When we read stories like the one you’re about to read, we get all mushy and we have to resist the urge to type ‘Awww!’. But BN Reader and blogger at AprilLaugh.com, Lola Komolafe‘s story is one that makes you think ‘maybe the one you think is for you isn’t REALLY for you. She shares heartfelt experience of being dumped, and the testimony of how things have turned around for good. We hope her story can encourage anyone who is currently down in the trenches of heartbreak
“At this point in my life I’m looking for a partner and husband not a boyfriend. I’m at that stage where I feel a certain way about love and partnerships; I’m not in any way afraid of it. I’m looking forward to it and get it done with.” 18/11/2013 I wrote this down in my diary at the said date after an encounter with God after work.
I was seeing this man that I thought I had everything going on with – you know the usual back and forth we go through during dating. Being an indoor person, he spent most of his weekends at my place. We would go out for breakfast, brunch and just chill. He was the perfect companion at the said time, smart, witty and full of life.
He once questioned what I thought about people checking the compatibility of their partners in some prayerful way. I told him, I didn’t believe in such crap and he said, he didn’t too. He said even though he’s a Christian, he is also from a Muslim background and his aunties take these things so seriously. I kept that in the palm of my hand for future reference.
I was in church one Sunday evening for the communion service and the Reverend said:
“Sister Lola, you haven’t introduced your partner to me, when are you two getting married?”
“Rev. I don’t know to be honest but we are still taking our time.”
“You are old enough to ask him questions about where your relationship is headed and that doesn’t mean you are desperate.”
“Okay, Rev. I’ll talk to him about it and let you know. Thank you, sir.”
After the communion service, the Reverend invited me to the pulpit and ask that everyone should pray for me. I thought that was weird but I continued saying- AMEN!
The next morning, on Monday- it was a new month and I sent a long text to my boyfriend, praying for him, for us and for our future together. I didn’t get a response, and I called him out of curiosity. No response either. I ignored and continued with my assignment at work. He called back hours later sounding so lost and forlorn.
“Hey, I don’t think I can continue with this relationship. My family member went to check your name and they said you are not the right person for me.”
“Huh? Check my name? For what? Why? I thought you said you didn’t believe in such. You’re a medical doctor in the 21st century and you still believe in such?”
“That’s what they want and I’m sticking to their decision. I’ve known for months now, I just didn’t know how to tell you but I can’t keep deceiving you.”
Bombshell! 1st of November! “Oh Sweet Lord, what have I done wrong? Why is this happening to me? Why have you abandoned me, Lord? Why me? I prayed to you last night, heck, the whole church even prayed for me! Where do I start from? I’m going to be 31 in few months with nobody to call my own? What will I tell my friends? What will I tell my family? God please please….” My whole body was shaking the entire time. I ran into my colleague’s office and called my cousin.
‘Marcy! *I busted out in tears. I was wailing, uncontrollably. I couldn’t say a word, I was just crying. Marcy, help me. please’
‘Lola, can you tell me what the f**k happened?! Why are you crying?! Did someone die?!’ She hung up, called my aunt to find out if someone had died. Called me back and asked if it was my boyfriend. I said, yes.
“He dumped me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but he dumped me. He said he checked my name from his ‘Alfa’ and they said I wasn’t the one for him”. I couldn’t stop crying.
“OKAY. Calm down. I guess you should be lucky that someone like that dumped you then. If you’re not married to him and he’s visiting some random person to check your compatibility”.
My boss’ wife sent me an email to do something for her and asked casually if all was well. I started crying, typed my predicament in tears. No, Mrs. J….I narrated again.
She sent me to church saying- “Just go to church and pray the Lord should forgive him.” I didn’t question why I should pray for someone who just told me to get out of his life. I closed from work early and went straight to church, in my tears, I prayed that the Lord should forgive him and turn my tears to joy.
“Lord, I’m tired of trying to figure my life. I’m tired of thinking I’m the best thing that can happen to any man. I’m tired of loving and getting hurt in return. I’m tired of so many things Lord, please wash me clean and use me for your glory. Lord, I don’t know how you are going to do it but please, turn my sadness into joy and make me happy again. I’m really sad but I look to your throne of mercy, have mercy on your daughter.” I prayed and cried. I cried and prayed.
After the service, I felt relieved of all the happenings around me and continued with my daily routine. God answers prayers and I am a living testimony of His goodness.
My testimony wasn’t delayed or postponed, because I met my husband through a friend 2 weeks after I got dumped and we got engaged 5 months later. The month I got engaged, I heard that my ex got married a month after he dumped me and few months later he passed away. He died.
I could have been a widow. I could have been so many things but God…The Lord brought me out of that relationship and gave me a man who wouldn’t live a day without me.
We got married 27th of December, 2014 in a lovely outdoor ceremony at home in the presence of our loved ones and family members. God never forgets His own.