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Joro ‘Doktor Mofin’ Olumofin writes a ‘Letter to the ladies with High Standards and are looking for Ready Made Men’

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Joro OlumofinJoro Olumofin is back with a new relationship post and this time he is writing a letter to the ladies with high standards who are looking for a Ready Made Man (RMM).

He writes:

Who is a readymade man? Any man that is overly successful/ established, owns a chain of properties, vehicles, businesses etc. and has no struggle in life whatsoever.

A lot of ladies are single today because they have chosen not to compromise on their high standards and aren’t interested in guys who may be struggling but have potential. Some ladies make remarks or assertions like; ‘if he’s not driving a G Wagon forget it’, ‘he must live in Banana island or Asokoro’, ‘he must have an Oil and Gas job or be in Politics.’

They would rather wait for years, search far and wide, and join the queue of ladies who are on the case of Mr. “RMM”. Most times Mr. RMM has a string of ladies on his case and may have time to play around and waste a couple of ladies time.

There’s nothing wrong in knowing what you want and going for it but some of the ladies who fall into this category forget the most important quality that most powerful/ successful couples possess which is GROWTH.

Growth reminds a man of where he is coming from and most importantly who was with him before he became a Made Man. Growth gives you, as a woman, the ability to put your man in check by reminding him who contributed and built his Empire with him. In the Case of “RMM” you can’t claim any credit because you moved in or met him when everything was all set.

I must also say that there is no set personality or behavioral disposition for a “RMM” he may be sweet and he may not, also some guys with potential, who have made it forget who was with them when things were tough…

Choose carefully and pray for favor in choosing.

85 Comments

  1. A Real Nigerian

    June 17, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    Well, I was expecting something much longer than this.

  2. charles

    June 17, 2015 at 1:16 pm

    My own be say, any girl wey no follow me “hustle”, no go follow me “flex”. You can’t reap from where you did not sow. Na so my papa take do him own, na so pikin sef go do him own. Shikena!

    • Otrizzy

      June 17, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      @Charles i hope you can stick to your words when the time come ? My ex said that too after eight years of dating he got engaged to his side chick .

    • I no send

      June 17, 2015 at 3:32 pm

      Awww…@ otrizzy..e-hugs..i bet it’s his loss..fickle minded man

    • Jhennique

      June 17, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      lol. isnt it funny that most of these guys you drink garri with end up buying the diamonds for another girl? I have instances and instances. A friend of mine nearly ran mad for what her bf of five years did to her.
      Its not really worth it sometimes. we just pray for God’s wisdom to choose cos in the end, really, nobody wants to suffer.

    • Just Me

      June 17, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      You can say that over again. Not worth it sticking your ass with a man who is struggling. If you find a ready made man who is ready to wife you, biko carry go. After struggling with the broke ass brother he still wakes up one morning to settle down with someone else

    • nira

      June 17, 2015 at 8:07 pm

      Otrizzy, you are very much not alone. Same happened to me, I fell in love with this guy, he had nothing, absolutely nothing…but I felt he had potentials. I was a youth corper then, when my dad asked if I was seeing anybody, I told him I was but we were taking things easy as the guy wasnt anywhere financially. My dad asked me to introduce him, that him not being financially buoyant now does count, that what counts was our love and happiness. I took him home, my dad welcomed him…n told him to see him as a father and whatever he could do to help, he shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Not even minding that his family were very hostile towards me, I did all I could to help, set him up for interviews, give him business ideas etc, I soon noticed that he was kinda lazy, he wasnt ready ready to get up and face challenges and do something about his situation,he would sit on his ass and nag all day about how losing his parents was the cause of what he was goin through. He was always counting on me for cash, whenever we went out, I would foot the bill, he never even for once offered to pay. His sisters were spiteful and disrespectful, there was a time I went to where he stayed, met his sisters in the sitting room, greeted them and no response, they al got up and went into the room.when my darling bf came, I told him wat happened, he told me to go inside and greet them again, mumu like me too went. He told me about a biz venture, he had no money so I offered to help with my hard earned 200k, I wasnt even working then, I had just completed my nysc. He squandered the money and couldnt care less..i eventually broke up with him when I couldn’t tolerate him and his family’s behaviour any longer. He was just there crying like a fool and that was not the only time I had tried to be helpful and stand by a man…but what did I get in return. I have said it and will repeat it, I can never suffer with any man again o, not at this stage of my life, my love isnt blind anymore, e open eye wide well well. Not saying he has to be a millionaire and drive a range, but he has to be hardworking, diligent and full of potentials and also financially stable which will be a plus anyway because I am working hard to make my money and will continue to make it by God’s grace.

    • Base

      June 17, 2015 at 8:20 pm

      sorry o.. but his side chic was also there while he was hustling

    • Amiira

      June 17, 2015 at 11:34 pm

      My elder sister went through the same. She dated this evil guy for 8years and in turn to marry another girl 7 months after the side chic he’s been seeing for 1 yet plus showed face. When my sister started with him, he lived in a room with shared toilet and had only a naked mattress thrown on the floor. By the time he started buying apartments and flats, traveling round the world and making the dollars, bobo said he had to yield to im mama. Me o, a guy with no change+ mega prospect is never a choice. At least small change must dey… Can’t beg to live

    • Priscy

      June 17, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Na so you go talk now…the girl wey go follow you “hustle” now, when you start to “flex” na different girl go dey there

    • bunmi

      June 18, 2015 at 8:13 am

      @ Charles that was what my ex said and when the money came he left! Abeg…….
      Na so me sef look for better guy wey dey serious marry am!

