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Isio Knows Better: Claimer’s Club

Isio De-laVega

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Once upon a time, I was having a discussion with a male friend of mine. He was single at the time, but unhappily so, and so – on that day – when he went on and on about being pressured to settle down, I listened keenly but with soft concern and slight amusement.

I find it amusing that so many people confuse being alone with loneliness.

I find it deeply concerning that so many more are terrified of being alone with themselves and will pour themselves into anything (drugs, alcohol, friends, dating, sex, constant parties et al) that offer them even the slightest escape from themselves. It is amusing again that many do not see the irony… that if they, being the owners of themselves cannot stand being alone with themselves – how can it not be terrifying for another to receive “all of that” (which is who they are) which they themselves cannot stand being alone with? If you cannot accept yourself, how then can you demand acceptance from another? You cannot pour yourself into another just because you are afraid of coming to terms with your “alone-ness” and then go ahead and demand “unconditional” love from the one you are using as an escape from yourself. You are not a “soup” and nobody is a “pot”. Unless you decide to be a soup/pot. In which case, spiritus sanctus vobiscum… please carry on.

Abi na? Aye o’le.

Relax. Be still. Fall in love with yourself, everyday.

Anyways, these I said to my friend, who seemed to nod in deep retrospection. I offered him a cup of tea. He accepted it and then told me how in spite of what I had said, how difficult it was – finding a decent girl in Lagos. Apparently, many Lagos girls were terribly decadent – so he said – and that he didn’t want to be with a girl who had been “smashed” by another guy who moved in the same social circle as him.   Then he went ahead to tell me a story of a girl he too had “smashed” in the past.

So, there was this girl. They had done the in-between-relationships-“do” a couple of times in the past while maintaining a cordial friendship. They met again at the supermarket, where she excitedly invited him to her birthday party that weekend. And so Mr.Man went.

There he met many different people. The party was exquisite: the location, the decor and the caliber of guests there. Ms.Host came over to greet Mr.Man who complimented her new “glow”. She said she had fallen in love and had met “the one”. They giggled about it just before she excused herself to say hello to a couple who just walked in. And so my friend sat quietly with a glass of champagne in one hand. He scoped the lush interior of the party venue and a few of the silent-money big boys who were in attendance. It was obvious Ms. Host was deeply cared for.

And then— the man of the moment walked in. He was Ms.Host’s “the one”.

Mr Man then realized he knew him. They were old acquaintances, you know like a social friend; one of those people you know and chat with when you meet at events and the like. And so, they got chatting, the ol-so-what-are-you-up-to-these-days kinda talk. Man-of-the-moment (MOTM) said business was going well and that he was lucky to have found the most amazing woman in the world. He said they had only been dating for about six months, but that he planed to propose to her at the party that night.

He pointed out the woman who made him feel all these beautiful things. It was Ms. Host.

To which Mr.Man (ala’koba ten kobo) guffawed and said something like, “Who? Her? Please abeg no enter one chance my brother. Someone I still smashed when?”

“I’m sorry… whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” MOTM seemed befuddled.

“My guy, shine your eyes…” Mr. Man continued, “I know you are young and rich, but look at all these big boys that attended this party. Look at that one… even that one… Haba, you no fear? How does she know them? Why are they here sef? I can bet you she has slept with at least four of the top shots here. I know she’s a nice girl, but we ALL have smashed that. Abeg forget that thing jare, lets have a drink…”

And that was how the story ended. MOTM walked out of the party, never said a word to her and ended his relationship to Ms. Host.

Choi. Failure at the edge of breakthrough.

I stared at Mr. Man seemed in shock. I couldn’t believe he did that, and more horrifying, he seemed to recall the story with such relish. He told me that he felt he had saved his “friend” from making what could have been the worst mistake of his life. The girl never knew he had had that discussion with MOTM who just walked out of her life and never picked up any of her calls after that.

I only had three questions for Mr.Man. Putting aside this whole “smashing” business aside… I asked him to answer truthfully. I asked him,

“Did you ever date her?” No

“Did you intend to be with her after you became lovers?” No

“Did you intend to be with her after you claimed her to a man who was willing to commit to someone you never wanted?” Nobut, but

No buts, biko… I told him to call the girl and apologize to her. Because he took from her something he couldn’t give her. I don’t know if he ever did, but that right there is the consequence/wickedness of the claimer’s club.

These days, everyone is just claiming everyone sha. And me I just troway face. I know in my past article “How Many Men”, I wrote about having only two major exes, but that was then and this is now. Things have changed and old things have passed away (of course, yes). In fact, I have changed my mind. I don’t have any exes o! If we are not dating, then I don’t know you mbok.

*runs to grab Holy Water and sprinkles it copiously here and everywhere…*

Spiritus sanctus tecum. Ego te novi. Pax Domini nostri Iesu Christi cum omnibus vobis …

That is Latin for “The Holy Spirit be with you. I do not know you. The peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you…”

Pesin wey no fear Claimer’s club… hmmmn. Some people misinterpret niceness for flirting- before you know it, they’ve carried a big trumpet, singing to the whole world that they’ve “smashed” that.

That was how one day I went to the salsa club and this girl  (social friend) decided to shout so everyone would hear when she asked me…

“WOWWWW! ISIO YOU DID NOT TELL US YOU WERE DATING SO-SO-AND-SO?”

Hian… Me I kukuma looked her dead in the eye and gave her the best answer.

“Nope. It wasn’t me.” Prove, disbelieve or doubt it o. That one no konsain me. No be me. End of discussion.

May the good Lord deliver us all from members of Claimer’s club.  Whether you are male, female, young, old, married or single, biko be careful who you claim and who you let claim you.

Pacem cum te. (Peace be with you).

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

150 Comments

  1. Lara

    May 26, 2015 at 9:14 am

    That your friend is evil, how can you deny someone the chance of happiness simply because you smashed them. Na wa oh.

    • goodiebagman

      May 26, 2015 at 3:01 pm

      Sorry this article is a bit confusing for me. Isn’t a claimer someone who hasn’t knacked you but is claiming to have done so? Person wen don knack you no be claimer nau. He is part of the owners club and is in fact a very truthful person.

    • Gold digger

      May 26, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      Maybe all the men in Nigeria should go take lessons from KANYE WEST. I am pretty sure they will learn a lot.

    • Bev

      May 31, 2015 at 3:27 am

      So right. Despite the sex tape and negative images, the guy loves Kim to pieces.

    • Gorgeous

      May 26, 2015 at 5:06 pm

      Isio, you are not safe with that kind of friend. Wait till you hear who he has told what you all do when you are alone together. I do not, and have never liked men who talk alot. I run away.

    • Onye

      May 26, 2015 at 6:08 pm

      Unnecessary wicked! Thank God I’m a virgin.

    • Teggie

      May 27, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      Everyone is saying the guy is evil, even the runner self needs his brain checked for not giving the chic a chance to explain…Of which I COMPLETELY concur. Buh then again, no one is saying the moral lessons of the story which is LADIES… Be stingy with your cookies, stop sharing it with any tom, dick and harry. #gbam

  2. Blah blah

    May 26, 2015 at 9:20 am

    This right here is the reason I would never date a ‘Lagos’ boy.
    My small chops is ready. My coffee is hot and steaming. Let the comments roll in.

  3. Zee

    May 26, 2015 at 9:34 am

    Lol. Isio de la gbogbo e

  4. cindy

    May 26, 2015 at 9:35 am

    That’s wicked mehn……..you slept with her and you are proud of it but it makes the girl a bad potential wife? I don’t support pre-marital sex for both parties but please let’s use logic here. Stop with the double standards. God is not going to judge men and women differently for fornication. A word is enough for the wise.

  5. treasure

    May 26, 2015 at 9:35 am

    that guy is a fool and needs Hot slap!. it is well sha.

    • wen

      May 26, 2015 at 7:42 pm

      Amen to that hot slap….slaps even!

