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Chiugo Akaolisa: Always “Busy”



I absolute run away from social messaging platforms because I feel like they are an endless time warp. In fact, I get hiccups every time I see a new message. However, for my partner, I make the time to reply all messages in record time because he is at the top of my priority list. For all others, I’d rather call and end the torture so I can get back to my “busy” life.

If I am being completely honest, nobody is ever that busy; it is just a matter of priorities.  A person can find an hour to keep up with their favorite shows or soccer clubs but will fail to return a call or a message.

Why? Because that call or message is not that important at that moment.

I once dated a guy who had the mother of all hectic schedules. If he wasn’t at work, he was bringing it home with him. If he wasn’t working at home, his family or friends were needing him for something. I was always waiting to be contacted. I had a very demanding job back then but I appeared clingy trying to get attention. At a point, our relationship was reduced to only calls and messages. When I was absolutely positive I was dating myself, I exited the situation.

I couldn’t help but smile when my friend called me to complain bitterly about his girlfriend always being busy. It sounded all too familiar. I don’t interfere in relationships but I gave him my own experience as a guide.

I’m not disputing the fact that people cannot lead extremely busy lifestyles trying to make something of themselves, but using it as an excuse for always being emotionally and physically distant in a relationship is very misleading.

Everyone one in a relationship should be valued in their own right. Each party deserves love, trust, respect as well as a fair amount of attention. I mean, how can a relationship flourish with ample commitment and intimacy, if one party is always pleading off with the “this weekend is very busy for me” line?

For your information, if you haven’t seen your partner in four weekends and you live in the same city, you need to be very concerned. Behind every excuse is the real reason and the real reason is that he/she doesn’t want to make the effort or worse, someone/something else has replaced your attention slot. If your partner is okay with consistently disappointing you, that should give you an inkling into his/her priority list.

Deep down, everyone wants to find “The One”; that person that they are willing to share the world with – that special person will have all the time and attention needed because they are/will be held in high regard. For the others, the polite way to let them off is to gradually reduce the amount of time and effort made to sustain the relationship. If you notice that the time with your partner gets shorter each day, it’s time to rethink your commitment

If a person genuinely cares about you, he/she will carve out time for you in their schedule even if the person is running a multinational, million Dollar Company in space. He/she will take out time not only for the calls and messages but also for couple activities in public places.

Nobody is too busy for the person he/she truly loves.

Besides, if you have given your heart to someone and you draw strength from him/her, you will always want to check-in and meet up to recharge.

“No matter how “busy” a person is, if they really care, they will always find time for you”—Unknown


Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Ian Allenden

Chiugo Veronica Akaolisa is a graduate from the University of Alberta, Canada. She is a God-lover and a recluse. Her every spare time is spent writing and developing her business. She is an entrepreneur and a budding novelist. Her true passion is Poetry and Relationship Tips. She has a minor in Psychology. Twitter: Verachi | Facebook: | Instagram: missverachi |


  1. vien

    July 15, 2015 at 8:39 pm


  2. bruno FIERCE

    July 15, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    I hate people who say I’m busy, im busy.

    excuse me, are u solving the conflict between isreal and iraq? are u bringing world peace to the middle east? biko save that talk. nobody can be that busy to reply a whatsapp message.

    incase u dont know, everybody is busy just like u. u can not take 3 or 4 seconds to reply a whatsapp message.

    if ur that busy why not tell the person ur busy and later u will talk instead of allowing the person to be waiting on u, are u the queen of England that I will be waiting on ur message. its called manners and respect for people’s time.

    nigerians dont have manners and etiquette when they are cahtting with people.

    pls if u don’t want to chat with me can u kindly say it instead of wasting my damn time.

    the second kind of people I hate are people who take 100 years to reply a message and people who text slow.