  3. Person pikin

    June 17, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    Guy abeg swerve! Some relationship topics have been overflogged.

  4. mickie

    June 17, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Tell this to my aunts, who expects us to marry RMM, my sister is getting married, and in their words ” didn’t you see footballers and celebrities to marry like your mates are doing!”

  5. Naomi

    June 17, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    Thank you. We have heard enough of women do this do that. We know already, some of us want RMM, some of us want growing men. Please talk to the male folk too, thats your gender communicate to them how to behave, and respect a woman regardless.

    • CONGLOMERATE

      June 17, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      A woman that doesn’t respect herself wont get any, kapish!

    • Nyla

      June 17, 2015 at 4:46 pm

      And what of the woman who respects herself and her relationship and still ends up heartbroken. But that’s he fault right? Cause she did something wrong? Smh

  6. Naijababeii

    June 17, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    both must hustle together to enjoy d fruit of their labour. QED

  7. Mystique

    June 17, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    Empty write up….. the lady you described must be vain and shallow with very little achievements (through hard work i mean). That said, there’s nothing wrong with having high standards. If a woman can strive to be somebody by getting a good education and landing a decent job, why cant she expect same from a man??? whats this issue of “that’s why a lot of women are single’……… Doktor Mofin, do well to advice your brothers to up their game. Is it just me or are most men just freeloaders these days??? which hardworking woman would want to settle for a couch potato bcos she wants to bear Mrs Somebody? Marriage is not the holy grail it used to be. A lot of women are suffering in their homes bcos of lazy men who lack ambition. I know women who pay the rent, children’s school fees and feed the home while the husband hangs out every night in the name of hustling. STOP the bashing of single ladies Mr man.

    • Adeola

      June 18, 2015 at 3:41 am

      Exactly- just some days I was discussing with someone along the same lines. I think one of the reasons why we have so many single ladies without ‘ matches’ is because day in day out fewer men want to work hard and improve themselves like women are doing. With more women gunning for and ‘achieving’ a better standard of living- the pool of ‘eligibles’ becomes smaller. The ‘few’ eligibles are either married-they get snatched up quickly and those who are seemingly unattached are mostly assholes afterall the pool is small and ladies aren’t spoilt for choices so yes it’s time to shift some of this marriage/relationship debate to men and the need to up their game(work harder, make more money, get more education, exposure etc..)instead of focusing on women who have and are doing the same for themselves and don’t want a man-“liability”-this generation would be the better for it and hopefully the next… Because then again as another friend pointed out if both of you are so busy making money even if you decide not to have kids and keep just dogs someone must take care of them now- so whether the kids would be better off or not is another question

  8. Dee

    June 17, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    The word ‘compromise’ is wrong what he should have written is ‘Realistic’ when you live in fantasy island in your ‘head’ the man you want will not be able to come out of your head because that is the only environment he can exist in. The real advice is to be realistic and work with what you have to get to where you want be. Be it in a relationship, career, business etc. Life works on principles and the principle ladies need here is sow and you will reap. Sowing doesn’t have to be sowing into a man. It could be sowing into your character; being disciplined, honest, hardworking etc. Who you want, may end up chasing after you instead as you will not a burden but a blessing to him.

  9. kole

    June 17, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    you people have come again, please who is this guy first of all, BN, you just pick a welder/vulcanizer off the street with body odor and dragon breath and bring him to come and be giving us advice, abeg observe chill, seriously BN reconsider posting these articles abeg, this is the 21st century, being married or in a relationship is not any kind of achievement, we are in a relationship with them just as much as they are with us , no one is doing anyone a favor haba! enough with the double standard abeg! drops mic

  10. onetallgirl

    June 17, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    So Mr. relationship man, so what do you say about the RMM who have girls friends/ wives who have been there and loved them when they nobody, now that they are RMM they now go and find a new girlfriend/ wife. These guys are not loyal o! speak to these guys about loyalty.

  11. Blah blah

    June 17, 2015 at 1:58 pm

    I didn’t read this article. Not going to do so. I came to appeal to my fellow ladies. This guy is here to stay. He’s clearly not going anywhere thanks to BN. Let’s not waste our energy saying no we are tired of hearing this and what not. Let’s just ignore him. Don’t read. Don’t comment. Read but don’t comment. Maybe, just maybe he will go away.

  12. Anonymous

    June 17, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    What of ladies that are not waiting for RMM, who just want a man that will love God and love them? I like a word in your last sentence “pray”.

  13. nnenne

    June 17, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Nothing wrong with that as long as the woman is made too.
    These days our men are the ones looking for ready made. Time was when men helped their prospective wives through school and career.
    My cousin has OND but he is marrying a lady with masters and a banker.

    • Zee

      June 17, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      Gbam.

    • Bithces digging gold

      June 17, 2015 at 3:57 pm

      No be your sister dey beg am to marry her

      Your sister dey craze? on a normal day will she marry a guy with OND?
      no be condition make fish bend?

      What is the ratio of men looking for rich babes to babes looking for rich men?
      1:100
      Even you, that is what you waiting for
      goan sleep jo

  14. Pretty girl

    June 17, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Yes oh they forget the girls that were on their side when one naira no gum them now they have money u are not up to their standard as they want high class babe’s.

