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Why Do Some People Prefer Older Partners? FCT Residents Share Their Opinions

Moremi Elekwachi

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A cross section of respondents interviewed by the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) said that the issue of maturity and stability was one of the major reasons some people preferred older partners to much younger ones.

Ojo Asaju, a Civil Servant at Gwagwalada told NAN that most women preferred older men because of the emotional maturity and understanding they got from them.

“Some women believe that older men are more mature than the younger ones.

When they marry men that are younger or of their age, there seems to be lack of tolerance and understanding in the home, in view of this they go for older men.

Likewise, in the aspect of men, they love being respected by opposite sex, so they marry women that are younger than them; they feel the respect they want will be given,’’ he said.

Henry Nwosu, a Civil Servant at Maraba said that one of the key factors that make some men prefer older partner was the need for someone that could be like a mother to them.

“Some men love to satisfy their most important unmet need, they want someone who will take proper care of them like their mother or a mother figure to them and because of this he gets attracted to older women.

This makes him feel special or superior to his peers. This feeling becomes stronger if this woman has a high status and because many old women have good careers their status is usually higher than the status of younger women.

Nwosu further stated that, “most young women are sassy and hard to tame, so to give respect to those that are just a little older than them becomes a problem,” he said.

Mary Arinola, a student of the University of Abuja, Gwagwalada, said she has always loved men that were just a bit older than her.

“I really love men that are like three to four years older than me. I see older men as being authoritative and there is this kind of domineering spirit in them especially when they see that you are much younger than them.

When you marry a man that is a little older than you, you will understand him very well; you rock minds together, hang out, play as friends and even fight him when necessary without fear.

Actually, some ladies prefer men that are much older than them, let me say successful older men. They chose men who they think can offer resources and stability to them.

Some ladies look for benefiting relationships thereby going for rich men and extorting money from them.

The implication of this is that, most ladies become sexually unsatisfied and they start going after younger men outside in order to satisfy their sexual urge,’’ she said.

Similarly, Emmanuelle Joseph, a student said that although much older men seemed to be more experienced, loving, caring which could hardly be done by younger men, ladies still took them for granted.

“I cherish couples with a slight age difference; they are agile, smart and cute. Older partners always feel insecure in their marriage as a result of this, they monitor their spouses.Younger men are really of great help when it comes to household chores, cooking and even babysitting which some older men will never do,’’ she said.

Kingsley Chibike, a Business man at Kubwa told NAN that although he is still single, he would never go for a woman older than him.

“I love respect and I need someone I will be able to give orders to and she will obey without complaining. A woman that will see me like her father at the same time, her husband,’’ he said.

Photo Credit: Hongqi Zhang (aka Michael Zhang)/Dreamstime

Moremi Elekwachi is a Media and Communications expert. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism from the University of Georgia, and a Master’s Degree in Communication Management (with a concentration in Marketing communication) from the University of Southern California.She is Founder and Lead Publicist at Euphorique PR, a leading full-service Public Relations & Marketing Communications company that helps individuals, companies and public figures effectively communicate, engage, and build relationships with their target audiences & stakeholders via digital media and traditional media platforms.Prior to establishing Euphorique PR, Moremi gathered a wealth of experience, working at prestigious media companies both at home and abroad including Wondros (Los Angeles, CA), Wildflower PR, and also BellaNaija, where she served as News Editor & Head of Business Development.Moremi is also the founder of www.queenmoremi.com, a fresh platform dedicated to empowering and celebrating the modern African millennial woman, as she strives to live her best life.In her spare time, she loves to write, gossip about popular culture, and sing her heart out.@queenmoremi: Twitter@queenmoremi: Facebook @queenmoremi: Instagram

44 Comments

  1. charles

    March 4, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    1.”Actually, some ladies prefer men that are much older than them, let me say successful older men. They chose men who they think can offer resources and stability to them.”
    For Nigerian girls,here lies the answer! Forget all those other theories of emotional stability,rocking minds abi na boat, bla bla bla crap.

    2. “I love respect and I need someone I will be able to give orders to and she will obey without complaining. A woman that will see me like her father at the same time, her husband,’’
    Geez!! Hope you get money sha?? This only works if you are loaded-financially, else you go just dey fool ya self.

    • Author Unknown

      March 4, 2015 at 3:23 pm

      Gbam!

  2. bruno

    March 4, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    “I love respect and I need someone I will be
    able to give orders to and she will obey
    without complaining”

    what an idiot of a man. you better invent a time machine, enter that time machine and go back 500 years ago to find a woman that will be taking orders from you like a slave with complaining.

    it’s official, my daughter (if I have any) will never marry a nigerian man, EVER

    • Nahum

      March 4, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Gbam!!! My Bruno

    • ms.b

      March 4, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      Yea, cos no nigerian man will marry u also. I feel Bruno is a lady and not a man. Her alter ego is a sad n aggressive bully called “Bruno”, d aggression is caused by d fight between oestrogen n testosterone for dominance which makes him believe he is gay.