    JESUS CHRIST WHO DIED ON THE CROSS OF CALVARY!!!!!! this kind of people are worse than the devil. u start to wonder if u phone is spoilt or something. u start to wonder of the message u sent was delivered.

    its not as if the internet comnection is bad, its not as if they didn’t see the messages, its not as if their phones are not with them, they are with their phones, but they will take like 20 or 30 minutes to respond because they don’t want to look desperate or thirsty. nigerians are fake I swear to god. if i notice ur this kind of person,I swear to god, I will delete u and I will never ever speak to u ever again. what nonsense.

    the third kind of people I hate are people who dont know how to chat. someone like me, if im chatting with u, I write long messages. 4 lines 5 lines but these people will respond with words like

    JESU OLUWA, after everything I wrote, u respond with ok or nice, I swear to god I will delete ur stupid ass. I hate boring people who lack excitement in their useless lives. I hate people who dont know how to gist.

    • olu

      July 15, 2015 at 9:29 pm


    • exactly!

      July 15, 2015 at 9:35 pm

      Kai! I agree with you Bruno especially about the last type of people. The most annoying response on earth is ‘k’ and its not because they are too busy to respond properly, instead they think its cool and in the mean time they are pissing me off and it definitely tells me they are a waste of time with their unimaginative response, so dry it hurts. Nice article!

    • ACE

      July 15, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      @Bruno Fierce I agree with you 100% for the first time. LMAO

    • ada

      July 15, 2015 at 10:02 pm

      Haha bruno take it easy not good on ur blood pressure….but ill confess weve all done it wen we dont wanna prolong any convo..the short ok ill chat ltr.. is sign of “am truly really busy chat later..and i like to jist n cath up…e.g wen pple wanna chat wen am studying for my medical exam..n cant get thats really not a right time. I appreciate pple that ask “if its ok to talk now? Rather than getting upset even after i explain to them..its just a matter of the people around you knowing your situation

    • Me

      July 15, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      My darling it’s palestine and not Iraq 🙂

    • ola

      July 15, 2015 at 11:03 pm

      Me too. Hate boring people who don’t know how to keep a conversation going. I used to make an effort to make conversations interesting but not anymore, I just stopped trying. And I delete too. Trust me, you don’t delete as much as I do. If I take out time to send you messages I don’t see why you can’t reply. Do you have two heads or do you think I don’t have work to do, ni?

    • anon

      July 16, 2015 at 4:20 am

      OMG you really hit the nail on its head …I really despise all this…I rather you be freaking honest than waste both our time.

    • Tosin

      July 16, 2015 at 6:09 am

      yeah i don’t chat, mi amor.
      but no i’m not busy.

    • Otrizzy

      July 16, 2015 at 11:08 am

      Bruno i fall into the number 3 category not because i dnt know how to gist ,but cos i dnt enjoy chatting at all . I find it so annoying when am doing something very important you are sending me series of messages non stop hmmmm biko ,watin ? was it because of me whatsapp was invented ?

      Can you imaging somebody watsapping you are early as 8:30 when they know you just got into the office ,asking question like ,are you in the office now ,did you sleep well ,you are know longer chatting with me like the way you use too SMH .I will block you fast before you even think of evening deleting my number . Before doing somethings i believe we should put on our thinking CAP .

      I prefer calling , and i try as much to tell some of my contact the love chatting to please call or i call you back .Its all about understanding .

    • too

      July 16, 2015 at 11:35 pm

      I guess Bruno is on about those who do it on purpose to feel important or not to come off desperate or clingy

    • Nino

      July 16, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      I understand your plight with the last set of people… but you did not have to call my Jesus name twice in your rant and truth is you have attention issues which i suppose we all know by now.

    • larz

      July 16, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Have you considered that in trying not to people person 2, you can turn into person 3. Also, there are ppl who genuinely don’t take these whole calling/ texting seriously. The amount of time my hubby have said oh yer, I need to call / respond to my (friend/ mum etc). And when I ask when did they call/ text he says something like a few days back. Why? Becuz he was busy at when they called/ texts and then he forgets. His frns and family know he is one of the most loyal/ supportive and reliable people u will ever meet. If u ask me, when you delete someone like that from your life, it will very likely be your loss!

    • bera

      July 19, 2015 at 1:49 pm

      Bruno please get a life!!!!!! Sitting by your phone and waiting forever for someone to reply your message is just sick!!!! U think its everyone that has time to type???? Why dont u just call the person??? U expect people to he chatting away when u can call and discuss whatever it Was u wanted to talk about??? Pluuuesssseee….some people actually ‘are’ busy!!!!….