    • Jojononz

      June 17, 2015 at 7:11 pm

      @ pretty girl gbam…..same happened to me oooo, he went for the babe with masters degree, me I come become local market woman when dey go night school after my blood, sweat and tears. I have learnt my lessons jare now me I want RMM I no come dis world come suffer after all Jesus died that we might enjoy his riches. Nuff said

  15. Priscy

    June 17, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Abeg abeg abeg
    I am tired of listening and listening to men say that most girls are looking for already made men
    before nko?
    I know of a lot of people who not only stayed with their men, they even contributed like 70% t0 the growth of their men. Not only were those women dumped, the guys have moved on to ladies that don’t even know how they struggled.
    There is a limit to the kind of struggle I can struggle with a man o…not worth the stress and heartbreak.
    Plus according to this your statement here “Growth gives you, as a woman, the ability to put your man in check by reminding him who contributed and built his Empire with him”, how does reminding him add any value to your relationship?
    He is supposed to remember and be forever thankful he has a woman who stood by him…how many men remember their women who was there for them? If you even remind him, e go turn to ‘nagging’
    That is why it is very very important as a woman to have your own money….respect go dey

  16. Asgrl

    June 17, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Looking for G-wagon, politcal or oil and gas job is considered “having high standards”???? I Bow!!!

    Boya it’s a case of lost in translation (Yoruba to English) but I though having high standards for a male mate included things like

    – he’s a hard worker, has a job and is not still waiting to be a Shawn P type of trainer or a rapper at age 40
    – he’s faithful!!!
    – Comes from a good loving family and would equally make a dad
    – he’s a bible believing Christian
    – trustworthy and respectful
    – adventurous

    You know THESE high but reasonable standard.

    What this one has explained is materialistic expectations and there is a big difference between both.

    • Jhennique

      June 17, 2015 at 4:39 pm

      lol. Asgirl, those qualities you mentioned ehn? trust me girl in this time and age its almost an “unattainable” standard. i taya!

    • nene

      June 17, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      gbam. 2 odekus for you. G wagon and co are not high standards, that’s just vanity.

  17. Go & rest

    June 17, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    If you have nothing else to do, i’d suggest you go rest. This is such a “me too” write-up.

  18. Grown Woman

    June 17, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    I don’t see hardworking ladies choosing RMM.But then again i can’t blame some of the ladies who choose to have such men as sometimes you start with someone from the bottom and they end up trashing you at the top with someone else completely.Nothing is really guaranteed in this life so do what makes you happy and that way life is simple and beautiful 🙂

  19. Ab

    June 17, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    Can this guy ever do a write up about guys and how they should start building solid character and habits? Personally I feel there are more women hustling to keep their game up be it making themselves better in character, attitude, careers, general wellbeing etc than our men especially the Nigerian men( yes I said it)…these Nigerian men, some of them need to man the hell Up and live up to expectations cause personally these day most of them don’t even get me to look at them twice !!!

  20. shhh

    June 17, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    I certainly agree that my comment is shallow but : when i saw the picture, I wondered if the brain in his hand was photoshoped/edited/ added in…
    bye

  21. baby

    June 17, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    pls mr writer hush! the number of men looking for already made women these days supercede’s the women looking for already made men! in the days of our mothers,my mum being an example,our fathers trained our mothers through first degree,and a masters degree! yes my dad did! and he’s no otedola or dangote.These days we find lazy ass men , who are looking for women that will pay rents or share the rent with them,pay children’s school fees,stock the house with groceries,i am not saying when the going gets tough the woman cannot be a helper,but why do men make it a priority to marry a working class ladies these days!Young man why must you make working a priority before you marry that woman,as for me,(call me haughty idk) i have been working my ass off for the past four years i graduated from school,and i will not settle for less! if a man is unable to take care of the home front,its noooo deal! I’m not searching for dabota’s kinda man,just a young hardworking man who doesn’t need to know how much i earn or what i use my salary for.

    • zibaintl

      June 17, 2015 at 11:18 pm

      u try at d beggining of ur comment….but i no undstnd your last statements…maybe u shld explain more….No, 1, u dnt hv to mention dabota to mak ur point…just like u have made up ur mind or taking some decissions, dabota did too…its her life n she has d power to decide or her sef….so dont reference her marriage as i he choice of a husband is a crime….secondly, marriage is partnership,,,so i dont really undstnd wen u say ur hubby doesnt need to know hw much u earn or wat u do with ur money….both parties are meant to contribute their resources for d runnig of d family projects,family issues…marriage is sweeter dat way n life made easy……dats y dey say two bcoming one wich is d essence of marriage…we can only pray for God devine direction for good spouses to enjoy marriage.

  22. dd

    June 17, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    At times RMM is better , some men r not worth it they dont remember who suffered with him when they r made, they later misbehave .

