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Aso-Ebi Palaver: Are You Spending too Much on Friends’ Weddings? Watch Ariyike Akinbobola’s Weekly Vlog

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Ariyike AkinbobolaIn this new episode of ‘Ariyike Weekly’, media personality Ariyike Akinbobola defines the Nigerian ‘Aso Ebi’ trend and she goes ahead to talk about how buying everyone’s ‘Aso Ebi’ can run you down.

According to her, “When it comes to high class society weddings, some people will go out of their way to beg for ‘aso-ebi’ just to be in the mix. Welcome to the month of December. If you had 4 weddings to attend on the same day and you’ve been offered all 4 ‘aso ebis’, would you buy the 4 fabrics? How much have you spent on ‘Aso Ebi’ this year? Do the maths.”

Check on it!

45 Comments

  1. jessica

    December 2, 2014 at 11:15 am

    This Chic aint playing…you lot who criticize her are now getting used to watching her lol…plus she is a day earlier than Toke 😀
    I think the fuss on aso ebi is extreme..I have friends who have done weddings without aso ebi and the wedding was still beautiful. Never lose focus on what really matters…..
    Christmas expenses are already too high, no need adding to the pressure! Plus you do not need to explain to anyone that you couldnot afford it common lets live and let live 🙂

    • AsHAnI

      December 19, 2014 at 8:54 am

      See what toke has,caused! You need to keep your hands Down, its,too distracting as in just flying everywhere! Just me but I think she’s just a toke “copy”- pretty much the same mannerisms etc. God bless your hustle sha

  2. Self-Sufficient

    December 2, 2014 at 11:24 am

    Na by force? I still shake my head at the Ikojaiyes, Oversabis, Feelamongs… What happened to cutting our coats according to our size? If you do not have the money, why spend it? Most of us succumb to unnecessary pressure.

  3. Miss_Flygerian

    December 2, 2014 at 11:36 am

    There are friends and there are FRIENDS (my ride or die clique). It’s all about the level of friendship I have with the person. I rarely buy asoebi unless the person is a very close friend or family member. I can literally count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have bought asoebi. The economy dikwa very hard. I can’t go broke on top asoebi affairs biko. Never really been a fan of the whole asoebi concept anyway.

  4. Oyiza

    December 2, 2014 at 11:53 am

    I totally agree with you Ariyike, what i do is if i realize your asoebi ordinarily cost 3k and you sell it to me for 9k , i don’t just bother going for the wedding, for me, i have bought you a gift and paid for my attendance…..yea! it might sound not nice, but c’mmon, lets stop calling people fools, we all have brains….haba!

    • Beyonce's half-sister

      December 2, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      @ Oyiza; I don’t even bother buying an asoebi if its sold very expensive, compared to the selling price. Yes, I will buy the couple a gift and attend the wedding, but I won’t waste my money buying your cheap over-priced asoebi. Shikena!

  5. sammy

    December 2, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    I learnt my lessons d hard way with this aso ebi, I had 2 weddings on d same day and both aso ebi was 25k each,both are very close friends, I jst had to choose d one to attend,went to d market,bought a very beautiful net material in the colour they picked,sewed a very beautiful style with it,and I didn’t even spend 2k at d end of the whole thing, and blv me,it came out beautiful… so I’ve just learnt to cut my coat according to my size, no be by force!

  6. khloe

    December 2, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    This aseobi thing is tiring, like the whole wedding industry in Nigeria is exaggerated, as at last month i had Five weddings for December and each asoebi cost between 25k to 35k, then one Bridesmaid duty that cost 40k. Asin by the time I calculated the expenses I was too weak, and I gisted my BF, he just suggested that we do destination Christmas (his village, lol) and save myself the stress, I as so relieved I’m ending up attending (buying one aseobi) just one wedding cos of the proximity to his village. The rest I just told them sorry I can’t attend.

  7. lolipop babe

    December 2, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    I think people are insensitive, you are earning 80k and you are selling asoebi for 25k when you know most of the people in your circle earn about the same thing…..

    1
  8. Daizzy

    December 2, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I cannot be bothered to buy any asoebi right now! I’ve told my very close friends, if your aso ebi is above 10k, please do not vex I’ll buy you a wedding gift and wear whatever I want to wear to your wedding! I’m seriously saving for future plans and don’t have that extra change to spare. When I get married, I do not intend doing any asoebi, so anyone who vexes and says they won’t buy mine cus I didn’t buy theirs, is on a long thing!