  6. She

    May 26, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Loool, you are just like me! i don’t have any exes too! If we r not dating atm, i do not know the person! One cannot just be having exes up and down

  7. Scared homosapien

    May 26, 2015 at 9:36 am

    God punish devil! What! That guy is the devil’s right hand man! How could he?! Chai!
    I still refuse to swear for the guy who did same thing to me. Guy was head over heels in love with me. I was still doing shakara, but knew deep down I would say yes. When I was coming around to saying the yes, guy stopped talking to me. Hian…what I do?
    2yrs later, I ran into him and that was when he told me that his friend, whom he met me through, had told him he had smashed me. I picked up my phone immediately and called the zombie and he denied ever saying such. Kai…I felt bad. But, I left him to his God. I don’t swear for people, I don’t have such mind.
    Nobody should claim me cos I will never claim you, even if we had something. Remain in my past biko!

  8. princexx

    May 26, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Hmmmmm! The wickedness in some hearts though

  9. amebo

    May 26, 2015 at 9:51 am

    walahi these claimers.. nd tht your friend.. what a demon…. so wht if the girl dd the DO with him.. was she dating anyone at the tym? so what the big deal.. abi was she claiming with MOTM tht she was a virgin.. abeg.. that guy has jst ruined sm1’s life simply because she is a woman.. gosh men r so hypocritical.. what wold happen if ms host now told mr.man’s bae that.. “dont go there oo, i hav smashed him”.. mtchew.. my own is.. i doont care hu my boo smashed before i came along… nd he doesnt care about mine either.. its jst weird… i hv met my boo’s ex, i hav met one other woman he smashed in passing.. it was normal i ddnt care cus we werent together then, plus it was years ago.. abeg.. CLAIMERS CLUB BETTER SHIFT WELL

    • Cheeks

      May 27, 2015 at 1:25 am

      @Amebo – Even if Ms Host tells Mr Man’s bae that they hit it, I will bet you that bae would never walk away like MOTM did. Women have will power like you have never seen. Bae will just cut Ms Host to size and look down on Mr. Man, which is what MOTM shoulda done. He is no man. A real man, one who really cared, would make sure he is the last one in there and the only one she remembers. BELIEVE THAT.

    • myveryownself

      May 27, 2015 at 2:03 pm

      @cheeks yo head is very correctt

  10. Chioma

    May 26, 2015 at 9:53 am

    A lot of men practise double standards.. They can “smash” whoever they want and still marry a nice girl later. But ladies aren’t allowed to do that. Guys marry girls that are virgins and virgins marry guys who have been and will probably continue to be promiscuous – even after marriage. But then, there’s no justice in the world.

  11. Truth

    May 26, 2015 at 9:56 am

    Now this is an article not that crap I read about washing plates.

    • Ruby

      May 26, 2015 at 12:08 pm

      This is so unnecessary. SMH

    • Jdbadtgyeh

      May 26, 2015 at 12:13 pm

      I thot as much. The most stupid comment to the post being the madam that confronted her MIL about her son not washing plates. BN pls. Mind urself and don’t ever insult our intelligence on this blog like dat again.

      To the matter at hand. That was how one evil doer wanted to pour sansan in my garri by trying to be fresh in the presence of my newly minted husband. He saw us at the airport, came over and without saying hello proceeded to want to hug frontally. I stepped out fast and asked, do l know you? He said you don’t know me? Straight faced l asked again, do l know you? Pls. Excuse me! We were never close friends, we never dated and he was a loose cannon. I had heard he had claimed me elsewhere. Hubby was like what was dat? Me, l said l don’t know o. I don’t hv time for long tinz.

    • nestradamus

      May 26, 2015 at 2:56 pm

      lmao!!! i swear i just gave you a virtual hi5!!! correct geh

    • wen

      May 26, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Don’t I just love you!

  12. kaycee

    May 26, 2015 at 9:56 am

    I happened to have claimed to be involved with a lady during my uni days, truth is my guys wouldn’t stop pestering unless you told dem you have smashed that and also I claimed her to bolster my rating. This lady is sophisticated and acts very brand new. The fact that she was close to me, i mean she and I literally did things together. But she put on that brotherly level, and I couldn’t take that.
    Although, I persistently tried to win her over, but all to no avail. But friendship with her yielded some certain credence, as most of our friends taught that she and I are actually dating. I was able to capitalise on the dating fallacy, by penetrating her female friends, as they never looked at me the same way when rumour got out that I was involved with friends. Although, I didn’t score where I wanted to, but I defended well enough.
    Tbh I wouldn’t want to initiate any subtantial relationship with any lady that has my inner circle of friends or outer cirlcle of friends ( friends of my friends) as thier friends/ex/business patner/choir member. Just don’t know them, is dat too much to ask, thier is over a billion people in the world and am just asking you not to know about 200 people that I know till I introduce you to them (might even be less anyway).

    • Adain

      May 26, 2015 at 10:25 am

      Please, what are you saying in essence?

    • *Real* Nice Anon

      May 26, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      That he’s a f**k boy basically.

    • Manny

      May 27, 2015 at 3:30 am

      What Kaycee is trying to say is that he was an errand boy in university

    • Anna

      May 26, 2015 at 10:45 am

      HAHA! Choir member… 200… don’t know them.
      I’m through

    • Thatgidigirl

      May 26, 2015 at 10:50 am

      you my dear, are a small man!!!My friend’s husband told someone that was trying to get my number from him that he had “smashed”….”ah! That one, we did something o”., all because I refused to date him alongside my friend who was his gf then. The guy didn’t speak to me till after a year and when we became friends, he told me what my friend’s husband said. I was sooooo furious!!! I almost told his wife about it, but I knew she wld take his side. When I confronted him, he said he was tipsy, that the guy just went on and on about me and he wanted to benefit from the ratings, plus he helped me dodge a bullet cos his friend is a jerk. The problem isn’t just the honest claimers but the parasitic opportunists like kaycee above (nothing personal but u touched a nerve), who would soil your name to boost their flat egos.

    • kaycee

      May 26, 2015 at 12:57 pm

      My actions weren’t decent. But what is a man without his ego ?, A lady should try as much as possible to limit her sexual exploit, anything above two, is a red flag. That’s why high broad men’s go for the quite unpopular next door ladies.

    • ms lala

      May 26, 2015 at 1:23 pm

      U will never find peace…..hard life will follow you…you lied on a girl who was a good friend all because of score. Thunder will fire you

    • wen

      May 26, 2015 at 7:50 pm

      Amen….Ise…!

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 1:59 pm

      not more than 2 and that raises a red flag. People, here lies a Neanderthal. How many is your body count. Don’t let me swear for you, but it is people like you that will end up with a woman that has slept with 100 men and probably done as many abortions and they will lie to you so well, you sef go believe they are virgins

    • Californiabawlar

      May 26, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      Kaycee! What’s a man without his ego?really, honey, did you just refer to yourself as a man? Heck naw! Ahn ahn, you are wicked o, so after you didn’t sleep with her, you still turn around and blame her by saying women should have keep their body count low… Dafuq? Really?! So let’s assume your ‘not more than 2 men’ theory has some credence to it, now in your case, even if the girl was a virgin you automatically added your own ghost smash to the poor chick’s body count….imagine if all her ‘friends’ decided to do the same thing you did….just think about that….smh. I join the previous comment to say you will not find peace o! Bearing false witness has plenty curses in the bible, be using them to drink garri one after the other….alusi eniyan.

      My sisters this is why I say that while 90% of my friends are guys, the 10% that are female carry way more value. Okunrin o lorun, the average guy sees a girl as a lesser being, so while they might be chunchum with you, hang with you through thick and thin, be there when your car breaks down….when the chips are down a guy will do what he has to do to beef up his ego and most of all choose a bro over you any day. Abeg I’ll trust my carefully selected girlfriends and their seasonal drama…afterall not even the guys (or myself) are completely drama free.

    • Rebelle Fleur

      May 31, 2015 at 6:41 am

      Well done. Kaycee as in LJ N.E.
      I know you claimed = f*ckboy, which is why whatever friendship/respect I had fizzled away sharply☺️

  13. Lee

    May 26, 2015 at 9:57 am

    that guy needs to fast for the forgiveness of his sins,that was a horrible thing he did to the girl.no one should even that to their worst enemies.