  23. xag

    June 17, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    The question to prospective babes trying to move from FWB to main dish status is always “What do you have to offer?”. After having hustled and acquired small thing for myself that qualifies me on the lower end of the RMM scale, what are you bringing to add to my portfolio asides from “looking good” and “great sex”? 95% of the babes I ask this question are dumbfounded. The other 5 % give incoherent answers. My dears, look for how to add value to yourselves. Real value. All these babes thinking value is red bottoms, Brazilian hair and one attitude or the other, you’re on a long thing. And better thing will follow. Okonjo Iweala and Ezekwesili are not Miss World looking women, yet they hold their own anywhere. EVen the famous Diezani had to use book first before the sexy “okopolo” eyes followed up with their game. Struggling man can chase you away when he makes money, he may not. If you develop yourself and add value to your own life while he’s struggling , the less reason he has to leave you for flavour of the month because at that point it will be his loss. Meanwhile an RMM can dump you at ANY TIME. Because let me tell you what goes in on in the mind of man who is now the toast of town, where were you when he was struggling? The moment something new comes up he can easily switch lines with no guilt attached. Only newly minted RMMs who don’t know the power of their new status get caught by ready-made seekers who are looking for who to lock down and usually those babes are serious ex-runs types who know their game. The market is mean. She who has ears listen. Value first before anything else.

    • CONGLOMERATE

      June 17, 2015 at 3:49 pm

      Well stated bro. All these female voltrons on BN, we sabi their type, na to come online dey make mouth. lol

    • Hugo

      June 17, 2015 at 5:19 pm

      @ xag. God bless you. Didn’t know folks could still reason from a straight up objective, no bullshit point of view. Your comment totally killed it.

    • Californiabawlar

      June 17, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      whoooooooooooooooo!! My head is ringing sha!!

      This what ‘do you bring to the table’ question is about the vaguest ass question anyone can ask IMO…short of redundant HR interview questions like ‘tell me about yourself’ and ‘what are your strengths’…this comes a close second.
      When you ask a chick what she has to offer apart from good looks and great sex, what answer are you expecting? I’m a team player? I complete tasks efficiently? I’m proactive? oh wait, Am I supposed to tell you I can cook and clean? (so you can say, I’m not your mother or you can hire a maid). Oh, I guess I could tell you that since I’m a medical doctor, if you give me the opportunity to bear your kids, I’ll cut company..oops family, costs by taking care of everybody in-house. Oga Xag, is that good enough for you? or will you say you have money to afford doctors. I could show you my 4.0CGPA and PhD certificate? that way you would know I will bear you intelligent children?
      Sweetheart, eat your heart out, but the only thing I bring to the table is companionship!! Everything else, you can find on my resume or payslip.
      Can you imagine? Awon boys yi o gbadun o…the height of smugness. All this time yall were hanging out your brain could not estimate the worth and value she will be adding to your life…do you have ADHD? Are you slow? or are you just not interested in her and want her out the door anyways?

      mscccheww…I dare a niggah to ask me what I bring to the table…I’ll smack you right in the throat with your stupid ass table…FOH!

      Rant over 🙂 In nicer terms, you should be able to spot whatever it is you want in a woman without having to objectify her by making her list her qualities..this is what dating is for, go out a couple of times, talk to the woman, get a feel for what she’s made of, if she doesn’t make the cut, then stop calling (you sound like that would be your style 😛 )….no need for all this pseudo-intellectual modern day man bullshit…(oops, I going off-course again)

    • Lorenz

      June 17, 2015 at 11:48 pm

      I’m in love already. Please marry me!!

    • xag

      June 18, 2015 at 3:53 am

      You see the difference? Young struggling men are designed to think of marriage without understanding what they get out of it other than fulfilling societal responsibilities or marrying a fine babe, young women are designed not to provide them with answers meanwhile before a young woman marries a man she has calculated the Pythagorean theorem and beyond of why she is getting into the marriage situation and she knows exactly what she wants to get out of it!
      When women are young they want Mr. Goodlooking and popular, when they get older they find Mr. Goodlooking with money and in the absence of that they settle for Mr. Not So Goodlooking with money before they opt for anything else. Because they know they want comfort and security out of life as well as the image that goes with being with a made man to their friends and relatives. But WHAT DO THEY GIVE to the man IN RETURN? I can tell you authoritatively that most have NOTHING to offer asides from good looks. But you want RMM now. When I was hustling and struggling, I was not a viable product. Now money has come and every babe wants to lock a young man down. They want to enjoy 24-hour power supply in Ikoyi serviced property, trips to exotic places, a chef on my dime, first or business class on a reg, the whole equivalent of the beginnings of a Nigerian Champagne lifestyle and then you are telling me what you have to offer for al this is companionship? But they know locking me down will get them comforts, have kids in good schools, annual holidays,, they can have cars to drive that will never lead them to a mechanic, they can have staff to help them around the house, they can CHOOSE NOT TO WORK FOR A SINGLE DAY AGAIN in their lives, they can be recognized as the sole partner of Mr XXXX that hardworking young man who started and has gone places, if I pass on they get property assets and enough cash to sustain them if they don’t squander it and the option to remarry with my wealth. And then you tell me that all you have to offer for the security of all this is companionship? Tomorrow now you will complain of men and their side chicks. Better think in terms of value and what you bring, because every man who has acquired some good cash in this jungle called Nigeria knows exactly what he has to offer and if a woman can’t step up and provide value. Sorry.

