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‘We Live in a World where a Woman is Blamed for Everything’ Watch Toke Makinwa’s Vlog for the Week titled ‘The Show Goes On’



Toke MakinwaToke Makinwa’s vlog for this week has probably been her most anticipated vlog and it’s finally out – a day late.

In this week’s vlog titled ‘The Show Goes On’ she briefly talks about the drama that dominated the media for the past few days before moving on to steps for dealing with a public breakup or separation.

She advises women who have been betrayed, cheated on and more.

Watch the vlog below:

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - Twitter - @Adesola_AU


  1. Beeeee

    June 18, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    I have never really cared for Toke but she just gained a new fan #teamstrongwomen ??????

    • polypoly

      June 18, 2015 at 3:47 pm

      can we please stoppppp this strong lady mess??? a strong woman will not go into a relationship and end up with such marriage. a strong woman knows whats she wants and will not settle.

      geez!!! all tea all shade, Toke knew Maje long ago before the sham wedding….quiet as its kept, she was fighting with so-called sidechics for him. the moment u have to torment a sidechic or make her life hell, then hunny u are delusional. sidechics are not to blame, ur husband or boyfriend is to blame. Sorry boo, u were the side chic urself. You forced this marriage my dia, cos there are better men in Lag for u. I guess u wanted the “big boy status” and access to the elite social circle. gworl, u got all of those things so quit the sob story.

      you used him to get wat you wanted hunnay….the build up to the wedding, the break up, the surprise wedding and now the divorce rumors have just been a serious soap opera all written and directed by you Toke Makinwa. Yasssssss hunty!!!! you berra weerrrrkkkkk….
      you didn’t need Idumota Road or 51 Iweka road, onitsha to market this nollywood story. smh

    • Beeeee

      June 18, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      Oh my gosh, can we stoppppppp talking as if we were in the relationship with them. Oh my gosh, the hypocrisy of people these days is appalling. Can we stop acting like we know all all the intimate details? (unless you have something to share with the BN family) We only know what social media allows us and we know most of those things are untrue. What exactly is pinching you about me calling her a strong woman??? A woman who does everything right still gets cheated on. Women who get deflowered by the men they get married to still get cheated on by the same men. There is no formula for a perfect marriage. It is just the grace of God. All these little tit-bits of information you are throwing out about their relationship, I do not care for. The way we hide behind anonymous names and judge these people sha. She may not be a strong woman to you but she is a strong woman to me. Indeed the show must go on. The fact that no one sees our little dirty sh*t we do besides closed doors does not give us a right to judge these people. And please which big boy status are you talking about.? The woman is out there hustling for herself you are talking about big boy status. I pray you are not a woman and i pray that as the perfect strong woman that you are, someone does not do this to you. Tufiakwa!

    • Ross

      June 18, 2015 at 5:06 pm

      My dear, strong women fall for terrible men all the time. Your strength is not defined by how ‘sharp’ you are. Strength is defined by what you do in times of tribulation and thats what makes her strong. She’s dealing with it.
      Don’t kick a person when they’re down. Just because your’e behind a keyboard doesn’t make you less accountable for your words. Strong women fall for rotten men all the time. Strength is not perfection. It is imperfection that wants to grow!

    • Dolly

      June 18, 2015 at 5:39 pm

      Being strong doesn’t mean that one is perfect and doesn’t make mistakes. To me part of being strong means being able to deal with the things life throws at you I.e. Pick yourself up, learn from it and move forward as a better person.

      I admire Toke, her vlog today made me smile and pray to God to give her the strength she needs.

    • osan

      June 18, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      Wao, you are a really warm and thoughtful person!

    • Ruler

      June 18, 2015 at 5:54 pm

      Don’t mind this looney @Pwarliepwarlie who obviously lives in lahlah land most of the time. I am actually surprised she can string together anything intelligent. @poly poly, Pls. Stick to your crazy talk and leave this one for sensible people.

    • Gigi

      June 18, 2015 at 6:08 pm

      Thank you. Strong women don’t have 12 years to allocate to a mashanfani called maje. Only a low self -esteemed woman would date a man for long. Amazing how their spent more time dating while 15 months into their marriage Anita is expecting

    • jide

      June 18, 2015 at 6:52 pm

      Funky Dineva in the house. Dead to the bed# my haair is laid like toke forming strong.

    • ChiamakaDaniels

      June 18, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      So you are saying Toke orchestrated her marriage and failed marriage all by herself abi????
      Clap for Yourself,

    • Funky Dinevas Lover

      June 18, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      LMAO you clearly watch too many funky dineva vids! hehehhehe

    • Adain

      June 18, 2015 at 8:44 pm

      I wish I could like reach out to you somehow and give go like 2 or 3 resounding slaps.

    • kate

      June 18, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      from your comments and rants, it sounds like you are a friend to the ex-gf of 8yrs. or maybe you are the ex-gf sef. Who knows?

    • AsMyself

      June 18, 2015 at 10:24 pm

      TOKE IS A STRONG WOMAN!!! Kill yourself!

    • AsMyself

      June 18, 2015 at 10:26 pm

      TOKE IS A STRONG WOMAN! ! ! Kill yourself!

    • nnenne

      June 18, 2015 at 10:27 pm

      @ polypoly.. You are unbelievable! !!
      Tell me anyone who has not made a mistake in their life, no matter how little?
      What if she did all these things you are accusing of. Does that mean that she should stop living?
      The woman told you, her intention was to talk to/ about her fans who wrote to her and not about herself. What do you want?

      Am proud of her for remaining strong in the midst of adversary. : The issue in life is not falling down but being able to get up whenever we fall!
      How else do we grow?

    • Latifa

      June 19, 2015 at 12:53 am

      Oh pls shut it who told you you can control what comes your way? Yes a strong woman can end up in such a marriage it is how you handle it that actually makes you strong. Some people will put their life on hold coz of this but she is moving on coz once there is life there is hope.

    • Queen

      June 19, 2015 at 11:57 am

      Any unlike button please! bella you need to create one, as I needed it at this moment having just liked the above comment.

      I will not judge another woman in situations like this, as strong a woman as I claim to be, life is most uncertain. Toke stay strong

    • Ra

      June 19, 2015 at 3:24 pm

      Some of the slangs you use while writing used to irritate the hell out of me, but for today you’re pardoned cos you made some sense with your analysis. Lol… Waiting for Toke’s hounds. Woof woof!

    • troublemaker

      June 20, 2015 at 12:32 pm

      Very dissappointing comment, You seem to be holier than though. May her situation not be your portion. Not eberytime comment sometimes read, take in and move along

    • Khamila

      June 18, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      Toke i loovvvvveee you!You go girl!

    • Shopperoflife

      June 18, 2015 at 6:58 pm

      I just love this girl d more! You cannot roll over and die. If you choose to die, plenty babes will be ” cutting” eye ala wink at him at the cemetery. Young man blood boiling, his family and friends will find him a replacement six months max. Becos, it is not “good for a man to be alone”. Hogwash!

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 18, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      Just noticed her wedding pic has been taken down!!!
      Her eyes her swollen too.
      Bless her. x

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 18, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      are*****not her. yuckk typo business

    • Autocorrect

      June 20, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      Don’t worry, I only noticed it when you mentioned it. My brain has learnt to auto correct these things :).

    • Tana

      June 19, 2015 at 12:11 am

      I just can’t stand all the jump cuts in this video, can’t she just talk straight? I’m out!

    • MOM

      June 19, 2015 at 9:35 am

      i am sooo happy the show has to continue. but try and be careful how u judge ppl when doing ur show and dishing out advices.

  2. deee

    June 18, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    lol omo its like toke is even the owner of the house. i thought they said maje is from a rich home?please toke supporters so the house is not even for maje? and please all this lagos socialite friendships fake fake and toke has lots of them

    • Tuu

      June 18, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      And so what if the house belongs to her? A lot of us talking, our mothers were/are the breadwinners in our homes but we’ll come here to start ranting cos we’re faceless. The house thing is no point at all. A good woman supports her husband with all she has including her house, so pls stop with d sarcasm, this is a real person, somebody’s life, don’t push people to commit suicide with such nasty comments. And this is for you too Polypoly, some men just cheat, it doesnt have to be the woman’s fault, no matter how much sex she gave to him, if he was gonna cheat he would’ve and please how can a 40 something year old MAN! be forced into marriage, if you’ve made the commitment. Then you’ve an obligation to stay faithful, it’s called self control!

  3. geeeeeee

    June 18, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Toke heeeeey u removed your wedding pic from the wall so fast nahhhhhhh??????????

    • Tolani

      June 18, 2015 at 5:10 pm

      If history is any indicator, the picture will be back 4 weeks max. You have no idea how messy Toke is. Hahah. She can’t handle being single . Strong woman ko, hulk hogan ni

    • beautycee

      June 18, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      lols. i tot i was the only one that noticed.

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 18, 2015 at 10:55 pm

      lol….my comment exactly.
      After all that is said and done, I have a feeling she will take him back.
      I also think she tried to talk about herself but not talk about herself.
      Do you get? Video was a mixture of rant, self -motivation talk etc.
      Tbh,she saw it coming and as she said, denial isn’t good (paraphrasing).
      I also think deep down she knew what she was getting into.

      All the same, she such a little fighter. aww. x

  4. Olori Tari

    June 18, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    “Judging from past vlogs, it seems the framed wedding photo of Maje Ayida and Toke Makinwa has been taken down from the wall of their house”…Kmt Bella Naija…una to do abeg! You really went to watch those videos to get screenshots! At first I was wondering why there were many pictures of her with different outfits then I read the write up again!

  5. geeeeeee

    June 18, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    And it also means the house is yours, Toke.