  14. Makas

    May 26, 2015 at 9:58 am

    OMG Loool @ Things have changed and old things have passed away (of course, yes). In fact, I have changed my mind. I don’t have any exes o! If we are not dating, then I don’t know you mbok.

  15. Uche

    May 26, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Isio..the thing tire me. That you friend sha, he had vetted marry his aloneness

  16. adebimpe

    May 26, 2015 at 10:04 am

    That your freind right there, should know he is reaping from the karma that much awaits him. A close freind of mine is still not mentally balanced after her fiance bailed out on her because a bitter ex said he smashed her constantly while they were together.
    P.S- she was genuinely celibate for close to eight months while with this man. Everyone is so distorted for her because she would not even look at a man now not to talk of exchanging pleasantries. It is not cool at all. Not fair at all.

    • tunmi

      May 26, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      The fiancee is an ass. So someone tells you something and you don’t trust your finance (fiancee oh not just Introduction to dating 101) enough to discuss it???? The fiancee gan gan is bad, very bad.

  17. Ivy

    May 26, 2015 at 10:04 am

    That is why that guy will be single for a very long time. What nonsense? U no want the girl, person come want am na wahala for you. Ogini? I just cannot deal with some of these self righteous silly men we see these days.
    That’s how one told him he’s angry with me cuz i didn’t call him to know how he was doing…..he cooked and ate unwashed vegetables, i laughed and said i will buy him biscuit, na hin bros carry face for 2weeks even inside church. As he said that i just told nigga, u are a baby. Shikena. How can a 30 something year old man be that silly? HOW PLEASE? Him and Mr. Man are in the same category, i’m sure they are friends in real life sef. Arrant nonsense! Meanwhile, the MOTM never liked really liked that chic except he tells me he’s a virgin, someone like him cannot do for better for worse. Mba nu.

    • tunmi

      May 26, 2015 at 12:39 pm

      Exactly. Mr. MOTM is no prize either. You’ve been dating for 6 months and she doesn’t deserve an explanation or a discussion. Chaiii, even if she said she was a virgin, she still deserved more than a walkout. Mr. Man, despite his evilness, did her a favor. If you can just leave after hearing something unconfirmed about me, then you would leave when it gets too hot.

  18. Adain

    May 26, 2015 at 10:09 am

    WTH? There’s a greater evil now amongst us called Lagos Boys.

  19. zainab

    May 26, 2015 at 10:12 am

    wow.. i can’t believe that he thought it was okay to do that. Everyone has a past, that you ‘might’ have knowledge of it (although he was very presumptuous) doesn’t give you the right to use it as a weapon. I think he forgets that he has ‘smashed’ (what an awful term) many too.
    Miserable idiot. No wonder he is so unhappy

  20. Flemzy

    May 26, 2015 at 10:15 am

    This story pain me as if na my sister. How can a sane educated homo sapien do that to somebody else. So all the girls that have slept with you, gave up thier rights to happy marriage? The reason why the “decent girls in Lagos” are difficult to find is because they don’t roll with species like him that you have to wonder if they use thier brain or conscience at all. God is watching on 3D
    As for the MOTM, guy seriously? You really had to swallow all he said and act on it without investigating? That’s shallow
    Issorait, we Mau now start putting le boo in “safe house” till wedding day
    Isio welcome back jare and please this your friend did not try at all

  21. jeyne

    May 26, 2015 at 10:17 am

    that your friend is really really an unhappy person and doesn’t want others to be too, the girl na mumu I can never invite anybody I had something to do with either an ex or friend with benefits for a party where my serious boyfriend wud b in attendance biko I do not want story that touches the heart. # waka pass

    • nestradamus

      May 26, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      gbam! i wont even mention their name or tell any stories related to them in my partner’s presence. tufiakwa. true true i dont know you *straightface*

    • Anon

      July 6, 2015 at 2:09 pm

      I don’t believe he slept with the girl. He was obviously intimidated by the guys he saw at the party and wanted to claim he is on the same level. The dude should have asked the girl, is that how he will walk away from marriage if someone comes with stories about his wife?

  22. Adenike

    May 26, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Before I read the rest of the article! Let me just add that spiritus Sanctus vobiscum…sounds like something Bonnie Benett will say?.

  23. RIFF RAFF

    May 26, 2015 at 10:20 am

    More and more people hate seeing others happy. And i agree with u on on this phrase Isio, be careful who you let claim you. WE DO NOT WANT TO START COUNTING YOUR SMASHERS ABEG. I heard that’s why more nigerian men are going “foreign”. Even one pastor like that Anselm MADUBUKO said he likes showing off his kenyan second wife cos apart from him, no nigerian man can stand to claim her in whatever way.
    This just confirmed what i always thought.
    De la Vega, make i tell u one story about one BN. post…some commenters may even remember it.
    One “actress” was gushing over her bf on social media and showing “appreciation” cos it was her birthday. The bf never even claim the babe o. He no even reply sef. I commented that day saying it was not a wise move to be claiming a guy like that who has never met your parents even in his dreams. What if the relationship packs off? Ok u will get another bf and flaunt him on social media once again to show you’ve moved on, abi? That is how your “sleeping around” history will be on social media and your market value go reduce.You should have seen insults. Others saw nothing wrong, some said it is life.
    And i love the way u froze that inquisitive gal who was chooking her nose into your dating life. Always remain “kpim” abeg. Nobody should spoil ya market.
    I REPEAT, EXCEPT U WANT US TO START COUNTING YOUR CRUSHES OR SMASHERS OR BROILERS OR GRINDERS, WHATEVER ,DON’T CLAIM THOSE WHO DON”T CLAIM U, BETTER STILL, CLAIM THE ONE WHO CLAIMS U THE HONORABLE WAY.

    • Just another girl

      May 26, 2015 at 7:54 pm

      Re Madubuko I wonder if he does the same in Kenya hehehe

  24. tomnmenace

    May 26, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Why? why?? why???
    why do that?!….talk like some freaking spoilt arse!!!???
    …..“I know you are young and rich, but look at all these big boys that attended this party. Look at that one… even that one… Haba, you no fear? How does she know them? Why are they here sef? I can bet you she has slept with at least four of the top shots here. I know she’s a nice girl, but we ALL have smashed that. Abeg forget that thing jare, lets have a drink…”
    JESOS!!

  25. Californiabawlar

    May 26, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Haaaa!!! Why evils ‘Mr. Isios friend’ why why why, why evils?!!

    Little wonder he is/was single…who wants to date a pathetic basket mouth excuse of a man? Choi…my heart is beating fast sha….who told me to open link before sleeping now ehn?
    Well, at least now I know my bedtime prayer point will include casting and binding all aspiritual claimers, all familiar spirits & souls, i bind all of una henceforth and I join Isio in cursing you out in latin…my country people, may thunder fire anyone that wants to flood our garri with water!! Fiat!!

  26. Jesbadoma

    May 26, 2015 at 10:30 am

    What a sadistic act! Some people can only derive pleasure from the sadness of others. I am certain he didnot apologise to Ms. Host reason why he is unhappily single today. .

  27. Psychic

    May 26, 2015 at 10:32 am

    just look at chris brown and tyson beckford and karrueche drama…the girl can’t have a life again..na wa

  28. pipi

    May 26, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Thing is the guy must have known about the girl’s past oh.. but the guy rubbing it in was much more than he could take u can imagine what was going tru his mind… i am proposing to this girl now and all the guys here will just be reechoing this brother’s thot…. he just couldnt handle. That guy is all shades of evil Damn!

  29. Nedu

    May 26, 2015 at 10:36 am

    Nice one as always, Isio.
    For a moment, I thought the story about your friend was a scenario from a Nollywood movie. Notin wey person no go hear/see for dis world.
    To say that what he did was bad, would be putting it mildly. And I say this as a fellow man. If I ‘smashed’ a girl, and have no intentions of being with her for the long haul, It’d be wicked of me to jeopardise her chances of being with another man, a man in whom she has found mutual love and happiness. He wasn’t looking out for a “brother,” he was just being immature.
    Karma is real. May God deliver us from joy killers.

