that you shouldn’t wear make up at all. DONT! Your lipstick might be louder than the bride’s. Do not put on a weave!! Yours might be more “brazillian” than the bride’s. Oh how dare you fix lashes????? ONLY the bride is allowed to fix lashes…..

    9. A whole lot of ladies are insecure. Even the most secure of us have had our moments. I do feel like a lot of people screaming “ARE YOU THE BRIDE? YOU WANT TO STEAL THE SHOW” are coming from that place.

    10. Finally, on my wedding day, I really believe (By the special grace of God) that I will be too CONSUMED with the joy, laughter, love, family, friends, my outfits, how stunning I look, the wonderful job the planner did, how lovely the decor is, how my friends turned up and looked stunning, all the money I will get from being sprayed (heehee) to be concerned with a plunging neckline or ovaries showing. Maybe when I look at the album….but the day would be far over!

    • adeola

      August 21, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      O my I so agree as a bride (By the grace of God amen) it is true who will be looking whether your ass is showing you will not know till the pictures …lol I love your comment. I guess its when your the guest you just see a lot of ladies these days with boobs trying to say hello up to the chest. The weddings I have been to have been shocking it becomes a club attire competition on who can wear less and look sexy *sigh* lol. . But when your the bride like you said who cares what is your business but for me do not take a picture with me .lol harsh but the truth.
      Bless

  51. Ify Ada | ChiefWedsLolo.Com

    August 8, 2014 at 4:36 am

    I see a lot of women breaking the plunging necklines and VERY tight fitting dresses rules at weddings oh,…but it ain’t none of my business though as Kermit says. Lol

    • adeola

      August 21, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      Yep it isnt but its hard when you can clearly see her boobs and she knows they are hanging and she trying to pull up every second you think WHY … I cant lie I am one of those people who tends to spot those over sexy dress code and I am always shocked amazed and open my mouth like I am catching flys kmt shame on me

  52. Mimi

    August 10, 2014 at 4:20 am

    Not sure I truly agree with not wearing red… You have to wear it well to not make yourself center of attn.
    But I agree with all these suggestions. When you wear something too anything to a wedding, it just makes you a target whether for aunties and uncle to gossip abiut your outfit, ‘how can she come out of the house like that’ or make ppl pay too much attn to you. And truly, we aren’t here at the weddingg to be celebrating you and all your beauty and assets

  53. DFD

    August 10, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    #is it ur wedding?# The culprits know what they are doing. Dressing inappropriate for a wedding. It’s obvious they do it on purpose because they always attend the reception at the middle of the event so that they can be noticed by everyone. I call them “Daughters of Jezebel’ when I see them around. Every clothe has where is to be worn to and a reason why we should be dressed in that manner.

  54. Nky

    August 11, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    Please who knows what shade/color of lipstick toolz is wearing in the picture? I absolutely love it and have been looking for a lovely shade of nude lipstick for dark skinned ladies? Thanks

    • missNK

      August 15, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      it looks like revlon mink

  55. aisha

    August 13, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Toolz you are simply the best! i totally agree with you on dis cus the way and manner ladies dress to weddings now,you wonder if they are about to steal the groom away.

  56. Princess Mimi

    August 16, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    My sister wants me as the maid of honour for her wedding to wear a red dress. What do I do?

  57. adeola

    August 21, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Well I agree ladies some of us need to dress well for weddings. No boobs over flowing and slits so high you can see your private. Then when your dancing everything is lose you look tacky. Then you get the attention from guys you really don’t need attention from as they see you as a easy target cause your boobs are trying to say hello to everyone. Ladies let us dress well we can still be sexy and show less and be elegant as well.. The whole no red no white well… it can seem a bit in your face when you do that ME personally would never wear white or red to a wedding.
    Plus LORD all those ladies that know they have big stomach boobs and bum and wear short dresses why like seriously your not comfortable your killing yourself wearing body magic to keep yourself to together and even so your boobs are still popping out to say hello WHY stay sexy and elegant cover up little exposure. If it because of man you will only attract the wrong kind leave something to the imagination.
    Bless

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