  6. Siggy

    June 18, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    With this, I av a second thought of Toke, she has acknowledged the issue….it’s not the end of the world! Enjoy ur life,chop ur money!

    • ik

      June 18, 2015 at 5:37 pm

      Yeah right! Like her money will comfort her in the night! Please I think she should take time to heal and review all that has happened to her. Learn her lessons and ask the Good Lord for guidance. All this VLogs and public appearances should be scaled down for now. There is nothing wrong in grieving, it is a healing process.Toke I wish you well!

    • osan

      June 18, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      She should scale down her source of income bcos of a man? Double tragedy. Toke please ask Uche Jumbo to introduce you to a nice dude outside Nigeria. He could be Nigerian or white. The best place to marry a Nigerian man is in the west. There, them know say their adultery carry consequences. I need to start this introduction thing. LoL !

    • Tiwa

      June 18, 2015 at 6:48 pm

      There is no point stopping all the vlogs and all. Her life and businesses have to continue and go on, she doesnt have to brood all day publicly…….like you would give her a shoulder to cry on or feed her when she’s broke if she stops going through her daily bizness. SMH. Toke, you are handling it well. May God give you strength to bear this ish.

    • Teargas

      June 18, 2015 at 7:29 pm

      Why should she scale down??? There are bills to be paid, endorsements to sign, a new man to find, self discovery! No she ain’t going to hide under a rock. It’s the guy’s loss.

    • Dedun

      June 18, 2015 at 9:47 pm

      Upon money, house, weave and eye lashes on clerk, the guy she sucked up so much embarrassment to be wih still left her high and dry. Bloooooop

    • Godsangel

      June 19, 2015 at 8:55 am

      Did the man die that you want her to be grieving? Bad belle…..Toke move on pretty Queen and chop ur money…..Someone else will come along, loneliness is for a while.

  7. Gloria

    June 18, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Great girl.

  8. word

    June 18, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    I love her. Grief when hurt but only for a while.. Never ever bite the dust. Life isn’t worth losing over any human being. May God grant every hurting heart the strength to overcome.

  9. pinkie

    June 18, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    Detective BN! I hail thee.. stay strong Tokstarrrr

  10. cleo

    June 18, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Oh wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1. Now i believe that breaking the news of Maje’s mistress pregnancy was a publicity stunt.
    It could be true that the girl is pregnant and all, meaning Maje was sleeping with her.
    However removing her wedding picture, and all. Haba!!!!!!!!!!!
    Anything for the fame

  11. Tuu

    June 18, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    It’s obvious she’s hurting, this too will pass Toke love, it’s not your fault your husband cheated. Don’t let what people say weigh you down.

  12. Céline Mademoiselle

    June 18, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    I was waiting for this vlog since yesterday evening. I’m so proud of Toke for keeping her head high. She is so STRONG ! Indeed, the show must go on ! As we say in french “Un de perdu, 10 de retrouvés !”. Positives vibes from Belgium my dear Toke ! God will provide.

  13. Simple

    June 18, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Oh wow! The lamp isn’t there either, it’s been taken away :-o! Her hair is disheveled, she was crying and couldn’t comb it (sarcasm). So much time spent analyzing someone else’s life, I wonder how you would feel if the same was done back to you. I wish people would just let her be, and when she is ready she will share her story. In the meantime, give her kudos for the strength she is showing.

    Women go through so many things, some break under pressure, some are strong enough to keep “living”. Like she said, no matter what pain you have endured, remember, the sun will shine tomorrow. At the end of the day, you’ve got just one chance at life, let it be one that you can someday look back, and be proud that you lived well, despite all the obstacles life threw in your way.

    Always treat people well, let you words build and not destroy. You will never know how your actions/words could be the difference between life or death.

    • Below average

      June 18, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      Spot on. I’m so embarrassed by BN’s actions. Anything for hits I guess.

      Toke, stay strong babe! Let people keep typing essays about YOUR life since they have nothing better to do

    • Iris

      June 18, 2015 at 9:15 pm

      Oh please. Who asked her to put up the vlog? It isnt like they broke into her house and took pictures. She wants people to talk about it obviously which is why she is talking about it. She has cried finish or done whatever she needed to do. The hustle is on. After all if she has kicked him out of the house, the burden of bills just doubled.

  14. Ross

    June 18, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    I like her vlogs and respect her hustle. When a woman shines, our society can’t handle it (and many times, even our husbands, unfortunately). Thing we need to understand as a people is, a nation can only go as far as the women in society goes. So all these people hating and shouting all over the place ”the African woman must do xyz” are fooling themselves. We will fly HIGH!!!

    • natu

      June 18, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      So true. They are jealous!!!! Why can’t a women be career driven? Why does she have to sacrifice that side of her in the name of marriage? I thank God I didn’t grow up in Africa.

  15. Mimsx

    June 18, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    Anyone noticed that the picture of Maje and Toke on the wall is no longer there?

    • Teargas

      June 18, 2015 at 7:32 pm

      So what????? We should drink otapiapia!

    • Anon

      June 20, 2015 at 2:09 am

      If u like drink rat poison..pls let people express their opinions..

  16. day

    June 18, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    This is so good for my Naija girls and women to see that a man cannot destroy you. Naija women are blamed for every thing, if Toke didn’t hustle to get money and her husband sleeps around, they will blame her for being lazy and justify the man’s actions. If Toke hustles to make money, they will still put the blame on her and say her looking for money was what caused the breakdown of her marriage! It is a case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. People keep forgetting that when women make money many times, it is the husband and children who spend the money. So what do you want Toke or any woman to do? She didn’t go and sleep around but was faithful to her husband and look at what he did to her? My belief is that women should just live their lives, satisfy their conscience before God and be happy. In Nigeria, women would always be blamed for the foolish actions of their men and the men too take advantage of this crazy cultural norm to do stupid things they would later on say was caused by their wives. Toke I hope the story of Maje’s baby mama is not true but if it is true carry your head high and pray for wisdom to deal with it in a way that will make you happy and face your future! No body can blame you for a cheating husband who is more than a decade older than you!

    • Ashley B

      June 18, 2015 at 6:18 pm

      loool……. As a Guy my response to ur comment is, u guessed it…………….. WELCOME TO FEMINISM!! the struggle is REAL!! MEN have it easy sha, as we are the ones that sadly have to have the last laugh!!! lol!! I wish more could be done for the plight of women, but frankly………….. i hate to admit n say it, AINT NOTHING GONNA CHANGE!! historically, women have always been violated and put in their place. this phenomenon has been gwanning for over 4000 yrs!! (a very classic example is KING SOLOMON, from d top of my head, he had 700 wives yea n maybe 1700 girlfriends) and still he was one of the greatest MEN in his time. So clearly, if same is to apply to mr AYIDA, he hasnt done much wrong as long as TOKE decides to Forgive. For me that should bring a closure to d matter at least in the MEDIA scene!! but hey, what do I know? i’ll tell you…….What i do know is that, for the struggle called FEMINISM to hold any water, or materialize or get sustained, it has to be approved by we so called MEN!! if not then may the REAL feminists stand up?

    • Below average

      June 18, 2015 at 7:05 pm

      I can’t believe a grown ass man typed this. Legit lost for words.

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 18, 2015 at 11:06 pm

      do you know what I am tempted to say!!!
      YOU ARE A STANDARD BASTARD( I am TEMPTED TO SAY IT). A comment I saw on fb while a dude tried it on another dude. Besides, the point.
      You made the most illogical response EVER. I do not even for once consider myself a FEMINIST. But this comment you made, shows how irrelevant you are to society.
      So in other words, women should be treated as crap???
      Again, I am tempted to call you all the names under the sun but I hope you have a daughter that gets treated like the way KING SOLOMON had, as you have put it had many wives/concubines.
      Lets hope you will be happy then and appreciate men even more.

      Truth surely does taste ‘bitter’ when you drink it.

      You have lost the purpose and sight of what a MAN and WOMAN represents. Its a shame men like you are still around to spew such.

      Btw, my first telling off on BN. You deserve it.

  17. Herber

    June 18, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    Toke is actually a strong lady I pray God give her all the strength she needs u just gained another fan #teamstrongwomen

  18. Bleed Blue

    June 18, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to introduce you to the most social-media savvy business woman in Nigeria as of today 18.06.15.

    I Bleed Blue, would have been a complete wreck with no clue how to handle the amount of backlash she’s getting. She won’t even respond to the hateful comments on her Instagram, she won’t delete them, nada!

    Irrespective of what people think about her constant events and media presence, there’s a lesson to be learned somewhere here. In her line of business, she’s one of those that gets it!


    • girl

      June 18, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      *joins in slow clap*

    • nil

      June 18, 2015 at 5:51 pm

      I totally agree with you. She is the new business model celebs should copy

    • Iris

      June 18, 2015 at 9:30 pm

      As in! If this girl went global l she could put the Kardashians to shame, and she probably wouldn’t even need to take a stich of clothing off.

    • Iris

      June 18, 2015 at 9:32 pm

      I’m almost in awe of her.
      I still cannot watch her vlogs though.

    • k

      June 18, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      Continues slow clapping

  19. Funms

    June 18, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    Keep soaring Toke. I pray God perfects all that concerns you!


    June 18, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    While i laud your stand Toke, i just believe you should take a chill with the vblogs and advice. Why do i say so, no two marriages, relationships or situations are the same so why dont you take a step back, look inward and focus on you. While this maybe an outlet for you to be you, you need to chill. I believe Betty Irabor said it better with her advice on relationships and social media.Bearing in mind, these headlines and stories will forever be online. #enuffsaid.

    • Asgrl

      June 18, 2015 at 4:25 pm

      Don’t tell her what should work for her. Everyone has different coping mechanisms.