    • NP

      March 4, 2015 at 6:02 pm

      Daughter from the where? Daughter ko, daughter ni. TWEEEEAAAAAA!!!!!

  3. miss partition

    March 4, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    in the voice of @jaykaykenny because they give you good on the bed …. lol i joke i joke

  4. gratus

    March 4, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Sometimes ladies also date older men cos of men!

  5. gratus

    March 4, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    *money

    • Author Unknown

      March 4, 2015 at 3:23 pm

      I fear your first comment 🙂

  6. Bisi

    March 4, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    This advert pic is so wrong on many levels.. Looks more like a Grandpa and hid Grandchild lool

  7. ATL's finest

    March 4, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    @ Moremi Amuta yes lady ( GO TROJANs ) :)!!!!! Well women love older men cuz they ain’t got time for Young folks & their BS :)))

  8. Single Shalewa, Bitter Bintu!

    March 4, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Lol! While growing up, I always wanted to marry a man at least 10 or 15 years older than me and preferably a military man (Airforce, Naval or soldier). Oh and very tall cos I’m a ‘shortina’. Reason? I have daddy issues, i never knew my dad and was raised solely by my amazing mum. I wanted that type of man cos of ‘security issues’. Protection more like. I just wanted someone I’d feel safe with somewhat. I always laugh whenever i think of it now.
    Anyway, I’m married and ironically my husband is just 2 years older than me and he’s an auditor! Oh and he’s not a tall man. Loooool
    But I’m thankful he worships the ground i walk on. I’m not sure who loves me more; my mum or my husband.

    • Nahum

      March 4, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      You are truly blessed. Just continue to praise God for your blessing.

    • Bebe

      March 4, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      Lol at the word shortina….that killed me

    • brownsugar

      March 4, 2015 at 5:22 pm

      too cute

  9. Oluwaseun

    March 4, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Creepy! Why should anyone want to marry a woman like their mother? Would you have sexual relations with your mother? A woman does not have to be like your mother to take care of you. Marry a woman that’s in her own league…. Respectful, caring, Compassionate and kind.

  10. Anonymous

    March 4, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    I think the issue here is MATURITY. Irrespective of the age,as long as both parties understand their respective positions and responsibilities towards each other in their relationship ,they should be fine. Age is,but a number.

  11. myssmyss

    March 4, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    For me, age dint use to be a problem especially when i was in my early/mid twenties… But now that i am in my late twenties, i honestly dnt want to marry someone that is much more older than me. I want a man that is about 5years older than me(maximum)… Someone that is married to an older man told me that those older men wont satisfy u sexually and as such, it will also affect u emotionally… She said what interest u might not interest him and that will always cause frictions…..etc
    In all, i pray God direct me…

    • BlueEyed

      March 4, 2015 at 5:35 pm

      Just say you have personal preference for the young brothers and don’t follow your friend to perpetuate another age old myth (pun intended) about older men because quite a lot of them also put it down in the sex department (they have plenty years of experience to thank for that). Because one person had one bad encounter doesn’t mean we should generalize.

    • Lady D

      March 5, 2015 at 8:58 am

      @BlueEyed, God bless your heart for that comment you made. I totally agree, that one shouldn’t generalize. I happen to like a guy who is older than me (over 10 years) and he has a young spirit, which makes me gravitate to him. 🙂

    • Osa

      March 5, 2015 at 12:52 am

      My dear the worst part is that such ladies become widows early.

      and Because most guys their age will now have been married to other women, and will feel that they are leftovers of old dead men (technically). they will not want to have a meaningful relationship with the widow no matter how beautiful and even young self.. The best is still to marry a guy like 5-10 years older. You enjoy the perks of a young man, and he’s expected (at least) to grow old with the lady, and not render her a widow by the time she’s in her late 30s , and ‘make her’ unable to remarry or move on. See Bianca Onoh now

  12. Noella

    March 4, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Women that marry older men more than likely did not have a visible or interactive hands on dad while growing up, as a result they seek a father in their spouses. On the other hand due to the dire financial situation in Nigeria and the materialism, most women marry these older men strictly for monetary reasons, and the power they wield in society… the Sade okoyas, Maureen ahizes, Dabota lawsons, Augustina Ibetos, and Emeka Ofor’s 24 yr old wife and the endless list goes on…

    women remember that these men can not satisfy you in the areas that some of you might be interested in once they approach 50 and beyond…they are tired, grumpy, old and feeble (Viagra or no viagra)….as such your eyes start roving seeking your age mates or even someone younger….look at Bill Oreilly with all his money and influence his younger wife still left him for a less wealthy man…so money isn’t everything and won’t buy you happiness

  13. miss Pynk

    March 4, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Older man generally =financial security which goes a very long way in this country Nigeria

    Alas i married a man a year younger than me who worships the ground i walk on and also provides the said security.

    pynk360.com

  14. Eaglebabe

    March 4, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    My husband is 7 years older than me and we got married when i was 23 years after dating for 2 years…age isnt really a problem. I believe mutual understanding between the two is what matters

  15. precy

    March 4, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    A woman that wouldn’t marry an older man without money,wouldn’t marry a man her age,a bit older or even younger without money. So saying ladies marry much older men solely because of money is not correct. Personally, I would like my husband to be at least 5yrs and at most 10yrs older than I am.