  30. Ada Nnewi

    May 26, 2015 at 10:36 am

    This your friend will not marry well, Karma will not allow him happiness…btw the man that wanted to marry the girl did not really love her cause if he did mere gossip would not be able to dissuade him…Men love harder and deeper than women, when they love pride becomes irrelevant, if he loved her that your friend that told him nonsense would have lost 2 of his teeth that night and been bounced from the party…

    • nene

      May 26, 2015 at 7:09 pm

      true talk. men love deeper. that man probably didn’t love her that much.

  31. Anonymous

    May 26, 2015 at 10:36 am

    This is one character trait i hate! Claimants = liars! One hello or smile they claim to know you like the back of their hands! How could that evil chap have done that?!!! Why?!!! Has he heard the phrase “the only thing constant in life is change” people can change for the better. who made him a judge? He also went on to tell the guy he was sure she had slept with at least four guys in her party?! No wonder he hardly meets descent ladies!
    On the other hand,ladies please be mindful of the goons you go around with,they are not worth it,they will be the first to tell you it’s okay to be F.W.Benefits,engage in O,N.Stands or C.Sex and stab you in the back at the very first chance they get because most men are of the opinion,if you can do that with them,you are doing it with every other guy.
    In my opinion,if the man who intended marrying the lady,truly loved her,he would have had a talk with her to find out the facts instead of just taking a walk..
    Finally,the goon saying he doesn’t want to settle for a woman that someone he knows has been with,please brace yourself, as that will be your lot,without a doubt. You cannot spoil another’s and think your own will be better…na lie you talk. for every woman you have decieved or given the impression it was okay to get with you on a casual note…you will reap.

  32. Adenike

    May 26, 2015 at 10:36 am

    But why do people do that? I feel immature guys do it a lot! That’s how in secondary school, a guy asked me out, I liked him but I said no. Fast forward to uni, I got to school as a newbie, and some girls will be staring at me. Next thing I heard from my friend, who was told by her friend, that I had dated this guy. Thank God he didn’t say he smashed me sha. I didn’t take offence but took it as a compliment, and whenever anyone asked, I set the record straight- we didn’t date- now you can move on. In uni as well, I knew girls who prolly went to a party with a guy, next thing you hear is they “smashed” in different styles. Omo! I just decided to stay in my lane, and be wise. I’ve had people come to my someone I used to date, saying I saw your girl here and here, with Tom and Harry, but I was always happy to hear he replied “I know, she told me”. Girls, guys would always look out for other guys, so always be careful with whose company you decide to enjoy every now and then.

  33. Oyaga

    May 26, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Lol.. i don’t know why i found this funny, Maybe coz Mr Man didn’t find anything wrong with what he did… That one would have done in Uni but cammmaannn! wetin consain person now? Just really mind my business now.

    Girls too!! you guys need to be more respectful and stop sleeping around… y’all make it too easy. its annoying.

    • MC

      May 26, 2015 at 6:03 pm

      Hahahah why are you annoyed about what some women do with the down below regions!?!
      Nah but why???…what harm does it cause you?

      I’m neither saying sleeping around is right or wrong…but what a grown woman chooses to do with her vagina is her business and not yours. It has no effect on your life….find something else to be annoyed about.
      This is actually funny

  34. Jane Public

    May 26, 2015 at 10:45 am

    I have a dissenting opinion. He did that girl a favour in a way. Because if it wasn’t him, it would have been someone else. A man who so calls “loves you”, will not care what another man has to say, especially without proof or the chance to confirm or deny or even explain or whatever. How many women will be able to point to him across a room that he has slept with? To walk away from someone without even the decency of an explanation, or conversation, or confrontation, and the rest gbogbo e -ation, is an immature silly twat. If you ask Mr MOTM, he isn’t a virgin either, so you are mad that many men have slept with your intending. The ones you have slept with nko, no be man go marry them too. Is he 12?. We are deflecting from the true koko of the situation. Both men in this story are nothing to write home about, and by focusing on one man’s foolishness, we are continuing to perpetuate the annoying perception that it is okay for a man to feel bad to hear about his woman’s exploits, while he himself can be allowed to go scot free. If I walked up to the girl now and said Sister, your Mr MOTM, i have smashed him before, she would look at me, eye me, probably abuse me and still walk away with him into the sunset, but if the reverse happens, like with this story, the man will walk away and we won’t call him out on his BS. I maintain that douchebag 1 did missy a favour, because MOTM IS a douchebag too. Someone better will come her way, who wouldn’t care. The men that marry women that have had multiple abortions nko, abi which one is worse. Both of them should commot abeg. Nigerian women getting the short end of the stick for the same offence since 1755.

    • Lady

      May 26, 2015 at 11:23 am

      My thoughts exactly

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 26, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Thank you Jane public! Both men are douchebags!

    • Truth

      May 26, 2015 at 11:28 am

      This is the typical behavior of a Lagos boy (not man). Lousy liver livered spoilt arrogant fools. They are inundated with choices so they act childish and petty when they don’t get their way. What kind of man leaves his girl like that because of some random gossip? A child that’s who. This is the shit women are going through all in the name of dating. If I meet a guy and I hear he’s been in Lagos less than a year my heart lights up. It means he hasn’t been corrupted by Lagos-boyism yet.

    • Anna

      May 26, 2015 at 11:47 am

      You articulated exactly what I wanted to say.

    • anon

      May 26, 2015 at 12:46 pm

      The MOTM was led to believe that his babe is sleeping around and is being bankrolled by multiple men. He could have asked questions but once seeds of doubt that magnitde has been planted, it is hard to pretend it never happens. Very few people men / women will survive it in the long run. It is a case of he said/ she said.

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      a total stranger planting seeds of doubt, over a woman you’ve dated for 6 months. It didn’t once occur to him that he may be lying or exaggerating things, nor did it occur to him that people change, turn over a new leaf, become a better version of themselves. That is how mature, decent and responsible people think. Any less than that, he should walk and prove the douchebag that he truly is. So, if he was told this story after they got married, he would divorce her too?

    • tunmi

      May 26, 2015 at 12:46 pm

      You fleshed out my thoughts so well. We know Mr. Man is a useless somborri, but Mr. MOTM fell my hand. I was even more disappointed with how he reacted than by Mr. Man’s nonsense. How can you say you love someone and just bounce at the slightest ish. And so what if she had sex with others before you? Na that be the yardstick for buy wife material cloth? Gerrourahere!!!!

    • aurora

      May 26, 2015 at 4:25 pm

      I love you Missy. Marry me? :*

    • nene

      May 26, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      gabm. nne 2 odekus for you.

    • Hmmmm

      May 28, 2015 at 5:07 pm

      Abi oh! Or women who have had about 3 children for one man and still find another man to marry them and father their kids! Such douche-bags!

  35. ednutey

    May 26, 2015 at 10:47 am

    Choi! Choi!! Choi!!!….pls Isio quickly call the guy back now now not to apologise o,cos if i’m the girl he’s apologising to….OMGG,what I would do to him would be worse than what he did to me,infact Ild send a mail to his HR Dept telling them he leaks company’s plans and procedures to competing coys and also that company money goes missing in his care…before they finish verifying whether its true or not,his reputation would have been tarnished.

    After that,I would now google how to spoil a claimer’s reputation,and ff step by step procedures,infact, i’ld resign from work to be sure that I FINISH him completely,oh lord! by the time i’m done with him,to smash his wife would be a problem.

    …OMGG…im still in shock!

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      May 26, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      Hell hath no fury…

    • Bee

      May 26, 2015 at 5:21 pm

      I cannot laugh at this enough. Seriously, Mr. Man sounds like a bitter jobless person and Mr. MOTM definitely was not in love with Ms Host and in fact Ms Host should thank her lucky stars that God and Mr. Claimer helped rid her of that fickle human creature she would have ended up married to. I pray God will give her someone who will be with her for better and for worse, and vice versa.

      SHAKE MY DAMN HEAD TO ALL THE CLAIMERS OUT THERE, GET A LIFE AND STOP ALLOWING YOUR SHALLOWNESS CAUSE YOU TO CLAIM PEOPLE JUST TO BOOST YOUR EGO.