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 18, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Thank you Asgrl…tell them

    • Teargas

      June 18, 2015 at 7:36 pm

      Stick your advice where the Sun doesn’t shine. Like you care.

  21. Hmmm

    June 18, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    Watched the vlog. Toke, I can imagine what you must be going through, and I have to admit, you are a super woman, for you to even be able to tip toe around the topic of your very public marriage ish, it shows you have discipline….it’s almost mechanical. Perhaps you were truly made for this celebrity life. However, I don’t think you should have taken down the portrait of you and your hubby; almost seemed like that was done for a more dramatic effect for your new Vlog post. One thing I want to say though is this, the world can tell you what to do and what not to do when your man cheats (or worse), but only you know how you and your man relate. Keep being strong.

  22. Guidelines

    June 18, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    Ignorant, childish talk!

    Not everyone is a dummy. Not everyone is gender biased People apportion blame to whomever them deem is at fault. We cannot say because you are a woman, we wont apportion blame to you when you are at fault.

    To say “We live in a world where a woman is blamed for everything’ is fallacious.
    Using your case as an example, a single guy and single girls gets married, isn’t it expected that both of them will adjust, drop some single lifestyle and be more committed to the relationship/marriage? Naaa, that is not your own case. your own is mtn, anywhere you go, you must be there!

    Your man at fault and you at fault too
    Go siddon sumwhere jo

    • Guidelines

      June 18, 2015 at 3:35 pm


    • Keep Kwayet

      June 18, 2015 at 4:04 pm

      My fren wee yu keep kwayet!

    • K

      June 18, 2015 at 4:43 pm

      Extremely stupid comment

  23. bassy

    June 18, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    I will be back for comments….:)

  24. Mystique

    June 18, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Is this a coded message????? not sure i get the essence of this vlog but i commend you Toke for your fighting spirit. To have made a vlog in the face of all the drama, i say kudos. for once i watched the entire vlog and thank goodness the funny faces have stopped. Maybe its good Maje messed up so you can find yourself. I know there’s a lovely person inside of you waiting to burst out. I wish you all the best and remember, LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. we live and we learn. one love.

  25. Papparazi

    June 18, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    “Judging from past vlogs, it seems the framed wedding photo of Maje Ayida and Toke Makinwa has been taken down from the wall of their house.”

    @ BN, taken down by who?
    Is she still with the guy?
    same house as b4?
    who owns the house?
    If the guy rented/owns the house, why doing the vlog from his house?
    Can we see a pic of Maje packing out of the house if Toke owns it and vice versa

    • aproko

      June 18, 2015 at 10:08 pm

      it is a rented space, and since he is away with the side chic, she can do whatever she wants.
      And since its rented, he can move out and rent somewhere else while their divorce something finishes

  26. itiswell

    June 18, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    this girl is hilarious sha……LMAO….

    I actually liked the part about how women should stop living in denial and when someone shows you who they are believe them. I also like the part of no matter how people offend you, forgive them and keep it moving as it would give you peace of mind —- i live by this too.

    BUT the funny part now is that at the beginning she talked so much about waking up, not living in denial anymore etc… then at the end she now talked about forgiveness.

    Basically she has left the viewers to decide and debate on if she has left Maje for being disrespectful or if she has forgiven him. To the extent that even Bellanaija was confused that they had to include snapshots for us to decide……..LOOOL…

    Anyways toke all the best, but some of where not necessarily blaming you for what happened rather we were concerned and blaming you for not getting rid of disrespectful make during the dating years instead of waiting and allowing him to highly disrespect in marriage.

    • Madamsofo

      June 18, 2015 at 5:40 pm

      Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you still have to befriend them. I forgave my ex but didn’t get back with him. She can forgive him and still divorce him. Forgiving him, just means she won’t be bitter and curse him out in the nude at dawn daily before tasting salt , sugar, oil or drinking water lol. It means she won’t be vengeful, she will just move on happily ? with no resentment towards him or Anita.

    • ShineShineShine

      June 18, 2015 at 6:34 pm

      @madamsofo, you cracked me up at cursing him in the nude at dawn before tasting salt, sugar etc. lol does that thing work?

  27. pele dear

    June 18, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    But really, why does her mouth shape itself like that

    • Tuu

      June 18, 2015 at 6:12 pm

      Creator! take sand and make your own mouth.

    • Beeeee

      June 18, 2015 at 6:48 pm

      Kai, if only BN had not stopped us from liking comments more than twice??, you would have a thousand from me

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 18, 2015 at 11:11 pm

      Good comeback!

    • Teargas

      June 18, 2015 at 7:38 pm

      Ask her creator!

  28. Taipan

    June 18, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    Toke, you’re an african woman, a man is always the head…The bibble says men love your wife and woman be submissive, if there is an issue in the home you handle it with loyalty and not pride…[email protected] Beeee, hope you’re married? if you are not continue been strong, you go marry your [email protected]

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 6:48 pm

      WTF are u on about????

    • Egbami

      June 18, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      What head? I am an african woman and if my husband should try that rubbish with me, I will deal with him. There is no head and submissive in a relationship. Toke, capitalize as much as you want on this and deal with it your way. I am not a fan but I am impressed with the way you handled the situation. Don’t let anyone deceive you with african woman talk. Divorce that dog cause a dog will always be a dog. Oshisko
      @bee will get married if she is not already cause unlike you some men are not threatened by a strong independent woman.

    • Beeeee

      June 18, 2015 at 7:59 pm

      Can you imagine this human being? Wow!!!!!! There are people that still reason like this? This scares me. ??? Women have truly suffered.

    • natu

      June 18, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Was he loyal? Girl bye!!

    • Renix

      June 18, 2015 at 7:41 pm

      @Taipan, Oniranu, Ruuuutu abokoku. Tufiakwa, l never in this life time wish to Hv a friend, sista or family member like you. I do not hv respect for women like u. I suspect even if u suffer physical abuse, you will stay Becos of what people, faceless people who do not matter in d scheme of things will say. Don’t worry, ur day will com

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 8:16 pm

      ehenu…..she’ll stay because she’s the wife and she should be submissive. Nigerian women will never borrow sense

    • Beeeee

      June 18, 2015 at 7:57 pm

      Now what the heck does me being married have to do with anything? WTF are you even talking about pride. What is Toke doing that is prideful? People like you are the reason why women are going through all that they are going through. Quoting the BIBLE for the wrong reason. My friend please sit down somewhere. Are you implying that by me being a strong woman I would be single? There must be a few bolts missing from your head. When I talk about the strength of a woman , do you think I am talking about physical strength? This is what happens when Internet access is granted to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Please learn how to read and comprehend. And since you asked, a strong man is happily married to this strong woman.

    • nnenne

      June 18, 2015 at 10:57 pm

      @Beeeee… Amen !!!!

    • ShineShineShine

      June 19, 2015 at 11:13 am


    • Maki.

      June 19, 2015 at 11:45 am

      Abeg where did this one come from? tani eleyi jur?

    • mma

      June 19, 2015 at 11:43 pm


    • Morenike

      June 21, 2015 at 8:26 pm


  29. Mystique

    June 18, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    ok, i decoded one o……their wedding photo on the wall has been removed. so its real…..Maje must have moved out and Toke has the house to herself……….Toke, pls invite me over lets parteyyyy!!!! away with the traitor…lol

  30. ta lee

    June 18, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    public breakup!!! Lucky you

  31. Justme

    June 18, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    If only marriages last as long as our emotions *if* BN as for the wedding picture well………I guess she DONE with him.Toke Darling you can forgive him AND divorce him at the same time!

  32. Syon

    June 18, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Why do I feel like she knew it was coming before the news broke to the general public?

    • Xtophar

      June 19, 2015 at 9:58 am

      Probably because he allegedly confessed to the “crime” months before and they settled it in-house… She even went on to cook up a story around it on a Moments with Mo session a month before the story broke claiming her hubby has a stalker who claimed she was his baby mama, that the child is 6 years old (it appears the Calabar girl was 6mths preggers at about this time), blah blah blah. I don’t know her,

      Anyways, I will never take relationship advise from anyone who’s not seen the good, bad and ugly in over 20 years when it comes to relationships. People will dish whatever on social media just to stay relevant

  33. VeryAngryNigerian

    June 18, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    TOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEE……….are you a learner? packages dis ting “Chronicles of a betrayed Nigerian woman”, I will pay $10 to watch it , okay maybe $1, talk to that dude, what’s his name again….yes irokoTV, do a series and sell to them.
    On the real, we are all guilty of always blaming the woman. Even you Toke on one of your vlogs whether in jest or seriousness, you’ve blamed the woman. Almost by default when a relationship fails, people look at the woman first. It must have been something she did, heck guys these days even tell women, “you have to know how to keep me”, like women don’t want to be kept? I always tell ppl don’t judge anyone until you have been in their shoes. I know in retrospect you have realized that relationships are not always white and black, talk about different shades of gray, yellow and the in-betweens.
    It’s a crazy world, all sorts of craziness abound, but hey find happiness, I’m telling you find happiness. No man can/will be responsible for your happiness, contribute to it ? Yes, but not solely responsible. Forget the fallacy that Love is the be all end all, it makes the world a better place, but there’s a whole lot more to this life. That’s why you see ppl despite all the love in their life, they still end up taking their lives.
    Hunnay, the only mistake you made was loving the wrong one, but hey, Love hardly ever gives you the option of who to fall in love with. I’d like to see you move forward gracefully from this, if you can love the wrong one this much, imagine how beautiful it will be with the right one. Honestly you never know how heavy the load is, until you offload it and wonder, how the hell did I survive that???….Goodluck mama.

  34. Aries

    June 18, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    Aww! The photo on the wall is gone?