    • xag

      June 18, 2015 at 4:05 am

      Of all the talk about companionship. You couldn’t think of viable value. E.g You might have money but I’ve got an Ivy League MBA and experience in the investment banking sector, I could help you expand your wealth or structure your business in a way that it truly becomes global, give you access to partnerships and connections in corporate circles which you might not ordinarily have access to based on the way you run your things. How about telling me, about how I know your level of education in life and I can be sure that I will never have wayward or daft kids because of their mother’s educational background and how on paper you are smarter than me so with my business skills and your academic background its all a plus? How about pointing out the structural flaws in my life despite the availability of money and how as a woman you the skills to correct that, even if it is hiring an interior decorator on my dime so the house looks livable and more welcoming or upgrading my personal style with recommendations so my business partners and the world recognizes that the man has a better woman at home? The list of value propositions a woman can bring is endless but no, you people prefer to sit down and do new age feminism and wait to enjoy RMM dollars, Hermes and Bottega Veneta or even thinking of WHAT YOU AS A NIGERIAN WOMAN HAVE TO OFFER. Without bringing good value to the table better be prepared to enjoy the man with side chick or an RMM who keeps you as part of a harem.

    • Californiabawlar

      June 18, 2015 at 7:22 am

      So Xag, from your list, it’s obvious you know what you want in a woman. Brah! Then why are you going around interviewing women? why does a woman have to ‘sell herself’ to someone who wasn’t raised with the sensibilities to know how to pick a good wife? dude, ask any chick with half a brain that question and that will be your last date…. I insist that it wreaks of smugness and ‘new money’ syndrome. Even a little bit of gold digging from your end? Naija boy looking for an upgrade from women but judge their counterparts for beating them to their game? Just asking ni o.

      My dad, a professor of psychiatry, married my mum for good looks and mental capacity for the kids… He sure got his good looking kids all with advanced degrees but he joked around that he had to compromise on my mum’s kray so we could come out good…lol. See? You didn’t invent this whole value thing, difference is just that REAL MEN have the mental capacity to see the values they want in a woman same as a woman can see a man she wants and go for it….they don’t play the gender based blame game of women being more intuitive and they definitely don’t get intimidated by confident women who possess great qualities and then go and find some poor chick with low self esteem to bully around.
      I’m not even saying you shouldn’t want what you want, but who are you by the way and by the bush to be asking me story? Young man if you’re looking for a wife to help expand your investment portfolio? Then marry someone who has connections or works with that sorta thing…trust me, it’s surely not that difficult. While I’m a constant blessing to friends and family not to mention whoever I’ll end up marrying, I can’t help nobody build on something I have no clue about. Nope. I’m a pure scientist…tried some stuff, lost money, cut my losses and now if I could keep my money in my matress I would. In fact one of the values I look out for in men is financial suave….if that’s what you want just ask the babe on your date, “hey, what do you think/know about investments ” ….if she starts to stutter (like I would) then dump her ass….

      All I see here are a bunch of lil boys who have made small money….afterall all that you listed up there is the fact that you have money…my common sense already tells me that apart from that and plenty English, you probably don’t have much more than that to offer a woman…. At least not me…i have just enough money to get by, money can’t by the things I aspire for in life…so then I just might have to ask you Mr. Xang…” APART FROM MONEY, WHAT ELSE DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE?”

    • ssah

      June 18, 2015 at 9:24 am

      @Californiabawlar… gone are the days when we could abuse the like button. i for like your comment a million times. God bless you for spelling it out.i love your comments and that of Mz Socially Awkward, where is she by the way? don kiss her tire. anyways, i keep telling even my female friends sef, when u objectify the guy then it will become a marriage of “what u have to offer”. i see no reason why we should even start asking jamb questions. agreed, some questions are important but ewo ni ti “what can u bring to the table” egba mi oooo.
      a guy was telling me he needed to get married, when i asked why he said bcs his house needed cleaning and all dt, i told him he needed a maid not a wife, and why not, he can afford a maid fa. the guy sha left and went to marry someone else..good luck!..

    • Alem

      June 18, 2015 at 9:55 am

      @Californiabawlar abeg 100 gbosas to you jor. If I could love your comment 1000 times I would. Thing is there are so many men like Xag out there who feel because they were lucky enough to hustle small money to afford them the finer things in life they can now ‘interview a woman on what she brings to the table’. No beef on knowing what you want from a woman brah, but asking ‘what will you bring to the table’ is an outright insult. Its a marriage not a business partnership for crying out loud. Like Californiabawlar rightly said if you cannot on your own see a woman’s worth then sorry, even if she brings more ‘to the table’ you certainly do not deserve her.

    • ssah

      June 18, 2015 at 9:59 am

      don miss* her die ni ooo. not kiss.loooool

    • e dey pain u

      June 19, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Californiabawlar, your rant too much
      too many words without any sense

      So to you, your father a prof of psychiatry married your mother of good looks?
      Chai
      If no one has told you, you just insulted your mother.
      Your father has a lot to his profile- Bsc, Msc, Dr, Prof—-imagine what has taken him to get all those in terms of money, time, resources, commitment….and you now come to mother and say good looks-To hell with good looks.

      Xag saying what do you have to bring to the table doesnt mean asking her outright, it means what contribution are you going to make this marriage?

      You mean after all the Bsc Msc Dr Prof of Psychiatry one girl will just come and say she got good looks?

      Good looks finish for market?
      Even hoes and prostitutes gat good looks
      Even a villager got good looks
      Even those in somalia, iran, azerbaijan, iraq, got good looks
      Na good looks, yansh and p…i go chop?
      Whats d diff btwn a girl like dat and a prostitute

      Komot my friend
      You like to think say you get brain/sense
      being seeing you all over
      komot for my screen jo

    • Muntle

      June 20, 2015 at 9:41 am

      I LOVEEEEEEEE @californiabawler. Took the words out of my mouth. I pray God blesses you with a man who will appreciate you because GIRL you spoke the TRUTH!