  36. Zayt

    May 26, 2015 at 11:02 am

    YAAAY! Isio is back! Welcome back!!
    Back to the article, na wa for your friend o! He didn’t try at all.
    Karma is a b***h…..that’s why he’s so unhappy!
    Poor Ms. Host :(…..

  37. Anna

    May 26, 2015 at 11:05 am

    That’s evil. If he wasn’t ashamed of himself bc of your words Isio, he’ll probably be ashamed after reading all these comments. PLEASE show them to him Isio.
    On a serious note, we need to stop shaming our girls for having ‘relations’ with men and hailing men for the same act.

  38. Moyo

    May 26, 2015 at 11:06 am

    @Riff raff, that was good, my own story was that I had this guy XYZ who had been crushing on me since my secondary school days and all his friends knew that he liked me a lot, although I did not date or sleep with him, we were just friends, he also became my brother’s friend and we all attended the same family church. XYZ got married to someone else, my brother was XYZ”s bestman. XYZ then decided his life long ambition was to find me a husband. One of his friends ABC was interested and came to visit and I wasn’t interested, I didn’t know the guy really didn’t get over the rejection. Another friend of XYZ, B asked me out, by now I was tired of saying No and decided to go out with B. things were going on well until ABC met B and proceeded to inform him that I had dated XYZ and then B without asking me any questions, left town on a business trip and refused to get in touch with me again. It was a whole lot of drama with our families getting involved, looking back now I don’t think that even if I had eventually married B, the marriage would have lasted, because B would always have had major trust issues. The moral of this story is that the girl was better off not marrying that MOTM, it would have been painful but I think she should thank God that she missed a bullet. As for Isio’s friend what goes around comes around, he will get his own served hot and fresh.

  39. Bleed Blue

    May 26, 2015 at 11:07 am

    I used to wonder why people were so paranoid about telling others their good news. Well it’s because of cretins like this Mr. Man.

    And he feels he “saved” the MOTM? And he too Oga MOTM, why not make an effort, even if slight, to verify the authnticity of the story?

    Isio, I know Mr. Man is your pal and all, but abeg HE IS VILE.

  40. Fatzy

    May 26, 2015 at 11:11 am

    This is wickedness to the highest level, I had a similar experience, but in this case, I was just dating one Mr A, He introduced me to his brother, who later told Mr A that he had smashed me and that the brother should be aware. Of course Mr A didn’t say this at first bcos he started distancing himself from me and when I inquired, he told me wat the brother said. I explained to Mr A that no such thing happened and that I never even hug or hung out wit the brother ever before, but it was my words against the brother’s and he chose that of his brother. I jejely left them alone. No time for rubbish.

  41. mz_daniels

    May 26, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Isio, I hope your friend doesn’t have your ‘smashing’ history sha. Cos I dey fear am.

    All in all, he did that girl a favour, real men say ‘whatever, it’s her past’.

  42. iyke

    May 26, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Good article …reminds me of a chat I had with a friend of mine two days ago at a gym for a body pump and TRX classes. She’s a bikini model, gorgeously gogeous and beautifully beautiful…the kind of lady you’d want to run your hands around her neck.
    After our workout, I pulled up a chair and said, ‘Can I ask you something personal?’She said yes while her body tensed up, gearing for the inquest.
    I asked her if she was lonely because I sensed a loss of connection in her body. How could I be lonely? She answered. She quickly ran off a list of all the people she connects with around the world on instagram, and face book and recounted the last five dates she had with friends and potential bfs the last two weeks.
    Well, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting as I didn’t ask her if she had people in her life.
    Yes, we may talk to people, but do they really see us? Do they know what we really NEED when we talk?
    That got her thinking!And our conversation went on and on a deeper and personal level …….
    Perhaps this expose will resonate with my awesome BNigerians as am sure some of you know exactly what I meant. My point in agreement with Isio, on ‘BEING ALONE WITHOUT BEING LONELY’ is that it leads to self awareness, a time to regain perspective and growth. It’s a time to cleanse your heart and get back into the position of driving your own life. Trust me, this is healthy and nothing absolutely wrong with it. Remember that if you don’t love yourself, you will always be chasing after people who don’t love you either!
    Folks, let us in all we do, try to maintain some semblance of balance and some sense that we are steering the ship of our lives. That’s why we are magical otherwise, we realize too late that we have allowed other people and situations to direct your lives for us.
    Per the Claimer’s Club, what does that really mean exactly? When did Hip-Hop become Hip – Pop? A man who does that explains exactly the kind of people you are attracted to.
    And finally @ISIO, it’s a sin you don’t know how beautiful you are. Good Morning!
    Dominus Vobiscum! Tempus Nefere non rogamus!
    Anyone you dey, I dey …. Igbo, Isoko,small yoruba, Latin,Spanish, French, Italian,even German ….. na you just dey delay!

    • Not sure where to start from

      May 26, 2015 at 11:50 am

      They say if u don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything. *walks away*

    • iyke

      May 26, 2015 at 3:29 pm

      It would’ve been interesting to hear what I said wrong here …..
      Anyways,it’s that time of the month…So I understand?

    • serene

      May 26, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      I love your comment. And pls, Isio should look ur way small

  43. A Real Nigerian

    May 26, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Average read. Good beginning, but you were trying too hard to be funny at the end.

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      aren’t you just a kill joy today. What happened, fuel scarcity biting your ass? Send your own article to BN. Internet arm chair critics. If we ask now, you haven’t won a Pulitzer before o. Na una know average and A class read. Kommot

    • A Real Nigerian

      May 26, 2015 at 1:40 pm

      Hello, Jane.
      I believe I am entitled to my own opinion. Freedom of expression, eh?
      Oh, and The Pulitzer prize is awarded to Americans only, being A Real Nigerian, how can I be eligible for a Pulitzer? You don’t know much, do you?

    • zeee

      May 26, 2015 at 1:44 pm

      LOL! you must be very sad

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      sure, because everyone’s avatar handles on BN should be taking as their real name or real circumstances in life. Going by your logic, my avatar name on BN can be Naomi Campbell and that will mean that I am a 45yr old supermodel. You are not very smart are you? Mr/Msnobody who knows how to critic writing yet we haven’t seen them write one half of an article. Sure you are entitled to your own personal opinion, even if it is a daft one. No offence

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      *taken

    • A Real Nigerian

      May 26, 2015 at 4:18 pm

      No. No…no sense in your comeback. I simply implied that I am a Nigerian and therefore, not eligible for a Pulitzer. The same Pulitzer that you ignorantly thought could be won by a non-American.

    • hybrid

      May 26, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      A Real N…..I can see, is simply trying hard to stay relevant as a BN commenter.
      Nothing else explains the criticisms when you have nothing better to offer.
      Empty vessels are the loudest.
      I promise to ignore your sad plight the next time.

    • Takeseveralseats

      May 26, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      You’re just a pant! A slack one!!!!

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      Well, you could be a U.S citizen and still be a Nigerian. Your avatar has no bearing. Real Nigerian ko, Real African ni. You whatever your name is, i maintain, that your opinion is still daft. We are also still waiting for your own piece to write. Like someone said above, empty barrels make the most noise. Awon ebi Bruno

    • wen

      May 26, 2015 at 8:26 pm

      Now you guys turn from lashing out on Isio’s friend to lashing out on one another……..please don’t let’s digress(In Frank Donga’s tone)

    • myveryownself

      May 27, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      u forgot telin him to get real common sense b4 claimin real Nigerian

  44. larz

    May 26, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Your friend committed an atrocious act.
    Not only did he speak the truth as he knows it (i.e. that he slept with her), he also implied that the girl was promiscious and sleeping with other men for money. Two ppl were involved in casual sex but only one party is labelled ashawo. Ppl like him stay single for a very long time and will never trace back to karma because they dont think they have done anything wrong.

  45. Jojononz

    May 26, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Yaaaaaaaay………..Welcome back isio, Our Tuesdays just got a whole lot better. e-hugs bae.