  35. Babym

    June 18, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Yaaaay, im so proud of this girl. Well done for staying above it and even turning an ugly situation positive. You just oliviapoped the matter! Respect! Now to all the donkeys who were chatting shit and gloating, blaming her and wanted to see her breakdown, can u see how she has disgraced u witches Buhahahahahahahahaha! Shame to bad ppl.

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 19, 2015 at 10:05 am

      Shame to aladem bad belles!!!

  36. fête

    June 18, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Sending e-hugs to you dear we’ve all been there unfortunately you’re still in the denial stage, ladies you know the f luv stage where you tell yourself I don’t need him to be happy, go out every night dance your sorrows away . Then when your friends leave you cry yourself to sleep. But like she said no one has ever died from a broken heart. This too shall pass.

  37. Personal Signature

    June 18, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    This generation’s marriage and life style makes me speechless

    Despite the fact the Saul was David’s number one enemy, who wanted to get rid of him at all cost, David still cried seeing Saul being killed like a foul.

    Somebody will separate from his/her acclaimed love or husband/wife and move on as if nothing happened. There are some who cant allow other people into their lives cos they cant get their ex off their mind, some are married and still remember the people they had in their lives, but for someone to just act/behave like nothing happened is way beyond imagination

    Was she never in love with the guy?
    Did she marry the guy to be a Mrs.?
    Did she marry the guy for other reasons or material things?
    Does she have a heart or there are super humans who don’t have the same heart we all possess?
    Are sum with a stony heart?

    We all need to have a rethink. I am sorry to say many of us are in a relationship/marriage with people who might have had other agenda but never loved us in the first place. Many of us may be in relationships/marriages, where both partners are in for different goals not cos of love, genuine friendship and companionship.

    @ Topic, people apportion blame to whoever is at fault, not just because you are a woman.

    • Naomi

      June 18, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      Oga, there is something called deal-breaker in marriage, what u can NEVER tolerate, and cheating might just be Toke’s deal-breaker.

    • Vera

      June 18, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      What nonsense!!!!!!!!!! She moved on like nothing happened? What would you rather have her do? Commit suicide to prove that she is heartbroken? I can’t with Nigerians. Full of bullshit. This girl has been called all sorts of names for sticking by this man. Then, it seems like she finally gets it and decides to move on after being humiliated, “she never loved him”. Get the fuck out of here!

    • itiswell

      June 18, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      My dear the thing is toke dated Maje for a very long time, during that period Maje constantly disrespected and cheated on her.

      Fortunately or unfortunately she has grown to expect or rather is now accustomed to the bullshit that even though it hurts, it would be difficult for her to cry. The only reason she might cry is bcos of the public.

      I believe she once loved him but that went out, so she settled and married him to be a ‘Mrs’, for the Ayida family name, to win over Anita and I guess also because Maje has friends and is part of a ‘Lagos big boy’ clique…

      if Maje was a poor dude, didn’t have ‘big boy’ friends and his family name was just there, truth be told toke would not have put up with any of the bullshit Maje has given her.

      One thing I am cool with though is that her career and new found status has really given her a confidence boost… which is why women it is good to have your own money

    • Madamsofo

      June 18, 2015 at 5:17 pm

      You just summed up her whole life with a 9 minute video. 9 minutes out of 24hrs, do yo u know what she did with the remaining 23hrs 51mins? She probably cried, reflected, consoled herself, and did a lot of other things to help her get over the situation. People are so gullible these days, Judgmental and Very quick to believe the worse. Funny how y’all love to piece people’s whole life together with pictures and short clips, make urselves judge and jury over another person’s life. Why must she grieve in public? Why is that so important to most of you? Why can’t she just put on a smile and look darn good like she is currently doing. y’all don’t care anyway, you really just don’t like to see other people happy. Other people’s misfortune and downfall make y’all happy and makes you feel ur own life is perfect. Well sorry to burst your bubbles, your life is not perfect! No one’s life is! We are all going through something, some worst than the other but a problem is still a problem. If you can’t empathize with her, then please let her just be happy. Her sadness won’t make ur life any better or worse. I am sure u won’t want the world to see you down and unhappy too. Toke is not being fake either! Different strokes for different folks, how u choose to live ur life is not how She wants to live hers. What works for you won’t work for toke and that’s just how life is. As per her vlog, that’s her opinion, she didn’t put gun on people’s head to watch the video nor follow the advise. It’s up to you to take it or leave it. Some of what she says makes sense. even though her advise didn’t work for her, it may work for someone out there. You can’t get upset when a doctor that treats cancer suddenly develops cancer. the president of Nigeria was taught by a teacher getting low income. He didn’t say he won’t listen to that teacher cuz the teacher is not a president and he aspires to be the future president. I believe Broken people give the best advise, because they have experience ( my opinion). We all need to have compassion for our fellow human. Love your neighbor as yourself. Sorry for the long note.

    • ShineShineShine

      June 19, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Hmn, ……u cannot get upset when a doctor treating cancer develops cancer…. That is deep. Thx Madamsofo

    • the bull

      June 18, 2015 at 5:42 pm

      Should she kill herself? Your comment sounds like you are blaming her for Maje’s inability to respect his marriage.

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 6:51 pm

      My fren will u keep kwayet!!!!!!

    • bbz

      June 18, 2015 at 7:14 pm

      shut up there! Are you in her bedroom or do you have a video recorder hidden under her bed?
      We know that if something similar happened to you, you would probably end up drinking poison or worst, so to show others that you are seriously grieving. but that does not mean others will follow your footstep.
      So please carry your analysis elsewhere. Biko!

  38. DAME

    June 18, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    Toke just won a fan damn….i was expecting her to deny pr act aloof…she hit the nail on the head…nobody is to blame for someone else’s mistake…a rape victim should not be blamed for rape, neither should a faithful wife be blamed for a philandering husband .Above all….happiness should be about you…in all you do make sure you are happy…happy through and true
    Toke please whatever decision you take…its first of all your life and only you would deal with the consequences…pls do you and be happy. Big love

  39. Dee

    June 18, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    @Guidelines…shes MTN, everywhere she goes abi? you sit down in one place there and don’t make good use of your life, so you think her husband cheated bcos she goes out abi? a man that wants to cheat will cheat even if you decide to stay at home all day and watch him, in the end it will be your loss bcos the man will still cheat and God forbid you don’t have any money to your name or something to do, do you know how hard this period would have been for Toke if she didn’t have anything doing? she’s a media personality, so she attends events, so what? you mean that gives her husband the right to cheat? and yes, in this part of the world, more often, women are blamed for almost everything, some women are even blamed for the death of their husbands, ridiculous,!!!so i understand what she means by women are blamed for almost everything, obviously you don’t… Toke, the Lord is your strength jare, keep your head up…

    • natu

      June 18, 2015 at 6:13 pm

      I just want to give you a high five right now. I am so tired of reading these silly comments. She is a radio personality ladies. It comes with the territory. Toke keep on working hard. Build you empire. We need more driven women like you in Africa because they are scarce. Keep doing you boo.

  40. Joan85

    June 18, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    This girl right here! I’ve always loved her, still do. She hasn’t always gotten it right, but neither have the rest of us. But I’m still a fan… 😀
    P.S. so na she get this house before? *sigh* I guess all the gist of Maje sailing on old-name-minus-the-old-money is true. smh

  41. Choice ray

    June 18, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Teamstrong# go girl , we have been thru it all but balling strong.

  42. Ifunanya

    June 18, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Toke is #stronggirl!!!!

  43. teekay

    June 18, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    even tho i am not a fan of toke but let me just say i think she should pray to God for direction because even if she is making a blog deep inside her she is still hurt.. no two marriages her the same yes maje cheated but that isnt the end of the world…as a christian even if the devil wants to destroy ur marriage pls exercise some patience and pray for direction..always remember if you dnt forgive GOD wont forgive you..may God help you

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      The man singlehandedly ruined his marriage. The devil is somewhere chilling minding his own business and you are calling him

    • Below average

      June 18, 2015 at 7:18 pm

      No too marriages “her” the same? Lmaoo. Please you people should focus on improving your lives before commenting on someone else’s

    • Ngobeke

      June 19, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      You wicked o!!! Lolllllll!! The ‘h’ factor even entered written english!!! Hahahahahaha!!

  44. aisha

    June 18, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    love you toke. pls visit people. thanks

  45. emmy

    June 18, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    Isn’t it too fast? Is this really strength? Marriage o nt just bf/gf relationship. Do not brood nd be so downcast but relax nd think through. Marriage is so special and sophisticated. Love is too. Was there even love btwn these two?

    • Kadara

      June 18, 2015 at 5:01 pm

      @emmy, do you really think she found out when it was on social media? I doubt that, the girl is almost 9months pregnant and since she was an ex of his and plenty drama someone would have told Toke since. She’s had time to grieve and she’s moving on

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Its `only in this part of the world that someone will spew such crap. If she’s the one that cheated wont these annoying men call for her to be stoned?? Mschew!

  46. emmy

    June 18, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    Sigh. M just annoyed. You’re not accountable to people. Stop all these! Live your life

  47. Asgrl

    June 18, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    Its amazing to me how people would like to dictate to you what is “appropriate” behavior when going through a loss or a big change in your life. Why isn’t the widow crying and rubbing ashes on her face? Why isn’t the raped woman in a comatose state? etc.

    Toke is doing what is best for Toke! To me doing well and moving on with your life is often the best remedy/revenge. It doesn’t mean you are not devastated, it just means your coping mechanism is doing what you know or love best.

    Some people get religious, some people get tattoos, some people withdraw from social life. For everyone its different.