    P.S: I’m not talking about a 25yrs old woman marrying a 60yrs old man. No, not that.

  16. ng

    March 4, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    My hubby is older than me by 9 yrs,we started dating when I was 18 and we are friends very close and he is a wonderful father to my 3 kids,we live a moderate life and we are happy.i married him cos of the maturity he exibits and his calm nature cos i’m a bit on the hasty side when making decisions but the beautiful thing is that he checks me and also compliments me very well.

  17. sandy

    March 4, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    Marriage is a honorable thing ordained by God he said he found a wife found a gud n obtained favour from God irrespective of d age differ wen u truly loves som1 4 who he/she is not wat he/she is ur love 4 dat person knws no boundaries age is never a barrier nd love is an amazing thing it takes total control of ur full sef I can attest 2 dat! Av a splendid day all

  18. ms.b

    March 4, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    People marry for different reasons and people have different spec. Sum like it old and cool and sum like it young n hot! Sum marry for “love” and sum for “money” and sum have no idea why they got married. In all these, wether love, money or oblivion, what matters most is how u feel in the marriage n what makes u happy. S-it can happen to us all, despite our reasons for marriage. And that s-it is seperation!

  19. Temmy

    March 4, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    I am older than my BF with 13 years and bn dating for 4 years and getting married in a few months.Age is only a number we love and respect each other and yes we are both financially stable individually. Although wen we started he had no job but now he’s doing great.

    • Tumi

      March 5, 2015 at 1:24 am

      No comment.

    • anon

      March 10, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      My thought exactly.

  20. Nkechi

    March 5, 2015 at 1:30 am

    Nigerian men, wetin you do Bruno. This is serious. What if an amazing Nigerian finds your daughter and it’s meant to be. Hmnnnn

  21. Babez

    March 5, 2015 at 5:05 am

    “I really love men that are like three to four years older than me. I see older men as being authoritative and there is this kind of “”…..domineering spirit…….” in them …

    ^^ Did anyone else catch the sentence above? This is the most senseless comment i’ve read all year! Like WTF? I’m married to my agemate and couldn’t have been better. To each their own anyways. Happiness and contentment is relative.

    • Babez

      March 5, 2015 at 5:07 am

      I am pointing out the “domineering spirit” in her post not her choice of 3-4 years. Can’t believe anyone would love to be intimidated or pushed around.

  22. double T

    March 5, 2015 at 10:18 am

    How about a sixteen year old girl dating 34 year old man, heard about it and I was beyond appalled.

  23. jane

    March 5, 2015 at 10:51 am

    I’m 25 about to marry a 35 year old man with all this I feel like the age gap is too much…now i’m having a second thought somebody help pls

    • cleo

      March 5, 2015 at 11:40 am

      The age gap is vary ok. As far as you understand each other and he adores you, why not?

    • MC

      March 5, 2015 at 11:48 am

      Considering that you are “about to marry”…I don’t understand what you need help with.
      Put age aside. Why are you engaged to this man?
      Was the age gap “not too much” when you were dating/courting/being bf gf? (you did date, right?)
      Was the age gap not too much when he proposed?

    • Grown Woman

      March 5, 2015 at 12:41 pm

      @Jane, don’t you think it’s a bit too late to call everything off? I guess better a broken ring than a marriage.Please pray about it and do what you think is right for you.

  24. cleo

    March 5, 2015 at 11:45 am

    I cannot marry a younger man though. My only reason is because women age faster and i wouldn’t love to look much older than my husband. However the age difference has nothing to do with the success of a marriage. I once dated an older man (15 years) and the bull crap he manifested was 100 times more than the ones i experienced with younger men. I now knew why a 45 year old man has never been married. The sex was good, but that was all to it. At least he had good and wonderful sex to offer.

  25. iyanu

    March 5, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    well i av always dated men much older than me coz i amprobably too matured fro my age mate. they will find me boring and motherly. But the truth is maturity has nothing to do with age. after u come close enof u find that most of them are more immatured than ur age mates sef.

  26. jefka

    March 5, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    @ lady who wants a man with domineering spirit
    the way leads to Lord’s choosen, there you will find all the kinds of spirits.

  27. Neimzzy

    March 5, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    Some women end up marring older men because it is their last and final resort. When they were younger and beautifu they thought the world belonged to them and therefore became very choosy and picky. At their early or mid 40s when they would have lived all the lives they wanted and all the men of their age bracket would have gotten married, they end up with old widower or divorcee or others.

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