      To make it easy u call!!!! U won’t die!!! Nigerian men just love to Whatsap..cuts cost bah?!!
      Metchewww and tell me u would like us to chat about something later then maybe..,just maybe. I would find time for u..


  3. ACE

    July 15, 2015 at 9:52 pm

    OMG! THE last statement says it all “no matter how busy a person is, if they really care they will always find time for you”. Full stop!

  4. sisixs

    July 15, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    lmao bruno abeg go to bed

  5. Jummai Hauwa

    July 15, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    Wow hilarious………..but that’s true

  6. Mercie

    July 15, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    Bruno on this one, you took the words right out of my mouth.the way people chat in Nigeria is seems pple deliberately refuse to reply msgs immediately and be forming busy.busy my foot! I even have a friend who will be changing dp o but won’t read her MSG.the one liners are the most irritating.i go don write epistle and all they can say is kk. That thing makes my head hot o. Even someone that claims he likes you will be chatting with you like he is been forced to chat..nonsense

  7. Josh

    July 15, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    Is it me or did this article start with a grammatical error? Anyways, this article is too bland(sorry chi), couldn’t connect the intro with the rest and the examples she gave appear too fictional. Classic case of a nice idea badly written.

    Anyways, not in a relationship,except with myself but I guess when I enter one,commitment would be one of the first thing we would discuss. If there is commitment,both parties would find the time.
    No time for peoples’ comments being longer than the article [email protected] feeble

    • Loveaddict

      July 16, 2015 at 12:21 am

      It is just you oh. Isn’t it better to cite the error so that BN can correct it rather than just questioning something you are not sure of. I like Bruno’s reply oh. Talk your own rather than criticize others. Bitter off

  8. Not a Cynic but a Realist

    July 15, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    Nobody is that busy.

    Everybody has at least✋ minutes (five) to make a phone call each day in between a tight schedule.

    They are either tired/need alone time (and can’t be bothered) which gets a pass….. Just state you were tired!


    They genuinely do not care about you…….

    It’s usually the Latter when busy busy busy becomes the main excuse.

    Leave ’em be.

  9. tana

    July 15, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    @bruno FIERCE……LOL
    from what you wrote i can tell you are a high caliber GOSSIPER!!!

    • Shalsl

      July 16, 2015 at 1:35 am

      Its “gossip” and not gossiper, that isn’t even a word.


    July 15, 2015 at 11:23 pm


  11. Elyn

    July 15, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    We can never get enough of u Brother Bruno, so u can call on Jesus who died on d cross of calvary nd God? They are one so I pray He comes to your rescue.

  12. bunmi

    July 15, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    I totally agree

  13. chifire

    July 15, 2015 at 11:50 pm

    @tana! It’s GOSSIP.
    Thank me later.

  14. happy

    July 15, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    thank you for this!

  15. ibkgeorge

    July 15, 2015 at 11:57 pm

    LOL.So true..I always form busy for those i want to discharge in a nice way.Not ladies but for guys who can’t get the Memo Am not interested in you.Its just my subtle way of telling you ..

    • wink wink

      July 16, 2015 at 8:56 am

      Is it hard to just come straight?

    • bruno FIERCE

      July 16, 2015 at 9:53 am


      u are very silly childish and immature girl.

      so u cant tell the person, oh im sorry im not interested in u or I like u but not in that way or you’re not my type, instead u are wasting the person’s time.

      im busy im busy im busy. what are u doing that is making u so busy? are u cooking beans in the kitchen and u dont want it to burn?

      u lack manners. I know u may think its funny but u have no right to waste another person’s time. foolish girl.

      if u don’t like somebody open ur stupid mouth and say it, so the person can move to the next one instead of the person to be waiting for the time u are less busy which is never.

      im busy im busy im busy. to me, if u tell me ur busy I will just jump to the conclusion that u are sucking d**k somewhere thats why u are busy. looooool

    • Precious

      July 16, 2015 at 5:45 pm

      Bruno, stop insulting people na. Cant you disagree without insulting. Even if you make sense, i wont see it as sensible because of the insults. Repent.