    My “fiance” (we had already done introduction) of 7+ years all of a sudden just stopped talking to me months prior to when we were supposed to get married (Church was booked, pre-marital counseling booked, dress shopping done, vendors contacted etc.) . Didn’t pick up calls, didn’t respond to emails. Nothing! 12 Months+ later, Friends forward me notification that he’s engaged and getting married. He has a kid now. Apparently he and his current wife met during the time we were dating and started a relationship a year prior to him cutting off communications with me.

    Till today I have no clue why he broke things off and honestly I don’t care to know. It won’t change anything in my life (i.e. make the cut off seem more acceptable). My younger brother, God bless him, said to me ” Why call him and do what should be his job of breaking up with you. He’s a coward and you shouldn’t make it easy for him by calling and letting him see how he affected you”.

    I have never called him to ask, gone to his house or chased down his people. That relationship was based on a foundation of lies and he cheated. A LOT! We were probably still together because it was the “natural” next step. People who know what happened till today say “Wow you were not even fazed”.

    To a certain extent, I think my lack of reaction was due to maybe more of a feeling of relief that it was over (so I wouldn’t have to find out if the marriage would succeed) mixed with a little bit of sadness that I exposed my parents to that kind of embarrassment after they had told all their friends their daughter is getting married. I can never apologize to them enough for putting them through all that.

    After all that mess, I traveled, developed more interests, focused on my work and health.

    This is also why i don’t buy the argument that Maje was forced to marry. He could have abandoned her up to the moment of his vows if he wanted to. There was a benefit he was also getting from marrying her.

    After my experience, I know truly that marriage is not the end all be all. It shouldn’t be the sum total of your existence. It never was, but I felt the pressure of people saying “ahn ahn after how many years….”. When people pressure women close to or over 30, they always end up making horrible mistakes like my situation or toke’s situation in the choice of a life partner.

    Some people reading this may already know who I am, but its okay :). I share this to say, your life does not end because a man cheats on you or leaves you. If it is God’s will for me to get married, I will get married. Until then I’m surrounded by God, family, beautiful god children, friends who love me for me and I’m very satisfied and content.

    • Tuu

      June 18, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      Awww! It’s strong women like you Toke is reaching out to. I can’t even imagine what most women go through. It’s well sis, the man God has prepared for you is coming your way.

    • whocares

      June 18, 2015 at 5:21 pm

      *e-hugs*/ *hi-5/ you amazon!/ he will get his/ thank gods he left your life/ I honestly still don’t know who you truly are, and I do not care 🙂

    • Felinda

      June 18, 2015 at 7:12 pm

      Whao, Asgrl Your story has thought me a lesson even much more than Tokes Story
      “IN YOUR HEART HAVE YOU FORGIVEN THAT DUDE” be very honest with your answer. HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO FORGIVE, ASSUMING YOU HAVE TRULY FORGIVEN HIM, and sometimes i feel women verbally say “Oh I dont care, i have forgiven him but once you lay eyes on him all the anger will come back”. SO ANSWER ME “DID YOU TRULY IN YOUR HEART FORGIVE HIM AFTER ALL THAT.

      I am waiting for an answer.

    • kunu

      June 18, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      Do me a favour please…gerarahere

    • Asgrl

      June 18, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      Lol out of sight out of mind. And if he’s brought up in conversations, he doesn’t evoke any feelings of anger or spite. I’ve not seen him in five years and we don’t have any friends in common so I have no reason to think of him. I’ve never wished him Ill will in his life. Like I said I heard he’s married and has a child so he’s probably doing well in his life. If I ever ran into him, I’d probably smile politely and walk by. (For comedic relief I would hope I’m looking hot and not ragged sha!?)

      The thing I’ve learnt about holding on to anger in my life is you’re the one bent out of shape. The person you’re mad at is busy eating sweat potatoe and washing it down with Riesling. So who is really doing who?

      Not thinking of him in anyway except for bring it up in this context is forgiveness I would say.

    • ify

      June 19, 2015 at 5:19 am

      @Felinda, people like u are also part of the problem. ‘meddlesome interloper’ my mum calls them. Her forgiving him is none of any one’s business. So if she has truly forgiven, she’s good, if she hasn’t she’s bad. Chei! No wonder so many Nigerian graduates r unemployable;no content, no depth whatsoever. So anger equals un forgiveness. Are u God? Even God will let her go thru the healing process b4 asking that question that only He,has the right to!!

    • Egbami

      June 18, 2015 at 7:17 pm

      Aww,your ex-fiancee is a he-goat. May your strength waver not. This is why I am not into marraige and relationships cause you don’t know the oloriburuku that will come your way. Sorry for your heartbreak oh.

    • Lol

      June 19, 2015 at 9:51 am

      Eya, sorry boo…. Maybe just maybe… he met someone that spilled the tea about your past? **dodges slappss!* Good thing he did that instead of walking out while still married sha.
      As for Toke, i wont join this pity party jare!! It is a know fact that she was an aristos babe in her youth days in Unilag… bragged about trips abroad from sugar daddies… whose wives might have cried severally and laid curses on the babes. For those of you looking for Karma in Antarctica, look no further…… it has knocked on Tokes door. Strong woman my foot!!! Ordinary AOP, whose programs are laid out for her by the program director.. all she does is speak to the mike.and she is bragging about career… what will the likes of Gbemi, Olisa and co say about themselves. What you sow, Nna, you will reap o. And those saying she is smiling to the bank, abeg, ejo, is she smiling to the bank with a gun to rob them or how? Una funny no be small o. Popularity via scandals does not equal $$, if you don’t know! Please help me tell the likes of Okonjo, Chimamanda, Uche Pedro, the Prof mummy (who was our neighbour while growing up) Ekwelisi (hope i got that right), Hilary Clinton, my wife, my mom and a host of others that are doing great in their fields and not using drama to advance their career… that they are STRONG WOMEN!!! Oshi rada rada!!

    • Puhlease!!!

      June 19, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      What are you saying???? Please borrow some sense while on your rant! How about if the guy heard something about her past, he sits her down and has a conversation? How about he breaks up like a real man (instead of taking the coward’s way out) before beginning a new relationship. As for the rest of your rant, please find somewhere in a thunderstorm to park well! Silly little boys masquerading as men, always finding ways to blame women and ruin their reputations in situations where they know their counterparts have well and truly messed up.
      Mscheew! Yeye dey smell! In fact, hold on a minute while I go and be sick outside. Oshi o da!

    • Asgrl

      June 19, 2015 at 5:26 pm

      Lol my past? Funny comment. I was with him practically out of college with hardly any relationship experience prior to that. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t have any salacious history or baggage.

    • AsMyself

      June 19, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      And you, Asgrl, are my hero for the weekend. God bless and continue to beautify your life.

    • Kassy

      June 19, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      The most suprising thing is that women are mostly the ones throwin tantrum on her. They were jealous cos she was able to pick up her piece nd move on. As for d Anita girl…a man u dated for years didnt find u worthy of marrying u nd u ve d gut to open ur legs to d same man. Is dis how low women can go….dis is realy ridiculous

    • ola

      June 20, 2015 at 10:03 pm

      asgrl, Please can i get in touch with you? My best friend had the exact same experience, 7 years and all. She feels alone no matter what we tell her and I have told her she cant be the first or last to go through this experience. Maybe you could give her some advice. I cant stand to see her in depression anymore. Please let me know if you are willing to help, Thanks a lot.

    • ola

      June 20, 2015 at 10:06 pm

      @asgrl, Please can i get in touch with you? My best friend had the exact same experience, 7 years and all. She feels alone no matter what we tell her and I have told her she cant be the first or last to go through this experience. Maybe you could give her some advice. I cant stand to see her in depression anymore. Please let me know if you are willing to help, Thanks a lot.

  48. spicy chick

    June 18, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    I love u toke. I don’t believe all the media crap. stay strong.

  49. B

    June 18, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    @Personal signature, why not direct all these questions to her husband too? why just her? whether you accept it or not, sometimes people blame the woman gender more, especially in this part of the world, a woman is seen as that person that is expected to sit in the house, not empowered in any way and accept any rubbish thrown to her by her husband simply because she’s a woman or a wife??? does she have a heart? jamb question, ehnehn she doesnt

  50. benny

    June 18, 2015 at 4:36 pm


  51. Anonymous

    June 18, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    Hey Everyone!! Welcome to another episode of Toke Moments. My name is Toke Ayida.

  52. zelda

    June 18, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    My own with her is y she is actin like she is nt heartbroken or affected by all these,even if u dnt like ur husband n he does dis it wil hurt,she shld jst be real n admit she is heartbroken,its ok to be no matter how hard n strong u claim..

    • Mzlyrics

      June 18, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      And by admitting she is heartbroken, does that make you happier? I honestly don’t understand this ‘Toke must grieve’ movement! Isn’t it obvious she is not as bubbly as she used to be? Didn’t you notice she was not as calm and collected as she used to be? Didn’t you get the hints she dropped about what went down? Biko face your work! Believe it or not, Toke is showing tremendous strength and may just be inspiring someone else who thinks her life has ended because her husband who took vows to love her forever stepped out on her. Please let her be!

    • Tuu

      June 18, 2015 at 6:03 pm

      You should learn to look beyond a person’s smile, it is so obvious that she’s hurting except you arent caring enough to see that, You could tell she was fighting back tears, if she had cried people would still call her an attention whore, please let people grieve the way they want. He who wears the crown, knows where it pinches.

    • tish

      June 18, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      Where did she ever say she is unaffected? You’ll be satisfied if she had come out with bloodshot eyes and runny nose, right? Sorry she is rising above her pain. Being real is dealing with your situation the best way you can.

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      So you want her to wear rags and pull her hair and be crying on the street??