  46. peyton

    May 26, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Na wa oh men still do this?? That guy is an ass, and satan himself. This is the simple reason why I hate the way our society is when a woman has been with different men she is bad news yet the men can sleep around and it is okay?? just imagine if the roles were reversed and MR man was in fact a woman, the other woman will in fact call Mrs woman a jealous evil someborri out to destroy her relationship. Men who walk away from women simply because another man has been there are just silly, you cannot be putting your whatever into any woman and then judge another woman because she does same. It is hypocrisy, grow the hell up and be sensible.
    Men who tell stories about women are just irritating, so you slept with her and so what?? that makes both of you fornicators. The standard has not changed GOD requires men and women to be chaste not just women.

  47. Nwachidinma

    May 26, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Wow Isio! Love this. You are so right.

  48. Anonymous

    May 26, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Kokolet 1,2 .. in my room, me & you.

  49. Jane Public

    May 26, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    ………………..i just thought to come back and add that before the judgmental judy’s come here and say oh, this is why women should close their legs, premarital sex is bad yadi yadi yada, so that men won’t besmirch your character with stories that touch. Guess what, it doesn’t make you immune from your image being tarnished. Men also LIE. It happened to a friend of mine. A man that didn’t even see her bra strap, went around telling people that he slept with her. Just because she refused to give up the cookie, the idiot thought to pay her back with lies. Word got round to her boyfriend, who at the time wasn’t also sleeping with her, because she doesn’t do sex before marriage, and thankfully he was a man, in the truest sense of the word. This mofo had the nerve to try and taunt current boo with his “gist” about sleeping with his girl and my friend’s boyfriend decorated his face for him, like major interior decorating and event planner work. I am not one to support violence, but hot damn, i had a good laugh about the story and called him to say thank you for defending his girl’s honour. They are married today and we are both expecting. Ladies, if your man walks away after hearing gist, whether it is true or not, count your stars, you got off lightly, because who knows if after marrying him, you will have to be doing DNA test for each child. Shior

    • Person

      May 26, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      Congratulations Jane Public! Saw your comment the other day re swollen feet but I didn’t want her be forward 😉 Le boo must be over the moon! Blessings to you and yours!

    • Jane Public

      May 26, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      He is very much so. Still pushing the Saffron name agenda. Lol. Thank you very much for your best wishes. Same to you too

    • ShineShineShine

      May 26, 2015 at 8:04 pm

      let me teach you a trick. It is not deception & it has worked for me and my friends who “borrowed” it. The baby’s name will be what Oga wants but her nick name shall be Saffron. Like play. like play, everyone joins you in calling her Saffron. Watch and hear him call her Saffron too. I give him one month Max’. Money back guaranteed. Thank me later.

    • Blah blah

      May 26, 2015 at 8:54 pm

      Can we call her Saffy? As per awon BN aunties. Can auntie blah blah call her Saffy?

    • Jane Public

      May 27, 2015 at 9:45 am

      @ShineShine, OMG that is GENIUS!!!! thanks. Oh good, he doesn’t read Bella Naija. It shall be our BN secret. @Aunty Blah Blah, sure you can, see @ShineShine’s comment above, we shall all call her Saffron. Le Boo will just have to get with the program without him realising. Hehehehe

    • chichi

      May 27, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      @janepublic, i just had to reply simply because that crossed my mind but i am no judgmental judy. I was merely reflecting and thinking of ways to avoid this kinda drama. Then i thought like you rightly pointed out that not practicing premarital sex doesn’t make you immune to slander. I have experienced that myself. However, My Dad’s words come to mind. “Doing the right thing may not be popular, it may not shield you from slander or false accusations but DO IT ANYWAY cos it might just help in vindicating you”. Your example further proves his point. Yes i get it that your friend’s husband loves her but lets not pretend like her chastity isn’t one of the reasons he defended her quickly. Why would some random dude be claiming his girl when he is yet to touch her?.
      When i was accused of something similar, i didn’t have a boyfriend then to answer to but it hurt. However, i had no regrets. The fact that i didn’t share my body with someone that hurt me like that gave me inner peace while i trusted that everything will be fine. The fool later apologized.
      We are all learning here and people should be free to reflect on this poor girl’s experience, come up with lessons and state them (graciously of course) without being called judgmental.
      Lying/slandering is a sin and it really hurts. Premarital sex is also a sin. Those are facts (if you are a christian of course) not judgments. However, i get it that it isn’t popular to state the latter.
      So my point is- Saying no to premarital sex doesn’t make you immune to slander but it might just help in vindicating you when someone decides to lie against you. Lets face it, you are less likely to get involved in this kinda drama if you aren’t practicing premarital sex. (im not talking about the foolery that happened in highschool lol). Anyhoo, my point is just another lesson and ppl don’t have to agree. Do you!
      That being said, i enjoy your comments janepublic and congrats. Must be exciting 🙂

    • Zizii Luccii

      June 1, 2015 at 12:28 pm

      Congrats Jane P!

  50. ms lala

    May 26, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    The worst is the family friend u have known all your life. KOO opened his bloody mouth and lied that I was his sex slave…just because I stayed with his parents who were friends with my parent parents for over 30 bloody years , when I came to Nigeria for xmas. That lie ruined the friendship between our parents. I called the friends idiot and as usual swore up and down saying saying it wasn’t true but his own friend sent me a screen shot of their convo about me…I no longer hang out with male friends out of paranoia. Four years later and I am still swearing for the idiot. No one knows it feels til it has happened to you. Their lies hurts, and even ruin your happiness. Thunder will sure fiya isio’s ex male friend …I want to believe she gave that guy space.

  51. Gbemi

    May 26, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    I agree what the guy did was wrong but WHY DID SHE INVITE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE? Please ladies keep away past exes from your present. Some people carry a lot of resentment even when they say “Let’s be friends”

    • Chili

      May 26, 2015 at 9:54 pm

      Gbemi I love you!!! ?? I keep away from exes. Like bad plagues. I don’t want to be you’re friend, sorry. I can say ‘hi’ ‘hello’ to you and your friends. But bringing you close?!! Never!! My friends accuse me of being so childish and malicious. I tell them ‘I don’t hate these guys, but I don’t want tent on my fence. An old firewood dey catch fire and frankly speaking it’s not necessary’

      But hey…..: what do I know? I’m just a girl who doesn’t want drama or not-so-nice memories sticking around. It’s worked perfectly for me.

  52. Ms. Brown

    May 26, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    story of my life isio. I cannot count how many guys “smashed” me in secondary school. I made myself a promise when i was like 8 not to have a boyfriend till i left secondary school, not that i had temting options but there were 2 boys i really liked, but not enough to break my promise to myself anyways. besides i dont see the point. we are too young and stupid to know what we want from each other. that didnt stop my heart from breaking.
    u see, there was this idiot in my class who started spreading rumors that he smashed me, then his friend smashed me, then his other friend smashed me, they were 3 in their clique and they have all taken turns in the smashing business. my gist went round the school and staff room and the day it got back to me, i cried like d cry baby i was and then walked up to him like the lion i am and confronted him. of course he said he was just joking and i walked away and left him to God. God is still busy dealing with him 4 years later praise Jesus. The heartbreak part was I was in 200l when CrushA who i tot had sense started saying he also smashed me bacck then and CrushB heard, CrushB had enough sense however to warn me of the big mouth. I couldnt believe it. i confronted and he also apologized. Im waiting for Jesus to handle him sha.
    FFwrd to Jamb lesson! kai i smasheeed!!! One boy even told people the location we usually did it! I mean really??!! University days wasn’t any better sha my peepo! Nysc came and i had this boy that would take a bullet for me. older than me but he was still in school. he loved me with the whole of his heart..puppy love kinda thing. Thats how he met one Mide boy at a party who used to date one smelly girl in school that claimed to have smashed me! He even added me on bbm 2 days ago. Im deleting him now sef but im over it. i just wanted to die!!WHY ME! If that is how i spread my legs anyhow now i would understand! Me dat i learnt early in life about mileages on the body! God dey sha.

    • Not sure where to start from

      May 26, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      In every rumour lies an atom of truth!!!! Sweery, if at all there is really no truth in all such shared “smashing”, then you need to cut down on some activities with guys, maybe u r a bit flirtatious, and they take that as a basis to lie about you. Whatever the case, avoid them like plagues, so that they do no even know your name, let alone spread such rumours. Not sure why you let such silly immature guys into ur life over n over again anyway.