  16. memebaby

    July 16, 2015 at 3:42 am

    some people are not just texters and I am one of them..maybe if its sweet gist (sometimes) or flirtatious text then I can text but if its something serious or not.. I rather talk on the phone abeg.. when people send me essays via text i just say ” ok when would be the best time to call coz i dont like texting”.. cell phone NOT KEYBOARD abeg 🙂

  17. Tunmi

    July 16, 2015 at 4:39 am

    That line that people will make the time for you if they truly care about you is so true. I am a busy person. I know I am. But I do make time for my friends. During the semester, everyone knows we are all focused on studying hard. But after exams are done ehn, na to party hard. Whether na house parry or beach trip, we are doing something for sure.

    I’m currently considering one guy who has some serious potential. He is busier than I am and he makes the time for us. We speak at least 3 times a week, usually in the evenings when we are done with our jobs. He is adventurous as well so our dates have included biking, driving lessons, and exploring farwaway beaches. Dude had 3 jobs, now 2 full time ones, and he’s taking classes. The only reason we’re not going full speed ahead on claiming each other in a relationship is because our schedules are just too busy. But we certainly make time for one another.

    I’m going to over share here. My sister is schizophrenic and she had a crisis today. The entire family is in Nigeria and I’m in the US. It was my first time experiencing it. She called frequently and was speaking and texting erratically. I got scared and worried, and called my ex as he is someone who knows me. He didn’t pick up and I accidentally dialed current prospect’s number. I hung up when I realized it was ringing, and he called back and actually stayed on the line with me till I calmed down. It was towards the end of the conversation that I realized he was at work or on his way to work. But he made the time, and I didn’t expect that.

    Speaking of which, since Lagos federal doctors are on strike (i understand their plight), does anyone know of private mental health clinics or private psychiatrists with a speciality in schizophrenia?

    • Best

      July 16, 2015 at 10:03 am

      Go to Happy Family Hospital in Surulere Lagos. It is a private hospital. My sister was taken there when she had a psychotic disorder.

    • Tunmi

      July 16, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      Thank you so much. I’ll give my mum a call

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      July 16, 2015 at 10:50 am

      It would be really great if the healthcare system in Lagos state has different private and government facilities which provide considerable specialist care for schizophrenics.

      My late sister suffered from schizophrenia and I will always doubt whether we did enough for her as a family by relying on the very limited care we were able to get for her in Port Harcourt. It was the after effects of the drugs she was put on that I hated the most.

      Truly hope your family find a good specialist and your sister gets the best available treatment at her location. xx

    • Tunmi

      July 16, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      That’s another matter. Whether to take the drugs or not. They do help her but this crisis was triggered by something. I don’t know if it was her exams being cancelled, a breakup with an ex, or whatever. I’m not sure if therapy alone will work or a combination of the two. Thanks again

    • Meah

      July 16, 2015 at 12:06 pm

      @Tunmi; My sister is a medical doctor with specialty in psychiatry. She works with a really good team but they are with the University Teaching Hospital in Ife, not Lagos. If distance is not an issue for your folks, they may want to try the teaching hospital. I pray for your sister and family members. *hugs*

    • Tunmi

      July 16, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      Thanks so much. She’s religious so she’ll appreciate your prayers. Thanks so much.

  18. brilly

    July 16, 2015 at 5:13 am

    relax bruno,l hope dis will serve de victims riit.

  19. Tosin

    July 16, 2015 at 6:06 am

    i pick up my phone when i feel like it, could be once in a few days i actually touch the thing and find whatever goodies it has for me. no need to read deep into this – i don’t like cell phones. they’re intrusive. and they’re ugly. they’re flat, how ridiculous is that? remember those sleek phones with receivers and answering machines? anyway, i’m not on call, i’m not an emergency room surgeon, so yeah. when i had an “on call” job, ok maybe.

    this is bleeding into email too, i don’t do urgent email. sorry. again, when i’m on call, i.e. a gra gra job, then sure, i change for the short time required.

    as for relationships, i don’t believe in making relationships into some type of work. if we’re close like that, move in. if i did work as a diplomat tho, yeah i might move mountains to make smooth relationships between countries.

    everybody who knows me gets the manual so they understand.