    • nnenne

      June 19, 2015 at 12:10 am

      @ Zelda…Toke said her aim was not to talk about herself because she never did. She was reaching out to fans who sent her emails.
      You get it?

    • Babylicious

      June 19, 2015 at 7:15 pm

      So even if she is heart broken what should she now do? ? Do a vlog of herself hopdingbher husband’s feet n crying? ?all these Evil pple dt would av loved2see her on d ground, now that she’s acting strong they r crying foul-play! ! Witchery n wizardry

  53. MsWifey

    June 18, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    Thank you Toke for your strength, you inspire every woman out there going through a tough relationship. I pray that one day, women can become each other’s biggest source of support, until then, thank you for being strong

  54. Moyo

    June 18, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    Is she foreclosing any reconciliation

  55. zelda

    June 18, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    she is actin like its ok,its ok, its a lie,it hurts alot, take time out n heal,all this papapa wil nt help,i hope she wont break down

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 19, 2015 at 10:13 am

      You need help for the ugliness inside your soul….Why do you want her to look horrible? what will you gain from seeing her break down? Are you a witch? Cause only witches like seeing people in despair…


    June 18, 2015 at 4:39 pm


  57. TISH

    June 18, 2015 at 4:43 pm


  58. Luv

    June 18, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    So a strong woman makes no mistake, walks down the wrong road, makes the wrong choices ehn…. oya continue!

    Even if she knew about the side chics and fought other women to get him.
    Can we live in the present, learn and move on!
    Let SHE who has never been a fool for a man throw the first stone

    Toke keep looking ahead. PAST IS THE PAST WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT”S AHEAD
    *KISSESS* Honestly darling, be honest with your self, the good, the bad and the ugly and undeniably better things ahead with GOD by your side

  59. lizzy

    June 18, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    How on earth did people make us believe the dude was living off her ? I just discovered that Maje is the son of the accomplished civil servant ,multi billionaire SGF under Babangida and the chairman of the popular Ayida commission for civil service reforms, the Maje himself used to be a banker in the UK for over ten years and i understand he lives or he has a property in banana Island……Many things are clearer to me now i guess. Toke you just lost a fan, simple reason I ll rather choose a WISE woman over a “STRONG” woman…..

    • Dee

      June 18, 2015 at 5:16 pm

      And the award for the most pointless statement of this season goes to you.

      Is lizzy short for lizard biko nu?

    • Chynwa

      June 18, 2015 at 5:35 pm

      What’s your definition of wisdom? staying with the cheating guy… mbok? Personally don’t think she should have married him in the first place *gbam!

    • Someone Naughty

      June 18, 2015 at 5:40 pm

      So in this situation, please what would a ‘WISE’ woman do?
      P.s: I hope you’re not one of those people that live in the delusion that: father’s money=my money.

    • adeanon

      June 18, 2015 at 5:42 pm

      you must be deluded- maje doesnt even own a bunch of bananas! banana island kwa?

    • VeryAngryNigerian

      June 18, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      *dead*@bunch of bananas…he has one though, the one that put him in trouble. I can’t with some of the folks on BN. Golddigger alert, nonsense talking about being WISE, una never jam stingy rich man, you eyes go see wen…..idjit!!!

    • FasholasLover

      June 18, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Don’t mind dat delusional person. Banana ko, oranges nii. Bros Maje gats nada.

    • Beeeee

      June 18, 2015 at 6:52 pm


    • Thatgidigirl

      June 18, 2015 at 7:26 pm

      LWKMD! Una get mouth sha

    • DEE

      June 18, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thank you for making me laugh……

    • beehehee

      June 18, 2015 at 9:57 pm


    • the bull

      June 18, 2015 at 5:43 pm

      Let me guess your definition of wise woman fr your comment means take BS from a man because his is from a rich family

    • Nuna

      June 18, 2015 at 6:59 pm

      Darris ehh……I dont even understand her logic. smh

    • Felinda

      June 18, 2015 at 7:17 pm

      Lizzy And that is why it did not work out
      Because Maje was perceived as a scrub and bum living off of Toke
      Toke was the limelight, and UNIVERSALLY this ish does not work. IT did not work for Lady Diana, IT did not work for Halle Berry, I bet you it aint working for Beyonce and Jay fcking someone on the side now as we speak. When that happens it hurts a mans ego, he feels less than a man and will cheat with someone of less status than you . THIS IS A UNIVERSAL FACT, AND THAT I KNOW. Its not even an african man thing, Its is something that happen with every man. You make more money, you have more public shine. Honey they fkcing somone else behind your back, whether you want to believe it or not.

    • Hugo

      June 18, 2015 at 8:56 pm

      Words of Life!

    • Audrey

      June 20, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      This is sad. So women should not do well? How is it a woman’s fault if she’s more successful? This marriage thing eh, its not easy.God give us wisdom

    • Babylicious

      June 19, 2015 at 7:21 pm

      See dis one ooo! ! Pple like to feel overly important oo….did she notice u wen u became her fan? Aw wld she now notice u wen u carrybu wahala n waka? ? These children never sieze2amuse me….

  60. Free

    June 18, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    Toke I believe you are going through a lot and I admire your courage in making a vlog at this time. You are right in stating a lot of women have gone through heartbreaks and done a number of things all in the name of love. Please continue to stay strong and make whatever decision you feel is right for you alone.

  61. Blessed Abi

    June 18, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    Wish u all the best Toke, similar experience but thank God we didn’t get married, we dated 12 years, he had a side chick for like 7 years(they are still together) plus plenty others, the thin is people hardly change, the only real change I know comes from from Jesus, got married recently to the most amazing man I know, if u are in a similar situation, pls do not settle!!!

  62. Ada Ada

    June 18, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Nna mhen, dis babe is a Warrior!

  63. jide

    June 18, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    Let’s understand the difference between strong woman and a dumb/desperate woman.

    Strong Woman – handing a cheating low life scum of the earth his walking papers despite the fact that you are about to turn 35 and people will shame you for being unmarried at that age.

    Dumb/desperate woman – turning a blind eye to a cheating low life scum of the earth, all because you are trying to marry by fire by force before a certain age.

    It takes more courage and strength to be of marriage age yet choose to remain single with dignity until you meet the man who dare not humiliate you by cheating but getting a chic knocked up

  64. Chynwa

    June 18, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    Deed is done. Move on girl but ehn… u for no kuku marry ds guy in the first place. guess she was scared of losing 12years of her life.

  65. Zandyzay

    June 18, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    I scrolled doown looking for Bruno….. Bruno where art thou???!!!! #screaming!!!!!

  66. VeryAngryNigerian

    June 18, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Woske, Toke, your colleague “Karuishi” in America is rumored to have found another man….you would be surprised. You better go find yourself fresh meat and dump that bush meat of a guy you call horzeband.

  67. MissionAccomplished

    June 18, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    and comments too.
    WELL DONE TOKE, YOU ARE SMART, the rest are dummies

    • nil

      June 18, 2015 at 7:26 pm

      biko, take several seats \___

  68. sisiYemi

    June 18, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Toke dear, it is well. This too shall pass…

  69. Flow

    June 18, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Na wa ooo!!!judge and judges!!!you guys should hear from both sides before you conclude, just Becos she gives advice on marriage and relationships doesn’t mean she puts hundred percent of it in practice.
    There’s is always a reason why maje did this and am not saying he did a good thing.
    The did has already bin done,Maje is not a saint and he is human,it could happen to anyone and no one is above mistakes
    Toke!!pls divorce is not an option,in the sight of God it is wrong,I know how you hurt, but he is still your husband, keep on loving him and keep your home and you will be respected more for that,don’t let another woman come into your home to steal and to destroy wat you have built just Becos she has a child for your hubby,trust me she is not worth it!!!forgiveness is what matters in a marriage but it is not easy at all, don’t do anything that would send you to hell,don’t listen to supporters club hailing you,let God take the wheel he alone is your comforter.

    • Asgrl

      June 18, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      Divorce is not an option? I thought the bible said in cAses of adultery it is? Is STD/STI an option.

    • My Own

      June 18, 2015 at 10:51 pm

      Actually it is oh, you can divorce if someone cheats on you. Read the book of Matthew.

    • NaijaPikin

      June 18, 2015 at 11:01 pm

      Why is divorce not an option?

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 18, 2015 at 11:35 pm

      How do you know God was involved in their foundation to start with!
      I just think if the foundation is wrong. Everything will not work.
      Heck! It is hard when the foundation is right how much more when it isn’t.
      When you know the truth and live in denial. As most of us including alot of celebrities but some are happy to take it.

      We saw this, I saw this. Heck, I didn’t even know her but all the situation spoke NO-NO and I would never understand why she said YES to him. 12 years is not a freaking joke. 1 year isn’t how much more 12years. T.W.E.L.VE Y.E.A.R.S kia….
      We have intuition and we all know what to do with it.

      Done commenting now.
      All the best Toke. Just use wisdom. x

  70. Tari

    June 18, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    What’s this Ayida family name everyone goes on about?
    If this family name was all that as often insuinated, this old lad would have had a decent 9 to 5 not this silly pointless fitness enthusiast/entrepreneur crap.

  71. Ellajonnez

    June 18, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    Hmmm….. Na Waoooo.. anyway it was cool

  72. bisqo

    June 18, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    Toke, you are brave and strong! I wish you all the best. This too is a season and it shall definitely come to pass. Continue to stay strong, live your life to the fullest and pray for God’s guidance. You just gained a fan in me today… sending you e-hugs…

  73. Blah Blah

    June 18, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    Madam Toks the preacher, Pls tell us how old you are for real not your football age, want to marry loaded British Boy by force by fire , Fyi for all those that didn’t no, Maje is from a loaded Family, Madam gat her eyes on the prize, she saw the hand written on the wall but shook her head dere, Strong Woman my Foot, He went back to his Ex not a Random girl, Madam needs to come out wit the full story if not leave the matter alone, Edo girls are witches right!!!!!! Enjoy

  74. Tosin

    June 18, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    i don’t talk to people who use the word cheat for shagging. lame. it would have been more fun if you gave us more gist 🙂 9 1/2 mins of “leaving in denial” (live is pronounced shorter) , almost over.

    so there’s really a baby on the way? awww.

