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‘Many Men have left very Good Women…A Man who wants to be Kept, has to see what will Keep Him’ Ali Baba Shares Relationship Advice



Ali Baba 1Ali Baba shared some relationship advice on social media this morning.

The comedian wrote under a photo on Instagram:

Ali Baba

Much as I agree, because examples abound, many men have left very good women. But a man who wants to be kept, has to see what will keep him. Don’t be fooled from what you see outside. There are usually reasons that make people walk away from what may seem to everyone as THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS. I know a lady who left a guy who had everything and was buff plus handsome. He however had vowed he would not have kids. The lady had to leave. Bottom line… There is more to what makes a relationship end than we may assume.

Photo Credit: Instagram/alibabagcfr

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - Twitter - @Adesola_AU


  1. Ebony

    June 18, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Ugh! Another day another relationship advice

    • natu

      June 21, 2015 at 12:00 pm

      Hahaha. As in!!! A don tire!!! Make it stop!!!!

  2. enough

    June 18, 2015 at 9:36 am

    E don do. Another day another relationship advice on how to keep a man. Thanks for the advice but can we discuss other intellectual things please. Truth is at this rate every woman knows what it takes to keep her man. The problem is the men, so face them instead. Later they’ll say naija women too like men everything they do is to snag a man. You men too leave us alone with the advice.

    • Blessing

      June 18, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Erm not all women alot of women are confused and refuse to face reality that because you have some sexy body and can cook and clean you can keep a man nope. If a man wants to be kept he knows the drill and some women need to learn this. It will save them alot of heartache. Besides its just a part of the online magazine it appeals to others.

    • Aj

      June 18, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      Lmao!!!! Too funny! Don’t mind them.

  3. Curious

    June 18, 2015 at 9:40 am

    Oh shut it!

  4. nnegel

    June 18, 2015 at 9:54 am

    this is so true, it shouldn’t be women alone, guys too have there only faults.

  5. Aibee

    June 18, 2015 at 10:01 am

    And so we come full circle. Back to blaming the woman because the man walked away. Heaven forbid that the man walked simply because he wanted to and not because of something his woman did or didn’t do. No! The man walked away because he didn’t “see what will keep him”.

    • nene

      June 18, 2015 at 5:32 pm

      i don’t think he’s blaming the women.

  6. FlyGirl

    June 18, 2015 at 10:22 am

    True Talk….No matter what u do a man that will cheat will still cheat.

    Pple should stop listening to relationship advice on “how to keep a man”. Use ur common sense to know what you need to do in your relationship and just enjoy every bit of it

  7. #depressedmuch

    June 18, 2015 at 10:28 am

    @alibaba, pls can i leave a man who moved into my house, does not pay rent (cuz i own the house) does not put down money for food and does not take care of our child. all i have been getting for 2 years is promises he would pay me back as soon as he gets a better paying job (or he wins the lottery). everyone says dont look down on him now cuz i dont know the future, i am believing in him, encouraging him, doing all i can, but brother seems to be just fine where he is so long as i pick up the bills. i dont want to be seen as materialistic and i had to lower my standards to be with him. i swear, i don tire, would be nice to be taken care of for a change. (PS, he is very loving and kind o, but the financial burden makes all of that irritating to me). i am a woman, a helper, not a bread winner, a man should lead, i should follow.

    • ADA

      June 18, 2015 at 10:59 am

      Bible says a man that cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel..
      if his sincerely trying and not feeling comfortable in his situation or not living in a fantasy world then plz support and pray for him, marraige has its ups and downs..if his helping in other areas at home while he looks for a job..he doesn’t have to wait for the big paying job,he can find anything small and still keep his sights and target for the others just to start something..pride is nothing its actually very admirable when we remember our past beginnings…
      but if his plan is lottery and his so comfortable bout the situation..,cough then babe he needs some serious knock on the head..two have become 1..its us together financially and everything..My mum says never start something you cannot finish unless you want to be the sole breadwinner in your family.A real man cannot be seeing his wife struggling everday and be ok with that..Take care

    • fête

      June 18, 2015 at 11:04 am

      My sister please leave, been in a similar situation at the end of the day nothing to show for it owes me more than 5m I have to forget the money cos all I did I did out of love and I know he can’t pay back but guess what he was cheating on me like crazy, he was just as loving as you said never raised his voice at me never laid a finger on me. But all that was pretense cos I was footing his bills when he saw that I was getting tired of his stories he started looking for another wealthy girl to foot his bills as soon as he found one he kicked me to the curb he is currently engaged to one rich madam and I know he just wants someone to take care of him and foot his bills like I did. I say all this to say he’s just loyal cos of the money as soon as he gets on his feet or sees someone else to take care if him he’ll leave. I know it’s hard to leave but the straw that finally broke the camels back for me was when he gave me an STD. I said no enough is enough.