  20. Tosin

    July 16, 2015 at 6:17 am

    Deep down, everyone wants to find “The One”;
    is a terrible terrible line. i thought we had outgrown this fluffy generalizing. can we take a poll and get it over with.
    me deep down, i’ll take the seven, the fifteen, the five hundred.

    • TTT

      July 16, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Tosin,, I find you quite weird…

    • Tosin

      July 16, 2015 at 11:37 am

      but i am open, if you like weird 😉

      i really should graduate to those picture things – what do they call them? emoji. i claim that as the next level in my life now, having mastered the smiley, winky, and upsidedownsmiley, and oooh, the heart which my sister taught me. ps, @ Not a Cynic’s comment, your hand five minutes was pretty nifty!

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      July 16, 2015 at 11:57 am

      loooool! right? I ve tried to figure out Tosin,but its hard and exciting too, you dont know what to expect. Most times Tosin talks in abstracts. Tosin, I will like to meet you shaa, you sound fascinating like a poem, seemingly reaching, ever elusive…

    • Tosin

      July 16, 2015 at 1:07 pm

      hugs back @nwanyi.
      i wan learn igbo o.

  21. stopdhating

    July 16, 2015 at 8:50 am

    For those hating others,mayb dat is y Ur msgs get d “kk”.U can dislike Ppl not hate.hmmm….Anger mgt issues.

  22. Personal Signature

    July 16, 2015 at 9:01 am

    We all know when someone doesn’t want us but we keep trying.

    If you have tried your best and he/she keeps forming busy, delete the person from your life and move on b4 it is too late.

    Never make someone who doesn’t care about you or know you exist, your priority!

  23. ola

    July 16, 2015 at 10:41 am

    I hate that line about “i’m not a chatting kinda person”. Yet, you’re on bbm, whatsapp, twitter et al. If u don’t like chatting then don’t be on bbm and tell me oh, i’m sorry, I just don’t like chatting. Abi, why are you on my bbm? To decorate my phone? Na delete straight, if you’re not some celeb I don’t see why you should be decorating my bbm….. and by the way, BN, I think the writer meant “absolutely” instead of “absolute” in the first sentence. Can you please change it?

  24. patsychy

    July 16, 2015 at 11:05 am

    let me do some corrections here,chatting is for leisure time and its not as important as Calling.u can’t chat at workplace when you have piles of work to be done in front of u…..and u are responding to chat messages of some people who feel they have time on their hands….u chat in the evenings probably when u must have been back from the days toil, and settled down.and again I lay emphasis on calls….I value calls and text messages than social network messages……. if its that important,place a CALL! and also there’s no amount of busy you are to forget your parents,siblings,partner or other loved ones……

  25. kcz

    July 16, 2015 at 11:13 am

    i truly love this article especially with the honest comments rolling. i was in a relationship that really drained me and up till now i was thinking maybe i should have bin patient and just don bug abt the communication gap. my ex wasnt good in that aspect at all, always forming busy and wen u guys chat is always monosyllabic, it could be so annoying and wen i complain abt it, it looks like am nagging abt it. and am not so a patient person cos dt makes me feel like u aint ready cos i presume he cant b doing dt to everybody. how can one travel out of d country and wont tel his gf he is traveling and he gets dere and cant call dt he has arrive cos he was angry at her. i had to move on but sometimes i ask myself if i was too fast in condemning or am jus bin silly cos deep down i know he didnt treat me right

    • Prime Babe

      July 16, 2015 at 12:37 pm

      My dear, you did non’ wrong in my opinion. The signs of “girl dates self” were being displayed. Take time to love your self, and find (or polish) those good things you like or enjoy doing and while at it, hide anything that makes you remember your ex. no SM stalking, texting, emailing etc. You will be fine I promise.

  26. Lonely Girl...

    July 16, 2015 at 11:45 am

    ” Deep down, everyone wants to find “The One”; that person that they are willing to share the world with – that special person will have all the time and attention needed because they are/will be held in high regard. For the others, the polite way to let them off is to gradually reduce the amount of time and effort made to sustain the relationship. If you notice that the time with your partner gets shorter each day, it’s time to rethink your commitment”

    Thats my favourite part of the ESSAY. Can’t imagine me calling you and you not replying or returning my call. Well I learnt from this kind of peeps to learn to love myself. and chat with only people who want to chat with me.