  75. Deedara

    June 18, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    I could see the pain in her face and I admire her for continuing with her show. I think the most important thing she said was at the end about forgiveness for your own sake and not for the sake of the person who wronged you. Whatever happens with her marriage, she will be just fine. Well done Toke, keep keeping on and God will continue to see you through.

  76. Dirty O

    June 18, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    Ofcourse she has to keep her head up in the public eye… but when she’s home, emotions start crawling, she’s HUMAN too. Stop with the justification… geez!

  77. Arin

    June 18, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    The only thing I blame you for is marrying him. Women know better, we have that instinct “this person isn’t good for me” most times it takes the very strong not to ignore that instinct. We should learn to love who we are and accept or reject anyone who isn’t worth it. Never settle for less. P.s all you should leave BN alone biko she is trying to make her money just like Toke is. Keep your disappointments to yourself.

  78. Munwa

    June 18, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    Toke Toke, this vlog I like very much. Well spoken. God is your peace.

  79. Sunshine

    June 18, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    Bravo and girl power to you Toke. In as much as it hurts and is embarassing, you needed to do that Vlog .This will send a message to #douchebag that you will not be broken. Dont dare give him the power over you by looking dejected, but come out swinging by looking stunning.. EFFF HIM and Divorce his squatter leach a$$.

    • Tolani

      June 19, 2015 at 2:08 pm

      You assume the d-bag cares about Toke. Lmao. The d-bag is with he person he cares about. Maje be like “toke, her vlogs and her fans can kick rocks “

  80. Precinder

    June 18, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    Everyone has an opinion as if they have bn waiting for the marriage to fall apart! She most def will be fine.

  81. Colorful Star

    June 19, 2015 at 12:03 am

    See as pple are just speaking as though they know it all about this babe? Abeg na your life? Toke darling do you! Be happy if for nothing for the fact that you are still alive. You are an adult and you owe no one an apology or an explanation for how you live your life!

    Peace, love and bear hugs to you 🙂

  82. Majewa

    June 19, 2015 at 12:59 am

    Toke….u r ma role model….u strong, real n level headed. May God see u thru. No situation is permanent. We all make mistakes bt ma lil advice to u is to luv with all ur heart but plse make sure u carry ur head along. Luv u die

  83. UvorovU

    June 19, 2015 at 2:21 am

    Actually, it is medically possible to die of a “broken heart . ” look it up.. It’s called Takutsubo cardiomyopathy. Crazy stuff

  84. poto poto naija

    June 19, 2015 at 6:23 am

    toke my advice is: go out there look for a handsome guy get pregnant and tell maje he is the father we tired for man dem wettin self that will be his punishment fine babe like toke ugly maje dey usam play, girl dont take that nonses TEAM TOKE TILL THE END!!

  85. step77

    June 19, 2015 at 6:39 am

    Toke is humming Michael Jackson’s song’s chorus ‘keep on with the force don’t stop, don’t stop till you get enough” all to her self and smiling with bitter sweet anticipation of how she will eventually ca$h out from this media buzz. Again Toke is a Social Media Monster *bow down*!

  86. Toby

    June 19, 2015 at 7:33 am

    I think it’s very naive of people to expect that Toke shouldn’t be judged on social Media. She invited scrutiny with her lifestyle. When the going was good, she was always posting on twitter,Instagram and Facebook. She wanted everyone to know how successful and happy she was, now hard times have come and I hear some people here demand for privacy. Why didn’t you guys tell her to be private during her lovely moments? Anyway I feel sad for her because all these strong woman ish is a total farce and a front to make her cope in public. Deep down she’s hurt and she just needs some alone time for introspection. As for blame, am sure there’s plenty to go around both parties involved. I think she should give her husband a second chance if he’s remorseful and willing to change

  87. bunmi

    June 19, 2015 at 8:47 am

    Abeg make we leave matter for Matthias, we ladies know when we are with the wrong person, most just ignore because of their hidden intention.

  88. Mrs . A

    June 19, 2015 at 9:24 am

    Please Toke should take several back seats jorrrrr, She is just so fake; fake life, fake accent, fake marriage, fake looks, fake age , fake strong woman *arrgh*# enough of her yapping# Please # I wonder if she has got any good friends or family members who can properly advise her to just shut the hell up and move on with her life, washing your dirty linen outside does not make you a strong woman, just move on with your life and the message would have been passed that you are actually a strong woman.

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 19, 2015 at 10:23 am

      Why are you so pained? Your life must be very miserable…Epele oh..

    • Maki.

      June 19, 2015 at 11:38 am

      please who are you to open ur mouth “wham-wham” like oshodi mosquito? Mbok respect ya sef!!! People should stop judging this lady because whether she knew about it or not, what would she have done? All these yeye girls attacking her, it seems y’all are still single? Don’t worry. when you get married, u’ll come to understand that the next male generation after ur fathers, are filled with lazy ass, gold digging, cheating mo-fo’s who pose as men of valour and integrity.

      Toke if you ever get to read this, i admire your strength and courage and i pray the good lord gives you more strength to carry on, a heart of forgiveness, and more beauty and grace, In Jesus Name, Amen.

      shine on giirrrl!

    • Ra

      June 19, 2015 at 4:12 pm

      I’m sorry but Toke will not read this. Aww…

    • Tolani

      June 19, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      She is a circus, even her adopted sister said she is strong headed and loves to be told only what she wants to hear. Even they didn’t know about the surprise wedding until it happened. Lol. She is in denial and I hope this isn’t a cloak to mask deep depression she is battling within. This girl is in denial about needing help

  89. wagamama

    June 19, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Who are all this idiotic people ooooooo!

    Why the F does toke need time off?


    Una think say the news just break for toke ear?

    Na so una dense reach?

    So she must take five years off to go and cry that her husband is a dog abi? NA she give the man “wondering prick”?



    You gass cry in their face, unless they deem you FAKE! NOT in your private time oo! and not in the confines of your house/bedroom!


    Toke biko FIRE ON!


  90. Maki.

    June 19, 2015 at 11:42 am

    ekpele o! awon alasheju! please o, soo it’s now wrong for us to post pictures of our wonderful moments when we feel like? Even if it’s a farce, do you expect her to look like crap? she’s an african woman! we are known for strength. unless u aren’t an African, i dont expect to see your comment here.

  91. #strongwomanmyfoot

    June 19, 2015 at 11:59 am

    “So she has been doing aristo in Unilag, cheating with other womens husbands and leaving the wives to weep their eyes off at home, now Karma is here, and you call her a strong woman”…im worried for the kind of women we have around. strong woman , my foot. If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do, you marry a man when you are clearly aware that hes still in a relationship with his ex, he stood you up at your court wedding, you had to fight over him with another woman, he made you have a surprise wedding…and now he cheats on you and then you have suddenly become a strong woman….how lame. Lets not justify what is glaring wrong abeg. Now I know why marriages are failing, people are married for all the wrong reasons, they marry a man who has a side chic even when they are dating and then expect him to become a saint all of a suuden and not cheat on them. How stupid!. If you are a strong woman and you value yourself, you wouldn’t even marry that knid of a man in the first place. You deserved more, but you still chook your head inside for the wrong reasons. p. s- for every woman doing aristo now, trust me if you don’t stop and repent, karma will come, what you sew you will reap, one day another woman will make you cry in ur matrimonial home

  92. Blah Blah

    June 19, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    When she was sleeping wit other pples husbands, making other women cry in their homes! Wot goes around comes around, I now understand the fake british/american accent, planning to be british hahaahaa!

  93. vivy

    June 19, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    She slept with ur husband i guess. Thats y u must knw all disss

  94. Bola Ayo-Vaughn

    June 19, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    Firstly, we should give Toke a pat on the back for finding the inner courage and the time to do a Vlog. It doesn’t escape me she’s, undoubtedly, a mentally strong woman. Secondly, Toke touched on a subject that’s very close to home. More often than not, a woman is blamed for the failures in her marriage and further vilified If her commits adultery and in many cases when same man metes out violence at her. Our society is a sick one, our culture skewed in sexist ideologies that continues to debilitate a woman’s standing in society. How it can be plausibly acceptable that Toke is being blamed, in some quarters tacitly so, for her husband’s indiscretions. Would it have been the same if Toke was impregnated by another man – would will still scoff, huff and blame the Poor old husband for his wife’s indiscretions. It goes without saying that there had always been a third wheel so to speak in the union. Toke must have been aware but like most women we are easily convinced by our men that “our” position is secured and by some force of magic “we women” believe that we can prise our men’s straying eyes and keep it fixed on ourselves but with the same token “we” are also partly to blame as we deliberately condone our “men’s” infidelity. My take is such that there must be a cultural change. A change that can only be effected by women not accepting to be treated like doormats, standing up to be respected and never cheated upon, and we we discover we’ve been lied to, cheated on we call off the relationship. And we must never be pressured into getting married by family, friends, society etc. When I look around at the pool of young men in Nigeria today I shudder at the pain that awaits many of us. Too many of our men are completely devoid of morals just as many young women are exhibiting same traits too. I am for women who have a deep sense of self, sense of self worth and by so doing demand such standards from their menfolk. We all know that there’s a seismic moral decline in Nigeria and as this trend continues I fear for the future. So, my candid advise to Ms Toke, it is one thing to act or try to be strong, it is completely another to actually be strong. Trying to be is shying away from the truth but to be strong and if you demand a certain high standards you will walkout of your marriage. Always remember your Husband couldn’t have possibly got this girl pregnant by mistake and does it occur to you that your husband’s cock a has been sliding in and out, willynilly, out of this lady’s glory hole before and during your marriage. This is your time to stand up for yourself and the countless women in Nigeria in “gutter relationships, marriages”. Stay Blessed and pray God gives you the strength and like many other suffering women out there the ability to rise above this and make the best decision for yourself that will help guarantee your overall happiness and wellbeing.

