This Article is inspired by a friend of mine who caught the bouquet 12 times and was also a bridesmaid 15 times; she’s newly married and asked me to write this so some ladies can learn from her experience of being pressured by family and society to stop attending weddings and buying “aso-ebi”, with some friends making fun of her and calling her “27 dresses” in reference to the Hollywood movie..
There are certain cultural, societal and parental pressures or stereotypes associated with a lady who is single and very active at a lot of her friends weddings, engagements etc. but the irony is that when a lady who is single & searching isn’t socially active she’s criticized for not putting herself out there..
These pressures mentioned above sometimes can derail or put a dent in some peoples personality or self-worth..
For example PARENTAL PRESSURE: Some Nigerian parents put both direct and indirect pressure on their children in relations to marriage and weddings ; some parents make comments like
(1) All your friends are married you’re busy buying Aso-ebi every weekend
(2) You keep bringing souvenirs home, when will we share yours?
(3) if u put this much effort from planning Tolas wedding into your life you’ll be married by now.
CULTURAL/SOCIETAL PRESSURE: Friends and Associates most times have an opinion about how many weddings you attend, some friends even calculate how much you spend on tailors, shoes and Gele in preparation for a wedding, criticize you for coming out on wedding blogs or magazines and make fun and give nicknames (27 Dresses, Ms Asoebi , Chairlady of Gele Affairs) etc. All these variables and comments may be hurtful and sometimes a burden but your life is your life and not for anyone to please..
From a Psychological standpoint anyone whose personality is easily changed or pressured to change for issues which aren’t malignant in nature isn’t fully developed or self-confident..
Live your life based on what makes you happy and what is beneficial to you not the norms or standards that society has created.. #Doktormofin
Photo Credit: Instagram/joroolumofin