    • Ms. Brown

      May 28, 2015 at 1:10 pm

      I wish i was that interesting.. I was an SU in secondary school..my father locked me up as long as i was under his roof., for them it was a thing of pride to claim the locked up girl..flirtatious?? nah i dont even know what that word smells like. but yea, environment has a way of bringing some people into ur life nd u cant control the environment..not anymore tho

  53. Jumie

    May 26, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    I remember once i was at a party and this horrible claimer from nowhere walks up to our table cos i was sitting with the wife of the host ( A celebrity ) who happens to be a relation of mine and saw how the host was all over us. She struts over and started talking loudly “hey i know you werent you the one dating ….. (she didnt know the guy’s name so she mentioned two random guys that were living in the same compound) … you guys were staying in town back in Uni then. And i clearly and coldly replied her Which one? since you know me so well. Well i guess that sort of put her in her place and she soon walked away. For all you know my husband could have been sitting beside me and this blabber mouth could have caused serious quanta’ for me but then… ( someone i didnt know and wasnt friends with )thank God that there are some matured men out there who do not care about who has smashed whom as we all have a past and its your present and the future that really counts as Man \ Woman cannot live in a vaccum. Your friend really needs to grow up and while searching for that decent and less decadent woman he may and in a Karma filled life just end up with the most vicious – innocent looking woman that he has ever come across

  54. cleo

    May 26, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isio, that your friend’s act was wicked ooooooooooo. I cant imagine the hurt and pain.
    Hmmmmm, i regret some of my exes though, but hey, how would i have juicy stories to tell. I bind every claimer and put in iron cage.
    May they not come my way

  55. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    May 26, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    True words Isio.
    No matter how much someone loves you, it would never be enough if you don’t love yourself first..
    Being comfortable with yourself and your thoughts; being able to enjoy the silence of your own company; to learn to be appreciative when you are among people, but knowing they are not a sine qua non to your being happy.

    Barely are there original thoughts anymore. People voice opinions of popular culture ( E!, Display Messages, Africa Magic, BN) and the creativity in them is deadened. We are not happy and we don’t understand why. We have all the strappings of a “cool”‘ person but its tinsel town, baby and “things” can’t take the place of the real gold of your creativity that’s trying hard to find expression; hence the discontent. Misery loves company and it creates a restless need to inflict our environment with such pettiness, especially when we see such beauty come out of peoples lives which we desire for ourselves until we bring them down to that stinky place we are. If we are not happy, no one else can be.

    When you are creative, you feel fulfilled; you feel you are doing something positive with your life, and there is something infinitely contagious about someone who is happy: You want to share it (like Coca Cola).

    Creative thoughts may be sparked in company, but they are born and nurtured in solitude.

    Resolve the conflict in man and you would resolve the conflict in the world. You cannot give what you do not have. If we are peace with ourselves, we would leave in peace with our fellow men.

    • iyke

      May 26, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      ????brilliant response….impressed that you focused on the subject that is most relevant here….’being alone without being lonely’.

    • Tincan

      May 31, 2015 at 10:00 am

      How did you just make being alone sound so sexy? That’s it, off to tell hubby and children to give me my space! 🙂 Actually, working in Nigeria this week and relishing having some ‘alone-time’. It’d been too long.

  56. Lilo

    May 26, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Karma has no expiration date sha…so your friend, Isio, better be ready

  57. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    May 26, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    * are at peace
    *live in peace

  58. *Real* Nice Anon

    May 26, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    I think they both did the girl a favor. Shebi If I say that our men are mostly weak minded now you lot will come for me ( actually don’t because I’ll check you and read you to filth) but see the sort of crap people have to deal with. You didn’t want her but mad that another man does? Then the onuku that is with her kwanu had the guts to break it off? Are you mad? Are you that weak minded? Rubbish!

  59. Debra

    May 26, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    The problem is that we raise men to see women as items for consumption that lose value with every use, instead of human beings with feelings deserving of respect. That’s why someone who claims to be an adult will say that a marriageable woman should have a body count of 2 or less. He’ll now turn around to say that she isn’t sexually experienced enough. Following the typical Nigerian man’s laughable ideals of “wife material” will put every woman in a “lose-lose” situation: damned if you do, damned and unhappy if you don’t. God hasn’t started punshing that claimer and his ilk, but any woman is better off without MOTM who will be scared off you easily because of unsubstantiated words from a stranger. It’s amusing how people assume that sexually active women make bad wives and mothers. Salute to all the overgrown babies with double standards. May you grow up one day.

  60. Tammy

    May 26, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    That one is small. In secondary school, my ex had been going around saying he smashed me in a dirty dirty classroom. This was me, who only ever kissed in secondary school. This ex could not even kiss me o, talkless of smash. I made a promise to myself not to ever smash in secondary school. Years later another friend told me how he heard gist i smashed this ex. Funny that i was about meeting up with the ex and even considering a serious relationship. So i proceeded to ask this ex if it was true. And he claimed that everyone was saying and doing it, and that he was sorry. WOAH!!! I dumped his sorry ass never to be talked to again. Tufia!!!

  61. fga

    May 26, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    When una go dey chop men money up and down without finding one boyfriend to stick to or remaining legitimately single, how will claimers not appear. Some immature young men do not want to be called mumu’s so after they have toasted, cajoled, carried you in the front seat of their cars from one restaurant to the next, they have to claim a return on investment, to avoid looking foolish to their fellow immature mates. Sad but true. Some babes are innocently claimed but others put themselves in a position to be claimed. If you were with your boyfriend or female friends or a mixed group of most of the time, who would have the leverage or story to claim you? Of course there’s the legitimately single babe that has a guy toasting her and he claims he hit it, but how many. When you will be drawing the thing out while chopping from V/I to Ikoyi and telling him “I’m not ready”, mans is forced to claim at some point. All the Nigerian female celebrities, which ones truly have claiming-related scandals ? Largely the ones who can’t sit down in one place looking for whose pockets to burn a hole in. If f *ck boys do not claim physical ROI for their “efforts” they will claim it virtually to their mates. Learn and apply.

  62. nwanyi na aga aga

    May 26, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Oh! Isio you write so well. This reminds me of one time in my SS2, one of my stupid family friends went to jamb lesson and started giving them gist, that I gave him a love letter to give the son of one popular rich man. This was so confusing I refused to attend their Jamb lessons, i hated crowd, hated dressing up, cos they always had this competition thingy where they count peoples’ clothes, who came with ride, who driver dropped, who trekked, who repeated clothes, who dated who. I didn’t just want to be part of the madness and pressure. i jejely stayed at home and watched movies. For one of my friends to visit me, she was fidgeting, I noticed her discomfort and was asking her what the problem was and the girl gave me gist..She even started with blaming me ” i know so so is a fine boy, but if you wanted to write him a love letter why not write it through someone else not that q your family friend with a loud mouth” I was confused, I didn’t even know the boy I allegedly wrote letter to. I nearly died.
    Everyone I know attends that lesson, my admirers cum chykers. Later in the day our landline rang off the hook, mobile phones had not become popular..All my friends calling me to tell me that my love letter was exposed. That same night, i went to my mum and requested to start Jamb lesson in that venue. She was over joyed. The rage in my head knew no bounds, I dressed for a fight, I promised myself that all the culprits mentioned in that tale will bleed or we all die. I called the ist friend to break the news to me and told her I was starting lesson tomorrow, she knew a showdown will occur, she informed others, we planned to go together. I arrived the lesson venue by 7am sat by the gate and waited for my enemies..adorned on my shorts and a big top with a change of clothing in my bag. i waited, they started maths my enemies had not arrived, fast forward to end of math, a friend came to inform me that my enemy was in class, i didn’t see him pass by the gate. I matched into the classroom where he was gisting with some akamu/pampers boys like him and called him, everywhere was quiet. I rushed to him dragged him up and started interrogating him..looool! he was an over pampered brat no iota of strength. he started confessing, that it was a joke o, that they decided to tell it so that people will respect his rich friend..His rich friend too another akamu boy..Lol! I looked at him and asked him do you know me? No he replied..I just told them, if any of you ever mention my name in this useless lesson, we will both die..As I was leaving my babes started clapping..They were scared cos I had a reputation growing up to be a ferocious when challenged to a fight,..They didn’t know that i also had become an Akamu girl..no strength only mouth looool!..But shaa they ve not forgotten. Met them recently in a mutual friends wedding and they were hailing me “Iron lady”..Lol i f I hear..