  95. Blah Blah

    June 19, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    @ vivy supporter help her out, mschewww

  96. Hado

    June 19, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    It’s funny how when a man cheats, the news never stops ringing on for months
    but when a woman does, she would always justify it with some excuse such as:
    – I wasn’t happy anymore
    – He doesn’t give me attention, apparently the new guy does because he’s mostly job less or on part-time, and your husband is out there busting his ass to earn some more

    There’s always an excuse

    Statistics obviously shows that men carries majority of the percentage that cheats

    But I try not to be bias in my judgement
    Sometimes why not ask why did he cheat, not trying to justify “cheating”
    Some ladies can nag their husband to cheating, which would most likely end up in cheating with some chic who has less issues

    Guys cheat OKay

    But all you ladies now are looking for a ready-made guy, and you expect him not to cheat on your ass…… pleaseeee

    My point: Don’t judge, because you don’t know what goes on behind close doors

  97. jexme

    June 20, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    Dear did it ever occupy to u, that not everione who reads ir comments on The site are nigerians. stop wif this “smh for nigerians”

  98. PrettyLolo

    June 20, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    can we add EVERLASTING BASTARD to that @purpuliciousbabe . The fact that you took all that time writing such gibberish, indicates that you have too much time on your hands_ hence loitering around your nonsense opinion on women matters. That said, to even try and categorize yourself amongst “the men” you have listed has failed! So when REAL men who know the value of treating their women right are talking,this she goat will also speak? Goes to show the type of unfortunate home you were brought up in. You are a disgrace to the woman who gave birth to you & the daughter you will have.

  99. Crazee-Shit-Out-There

    June 21, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    Sometimes it is easy for outsiders looking inside to pontificate, and rightly so have differing opinions, when giving their “honest observations” on matters where their understanding is quite limited, and especially where the “unseen machinations” are unknown. My point is simple – over 80% of comments here vilifies her husband for such “unforgivable misdeed”, rightly so – but it appears either by sheer collective failure to think a little deeper that there may be more to this mess than meets the eyes or perhaps so, an irate, over-exuberant “commentators” whose love for Toke biases their views. I for one will attempt to give a more telling opinion based on my acquaintances with these couple. It goes without saying that I have known these couple for a good part of 14yrs and I can safely say they are both good human beings but with their inherent character flaws like anyone else. However, I can’t shy away from the fact that this relationship had its drawback from the start – it was a sort of relationship that i call a “love triangle” – Toke had always been aware of this “third person” and had tacitly supported it by either continuing being girlfriend to Maje or breaking it off and returning with the reason for breaking up in the first place still bubbling underneath. I believe Maje’s love for the “third person” is undeniably stronger hence, his willingness to get her pregnant and send her off to London to quietly and safely deliver “their” baby. At the core of this lies a fundamental flaw in Toke’s character and I believe this quietly eats away at Maje’s core – the fact that Toke, during her days in Unilag and rightly after, had a handful of sugar-daddies. As many would know – it’s no secret – she “codedly” dated married men – she was an Uber Aristo chic – and like many of her Unilag friends too. They were supposedly big girls living it, creating some sort of smokescreen of coming from well-heeled families, whereas, these girls were having their heads buried down the cocks of these men in exchange for money and lifestyle, and some of these chaps old enough to be their fathers. So with that kind of imagery imprinted in your mind’s eyes any man will struggle to be seen with let alone married to one. Needless to say, one cannot keep wielding the axe of blame on Toke for misdeeds done when she was younger but with the same token some girls also chose not to sell their bodies for financial gratifications. There is something “K-leggy” the moment a woman’s morals are tarnished. Even in hindsight, if she feels ashamed and angry about her past, especially where she had bedded married men for financial & positional gains, it is a difficult one to absolve your integrity from as it takes a great deal of greediness and total lack of respect for oneself and a complete lack of scruples to stoop that low. So naturally, it is expected that any man will struggle, if he is aware of such misadventures. Having said that there are also the obvious signs that Maje was probably coerced into marrying Toke. His love is stronger for the other woman as she is “more complete” without the “moral baggage” hanging over her. He finds her amenable, easier and gentler. By no means am I condoning Mr. Maje’s disgusting behaviour but we cannot just pretend that a lot must have been at play for a man, who is in the public eye so as his wife, to take such step as to impregnating another woman outside his marriage. So as much as I struggle to lay absolute blame on Mr Maje one cannot help but be more objective and consider other factors that may have led him so. I feel sorry for Toke, I really do but this should be a lesson to younger women coming up – what we do in our past do tend to sneak up behind our backs and bite us silly. It cannot just be okay that in our society today we turn a blind eye to pubescent girls or teenage girls sleeping with married men. It cannot be right that as deeply religious our society postures itself to be these heinous deeds are perpetuated in broad daylight without people raising an eyebrow. I feel our generation is doomed – men and women alike exhibit high levels of immorality. Today society forces upon us marriages without the true and honest commitments it deserves. Now we marry for show and fanfare whilst both couples will either secretly or openly conduct extra-marital affairs. The blame game swings both ways – a qualitative man must seek a partner with the same kind of standards and vice versa but today it isn’t necessarily the case. Some men are aware that the women they are married to will most probably cheat on them (be it with an ex-boyfriend or new guy at the office or elsewhere) and the women also knows that when husband goes out to hang out with the boys he most certainly gonna be burying his shaft down the hole(s) of another woman. So before we throw Mr Maje under the bus we should first all re-examine ourselves. Some of us our laundry is so putrid that if it were made into a Nollywood movie we would feel the story being overstretched. Ever noticed, in most cases, that we tend get what we deserve – you don’t always have to get paid in your own coin but similar. This marriage is already doomed – trust: the sacred thing that underpins a marriage is broken, and when broken it is dead and never to be found again. If she remains in this marriage, which I think it will take something extraordinary on her part, she will perpetually be hunted by the “third person”. This “third person” will be that overarching figure that looms over everything. So either way this is a disgraceful marriage flawed from the start. Best of luck Toke and Maje – what will be will most certainly be. Godspeed!

    • Tope Latinwo

      June 22, 2015 at 4:33 am

      @crazee-shit-out-there: Wow! You just nailed it there! My thoughts! The husband is an ass though but the wife a bigger ass! She’s no angel, maybe a reformed one at best, but when she’s peppered by aristos in the past it’s a hard one not to be treated like a doormat! All that strong woman sh*t she’s displaying n’a lie! My own is if a young girl can sleep with a married men it is very unsavoury! Makes me wonder why she married her in the first place, and for the man – he is a goat! He must be spineless, no guts, no convictions to marry a “bent flower” then go on to impregnate another woman! The guy is just as bad! They need to go their seperate ways! She shld reform herself and go out to seek man that will love her honestly and the husband a return to his ex-girl! But this is dirty through and through!

  100. Nene

    June 22, 2015 at 3:30 am

    It is well with you Toke. God will give you double for your trouble in Jesus’ Name. Refuse to let the enemy steal your joy. Keep on shining!?❤️

  101. Tyaharin

    June 22, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    @ crazee-shit-out-there I would like to know if Toke put a gun to Maje’s head for him to marry her. If he loved Anita more, why the heck didn’t he just marry her! Obviously Toke was good for something and thats why Maje married her. In my experience, a man marries who he wants to marry. If he knew that Anita was the one for him he should have stood up for her and made an honest woman out of her. Everyone is saying that Toke was into the Aristo life therefore it serves her right. Anita nko? No be another woman’s husband she carry belle for? I’m guessing by the time Maje cheats on her (and trust me he will) we will all be back here blaming Anita for stealing another woman’s husband.
    Toke dear, take heart. Life goes on. Pick up the pieces and move on. Anita I pray that Maje remains faithful to you and that you guys have a happy life. I wish you a safe delivery. Maje AIDS IS REAL

  102. Joke Dasaolu

    June 23, 2015 at 11:41 am

    @ crazee-shit-out-there..Jeez, that’s one hell of a write-up but I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I live out here in Canada – born and raised – but fed with a daily dose of Nigerian-isms by my adorable parents. I love Nigeria, its people, culture & food and plan on returning after Med Sch. As a young woman I find Toke’s vlogs informative and somewhat comical. Since i do not know her personally I can only judge by how she comes across in her vlogs – she seem a positively happy woman, comfortable in her own skin with that flash of infectious ambitiousness. So as to her past misdeeds I for one cannot be too overly antagonistic of someone’s past, especially when such a person is making strident steps towards becoming a better person, which is self-evident in how Toke comes across. We are all maligned in one way or another, made small and big mistakes, we are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said “By seeking and blundering we learn,” and I believe she is still learning. So please don’t attempt to give reason, deeply warped, to her husband’s unforgivable bad behaviour(s). Toke if you get to read this – My heart goes out to you, your past is your past, what’s important is to be a better version of who you were yesterday, life’s a journey, failure is instructive,the person who really thinks learns quite as much from his/her failures as from his/her successes. Stay strong and always remember “even in the midst of the storm the sun is still shining.”

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