  24. Bithces digging gold

    June 17, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    Bitches be using the excuse of “what if he marries someone else/men don’t remember those who suffered with them” since 1900 to establish their search for a RMM.

    Mofin abi wetin dem dey call you sef? hope you read this. why you dey fall my hand sef?
    stop bringing up these issues and leave these girls to enjoy their lives and stay in their fathers house till mr RMM will come and if he doesn’t, all well and good.

    dem say dem no want men, na by force? leave dem alone na

    • Bithces digging gold

      June 17, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      Sometimes, many of you talk like illiterates. When it comes to this aspect, your reasoning and judgement is beclouded.

      What do you mean by when he is made? The right word is when you both are made.
      Lets use illustration of from 100k salary =250k=500k=750k=1m

      Assuming 100k is scratch and 1m is the made that you claim he dumps you for another girl cos he feels you are not up to standard(that is even a wrong notion or feeling of inadequacy on your part cos no man/woman should remain the same over the years, you need to grow so that the world doesn’t outgrow you/leave you behind)

      You mean when he was earning 250k, your life wasn’t affected?
      You mean when he was earning 500k, you weren’t upgraded as well?
      You mean when he earned 750k, bought a car, land, house, you weren’t affected and your name wasn’t included on the acquired property (ies)

      Be there deceiving yourself. If you like, do, if you like, no do
      Na your life
      live am the way you want
      Mofin, abeg back off from marriage matter

  25. kandy

    June 17, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    My dear ladies please don’t fool yourselves especially in this Lagos, cos you will be there settling with one “no car 90k a month prospective young man” meanwhile he has one job hunting side chick he is paying his tithe to, while sleeping in your house on week days because of traffic..
    so please if your are successful there is nothing wrong with aiming for an equally or more successful guy. i mean it’s not a sin to wipe your tears with Hermes Handkerchief…… love high and keep your passport busy.

  26. Tiny colored miracle

    June 17, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Wen dy say “hustle with d man” …….I tel dm…..all d hustling am hustling to get bachelor”s degree,I don dy hustle already,I cannot suffer twice in life,especially wen it’s on behalf of a monkey dt will still dump me,let everybody hustle im own o,dts y dm dy send boy’s to skul too,hustle with him koh……especially in ds times wen u can’t even trust men…….abeg waka forward..mshew

  27. @edDREAMZ

    June 17, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    Guy clap for urself abeg… Yu make point die no doubt….
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    • Californiabawlar

      June 17, 2015 at 11:18 pm

      Eddy bobo!! I missed you!!!

      I don’t even read your comments…but I missed scrolling past it…if that makes any sense. I would ask how you dey, but you never respond to comments anyways…lol.

  28. TeeDee

    June 17, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    I really want to support your article. But as a female am all too familiar with the other end of the rainbow. That’s wen u put ur all into a man with potential and he drops u when d going is good…. anywaiz…..

  29. Yamaha, Omalicha 1 of Alishime!

    June 17, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    Yes! This the kind of topic Yamaha likes. Iffa year say Yamaristic Yamarisco, the one and only Omalicha 1 of Alishime Agbor of Delta state marry man wey dey for struggs mode, MY BN pipo take note because it can only be the handiwork of the spirits that disturb smooth human functioning! Make money and establish yourself first, then come and yamacoco will listen and access your real character. My pipo hear me, hear now! You can only and only and truly know a man’s character when he has money, I mean real money that can afford some bomb ass luxury. Why should I suffer with you? For what? Lol, Yamaha no dey do that kind thing. I should sweat with you so that when you make the Kuli, I start looking like house girl to you and Nneka that refused to drop her standards and has permanently been on high maintenance budget would now start looking like diamond in the sky to you, you will now shift me one side and I’ll will now almost run mad, maka Nwoke, mba! Chukwu aju ife njo njo!

    Please gerraraahere Mehn mr olofin, advocate for the single and broke guys. In poverty Nwoke odi very humble but once Anya na-ahu ego, story bu another day. You can’t use Yamaha to struggle so you can impress Chidnma, tufiakwa. My sister has suffered in the hands of broke men, to the extent of giving out money in the name of “he will not forget me”and “I Love him.” Asi!!!! They will drop you like hot, smelly shit! Come to Yamaha when you have money. Then we will see what we can do about your need for a companion. Yamaha is also working at her end, so it will be a match made in money??? I have never hustled or struggled in my life. I’ve worked and still working, like any responsible adult who takes care of themselves. I have always had everything on a platter. Attended the best schools, had a well established network of connected individuals. My father wasn’t rich but he made sure his children had the best things in life even if he meant him borrowing. So why should I go backward, Biko why? Maka gi? Forward ever it is for baby girl!

    My fellows womens Biko ige nti, love with your brain, not heart, you year. It’s not mandatory you suffer with any man. It’s your sweat and suffering he will use to buy Maserati for akpako runs girls in your face and there’s nothing you can do, because you won’t want to leave your empire behind. So you suffer and smile. If you didn’t make it, it would be easy to leave it, especially when you’ve made your own. So once any misbehaviour bido, you will pack your bags and gbaaoso. Yes! Look for ready made men, it’s your right. Don’t go with broke ass men, they shouldn’t even be loving, if they don’t have what to love you with. A word is enough!