    • ATL's finest

      December 12, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      God bless you.. I personally is not doing Aseobi when I get married. Like I told all my fam, if one of y’all have got the strength to sell and draw money, good luck!!! Ain’t nobody got time for that.. Secondly, it depends on the level of relationship.. I turned a lot down in 2014 & I Wili be doing the same thing in 2015 . for me is a lot of wedding & I had to turn the irrelevant once down lol esepecially when I haven’t spoken to U for decades #byefelicia#. If I didn’t buy yours, you don’t ve to buy mine or attend my wedding simple. Trust me, I wouldn’t be mad at all. That’s less expenses on the chairs.

  9. mimi

    December 2, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    What i dont understand is adding to the price of the asoebi. That is just wrong. If the aso is 20k in the mkt pls sell it at that price if i like i will buy. why are you trying to profit? If u dont have money for ur wedding then reduce the lavishness na. Dont use my money to do wedding. I remember one aso i bought paid almost 20kand when it was delivered it was daviva ankara. I can neve look at the babe the same way that is just too dishonest.

    • Idomagirl

      December 3, 2014 at 7:34 pm

      My dear, I’ve seen where people are planning a wedding and they discuss how much money they will make from selling the aso-ebi. The thing is now a business venture, buy material 3k, sell for 10k, use the extra 7 for something else. SMH

  10. aloysius anne

    December 2, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    MY DEAR DIS ASO EBI IS GETTING OUT OF HAND THANK U FOR BRINGING THE MATTER UP

  11. sum1special

    December 2, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Arikiye is so right and i like how she makes jokes and laughs at them very cute.. Keep it up dear.

  12. lala

    December 2, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    She is spot on.I called for a specific color lace and headgear for men and women when I got married. It was much easier for ppl to find the colors and that was asoebi on its own. So , you dont have to break the bank to have a fun wedding. Recyle what you have and rock it.

  13. J

    December 2, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    You’re on point and hilarious!

  14. Anonymous

    December 2, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    Thanks for this piece. Some people need to read it. I don’t care about asoebi @ all. If i like and its affordable, I buy. Sometimes its not even buying the fabric, its sewing it that is the problem.

  15. mssexy

    December 2, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    this is real and can be listened to from a-z
    back to he matter at hand, a friend picked aso ebi 25k, we got there no food, no drinks, she shamelessly danced we sprayed her, finally food came, cold, full of sand – time to go no souvenir for 25k aso ebi – but why?
    is it by force ni, must you carry aso ebi or even must you throw parties if all you can afford is have few friends at mrBiggs? please get your priorities right, throwing good parties dont come cheap and its no child’s play anymore so stop using people’s hard earned monies to throw yourself one in town disastrous parties!

    • Anna

      December 2, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Una try o! Upon all that you still sprayed her??? I would not have even bought the aso ebi in the first place. To me there is a limit to which I would spend money for aso ebi. If I don’t like the material or if the material is extremely overpriced I will not buy. Vex for me all you want but I have learnt over years after constantly pleasing others at my expense that it is not and will never be worth it. If on my wedding day I did not impose aso ebi on anyone and even gave my bridesmaids their dresses I see no reason why anyone should make me buy an aso ebi in the name of ‘friendship’ Heck to the no!!!! IT IS NOT BY FORCE.

  16. oj

    December 2, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    Ladies about to wed, stop using ur wedding as an opportunity to “hammer”. That is classless.

    Ladies contemplating buying aso-ebi, cut ur coat according to ur size. Do not follow the crowd and their fake lifestyle – most of them are broke. be honest to urself. do u wear those aso-ebi materials again?

  17. Samira

    December 2, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    The problem isn’t the price of the Aso-ebi,the problem is that almost everybody wants to feel among,beloong in “The Circle”,llloolllllzzzzzzzzz. Cut ur coat according to ur size. As for me I cannot spend 5k for aso ebi talk more of 25k,I rather not go for d wedding.

  18. Tokunbo

    December 2, 2014 at 5:28 pm

    Ariyike you have flying nails lol nice…. This aso ebi madness is what it is MADNESS….I promised myself i wont buy this year but i found myself buying 1 or was it 2 noo ok Dolapo’s mums 70th birthday and that yellow cord was OFF THE SHIZZLE…

  19. adelegirl

    December 2, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    When I sold my aso-ebi, I ended up even running at a loss. Couldn’t bring myself to add a kobo on the prices not even for the logistics of delivering the aso-ebis. So I paid for the souvenirs which were each priced at about N1500 per head out of pocket and personally did the deliveries with my sister and hubby helping out as well (had no wedding planner). Some guests actually went to the market to verify the price of the lace and came back to say I was running at a loss because the retail price of said aso-ebi was N13k higher (abuja price, thankfully got it in lagos) than what I sold it to them for. And even when I ordered the second batch of aso-ebis, found that the prices had gone up so I personally incurred the difference and gave it to them at the initial cheaper price, whilst still giving them the souvenirs too. God forbid that anyone would say I used aso-ebi money to fund my wedding. In selecting the aso-ebi I considered the spending capacity and class of most of my friends. Didn’t want them to buy something they wont be able to wear afterwards because it’s so tacky and cheap. I even had people who didn’t know me asking to buy my aso-ebi mainly because of the fabric and the price. Buying aso-ebis is not by force. I appreciated the honesty of friends who told me plainly that they could not afford the aso-ebi, rather than smiling in my face and griping about it behind my back. There were no hard feelings. I would rather you be honest than inconvenience yourself to buy my aso-ebi and then start sending evil vibes to me when you are broke from incurring expenses beyond your capacity.