  27. Jhennique

    July 16, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    Married people with successsful careers and kids find time to have affairs. Dont let a single person tell you theyare too busy for you

  28. anonymonus

    July 16, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    what about someone who picks your calls ALL the time even if its in the midnight, sees you almost everyday but hardly calls you except when you haven’t called in 3 days and it’s a call to say ‘are you fine?, is everything okay?

  29. anonymous

    July 16, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    Lool. lovely comments here. I just had to comment.
    As stated people form busy for those who they try to ignore or let go but still hand around like a baggage. Using myself as an example… there is this guy i met a while ago, he saw my pix on a friend’s dp and my friend gave him my pin. At first i thought it was ‘normal’ friendship but later the guy starting saying he liked me and blahhh.. I didn’t really take it as anything thinking we could gel as friends and something. i realized we probably do not like the same things. i am an extrovert, he is intro/ extro, i like to hang out at different places for inspiration and relaxation.. he doesnt know more than beach, eateries or the mall. when we talk there is no flow, he can come sit at my house for over one hour in the car telling me all the stories…i am not moved..he is simply not the ‘one’. When i go out there is 5 w’s and ‘h… when are you going out, who are you going with, what time are u coming back, where are you hanging out, how are you going and why do u you like hanging…. are you a police? or my father? it is either he says he wants to meet me where i am hanging with my friends or he would come see me after i finish.. at what time-9’00 clock…there was a time he told me i should help go to market for him and his cousin as they did not know how to price and women insult men who go to the market… omo i refused oo. cos i did wife duties for one of my ex…we still broke…so why do same for this guy whom is still trying his luck..he then had ‘h’ factor again.. my aunt thinks he is fine and has a good job but am like can i marry this guy…..there is no common ground.. anyways i started forming busy to let him off as i told him i cant date him.. but this man has refused to leave hoping one day..’he gets married to ..’. Point made is people are busy with their lives- work, family, pressures etc and would make time if you are worth it and not considered a time waster. If someone constantly tells you i am busy.. check yourself you guys are probably not headed the same way and it is just a way to tell you to move on. A true friend/ lover is never busy… we all make up that story…
    Please don’t throw shades at me… it’s just a honest opinion…enjoy

  30. Nammy

    July 16, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Rily love chatting with all the emoticons and all but we really need to be close before we move to the chatting level, meet a guy on the street, exchange numbers and next thing he is hiing me on WhatsApp, what ever happened to calling
    my WhatsApp chat is private nd bbm chat more private

  31. ediyefunk

    July 16, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    He’s actually right…. “I absolute….. is totally wrong in that sentence but I believe it was a typo. And errrm yes, those short responses and sometimes acronyms I totally can’t stand!

  32. Aproko

    July 17, 2015 at 1:30 am

    The comment section is killing me! I’ve just been laughing. This is a very good topic to write on. You hit the nail on the head.

  33. Mr Y

    July 17, 2015 at 11:44 pm

    My girlfriend whom is now my ex lol was usually busy. Never calls. Battery dead, data finished, want to pray, want to sleep, brb, want to cook, want to bath, want to shit, going out to a birthday, them gals are here, we are playing a game, talking with my mum, wait let me call you back. All sort of excuses. Thank God i’m a patient and understanding guy. It didn’t work out because her mum found her a supposedly hot guy when she moved back to Nigeria. I’m here licking my wounds and waiting on God.

  34. Koffie

    July 19, 2015 at 1:04 am

    I don’t enjoy chatting, it has to be really hot tea for me to chat. I liked it during Nysc though cos I had so much leisure time. I also don’t like stressful relationships, if you’re my friend and you still don’t get me but would rather nag about how I don’t chat you up then you’re on your own. I take calls more seriously, I can go into the restroom at work to receive/make a call but I can’t sit at my desk where my ‘in charge’ can see me and be chatting on bbm or whatever. I’m not dating right now but I think I’ll also rather call my boyfriend if I had one than chat. Its not to ‘form’ busy, why would anyone want to form busy sef. It means you actually care about that person’s perception of you so much so that you engineer it? Taah

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