    • Bitches digging gold

      June 18, 2015 at 8:36 am

      Yamaha Yamaha
      Yamaristic Yamarisco

      Me laugh you in all d languages of the world!
      hehehehe
      hahahaha
      jejejejejeje
      hihihihihii
      wuwuwu
      choichoichoi

      30 years from now, would love to hear from you again.
      After all your dreams, you will wake up to reality some day.

    • bchoco

      June 19, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Me don laugh tire, love your philosophy

  30. mabel

    June 17, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    ‘it is not a sin to wipe your tears with hermes handkerchief’ me likey @ Kandy. After all a Rebecca married a rich Isaac. Didn’t a certain Ruth marry a rich guy named Boaz? Abeg waka far. A marriage that will work will work. Different destinies biko.

  31. Alias

    June 17, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    I’m not trying to be shallow or difficult but… Why is anyone hustling with a man they are not married to? Is it in the hope that he will most certainly settle down with you? I’m not saying that everyone should marry a RMM. However a man who you are not married to can decide to leave you anyday and anytime and unless you’ve legal proof that you contributed to his empire, you’ve no claims to his resources.

    • Prowess

      June 18, 2015 at 1:58 pm

      GBAM

  32. Strit Kredibility

    June 17, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Mofin according to that your picture, e be like say you just collect brain. Meself i no go mind woman wey go give me brain sef o

  33. Chy

    June 17, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    Yo Mofin, those things you described are not high standards. I thought you are educated. Don’t you know how to call a spade, a spade? Any woman planning to reap where she did not sow or what she is not able to sow is operating with low standards of and for herself. A full grown self-respecting female does not look at a man or another human being in terms of his material earnings because she herself can attain it too, it just might take longer time. Plz, young man stop disrespecting us women with some of your untthought-through write ups. Please respect yourself before you get that attention you do badly want in very not so good way.

  34. A Rare Commodity

    June 17, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    I can’t agree more. Many people have failed to address the issue of men who have no good intentions. The days where men were ambitious and looked for great qualities in a woman rather than how she looks and whether she’s the nagging type are long gone. The real issue here is that many women HAVE compromised a big deal and lowered their standards for men who are wolves in sheep clothing. A powerful prayer is for the spirit of discernment and patience.

  35. Dr J

    June 17, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    the Nigerian economy is not messing around and is not smiling.
    Hunger, greed/covetousness will make you do despicable things…this is true to both guys and ladies
    But , I marvel at how ladies are easily carried away by flashy things, true love automatically appears from nowhere once they deem a guy is readymade! It now begs the question, What are people marrying for nowadays?..Does it mean all the flashy weddings I have been seeing are based on the groom’s high ReadyMade Man scores?
    So if ladies are all looking for readymade man, that means that we shouldn’t even assume love is in the equation when marriage is concerned? So have we now sunk to a level where we only care about money?
    I refuse to believe all the ladies are like that, likewise we have some good guys out there…both struggling and “Readymade”.
    But ladies beware, the wolves are now more than ever.Only GOD can show you who a man really is.

  36. whocares

    June 18, 2015 at 1:20 am

    YES I want and am with an RMM. There is NOTHING wrong with that! More especially when am an RMW( Already made woman). A confident one must I add. After all am an CEO of my own company and I know how hard I struggled to get there and YES it was done alone. To sit and be with what? potential for? to do what? use me? then leave me and with my money for the chick he struggled to get or the one that helped him out when he was on the street but yet i should consider his potential to do what? oh hell to the naw! NEXT ASOKORO straight! and in my G-WAGON. Call it whatever you may want because am not digging for gold but for platinum.

    • ssah

      June 18, 2015 at 10:14 am

      osheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  37. Who cares

    June 18, 2015 at 3:03 am

    I find topics like this very interesting… Yes I am with an RMM. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that . That’s because am an RMW( already made woman) and very confident. Am an CEO of my own company and I know how hard I struggled to get there alone. I must say it has definitely been a blessing. It only makes sense to be with RMM (to avoid certain things) more especially if his character is also intacted.
    This mr potential it’s either you got it or you don’t. What kills me is that some of these Mr potentials are the most gold digging men. what does he have the potential to do? To potentially use Rmw or to give her children? If so either way who will now potentially take care of things as well? The RMW alone? For the sake of marriage or what? This potential man who is paying bridal price? Would the RMW be the one to pay her own price and potentially marry herself? Or she should just wait until you potentially able to afford a wedding? Because you have the potential. Or you are just there to potentially use her and be with the side chick that you potentially worked hard for with an RMW money or what? Please please potential man get your shit together and potentially be with the one you can potentially struggle with together may be you will understand each other better.. And if you both potentially don’t have anything. If she is RMW and you have the potential uhm to be whatever men are not wired like women to potentially understand that such a woman perhaps saw your potential and believed in you, took you in but for you to perhaps turn around to be with another that wasn’t even there when you didn’t even have money for pure water.. To turn around and to do the eltimate no no..Pls next! To Ashokoro straight and in my G-wagon. Call it whatever you want I ain’t digging for gold am digging for platinum. Ladies before you start thinking/wanting an RMM pls have something to show for yourself first because you can’t ask for something your aren’t.

    • whocares

      June 18, 2015 at 11:01 am

      Na who you be? looool.

  38. like

    June 18, 2015 at 5:43 am

    During the days of my parents, most guys are hustlers while woman sat home or taught….