    1
    • Desert Rainbow

      December 2, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      You said my mind kpere! I sold my asoebi at 10k…because I had put into consideration the spending power of my friends. Even at 10k,some people sent me messages privately saying ‘babe,e get as tins be now o,I’ll pass on the asoebi’.That did not stop them from coming for the wedding or diminish the value of our friendship in any way. It’s really not that serious.

  20. Tokunbo

    December 2, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    Ariyike i was going to buy the same EXACT type of lace you have on above for an old school mates birthday… come and see drama, she called and said only one old school girl bought and i felt sorry for her. I looked at my account it was in red and aso ebi is 20k. chai… i told her to bring it secretly praying she would say she went to the woman selling and it was finished. Next day the bride calls ooohing and ahhhing that shes sorry its finished( EUREKA), i started to form angry o but at the same time interjecting with sentences for her not to worry but she kept saying she will try. She went to the seller, called me and put it on speaker i started forming beg o (if only she knew i couldn’t be bothered) she started posing saying she kept the the last piece for herself and i could come after the wedding she’ll be re-ordering the fabric after small begging i formed throwing in the towel and gave up. Luckily i knew the colour, i got home asked my mum ( my go to fashionista mama) if she had the colour, trust mumcy she did plus gele sef and i was LOOKING FLY….ASO EBI FOR SOMEONE I HADN’T SPOKEN TOO IN YEARS?NAAAAAAAH

  21. ifepe nnennia

    December 2, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    The rate at which girls hike the price of their ashoebi is ungodly.most ladies will buy materials from Aba very cheap and they will increase the selling price by 100 percent.Some girls don’t have savings all because of ashoebi.imagine a girl that earns below 100,000 paying for 30,000 ashoebi just for her to belong.This is the reason most girls follow married men because they need to maintain high standards.The craze to be noticed on social media is another contributing factor.like I always tell my friends;I can’t buy ashoebi more than 5,000 and we must be close for me to do that.I need to make my bank account smile and not someone else’s bank account.ladies should learn to set their priorites right and cut their coat according to their size.Also the craze for societal weddings has ruined many young marriages.Young couples going into heavy debt.everyone wants to appear on bella naija and other social media forgetting that all fingers can never be equal

  22. Honeycrown

    December 2, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    Thank God, Aso Ebi palava is one man-made problem I’m not involved in & people have learnt to respect my decision in that area so they don’t even bother me anymore! Why does everyone want to look exactly the same anyway when you can beautifully stand out?! Sometimes I can’t even deal with white party, jeans & purple top crap etc. After wearing uniform by force all my life…..primary & secondary school ….

  23. anonymous

    December 3, 2014 at 1:45 am

    Aso ebi is a hydra headed monster, I tot when u are nice to pple,buy them gifts,buy their aso ebi,even when the aso ebi looks like what your yr old niece painted, in my office there is always an aso ebi to buy, ur colleague’s mother’s birthday.The next day the same colleague’s wedding, b4 u know it the colleague is naming a baby, b4 the yr ends u have spent 14 0r 20k on one coworker, my mum used to say buy it so u would be in good book of the coworker, more ova my mantra is friends are bought a friend would be surprised am on the way to her hs bought tastee for their whole family but I have changed aiye ofe eni foro, when u need them most they wont b dere for u, every friend or colleague is rooting for themselves, nobody loves any body, its not abt the money life is for rent, my salary is just 80k, come next yr, I would rather pay for complete Internet bundle use it to read bella naija in and out?

  24. Ariyike

    December 3, 2014 at 7:20 am

    Thanks for your comments.

  25. Bella

    December 3, 2014 at 8:24 am

    Excellent video Ariyike. The key is to ensure that your aso ebi is reasonably priced. 10,000 is reasonable, at the very highest, 15,000. If I am not on your bridal train and your aso ebi is highly priced for eg 20,000, I won’t buy it. I spent so much on weddings last year that I failed to accumulate any savings at all. When I get married, I will ensure that my aso ebi costs nothing more than 10,000. The trend of making it so expensive to attend weddings is ridiculous. In fact some people won’t even send you invitations if you don’t buy their asoebi! Lol

    • Idomagirl

      December 3, 2014 at 7:36 pm

      10K is too much sef. The highest i’ve ever spent on asoebi is 6k (just the fabric), I put my foot down and refused to spend more. No be by force.