    • ms lala

      May 27, 2015 at 1:13 am

      Iron lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u go girl, am still waiting for the day i will run into that boy!!!!! kai!!!!!

  63. kola

    May 26, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    Come to think of it. What was she.doing with all those so called big boys at her birthday party…is she the new Beer in town?

  64. Taiwo

    May 26, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    This is why I advice my friends …. Close ur legs pleeeeease!!! U can still have male friends all the attention and not Sleep with them … It will eventually be the difference between u and the other babes …. Hmmmm enough said

  65. Day dreamers

    May 26, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    Isio and others, you can like to carry the matter in top of your head cos you are females. You only see the other side when it concerns you.

    See it is not about claimers club. It is all about the fact that if you see your friend about to enter a ditch or make eternal mistake, you correct him or her.

    If you have a friend (male or female) who is about marrying a public toilet or a man whose 3rd leg never stays in one place, won’t you advise him/ her against it?

    On aunty Bella and articles, you advise other ladies against men whom you think are not right for them but cos a guy did same, y’all raining curses on him. Your double standards and selfishness no be here.

    FYI, God does not hear silly prayers like yours. If He does, all d pple u Don curse for Don die now. The good ones u prayed, u haven’t seen d result yet. Is it the bad ones DAT will come to pass?

    Y’all like to deceive yourselves. If your integrity and pride you always claim is that high, how come u sleeping around with your claimers, collecting their money, hoping around in their cars as if tomorrow no dey.

    If u don’t put yourself in a compromised position, no one will come claim you.

    Women palava. Name on top dis kind gist u dey side yourselves but we all know u can’t stand yourselves one bit

    Weldone u hear? Uche face your work

    • B!

      May 27, 2015 at 3:47 pm

      Sometimes when people write comments like yours I wonder if we read the same article.

      Evidently you have difficulty understanding words.

      The guy was not warning him because he saw MOTM as a good friend and one that he should warn in advance of disaster. He simply wanted to be the ONLY one who had anything to do with her. In other words, after he slept with her, he wanted to be THE ONLY ONE who did. Its the mentality of ” Since I have had you, no one else can”.

      That is malicious and evil.

      Read here as I quote.

      “and that he didn’t want to be with a girl who had been “smashed” by another guy who moved in the same social circle as him. ”

      This was not a case of a guy warning a friend. This was a case of someone who in his own envy and bitterness decided that because he has slept with her at one time in her life that she should carry the cross of that encounter forever. Read as I quote again because clearly you missed it the first time.

      “Did you ever date her?” No

      “Did you intend to be with her after you became lovers?” No

      “Did you intend to be with her after you claimed her to a man who was willing to commit to someone you never wanted?” No… but, but…

      Since I have to spell it out for you, I’ll go further. He assumed that because she had slept with him that she was sleeping with other guys as well. He drew assumptions from the decor and the number of guys that she could just as easily have been friends with. Remember his words were “i can bet you that she has slept with all these Lagos Big boys. ” He did not say whether he KNEW ,because he didn’t know. All he did was make a bet, which could have been outright false. He made an assumption and exaggerated it to the detriment of her own happiness.

      This had nothing to do with double standards, because even if I wanted to warn a friend about a guy, I would say the things he did that were outright wrong, i.e cheating, abusive behavior etc. I wouldn’t say because he slept with a girl as friends with benefits therefore don’t date him don’t marry him, don’t have anything to do with him. Don’t get me wrong O, being friends with benefits is still wrong but lets put this into perspective.
      If all girls did that, do you know that almost all the men in Nigeria would be single? And also, even if I wanted to speak to a friend about a loved one’s behavior I would make sure that everything I said was devoid of malice.

      There’s a saying that goes ;like this.
      “A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you could invent.”

      Now in this case, not only did he tell a truth with bad intent, he mixed it up with exaggerations and things that he wasn’t even sure about. So everything you’ve just said, I’m still wondering if you read the whole thing .

    • Day dreamers

      May 27, 2015 at 10:42 pm

      B, my comment wouldn’t follow your line of thought bcos am not as dumb as you and I don’t do band wagon.

      Uche, face your work

    • B!

      May 28, 2015 at 5:07 pm

      @Daydreamers:
      Awww… did I hurt you? I’m so sorry. Psych! I knew you must be a bit slow, but you confirmed it with your last comment. Thank you for proving my point. So you didn’t have anything to say other than that? Thought as much.

    • Dee one

      May 29, 2015 at 4:58 am

      @day dreamers so you mean after all the time B took to explain and break down the article for you, you still don’t get it…..? Your case is spiritual.

  66. Dokky

    May 26, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    Na wa oooo….and dat foolish guy wld av bin begging d girl for sex b4 d girl ll reluctantly allow him…look at hw he poured sansan for d girl parol…ladies ..pls wake up…dnt allow any man use u as a side chick…dnt be an option…dnt pity a guy asking u for sex or romance …hold ur head high and say NO…so dat he wont spoil ur parol wen u r suppose to be happy 4ever…

    • Meeeee

      May 27, 2015 at 1:40 pm

      Aswear… Like his life depended on it. Lol! Stories like dis makes me happy when I remember I let a guy walk into d street with his “hard on” so days ago. #bunchofretards

  67. Bambi

    May 27, 2015 at 4:12 am

    Why would she risk bringing her former lovers/squeezes around her current interest. She no get sense. That was a big blunder on her part. However, that guy is also an idiot.

  68. gia

    May 27, 2015 at 10:00 am

    The comments just leave me speechless….
    And i just can’t understand how some of these women just walked away…just the thought of someone doing the same thing to me makes me wanna hit something!
    And the way some of these useless men said “it was just a joke”!
    WTF????

  69. PIUS CHRISTIANA

    May 27, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    Wahali na true ohhh. serious denial

  70. honey

    May 27, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Guys like this usually end up with a wife who screws the gateman …. And driver….. That’s if he’d ever be able to afford either….
    A man devoid of wisdom or discretion…. Smh.

    As for the girl. You had sex…. Your choice.
    He didn’t Wai to hear you out… His choice.
    You hurt. Sorry.

    Doubt if you’ll ever get over the pain of rejection and judgement without trial but truly your MOTM…. Had no honour.

    Real men will find out the truth and what ever their decision it would at least be honourable…..
    Back to isios friend…. Truly you are a monumental asswipe… To be disposed of at will which is the basic definition of asswipe which is what toilet paper is…. Get it? …. I doubt it…. Idiot.

  71. S

    May 27, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    Ehm show me your friend n tell you who you r. You attract what u got. Side eye to you Iso you call that guy ur friend. Y
    Your friend knows y he can’t find a decent unsmashed girl. HE IS NOT ONE

  72. @ms lala

    May 28, 2015 at 4:12 am

    e be like say i know you ohhhhh ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  73. Cecilia

    May 28, 2015 at 8:19 am

    Nice to have u back Isio. Now to d article. People like your friend are cowards who are mentally unbalanced. They are in d claimers club because of insecurity. Some do it for fun but mostly out of jealousy and ego. Both sexes are guilty of this behaviour. I had an experience in my secondary school days of a girl my junior who felt i was too close to a boy she knew in her neighbourhood and decided to invent a malicious story in school that spread to their families. I overlooked it for some time but took her up publicly in presence of the boy and his friends. The boys made her reverse her story openly one day during prep. She apologised that she had always loved d boy who would not notice her but decided to punish him and see him suffer. Fast forward, she did not resume with us d following term out of shame. The parents changed her school as an aje butter pikin.

  74. divea

    May 28, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    My heart bleeds for the girl (miss host). Human beings are so wicked. why do such a thing?

  75. Ms. Ndee

    May 30, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    Someone needs to look that guy dead in the eye for 5mins straight and ask him in a deep voice ” SO NOW, HOW EXACTLY DO YOU FEEL?” Infact, Isio, thats what you should have done.

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