    When my Papa hit am, my Teacher trained mother became an illiterate. My mother alwayd says dont marry an hustler. Marry a guy that matches your level or higher

  39. Yes?

    June 18, 2015 at 9:31 am

    How many men actually stay loyal to the babe that started with them from the scratch. Abeg..I know better! So what if I am already made? I should also be looking to marry a hustler? No way! tell that to the girls who are still fresh out of school

  40. melikey

    June 18, 2015 at 11:53 am

    Lolllll……….. aint gonna settle for BAN (broke a$$ nigger) iz a too risky

    • e dey pain u

      June 19, 2015 at 9:00 am

      u wey no man has even come o toast
      even the BAN never look your side
      na the RMM go look your side?

      Settle ko, unsettle ni

  41. xag

    June 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Some of these women and delusion sef. Shouting I will only deal with ready made. Who told you the RMM is looking for you? See babes that we already know all talking as if every man who has made USD 2 million or more is on their case. Lol. You people are funny. Better wake up before it is too late. No wonder a new generation of RMMs has totally gone overboard and left you people behind in Nigeria. Go to Monaco and see what K.A is doing to European girls because he has a Yacht berthed there. Small Suji collected a drop of his money as investment and came back to Lagos and young women who are here forming gra gra, refused to sleep, boys just dey read the guy news for Internet dey laugh. What will now happen when the real RMMs come to town? Ha. Why do you think every other day, your young Nigerian RMMs are in Atlanta, New York and Miami? They have realized that their money is global and global women too have lined up from Yankee babes to the Eastern European cartel. Make una dey Lagos dey think say na by all this noise. Don’t go and find value to bring to the table. Marriage for me is a business transaction built on value with friendship in between. The days of liability are long over.

    • DOLLZ

      June 18, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      mr xag….. believe me…people like you end up marrying morons.. how can u say marriage is a business transaction to u.heheheehe…i laff in urhobo….take several seats abeg…. the way u think makes me sick…i cant stand your mentality jes coz youve made small cash for yourself….miami ko anambra ni.I tink you know what you want in a woman, y bother urself by shouting bring somethin to the table…re gonna marry a retard before or a woman that doesnt have value..so y shouting table table table…Go for what you want Kapishhh and stop bothering people with your table mentality…Table Hustler…kikikkikiki….i pity the woman that will marry you.keep sounding like a gold digger dere…you think everything that matters to women of substance is jes MONEY OR CARS..who re gan by the way….BRODA GERRAARAA HERE….OMODE IS WORRYING U.

    • e dey pain u

      June 19, 2015 at 8:50 am

      Dolap e dey pain you abi? deal with it
      You people think na only beautyu gats use to get a RMM
      Be thereday dreaming that its only a RMM you wil deal with
      RMM get your time?

      Many of you wey your father no get shishi na hin get d mentality of looking for a RMM
      those who are RML dont even care

      Na true talk Xag talk.

    • bchoco

      June 19, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      Have you asked those guys whop married Miami babes if they have a happy home, abeg leave matter for Mathias

  42. Hadassah

    June 20, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    Okay…. After reading most of the comment, with an unbiased mind I am just going to state proven facts some may find repulsive or outrageous…
    1. Marriage/relationship is overrated and I still can’t understand why people refuse to outgrow their Mill&Booms days for reality
    2. Marriage/ relationship is finacial and refusing to accept it is equivalent to saying your second name is Alice (in Wonderland)
    3. If you have something to loss/offer, settling for someone who has nothing to loss/offer is like taking off your panties and shaking your ass on a grilling stove…
    4. It is an established belief that marriage/relationship is the way to happiness but, this should be an individually answered question…. For you, is it?
    5. Ladies have to outgrow the notion that it is men’s responsibility to take care of them… We lost that right when we fought for equal rights and we can’t eat our cake and have it… Come to think of it, we took the jobs the lazy men are suppose to do so it was our choice to relieve them of their responsibilities and curse in Genesis… The part we didn’t think about before fighting for equal right was if they can get pregnant too and share in our pang of labour pain … Anyway, God is so fair, there is epidural anesthesia now…
    6. Paradoxically, the world is now filled with men with no ambitions and achievement and it is so accepted for them to want a successful woman to compliment or make the income, a beautiful woman to brag about, a bitch and sex siren in bed, a humble woman that will never talk back or complain, a homely woman that can keep and make a home, and a private woman with no friend/family… Unfortunately, a woman that has all these features encompassing is very rare… So to fulfil their insatiable desires, it is accepted for men to have Harlem in an equal right society… Very funny. Which leads me to my last point
    7. Since it is an equal right era, it is a woman’s choice to decide if she want to be a wife, a whore, a helper, a money spender, a companion, a fool or the wise one… In this era, the line between right and wrong is thinner than a spider web hence let your right opinion be YOUR RIGHT OPINION.

  43. sum1special

    June 22, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    Did i hear suffer with a man?if i hear. Thats the last thing i’ll ever do..Not at this age and time…Been there done that and it always blew up in my face. Men never remember how yu suffered with them. Very selfish people. I rather go for a self made man. They always know and go forward with what they want.

  44. kenechukwu lemmy okenna

    July 5, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    I believe that women that are seeking for already made man are just. Lazy and can’t achieve anything with such mentality.but some women sees beyound. It is essential for a woman to grow with the husband so they will bond well. The rrmm with see u as one of his assets and treats u as such. Why not take example from the rmm. Wifes. Women be wise and choose wisely

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