  26. ade

    December 3, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    There seem to be a general concensus that 10k is reasoanbly for aso ebi. by whose standard if i may ask?

  27. Idomagirl

    December 3, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Well said. This asoebi palava is getting out of hand, in the months of December(Christmas) or April (Easter) because of the holidays, you can get like 6 or 7 asoebis at once and most from random people. Someone you haven’t spoken to in years will just call you out of the blues to buy her asoebi, or a random co-worker who doesn’t give a toss about just shows up at your desk with her asoebi.

    Thank God say to talk no no dey hard me…

  28. DiivneDiva

    December 3, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    thank u for stating this fact…i think the whole aso-ebi concept is been abused and misunderstood…in yoruba aso means (clothes) ebi means (family)…it has explained itself…i mean some people actually buy aso-ebis when don’t even know the bride or the groom….sigh…
    there’s this particular girl i know that buys every aso-ebi that comes her way…Lord help her future partner..he needs to open a savings account for aso-ebi….

  29. God's best

    December 3, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    I can’t begin to explain what I’ve gone through with friends over this aso ebi matter, infact, a friend has stopped talking to me because I cannot buy her aso ebi, fortunately for me I cannot buy anybody’s aso ebi this december and I have decided not buy anyone’s aso ebi again especially when this so called friends make it their birthright to buy their overpriced aso ebi. Hubby and I are struggling to balance finances on the home front and some insensitive friend expects me to pump in the little I get on her aso ebi, I wish her all the best in her marriage, if she invites me, i will go if not I will sit in my house and take care of my family, shikena…

  30. Babe

    December 4, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    This year, I have only bought 2-3 aso-ebis and maybe attended 6 weddings. Aint nobody got time for that. If your aso-ebi is more than 10K I will just package half of the money for you on your wedding day and wear what I have. No time…Especially in these days of gele and beads wearing plus professional make up. Over 30K to attend one someborrys wedding. haha NO o

  31. cleo

    December 4, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Abi is it the asoebi that one will pay for and see fabric you dont like and will never wear. I paid for one recently and the fabric came, it was a different colour and very dull colour. I dashed it out immediately. And i am so not attending. No asoebi for me again. Thank God i have made up my mind not to sell asoebi for my ow. So i cant be bothered.

  32. eeftee

    December 10, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    I hope some ppl will not end up in hell due to aso ebi over-inflation because the bible says every unrighousness is a sin. I don’t think it is a righteous thing for one to exploit other ppl because of wedding celebration. I hope I didn’t sound like a saint or put up an holier than thou attitude ooo#lol#

  33. ATL's finest

    December 12, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    Omg!!!! She sound just like me.. Standing by her No, like I always say, early 2014, I stopped by very asoebi that came my way.. Someone I barely speak to messaged me via FBk and the cost of her Asoebi. I just ignored it, A cousin I haven’t spoken to in decades want me to buy asoebi and be a bridesmaid, I turned her & everything down. If the relationship isn’t there forget it. If the price is $500 count me out.. Especially in the States, finding a great tailor is one thing, paying to make the material is another thing. Let’s not talk about the $200 above asoebi that folks are selling these days.

    • ATL's finest

      December 12, 2014 at 10:25 pm

      Stop buying every asoebi ( correcting )

  34. Funmie

    December 13, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Some brides ehn, the colour coding sef, na google go solve ur problem,

  35. Funmie

    December 13, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    If you cant afford asoebi, you go fear colour coding,only goggle fit solve ur problem,sometin burnt apple green, autumn leave orange

  36. Tyna

    December 17, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    May be cuz my mum is an owanbe ijebu party woman, from as far back as i can recall, when the whole asoebi thingy hasn’t even gone overboard like this, i decided as a young gurl i would never buy an ‘asoebi’ or get lured into d craze – I prefer to buy a gift or even support with cash before the wedding no matter how small which is what I have always done.
    If i coincidentally have the color code in a smart dress suitable for the occasion, fine- if not i’ll just wear a pretty a nice outfit; as i really cant be bothered if i fitted into the clique or not nor earned a souvenir. most times, I have stood out and far from d color sef (especially if its an event i had to be there)…And the truth is i have looked outstanding at each of this outing.
    Over the years,family, friends and sundry have come to know and accept my stance. I v only worn Asoebi twice my mum’s birthday and my grandma’s. which are over 5 years ago.
    During my wedding, there was no asoebi, guest just dressed in accord to the color of the day- with no emphasis or hassle.

  37. ame

    December 18, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    All this aso ebi sef sounds like punishment

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