    • Miss Dee

      June 18, 2015 at 12:10 pm

      Bloody hell …jeez STI DAMN

    • Moji

      June 18, 2015 at 11:06 am

      @”i am a woman, a helper, not a bread winner, a man should lead, i should follow.”… Wahala!! Where are all the feminists in the house?? Chimamanda where art thou?

    • Ross

      June 18, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Please don’t apologise for wanting a man to do his duty (women do this a lot). You are right in your frustration. It is a curse for a woman to give a man money (regularly) and the rate at which roles are shifting in Africa is frightening.
      Unfortunately I have no advise for you because you alone know what you’re going t´hrough and I believe you already know what you have to do, but you’re afraid of what society will say. I’ll ask you something though: of what benefit is a man to you who sits at home? He doesn’t have to make as much money as you, but a man who feeds off a woman is not a man. It doesn’t matter the circumstance. He should go out and sell plantain if thats what he can do, but he must work. A man must go out and work!

    • guidelines

      June 18, 2015 at 11:26 am

      “i had to lower my standards to be with him”

      Did he put a gun on your head for you to forcefully say yes to him?
      Did he kidnap you to church to marry him?

      Ladies be wanting marriage at all cost, marry just anybody and when they now wake up to reality, they start lamenting.

      If he is not good for you from the onset, dont even bother accepting his proposal.

      “a man who moved into my house”- You mean he moved in an dyou are not married to him? didnt even say a word about being married to him- he moved into your house….oshi

      Anyway tins never spoil. You dont need to ask alibaba, just leave him or better still send him packing since he is in your house

    • Benny

      June 18, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      I totally understand your plait, I am in the same shoes like your’s, it’s being 19 years and all I get is promise upon promises. He drives my new car, live in a good house in a good area and always want to be in charge. Anytime I tell him we should go our separate ways, he would beg and promise to change but that doesn’t last. He works but to make as much as I make but I don’t know what he does with his money. When and if I ask, it becomes an issue for him, he will respond by saying he has a debt he is trying to pay off. Am confused, as much as I want to go he keep begging that things would change plus, I don’t want my 3 children to have the notion that I left their father because he could not provide for us.

    • Jamce

      June 26, 2015 at 11:07 pm

      @Benny, Ode you are not. But is it that the debts are everlasting and what is it that he incurred the debts for? Na one chance you don enter. Lay the rule on pro rata contribution to running the home in the proportion of your earnings. Do the budget and pro rate the contribution. If he still doing that debt excuse, just pack or send him out. Perhaps, you are afraid of being single and using the children as your excuse. 19 years of the same story. Is he cursed?

  8. chifire

    June 18, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Women with double standards. Now dt ur providing 4 d home, u hv remembered dt women re helpers not bread winners. Abegi shift. U knew he was a lazy broke ass b4 u married him so quit complaining. Set him up in a gud biz & use ur connections to grow d biz.

    • Tootsy

      June 18, 2015 at 11:41 am

      MMmmmmmmsssscccchhhhhwwwwww. Set him up ko, set u up ni.

    • Don't be wicked!

      June 18, 2015 at 11:43 am

      Have something to say? Say it nicely next time and stop with the wicked heartless comments.

    • enkay

      June 18, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      Really? Go and do that yourself if you are a woman.

