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1 in 3 Nigerian Women Experience Domestic Violence – Counselor





A U.K.-based women empowerment coach and counselor, Felicity Okolo, said on Saturday that one in three Nigerian women experienced fatal domestic violence.

Okolo also advised couples who faced domestic violence to avoid friends who encouraged family break-up.

The counselor, a victim of domestic violence who gave the advice while speaking with journalists in Lagos, said couples should eschew name-calling, impolite attitude and imposition of opinions.

Okolo said couples should also avoid the use of hurtful words that could lead to physical abuse and later divorce.

She said that people should avoid domestic violence because it negatively affected the lives of persons involved.

“Persons who are involved in domestic violence do not stop at wife battering. It continues with child abuse and impacts negatively on the family,’’ Okolo said.

The empowerment coach said it was regrettable that couples stayed in abusive relationship because of religious beliefs, values, culture and money.

“Religious institutions have to be educated more on how to handle abusive relationships. Clerics have different views on how to handle domestic violence.

“Some will advise that the parties involved should keep enduring, pray and go and be a good wife and submit to their husbands,’’ Okolo said.

She advised couples or women facing abusive marriage to go for counseling, saying: “You have to be alive to obey God’s words.

“If it is not working get help, get counseling,” Okolo said.

Photo Credit: Phartisan/

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) was established by the Federal Government of Nigeria in May 1976 to gather and distribute news on Nigeria and cover events of interest to Nigeria at the international level for the benefit of the Nigerian Media and the Public.


  1. soniapaloma

    November 2, 2014 at 2:44 am

    Domestic violence is very dangerous, it affects you to the point that the most confident person will have the lowest self esteem. The relationship is based on fear because you feel anything you say will upset your partner, it is never easy for a woman to leave an abusive partner because you can never see the hurt instead just LOVE.

    One thing I know for sure is that, it is a proces and one needs to be mentally prepared. If anyone is going through any form of abuse please get help, take time and reflect on your life. Be truthful to yourself and always know you deserve better. Pray and be strong

    • Aspiring Minds

      November 4, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Your message is at best equivocal. However, before presuming of what you might have meant, I will ask that you clarify what you meant exactly by “avoid friends who encourage family breakup””. Are you are suggesting that those who are in a domestic relationship and lucky enough not to be totally isolated from family and friends, should be talked into staying in the abusive relationship” by the same friends? Is your underlying message that they stay in the abusive relationship, seek counseling instead and work things out? Could you please clarify your position?

      Furthermore, while I agree that there undeniably should be a wider net of infrastructures that would provide help for the victims of domestic abuse, this endemic problem will not stop until the abusers themselves receive counseling. The abuse will not stop until the abuser receive the help they need to understand that there are other ways for then to deal with their own insecurities than using their partner as a punching bag.

  2. Wifey

    November 2, 2014 at 3:24 am

    ” … one in three Nigerian women experienced fatal domestic violence” Really? 1/3 of Nigerian women die as a result of domestic abuse?

  3. Truth234

    November 2, 2014 at 7:48 am

    Our married women no go gree, the married status is too important to toy with.

  4. sandi

    November 2, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Avoid friends who encourage breakup????? How does staying in an abusive relationship help the the person that stays in it???? Please get out of that abusive situation before you loose your life. May be your only chance of survival.

  5. Roastcornandube

    November 2, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    The first four paragraphs read rather weakly to me…avoid friends who encourage family break-up??? How does that help your case if you’re being battered? Shouldn’t you seek friends that will help even if it means breaking up a family that will be broken up anyway, when you die from the blows???
    Having said that, I’m glad that she acknowledges that Religious institutions have a role to play in stamping out Domestic Violence.

    We wouldn’t stop until Domestic Violence stops…full stop!

  6. slice

    November 2, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    my sister, the whole thing is full of contradictions
    “Okolo also advised couples who faced domestic violence to avoid friends who encouraged family break-up.”…………………………………The empowerment coach said it was regrettable that couples stayed in abusive relationship because of religious beliefs, values, culture and money.

    should they stay or break up

    • Aspiring Minds

      November 4, 2014 at 4:01 pm


  7. lala

    November 2, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    Well she needs to start with domestic violence awareness education and different types of abuse ie verbal, emotional, psychological Moreso, are there battered women shelters in place for them to go, in the event counseling doesnt work and the abuse worsen?There is a lot of work and support system that need to be in place before embarking on assisting a battered woman.

  8. Iphie

    November 3, 2014 at 8:46 am

    Bella please check again, this doesn’t add up. It may be typo though.

    “Okolo also advised couples who faced domestic violence to avoid friends who encouraged family break-up.”????????????????????? and then later on goes to say;

    “The empowerment coach said it was regrettable that couples stayed in abusive relationship because of religious beliefs, values, culture and money”

  9. She has to be a victim

    November 3, 2014 at 8:49 am

    She has to be a victim herself, which has beclouded her reasoning.

    Where are the statistics, when and where was the study taken? what is your sample population?

    You are uk based yet you know what is happening here?
    abeg kmt

    • Aspiring Minds

      November 4, 2014 at 4:02 pm


  10. me

    November 3, 2014 at 10:13 am

    the issue of domestic violence on women in Nigeria is really a serious one and should be given the utmost attention but we shouldn’t also forget that there are also men who face domestic violence as well and before anyone comes here to call me a chauvinist, I’m a lady!

    ~I’m just saying though…

    • Aspiring Minds

      November 4, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      Hey “me”, while we cannot ignore that men are also battered, one cannot compare the trauma received by a woman who is battered by someone who is twice or thrice the strength she would have to either retaliate or even become an abuser herself. I am not saying that men battered by women is not an issue, I am only suggesting that men battering women should take precedence.

  11. jennifer

    December 4, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    i am also a victim, wer am schling i met him he wanted marriage yet he has beaten me up countless tyms if i go out wit frnds or try to mingle, he wil deprive me of socialising,even on my bday he beat me up nd lock me in d room, i just dnt kn ow to brk up, i reported at d police station dey mk fun of me nd d dpo said i shud settle wit him dt he loves me. Pls can someone help cos am also koboless!, he only gives me fud at will nd i can use mk up or mk my hair. Am rily in a mess. Awaiting service though

    • tito

      November 2, 2016 at 11:34 pm

      are your legs tied too? so u no fit waka? stay till he kills u.

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