  9. JustAgirl

    June 18, 2015 at 11:29 am

    This is VERY true! If only people can see that. It is not always what it seems. Great relationships end for reasons best known to the two people involved. I say because I have experienced it personally

  10. Anita

    June 18, 2015 at 11:33 am

    @ Depressedmuch yes i feel you can haba what kind of man is he? In the first place why are you staying with him, are you guys married if yes then the next question how come he is the one moving into your house not the other way round. If am not mistaken i know this type of men, not ambitious but comfortably leaving of a woman without shame. If you are not married you should ask him to move out, 2yrs is long enough for him to get something doing, if he is your husband hmmm then sit down with him and analyse the whole situation to know the way forward. It is wrong for a woman to be completely in-charge of a home, the man should be the breadwinner and the woman supporting him. If he is not forthcoming abeg he should move out or wear the pants as a man. As of the love and kindness na just disguise to dabaru you be that.

    But women sef why will a man marrying you or maybe going out with you move into your apartment, you born for am, feed him, clothe him and you go dey give am pocket money too all in the name of what love? Warris Dat?
    Hmm that one na complete opportunist the man be.
    Abeg make i hear word he is loving and kind why then are you complaining, continue and be happy while you enjoy the love and kindness. Why won’t he be when you are doing everything for him, and also you are encouraging him to be lazy.

    @ Alibaba you no see wetin go keep you and Mary bassey abi? That was why you waka comot and later saw what you were looking for and came back to her after 8yrs, isorite. Your first wife nko as you no see wetin go keep una togeda and you waka go meet MaryB, abeg make MaryB try keep o so you no go waka comot again.

    I no fit shout abeg make i go do my oga work before they sack me becos i no get man house wey i wan move go or who go give me pocket money.

  11. jayjay

    June 18, 2015 at 11:48 am

    They always walk away because they are chickens. They cant face their problem. Most are insecure. Pls change the topic to what it takes to keep a woman. These days men want already made women too. Men get it together

  12. chigurl

    June 18, 2015 at 11:52 am

    Here we go AGAIN!

  13. Miss Dee

    June 18, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    Lol ….Im loving the comments, Well i do agree with this man. A man that wants to be kept and not dashed away and wants to be taken seriously will behave himself no matter what. If the man is not serious and not ready to settle and you think by cooking cleaning giving him good sex and nodding your head to everything he says despite you disagree will keep your are having a laugh. Us women need to step up and understand being Good and cooking cleaning doesnt keep a man. Focus on what is important and that is yourself build yourself as a woman and stop doing goody too shoes cause you want to keep a man.
    If a man wants to be kept he knows what he has to do [email protected]#depressedmuch GIRL only you know what is best for you nobody can tell you what to do. In the U.K we would say leave him lazy git ..personally I would but you know whats best for you hun.

  14. sista

    June 18, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    I pray to God to let me live to see the day that the male population outnumbers that of the female, then we ll see what the headlines will be like.
    women were suppose to be helpers of men but it seems desperation has made us helpless and rather the men helpers.
    we were made to be found , kept and treated like gems and not become baby mamas etc. if we start to get our principles right, these men wont have the audacity to tell us how to keep them.

  15. Who Cares

    June 18, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    Yea it takes more than physical to keep anyone including a woman. Communication is also the key. You can slave yourself and perform circus tricks if you want…cater to all his needs. He can still step out on you perhaps to get a psy consult on himself. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing and ladies your conditions would have to be met first. A man that wants to be kept will be kept. That’s a choice or he can go to hell.

  16. zsa Zsa

    June 18, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    I don’t think he is blaming the woman but rather saying a man will walk away from a relationship REGARDLESS of how great the woman might be. He leaves or cheats for reasons best known to him.

    Im going to have to get the hubs to write an article on how to GET AND KEEP A GOOD WOMAN.

  17. True talker

    June 20, 2015 at 12:28 am

    All these women claiming smartness and modernity I assume most of you are still under 30… worry once u start getting past 30 to mid 30s some of u will look for a homeless man , cloth him , bring into ur mansion for the sake of marriage/ companionship…u can brag all u want….beyonce will deceive u lot with women rule girl power and goes home to be controlled by jay-z ..chimamanda will claim feminist n go home to be an obedient wife and u fools r here ranting on social media… Fela would say wether u like or u no like……it’s a man’s world….get over ur confused female minds….

    • natu

      June 21, 2015 at 12:28 pm

      No we will not. We are not all desperate like you!!

  18. ruk.ola

    July 9, 2015 at 10:54 am

    We know ourselves(whether women/men). We decide whatever we choose to do.I believe whats worth doing is worth doing well..

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